


All the Things That Can Change in a Hundred and Four Days

by Toxic_Waste



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Mind Manipulation, F/M, Internal Conflict, Mysterious Force, Older Characters, Phindace, Post-Canon, Semi-Canonical Character, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 07:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 197,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12744264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toxic_Waste/pseuds/Toxic_Waste
Summary: Seasons come - seasons go. The cycle of weather is a fact of life, unceasing and constant. And for some people, time's passage is just a means of measuring how much time is left until their meticulously planned future comes fully to pass. But when time travel itself can fail to accurately predict the future, what's to stop even the most carefully-laden of plans from falling apart?





	1. Rollercoaster

**Author's Note:**

> This is the start of a multi-chapter story - and something that I never actually thought I would try to do: write a shipping story - and for Phindace no less. It's an unusual ship, no doubt, but hopefully this story will fulfill its purpose in explaining how such a thing may have come to be, and what the aftermath of the events leading up to it may have been.
> 
> This story follows my other long story, Driving Our Sister Insane, coming around four years after its conclusion. Although reading that one in advance is not required, I would recommend it, as it provides background for several events and certain character developments that take place within this story. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I do hope that you enjoy!

As the early morning sun slowly rose over the town of Danville, the season of Spring officially drew to a much-anticipated close. The hottest and most carefree part of the year of 2021 was about to begin - from now on, the hours of daylight would gradually increase in number, and the mercury in the thermometers would reach increasingly higher and higher peaks until late into the year.

While most of the town was content to celebrate the changing of the season with a passing glance at the calendar and a perhaps brief remark on the impending hot season, the Flynn-Fletcher children had other ideas. Although for them the days leading up to this summer had been so much like all the ones preceding, finding their most marked difference in the ever-so-slowly increasing ages of the three, that was all destined to change. Indeed, before the sun set for the last time on this summer, things were going to change - some drastically, and some perhaps a little less so. After all, as is said so often, the more certain things change, the more they seem to stay the same. And some things, well, there are some things about every person that neither time nor trial will ever be able to change. But still - it was just one more summer in a long procession of summers before. How much could _possibly_ change?

 

You might be surprised.

* * *

"Beep! Beep!"

"I know what we're going to do today!"

"Beep! Beep!"

"I know what we're going to do today!"

"Beep-"

Candace slammed her hand down on the snooze button and rolled over in bed with a groan. Although she loathed the idea of getting up, her eyes still sprang open. That alarm didn't signify the usual 'get up and head off to school' that it had for the past six months. No, for the next one hundred and four days, she was free. The first half of the twelfth grade had drawn to a satisfying conclusion yesterday afternoon, and today marked the first beautiful day of  _summer vacation_.

Twelfth grade - wow! Just a few years ago, it seemed so far off. In retrospect, it hadn't been as bad as she'd expected. Even the most difficult of calculus problems had proven easy - though that might be expected when you were literally able to solve rocket science and quantum mechanics problems in your head, and often did so, on a daily basis.

A subdued knock on her door roused her from her thoughts.

"Candace, are you up yet?" Phineas asked, his voice carrying through her door. "C'mon! We're waiting on you!"

That was all the motivation she needed.

"I'm up, I'm up!" she yelled back, throwing aside the bed covers and springing up. She flung open her closet doors and snatched out the first outfit that hung within. Snagging up her phone from her nightstand, she slid it into her pocket and swung open her door to where her brothers were waiting.

"Alright, let's do this!" she said, rubbing her palms vigorously together. "Having to wait till after school to build things is the  _worst_."

"Well, for the next hundred and four days, we have  _all day_." Phineas responded. "All day, every day, all summer long." He raised his hand into the air.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" she asked, reaching up and high-fiving him. "Let's get this show on the road!"

Ferb merely smiled and gave a thumbs up.

They hurried down the stairs, through the sliding glass door, and into the backyard.

"Aw, yeah!" Candace inhaled the sweet newborn summer air. She smiled. It smelled of motor oil and competence - and overflowing potential. "This is gonna be awesome. I can feel it."

"So." Phineas grinned. "Roller coaster? It  _is_  the first day of summer, after all."

"I'm not one to break tradition," she started, watching for her brother's reaction. "But yesterday I got this idea: what if we connected the track to a quantum scrambler and ran it  _through_ stuff? Imaginethat, why don't you?"

"Ooh, that sounds neat!" Phineas agreed. "And it actually works perfectly with an idea that _I_ had: that we could set up one of those photographic teleporters, and for the very end of the ride, just have the cars fly off into space, only to be teleported back to safety."

"Now that  _would_ be a photo finish," Ferb spoke up.

"I know, right?" Phineas nodded enthusiasitcally.

Candace smiled and shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Let's get to it then - all this standing around and talking is making my head itch."

The wooden gate behind them creaked as it swung open, and they turned to face it.

"Hey, Phineas. Whatcha doin'?"

Phineas' eyes lit up at the sight of his lifelong friend.

Candace smiled to herself. Everything about Isabella - from the way her eyes grew wide in his presence, and the fact that her voice always seemed to be about an octave higher when she was talking to him - screamed out that she still hadn't given up in her relentless, yet ultimately useless, efforts to coax romance out of Phineas Flynn. If life was a television show, Candace was sure that Isabella's pupils would have been entirely made of hearts by this point. It was just another part of their annual summer tradition, and, as always, it flew unheeded past her younger brother.

"Hey, Isabella! Ferb and Candace and I were just talking about our new roller coaster. It's gonna be awesome."

"Oh, cool," Isabella assented. Though she was obviously desperate to be considered more than one, she was still Phineas' friend - and Candace could see clearly enough by the way her affected flirtations waned that she was still looking forwards to the day's imminent activity. "I can't wait. I'm sure it'll be awesome."

"Welp. Guess I'll go ahead and call the store," Candace said. "Give me a second."

"Sounds good," Phineas nodded. "We'll get the tools. Come on, guys."

Candace reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She woke the screen and took a moment to glance over messages from last night that she'd missed; a byproduct of going to bed earlier than normal. It had been worth it to be able to stomach rising so early in the morning, but it  _had_  made her miss some late-night messages.

_(3 new messages from Stacy 9:02 PM)_

_Ill see you tomorrow then will it be another rolle coaster_

_never mind why do i even ask_

_ill see you tehn_

_(1 new message from Baby Face Trucking Company 9:05 PM)_

_Your purchase of 10,000 meters of steel wire has been shipp... swipe for more_

_(1 new message from Jeremy 9:09 PM)_

_I'm off at 11 tomorrow, but don't know if I can make to your place until late...swipe for more_

_(1 new message from Shipment Tracker 10:23 PM)_

_Your package of serial number #23324 has arrived at a local depot and...swipe for more_

She quickly thumbed past the automatic messages, and skimmed over the ones from her friends, stopping to reply only to Jeremy.

  _yeah you can totally come over this afternoon I cant wait to see you! :) <3_

She closed the messaging app and scrolled through her contacts, at last finding the much-used number for the Super Duper Mega Superstore.

The line rang just two times before clicking and connecting to the other end.

"You've reached the Customer Assistance line for Super Duper Mega Superstore. This is Brandon speaking, how can I help you today?"

"I'd like to make a mobile purchase," she replied, running over the list of things they'd need in her mind. "Can you look up my purchase history for me? I'll need the same things as on this day last year, with  _juuust_  a few extras on top."

"I sure can," came the response over the speaker. "Do you have an account with us? If so, just enter your account number with your keypad and I'll get right back to you."

It was time to get this hundred-and-four day long party started. And what better way to do that than with a roller coaster? Not just anything roller coaster, but the  _best_  kind: the kind that defied all commonly accepted logic and and flew in the face of sanity for no reason other than that it  _could_. That was truly what separated the good from the best.

The sun arced slowly over Danville as the first day of summer rapidly fell into place to the symphony of trucks, tractors, and construction. The mountains of supplies residing in the yard were quickly assembled, in one way or another, into the coolest roller coaster ever to grace the face of the planet, and perhaps even the galaxy as whole.

It took them the better part of the morning, but once they finished, it stretched from Maple Drive, all along the roads, winding around the interstate overpasses, under a bridge, and slicing through the scattered banks of clouds in the sky. Children and teens and even a few adults from all over Danville were drawn in by the assorted posters scattered thickly about the town. (If you brought a poster with you, you could get on the ride for free!)

As the time passed twelve and began counting hours into the afternoon, a low-flying helicopter, that  _coincidentally_ happened to be carrying a super-strong magnet, snagged onto the coaster, forcibly tearing it loose from its foundations and carrying it off into the late afternoon sky.

"Well, it looks like Mom's on her way home," Phineas commented casually. Raising his voice, he continued. "That's all for today, everybody! The Coolest Coaster Ever is officially closed until next year!"

No one heard him beyond the people sitting next to him or in the rows immediately behind. Everyone was too busy focusing on the fact that they were riding a roller coaster train that had no track, that was bouncing and skidding around the world - snagging on the tail of a passing plane, slipping off and rebounding off the side of the (surprisingly stretchy) leaning tower of Pisa. But the Mysterious Force had never let anyone be hurt before, and thus it was Candace wasn't too shocked when the the carts tumbled from the lower boundary of outer space and descended in a shower of flame and debris onto the lone tree in the back yard.

Everyone was pitched out of the crashing carts, but in a series of coincidences too neat to be anything other than the Force, really, the network of branches and leaves that held together the canopy kept everyone unharmed beyond a few minor scratches and abrasions.

Phineas and Ferb slid most through the tree, falling all the way to the ground with a gentle thump, just as Linda Flynn-Fletcher swung open the wooden gate into the backyard. The Force had come through again, as it always did, and always would.

"I'm gonna go put these groceries away," Linda said. "I bought some more baking stuff too, so I can make more pie. It won't be ready for a bit, though." And with that, she disappeared into the house, completely unaware of what her children had been up to.

"Oh, there you are, Perry," Candace remarked, swinging down from the tree and landing on the grass next to her brothers.

The platypus stared at her out of one eye and chittered mindlessly.

"That was awesome, Phineas!" Isabella congratulated. "I'd definitely say it was better than last year's."

"Thanks!" Phineas replied. "Though it wasn't just me - Ferb and Candace and you and Buford and Baljeet helped out too. I think we all did good."

"Thanks," Isabella echoed. "Though I didn't really do much, really."

"Well, you did everything you could!" Phineas responded. "And that's what counts." He heaved a contented breath. "And I think that today was a great day. And tomorrow will be even better!"

Candace felt like jumping to say something but was interrupted before she could get at the chance. The wooden gate creaked again, and everyone in the yard turned to look at the newcomer.

"Hey, Candace!" Stacy said from the gate. "Sorry, I'm late. What'd I miss?"

"Stacy!" she called back. "Oh, not much - only the coolest roller coaster ever to be built by man or teenager."

"Yeah, I saw," Stacy replied. "On my way over here, there was this helicopter  _way_  up in the sky, and I'm pretty sure that it was attached to something of that sort. Where do you think it'll end up?"

Candace shrugged. "It's the Mysterious Force," she replied. "Who knows? Where ever it goes, you can be sure that my mom won't ever see it."

"How did it even get carried off?" Stacy asked. "I thought you did, like, loop-de-loops around the interstate overpasses or whatever."

"Roller coaster track very flimsy - highway overpass very sturdy," Candace explained. "No, but seriously, it is just made of wood and metal - probably just breaks on the concrete or something."

"Huh. Well, whatever." Stacy shrugged. "Do you want to go somewhere or do something? I know it's kinda late in the afternoon, but it'll still be fun."

"Ooh." Candace shook her head. "I'd love too - but can we go tomorrow? I'm waiting for Jeremy right now."

"Jeremy?" Stacy echoed. "You are?"

"Yeah?" she repeated, somewhat confused. "He told me he'd be here sometime later in the afternoon. We're gonna do something together - something romantic, I _know_."

"Sure," Stacy said. "Yeah, about that - there's not anything going on between you two, is there?"

"Going on between us? What do you mean?"

"I don't know, it's just - I haven't seen you really hanging out with him for an awful long time now. Are you sure everything's okay?"

"Oh, pssh. I  _love_  him, and he  _loves_ me! We're in  _love_! Love doesn't let things like ... uh ... um ..." Candace counted on her fingers for a second. "Five, six, seven ... teen days without seeing your boyfriend get in the way of things! Besides, he's getting ready to go to college at end of the year, and summer vacation's only just started today! You just watch!" Candace was a bit surprised that her friend would even think such things. She and Jeremy were a perfect couple - and nothing could change that. Right?

"Well, whatever you say, I guess," Stacy replied. She still sounded unconvinced, but shrugged again. "I mean, if you're sure, then I guess it's good enough for me. Just seems a bit strange is all."

"Nah," Candace reassured her. "Everything's good. We've just both been so busy is all. School  _was_ in all that time, you know."

"Mm. Cool." Stacy glanced around at the backyard, which was now empty except for the two of them. "Where'd everybody else go?" She paused and leaned back on the wooden fence, taking a long deep breath. "No, wait, don't say it. I can smell some sort of dessert already. Is it ... pie?"

"Probably," Candace answered. "Hang on for one second."

She walked from the fence to back of the house and pulled the sliding glass door open.

"Whatcha eatin' in there?" she yelled into the house.

"Candace!" she heard Phineas yell back from the kitchen. "We're having cake! Do you want some? Or Stacy? It's really good."

"Maybe in a bit." she called back, sliding the door shut and returning to her place at the fence.

"So ... cake?" Stacy said. "Way to break from tradition there."

Candace shrugged. "What can I say? We apparently ate all the pie stuff yesterday after school got out. It was a great time anyway."

"Sounds like it. So - oh. It looks like our time is up."

What? Oh! Candace felt her heart rate speed up as if she was about to begin some great causality-defying project. It was Jeremy. He was a bit late, perhaps, having missed the entirety of the new summer coaster again, but that was okay. In Candace's mind, he was perfect - how could she hold missing projects against him?

"Hey, Candace," he greeted. "And Stacy." he added in passing. "How're you doing?"

"I'm doing good," Candace answered, subconsciously lapsing briefly into the same dreamy tone that she'd so often seen Isabella use when talking to Phineas. Stopping to clear her throat, she continued. "Were you able to see our roller coaster from work?"

"I'm just going to - go now," Stacy cut in. "Maybe go get some of that cake, if you don't mind." She smiled, and then turned and disappeared through the sliding glass door into the house.

"Well?" Candace repeated.

"Yeah. Uh, sadly, no." Jeremy frowned slightly. "I was working in the back today. Sorry."

"Oh," she replied. "That sucks - I had this really cool thing set up that you could see from the front of the Slushy Burger." Now he wouldn't get to see it either. She should have taken a picture of it while she'd had the chance.

"Sorry. It's - not really my choice, you know."

"I know," Candace said. "Whatever. You want to do something?"

His eyebrows moved the tiniest bit up his forehead.

"Like what?" he asked, with a strange tinge of nervousness in his voice that Candace couldn't really identify.

"I don't know," she answered. "We can go out for ice cream if you want. Sound good?"

"Ice cream?" He looked thoughtful. "Yeah, that sounds nice." He paused. "Where at?"

"Oh!" Candace exclaimed. "I've got the best idea. We can get the ice cream and then eat it in the hover jet! It'll be such a great view of everything from way up in the sky - and there'll be the sunset. Soooo romantic."

"You have a  _hover jet_?" he asked incredulously. "I mean, I don't even know why I'm surprised, really. I... guess we could do that, but it wouldn't it be just as well to eat it in the park? I mean it, uh, saves gas?"

Candace hesitated for a moment. "I suppose," she relented. "Gas isn't a huge deal, really, but if that's what you want."

"Then it's decided," he replied, heaving a sigh. Why was he worried so much about gas anyway? Oh - maybe he didn't know that the hover jet consumed literal ounces of the stuff?

"If you really that worried about gas," she hastened to explain. "It'd be totally fine for just one outing - I mean, we could take it all the way around the world for like a gallon of the stuff. The engine's super efficient. See, Phineas and Ferb and I, we took proton plasma and -"

"Candace," he said, interrupting her. He reached up to tap his own head. "I've not gonna have any idea what you're talking about. Sorry."

"Oh, yeah, right." she grimaced. "Sorry."

"It's not a big deal," he said. "It's just - well, you know nobody can follow you or your brothers when you start going on about science stuff. You'll have to save it for them."

"Right," she admitted. She knew that - and was still in the process of trying to curb her tendency to ramble on about stuff like that. It was a bad habit from way back in her busting days, with the only difference being the fact that where her friends had been able to follow her impassioned rants about busting her brothers, as nonsensical as they may have been, they could simply  _not_  when it came to the science and engineering that she was now involved in. She knew that politeness would dictate that she restrict her talk about such things to her brothers, but sometimes her excitement got the best of her and, well, you got this. Ah, well. It happened to Phineas sometimes too, which helped ease some of the guilt.

"So, should we go?" he asked again, shaking her from her thoughts.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, totally." She stepped forwards and grabbed a hold of the handle of the fence gate. "Let's go."

Everything about this day was going swimmingly, at least as far as Candace thought. Her system was still flush with the excitement of the day's rollercoaster, what with it having been the first major project for almost a week. Summer vacation was just great that way - large projects every day, instead restricted to weekends and half days. None of those puny things hardly deserving of the title 'project' that were put together after school ended on weekdays for the sole purpose of staving off withdrawals. As far as first days of summer went, this one was shaping to up to quite the memorable occasion.

And now it was time to seal the deal: a romantic outing in the park with Jeremy Johnson. Sadly, he'd rejected the idea of the private flight on the hover jet, but that was a small nitpick, although it  _would_  have been super romantic. Just the two of them, all alone up above the city... Well, the reason he'd decided against it was because he was worried about her spending too much gasoline to run the jet, which; although he frankly should have known it would not be an issue, was nonetheless endearing and not something she would even think to blame him for.

"So, did anything happen at work today?" she asked as they walked along the sidewalk towards the park.

"Oh, not much," he answered. "Uh, roundabout at nine or so we had a power surge that blacked out the whole restaurant for like five minutes." He paused and glanced back at her. "I'm sure that probably coincided with a certain roller coaster coming online, hm?"

Candace shook her head. "No, we ran the coaster on fusion reactors. It's way more space and energy efficient than electricity and - oh." She stopped to clear her throat. "Continue." He smiled a strange smile, and she briefly wondered just what it meant? But quickly forgot all about it.

"Anyway," he resumed, "All the computers were down for like ten minutes - they all had some weird error message on them, and the manager had to call the company's tech support to figure it out."

"Huh," Candace replied thoughtfully. "Did you ever figure out what happened?"

Jeremy shook his head. "No - but they eventually turned back on by themselves, which was good enough for me and everybody else."

"Hmm," she meditated. "If they didn't turn on for a ten minutes, then rebooted by themselves - just wondering: were the screens  _off_  or, like, blue screens of death?"

"Uh." He looked off into the sky. "They were blue-screened? I think? I didn't really pay much attention to them when they were all messed up like that."

"Yeah, I - mm." Candace cut herself off. You'd think that after almost four years of this, she'd have it under control by now. But, no, the mere passage of time was no accurate measuring stick when it came to things like this. She spent a lot of time with her brothers, time in which such topics of conversation were very frequent, and flowed as naturally as any other - and time that was a powerful counteragent to her attempts to keep this specific part of herself from constantly asserting itself when not in their company.

"So... you were saying?" she finally said after another unreasonably long pause.

"Oh, nothing," he responded. "That was pretty much it, actually. Nothing else of note really happened, unless you count the time we ran out mustard?"

Candace didn't reply, instead looking up and down the street to ascertain their exact location, and how much longer it would take to get to the park. Hmm. Baljeet's house was right there, so it wouldn't be much farther now - just on the order of a few minutes. The early evening air was still cool - it was only the  _first_  day of summer, after all - and it made the walk pleasant. It was made even more pleasant by the company she was in, but the positively balmy weather definitely didn't hurt.

"Will you be able to make it earlier tomorrow?" she asked. "Early enough to participate in tomorrow's project, I mean. Whatever it is - I've not talked with them about it yet, though I suppose that's nothing a little time travel couldn't fix." She looked over at him and waited in silence for an answer.

"I don't know," he said at last. "I mean, I don't get off till later in the afternoon, but I think my parents might have some stuff that they'll want me to do."

"Like what?" she asked curiously. "Your dad works at the space science lab or whatever, right? I can help with that - or even with anything, really. Do you need to clean your house or something? Because I can totally get that android machine in the garage working again and have it make a bunch of ... "

"No, no, no, it's alright," he said. "There's no need for all of that. I'll do it on my own and just give you call whenever I get done. Does that sound good?"

"Well, sure," she almost immediately relented, unwilling to contradict his wishes. "But you might miss the project - and that would make it ten days in row." Candace loved it when Jeremy came and got see and use the things that she built. It seemed to be happening increasingly rarely though.  _Confirmation bias_ , she told herself.  _You're worrying about nothing_.

Jeremy smiled again, and almost instantly, she was comforted. "Well, how about I promise to come to whatever you guys do on the day after tomorrow?" he offered. "I'll try my best for tomorrow, but can't promise anything there."

"Okay." She nodded. "I guess. I mean, I lov - it's fine. I'll see you the day after tomorrow, then?"

"I'm not leaving right  _now_ ," he pointed out. "We haven't even had our ice cream yet."

Candace perked back up at the thought. Well, of course. As they turned off the sidewalk and into the small grassy stretch that made up the Sycamore Lane Park, she scanned the park until she was able to spy the vendor who frequented the area with his little wheeled cart.

She knew the vendor well enough now from one time in the past where she and her brothers had helped him fix up his ice cream cart after it had been destroyed in a freak accident involving a flying glob of an odd liquid that immediately rendered complex objects into their component parts. The cart had been quite literally laying in pieces scattered across the ground when they'd run into him - something that had they had taken upon themselves to repair, because hey, why not?

"Hey!" she called out to him. "How you doing?"

"Oh, hey!" he called back. "Candace, right? I'm doing just fine. Business's been good today. You?"

"I've been good too," she answered, closing the short distance between them. "How's the new cart?"

"It's great," he said, patting its metal surface. "I've not had to recharge the battery once yet. It's saving me a ton on overhead."

"Well, that's cold fusion for you." She grinned. "I'd loosely guess that it'll run for the next, oh let's see, five hundred years? Around that, at least."

"Well, it's been two weeks now and still going strong." He reached down and tapped the back side of the cart. "My little battery indicator back here hasn't budged from the green zone one bit. So, can I get you anything?"

"Oh, hm. I'll have just a regular plain vanilla cone - actually, no, make that a bowl."

"Alright. And for your friend?"

Candace glanced back over her shoulder at Jeremy.

"I'll just have a cone," he said. "Uh, make it chocolate." He paused for a moment, digging around in his pocket. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nah," the man replied, holding out the food. "Candace and her brothers always get free from me - just my way of saying thanks for their help. Since you're with her, you can just consider this one on the house."

"The fact that you  _don't_  know that is proof positive that we don't get out together often enough," Candace said, taking the paper bowl and plastic scoop from the vendor. "How long has it been since we've done this anyway?"

Jeremy frowned briefly as she turned back to say goodbye to the ice cream vendor.

"Well?" she echoed as they walked away, in the general direction of one of the park's scattered picnic tables.

"It's not been _that_ long," he replied. "We've been together without coming here, you know."

Candace dug out a heaping scoopful of ice cream from her bowl and swallowed it.

"Ugh," she said, shivering. "That was stupid. Why did I do that?"

"Brainfreeze?" he asked with amusement. "Why  _did_  you do that?"

She took a deep breath as the brief spurt of discomfort slowly faded. "It's ice cream, you know?" she finally replied. "You've just gotta take a huge first bite. And deal with the consequences later, I guess."

They had now reached the nearest table, which squeaked in protest as they took seats on it. This same furniture had been in the park ever since Candace could remember. It was probably high time that somebody replace the picnic furniture out here - the years out under the sun and rain and occasional snow were really catching up to it.

"I here they're planning on doing some maintenance to these parks," Jeremy said, echoing her thoughts. "I saw it on the news last night, I think."

"Oh, really?" she asked. "Huh. It's about time, I guess. This stuff's been here for a  _really_  long time."

"Yeah," he continued. "Well, on the TV they said it's been almost twenty years since there was any real work done on them."

"Huh, neat." She took another mouthful of the dessert. "Hmm." Her thoughts flickered back to the official-letter she'd seen addressed to Phineas when she'd brought up the mail early this afternoon. There was a good chance that the city council would try to get  _them_  to do it. This wouldn't mark the first time, and although their renovations often got drastically downgraded by the Mysterious Force, they were still pretty much the best in town. Well, maybe not the  _best_ , considering the Force's actions affecting the quality of their work, but certainly the  _fastest_  - no other landscapers/contractors/construction crews could complete projects of such scale in a single afternoon like they did.

"So, what have you been up to recently?" he asked after a moment.

"Well, not much with school and all," Candace said. "Between that and homework and inventing, there wasn't much time for anything really noteworthy. Oh, last Thursday Stacy and I went shopping at Googolplex again. There was a really great sale, though I didn't actually buy anything because, you know, I couldn't actually afford any of it."

"Hmm. Sounds like you had fun."

"Yeah, it was." Candace said. "But not as much fun as right now."

She could have sworn that Jeremy suddenly got an uncomfortable look on his face for the briefest of moments, but it was gone before she could so much as focus her vision on it. She thought back to her and Stacy's short conversation from earlier. Was something actually going on?

 _No,_  she decided. _She just put those thoughts in my head, and now I'm seeing things._

"Well, um, yeah, yes. Hm." Candace tripped over her own words. Why was she making this so awkward? She just needed to put those thoughts out of her head. Stacy was  _wrong_ , okay? It happened. Time to just forget about it.

"This is good ice cream." she finally said in an effort to resuscitate the fast-dying conversation. She ate another scoopful. "Very good."

"Yes, yes it is." Jeremy agreed, his old laid-back attitude returning.

Silence once more settled down like a blanket, but this time she was comfortable underneath it. What was not to love? She sighed happily and turned her focus more fully on the paper bowl of ice cream on the picnic table.

All around them, the afternoon slowly slipped away, at last gradually fading into evening. The ice cream having long since been eaten, Candace's stomach rumbled with hunger. It was time for her to take her leave at last. They left the park, and walked through the streets until they reached the familiar yellow house, its windows glowing warmly out into the early evening.

"So, I'll see you the day after tomorrow?" she asked.

Jeremy thought for a moment. "Yeah, probably. And if not, then _definitely_ the day after that."

"And you're _sure_ that you don't want any help tomorrow?"

"No, I'm quite sure," he shook his head, chuckling. "It's - it's nothing anyway. Easy chores that'll just take a long time and be super monotonous. I'll be fine."

"It would only take me a a few minutes," she protested. "I don't even know what it is, but I'm confident that Phineas and Ferb and I could ... "

"I'm sure you could," he broke in. "But, I don't think that'll be necessary. You three do whatever you're gonna do tomorrow - don't waste it on my stuff."

Candace frowned. It wouldn't be waste - it would be for Jeremy! That would never be a waste. But he seemed firm, at least for now. At last she relented and dropped the subject. "Well, goodnight then."

"'Night," he replied. "I did have fun today. It's nice to just go out sit in the park, you know."

"Yeah!" she agreed enthusiastically. "And next time, I'm not gonna let you convince me against the hover jet. It's gonna be awesome."

"Oh - yeah. Sure, can't wait." he answered. "Well, I'll see you later."

Candace opened the front door and waved as he stepped down off the porch and strode down the sidewalk away from the house.  _Wait a second_ , she realized,  _we didn't_   _ki_ -

"Candace!" her mother's voice interrupted her thought. "Don't leave the door hanging open. You can either stay outside or come inside, but don't let all the air conditioning out."

_Oh, well. There'll be plenty of time for kissing later - all summer, and all our lives._

She stepped inside and shut the door.


	2. Restaurant

The days and nights of summertime began slipping away as the old, comfortable pattern of things was once more revived and followed. It was summer, after all - and why should this one be any different?

Day after day, as the weeks began to slide by, Candace and Phineas and Ferb would find themselves up to some scheme or another, blatantly disregarding the laws of physics, and just generally having fun.

The third day of vacation marked the day of Danville's first intense heat wave - turning the air into a stifling blanket of suffocating stillness. It was just  _too hot_  to do anything outside. So they hadn't - instead having constructing a superhighway through the center of the earth's core - all the way to China. Well, it was _technically_ outside, but the pumped air conditioning so far down in the bowels of the Earth was more than enough to keep them cool.

Jeremy had eventually shown up, as he had promised on summer's first evening. Candace had wanted to take him for a joyride down the world's longest continuous straight road - which also happened to be the world's longest and deepest tunnel, as well as most powerful and efficient geothermal energy generator. All that molten lava at the Earth's core had to pumped out and stored  _somewhere_  while they laid the concrete and steel of the tunnel.

But he had pled claustrophobia, something that surprised her, because when had he ever been frightened of anything? And their tunnel was in no way small - it was wide enough for a jet airliner to have flown safely through, and the roof was high enough to enclose a three hundred story building. Still, he'd insisted that he was perfectly content to remain at the tunnel's entrance, and look down into it. She was privately a bit disappointed, since her responsibilities as air traffic control for the tunnel's slightly-cramped airspace meant that she wasn't able to spend much time with him, until Linda's errands for the day were over - and the tunnel was evacuated. And just in time - a bird flying by happened to hit one of the struts of the magma containment container, knocking it over and spilling the copious amounts of molten rock back into the tunnel, completely filling it back up.

All in all, it had been a successful day - though she and Phineas and Ferb later talked and agreed that it had needed some sort of local gravitational warper, to avoid the need for the long slopes at each end.

As the heatwave died out, and temperatures slowly sank back into more typical levels, the days continued flying by.

The next Friday Candace and Stacy spent out at the Super Duper Mega Superstore - on one of the rare occasions when Candace  _wasn't_  acting as officer of her and her brother's corporation:  _Carpe Diem Inc_. Not having the corporation's vast budget behind her meant that most shopping that day had actually more or less been browsing, but it was still an enjoyable time. Jeremy stopped by as well, and she overheard him mention in passing to Stacy that he "preferred to do more things down to Earth to pass the time, you know?"

Which was true - Candace did too. Even after after all her trips, deep space still wasn't entirely her jam. Solid ground on Earth, or on another planet, even, was certainly preferred.

Saturday was an early day for everyone - especially her. Having spent the entire day without building, the early symptoms of withdrawals were beginning to show through, though they quickly dissipated when faced with the latest project: super slow shoes. The name was actually a bit counter-intuitive. When equipped, they slowed everything  _except_  the wearer - that 'everything' extending to even the constant pulsations of space-time itself. It was easy to beat a beam of light somewhere when the speed of light was less than three feet over the course of a whole minute - indeed, they were only able to breathe and see thanks to some complex quantum wizardry.

It was almost like teleportation from the outside, only appearing the tiniest delayed compared to actual instantaneous travel, due to the delay between activating the shoes, and deactivating them. From the inside - well, it was less convenient, of course, but a whole lot cooler. So much opportunity to see things! Candace was able to take a casual stroll through the streets to the next neighborhood over, all the way to Jeremy's house, all in what appeared to be less than half a second to anyone not wearing the special shoes.

He'd said that he'd be at home all day, cleaning out the garage again, (for an astrophysicist or whatever, his dad apparently brought home a  _lot_  of junk!). She still hadn't convinced him to just let her fire up the old robot-making machine in the garage - it would have made the task so much easier. Okay, he was probably right that she shouldn't do that. They did have that nasty tendency to rebel sometimes. It was the coffee that did it, really it was.

By the time she got to his house, everything seemed to be neatly put away and organized, at least as far as she could see. With the entire universe around her moving almost twenty four billion times slower than normal, it proved remarkably easy to entirely stuff her phone's impressive memory banks with pictures of herself and Jeremy - and just Jeremy. He wouldn't even realize it! Granted, some of the pictures were at various stages of unusability, what with the strange facial expressions people made when moving twenty four billion times slower than normal. Still, most of them were cute, especially considering the subject matter. She could have basically spent infinite time there, but after a half-hour of wandering through the silent and still hallways and rooms, she at last grew bored and returned to the backyard where her brothers and their friends would be waiting.

And even  _with_  super-slow (or speed, depending on how you looked at it) shoes, the day still wore on, until at last a brightly glowing purple beam from the sky struck the yard, turning the shoes into assorted meatball sandwiches - all of which smelled to be about a week old. The fact that their feet were in them probably didn't help that much either. There was loud whiny whirring all around the small group in the yard, as the universe rapidly returned to its normal pace.

"Ooh! Meatball subs!" Buford declared, snatching up the scattered sandwiches.

"Buford, you  _do_  realize that not only were those sandwiches  _shoes_  two minutes ago, that we were  _literally wearing them as such after they transformed_?!" Baljeet objected.

"More for me!" he exclaimed, stuffing the food into his pockets, much to the horror of everyone else in the yard.

"Eugh. I'm going to go throw up. And wash off this ... meatball sauce - then probably throw up again," Candace said, turning and walking into the house, leaving reddish spaghetti sauce footprints in her wake. That was going to be a pain to get out of the carpet - it was doubtful the Force would bother removing something so mundane. Well, that'd be a boring chore. Maybe that robot machine in the garage would come useful this summer after all. Risk of robot apocalypse and all.

A few days after that, the weather took a turn for the worse, and one of Danville's rare but vicious summer storms struck in full force. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled along in the sky. Tons of water were unceremoniously dumped out as the heavens opened, flooding the streets under huge puddles, splattering vast quantities of mud all over the city. The usual flow of traffic in the streets slowed tremendously as people took to shelter of home or business to escape the onslaught of the skies.

The torrential weather stamped out any chance to go outside - the mud alone was two inches thick in the backyard, and the grass wasn't even visible underneath the oceanic puddles collecting out there. Stacy still showed up at the house, as she always did, in utter spite of the weather. Still, even her umbrella hadn't saved her from getting absolutely drenched by the cold rain. The powerful gusts of wind had about torn the flimsy metal and fabric to shreds, turning it inside out and tearing at the edges of the lightweight contraption.

Candace called Jeremy, and after a long conversation, he said he'd stop on over when the rain lightened up. Which was fair, she supposed. Just because Stacy had been so foolhardy as to brave one of the Tri-State Area's notorious summer downpours, didn't mean that everyone had to. Still, it would have been nice to have him over too.

Stacy frowned, shivering, as Candace relayed the call back to her.

"Are you sure that you two are still good?" she asked.

But Candace  _was_  sure.

"What're you talking about?" she scoffed. "If anything was wrong, I'd be the  _first_  to know - it's just raining  _really_  hard right now. Not everyone wants to walk halfway across town through the rain, when it's just as easy to wait till it lets up. You know it'll probably only be a day or so anyway."

A moment later, the doorbell rang, and Isabella showed up, similarly soaked to the bone, even from the short walk across the street.

"I had no idea it was raining so hard," she complained. "Heeey Phineas. Whatcha doin'?"

"Hey, Isabella," he greeted from the living room floor. "Ferb and I are souping up our TV to project in glorious 5-D! We thought it would be cool to watch movies today, because of the terrible weather. As rainy days go, it seems a pretty good way to spend one."

"Wait wait wait!" Candace interrupted, hastily abandoning the mudroom to return to the living room. "Don't tell me you're building an extra-dimensional projector without me! Hang on, let me get in there. You can't me leave me out of this."

"Oh, that's nice..." Isabella's voice drifted off dreamily. "I brought an old movie that we can watch too. What a...  _ahem_... coincidence that is."

"Oh!" Stacy said. " _Grievance_. I saw that movie once, a long time ago. I was right at the end of it when - nothing happened." She stopped to clear her throat. "It's pretty scary though."

"Yeah," Isabella agreed. "It is. And - uh - I'd be too scared to watch it on my own, so I figured that we could watch here, where it'll not be so scary, because there'll be Ph - people around."

"Riiight." Stacy shook her head, the sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Sounds like a plan."

"Well," Phineas jutted in from his place working at the television set, "I'm not really one for scary movies. But, I suppose I can forgo that in favor of good company."

"Yeah?!" Isabella exclaimed, her voice so high that it almost squeaked. "I mean - yeah. Thanks, Phineas."

_Relax, Isabella_. Candace said to herself.  _You know well enough that Phineas means 'good company' as a blanket statement including everyone in this room._

"So - how scary  _is_  this anyway?" she asked aloud. She kind of had to agree with Phineas - scary movies weren't something she normally enjoyed. But perhaps an exception could be made. How bad could it be with the five of them anyway?

Stacy merely shrugged, and a bolt of lightning momentarily filled the room with blinding light. "You'll have to wait and see." That was... a statement that somehow managed to be both comforting and nerve-wracking.

With the three of them working together, while Stacy and Isabella watched from the couch, the 5-D projector was soon brought up to a functional state.

"Awesome," Phineas announced, putting his screw gun neatly back inside his tool box. "Ferb, Candace, I know what we're going to do for the rest of the day."

A loud rumble of thunder, accompanied by the sound of a fresh wave of rain pounding down on the roof with renewed vigor, accentuated his words.

And as she expected, Isabella wasted no time firmly planting herself on the couch in between Phineas and Ferb. Well, if Isabella thought that that was all it was going to take to get through Phineas's obliviousness, then she had another thing coming.

Just thirty minutes into the movie, Candace decided on two things. One: that  _Grievance_  was actually pretty freaking  _terrifying_ , and Two: that she was never going to watch another horror movie in 5-D again.

And if the movie's jump scares weren't bad enough, there was also the thunder and lightning outside, which seemingly loved to go off at the most inopportune times, provoking jumps out of everyone, even Ferb at times.

_Nightmares for everyone tonight_ , she thought.

Isabella, of course, took full advantage of the movie's creepy atmosphere to worm her way as close as possible to Phineas, who innocently took her movements to mean that she needed more room to sit, and crushed himself up against Candace in an effort to make her more room. As the movie wore on, Ferb, who had been sitting on Isabella's other side, got progressively more and more room, until he had almost half the couch to himself, while everyone else was squished into the other half.

"Uh, Candace?" Stacy asked. "Can I have some room? I'm like, half-sitting on the arm already, and you keep pushing me over. I  _am_  allowed to sit on the couch, right?"

"Yeah, sorry," she apologized. "Phineas, can you give me some room? We're practically sitting on each other's laps. Spread out a bit, would you?"

"Huh?" he replied. "Oh - uh, Isabella, can you scoot over a bit? There's tons of room next to Ferb and we've got none."

"Sure," she sighed, her voice tipped with the slightest hint of disappointment. There was a brief sound of bodies sliding across the fabric of the couch as they all shifted back to the left. Then, with a burst of frantic movement and a shout from the television, along with a sudden clap of thunder as icing on the cake, everyone screamed, and Candace could feel the cycle beginning again.

When the movie finally ended two hours later (what right had a horror movie for being so long?), the rain had slowed somewhat, but not stopped. If only they were so lucky. Summer storms of this sort would often stretch for hours into the night before finally raining themselves out, but it had at least lessened to decent extent.

Enough that Stacy snagged up her umbrella from the mudroom and took her leave, saying that it'd better if she left a bit early if it meant that she'd be able to get home while the rain was still light and the wind wasn't so brutal.

Isabella lingered some time longer, as they sat around and watched old reruns of  _Horse in a Bookcase_ , slowly coming down from the horror-movie-high. Everything was better (or more freakishly terrifying) in 5-D, even old TV show reruns. Eventually Isabella too stood up, stretched and declared that it was probably time for her to head home as well.

"I had a great time, Phineas," she said, smiling flirtatiously. "That movie was pretty good, too. Now I can tell the other Fireside Girls that I  _did_  watch it, after all."

"You certainly did!" Phineas replied. "And no one will be able take that, barring retroactive editing of the time stream, of course."

"Yeah," Isabella responded. "Yeah. I guess I'll be going then? ... across the street?"

She paused for an inordinate length of time, and Ferb and Candace both exchanged significant glances.

"...in the rain?" she added.

"Oh!" Phineas said. "You're worried about the rain? I can fix that for you." He jumped up and ran out of the room.

"Yeah..." Isabella mumbled quietly. "I was worried about the ...  _rain_."

Phineas quickly returned, holding a large gray backpack with what appeared to be a satellite dish mounted on top. Candace recognized the device. They'd built it a few months ago, originally for use in the snow, though it was pretty all-purpose and could handle hail, sleet, and rain as well. It was...

"This is our modern take on an old classic - the umbrella 2!" Phineas announced. "It uses a combination of super-intelligent AI and a powerful laser to vaporize any precipitation that comes with in a five-foot radius of itself with turned on. Runs on pizzazium infinionite, too, so will last forever and forever, in all probability."

Now Candace was kicking herself for not getting ahold of it first and giving it to Stacy. Oh, well.

"...Oh. Right - uh, thanks?" Isabella shrugged slightly and reached out for the gadget. "This is... cool. Can you - oh! - can you come show me how to use it?"

"Oh, don't worry," Phineas beamed. "It's super simple. You just put on like a normal backpack, like so - I know it's a bit heavy, bear in mind that there  _is_ a mini fission reactor inside there - and then just press this button-"

"Why don't you show me outside?" Isabella interrupted.

"Well, I mean, I don't know wh-" he tried to say, before she cut him off again.

"Come on, pleeeeease!" she pleaded. "That way we can ... make sure it works!"

Phineas squinted slightly, shrugged his shoulders. "Alright." he relented. "Let's go."

He led the way the way towards the mudroom and Candace heard the front door open, then shut again moments later. For a moment, she and Ferb sat silently on the couch, listening to the rain patter onto the roof.

"That was ... subtle," she said at last.

Another long, still minute persisted in the living room.

"Like an incendiary device at an oil refinery," he replied quietly.

Candace smiled, then stood up and stretched. Just then, the front door banged open again, and a sopping wet Phineas sloshed his way inside.

"That didn't go well," he remarked. "Mom's home, by the way. And  _I_ need to go get a change of clothes." He walked past and and into the living room, dripping water all the way.

Linda had followed him inside, hanging onto an assortment of large paper bags plastered with various store logos.

"What was Phineas doing out in the rain with Isabella?" she asked Candace. "Is there - something going on between them?"

The idea almost made Candace burst out laughing. "Oh, Mom," she said. "Trust me, of all the things they could have been doing, it was anything,  _anything_ , but that." She shook her head and breathed deeply.

"What other reason would there be for him to be randomly out in the rain?" Linda persisted. "As long as they're keeping it all above board, I don't have a problem with it. I don't know if you've noticed, but Isabella's had it _pretty_  bad for him for a long while."

"Phineas's never been below the board his whole life," Candace replied. "He probably doesn't even know what the board  _looks like_."

Linda looked thoughtful for just a second, then shrugged and walked into the kitchen.

Candace had another chuckle at her brother's expense, and returned to the living room, intent on finding some method of entertainment to wile away the final few hours of the gloomy afternoon.

"Hey...whoaaAAGH!" ... _thump_.

"Oh - there you are, Perry," she said, sitting dazedly on the floor. "Don't you just come out of nowhere, hm? I swear you move around like some secret spy or something."

The animal looked at her dumbly with it's glazed, wall-eyed stare.

She narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, get out of here, you meat bag." she retorted, pulling herself back to her feet.

Almost as he'd understood her, the platypus skittered off down the hallway, disappearing into the downstairs bathroom.

Maybe when Phineas came back downstairs they could play some board games or something - Skiddley Whiffers, of course. She was always open to tacking another win or two onto her streak, which was currently at seventy-three (and counting.) It'd been a good three  _months_  since she'd wound up losing a game of that - and that one was totally a fluke, totally. It was all in the way you played the field. A complete fluke.

The melancholy atmosphere that lingered over the whole city could not penetrate into the warm, cozy air of the house. The lights glowed bright and warm through the windows into the prematurely darkened afternoon, illuminating the swampy backyard with a brilliant orange sheen.

Late that night, around midnight, the storm finally breathed its last breath, and coughed up its last little bit of moisture. Crackling thunder rolled violently in the death throes of the thunderclouds, as they gradually dissipated into nothingness.

The sun dawned the next day over a cloudless sky, it's warm rays driving away the last traces of fog from the recent storm. The grass in the backyard sponged beneath their feet, and little puddles of water ran out from their footsteps, squeezed from the damp dirt by the weight of being trodden upon.

The base of the tree was still covered in water, submerged beneath a puddle that had taken cover in the shade to avoid the sun's evaporating light.

"So, what should we do today?" Phineas asked, carefully stepping around a sizeable pool of mud.

Candace merely stared at her phone, frowning deeply as she read the message on it's screen.

_(1 message from Jeremy 7:33 AM)_

_Hey, I've got to work again today. Schedules changed, and somebody called in sick, and they needed somebody to cover his shift. Sorry about such short notice. Will still try to make it over tonight - but may not make it till my day off tomorrow._

"You okay?" Phineas asked, his voice slightly lowered.

"No - it's fine." she said. "It's - well, nothing. I'll be fine."

Phineas looked at her for a split second more, before taking her at her word and slipping back into his pattern. Candace sometimes wished that she could do that - simply dismissing worries and care so flippantly.

So, this was going to be another day without Jeremy being around? There had been far too many of those already, and they were already two weeks deep into summer vacation. The fact nagged at the inside of her mind. During the school year long stretches of time without the company of the other weren't such a big deal, she'd reasoned. School was school, after all. But now... it worked to unsettle her.

"That's a great idea! Ferb, Candace, I know what we're going to do today!" Phineas exclaimed, snapping her out of her thoughts. What conversation had gone on underneath her nose?

"What?"

"We're going to re-open the  _Chez Platypus_!" he explained patiently. "But, this time, we're gonna open more than one. We can put them up all over the city! We'll have a central system for mass-production and distribution of enormous quantities of food."

"Oh." She thought about it for a second. "Actually, I like the sound of that. We could - yeah. Should I get ahold of the robot machine, you know, for staff?"

"Hey, Phineas, whatcha doin'?" Isabella asked, suddenly behind Candace.

"We're going to open an internationally franchised mega-corporation!" he said. "It'll be the best one ever."

"Oh, really? That's so cool!" She stopped to gesture back at the group of teenaged girls following her around. "The Fireside Girls and I are trying to get our  _Successful_   _Franchise Owner_ patches this week. There's going to be a big convention next month, and I'd bet that no other troops will have that one."

"I mean, I doubt the other troops will have the  _Revolutionize Modern Understanding of Quantum Physics_  patch, either," Phineas answered. "But, still, you're welcome to help. Candace, looks like we won't need the machine after all."

"Oh. Mark my words, I'm gonna find some way to use this thing before the month is up," Candace joked. "I spend all that time fixing it, and now we never use it."

"All that time?" Isabella asked. "Didn't it take you, like, twenty minutes?"

Candace shrugged. "It's the principle of the thing."

Phineas was already on the phone. "Yes, yes I am." he told the person on the other end.

Candace smiled. Enough worrying for now - it was time for the day to begin in earnest. Well, maybe a little worrying wouldn't hurt. But at least there'd be something to prevent it from taking first place in her mind.

The afternoon dissolved into a flurry of activity. Their first restaurant was an immediate hit, and before long, there was another down the road. Then another - two blocks away. Then another and another, until there was one every corner in the Tri-State Area. Their advertising budget ballooned with the expected success, and the brightly painted advertisements served only to rake in more business. Lines stretched out the door and down into the streets. When the Fireside Girls alone were no longer able to keep up with the constantly growing demand for service, her wish was at last fulfilled. The robot machine was turned on, and an endless army of androids was printed from the thin air, only just barely keeping pace with the demand.

Here's hoping they didn't rebel this time.

As Candace was doing her best to keep pace with the constant flurry of people coming in and out, she saw someone that she did  _not_  expect sitting alone at one of the tables in the far corner of the store.

_What is he doing here?_ , she thought, hurrying over.

"Jeremy?" she asked. "What are you doing here? I thought you had to work?"

He raised his eyebrows, obviously surprised to see her too. "I , ah, I do. Sort of." he replied. "But they told everybody to take a long lunch and come back in later in the afternoon. There's only one person there right now, and they're just there to hold down the fort. So we don't have to technically 'close' and all that. I mean, we had only one customer all morning - but it's to be expected. I mean... you know." He flipped his hand around at the inside of the busy restaurant.

She paused briefly. Well, that explained it. And it was a good thing! Now, they could hang out all the rest of day! And he was off tomorrow, too! It was just perfect. Maybe this was the turning point, where they finally got past whatever had been choking up their relationship. She waved over one of the robots scattered around the restaurant and gave it her order taker and apron, then pulled out a chair and sat down across the table from him.

"Sooooo, do you want to do anything?" she asked. "I can show you our factory! It's at home in the backyard - and it's actually really cool. There's this - "

"I can't," he said. "I'm really sorry - I'm sure it's nice, but I _do_ have to work today - just not this afternoon. They're expecting me back in soon as - later this afternoon. Plus, there's going to be a staff meeting this evening."

"Oh?" she asked. "What happened?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I think it has to do with the general manager turning in her two week's notice this morning, and we need someone to replace her. I think I've got a pretty good shot at it, actually. I've been working there for six years straight now - way longer than almost everybody else. This is the first real opening to move up. It'd be great too - it's an actual full-time salaried position, which would be  _amazing_."

"And you wouldn't have to work as much, right?" she eagerly said. That  _would_  be great. More time together was always better.

"Well, I'd actually have to work  _more_ , though it'd be different hours." he answered.

_What?_

"It'd be more hours, and - even better - they'd be  _regular_ hours, which is  _way_  more convenient." he continued, leaning back in his chair. "I'd get every Sunday off and rotating Saturdays. The general manager doesn't have to go into work until eleven . I'd be able to have nice leisurely mornings, get to work right before the lunch rush, and then I'd get off at seven-thirty."

"Seven-thirty?" she echoed. "Like seven-thirty in the evening? That's ... "

"Well, it's an eight hour day." he said. "But like I said, full-time position. And no more minimum wage. Honestly, if I actually get it, I'd be pretty much set for working through college. And maybe even further - our last manager had her job for thirty-three years. Not really a glamorous thing, exactly, but it can pay bills."

_But seven-thirty in the evening. And eleven in the morning._  Thinking about made her feel sick to her stomach.  _And every day. Every day - except Sundays and rotating Saturdays._

Still, she should be happy for him. He was happy and thus she should be as well. So what if - if he'd never be get to hang around and see all the things they did? They were usually only just getting started by eleven - and barring a few odd cases, the Mysterious Force would never let anything hang around till past seven. And then there was the fact that, well, what would she do when school started again? Jeremy'd graduated, but she still hadn't reached that and... well, the way he was describing it made it sound as if they were  _never_ going to be able to see each other. 

Once a  _week_? That was... devastating. This was practically the most important thing in her life right now. How was she supposed to handle  _this_?

Was it bad that deep down in her subconscious, there was a tiny voice wishing ever so hard that he  _didn't_  get this job? Of course it was, and she hated that such a thing was inside her at all.

Still...

"That's ... great," she answered lamely after a long pause. The noisy surroundings of the busy restaurant all around seemed to fade silently into the background. "Do you  _really_  think you'll get it?" Maybe he was just exaggerating his chances. That could be it, really. And everything could continue on being the way it was now - perfectly.

He looked up suddenly and stared at her across the table, and it was all she could do to not wither into pieces under his gaze. What was going on? Something in his eyes seemed ... off. And it made her even more uncomfortable.

"I ... mean, yeah?" he finally said, a shade quieter than before. "I've got the seniority. And she handed in her notice today - so it's not like there'll be any changes today. Or tomorrow for that matter."

Candace swallowed hard. This was a good thing for him - and these second thoughts she was having were so strange. She loved him - and wanted him to get what he wanted. But to get it at such great cost of time?

_It's not like I'll never see him again_ , she told herself.  _You're being so self-centered right now, I can't believe it._

But the thought was hollow.

They'd be able to spend time together in the evenings and on weekends still. That should be good enough - right? It wouldn't - wouldn't be  _that_  bad … would it? She swallowed again, her imagination running away with idea. She became aware of him staring into her, obviously expecting some sort of response.

"Y-yeah," she said, tripping slightly over the word. "Whatever. That's nice. Yeah. Um... yeah."

He frowned again. "I ... yeah. It  _is_  nice, really, isn't it? I kinda thought you'd be more - you know, I don't know, supportive?"

Her eyes widened. Could he tell that she was internally struggling with the idea?! No, that would never do! He deserved no less than her full support, and if she couldn't give that to him  _honestly_ , well, then the alternative would just have to do.

"No no no!" she rushed out. "It's great! It's awesome! It's the best thing ever..." her voice trailed away for a moment. "You  _are_  coming over tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, I'll be over," he answered. "It'll be sometime around … "

"Seven?" she interrupted. "That's when we start - and you should totally be there for the whole day. Or maybe six? That way we can hang out some before? Or five? I can get up early and we can go somewhere! Or fo-"

He held up his hand and shook his head slightly. "I can't be there at four - before you even say that." he continued. "I was thinking along the lines of nine. I'll not miss much that way - and there'll be plenty of time for you to give me a grand tour of whatever you're doing."

Nine? That was like - half the day gone already, or something. Why couldn't it be earlier? It wasn't like he had anything else important to do - as far as she knew, at least. Nine o'clock was just so … late. But the look in his eyes made her bite back her objections and swallow them.

_At least he_ is _coming over_ , she thought.  _Just focus on that for now._

That was important to remember. If he was going to get this - this new job ... well, she'd need to make every second of the remaining time count. And maybe, just maybe, she'd come up with some way to stop - no, that was selfish, and she was ashamed to even have entertained those thoughts at all.

Still, they were there, and wouldn't be banished so easily.

"I guess." she relented. "I mean - yeah, that'll work. It's good - great even. I'll see you then."

"Okay. Yeah - okay." He leaned back in chair again, rocking it on the back two legs.

Candace's phone vibrated in her pocket, and her hand shot down to snatch it out. It was a text - from Phineas.

_(1 message from Phineas 4:06 PM)_

_Just letting you know that our manufacturing plant just got trampled into dust by some kid riding on a herd of llamas. There's no new stock coming in - probably time to start shuttering the shops. See you in a bit. :)_

So the Force had struck again. Well, it was to be expected.

Standing up and pushing her chair, she reached into her other pocket and pulled out a shiny remote control. Clearing her throat, she shouted over the hubbub of the restaurant.

"WE'RE OUT OF EVERYTHING! SORRY FOLKS, WE'RE CLOSING. SEE YOU ALL LATER."

A chorus of groans and drawn-out 'oh's drifted up the crowd, as they slowly stood up and began filing out the door.

She punched a digit code into the remote, and the result was immediate. Metal barriers slid down over the windows, and the lights in the roof went out one by one. The kitchen equipment fizzled out, and the robot staff powered down. The brightly colored logos painted on the walls and signs out front peeled away from the walls and fell to the floor in a crumpled ball of glossy paperboard.

"Well, guess it's my time to get back to work then," Jeremy said, standing up and following her out of the restaurant.

"Already?" she complained.

He shrugged and smiled apologetically. "Not something I've got a lot of control over." he offered. She knew he was right, of course. Still, though. It always seemed like he was running off to the Slushy Burger at the most inconvenient times.

"Well, see you tomorrow," he tossed over his shoulder as he hurried off down the street to the bus stop.

"Wait - - -" she called out, but the loud pneumatic hissing of a city bus that was suddenly just  _there_ , because why not, drowned out her voice.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, feeling somewhat exasperated at the whole situation. There had to be something that she could do to fix this. Time with Jeremy shouldn't be spent awkwardly fumbling around with stupid things like - like -

_The fact that he's very likely not going to be free for any afternoons - for an indefinite period of time?_

She roughly jabbed at her phone, entering the coordinates of home into her phone's navigator. Brilliant purple light flickered around her, as the device warped space and time to instantly transport her home. Sure enough, the massive food production system was gone - apparently razed into the dirt by a stray stampede of South American animals. Well, that was the way things went.

At least they had tomorrow for sure. And she'd come up with something - somehow - to do something about this whole thing. There had to be something she could do.

Even despite that resolve, she still internally cowered from what her subconscious truly wanted. That was just selfish - even thinking it was completely out of the question.

...Right?


	3. Academy

The evening after the food chain experiment seemed to drag on and on. Jeremy was off tomorrow! He was going to be able to spend the whole afternoon at the house. It was going to be great. But the time between then and now just couldn't go by fast enough. Thus it was that Candace decided to retreat to bed almost an entire hour earlier than normal - hoping that at least in sleep the hours would quickly pass.

Right at the very first crack of dawn, when only the faintest hints of red and orange were tinting the deep-purpley black sky, she woke.

_Nine._  was her first thought.  _He's coming over at nine!_

Turning over in bed, she saw, much to her dismay, that it was all of 5:30.  _5:30_! There were still three and a half  _long_  hours between now and nine.

_Maybe going to bed so early last night wasn't such a good idea after all._

She pulled the bedcovers up over her head and lay still underneath them, desperately hoping for sleep to return.

She lay there until the space under the blankets grew uncomfortably warm. Tossing them off, she stared up the sloped roof, mindlessly counting the popcorn scattered across it. Growing bored, she picked up her phone from the nightstand, opened her camera and wiled away the hours trawling through her vast archive of photographs of Jeremy - a large portion of which had been taken on the day she and her brothers had invented those slow shoes. At last, she reached the end of the expansive album and let the phone fall back onto her bed. Her room looked to be considerably brighter now than it had been. Perhaps this wait wouldn't be so bad after all. She rolled over and looked at her clock.

It was 5:33.

Agh! Time seemed to have ground to a halt. It was almost like wearing the slow shoes again. She sat up disgustedly, swinging herself off the bed and walking over to the window. Looking out at the backyard, her heart sank at the sight of the stars still visible in sky - and at the noticeable lack of any sun breaching the distant horizon.

What was there to do? No one else in the house would be up for another hour at least. She returned to her bedside and picked up her phone from the place it had fallen.

_are you awake?!_ she texted Stacy. A long minute passed and the message remained unread.

Was everyone else in the entire world asleep? She set the phone back on the nightstand and paced endlessly around the floorspace in the bedroom, burning a pattern into the carpeted floor. Only the glowing digits of her alarm clock, along with whatever feeble light was struggling in the window, provided any sort of illumination for the room.

Maybe she should go downstairs or something - there might be more to do down there. Dressing quickly in the dim light, she stepped over to her bedroom door and gently tried the knob, gingerly pulling the door open.

The rest of the house was perfectly quiet and still, with only the subtle humming of the air conditioning unit providing any sort of background noise. She was hungry for breakfast, but didn't feel like making any cereal this early in the morning. It wouldn't have been  _hard_ , exactly, but some combination of laziness and wanting to be quiet for her sleeping family kept her from it.

Instead, she crept down the stairs, carefully skipping the squeaky board three steps from the bottom, and padded through the living room, unlocking the sliding glass door. Opening it just a hair, she sucked in her stomach and slipped through, out into the backyard. It was still dark out, but the stars were beginning to fade as the sky slowly grew brighter.

Pulling the door shut behind her, she walked over to the tree and plopped herself down at the base of its trunk. Exhaling deeply, she settled farther back against its rough bark, and stared, eyes unseeing, up at the house.

Her phone suddenly vibrated loudly in her pocket, and she quickly shifted to the side to dig it out. At last, someone was up - someone she could talk with to pass the hours until it was time for her and her brothers' project, and till Jeremy's arrival. Why did he have to wait till nine to come? It really sucked waiting that late. She was sure he used to come over earlier - back when he also didn't work so much.

Maybe it was Jeremy saying he'd be over earlier, or maybe Stacy had miraculously woken up. Looking down at it, she was immediately disappointed.

_(1 new message from Tri-State Central Bank 5:36 AM)_

_Your loan payment of $659,400,000,000,000 is about to…(swipe for more)_

Candace sighed and sat her phone down on the grass next to her. Not even the birds were awake yet. The slightest of breezes stirred the branches above her, and a single leaf drifted down and landed squarely on top of her head. Then even the breeze ceased, and a pure and perfect silence settled down over the yard.

It was a good time to think - and a good time to worry, if there was such a thing. How was she supposed to deal with this new job that Jeremy was very likely to be getting in a mere two weeks? It would basically guarantee that he would never be able to be around during the afternoon - which, of course, would immediately preclude any involvement in her projects.

And why did everything repeatedly boil down to her projects? That was an issue all its own. Even if they were kind of a big deal, they shouldn't be - and  _weren't_ , she swore - the deciding factor on anything of this nature. Still, it was disheartening to think of the person she loved not being able to participate in an activity she enjoyed so much. Didn't he see how much she wanted him to be able to enjoy the projects the same way she did?

She had no doubt that he  _did_ see it. He was too perfect to let anything of that sort slip by. There must be  _something_  that she was doing that was giving him the wrong impression. But what could that be?

The answer to all of these questions was no doubt as simple as it was unpleasant.

Jeremy wasn't going out of his way to get this job. It was merely an excellent opportunity, and one that he was fully justified in taking. Candace knew well enough that one couldn't rely on their parents for support forever. He needed, at some point, to get a job that was capable of supporting him through college. Then he could finally settle down on his career of choice - which he had told her was to go into marketing for some company. And his career would need to support her, too, and their two future children, Xavier and Amanda, and the house that Candace just  _knew_  they were going to have one day.

Still, the idea of him actually working a full-time job was unsettling to her. It would eat up so much of the already-dwindling time they were able spend together  _now_ , before they were married and living together. That wouldn't be able to take place for another four or five years, according to  _The Plan_ , which allowed for dating through college and then marriage as soon as possible after graduation.

It was all laid out in her head - and it was going to be beautiful. She knew that the later parts of  _The Plan_  necessitated a job of some sort, but she wished there was some way that those parts could come to pass without it - that all the changes it laid out could somehow happen - without actually  _changing_  anything.

Suddenly, the silence of the early morning was shattered into bits by the fence gate being thrust open wildly and banging back against the fence. She sat up straighter against the tree, startled by the sudden noise, as Baljeet burst into the yard. What on earth was he doing here so early?

"Ooooh, I am so happy!" he announced, his already high voice peaking even higher. "Behold! Feast your eyes upon this!" And he dangled a piece of paper in front of Candace's nose.

"What are you doing here?" Candace asked, reaching up and grabbing the paper out of his hand. "And what is this?"

"That, my fine friend, is the first test from  _NSSA_ , the most advanced and distinguished correspondence-summer school in the country, and perhaps the globe!" He paused a beat to take a breath. "Just this morning I received the electronic mail with this document enclosed. And behold! My score - is  _perfect_."

She ran her eyes briefly over the test results in her hand. As Baljeet had said, they were indeed perfect.

"Well, congratulations," she replied, handing him the paper back.

He took it and looked around at the yard. "You know, I was so excited that I thought immediately to come here and share my joy. It now occurs to me that no one is awake - appropriate at this early hour. Yet you are. Why is that? If you do not mind me asking?"

For a moment, she didn't answer. Well, the time _would_ pass faster with someone to talk to, even if that person was, of all people, Baljeet Tjinder. Still, she wasn't about to tell  _him_  about her worries over Jeremy and their future together and  _The Plan_. That information was for her eyes only - and perhaps Stacy's, depending on the day.

"Oh you know," she finally answered. "Just woke up early today, I guess." She paused, casting about for some topic with which to start up a conversation. Well, if there was one way on Earth to provoke him into long-winded speech it would definitely be something about his schooling. "Soooooo... correspondence summer school?"

Baljeet glanced up from his paper and raised an eyebrow, but, as expected, shrugged slightly and answered anyway.

"Oh, yes!" he said with enthusiasm. "I so enjoy learning. Taking an almost four month long break from school would be unbearable. I would never be able to stand for it! So, I take as many summer courses as I can get into, which is quite a considerable amount. Many are of quite a remedial level, but I take them anyway. You can never be too prepared for college, you know, and ... "

She gradually tuned out as he continued.

"...and in short, those are my top twelve reasons for partaking in continued academic stimulation throughout the summer. I could go on at length about the remaining thirty-eight reasons, but I will digress."

Something in her head started working, something she couldn't quite lay her finger on. She came down out of her reverie, and returned her full attention back to him. "That was ... interesting." She barely stifled a yawn. "I guess I'm now well-informed on the benefits of additional schooling."

"Yes, you most certainly are!" he responded. "It  _is_  fascinating, is it not?"

"Way." The yawn would be stifled no longer, and obstinately forced its way out. "Way interesting."

Baljeet nodded vigorously. "It will also serve to make college and university much easier," he continued. "Due to the fact that I have been working on that level for six years now."

"Sounds like you could just test through college right now," Candace pointed out.

_Wait a minute. Testing through college._ The Plan _specifies 'after college', but it doesn't mention any minimum time limit on that._

"Oh, yes, I am quite sure that that is within the realm of possibility. However, I wish to take more time before doing so, to more fully enjoy my carefree teenage years."

"By taking tons of extra schoolwork?" she asked. "Sounds ... lovely."

He said something in reply, but she wasn't listening - the gears in her brain were turning, and an idea began taking shape.

Then it came. Phineas was, more often than not, the idea-generating person of their little group. But now, right now, this idea was  _hers_. And an excellent one it was. She could have sworn that the heavens opened, and an angelic choir harmonized around her, as she suddenly sat bolt-upright. This was it! This was the way to solve the issues around Jeremy's potential new job, and also a way to kick-start  _The Plan_  into motion as quickly and smoothly as possible.

"Baljeet!" she exclaimed, scrambling to her feet. "I know what we're going to do today!"

"...okay?" he answered, glancing around. "Should I now - I mean, it  _is_  pattern - I will. Where is Perry?"

But she didn't answer, running across the yard and pulling open the sliding glass door. Glancing up at the clock hanging on the living room wall, she saw that it was six twenty-three. Phineas and Ferb had been waking at six-thirty ever since Phineas had turned fourteen two years ago, but this would do. Hastily clambering up the stairs, she darted down the upstairs hallway and paused briefly at her brothers' door.

Eh, they'd forgive her just this once. Swinging the door open, she stepped inside and over to Phineas's bed.

"Phineas! Phineas! Wake up!" she shook him. He always had been a light sleeper, and so was roused easily.

"Mmuuuuuhh..." he groaned, rolling over in the bed. "Wh - what's going on? Candace?"

"Yes, yes, it's me," she rushed out. "Come on! You've got to get up - I know what we're going to do today, and we've only got two and a half hours to do it."

"Wh - what time is it?" he asked drowsily, propping himself up in bed.

"It's like six twenty-five - only like five minutes before you'd normally get up anyway."

He glanced at his nightstand, checking his clock, then stretched and yawned loudly. "Alright." He shook his head quickly and rubbed his eyes. "I'm awake now. Just give me a second to wake Ferb, and get dressed, and we'll come downstairs." He paused and grinned, the traces of sleep in his face and voice becoming more faint by the moment. "I can't wait to see what idea you've got. If it was worth waking up early, I'll bet it's awesome."

"Yeah, yeah it is, she replied. "Just come on! I'll be waiting downstairs."

"Alright, we're coming."

She retreated out of the room and back down the stairs into the living room. Through the sliding glass door, which she had left open in her haste, she could see Baljeet still waiting in the backyard.

"I suppose that I am going to take my leave now," he said when he saw her standing in the doorway. "I shall return at a later hour, as per our normal routine." He paused awkwardly. "Our conversation was... pleasant."

She nodded half-heartedly, watching as he disappeared out of the fence gate and down the sidewalk leading away. Couldn't Phineas and Ferb hurry up? And ... oh, no. They'd want to eat breakfast too. The thought of food re-awakened her own hunger.

Well, maybe a  _quick_  breakfast would be okay. They'd have to hurry, though - and hurry like no tomorrow. She pulled the glass door shut and walked across the living and into the kitchen. Pulling down three bowls, she poured cereal and milk into each, and dug around in the kitchen drawer for three scoops.

Just as she found the required silverware, Phineas and Ferb appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Good early morning!" Phineas greeted.

"Good morning," she responded, sliding two of the bowls across the kitchen table towards them. "I made breakfast already. Let's hurry."

Breakfast slid by quickly in the space of another twenty or so minutes. Not much time, really, but felt like an eternity. One way or another, however, it ended at last, and Candace found herself standing out in the backyard with her brothers, bathed in the bright golden glow of the morning sun.

"So, whatcha got?" Phineas asked.

"Okay." Candace took a breath. "What we should do today is this: build a  _schoolhouse_!"

She paused and watched her brothers closely for their reaction. Ferb was stoic as ever, but she could see the idea rattling around in Phineas' brain. It was time to expand on it a little bit.

"Like, what's something you're good at?" she asked Phineas. "How long have you been able to fly a jet airliner? Five years?"

"Candace, it's been  _twelve_ years." He reached down and produced his wallet, opening it to display the license for everyone to see. "Or at least it will, in a month and a half - right when I turn sixteen."

"Even better!" she exclaimed. "I'll assume that you're already fully licensed to act as a flight instructor?"

"I am." He nodded. "Among other things."

"So wouldn't it be cool to spend a day teaching people how to fly planes or any of the other stuff we can do?"

Phineas stood still for one more moment, processing the thought. Then he smiled. "That sounds... awesome. Candace, Ferb, I know what we're going to do today."

"That's what I like to hear," she said, becoming elated with this success. "Now, come on! Let's get this thing built and opened before Jeremy gets here!"

Phineas and Ferb glanced at each other.

"When will the stuff be here?" Phineas asked. The question took her aback. What about the long-standing promise they held between themselves - that any one of them was to never break out the corporate expense cards without the approval of the other two? The banks of Danville had grown incredibly lenient on loans to their corporation over time, but it only took one mistake to send that all down the drain.

"I haven't ordered anything yet," she answered. "You know I wouldn't, without getting your guys' opinion first. I call them right now, though."

"Sounds good." He  grinned again and gave a thumbs up. "Let's get all quirky worky up in here."

The Super Duper Mega Superstore's special seven-minute delivery guarantee came in handy once again, as it had done so many times in the past. It wasn't long at all before the tons and tons of bricks and mortar, miles of wiring, and thousands of pounds of concrete and steel they ordered had arrived, and were neatly piled in the backyard. Isabella arrived as promptly as one would expect, with Buford and Baljeet straggling in behind.

The vast quantities of construction materials were rapidly appropriated from their respective resting points, and put together. A broad foundation was poured, and a runway that ran alongside the length of the building. Thick masonry walls were erected, and the interior was paneled off and furnished appropriately. The school building stood three stories tall when finished, with a tall tower jutting from the roof for another seventy feet - air traffic control. It was, among other things, a flight school, after all.

A brightly painted banner hung over the wide double doors that marked the entrance of the red-brick building.  _Flynn-Fletcher Academy of Everything! Except crocheting - that's boring._

On the dot of eight-thirty, the doors to the academy were thrown open, and a crowd of assorted folk from around the city streamed in. There were people looking to learn to fly, or to dance, or to do calculus, or something else - but, as the name implied, the academy had something for all them. Thankfully, no one showed looking for crocheting classes, though the well-marked sign probably would have discouraged such a thing anyway.

Phineas and Ferb and Isabella and Baljeet and Buford all scattered to various parts of the building, doing one thing or the other. Candace instead remained by the doors, waiting impatiently for Jeremy to show up. The sound of jet engines roared overhead, and a small plane flew in wide circles above the building. Still she waited. It wouldn't be much longer now, just a few more minutes. She pulled out her phone and double-checked the time. _8_ _:44 AM_. The day was still so young, and yet it seemed to have lasted forever and ever. The sun was now high overhead, and the coolness of the morning had been replaced by a creeping warmth, that might soon develop into full-on heat.

The waiting was torturous. The awning arching over the entrance was angled at perfectly to let the late morning sun beat down on the front porch where she was waiting. She briefly contemplated the idea of retreating inside, but rejected it, wanting to see Jeremy the instant that he walked through the fence gate. They had a limited time with the school house today - just until Linda returned from her errands in the afternoon. She had get this done before the Mysterious Force whiffed it away.

She paced in a tight pattern on the porch, going round and round and round. Would it ever end? Would relief ever come? Would she be waiting here for …

"Hey, Candace."

She jerked up in the direction of his voice. He'd somehow snuck up on her, and was standing just three feet away.

"I'm here," he repeated. "Whatcha got there?"

"It's a school." Candace replied, grabbing his hand and pulling him along after her. "Come on! We've got a lot to cover and only a few hours to do it."

It had been a good few years since she'd bodily dragged anyone anywhere, but the skill is not one easily forgotten once learned. It's all in the back - and it helped that Jeremy wasn't  _resisting_  per se, instead just not moving  _fast_  enough.

At last she reached the room she'd had in mind - the one she'd specially designed this morning when helping to erect the building in the first place. It was mostly a normal room when it came to the construction, but the stuff inside it set it apart from pretty much all the other rooms in the building.

There was a large table set up in the middle of the floor, next to which sat a black office chair. Large stacks of paper were piled on the table, and there was a small can holding a handful of writing implements. A large cardboard box sat open next to the table.

"Sit here," Candace said, pointing at the chair. "And let's get started before time gets away from us too much."

"Alright, then," Jeremy replied, humoring her. He sat on the chair and spun around until he was facing the table. "What're we doing?"

"Today, I'm going to teach you," she said. " _Everything._  Don't worry, it isn't all that hard. This way, you don't have to … well, just because, okay?" Something inside her told her that it might be better if she didn't actually out and out say what her true motivation for this effort was. Not that it mattered - this would solve all the problems anyway. "So, look at this paper," she resumed, sliding the top sheet off the stack and handing it to him.

"Two plus two equals four," he read from the piece. "Two minus two equals zero. The square root of two rounded to six digits is 1.41421. Two squared is four."

He sat the paper back down the table and raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, that's all correct." he said. "So, uh, what about it?"

"Those are the basic tenets of math," she replied. "From which basically all math can extended. It's slightly more complex than that, of course, but it'll do for now." She reached over to the stack of papers and pulled off the next one, laying it down in front of him. "So, let's see if you can do some basic calculations," she continued. "It's all based on those four tenets - and so shouldn't be too terribly hard to figure out. Just, you know, don't get intimidated by the way it looks."

He sighed slightly. "...okay. Let's see it."

She laid the paper down and watched as he picked it up. Almost immediately, his eyes widened, and his eyebrows shot up his forehead.

"Candace - I can hardly tell how to read this. What's with all the lines? This looks way beyond calculus stuff."

"i to the power of the fraction of 2 to the power of 6 over 16 all times the integral of 1 plus the square root of 2 to the power of the limit of sin (2r) over 2 as r approaches infinity where the integral is from 1 to 3 all times the derivative of the integral of t dx from x to 1." she rattled off by heart, remembering the equation from when she had written it earlier that morning. It had been specifically designed to be easily solved - what with simplifying down to a whole number answer and all.

He leaned back in the chair and sighed. "Candace, I don't even know where to  _begin_  with that." She started to say something in protest, but he held up his hand and continued. "Look, I  _know_  that you can do that. And I'm sure that you already figured out the answer. And that's great, and it's fine. But that doesn't mean that I can do it too. You know that, right?"

She paused and stared into his face for a moment.

"No!" she suddenly exclaimed. "You  _can_! I mean - I couldn't either, at first! Remember? And you've got to! If you can get this, then everything will be perfect!  _The Plan_  will go off without a hitch and you won't have to get …" her speech trailed off. Something told her that spilling her innermost desires  _here_ , about  _this_  particular subject, would not help.

"Candace, you can't just throw stuff like this at somebody and expect them to be able to do it. You've got to, like, work up to it, or something."

"But Phineas! And Ferb! They've being doing since, well, forever! And Baljeet can kinda do it too," she replied. "Come on! I know you can. Just like, focus or something." Memories of that time four years ago when  _she'd_  been the one struggling to decipher advanced math were heavily distorted and fragmented, both by scars in the space-time continuum itself and by the tumultuous and potentially unhealthy mental state she had been in when that old mental block had finally come tumbling down. But come down it had - in one way or another.

"Candace, just  _focusing_  isn't gonna help me. I don't know - and that information isn't going to come from thin air."

She hesitated for just moment.

"But you know the four basic tenets!" she protested. Maybe he just needed some encouragement or something. "Look, it's easy, I'll show you!"

She snatched up a pencil and pulled the paper closer to herself. Her hand flew across the paper, sketching out the steps - well, the major ones at least, he could figure out the easy stuff - to finish the equation. Jeremy sat back and stared off into space as the empty part of the sheet was rapidly filled with figures and calculations.

"...see?" she said, setting the pencil back down. "The answer is ten. Told you it was easy."

He just seemed to stare blankly.

This was not going well. But there was still hope. Maybe math wasn't his thing. That was okay - maybe he would be more like Ferb, more of an engineer than a mathematician. That would be okay too. With a single motion, she swept the papers and pencils onto the floor.

"Forget that." she said. "Let's do something else instead." She reached into the large box sitting next to the table and produced a pile of wooden planks, letting them clatter into an unorganized pile in front of him.

"Candace…" he started, but she didn't let him finish. He wouldn't understand until afterwards, maybe. Then he would be grateful - and it would be worth it. She pulled out a toolbox and sat it down next to the wood.

"Here." she directed. "Make something."

"Candace, I…"

"Come ooooon! It'll be worth it, I promise! Just please, try! You've got to try!"

He sighed and opened the toolbox, pulling out the pliers within.

_Pliers? What in the..._

"No, not those." she quickly snatched them away and handed him a hammer instead, chucking the pliers over her shoulder onto the floor behind them. "Just, like, picture something. Anything. You can do it - you've  _got_  to do it."

He picked up some of the wood blocks and slowly pulled them towards himself. She cringed as he pulled out a nail that wasn't nearly as long as the length he needed, and twitched slightly at the unsteady, unsure strokes with which he tried to beat it into the boards. Ten minutes of watching his painfully slow craftsmanship later, he held up his creation. She stared.

It was just a board - with two other boards nailed onto it. One was jutting out from top end, and one from the bottom end, making it look like some sort of crude sideways 'n'. The boards sticking out weren't straight or even. As he held it upright, they sagged downwards slightly, victim of nails too short to fasten them securely to the anchor. There was no denying it - he had  _no_  idea what he was doing.

Even as she stared at it, the bottommost part suddenly fell off, banging onto the floor with a clatter, landing dangerously close to her feet.

"So?" he asked, smiling slightly. "What'd you think?"

Despite her best efforts to the contrary, she felt frustration boiling up inside her. Why was this so  _hard_? Maybe she should get Phineas down here. He'd know what to do. No, that was stupid.

"Bigger!" she repeated. "If you just think  _bigger_ , then you'll get it! Here, let me show you." He had to out of the mindset of attempting what is possible - he had to learn that only by attempting the impossible could you ever achieve it.

She took his hammer and rolled the office chair out of the way. The pieces of wood, which had been resistant when under his control, yielded effortlessly beneath her hands. A cacophony of sounds erupted as she rapidly assembled the boards into something truly worthy of awe.

When done, she stepped back proudly, hardly noticing how much time she'd spent carving it out.

"That's cool." he complimented, looking up at the towering creation. "It's … an interesting design choice. But cool."

No! Why couldn't he get it? This wasn't about her - it was about him! It was about  _them_! If she could get this to work, then everything could go back to being the way it had been for so long. It hadn't been perfect, but it had been good enough, and it had  _definitely_  been better than what would happen if she were to fail.

"It is cool," she said. "Now imagine if you could do it too? Wouldn't that be cooler? Here, try again." she offered the tools to him.

But he held up his hands and wouldn't take them back, shaking his head.

"Candace, what is this about?" he asked. "I'd think it'd be obvious by now that no one but you and your brothers can do this … stuff." He reached out and took the hammer and handsaw from her, setting them down on the table.

She tried to think some way to respond - some way that  _wouldn't_  immediately shatter whatever he thought of her.

"I … I don't know," she lied. "I just - um…" the falsehood died in her throat. What else was there to say?

He knitted his eyebrows together. "You do realize that I don't mind, right?"

"What?" the question caught her entirely off guard. He smiled slightly, scooting the office chair away from the table.

"Look." he explained. "It's nice of you to be worried about me. I appreciate it very much, in fact. But you can put your mind at ease. I'm perfectly content being ordinary."

_Wait, what?! Was he saying …_

"I think that the stuff that you and brothers do is really, really cool. But look at me - I mean, I've got claustrophobia, of all things. I get motion sickness. I work at a fast-food restaurant. Just a boring, old, normal person - I don't think I could handle your gift for myself." He flashed her a smile, further cementing the building unease in the pit of her stomach. "And you can believe me when I say that I'm happy this way. You don't need to worry about it. I've been like this for my whole life up until now, and I'd not mind if it continued for the rest of it. Which it probably will."

She swallowed hard. The fact that he was normal, and that for pretty much her entire family, that was the farthest thing from the truth had always been self-evident. But it'd never been a big source of contention for her. It had been just the way things were, more or less, and not something that came up very often, if at all. And even she had admitted to herself once or twice that it was better this way.

But now … what was this? He was normal, that much was fact. But - but  _The Plan_! How could they date through college, and then get married, and then move into their own house, and have their boy and girl if  _he wanted to be normal for the rest of life?_

That was a tall order, and one Candace knew that she'd never be able to pay. The Mysterious Force alone would have been enough to ensure that no household she stayed in for long could maintain the label 'normal', and the Force was just the tip of the iceberg.

"You get what I mean?" he asked, when she didn't answer.

"Yes," she said, smiling so hard her face hurt. "I get it."

He leaned back in his chair and let out a long, low breath.

She couldn't do anything but stare. These last two weeks before his new job started already had their own fair share of worries - and now this? It was almost too much. How long had he felt this way? And never said anything of it? More importantly, how had she not  _realized_ he felt this way? He was too perfect to ever keep something from her - he have have just thought she was able to see this for herself, not realizing how blind she was sometimes. 

_The Plan_  was suddenly on shaky ground, threatened with imminent collapse, and it was all her fault. She had to stabilize it somehow, in some way. It was the future - their future! She'd seen it with her own eyes during time travel - as unreliable as time machines were at predicting the course of events. If she let it collapse now, what would she do? Her life would be over. There would be no coming back.

All around them, the building was suddenly seized with violent convulsions. It shook and trembled, emitting all sorts of disturbing groans.

Jeremy stood up and took a step towards the door, but Candace grabbed the back of his shirt and made him stop.

"Don't!" she said. "Just let the Force do what it wants. It won't hurt us when it's after the building. It'd be best if we stay put."

"Uh…" He winced at a particularly drawn out squeak coming the rafters. "If you say so."

She nodded. All around them, the walls began trembling. Then, slowly but surely, they began turning white - and losing their substance. She watched as the brick and mortar and paint slowly morphed from solid lines and rigid angles to loose masses of semi-transparent cloudy whiteness. It spread down the walls, and across the floor, reaching the place on which they were standing. Their feet sank gently down through the floorboards during the transformation, coming to rest on the grassy ground that'd been hidden beneath the foundation of the school. For a moment, the steamy mass held the shape of the school - then, with an almost audible whooshing, it all collapsed down on itself.

Next to her, Jeremy cowered down instinctively as the huge cloud of fog sank down from atop of them, but she was confident in the Force. It wasn't after them - so they'd be fine. Now, if it  _was_ after them, for some reason, then yeah, there'd be a reason to be afraid. But there was no reason the Force _would_ come after them in the first place.

 The fog flowed down all around, filling the backyard in an opaque mass of moisture that settled on them, weighing down her clothes with its dampness. Then, a sudden gust of wind from somewhere whipped through the yard in a flurry, shaking leaves from the tree, and pushing all the fog over the fence and out of sight entirely, leaving the yard bare. With it gone, she could see her brothers and their friends standing around in seemingly random places - presumably wherever they'd been in the building when the Force had struck.

"Hey, Candace!" Phineas said from next to the fence gate. "There you are." He reached up and pushed his goggles up off his eyes.

It was at that moment that Linda pushed open the sliding glass door.

"Hey, everybody," she greeted. "Who wants some pie?"

"Hi, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher." Isabella waved. "I'd love some - if you don't mind."

Linda smiled. "That's why I make it - though I will say that it goes a lot faster nowadays than it used to."

Everyone aside from Candace and Jeremy quickly abandoned the yard in favor of the house. She might have invited him in, but his recent implications were still echoing in her ears.

"That was pretty fun," he said at last. "Even if all I did was fail at woodworking and complex math and watch you carve a giant statue of me."

It was meant as a joke, perhaps, but she couldn't hear it as one.

"Yeah," she echoed dully, staring at the ground. "Yeah."

"So …" he continued awkwardly. "I , uh, wow. Can you believe it's two o'clock already? I can't believe we spent four hours in that school. Surely didn't seem that long. I mean... you know, I did watch you make a twelve foot... eh, never mind."

She looked up at him. What was he getting at?

"Well, I think I'm gonna head off," he decided. "I told Coltrane I'd go over to his place today too. You can come if you want."

But she didn't want. Today's plan had been an unmitigated disaster - there was no way around that. But, despite all the odds being stacked against her, she still refused to give up - and remained determined to come out on top. After all, this was her entire future on the line here. There were still two weeks - make that one week and six days now - to come up with something. That wasn't a lot of time. But it  _was_  time, if just a little.

And when the universe is your plaything, a little time can do just as well.


	4. Trampoline

The bright red digits on the clock read 6:29 AM, and all in the bedroom was still. Not a soul was stirring - even the platypus was fast asleep, curled up cozily on the blankets.

Another handful of seconds disappeared into the past, and the red lights ever so subtly shifted around on the clock face.

6:30 AM.

Though there was no audible alarm, the force of habit was easily strong enough. The change that resulted was immediate. It was as if a switch had been flicked in Phineas' brain, instantly catapulting him from the depths of sleep, and into the warm embrace of the bright, new day.

He sat up in bed and rubbed his palms on his eyes. Morning was here! This could possibly be the best day ever. Shoving aside the blanket, he climbed out of bed and stepped over to the bedroom window, pulling on the drawstring. The blinds shot up to the roof, flooding the bedroom with early-morning sunlight.

Ferb shifted slightly in bed, rolling over to avoid the bright light streaming in the window. But the slight movement was enough to indicate that he was awake.

"Good morning!" Phineas announced. "How you feeling? Up for adventure today?"

Ferb reached out a hand and propped himself up in bed.

_I'm awake_. His face said.  _Aren't those two synonymous?_

Phineas grinned. "Pretty much." He crossed the room and pulled open the dresser drawer. Picking the clothes laying on top, he quickly changed from pajamas into an outfit more fitting for the upcoming day's activities - whatever they were going to be.

"Come on!" he said, throwing open the bedroom door and walking out into the hallway. "Let's go eat! I don't know about you, but I'm starved! Perry? Come on!" The platypus leapt down from the bed and followed him out.

As expected, the other doors in the hall were still firmly shut. Candace wouldn't be up for another good twenty minutes at least. Aside from yesterday, when  _she'd_ actually wound up waking Phineas and Ferb. That had been unusual, but not entirely unpleasant. And it  _had_  been a cool idea she'd had. However, it appeared that yesterday was going to remain the exception rather than supplant the rule.

Reaching the base of the stairs, he rounded the corner into the kitchen, stopping only briefly to pour a lump of platypus food into Perry's plastic bowl.

Ferb appeared just a few moments later in the kitchen doorway.

"Oh, look." Phineas remarked, hunting through the refrigerator. "There's still a piece of pie from yesterday left over. Blueberries. Yum."

He pulled the milk out and set it on the table with a  _thump._  Of all the fancy breakfasts one could have, there was something about ordinary cereal-and-milk that just rubbed him right. Producing the box of  _Smile!_  flakes from the shelf, he sat about to preparing the meal.

"Three bowls … three scoops … three helpings of cereal ... and three …" he stalled out. "Say, Ferb, what do you think the equivalent term to 'helping' would be for liquids? I suppose I could just say 'bowls-worth'. Three  _bowls-worth_  of milk. Yeah, that'll work."

Ferb shrugged and nodded, taking one of the three bowls, and sitting down in his chair.

A telltale squeak from the living room alerted them that someone was using the stairs - or at least using the third step from the bottom. Phineas glanced across the kitchen, but saw that Perry was still sleeping soundly the small bed next to the food dish. That left pretty much only one option.

"Candace?" he asked. A moment later, she rounded the corner.

"Hey." She pulled out her chair and collapsing into a heap on it.

"Good morning!" Phineas continued excitedly. "We're just eating breakfast. The weather looks great today." He slid the third bowl across the table in her general direction.

"Mmm." she responded. Well, she wasn't feeling talkative today. That was fine - Phineas was certain he could handle the conversation well enough for the both of them. There would be no long, boring silences on his watch.

"So, anybody got ideas for today?" he asked, taking another bite of the cereal. Silence reigned as he chewed and swallowed. "Man, it's like there's two of you in here, Ferb." He paused for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, anyway, you know what might be cool? We could go skydiving - and not like regular skydiving either. Imagine skydiving from the edge of outer…"

"Actually," Candace suddenly spoke up.

Phineas stopped. "Hmm?"

She shifted in her seat, and pulled the napkin dispenser over to herself from the middle of the table. "Actually, would it alright with you guys if I … just kinda … did my own thing?"

What? Well, this was … interesting. Oh, it might even better than low earth orbit skydiving.

"Do what?" he asked. "We can all help! It'll be fun. Whatcha got planned?"

Candace generally wasn't the one to come up with ideas - it normally fell to him. Which was great, of course, because he never ran out of ones to give. Still - her ideas were often just as (if not more) cool as his. Take yesterday for example. Opening an academy of sorts? That had been  _great._

She held the napkin dispenser out in front of herself, as if trying to take shelter behind it. That wouldn't work unless she was much smaller than she was, of course. Maybe one day they should rebuild some sort of shrinking device. There was still so much they hadn't done when shrunk the first time. He mentally filed the idea away for another time. Right now, her idea was getting priority place, as they pretty much always did.

"It's nothing. I just want to do - something. By myself. It's important. I mean - it's not important. Except … it's not."

Not important? That wasn't a problem. After all, plenty of the things they didn't weren't  _technically_  important. That didn't make them any less enjoyable.

"We can still help," he repeated. "I'm sure we can find some way to make whatever it is fun! I mean, what _can't_ be made better by adding a few rocket engines and gravitation manipulators?"

But she shook her head. "No. I've gotta do this by myself. Because … just because, okay?"

Phineas furrowed his forehead and looked over at Ferb. Ferb looked back at him. This was … unusual, to say the least. It kinda broke the routine a bit - not that he had a problem with that - but something about it wasn't sitting right. Still, she was his sister, and who was he to tell her what she could or couldn't do?

"Well," he decided after a moment's thought. "I guess if that's what you want, we shouldn't try to stop you."

It was sort of confusing, really. What could she possibly be doing that she wanted be alone? If they worked together, not only would whatever it was get done faster, but - well, they'd be working  _together_. And that was a big part of summer too - spending time with each other.

_Ah, well._  He reasoned.  _It's only fair that she get to if she wants. And maybe she'll show us what it as after she finishes._

Now there was a thought. Whatever it was, it was doubtless going to be cool. Now he was almost looking forwards to seeing it. Surprises were nice.

His scoop scraped on the bottom of the bowl of milk with a discordant sound. Jumping up, he quickly deposited the dishes into the washer.

"I'm finished!" he announced. "Let's do this! The others will be over soon."

Once again, there was no response. Phineas faltered briefly. It really  _was_  like having two Ferbs, wasn't it? Candace remained sprawled into the chair, unmoving, her cereal untouched. Ferb stood and followed from the kitchen and through the house. First to the bathroom: taking turns utilizing the sink to brush their teeth and doing whatever else was necessary to prepare for the day. It wasn't many more minutes before they found themselves in the backyard, underneath the familiar shade of the single tree that had seen so much over it's lifetime. It was quieter than normal out here, Phineas thought, with just himself to do the talking. Not that Ferb wasn't just as interesting a conversationalist as anyone, but it was just… different from the animated rambles that he could get into with Candace.

But enough about that! The morning wouldn't last forever. It was high time that they got down to business.

"So, low-earth-orbit skydiving?" he asked. "How does that sound to you?"

Of course, there was no audible response, but Ferb's face was reply enough.

"That's what I figured." He grinned. "Ferb, Candace, I know what we're going to do today!"

Ferb smiled slightly, then pulled out a roll of blank blue paper. Oh yes! It was design time. Getting to low-earth orbit wasn't just going to  _happen_. Phineas narrowed his eyes in thought.

_Hmm. Getting to low earth orbit. Teleportation? - warping of physical space? - rocket boosters? No, with Candace using half the budget for her own project, we'll have to be more economical about - wait, I've got it!_

He pulled a well-worn pencil from his pocket and settled down on the grass next to Ferb, eagerly beginning the sketch of the grand design.

Almost immediately after Linda left for the Squat n' Stitch at Googolplex, Candace appropriated the garage for herself, disappearing inside and shutting the door behind herself. A truck showed up shortly later, carrying a considerable pile of supplies. She reappeared to sign for the shipment, then vanished again with her boxes. A few minutes later, Phineas could hear the sound of a high-energy arc welder of some sort being used in there. What was she doing? He couldn't wait for the surprise to be revealed. Ooooh! Maybe it had something to do with his birthday. Granted, that was a  _bit_  of a stretch, considering how far away it was, but it was still the closest birthday to today - apart from Candace's own, of course. But you couldn't make yourself a surprise.

_Unless you used a memory-wiper_. He thought.  _Then you could._

Maybe that would a cool thing to do one day. They could …

The fence gate squeaked loudly behind him, cutting off the train of thought. That thing would definitely need some oil someday. Or maybe not - it was almost like one of those electronic chimes in stores, announcing people coming in or out.

"Hey, Phineas. Whatcha doin'?"

"Oh, hey Isabella!" he greeted, turning around. She was the first one to show up - as usual, considering her house was right across the street. "We're going to go skydiving today!"

"Skydiving?" she asked. "That's awfully … ordinary?" she questioned. Then her eyes opened wide. "I mean, it sounds great! We should ride a tandem harness  _tooogether_. That would be so… nice."

"Oh, you don't need a tandem harness." He laughed. "After last year and those aliens, you're more than ready to fly solo. Besides, it's not normal skydiving anyway."

"Oh," Isabella said, eyes briefly dropping to the ground. Was there something there? He checked, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. "Yeah. I guess. So, what do you mean by 'not normal' anyway?"

Now  _this_  was the question he'd been waiting all morning for! He caught Ferb's eye for a moment and smiled in anticipation.

"We're gonna be skydiving from low Earth orbit!" he exclaimed. "From a height of twelve hundred miles. It'll be the longest free fall  _ever_."

"Wow," Isabella replied, the enthusiasm returning to her voice.

"It will be!" he continued, feeling himself get more excited as he talked. "Free fall alone is gonna take ten minutes. We'll be wearing special suits to make sure we don't burn up on atmosphere re-entry - like meteors - and to make it  _even better_ , Ferb and I are gonna set up a special super-strong trampoline so we won't even need parachutes."

"We just faaaaaall, and then ...  _boing_?" Isabella seemed interested now. "That sounds fun."

Phineas nodded. It  _did_  sound fun. Of course it did, that was the whole reason it had been decided on in the first place. "It's just a matter of getting a vehicle capable of transporting us that high," he said. "Obviously, an traditional airplane won't do, because there's no atmosphere there. So, to that end, Ferb and I designed  _this_ -!"

He reached up and grabbed ahold of a string dangling down from the tree above them. It came easily, pulling along with it a large hanging slide, on which was drawn an intricate blueprint for a rocket-powered version of a virtual elevator.

Virtual elevators were very cool - the whole 'elevator platform with no physical cable or housing' look made it somewhat resemble a floating platform. Well, that's pretty much what they are, actually. Giant floating platforms - that, in this case, have miniature rocket engines attached to the underside. Which made this one in particular was especially cool. He and Ferb had spent the better part of the time after breakfast coming up with this particular design.

"Say…" Isabella asked from behind him. "Where's Pe - I mean, where's _Candace_? Isn't she usually out here?"

For a split second, Phineas caught himself wondering just  _where_  she was, if not in the backyard right next to them. The next instant he remembered, of course. Old habits die hard, and all that.

"She's in the garage," he answered. "Doing … something. She said she wanted to do it by herself." He lowered his voice confidentially, and continued in a whisper. " _I think it's a surprise of some sort._ "

Even as he was saying so, he caught the tail end of a strange glance from Ferb out the corner of his eye.

"For what?" Isabella asked. "And for who?"

"Well," he started to explain. But it was useless - the next instant he was cut off by another squeak and the sound of a voice at the fence gate.

"Did I just hear a  _for who_?" Baljeet exclaimed. "Are you aware that that is grammatically incorrect? The correct version of your phrase would be  _for whom_. I feel as if I have said this many times before."

"Hey Baljeet!" Phineas said brightly, forgetting about Candace's absence for the moment. It wasn't a huge deal anyway - she'd be back this afternoon, when she revealed whatever grand thing she was creating in secret. It was something to look forward to. Although, it'd be only fair for him to at least ask her once more before they lifted off - if only to make doubly sure - that she actually was okay with missing out on skydiving. It was gonna be lot of fun.

"Hello, friends," Baljeet replied, nodding. "What have you planned for this day's activity?"

Phineas grinned again. This was truly one of the best parts of summer. He took a breath and launched once more into explanation.

"Well, you see, today we're gonna go skydiving! But not any  _normal_  skydiving…"

The sun climbed higher into the sky as the small group worked busily constructing the twelve hundred mile tall elevator - and also erecting the world's largest trampoline. The trampoline had to be big and stretchy enough to safely catch a person after they'd been freefalling for over a thousand miles, and so it towered over the neighborhood of Arbor Estates, casting a dark shadow over the whole street. If wasn't for the Mysterious Force's basically guaranteed removal of it before the day was up, Phineas might have worried about the plant life beneath. But the trees and grass and bushes could easily survive a mere few hours without the sun. And as for  _people_ 's houses, well, they had rigged up a powerful network of ultra-bright electric bulbs that lit up the area under the trampoline as bright as day above. The artificial light was bit harsher, a bit colder, and a bit whiter than sunlight; perhaps, but again, it'd only be a few hours before the Force stepped in anyway, making cleanup a snap.

It wasn't long before they were done. The background music for the construction montage gradually faded away into silence as they put the finishing touches on their creation. The virtual elevator towered up, up, and away into the clouds, until it disappeared into blueness of the sky. The giant trampoline creaked in the breeze, reaching at least forty stories into the air.

"It's done!" Isabella exclaimed. "Let's break it in for a first jump!"

"Yes, let's!" Phineas agreed. He pressed the button on the elevator, and with a  _ding!,_  the doors slid open, revealing the metal platform behind - the one destined to carry them all a thousand miles into the sky.

Everyone quickly slid into the lightweight anti-disintegration jackets hanging on a rack nearby. But there was still one more thing he had to take care of before he could make the jump in good conscience.

"Wait one second for me, guys," Phineas said. "I'll be right back."

"Hurry!" Buford brusquely responded. "I ain't waitin' long."

"I will!" he promised, turning and darting across the yard towards the garage.

Well, the loud hissing sound of the arc welder was gone. He paused to listen for a moment, but heard nothing. Grabbing ahold of the doorknob, he swung it inwards and peered inside. There was a table set up in the middle of the floor, on which was sitting some complex conglomerate of wires and metal parts. Candace was on a stool, hunched over the device, fiddling with its insides. Sparks were flying away from whatever she was doing. What he could make out of the internal workings of the contraption resembled some sort of mass information transfer device, but he couldn't guess at what kind exactly. He'd need to see more of it to ascertain that.

_Oh, I probably shouldn't be peeking_. He realized.  _If it is a surprise of some sort._

He took a step back outside and loudly knocked to announce his presence. It seemed to startle Candace. She let out a small yelp and almost dropped whatever it was she'd been holding.

"Candace?" he called out, stepping inside again.

"What?!" she exclaimed, stumbling away from the stool, almost upsetting it in her haste.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked. "Can I see?"

"Phineas!" she exclaimed, her voice peaking sharply. "Wh-? Oh, uh, nothing!"

She struggled to stand in front of the table, trying her best to cover as much of it as possible with her body. Now that she'd moved, he could make out the easily-recognizable shape of two large metal helmets, linked together with a thick black wire. Oooh. It looked really cool. What did they do? There were so many possibilities. Well, she obviously was trying to hide it from him - so he wasn't going to spoil the surprise for himself.

"I just wanted to ask if you want to come skydiving with us," he said. "We're gonna drop from low earth orbit onto a -"

"I can't."

"-a giant trampo- what?" he stopped mid-sentence.

"I - I can't," she repeated.

Oh. That was, truth be told, a bit disappointing. It happened every so often, of course, but every time it did, the day just never felt as complete as the ones when she did stay around, which were, thankfully, the vast majority.

"Look, I - I'm sorry I didn't say something before," she said. "I - I mean, I did, but - it's just - I've got to do this instead. It's - it's - yeah. Sorry."

Well, longer warning would have been nice, but he supposed that it was alright. So she'd miss skydiving. Alright, that was kind of … disappointing. But there'd be tomorrow, and all the days after. This would just be one of  _those_  days - days where they were just one person short. They happened - nothing to get worried about. Especially not when he didn't want to ruin something as cool as low earth orbit skydiving was going to be.

"What  _are_  you doing?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him. If it actually turned out to be surprise, then she could just not answer, he reasoned. And it surely must be something important, if she was opting to miss something as cool as orbital skydiving over it. Normally, she'd only turn up absent over outings with Stacy, or much less commonly, Jeremy. And Stacy was pretty good about confining her schedules to the later parts of the afternoon anyway, so there was rarely a conflict between the two.

"Nothing!" she insisted. "It's, ah, it's … " she paused for an inordinate length of time before relenting. "It's... a neural information transfer headset."

Phineas blinked. Neural information transfer? That was pretty cool in its own right. You stuck on a helmet, and somebody else stuck on the matching one, and with a bit of computer wizardry,  _bada-bing,_   _bada-boom!_ , you could instantly transfer knowledge and memories from one person to another - enabling effortless learning of things, for instance.

Of course, it was a bit more limited than that when it came to practical use. If you tried to transfer too much completely new information, the receiving brain would reject it - and the rejection would often be violent to the point of frying the delicate internal components of the helmets, and giving both people wearing the helmets a healthy electric shock that would keep their hair standing on end for hours to come. That was just the way things went, though. Still, it was great for learning a new recipe or something, provided someone else did first. Just because you couldn't spontaneously insert an entire encyclopedia's worth of information into someone's head was no reason to knock the technology.

"Cool," he replied. "What's it for?"

Candace made a weird face. "It's for ... nothing," she said. "Yeah. Ahem."

"Oh."

Well, if she'd told him what it was - that kind of ruined the chance that it was a surprise, didn't it? Eh, maybe the surprise would be in how it was going to be used or something. He still wished that she'd come skydiving with them, but - well, asking one more time couldn't hurt, could it? He just wanted to be thorough.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" he asked. "I've already made an anti-disintegration suit for you, and the trampoline can easily handle your extra weight."

She made another face, looking at him, then out the garage door, then back at the NIT headsets sitting on the table. "I - I just can't right now," she finally said. "Maybe later - if the Force hasn't done whatever with it."

That seemed unlikely to Phineas, but it was certainly better than a flat-out negative. Oh! Maybe if he helped her now, she'd get done faster. That way, there'd be time to try it before the Force did anything. He might miss the first jump, but that'd be fine.

"You want any help? If we worked on it together, I'm sure -"

"No." This time, the response was immediate. "Look, I've got to get back to work. I don't have much time before - I just don't have much time, okay?" She seemed strangely scattered. Perhaps the NIT helmets were being stubborn. It  _was_  a pretty delicate technology. Maybe he should try something with it someday.

"Alright," he relented. "I'll do my best to keep the skydiving stuff around as long as I can - but you know the Force."

She didn't answer, instead sitting back down on the stool, and returning to work on the headsets.

Phineas watched her for a just a moment, then turned away. Shutting the garage door behind him, he walked back across the yard to the waiting elevator shaft. The thick padding of the anti-disintegration suit hung heavily across him, and he shook himself to readjust its weight across his shoulders.

"Yo, there you are!" Buford remarked loudly, as he approached the platform. "You haven't gone and died after all. What took ya' so long, anyway?"

"Oh, just asking Candace if she wanted to come too." He caught Ferb's eye from where he was standing on the back of elevator platform.

_Well?_  The look seemed to say. Phineas shook his head slightly. It should have been fairly obvious that she wasn't coming, after all, he  _had_  come back from the garage alone.

But it was nothing to worry about. Besides, he had something else to focus on right now - namely, free-falling for twelve hundred miles. It was going to be the coolest thing ever, and there'd be no heavy parachute packs to worry about or mess with.

He smiled broadly and stepped onto the platform, pressing the button that would begin the process of sending them far into the sky. The day was yet young - it was time to live it to its fullest.

The ride up to the destination height of twelve hundred miles took ten and half minutes on its own - even though the elevator platform had been traveling a good hundred miles an hour on it's way up.

The air quality at that height basically nil. It was a good thing that they brought along some handy breathing apparatuses.

"Are you guys even ready for this?" Phineas asked excitedly. He peered over the edge of the platform into the blueness beneath. The cloud layer almost completely obscured the view of the ground below - and what part of the ground that  _could_  be seen more closely resembled a misty haze than a solid surface. Not that the ground beneath was solid right now anyway - thanks to the world's largest trampoline stretched out down there, ready to safely catch anything that fell onto it.

"Well? What're you waiting on?" Buford declared. "Let's go! I came to bounce off a big trampoline, not stand in an elevator with a bunch of nerds all day."

Phineas grinned. "Absolutely nothing!" He took a huge step off the edge of the platform. Instantly the relative peaceful atmosphere around was gone. The wind whipped furiously past him as he plummeted through the air. Rolling in the air, he saw that his friends had already followed suit - joining him on the skydive of epic proportions.

Without the floating platform close by to judge distance and speed on, there was next to no way to perceive just how fast he was actually going. In fact, if it were not for the air buffeting his face and body on its way past, the sensation would have been like floating - not at all dissimilar to the way you feel in outer space, or somewhere else where gravity has either been temporarily disabled or doesn't apply in general.

And it felt completely awesome.

They fell for almost ten minutes - passing two orbital satellites, one flying saucer, and three jet airliners on the way down. Then it was time for the second part of the plan - the trampoline. The massive sheet of netting deformed heavily on impact, then rebound with shocking power, sending them soaring back up into the air. And up and down and up and down and up and down - a loop of what may as well have been flight. It was  _amazing_. This had indeed turned out to be a great idea.

It took the better part of several hours before all of their momentum from the original jump was finally spent, and the height of massive trampoline's recoil was no higher than that of a ordinary trampoline - bouncing them lower and lower, until at last it had all but ceased. The sun had long since peaked past the point of noon, and was beginning the long, slow slide down the afternoon side of the sky.

"Wow!" Phineas exclaimed, sliding the trampoline's long exit slide. It twisted and turned down all forty stories of height, gently depositing them back on the ground of the backyard. "That was great." He fiddled with the zipper on the lightweight anti-disintegration jacket, slipping it off onto the ground.

"It  _was_  certainly exhilarating," Baljeet agreed.

"And now, there will be pie." Buford cracked his knuckles. "I've been waiting for this."

Phineas laughed. "Yes, there'll be pie, I'm sure," he agreed. "Just so soon as Mom gets home - which should be any minute now."

He turned to steal a glance at the garage. The door was hanging wide open, revealing what appeared to be an empty interior - though from this angle it was a bit difficult to tell. Just as he was about to walk over and get a better view of the inside, however, a sudden explosion of sound burst forth from the silence. It was like the sound of a tornado. Or perhaps a vacuum cleaner, or even some combination of the two.

An unearthly green glow shone over the yard, enveloping the forty-story trampoline. It raised up off the ground, and into the air . With a weird sucking sound, it began collapsing in on itself, becoming smaller and smaller, all the while hovering dramatically in the air over the neighborhood.

Then, with a metallic clanking sound, it fell back to the earth - no larger than a normal trampoline.

"Oh!" Isabella exclaimed. "It's a normal trampoline now. We need one of those at the Fireside Girls' lodge - our old one broke."

"You can have this one," Phineas offered, figuring that if the Mysterious Force wouldn't let them keep it anyway, they may as well make sure that at least  _someone_  would get use out of it. Probably a lot of use - if it was going to be the Fireside Girls' new trampoline. He was pretty sure he remembered Isabella telling him about a  _10,000 Consecutive Jumps_  patch one time. That would definitely be a lot of use for a single trampoline - and if any trampoline could take it, it would be theirs.

"We can?!" Isabella exclaimed. "Oh,  _thank you!_  That's  _soooo_  nice of you!"

"Sure - it's no problem." he replied, thinking that her reaction was a bit over-the-top for just a trampoline? Maybe she enjoyed trampolining more than she'd let on at first. Well, that had worked out just perfectly, hadn't it? His eyes suddenly fell on Perry sleeping lazily next to the sliding glass door.

"Oh,  _there_  you are, Perry," he said. "You sure do sleep a lot for an animal that doesn't do much."

"And three…" Buford remarked, holding up three fingers. "And two...and one...and…"

He waved at the fence gate as it creaked open, and Linda appeared in the backyard.

"Hey, Mom!" Phineas greeted.

"Hey everybody," she called back, walking across the yard and towards the house. "Anybody want some pie?"

Everyone agreed enthusiastically to  _that_ , of course. And how could they not? Not only was pie good in general, but when it was made by  _his_  mom? He was sure that it was the best dessert ever.

_And not even all the food science in the multiverse can get around_ that. Phineas thought, following the others through the sliding glass door inside.

They all sat down around the table, and Linda doled out generous slices of banana cream pie to everyone. Before he took a bite though, he realized that something wasn't  _quite_  right. The chair to the left of his was still noticeably empty. He paused and set the fork back down on the table. One more person needed to show up before the day could be completed in full.

"I'll just be right back," he said aloud, scooting his chair away from the table. Quickly crossing the house, he slid aside the glass door and returned to the backyard. Darting across the grass, he peeked into the garage. It was completely empty - missing the table and the NIT helmets and Candace herself. Well, if not here, then where  _was_...

The garage door banged loudly against the wall behind him.

He turned around just in time to see Candace stalk in.

"Candace! He-"

Wow. Her appearance took him somewhat aback. Her hair and face and clothing were charred to a complete crisp, blacker than coal. He wrinkled his nose slightly at the noxious stench of burnt hair that followed her inside the garage.

"What - what happened?" he asked, slightly concerned. It seemed like someone could use a bit of a… cleaning up?

"I don't want to talk about i,." she muttered.

Phineas frowned, but dropped the subject. As long as she wasn't hurt, there was no reason to press her on something that she didn't want to talk about.

"Well, do you want to come have pie with us?" he asked. Although, on second thought, Linda would probably not let Candace touch any of the furniture in the house with a ten-foot pole right now.

Candace reached up and tried to push her hair down, but it rigidly refused, remaining splayed out in all directions. Tiny, glowing sparks of electricity showered down from it until she gave up with a snort.

"No," she replied, her voice low and guttural. It sounded like there was some sort of ash stuck in her throat or something. A drink of water would probably do her good.

"Come on," Phineas repeated, motioning towards the door. "Let's get you some water or something."

But she refused. "No. I don't want water. I just want to… no." She crossed her arms and sat down on the garage stool. "I just want to be alone."

"But…" he started to protest. Even on past days when something like conflicting schedules meant that she wasn't able to join them for projects, she  _never_  missed snack time. It was like an unwritten rule, almost: that no one missed out on the food.

"Just  _no_ ,alright?!" she exclaimed. "Today I just - I just can't."

_Well, it_ is  _her choice._ He thought.  _And I suppose that one day isn't that big of a deal._

The thought was not particularly pleasing, but it made sense. After all, they still had the rest of summer - and all the time after that - to invent stuff, and eat pie. One lapse wasn't the end of the world - or even the end of the day.

"Well," he relented. "If that's what you want, I guess."

"Mmm hmm." she nodded. "Just - just leave me be."

_Well, it_ is  _her business_.

Disappointing? No doubt. But it was alright. There was still the rest of the day, and all the days in the future. It wasn't anything to get worked up about. Nevertheless, as he crossed the short stretch of yard between the garage and the house, he was already looking forwards to tomorrow. Then again, that wasn't so strange. Today  _may_  have been a good day, but tomorrow Candace would be with them. And that fact alone would make it a million and six times better.


	5. Neural Information Transfer

"Just - just leave me be," Candace said, collapsing in a blackened, burnt heap onto the stool in the garage. Her hair crackled with pent-up static electricity as she brushed near the metal tools lying scattered on the nearby table.

Phineas didn't answer. He ran his eyes up and down her one more time, as if surveying the extent of the damage. She didn't care anymore - she was too exhausted for that. Being turned into a human semiconductor for powerful lightning-like jolts of electricity was a draining experience by itself - and the sheer mortification she'd felt at her thoroughly charred appearance as she made her way home as quickly as possible had soon sapped away the rest of her energy, leaving in its place an all-encompassing apathy.

He seemed torn over something or the other, but eventually turned and slowly left the garage. He stopped briefly once more to cast one more long glance over his shoulder at her as he walked away. She heard the sliding glass door open, and then shut.

Once alone, she reached out and touched the screw gun laying on the table.

"Ow!"

The yelp was entirely reflexive as a bright spark of electricity arced between her hand and the gun. Her hair almost immediately collapsed down out of the rigid on-end position it had been stuck in ever since the… accident. She pulled out her cell phone and tossed the fried, slightly smoking piece of technology onto the garage floor. It would be more useful as a paperweight now.

Honestly, she just wanted to go to sleep. Right then, right there.

She'd been struck by lightning once before during a time travel trip to ancient prehistory - and had had almost the same reaction after everything else going on that day had calmed down and her adrenaline had drained. She'd fallen asleep in the car on the way home from the museum, and slept like a log until the next morning. It was strange, really, because you wouldn't expect a reaction like that, but that was the way it worked. Then again, maybe it wasn't  _that_ surprising. It's not exactly a  _healthy_  thing to go through, and your body needs time to recuperate from both the physical and mental shock of such an ordeal.

Even as she fought to keep her eyes open, she continued to worry.

Jeremy was going to move into his new position in a week and five days now. A week and five days until the already scanty time they got to spend together was drastically reduced yet again, shaved down to basically nothing.

She knew what _that_ would mean. Spending so little time together? There'd be growing apart - there'd be other girls - there'd be the all the myriad of ways that  _The Plan_  that she'd nurtured for years could entirely fall apart. She couldn't let that happen - her entire future depended on it.

And whereas she might have once scoffed at the idea of Jeremy being drawn to someone else - she now knew that he wanted... wanted to be _normal_. For the rest of his life! Which was something that she was utterly unable to provide. There was only one way around  _this_  horrifying new fact. And it wasn't in her going back - entry to the world of abnormality where she now lived was a one-way door. No, he just needed a little push in the right direction - and before you knew it, he'd be right there next to her. No need for  _normal_  or anything stupid like that. This way would be better - he just didn't know it yet.

And it wasn't like it was a  _bad_  thing she was planning on doing. Sure, not actually telling Jeremy what was going on may seem a  _bit_ strange,but he just wouldn't understand - until after. He'd be okay with it anyway, right? Surely. The only reason he'd said those things those few days ago was because he just didn't  _understand_. And she could fix that! And fix it she would.

Candace had never been a very good liar.

Her eyelids lowered heavily as she fought to stay awake. But even though the day was only three-fourths over, she was entirely spent. Being struck by what may as well have been lightning just did that to you.

Her head sank down onto the table and her eyes slowly shut. The slight humming of the garage light overhead was soon lost to the oblivion of sleep.

She awoke with a start a good four hours later, her stomach rumbling with hunger. It was beginning to grow dark outside - this time from natural causes, instead of a premature night brought on by whatever that huge black  _thing_  had been that her brothers had built. Sitting back up, she saw that someone had been in the garage while she slept. There was something new on the table next her head.

It looked like a light projector of sorts, but made entirely of shiny silver metal, with a long green tube running up and down the side. She picked it up, hefting it gently in her hand. A short handwritten note was lying next to it.

_Candace, you can use this to get clean without having to bother scrubbing all that stuff off in the shower. It feels kind of uncomfortable, but it does a great job, and only takes ten or fifteen seconds or so. I would have just done it myself, put it probably would have woken you up. I also fixed your phone._

_-Phineas_

She glanced back at the table and saw her phone lying in the spot where that note had covered it up. It looked as good as new, and even the most superficial of examinations could tell that it was certainly in better shape than the charred, burnt-out husk it had been a few hours ago. Of course, if Phineas had fixed it, it _was_ probably as good as new - or even better.

A small twinge of guilt stabbed at her, but she stubbornly willed it away. There was no time for that  _now_  - she could do all the apologizing she may or may not need to do  _later_ , after her relationship with Jeremy was saved, after  _The Plan_  was stabilized, after aaaall that had happened. Phineas - well, he might not be _happy_  with her sudden abandonment of their projects together in favor of her own, but she knew that he would never get truly  _upset_  towards her. He'd always be there, like he always was, ready on a moment's notice to modify his day's plans in whatever way necessary to best include her. And once she made sure that Jeremy would always be there as well, everything could go back being like  _that_  - back to the wonderful way it had been for years.

Turning the projector to face the floor, she pressed the button on its backside. Green light flashed out and swept the floor - and all at once, the garage floor was spotlessly clean, looking almost as if one could prepare food on the concrete surface. Candace raised her eyebrows. Turning the end of the projector to face herself, she pressed the button once more, and instantly a strange shiver ran up and down her spine as that green light poured out over her. She released the button a moment later, and it immediately stopped, leaving a strange chill on her arms and legs.

Sucking in a deep breath, she glanced down, and was pleasantly surprised to find herself completely spotless - skin and hair and clothes and all - with no traces of ash or soot or charred-on blackness anywhere on her. She sat the cleaning ray back down on the table.

Her stomach growled again, and she picked up her newly repaired cell phone to check the time. It was six minutes past six - dinner time. It was a small wonder in and of itself that no one had come to wake her up for the meal. Then again, maybe it wasn't. Her parents had probably assumed that she was still out somewhere with Jeremy - an assumption which wasn't too terribly far-fetched. Indeed, if she had been successful this afternoon, it may well have been true.

Candace picked herself up from the stool and walked slowly out of the garage, shutting off the light behind her. She trudged across the yard and towards the back door of the house. As she pulled the sliding glass door open, the strong smell of pasta sauce assaulted her nose. Suddenly, her stomach's complaining for sustenance disappeared into a strong sense of queasiness - and thought of actually eating became downright intolerable.

She could hear Phineas' excited chatter from the kitchen, as he rambled on and on - about his day, about what they'd done, and about all the things they might do tomorrow. Lawrence spoke up and mentioned something about the antique shop, and that slight interruption entirely derailed the conversation into another path.

She suddenly became aware of someone staring at her. Turning around, she saw Ferb standing silently on the stairs, his unblinking gaze feeling as if it could see straight through her.

"What?" she protested, keeping her voice low so as not to give away her presence to the rest of the family just beyond the living room wall.

Ferb just stared. She squinted at him and tried her best to interpret his look, but was simply too tired to focus like that. Still, the look  _was_  strange - and it was clear enough to even her that he wanted to know what she was doing, standing alone in the dark living room while everyone else laughed and ate.

"I practically got struck by lightning again today, alright?" she said exasperatedly. "It  _hurt_! And I'm  _tired_. I'm just gonna go upstairs and go straight to bed. You can tell them whatever you want. I don't care."

He merely blinked at her, but even that simple action seemed to be demanding further explanation - explanation she had, but was oh-so-unwilling to give.

"What do you mean?" she demanded. "That's  _all_ there is to it."

Gah, him and his staring! They could be so- so _infuriating_  at times.

"Alright,  _so what_  if there is more?! It's none of _your_ business anyways," she burst forth, pushing past him in a huff, heading straight upstairs to her bedroom.

She caught herself just a moment before slamming the door, and quietly closed it instead.

_What a wonderful way to end the day,_  she thought, growing irritated once more at absolutely nothing. Well, there  _was_ tomorrow - for now. Soon enough, there  _wouldn't be_  a tomorrow - and Jeremy would be lost forever. If it was the  _last_  thing she did, she had to make sure that  _never_  came to pass.

She threw herself across the bed and lay still, not even unmaking the covers. And her exhaustion hit her like a ton of bricks, instantly crushing any feeble resistance to the all-devouring wave of sleep that completely consumed her.

* * *

Candace awoke the next morning to face full of sunshine.

"Ugh." she groaned, rolling over in bed to get the blinding yellow glare out of her eyes.

What time was it anyway? It had to be at least a little past her normal wake-up time, if the sunlight from her window was already reaching her bed.

She rolled over grumpily, and stared at her alarm clock. It read eight-thirty.

"Eight-thirty?!" she exclaimed aloud. "What in the…"

Oh, that was just  _wonderful_. This alarm clock had  _never_  failed to wake her up before. Why now? When every passing hour was more important than the last?

Quickly shaking off the remaining vestiges of fatigue, she stood up and opened her bedroom door. Both of the other doors in the hall were wide open - of course they were. It was  _eight-thirty_ , after all, and to everyone else in the household, the day had begun almost an hour ago. It was past time that she started too - every minute wasted sleeping was a minute that she could be working to bring her relationship back from the brink.

Walking downstairs, she completely ignored the kitchen, and the bowl of cereal and metal scoop lying out on the table - instead going directly for the sliding glass door. She was hungry  _now_ , having skipped dinner; and the thought of that cereal was certainly tempting, but there was simply no time. She'd just have to muscle through it. It was for Jeremy, after all. And didn't that make it worth it?

Pulling open the sliding glass door, she was immediately hit in the face with a cacophony of construction noises and the strong stench of motor oil and competence. Her brothers had already begun the day in earnest. She swept her eyes across the yard, hunting for them.

Ah, there they were - over by that stack of steel I-beams. Under the shade of the tree as usual - both looking down at some blueprint stretched between them.

Snatching up a hard hat from a box conveniently placed next to the door, she pushed it firmly down on her head and set off across the yard towards them.

"Candace!" Phineas exclaimed, looking up from the blueprint. "How're you feeling this morning? Any better?"

"I'm fine," she answered shortly. There was no time for small talk - not at this late hour. Too much of the morning had already been wasted.

"Awesome!" he continued. "That's great. So, anyway, check out what we decided to do today!" He turned the blueprint around so that she could see it. "I know much you like doing stuff like  _this_ ," and he motioned to a portion of the blueprint that had been repeatedly circled with red ink, "So I figured, since you missed out yesterday, that's what we'd do! I've even convinced everybody to wait for you to come out before we start. I didn't want you to miss a single second of it, you know?" He paused and took a breath. "It'll be great fun! You'll love it."

She looked down at the blueprint, down at the circled part of it, and for a moment, and almost caught herself deciding to stay with them today. But no! That was not okay. She had to get back to Jeremy, before it was too late for  _them_. There'd be plenty of time for projects later - she only had a limited amount of time to patch things up with Jeremy.

"Sorry," she said. "But I can't stay. I'm gonna go do…" her voice trailed off momentarily. Do  _what_? She asked herself. Truth be told, she didn't know. So far, she'd had two ideas, and both of them had seemed like they were  _sure_  to succeed, and yet, both had completely and utterly failed. That didn't matter. A new idea -  _the_ idea, the one that would work, would come, sooner or later, and she would be ready when it did - whenever that was.

"...do my, ah,  _stuff,_ " she finished. "You know how it is."

" _Again_?" Phineas asked slowly. She groaned internally. This was never going to get any easier, was it? But she'd managed yesterday, and she could manage today.

"Yeah, sorry." She shrugged slightly. "I've got… other plans."

That should be explanation enough, right? It was pretty much all the explaining she was willing to do, anyway. Going into more detail would require divulging a mess of things she would rather that no one else ever know - including things that she wasn't willing to admit to herself either.

Phineas and Ferb shared a glance, and Phineas reached up and pulled off his hard hat.

"What - what kind of stuff?" he asked. "Like the same 'stuff' as yesterday?"

"Yeah," she replied. "Pretty much. Just, you know, stuff."

"Like yesterday," he repeated. "But can't we at least  _help_  today? I mean, you won't even say what it's  _for_. Or what you're  _doing._  Or - or anything, really."

"And I have a  _very_  good reason for that, thank you very much." Her tone was perhaps a bit more sharp there than she'd intended. But could she even be blamed? Why did he care so much about where she was or what she was doing anyway?

_You know well enough why_. Her conscience said, stabbing her in the gut.

Phineas seemed a bit taken back by her tone of voice - even if it had been entirely accidental.

_Good_. She thought, mustering up every ounce of selfish vindictiveness in her body, vainly trying to justify her attitude to herself.  _Now maybe he'll just_ drop _it._

But she knew him well enough to know that such a thing would never happen.

"I'm - I'm sorry," he responded, the volume of his voice a bit more subdued than normal. "It's - it's just - well, it's silly, really. I mean, I  _know_  you're around most of the time, but I just thought - I thought that after yesterday you'd be ready to stay again. It'd be fun! It's silly, because I know that sometimes people have other things to do - I just don't know."

His voice had taken on an almost pleading tone that fractured her determination to its very core.

_No!_  She thought.  _I can't stay - I can't! What if today is the day I fix everything? I have to try!_

She became aware of her two brothers watching her very closely. Phineas' stare she could shrug off - but Ferb... It was  _Ferb_  and his stares that were going to be the death of her one day.

"I know it seems kind of crazy to ask after just two days," Phineas said slowly. "But, you  _do_  still have fun, right? Like - after you finish… whatever you're doing, you'll come back?"

_No!_  She could feel her willpower to resist crumbling every second she stood here. She had to go - to get  _away_ \- before her guilty conscience convinced her to stay, throwing away even more time that needed desperately to be spent averting the upcoming trouble with Jeremy. She took a step back defensively and summoned up all of the oomph she could still find within herself.

"What does it matter anyway?" she asked haughtily. "Why do you care so much? It's none of your business what I go about doing when I want to! I used to  _never_  hang out with you! And you didn't seem to mind then! You just…"

_Too much! Too much!_  she screamed internally. But it was too late. Whether or not she'd fully meant what she'd said - it  _had_  come out either way. And nothing could ever change that.

"...just - just...get... used to - it." she finished lamely, a huge truckload of guilt crashing down on her shoulders.

Phineas said nothing - nothing at all. His eyes grew impossibly wide, and his grip on the hard hat in his hand tightened until his knuckles began turning white. The noise of the assorted construction equipment scattered about in the backyard seemed to fade away in the face of his deafening silence - a silence which grew in volume until Candace could hear nothing else.

Ferb turned fully to face her and although he said nothing either, his eyes spoke volumes. She cowered before his gaze, feeling it pierce to her very soul. She had to say  _something_  - but her tongue, so destructively active just moments before, was tied in knots and refused to cooperate. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

So she did the only other thing that occurred to her guilt-ridden mind. She turned away from her brothers - and ran. Ran far, and ran fast. Out of the backyard, across the driveway, and down the sidewalk. Nowhere particular - just  _away_. Farther and farther, away from the backyard, away from her brothers, away from the house. Just  _away._  Away from everything.

She ran all the way to the end of the neighborhood, finding herself at the bus stop. It was there she finally stopped, panting and out of breath, and threw herself down on the hard metal bench at the stop. The summer sun beat down with vehemence from the mostly cloudless sky - but thick clouds were lurking at the horizon, threatening weather patterns more unstable than at first appeared.

Candace groaned slightly and shifted slightly in her seat, attempting to find a spot on the bench that wasn't quite so hot to the touch.

What had even happened? It had all been so - so fast. This  _wasn't_  what she needed right now! Her plate was already filled to the absolute brim with trying to save  _The Plan_  and trying to salvage her relationship Jeremy - and now _this_?! Could she  _never_  catch a break?

With a monumental effort, she stifled the part of her brain telling her that she had no one to blame for this latest development other then herself. It  _wasn't_  her fault, okay? They couldn't just  _expect_  her to show up every day. So  _what_  if she was breaking the constant routine of almost four years with these days away? Things  _changed_  sometimes, alright? Eventually she'd be grown and out of the house - living with Jeremy, of course - and what would Phineas do  _then_ , if he couldn't even deal with two days in row  _now_? This was for the best, after all, he'd have to face down much longer absences on her part in the future.

Candace had never been a very good liar.

_Besides,_ she thought,  _even if I_ was _wrong, he'll just have to wait. There's enough I've gotta do right now - I just can't deal with it all right now. He can take his turn - after everything else I've_ got _to get done._

She would patch things up with Jeremy first, and her brother after. It sucked - it did. But she just couldn't bring herself to face _either_  of her brothers right now - and deep in her heart, she knew that no matter  _what_  she did, her brother would never really and truly abandon her. But Jeremy? Well, she just didn't know anymore.

Loud pneumatic hissing broke the silence in the air, as one of Danville's many city buses braked to a noisy halt in front of the bus stop. The door of the bus rattled and slid open. She stood up and fished in her pocket for the laminated bus pass that had seen far less use in the past few years than it once had. Having a personal teleporter with a range of almost ten miles constantly in your pocket made public transit services much less necessary for getting around to places. Why was she getting on the bus now, then? She didn't know.

Flashing the pass as required, she climbed up onto the bus. Slumping to the back, she threw herself down on one the uncomfortable plastic seats and settled back into it as much as was possible. The ride from the Arbor Estates neighborhood stop to the bus stop at the Googolplex would take a good twelve minutes, as she knew very well from experience. Twelve minutes wasn't long, not by any means, but it was certainly longer than the time it would have taken to instantaneously teleport. So then, why  _did_  she take the bus?

And once she got to the Slushy Burger, what would she do? Unlike the past days, she had no plan. There'd been no idea. And even if there  _had_  been one, it wasn't like she could do anything with it now. Candace inwardly kicked herself for running off from her brothers before asking if they minded her draining some of the funds from their corporate expense account again - not that she'd been capable of saying  _anything_ , much less something like that, before she'd turned tail and fled.

She really didn't think they'd mind either way, of course. They'd had no objection yesterday, so why would they start minding now? She knew her brothers well enough that she highly doubted that would _ever_  change.

_That's what you think,_  she thought.  _But after what you said…?_

She swallowed hard. Phineas would never,  _ever_  hold a grudge against any living being. It simply wasn't in his nature. Right? That shell-shocked reaction of his this morning… the image of it lurked in the back of her brain. And it frightened her.

_I didn't really_ mean _it._ She told herself.  _He knows that, right? I mean, everybody says things they don't mean when they get mad. Phineas's smart - he obviously knows that. I'm sure he's laughed it off already, and gone back to his normal stuff. And there's me here tearing myself apart over it. Ugh._

Candace had never been a very good liar.

The brakes of the bus squealed loudly, and the vehicle ground to a stop, jarring her out of her thoughts. She sat up and looked out of the window. They were here.

The bright purple facade that marked the main entrance of the Googolplex towered prominently two stories into the sky just a parking lot away. And, across the street in the other direction stood the Slushy Burger. The one-story fast food establishment seemed a towering monument to her - making a mockery of her inability to do anything but sit back helplessly as her plan for the future crumbled down around her.

She would show that stupid building. Thinking it could sit there and suck up Jeremy,  _her_  boyfriend, everyday for eight and a half hours a day? Not on  _her_  watch, no way! It was  _not_  going to happen - even if the very universe itself had to come to an end to avoid it. Irrational anger at the inanimate object flared up red-hot inside her.

Abruptly lurching up to her feet, she hastily debarked the bus and marched across the parking lot into the Googolplex. Her hand shot down into her pocket, feeling about for the card residing within. There it was. She pulled it out, holding the rigid but still slightly flexible red plastic firmly in her balled fist. It  _was_  partly her money too, after all - as clearly demonstrated by the thirty-three percent share of the company that resided snugly under her name. And she certainly had a good reason to take some of it now - whatever was left of it after Phineas and Ferb had drained it for the day's project.

She kicked open one of the many sets of front doors, and marched straight down to the center concourse to Shermin's Hardware - the mall's only hardware store. Although the Super Duper Mega Superstore had a  _much_  wider selection of pretty much everything, the Superstore was also eighty minutes and seventy miles away. No, the Googolplex's itty bitty store would do well enough. It was alright - she could improvise. Not that she had any idea what she was going to do, anyway. But something would come, soon enough.

She stalked directly through the small store, right up to the front counter.

"What can I do for you today?" the man behind the counter drawled.

"I want ten of  _everything,_ " she declared, slamming the expense card down on the counter. "No, make that twenty."

The man raised his eyebrows slightly at the demand. "That's a lot of stuff, miss. What exactly do you have in mind for all that?"

And then, just like that, the idea struck, flashing down out of the blue like a lightning - actually, scratch that. Candace had had more than enough of lightning after yesterday.

_In mind._  

Well, of course! It was all so simple when she thought about it like  _that_. Jeremy's brain had rejected all that new information she'd tried to pump into it from the  _outside_ , but that wouldn't happen if she did it from the  _inside_. And even if it did - having access to the inside of his mind would open up the possibility of the  _other_ way to fix things, despite its dubious standing when it came to ethics and morality. Specifically, the manually rewiring of the inner workings of his brain, until he no longer desired to be  _normal -_ or maybe even farther. There was almost no limit to the things you could do once you actually made to jump to directly fiddling with free will. The pieces of the puzzle all clicked together into one fabulous pattern.

"Actually," she said. "Cancel that. I know  _exactly_ I want. Get a notepad - it's gonna be a looooong list."

The man glanced down at the card lying on the counter.

"Carpe Diem Incorporated," he read aloud. "Candace  _Flynn_. Oh - I see. You're one of  _them._  Alright, I'll be right back."

Thirty-three minutes later saw Candace leaving the Googolplex in a triumph - some forty thousand dollars lighter and two hundred and twenty-seven pounds of assorted circuitry and supplies heavier. She pushed the heavily-laden cart that held all her precious cargo out into the mall parking lot, and found a small island in a relatively abandoned stretch of pavement. Pulling the cart up onto the grass, she plucked a welder's mask and brand-new set of tools from the top of the pile and set to work.

As the project came together beneath her hands, it struck a remarkable similarity to the ill-fated NIT helmets of yesterday. It was another set of two helmets, after all, and these were also bound together by a black wire as thick around as her index finger. But that sameness was only at the most superficial level - and instantly disappeared the moment you laid eyes upon the inner workings of the gadgetry, which could  _not_  have been more different.

Time slid quickly by, and the sun sank lower and lower from its noontime zenith as she worked. Occasionally a curious passerby or two would stop and stare for a few minutes at the strange sight that was a teenage girl wearing a welding mask, hard at work with a blowtorch and a screw gun. In a parking lot island, of all places - making  _something_ , next to a shopping cart overflowing with random pieces of gadgetry. But she didn't care - and no one thought to disturb her. If she was so careless about doing it in plain sight in broad daylight, then she must be allowed to do it anyway, right? It was as if the concept of hiding in plain sight had never occurred to the citizens of Danville.

Then again, to be fair, it hadn't occurred to Candace either. Hiding - either in plain sight or in a more ordinary way - had been the farthest thing from her mind when she began working. And now, it didn't matter anymore. She was done.

With a satisfied breath, she pulled off the welding mask and dropped it to the grass besides her. The helmets were finished. And this time, they were going to work. This idea couldn't fail.

Of course, that  _was_  the same thing that she'd thought yesterday… and the day before. But whatever! That had been yesterday - and the day before. This was  _today_. And today - today she succeeded.  _This_  time was going to be different. Why? Well… just  _because_ , that's why!

She snatched up the two helmets, and held them securely under her arms. Leaving the shopping cart and newly-purchased tools and unused bits and pieces behind her on the island, she resolutely struck out across the parking lot for the Slushy Burger.

The heavy clouds that been hanging near the horizon had increased in number and thickness, almost completely blotting out the deep blue summer sky. As she pulled open the door to the restaurant and disappeared within, a cold gust of wind whistled through the air.

The cooling atmosphere outside was replaced by the warm air inside the restaurant, scented slightly of hot dogs that were guaranteed to have not gotten any better since 1929. There were no other customers inside - the booths and tables were all completely abandoned. Even as she stepped through the door, she spied Jeremy standing up front at the counter, doing something at the drink machine behind the register.

"Jeremy!" she called out, quickening her pace and making her way towards the counter.

Upon hearing her voice, he dropped whatever he was doing and turned around to greet her.

"Hey, Candace. How are you?"

"I'm doing just fine  _now,_ " she answered jubilantly. "That I have  _these_!" She carefully sat the two new helmets down on the counter.

"...and what are you going to do with those?" he asked slowly.

"What am  _I_  going to do?" she questioned. "You mean what are  _we_  going to do! We just put them on - one each, of course - and I make  _everything better._  Manually, if I have to."

"Candace, yesterday when you told me to put on a weird helmet, and that it would 'fix everything that's broken', I got  _fried_." He was smiling slightly, but his tone was dead serious. "I was in the shower for  _two hours_ , and still didn't get completely clean. And I  _still_  haven't gotten that metallic taste out my mouth. I mean, just look at my hair…!"

He reached up and pulled off his uniform cap with the plastic wiener sticking out of it. Her eyes widened a little at the sight. His blonde hair was still charred a horrible black - to the point where if she hadn't known better, she might have assumed that he simply had black hair. Even then, on a second look, it was plainly obvious that the blackness was different from the blackness of, say, Stacy's hair. It was shades darker, and generally just  _harder_  looking, somehow. It was closer to the blackness of charcoal.

"And this is  _after_  those two hours in the shower," he finished.

Had it actually been that bad? Maybe the cleaning-light-beam gun thing Phineas had made had done more work than she realized. Still, what did this have to do with anything?

"So I hope you'll understand when I decline to put another mysterious helmet on my head."

_Wait, what?_ she thought.  _But - if he..._

"Oh, come on!" she pleaded. "Since when have my brothers or I ever messed up with the crazy, like, technology stuff? More than once in a row, I mean?"

"Candace, I looked like a piece of walking charcoal. I couldn't even  _walk right_  for twenty minutes after it happened. After you - you know - ran off. I clogged up the shower drain at home with the amount of soot that was caked on me."

"It was just an accident…!" she said. "Second time's the charm, right?" She gave him her best innocent smile, but inside was falling apart all over again. Of all the obstacles she'd thought she might run into - this was  _not_  one of them. Jeremy had always been quite laid-back when it came to her and her brothers projects. Never quite reaching the same levels of enthusiasm they did, but still more than willing to cooperate and express his admiration at their 'coolness'. The day  _anyone_  turned down one of  _their_ projects over fears about safety… well, there was  _some_  precedence, but it was incredibly flimsy. And  _Jeremy_?  _Now_? When his cooperation was most crucial?

He returned the smile, but still shook his head.

"You can call me paranoid all you want," he replied. "And maybe I am. But I'd rather be paranoid my whole life if it meant not having to go through  _that_  again."

"Oh, come on!" she protested, growing slightly exasperated. "It wasn't  _that_  bad - just a little jolt. It's not like you were actually struck by  _lightning_  or anything. And  _I_ would know."

Still he shook his head.

"Well… I'll tell you what," he relented after a moment's more thought. "I'm  _sure_  you can find a way to do whatever that thing does -  _without_  having to wear a helmet. You make it into  _that_ , and I'll do it, alright?" He paused. "What do these things even  _do_  anyway - besides turn people into overcooked french fries?"

That was  _not_  funny. Couldn't he see well enough how upset she was over yesterday's failure already? She was in no mood to hear a joke like that.

He simply looked at her, waiting for some sort of response. Which wasn't good at all - how on earth was she supposed to respond?

"Oh...uh," she answered, halting for a protracted period of time. "You know - it's just, like, a helmet. That - uh - fixes things?"

Jeremy raised one eyebrow.

"Right," he said, smiling. "And what about me are you trying to fix, anyway?"

Her face blanched at the question, as jokingly as it had been posed. This was treading on  _dangerous_  ground. What she was trying to do… well, he just wouldn't get it until  _after_  she was done.  _Then_  she would explain, and they would laugh about it together. Not that he'd need an explanation after she was done anyway - it would all be self-evident then.

"N - nothing!" she blurted out. "Th - that's crazy! Why would you - why would you think that? No!"

He leaned back slightly from the counter.

"I wasn't being  _serious_ , Candace," he said. "Although, this  _is_  twice now that you've told me to put on some helmet thing and that by doing so, things will be fixed or made better or whatever. Now you've gotta admit, it does seem kind of weird, right?"

"No - no!" she spluttered. "I - oh, no, I  _swear_  that's got nothing to do with it! Nothing - nothing at all!" Her face grew bright red as she desperately tried to escape from the hole she'd dug for herself. "It's… it's not like that at all! Not at all - not, not all."

Jeremy cocked one eyebrow and remained silent.

"Well, whatever," he said slowly. "If you say so."

She desperately looked around for something - anything - with which to change the subject. Her eyes landed back on her invention sitting on the counter. She picked up one of the helmets and pushed it against him.

He took it from her, but placed it gently back on the counter.

"Come on, Candace," he asked. "Humor me just this once, will you? What happened yesterday  _hurt_. And besides, my parents would  _kill_  me if I went home all burnt up again - if they didn't die from the shock first. My mom almost fainted when she saw me walk through the door last night - and you know she isn't the fainting type."

" _Your_  mom?" she said. "'Hawkeye' Johnson?"

Jeremy nodded. "And you can believe me when I tell you that if I would  _not_  live to the tell the tale if I show up at home again looking like I did last night."

"But it  _won't_  happen again! I promise!" she protested. "Come on! You can believe me, right?"

He grimaced and looked off into the space behind her. "How about this, then," he finally said. "It's five forty-three right now. I'll get off in seventeen minutes. Why don't you head back to your house and just, like, remodel that thing so that it  _doesn't_ require me to put anything on my head - and preferably not anywhere else on my body either. Then, when I get off I'll go straight there and do whatever you want."

_Home?_  She gulped at the thought. She'd rather not go there… not after what happened this morning. She was already dreading the time when nightfall would force her to return, but was looking to delay that as long as possible.

"How - how about somewhere else?" she asked, her speech slow and halting. "I'd rather not go home now - it's, well, it's a long ways away, and we should go somewhere closer!"

He reached up and re-adjusted his hat, tucking a long strand of burnt hair back underneath the brim. "Alright," he agreed. "My house is closer. And it  _has_  been a long day, so I'd prefer not having to go anywhere else before getting home."

Wait,  _Jeremy's_  house? That was just as terrifying a prospect, if for an entirely different set of reasons. Also, incidentally, a set of reasons that he could never know.

"S-sure!" she stammered. "B-by the way - you wouldn't happen to have any idea if - if your  _little sister_  is home?"

He frowned. "Suzy? I don't know." He shrugged. "I guess she could be. Why?"

"N-no reason." she replied, putting on the biggest fake smile she could muster. "I guess - guess I'll be going now."

He smiled and nodded. "Alright. I'll see you in just a few minutes. Then we can do all your experiments or whatever that thing does."

Candace picked up the two helmets and reluctantly backtracked from the restaurant. A cold fear was rapidly filling her heart. But she had to deal with it - this was for Jeremy. And besides, hadn't that always been what kept her together when faced with the very personification of mortal terror?

_Just rework the Consciousness Splicer to not require anything be physically touching the subject. I can do that. Just rework the Splicer. Don't think about anything. Splicer. Nothing else. Splicer. I do this - I fix everything. Free will be what it may - I can get around it._

She pushed open the door to the restaurant and got a faceful of powerful wind. The atmosphere had become completely overcast, completely hiding the evening sun from view. The grayness of the clouds offset a sky turned sickly green, and thunder rumbled ominously in the distance.

She put her head down and set out, pushing against the howling wind.

There was no doubt about it, a storm was coming.


	6. Giant Skiddley Whiffers

Something was going on.

He didn't know  _what_  exactly, but if there was one thing on this earth that Ferb Fletcher was  _absolutely_ certain about - it was that  _something_  was going on. All day something had seemed a bit off, but it was the incident on the stairs that evening that had really done it - that had been the straw that broke the camel's back, as it were.

At first, he'd chalked it up to nothing more than a little, or perhaps a lot, of drama about nothing - courtesy of his older step sister, of course. If that were indeed the case, it would be nothing unusual. Hardly a week went by without Candace flying into a panic over some little thing. Sometimes it was because something her boyfriend said, sometimes it was because of something Stacy Hirano said, sometimes it was because the supply trucks were running a few minutes behind, sometimes it was that the day's project was being a bit more stubborn than they originally expected, and sometimes it was for no apparent reason at all. And although the passage of time had worked somewhat to reduce the intensity and severity of her panics, they would probably never be entirely rooted out. The tendency to needlessly panic - with all that it entailed - was an ingrained part of Candace's personality, as deeply rooted in her psyche as Phineas' optimism was in his.

Still, said panic attacks were always short-lived, hardly lasting longer than a few hours, and almost never persisting from day to day. This constant was what first tipped him off that maybe there was something more behind it this time.

When Candace actually begged off of their project for the day, Ferb could safely say that he was surprised. Considering all the ways he and his siblings shattered all sorts of so-called 'scientific laws' and 'rules of common sense' on an often daily basis, there weren't many things that truly surprised him. He supposed that had everything to do with how'd he grown up - more exposed to the exceptions than the rules. And despite the craziness that went on in and around the yellow house on Maple Drive, there was nonetheless a method to the madness - a predictable aspect to even the most unpredictable of events.

And although Candace had been absent for daily projects every now and then before, it was never in the way she'd done it this morning. In the past, when it had happened, it had been no surprise. For example, the time three weeks ago when she and Stacy had gone off to the Googolplex early in the morning because there was some sort of time-limited sale going on. Even though they'd never actually sat down and talked about that, she'd still made no secret of it, and when the day had dawned, everyone already knew that she was going to be gone. Although Phineas had often told him that he preferred the days when Candace was there, he always followed up by assuring him that he didn't mind her occasional absences.

"I know sometimes schedules conflict - and that can't be helped," Phineas would say. "But I really don't mind - one day isn't much of a big deal."

But this morning had gone down  _way_  differently. There had been no early warning of any sort, as far as he had seen. Candace had merely plopped down at the breakfast table and declared that she wanted to go off alone for the day. Which, although entirely within her right, was still such a break from routine that it surprised even him.

And it had gone over… well, it'd gone better he had suspected it might. Of course, Phineas wasn't  _pleased_ , that much was plainly obvious. But, as was his wont, you wouldn't even have known had you missed what happened at breakfast. He was clearly unhappy for all of about a minute or two, and then had lapsed straight back into his normal happy-go-lucky attitude. Despite that, Ferb was still able to tell that he wasn't  _quite_  as carefree as normal, but it was such a small difference that even he had to look twice to see it sometimes.

Later that day, Ferb had seen him slip out of the kitchen during snack time to go find her, but he'd returned alone, looking ever-so-slightly downcast. It wasn't until even later in the afternoon, after Buford, Baljeet, and Isabella had taken their leave, that the two of them got another chance to talk about it.

"Candace is back, Ferb," Phineas said. "She's out in the garage. And she looks  _really_  rough. I don't know what happened, but at least she didn't  _seem_  hurt."

Ferb wondered what he meant by  _rough._

Phineas laughed slightly. "I mean - you could go look if you wanted. She looks like - like a burnt out matchstick, black soot coat and pungent smoky fumes and all."

Ferb blinked in surprise. Was he actually serious?

"Yeah, I'm being serious," Phineas insisted,apparently seeing the disbelief in his face. "I'm not sure quite what happened to her, actually. It looks almost like she got struck by lightning somehow."

Well, there was no point in sitting here speculating about what had happened when the original source was in just the other room, was there?

_Why don't we just go and_ ask _her what happened, then?_  Ferb thought, gesturing towards the door.

Phineas looked off into space fora moment, as if thinking about something before answering. "Yeah, I guess so. Well, come on then."

Ferb followed silently as he led the way out of the house and to the garage. Even as they walked across the short stretch of grass separating the two, he became aware of a noxious smell permeating the air. It was somewhat similar to burning rubber - but also different in way he couldn't quite tell. Something was definitely burning, though.

It was when he rounded the corner of the house and saw the inside of the garage that he realized what was making the awful stench.

It was Candace.

Well, that wasn't really fair, he thought, smiling slightly despite himself. It wasn't her specifically - it was the pleasant aroma of burnt hair.  _Her_  hair, of course, but that was besides the point. His eyes watered slightly at the stink, and he blinked once or twice to help clear them. Strangely enough, despite being burnt nearly to charcoal, she was sleeping, slumped over the small table in the garage. Pretty soundly too, it appeared, seeing that she'd not moved a muscle since they'd walked in.

"Hey, look," Phineas said. He bent down and picked up something from the garage floor. "I think it's her phone." He hefted the blackened lump in his hand. "It's warm."

_Well, no doubt_. Ferb thought.  _Whatever happened to fry Candace that much would have also fried her phone - only electronics are much less resistant to frying, in general._

"Yeah," Phineas agreed. "I think maybe I'll fix it for her. She'd probably like that."

_Probably_.

Phineas tossed the phone up into the air and caught it with his other hand.

"Well, let's go," he said. "What do you wanna do for the rest of the afternoon?"

What did he want to do? Eh, it didn't really matter. Maybe sit on the couch and watch a movie or play a board game or something.

"Oh, board games," Phineas agreed. "We can play  _Monotony_. There should be enough time for a full game before dinner."

And there was, although they did cut it a bit closely. Phineas spent a few minutes fixing the cell phone and putting together some other gadget, which he decided that Candace would appreciate as well, before he could turn his full attention to the game. By the time they finally wrapped it up, the sun had pretty much set, and Lawrence poked his head into the bedroom, letting them know that dinner was ready.

Ferb offered to clean up the game board and other bits and pieces scattered around on the bedroom floor, letting Phineas go down the stairs first. As it turned out, that was probably a wise decision - otherwise Phineas would have been the one on the stairs instead of him. Not that that would have been a  _bad_  thing, but then he would have missed it - and might not have realized just how different things seemed to be becoming.

He'd finished cleaning up the game, had turned out the light and was heading downstairs when he happened upon Candace.

She was standing in the living room, just staring at the wall. So perfectly quiet and still that he looked straight at her for ten seconds before realizing that she was even there. When it suddenly  _clicked_  in his mind that he wasn't alone in the living room, it had given him quite a start. Normally  _he_  was the one who did the whole coming-up-unnoticed thing, and it had been surprising to have the tables turned, and by Candace of all people, easily the least subtle person in the whole Flynn-Fletcher household.

She must have felt his stare, because she soon turned around.

"What?" she demanded, an edge of raw exhaustion in her voice. But there was something  _else_ , too. Something vaguely… defensive? He wasn't sure exactly what she had to be defensive of, especially when it came to him. She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward slightly.

"I practically got struck by lightning again today, alright? It hurt! And I'm tired," she exclaimed, though still keeping her voice low enough to not draw the attention of the rest of the family in the other room. "I'm just gonna go upstairs and go straight to bed. You can tell them whatever you want. I don't care."

It was then that he noticed, seemingly out of the blue, that the horrendous odor of burnt hair that hung so thickly in the garage was missing. He blinked, and looked closer at her in the darkness. No - it wasn't only that stench that was missing. She was entirely clean - with not a single trace of the soot she'd been covered in when he saw her last. Ah - this must be what that 'other thing' Phineas had mentioned did. Ferb hazily remembered building some sort light-based cleaning device a long time ago, but couldn't recall when.

"What do you mean? That's all there is to it," she continued, her voice getting more higher-pitched as she kept speaking. "Alright,  _so what_  if there is more?! It's none of your business anyways."

What was she even talking about now? He wondered. She seemed even more defensive, but he still couldn't pinpoint  _why_ , or of what _ **.**_ Of course, it probably  _wasn't_  any of his business, but it nonetheless piqued his curiosity. What exactly  _had_  she been referring to?

Other than her sudden absence this morning, he hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary. Well, there  _was_ the small incident that had occurred yesterday - Candace being awake before them, and waking them both up early for the day's project. But that didn't have anything to do with this, did it? It seemed unlikely, though not impossible.

She pushed past him, heading straight up the stairs. Standing still on the bottom stair, he listened to her footfalls up the steps and down the hall, then heard the telltale latching sound of a door sliding closed.

So she had gone up to her bedroom after all. Did she even eat anything? She was going to regret  _that_  decision come tomorrow.

With that thought, he continued into the kitchen, where he was greeted by the pleasant sight and smell of dinner.

"Hey, Ferb!" Phineas said, cutting himself off mid-sentence. "That took a while. Did you need my help? I wouldn't have minded helping, you know."

Ferb shook his head. No, he hadn't needed help cleaning - he'd been impeded by other means.

"And where is Candace?" Linda remarked as he pulled out his chair and sat down.

"Oh," Phineas answered. "She's out in the -" Ferb managed to catch his brother's eye before the misleading information was doled out. "Never mind," he finished. "I guess she moved or something. Where is she now, then?"

"She went to bed," Ferb stated. "She seemed unusually tired tonight."

"I hope she's not coming down with something," Linda replied, a worried look crossing her face. "Maybe I should go check on her in a bit."

Of course, Ferb knew that the reason for his step-sister's tiredness - at least on the surface - had more to do with coming home looking like a used-up candle wick than with any supposed illness. Whether there was anything else beyond that he had yet to determine, but he was undeniably curious. It certainly wouldn't hurt if he looked a bit closer to see what could be seen, would it?

_No_ , he decided after a moment's worth of mulling it over.  _It won't hurt_.

Maybe it would be a  _bit_  nosy, but he had more than enough discretion to stop short of actually invading privacy. As long as whatever he looked into directly affected him or his brother, then he was perfectly justified.

"Whatcha doin' over there?" Phineas asked. "I can see you're planning something. Is it for tomorrow?"

_More or less_. Ferb thought, nodding slightly.

Linda raised her eyebrows a bit, but shrugged and went back to eating.

"So, boys," Lawrence said. "Did you hear what happened today at the store with that orange lamp?"

For now, things seemed to be alright. Candace's absence was pretty much the only thing different about the evening. And as dinner was eaten, and the after-dinner activities wound down, he was eventually forced to admit that he'd seen nothing else out of the ordinary. Then again - it was Candace who seemed to be the focal point of it all, so that was probably to be expected.

"Good night!" Phineas said, sliding under his covers and turning out the light.

_Good night_. Ferb thought.

Tomorrow Candace would be back, and he could find out more. Or maybe he wouldn't - maybe whatever traces of trouble he thought he saw would be slept off overnight. That would be fine too.

At exactly six-thirty the next morning, he was unceremoniously roused by the sound of their alarm clock. He opened his eyes and saw Phineas was, as usual, up before the clock went off and already dressed.

"Good morning!" Phineas greeted. "Look how beautiful it is today!" He motioned out the window, where the morning sun was peeking over the horizon, flooding the world with a warm glow. "I've already got a great idea for today. It's gonna be  _awesome_ , just you wait."

_Already?_  Ferb thought, blinking partly to shake off the last vestiges of sleep, and partly in surprise.

"I know, right?" he replied. "But don't worry - it'll be great. I'll tell you at breakfast. Come on, Perry!"

Phineas pulled open the bedroom and waited patiently as the platypus lazily clambered down from the bed and ambled out of the room.

Ferb pulled himself up in the bed, and climbed out, stretching. It was time for another day. What would this one involve? With his brother at the helm, one could never be sure - but that was part of the fun. He stepped over to the dresser and plucked the outfit from the top of the stack within, and stopped to pull a comb a few times through his thick green hair, helping to smooth out the unruly results of sleep.

In a mere few minutes, he was ready for the day. Heading downstairs, he was greeted in the kitchen by his brother, who had already poured out three bowls of cereal.

"And one… and two… and three." Phineas said to himself, laying out three scoops. "Hey there! Let's eat. You hungry?"

_As ever._  He thought, sitting down and pulling the closest bowl over towards himself.

Phineas slid the milk carton across the table. "It's almost empty," he said. "Mom'll have to get more at the store today."

Ferb was sure that she would. They were also running short on bread, and last night's pasta sauce had been the last of the container.

"And apples too," Phineas added, pointing at the bag lying on the kitchen counter. "There's only two left." He paused for a moment. "Anyway, enough about food. You want to hear what I thought of?"

Well, he was going to hear about it eventually, so it might as well be now.

"That's what I thought," Phineas said with a smile. He reached down into his pocket and struggled for a second, squirming in his seat. At last, he produced a small bundle of paper.

Ferb opened his eyes a bit wider. If he'd already drawn up a blueprint, well, that was bit surprising. He wondered what could have induced Phineas to write out the plan so early.

The paper rustled as Phineas unfolded it from the small square. Taking care to not get any of his breakfast on it, he laid it flat on the table.

"Okay," he began, pulling out a pen, "Check this out - I thought of it last night when we were playing  _Monotony_. You know a long time ago when we made that giant version of Skiddley Whiffers?"

Ferb nodded. He did remember that.

"Well," Phineas continued. "It's a been long time since we did that - so I figured it was about time we revisit anyway. Only this time, we can soup it up even  _more_!" He excitedly circled a part of the print with a wide red line. "Think about it! Rocket engines and giant parachutes and hard light holograms and high-altitude board-gaming! What's not to love?"

Ferb ran his eyes over the images on the paper. It  _did_  look interesting. And it would work too - well, that was pretty much a given. He liked the look of this idea, but still wondered just what motivated his brother to prepare the plans in such detail so early. As early as the night before, even.

"Plus," Phineas added, "I figured that after she missed yesterday, it would make a great way to surprise Candace. Like, she'll not know what we're doing - and then,  _bang!_  It'll be this. She'll love it, I just know. This is going to awesome."

Well, it seemed that question had been answered. His brother's mention of their older sister reminded Ferb of the unusual events of the night before. Maybe he could simply ask her what had been going on - after all, a night's sleep has a way of making even the worst of problems fade in intensity. It had to affect him in  _some_  way, right? She had seemed so… agitated at him for some reason, even though he was sure that he'd done nothing to deserve it.

"Is something the matter with the blueprint?" Phineas asked, raising his eyebrows. "I can see you're unsettled about something."

_No._  Ferb thought, giving a small smile.  _The blueprint's fine. It's gonna be great._

Phineas ran his eyes across the long columns of math scribbled down once again, then picked the paper folded it up once more.

"Alright then!" he said. "Let's hurry up and get to it. I'm excited about this one. It's gonna be a lot of fun."

And Ferb was too. All in all, it was already shaping up to be an enjoyable day. They finished the meal quickly, as he listened to Phineas talk at length about the technical details of the hard-light hologram generators that they would need to construct, and other various things, ranging from the weather and what was going to be for dinner tonight, to that time a few weeks ago when the city council had recruited them to renovate the outdoor furniture in the public parks scattered about Danville.

They cleaned up the traces of the meal on the kitchen table, brushed away the traces of the meal on their teeth, and soon enough were ready to head outside and begin the day.

"Candace is sleeping in," Phineas informed him as he came downstairs from the bathroom, and the two headed outside. "She's probably really tired after whatever happened yesterday. But that's okay, because it'll give us plenty of time to get all set up. Then, when she comes out, we can start."

_Even if she doesn't come out till noon?_  Ferb thought, smiling at his brother and shooting him a look.

"Well, I don't think she'll sleep  _that_  late," he replied. "But if she does, I suppose it's nothing a local temporal zone accelerator couldn't fix."

Well, that was fair enough - and exactly the kind of response he'd expect from his brother anyway. He shrugged.

"It'll be like a surprise," Phineas said. "The others will be over soon anyway, so we should at least get all the stuff together."

He was right about that. Well, if the day's project was already established then there was only one other thing that needed to happen before -

"Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!" Phineas announced, reaching into his pocket and producing his phone.

\- and there it was. Well, he'd better go ahead and get their toolboxes from the garage. Even if they were planning on delaying the actual construction until Candace showed up, it was still a good idea to get everything ready. And maybe even  _because_  they were planning on a late start, so that they could minimize the lateness as much as possible.

A good fifteen minutes or so flew by as they worked busily in preparation for the day. Trucks full of supplies were directed to drop their shipments into the yard, and everything was organized just  _so_ , for easy access when the time came. Then, when there was at last nothing else to do, they returned to the base of the backyard tree and sat against its trunk, watching and waiting.

A few minutes passed, and Isabella arrived, right about her usual time.

"Heeeey, Phineas." she said. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Hey, Isabella!" he greeted. "Right now? Ferb and I are just sitting here under the tree."

Ferb watched in slight amusement as she looked around at all the materials and construction equipment scattered about the yard. He could almost see the the struggle between her dislike of the idea of doing nothing, and her omnipresent goal of wooing Phineas as much as possible. Which would win? He wondered. The tension was… not thick at all, honestly. He was probably the only who even noticed.

"Well, that sounds… nice," she finally said. "We  _can_  just talk, I suppose."

"Oh, no!" Phineas laughed. "We're not planning to do this  _all day_  - just until Candace gets out here."

"Oooh," she replied. "That… makes much more sense." She smiled. "But why is she so late anyway? Doesn't she know that everyone's gonna be waiting on her?"

"Well, not right now." He paused for moment. "At least as far as we know - she's sleeping in because, well, it had something to do with lightning I think. Probably artificial lightning, but possibly natural." He shrugged. " The source doesn't particularly matter anyway. I don't think we'll have to wait much longer - it's already almost an hour later than usual."

"Oh, I don't mind waiting," Isabella promptly affirmed, planting herself firmly down next to him. "Like I said… we can talk! I like talking to you - and Ferb, too, I suppose. Hi, Ferb. Are you good today?"

Ferb raised his eyebrows at the greeting. He smiled and gave a small wave. She waved back, but then completely forgot all about him in favor of his brother. Ah, well. Such was the way things worked.

He half-listened to them out of one ear as they all sat and waited.

"Hello, good friends!" Baljeet exclaimed, suddenly appearing at the fence gate. "We have arrived once more!"

"Hey, Baljeet. Buford," Phineas said. "We're all set up for the day, but now we're just waiting on Candace. I'm sure it won't be much longer now."

"Awww… what?" Buford asked. "What're we s'posed to do while we wait? Stand around? That's lame."

"Nah, we're just making conversation," Phineas said. "Isabella's been telling me all about these  _I Saw A Cute Boy_  patches that she's got."

"Is that so…?" Buford remarked. "Well, that still sounds lame. But I ain't leavin' till I see nature bent inta somethin' unnatural. So I guess I'll stay till that happens."

"Oh, don't you worry about that," Isabella cut in. "I've seen the blueprints for today, and it's as good as any."

"Hmmph. I'll be the judge of _that,_ " He crossed his arms.

"Nope, Isabella's right," Phineas agreed. "Ferb knows, don't you?"

Ferb nodded, but still Buford didn't seem convinced. Oh, well. He'd see soon enough - though even then would no doubt still deny it.

"Say," Baljeet spoke up. "Where is Pe-"

"Oh, look!" Phineas interrupted, pointing through the sliding glass door. Everyone turned to see what he was indicating. "There's Candace now. Okay, everybody we're good to go! Let's get this show on the road!"

"Finally," Buford gave a huge sigh. "Oh, yeah, and where  _is_  Perry anyway?"

"Hey!" Baljeet protested. "Oh, never mind. Let us just get started, please."

"Yes, let's!" Phineas echoed, climbing back to his feet. He reproduced the folded blueprint out of his pocket, and began unfolding it once more. "Come on guys. Let's do this thing!"

Ferb stood up and stretched, as ready as any of them for the day to begin in earnest. Buford and Baljeet and Isabella scattered across the yard.

"Okay, Ferb," Phineas said, showing him the blueprint. "Just look over it once more and see if you see any potential issues."

He complied, quickly running over the design and equations in his head, as loud construction equipment started up in the background. Oh boy - who told Buford he could drive that backhoe anyway? Weeeeell, as long as nobody showed up from the future warning about imminent catastrophe, everything _should_  be fine. And speaking of things that were fine, everything on the blueprint looked good to go. He gave his brother a thumbs up.

"Great," he replied. "This is gonna be  _great_."

Ferb looked up from the blueprint to watch as Candace opened the sliding glass and came out into the yard, stopping for a moment to don a hard hat from the box nearby.

She looked around, her eyes flat and vaguely-determined looking, eventually settling her gaze on him. Or maybe on Phineas - either way, she immediately set out towards them.

"Candace - how're you feeling this morning?" Phineas asked. "Any better?"

"I'm fine." she answered, with an odd current running through her voice.

"Awesome! That's great," Phineas said. "So, anyway, check out what we decided to do today!" He turned the blueprint around, and paused for a second as she looked at it.

"I know much you like doing stuff like this, so I figured, since you missed out yesterday, that's what we'd do! I've even convinced everybody to wait for you to come out before we start. I didn't want you to miss a single second of it, you know? It'll be great fun! You'll love it."

Once more, Ferb got a strong sense that  _something_  was going on under the surface, both by the length of time she took to reply, and by the odd expression on her face.

"Sorry - but I can't stay," she said at last. " I'm gonna go do - do my, ah, stuff. You know how it is."

Ferb blinked in surprise. Well, this was an… interesting development, to say the least. He looked at his brother out of the corner of his eye, trying to judge what his reaction to this would be. Not particularly great, if he had to hazard a guess. Then again, maybe he was underestimating his brother.

"Again?" was all Phineas said, but he could easily tell by his brother's tone that he wasn't happy. Now it was just a question of  _how_  unhappy, although that might be more difficult to tell.

"Yeah," Candace replied, with a kind of forced carelessness seeping through her words. "Sorry. I've got other plans." she shrugged.

"What kind of stuff ?" Phineas asked. "Like the same 'stuff' as yesterday?"

"Yeah, pretty much," she answered, sounding less and less sure of herself as she went on. "Just, you know, stuff."

"Like yesterday - but can't we at least help today?" Phineas insisted. "I mean, you won't even say what it's for. Or what you're doing. Or - or anything, really."

The conversation had started to go down the same path it had yesterday morning, Ferb realized. That meant it would probably end the same the way - with a potential clash that fizzled out before it went anywhere, leaving both parties slightly miffed, and forcing the day to begin on a rather subdued note. Though even he would have to admit that he was thoroughly puzzled as to what exactly the 'stuff' Candace kept so vaguely referring to was exactly, that part wasn't really his business to go digging into - not to say he didn't have any sneaking suspicions, either.

Either way, he determined, it was high time he spoke and said something, to see if perhaps he could avert the conversation into a more agreeable path.

"I have a good reason for that, thank you very much," Candace suddenly snapped, crossing and uncrossing her arms.

The unexpected sharp edge in her words surprised him, and made him think that maybe it was best that he didn't get involved. He looked at Phineas again, curious about what his reaction would be. He wouldn't get  _mad_  - not at Candace, and not over something like this. It took a _lot_  to provoke anger out of Phineas, and a few harsh words fell far short of what was necessary - especially when the words came from Candace.

"I'm sorry. It's - it's just, well, it's silly, really. I mean, I know you're around most of the time, but I just thought that after yesterday you'd be ready to stay again," Phineas said. "It'd be fun! It's silly, because I know that sometimes people have other things to do - I just don't know."

Even as he said it, Ferb could see a strange look slowly emerging on his brother's face. It seemed to be a mixture of confusion and worry - and maybe with a hint of nervousness.

"I know it seems kind of crazy to ask after just two days," Phineas rejoined slowly. "But, you do still have fun, right? Like - after you finish… whatever you're doing, you'll come back?"

The question came as a shock to Ferb - and apparently to Candace as well, based on the procession of expressions that flickered back and forth across her face. It seemed a bit strange for his brother to so quickly leap to such a conclusion. Then again, there was certainly  _some_  justification for it in the previous two days, even if basing it on such a short amount of time meant it was a bit tenuous.

Candace stood still and stared at him hard for another second or two, before exploding into a loud waterfall of speech.

"What does it matter anyway?! Why do you care so much?! It's none of your business what I go about doing when I want to! I used to never hang out with you! And you didn't seem to mind then! You just - just..." Ferb could feel his eyebrows moving up his forehead as her heated rant broke apart into weak stammering.

"...just - just...get - get used to - to...it."

Ferb was rendered speechless. It had been a while, but this was definitely a time where even if he had wanted to, he would have been fully incapable of speech. Of course, that wasn't a huge problem for him - no one would have expected him to say anything anyway, and he was certainly not going to speak up of his own accord.

But still… whoa. Though he was fairly certain the outburst had merely been the idle rantings of a mind addled with anger and stress, it had been a bit… much? He could only hope that Phineas was as quick to see that nothing said had really been meant. He glanced back at his brother, and his hopes were dashed as quickly as they had been formed.

Phineas was standing still - perfectly still. His hard hat was now in his hands, but other than that he didn't move or respond at all. And  _that_  was how Ferb knew that, however unintentional it may have been, Candace had struck deep.

_Okay, come on._  He thought, shaking his head slightly at her.  _I get that you're upset over something, but you still can't go around yelling like that - even if you don't_ mean _it._

She just stood there - staring at Phineas, then slowly moving her eyes up to meet Ferb's gaze. For a moment, their eyes met. She took a step back, opening her mouth, but no sound came out. Taking another few stumbling steps back, she turned quickly on her heel and made a break for the fence gate, disappearing beyond it.

Whatever was bothering her, it was definitely a big deal to her. But more and more Ferb was finding himself thinking that it was  _actually_  a big deal. He just didn't know what it  _was_ , but considering who it was affecting, he had no doubt he'd find out eventually, whether he wanted to or not.

He suddenly became aware that they were not alone in the backyard. Three pairs of watching eyes were also present - eyes that, for better or for worse, had seen everything. Ferb could only hope that the noise of the machinery had hidden his sibling's words to each other, otherwise an already uncomfortable situation would only be made worse.

Phineas was still frozen, and completely silent, so Ferb reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. The touch made his brother jump slightly, and suck in a quick breath.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "I, uh, well," He sighed slightly and shook himself. "I guess - I guess we can go ahead and start then." He smiled, but it was the most pathetic excuse for a smile that Ferb thought he had ever seen.

_You know she didn't mean that, right_? He thought, gesturing towards the fence gate, which was still hanging open, swinging gently in the breeze.

"It's fine," Phineas assured him. "I'm sure - sure she wasn't serious. Maybe she was still tired out from yesterday - or something. People say things that they don't mean when they're tired - Or hungry. Maybe she was hungry. She might've not seen that cereal I left out." He looked up. "You don't think she was serious? No, that's silly. Forget I asked."

Ferb shook his head.

_No, it's fine - she obviously didn't mean it. Don't worry, I'm sure that as soon whatever is going on blows over, she'll be back to patch things up._  He thought.

Phineas nodded slightly. "Yeah, you're right - of course. I just - no, you're right."

"Uh, is everything alright over here?" Isabella asked, walking up to them. "I didn't catch everything but-"

Ferb hastily shook his head at her. This was frankly none of her business, and she might accidentally say something that might - well, he wasn't sure what he was worried about really. Phineas obviously knew that nothing had been really and truly meant, but there's a difference between knowing something and actually  _knowing_  something. Even hollow words can cut.

"No, I'm fine," Phineas spoke up. "We're just gonna... be by ourselves again today."

"...okay?" she said, sounding confused. "Wait, why did we even wait all that time then? I thought your sister..."

Ferb only just  _barely_  resisted the urge to face palm.

"Candace - she just didn't want to help today, okay?" Phineas answered, and Ferb looked at him sideways. Had he just detected a hint of frustration in his brother's voice?

Whether he had or not, Isabella seemed satisfied enough with the reply. She skipped away, back over to wherever she'd been before. Probably over by the welding station - she liked to stand over there, which Ferb suspected was strongly influenced by the fact that Phineas could often be found there as well.

"Well, let's get started," Phineas repeated, smiling again - this time a much more convincing attempt, though still not enough to completely waive Ferb's worries.

Still, he nodded and picked up his toolbox from the ground nearby. If anything could help lift his brother's spirits back to their normal heights, it would be embarking on a quest to, in Buford's crude way of saying it, "bend nature inta somethin' unnatural." Crude perhaps, but certainly apt.

Ferb followed suit as his brother threw himself into the project with an almost frightening energy - even for him. The hard-light projectors and rockets were completed in record time, and as they were conducting a test run or two, he noticed that on the horizon, thick dark clouds were collecting. It looked like another summer downpour was heading for the Tri-State Area. Hopefully it'd at least wait until the day's activities were concluded.

And as the day wore on, the morning's brief spat seemed to fade away. Phineas slowly lost whatever traces of disquiet had remained in his countenance, and his normal energy returned in full force. The project was an undisputed success, and nature was indeed twisted out of shape to meet their ends. It was certainly enjoyable as well, and the enormous, airborne hard-light projection of the game board effortlessly supported their weight as they played.

The clouds on the horizon slowly grew in size and number, dimming the afternoon sun. The Mysterious Force soon enough stepped in to the familiar tune of contrived coincidences and improbably coincidental misfortune, curbing the fun and bring the day's project to an abrupt, if expected, end.

Just as the last of the vacuum cleaners and vampire bats disappeared into the ever-thickening cloud canopy, Linda appeared at the wooden fence gate, holding a paper bag from the grocery store in her hand.

"Hey, everybody," she greeted.

"Hi, mom," Phineas said, walking towards her. "You need some help with that?"

"Hey, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher," Isabella chimed in. "How are you?"

A quiet chittering down at his feet drew Ferb's attention.

"Oh, there you are, Perry," he remarked. The afternoon had now officially drawn to a close. He bent down and picked up the lazy animal, and joined the rest of the group straggling behind Linda into the kitchen.

"Oh, I see how it is," she remarked, upon seeing them following her. "Alright, you all just sit tight and I'll get some something out of the fridge."

Ferb sat the platypus down on the kitchen floor, and pulled out his chair, sitting down himself. The excited chatter between the rest of the group quickly died in favor of eating the dessert placed before them. Only once did he see Phineas stealing a glance at the single conspicuously empty chair beside him, but he just as quickly looked away - so fast that if Ferb had blinked at the wrong time, he would have missed it.

As the late afternoon slipped away, after the rest of their friends had left, Phineas settled down on the couch and turned on the TV. Ferb was somewhat surprised, but eventually joined his brother. The afternoon  _had_  been a bit exhausting, and it was good to just relax for a bit, even if Phineas wasn't really watching the show, but more so just staring off into space. He lost himself in the show a bit, eventually spacing off, until the quiet vibrating of Phineas' phone snapped him back to reality. Phineas pulled out his phone and fiddled with it for a few minutes.

"Ferb, look at this," he said after a long period in which only the sound of the television could be heard. He reached out and offered his phone to his brother.

Taking it, Ferb looked down at the text displayed on the screen.

_Today 3:34 PM_   
_Corporate Expense Account charged in the amount of $44,965.32_

_Location: Googolplex Mall, 1 Shopping Center Lane, Danville, USA 63295_

Well, there was only one other person alive who had access to their corporate expense account, he knew. It seemed a bit odd that she would use the card without at least letting one of them know first, but it wasn't  _that_  big a deal. Right? After all, this month's loan payment wasn't due for another good two and a half weeks - there was still plenty of time to make that back.

But still, Phineas seemed bothered about something. Ferb handed the phone back to his brother with a small shrug, wondering what exactly that  _something_  was.

"Oh, it's nothing," Phineas assured him, sliding the phone back into his pocket.

But the tone of voice clearly indicated he had more on his mind. So, Ferb waited patiently for the rest to come tumbling out. It wouldn't be long - Phineas was downright awful at keeping secrets.

"I don't know," he finally continued, sitting up straighter and pausing the TV. "It's weird, right?"

Well, Ferb could name a few things that were weird, yeah. But he was also pretty sure that none of things he would have named would have lined up with Phineas' complaint.

"I'm being super vague, aren't I?" Phineas asked, chuckling slightly. "Yeah, I know. I can't really help it though - I mean, being more specific would require that I be able to put a label on what I'm talking about."

Ferb only smiled slightly, and leaned farther back into the couch. Through the window behind them, he stole a glance at the sky. The clouds continued to thicken since they had come inside, and it looked like rain was fast approaching. The sky was slowly darkening from deep blue to a more ominous shade, boding ill for the pleasant weather that Danville was currently enjoying.

"It's like," he resumed. "I  _know_  that Candace was just upset this morning. And I know when people are upset, they… you know, things slip out."

Ferb nodded. That much was true, yes. But what did it have to do with anything?

"I don't know," Phineas repeated, exhaling loudly. "I shouldn't mind. And I don't, really. But something just… doesn't _feel_  right about it."

Oh. Well, that wasn't anything  _that_  unusual, Ferb thought. It was a  _little_ odd, maybe, but nothing worth making a big deal out of. Phineas was usually more or less completely immune to verbal jabs - they glanced right off him, thanks to either his happy-go-lucky attitude or his general obliviousness to even slightly-hidden meanings. But it wasn't such a big stretch to suppose that, purely by happenstance, Candace had managed to strike deeper than she realized, into a temporary chink in their brother's normally insulating armor. Perhaps the fact that it  _was_ Candace explained it - or maybe Phineas was slowly reaching the point where cheerful obliviousness could no longer completely protect him from the less-than-cheerful aspects of the world? Whatever the reason, he was relieved the trouble was this simply explained away. There were no deeper, hidden complexities that would need to be worked out.

All that he needed was to make up with Candace, perhaps with some apology on behalf of their sister, and he would no doubt be completely restored. It wasn't entirely logical, but when was emotion logical anyway?

As to what exactly was going on with their  _sister_ , well, he still wasn't sure. But that was its own problem, to be dealt with in its own way. And Ferb didn't doubt that it would eventually be resolved, probably turning out be nothing important anyway, really.

Phineas smiled at him and picked up the remote.

"You're right," he said. "I know, I know. I just can't shake it for whatever reason." He shrugged briefly and unpaused the TV. "I'm just being weird again. I'm sure you're used it by now, though."

Ferb couldn't resist a  _small_  smile. Weirdness was the way of the world around the Flynn-Fletcher house. As long as it kept up, everything would be just fine.

Still, a little  _something_  gnawed at the back of his brain. Something that wasn't  _quite_  satisfied with the explanation he'd gotten. Which was odd in and of itself, because what was there to be dissatisfied about?

He slid even farther down the couch, stealing another glance out the window. The sky had completely shifted color into a foreboding greenish hue, and in the distance, the dull haze of rain obscured the horizon. The inclement weather was well-suited to the part of his mind that remained strangely uneasy.

There was no doubt about one thing, though. A storm was coming.


	7. Autonomy Override Ray

The trip to Jeremy's house from the Googolplex had always been a short one. Down the interstate for like a mile, then take the eastbound off-ramp into the suburbs. Three blocks to the right, a turn to the left, and there you were. It was nine minutes via car and eleven if you took the slightly slower city bus.

For Candace, however, it was even shorter than that - thanks entirely to her cell phone's ability to deform the fabric of space and time, instantly transporting her the eight-and-a-half mile distance. As the brilliant purple aura of teleportation faded away, the first heavy drops of rain began to patter down from the sky.

She swallowed hard, looking up at the modest grayscale painted house, reaching all of an unimpressive two stories into the sky. Her eyes instinctively shot to the windows, then to the corners of the walls, then to the bushes growing in the front yard - searching for any possible trace of her long-time tormentor.

The years in passing had not done much to mellow the depth of Suzy Johnson's hate, or even to lessen her older brother's obliviousness to it. What they  _had_  done, was add even more layers of scheming and spite to her plans, which, when factored with the greater amount of potentially harm-causing objects her greater age allowed her access to… well, it made for an often truly terrible combination. The thought alone sent shudders up Candace's spine.

But, for the first time in these past few days, it seemed the universe was taking pity on her. And it  _was_  certainly about time. As her eyes swept the front of the house, she noticed that all the windows were black - no lights in the house were on. It was a small indicator - very small, but present nonetheless - that  _no one_  was home. She could only hope that was indeed the case. Mustering whatever was left of her courage after it'd been put through the shredder so many times while here, she tightened her grip on the helmets under her arms, and cautiously began walking up the sidewalk to the porch.

She stopped short at the front door, gingerly ringing the doorbell. If anyone  _was_  home, this would certainly announce her presence loud and clear. But the silence after she rang remained unbroken - not even the barking of that stupid poodle disturbed the air. She tried the doorknob, and found it locked.

That was alright - she'd known for a while now where the Johnsons kept their spare key. Making every effort to not scratch them, she placed the two helmets down on the wooden rocking chair on the porch, and then hunted for that one board. A few moments pinpointed its location - the strange wood grain clear enough indicator if you knew what to look for. She knelt down and pried it up, revealing the small recess beneath, in the cramped space underneath the porch. The key was there, just as she'd remembered.

Quickly unlocking the door and returning the key to its proper place, she took a breath and loudly announced herself into the entryway.

"Mr. Johnson? Mrs. Johnson? It's - it's Candace. You know, Candace Flynn. Is anyone here?"

But no response came.

_Yes!_  She thought, perhaps getting a bit ahead of herself.  _I'm alone - which means I'm safe. I can actually fix things._

Now there was just the small matter of doing what she'd been sent here to do - rework the technology in the Consciousness Splicer to not require anything to be physically touching the subject. Did Jeremy even  _realize_  what he'd asked her to do? The splicing helmets were already complex enough… converting them into a device capable of remotely projecting the same sort of autonomy-affecting wavelength would require an insane amount of power. She'd have to find some sort quasi-physical medium for conducting the wavelength through ambient air. Perhaps just stimulated light? It'd be like some kind of giant, mind-opening laser ray device.

After all, Jeremy had only specifically said to avoid anything physically touching him. And light? That'd surely be fine - it wasn't  _fully_  something physical, since photons behave like a wave, but they're particles when you reflect them.

So it was settled. Now was just the matter of actually doing it.

Candace retrieved her helmets, and walked into the empty house. Resisting the urge to climb the stairs and poke into Jeremy's room in his absence, she instead set her course for the Johnsons' garage. She flicked on the light and an ancient yellow bulb came on, sputtering and flickering and humming, but eventually casting a dull glow on the room. Ah ha! Over in the corner stood a slightly rusty tool chest.

Opening the chest, she frowned. To say these tools weren't in the best of shape was the understatement of the year. She wasn't even sure that they were all here - and nowhere was there a screw gun to be found. It looked like she'd have to use the manual version of  _that_  tool.

Pulling the decrepit tools from their equally battered storage container, she set feverishly to work. There was no time to get any more materials from the Googolplex - even with instantaneous teleportation to get there and back. She'd have to make do with the other junk piled up in the garage. The end result wouldn't be  _pretty_ , but it would  _work_ , that much she was confident in.

She broke apart two bicycles and a lawn mower, using the scrap that resulted as the base for the device. The receiving-end helmet was summarily taken apart, and its inner workings connected into the large contraption rapidly taking shape in the center of the dimly-lit garage. Sparks flew this way and that, as she worked, hammering, and screwing, and welding, and rapidly working out the calculations for exactly how much intensity the light beam would need to successfully grant free access to mental landscapes, among other things.

The minutes flew by, one after the other, and with the occasional plinking of raindrops on the roof growing more and more constant as time passed. Finally, with just eleven minutes to spare before Jeremy's scheduled arrival home, she finished.

Stepping back to take a long look at her creation, she was… slightly unimpressed by her own handiwork.  _This_  was the device that was to save  _The Plan_? It had seemed a bit more grandiose in her imaginations. Well, perhaps it wasn't that bad - after all, it had been put together from the contents of a mostly average suburban family's garage, along with the insides of two highly-advanced mind-altering helmets.

And honestly, if it was what finally did the deed and set her future back on track - well, it could have looked like a literal pile of bird poo for all she cared.

As she stood there and stared at the device, Candace suddenly became aware of an intense hunger gnawing at her insides. It came up on her like a tidal wave, knotting up her insides in an almost painful manner. When had she last had anything to eat anyway? She'd missed lunch today… and breakfast this morning… and dinner last night. It was no wonder, then.

She should've gotten something to eat while still at the Slushy Burger - but it was too late to go back there now. Well, she didn't think the Johnson's would mind if she just, you know, checked what was in the kitchen pantry? It wasn't like she'd come in  _uninvited_  or anything. And now that she thought about food, the hunger only worsened, easily overruling whatever hesitation she'd previously had.

Leaving the the tools and the ray projector behind in the garage, she returned to the still-empty house, and found her way into the kitchen. So much  _food_! Well, she could at least be polite about it - to some degree. Opening the cupboards and refrigerator, she quickly helped herself to the bread and lunch meat, throwing together some quick sandwiches. They weren't much, but to someone who hadn't eaten in almost twenty-four hours, they were  _amazing._

"Hungry?" a voice behind her shattered the silence, startling her.

"Wha - ?" she stammered, almost choking on the mouthful of food. "Oh! Sorry! It wasn't - like, I swear, um…. I guess?"

Jeremy smiled, shaking his head. "I mean, you could have called to ask first," he pointed out. "But it's fine."

"Oh, yeah. I suppose that's true..." she replied, wiping her face and feeling very embarrassed. "Sorry. I was just, like,  _super_  hungry."

"Well," he said, shrugging it off. "It's no big deal. But, uh, my parents are gonna be back soon, so if you wanna do… whatever the thing your thing does, you know, uh... fix things, I guess? That's what you say."

She nodded, but his words brought a sudden crashing sense of urgency down on top of her. The Mysterious Force. Because the universe could  _never_  let her have anything go right easily. To get so far, and then have the  _Force_  mess things up...that would be the ultimate cosmic slap-in-the-face. And there was no way on earth that she was going to let it happen.

"Come on!" she exclaimed, lurching up from the table. "We've got to hurry! Come on!"

She grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him after her, out of the kitchen, through the house, and back into the garage.

"Whoa," he said upon seeing her creation still standing at least  _somewhat_ proudly in the middle of the floor. "That's…"

" _Behold_!" she declared loudly, her voice reverberating over and over in the confined space of the garage. "It's the Consciousness-Splicer! But better!"

An ear-splitting crack of thunder rolled in the background, and the rain on the roof continued pounding downwards.

Jeremy raised one eyebrow. "Getting into the moment, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she rushed out. She had to hurry - there wasn't much time now. "Just go stand over there."

"And this one won't, you know, torch me?" he asked again.

Gah! Every moment spent  _not_  using the Splicer was a minute wasted - and they didn't have many more minutes to spare. This was  _it_! She could feel it in her bones.

"It won't physically _touch_ you," she assured. "I made sure of that."

He opened his mouth as if to say more, but instead exhaled loudly and shrugged. "Alright. Stand where?"

"There - there - there!" she insisted, pointing to the circle she'd painted on the ground. "Come on!" She stepped around to the back of the machine and lifted the one remaining helmet back onto her own head. "Ready?" She almost didn't care if he was ready, having already begun to flick the power-up switches. After all, once she was done, it wasn't like he would remember this anyway. Which... made it sound like a bad thing, didn't it? It wasn't. It really  _really_ wasn't.

"As ready as I'll ever be," he answered. "Do I, like, just stand here or what?"

"Just stand still!" she said, more loudly this time, to be heard over the humming of the laser ray projector. "You might feel some pressure - like a weak headache or sinus infection! Don't worry!"

_That's just your consciousness being opened up for me to see!_  She added internally.  _And - you know - fiddle with a bit. Just a bit - no more. If it comes to that._

The single yellow bulb in the garage dimmed even more as the Consciousness Splicer sucked away an immense amount of power into itself. The status meter on the backside of it slowly rose from red… into yellow… and green! The humming rose in volume to a fever pitch, drowning out the sound of the rain outside. The light overhead flickered on and off, intermittently plunging the garage into darkness.

But she was expecting this. She'd carefully calibrated the Splicer with the Johnson house's fuse box when building it, knowing full well how much power it would need. She'd designed to be able to tap into the entire house, more or less, draining as much power as was necessary to keep it running, without overloading the fuse box and shutting the whole thing down. It was all very delicate - to the point where even a fraction of a few volts too few or many would would drastically upset it all. That was just the sort of thing that you had to deal with when you were too time-limited to pick up real parts from the mall, and had to instead work with pieces scavenged from a lawn mower and a handful of bicycles.

But that didn't matter anymore. As makeshift and even downright ugly as the machine was - it was working. The garage was lit up once more, not by the rapidly failing light overhead, but by the barrel of the Splicer: the exit point for the mind-altering laser ray. It was glowing - first dimly, but then with rapidly increasing brightness until the whole room was clearly lit.

_And Phineas and Ferb say the technology to meddle with free will is 'too unreliable', 'too impermanent', 'too inefficient', 'too unsafe'._ She grabbed ahold of the start lever, becoming giddy with anticipation.  _I'll show them! It's not_ that  _bad, anyway. I know what I'm doing._

The humming kept growing louder and louder. Candace felt a strange tingling sensation at the back of her head, as the device slowly pulled her consciousness into Jeremy's. Her limbs felt weak, and she leaned on the Splicer for support. It wouldn't be much longer now - she was so close that she could just about taste it.

But that taste - that tantalizing taste of utmost power and unlimited freedom to direct her boyfriend's life back into the annals of  _The Plan_ - would be all she would get. A deafening peal of thunder shattered the air, in an instant drowning the sounds of the Splicer. The light in the garage went suddenly pitch-black for moment, then flickered back on. A shower of sparks rained down from the machine, and all at once she felt a powerful, almost tangible, blow to the back of her head, as her consciousness was forcibly returned to its rightful place as quickly as possible. The sheer force of the impact, as internal as it was, knocked her straight off her feet and onto the ground in a heap.

The helmet fell off and rolled away, sparking and fizzling as it lay on the concrete floor. The Splicer as a whole spluttered violently, coughing up one last weak burst of light, then let out a long, low whine. The stench of burning rubber filled the air, and small puffs of smoke began leaking from behind the panels that sealed off the internal circuitry of the machine.

"No!" she exclaimed, hauling herself back onto her feet and stumbling back towards the control panel. "No no no no no no no no NO!"

This couldn't be happening! Not  _here_ , not  _now_ , not  _ever_! Why? She madly spammed the buttons on the Splicer's control panel, desperately hoping to prod  _some_  reaction out of the machine. Some sort of… something!

But it was useless. There was no response, not in the status LEDs connected to the various part of the device, nor in the indicator screen that had gone completely blank. The entire thing was completely unresponsive, and no amount of crazed lever-toggling or button-slamming was going to jar it back to life.

"Power surge?" Jeremy asked, stepping closer to the machine as she fought to bring it back to life. "That sucks. I guess we should've waited for the storm to blow over if you were gonna just plug it into the wall."

She grit her teeth and said nothing.  _Of course_  waiting would have been preferable. Did he  _not_  think she knew that? But there hadn't been  _time_  for waiting around for more pleasant weather. And there wasn't time for this! His parents would be home soon - they would no doubt be quite displeased with what she'd done. And there was only one way  _that_  could end. They'd call  _her_ parents, wanting to know what on earth was going on. Which, in turn, would lead to the Force... force-ing, as it did.

Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe the surge hadn't done  _that_  much damage to the insides of the Splicer. She snatched up the rusted screwdriver from the place where she'd dropped it.

Quickly unscrewing the largest maintenance panel on the backside of the Splicer, she found it warm to the touch. Pulling it off, she let it fall to the floor, where it clattered to a rest dangerously close to her toes.

Any hope that maybe,  _maybe_ , the damage would be easily fixable was instantly dashed to pieces on the cold, hard rocks of reality. The circuit boards were burnt all to bits, with huge brown and black stains scattered up and down the delicate hardware. Even at the most superficial of glances, one could see that the damage had been ruinous and irreparable. The microprocessors and wires running this way and that were half-melted into each other, with long streaks of gooey, liquid plastic and metal smeared down the internal components of the machine. A burning, acrid-smelling smoke poured out of the panel, collecting on the roof of the garage, causing Candace's eyes to water. She wiped them on her arm, trying to keep her vision clear.

"Oh m- that's  _awful!_ " Jeremy spluttered, coughing at the stench. He crossed the floor and pressed the button on the garage door opener. "We've  _gotta_  get away from this thing. Or at least some airflow in here." He paused mid sentence to cough again, covering his face with his hands. "This isn't gonna stink up our garage, you know, _permanently_  or anything?"

Her grip on the screwdriver tightened subconsciously. He was  _really_  worrying about whether his garage would _smell_? Oh, yeah, because  _that_  was what was important at this point in time. Right, sure. That was important. A possible lingering smell of burning plastic - not the well-being of  _The Plan_ , not their future together, not their future children… not  _any_  of that. Just the… the  _smell._

"I don't  _know_ ," she returned, still doing her best to hide her frustration. "I _can't_  predict the future. At least not with _this_  useless heap of junk." She aimed a kick at the useless Splicer's base. The impact with the hard metal hurt her toes, but the dent she left felt oddly satisfying.

"So you can't fix it?" he asked, waving his hand in front of his face.

"Fix it?" She laughed bitterly. "Can you  _not_  see what I see? No. The closest I could get to  _fixing_  this thing would be melt it all down and reforge it into entirely new parts."

"Oh," he replied, his words coming more slowly. "Sorry. That sucks. Guess we shouldn't have tried to use it during a thunderstorm, hm?"

"Well, it  _would_  have been fine," she muttered. "If I hadn't had to plug it in to get more power so I could project the wavelength through _ambient air_."

Jeremy frowned. "I am sorry about that," he repeated. "But, you know. I also didn't want to get french-fried again."

"Oh, no - it's  _fine,_ " she spat, throwing her hands up in the air. "Because splicing consciousnesses and overriding innate free will is  _soooo_  easy. Just literal child's play - probably why even my brothers haven't ever tried something like this. But yeah. Easy-peasy."

"Wait…" he said. "'Overriding innate free will'? Is  _that_  what this thing did?"

"Yeah…?" she replied, rolling her eyes. "Why? Is there some kind of problem…" her voice trailed off. 

"Well, yes," he stated coolly. "Yes, there  _is_  some kind of problem with that."

Candace swallowed, positive that the temperature in the garage had suddenly dropped. Whoops. That - that wasn't supposed come out.

Jeremy took a deep breath. "Now, I don't want to overreact," he said. "Because I really don't know a lot about how all this stuff works. So I'll ask: what  _exactly_  did you mean by that, anyway?"

"Oh, you know," She bluffed. "It's - it's not like _that_! - or anything. I mean, obviously. It's, uh, well, you know." Oh, crud this was not going well. She needed to get her act together, and get it together  _now_. 

"But I  _don't_  know," he responded. "All I know is what you said. And I'd like very much to hear how wrong I am with what I'm thinking now."

This was  _not_  supposed to happen!  _This_  was the reason she'd wanted to wait until after to tell him - after, when it wouldn't be that big of a deal, and even if it was, - which it wouldn't be -  it would be irreversible anyhow.

"Well - well, yeah," she stammered. "You are! It's, uh, it's - why'd I even say that? That's - no! I don't know why I said that." She laughed - short and forced. "What I meant, uh, I meant, well…"

"Candace," he cut in, the tone of his voice immediately putting an end to her sputtering. "I'd really,  _really_  appreciate a direct answer. And I think I deserve one, too - considering that you  _are_ my girlfriend."

"Of course!" she exclaimed. "Direct answers! Of course. I, uh, I…" She stopped short and took to studying the raindrops falling steadily through the open garage door.

"It's not that hard," he said. "All I want is for you to say that, no, this - this thing you built would not have 'overriden' my free will. You - you wouldn't have done that to me, would you? That's true, right?" There was a slight pause. "Please, Candace, tell me you were - were just making a joke. You  _were,_ right?"

He stared deeply into her face, his eyes burning two large round holes into her mind. She couldn't bring herself meet the gaze. The lie was on her tongue, but it refused to come out. It would have been so easy -  _so easy_  to say it - what she knew he was waiting for. But it still obstinately refused to come out. They were standing there, him staring at her, and her staring at the ground, for what felt like an infinity.

"...no." The admission was so quiet that she almost couldn't hear herself. She looked up at last, forcing on a weak smile.

Jeremy's eyes opened wider, and he took a small step back. "Wh - wh - I…" he stumbled, tripping over himself. " _What_?"

"I'm… sorry?" she offered. "I - I was  _gonna_  tell you, you know… eventually."

"How - what - why?" he managed at last. "What  _possible_ justification - why on earth did this seem like a thing that was  _okay_?"

"I had good reason!" she desperately tried to maintain. "It was for your -"

" _Good_  reason?" he interrupted. "Good reason? To override my  _free will_? To take control of my freaking  _mind_? To turn me into a - a robot?"

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "It  _wasn't_  like that! It was never going to be like that! I'd never do something like that - that's - that's terrible!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he apologized coldly. "What  _was_  it like then? What good reason did you have to do this? What is it, hmm?"

"I didn't actually  _do_  anything," she retorted. "As you recall. There was a certain incident with a lightning bolt."

He reached up and rubbed his forehead, exhaling loudly. "Yes," he said. "That fixes  _everything_. It was only thanks to pure happenstance on the part of the  _weather_  that I was protected from being turned into a mindless - mindless  _zombie_."

"I said it  _wasn't like that_ ," she repeated, growing exasperated. Could he not see that it would've made everything  _better_?! Why just now, randomly, was he being so difficult?

"What was it?" he insisted. "What was so - so… _important_  that you deemed it best to simply  _take_  my ability to  _think for myself_?"

Oh, now that was just going to make an already bad situation worse. No  _way_  was she going to tell him what her intentions had been. To just up and say, 'Oh, yeah, that great opportunity you just got? I don't want you to have it.' Yeah,  _no_. That was - was just  _asking_  for trouble. Not like she already had enough.

"It just was, alright!?" she burst forth. "And I tried other things, I did, I  _swear_. But  _The Plan_  - our future! And our future children, Xavier and Amanda! I had to do  _something_!"

"Yes," Jeremy said grimly. "You  _had_  to do something. And what should that  _something_  be? Oh, yeah. Overruling my  _autonomy_. Because there's  _nothing_  wrong with that. And you didn't even think to mention this to me?"

"I  _said_  I tried other things!" she cried. "This was, like, a  _last-ditch_  effort! It was just - everything else failed! And I just  _couldn't_ let  _The Plan_  fail! I had to save it - and this was the easiest way."

"Oh, of course," he replied, his voice suddenly smooth and serene in a way that brought cold chills to Candace's spine. "The  _easiest_  way. Because in the future you have so carefully laid out, whenever I dare do something that contradicts that 'plan', I just get zapped with a freaking-"  his voice caught painfully "-freaking  _mind control beam_ until I'm back in line. Because, you know, don't worry just talking it out with the person you're supposed to trust. Nah, mind control instead - it's  _easiest_."

"I wouldn't do  _that_!" she protested. "I promise! And you don't  _think_ I tried to talk about - about  _it_? No,  _of course_  I tried. But that would  _never_  have worked - and you've have thought - have thought…"

"I still don't know what on  _earth_  you're talking about," he said. "And I think that it's best that it stay that way." He shuddered for a moment. "Whatever _issue_  you had with me - that was so great and momentous that the best option was to simply remove the  _me_  from the equation… I just - just don't want to know."

Candace swallowed again. Never in the past had she so wished for the floor to simply open up and swallow her. But the Mysterious Force was still.

"It's just…" he started, but stopped short of finishing the thought. Instead he exhaled, long and loud. "I don't know what to  _do_  anymore. I mean, this - this is… I thought you  _trusted_  me?" His voice held a different aspect now. The anger was gone, replaced instead by a dull, hollow tone.

She rocked back and forth, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Rain drummed down overhead, its constant staccato on the roof filling the silence that built up between them. At last she couldn't take it anymore.

"What're you talking about?" she said. "Of course I do! It's just, you know, I tr-"

"Obviously  _not,_ " he cut in. "Obviously not. To the extent that when a problem - and I  _don't_  want to hear what it is - crops up, you think that  _this_  an option. Last ditch, not last ditch, I really don't care. The fact is… you  _did_  think it was an option. And it wasn't even a fleeting thought - you actually  _tried_."

"I…" She awkwardly trailed off, unsure of what to say. Maybe it was best to simply not say  _anything_.

But the silence built up again, louder and louder, until she had speak up.

"I mean, at least there was no harm done?" It was a feeble justification, she well knew. But anything was better than that awful silence.

"No harm done," he mumbled. "Yeah, sure. But not because the person that I thought I knew realized that 'hey, maybe this is wrong!' or 'hey, maybe I shouldn't just take what amounts to a basic human right because  _I'm_  dissatisfied with his decision-making process'." He looked up at her, his eyes wide. "No, I just got lucky, I guess. The weather saved me from… from that. From...you."

"From - from  _me_?" she spluttered in disbelief. "Oh, please. It's not  _that_  a big of a deal. You don't even know _half_  the of things I've been through. I've been shrunk. I've been grown until I was  _huge_. I got turned into  _juice_. I've been frozen - burned - struck by lightning. I got my consciousness transferred into our  _platypus_. My brothers overrode my control of my  _own body_  once - from the  _inside_. You know what that's like? To not be in control of your own extremities? And you know what? I was  _fine_."

"But they left your  _mind_  alone," he said. "They never tried to take away what makes you  _you_."

"Well…" She stalled. Okay, so maybe that was true. Still… he  _was_  making too big a deal out of this, right? It wasn't like she'd tried to  _hurt_  him in any way. She was just trying to help - to make everything better. Why was it so hard to make him see that?

"Well... I won't try again?" she offered. "I was just trying to help - I swear it. But, but I'll just, you know, find some  _other_  way to… you know."

Some other way. Right. Because what way would that be? What other way  _was there_? No way, that's what. Still… she'd say just about anything to bring Jeremy back - back from this frightening quiet he'd suddenly lapsed into.

"I guess we can just call this one a big accident," she said, forcing a smile. "Oops. I won't do it again - promise."

After a lengthy wait, he finally replied. "An accident?" he asked dully. "Candace, when you turned me into a piece of human charcoal - that was accident. And I let it slide - even though it hurt. A lot. But I figured, 'hey, it wasn't intentional.' And it wasn't. So I couldn't hold you accountable. But this…?" He sank down onto the concrete floor of the garage, and leaned against the wall. "This was intentional. The _accident_ was your _failure_. You fully - fully intended to do this and I - I can't just let this slide."

"Wh - wh - what do you mean?" she echoed.

He lifted his head and looked at her. "You tried to override my free will. To rewrite my mind. To take control of what I  _am_ , because for whatever reason, you thought that was better than simply trusting me with whatever was bothering you. How can I let that slide?"

"I mean - I won't do it again?" she repeated, a cold feeling curling up around her gut. "I swear."

"Will you?" he asked. "Because it's not like I would know either way. If it hadn't been for the power surge, I'd never have known at all. You'd have just gone in, done your dirty work, and gotten out. And my whole life, my very existence would have been completely changed - forever. Have you done it in the past? How would I know? I wouldn't. I just _wouldn't_."

"I, uh, it's - it's not - it doesn't work like  _that_ ," she tried to explain, but he held up his hand.

"I  _don't_  care," he said flatly. "Maybe I'm overreacting. I don't know. I'm tired from work, and didn't sleep well last night after what happened yesterday. So maybe that's got me not thinking straight. Or maybe it was just my close brush with having my mind broken open and changed to whatever you decided was right."

He sighed.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll regret this. Maybe not. But, for now, I think - I  _know_  - this. I can't do this. At least for the time being."

_Waaaaaaaaaaaait. WHAT?! Oh no. Oh no. This is_ not _happening._

"Wh - wh - what d - do you m - mean?" she stammered. Surely she was just misunderstanding him. Yes. Surely.

"I mean exactly that," he answered. "How can you expect me to be able to get along with someone who thinks it's appropriate to just up and overwrite my mind? And not only thinks that, but  _does_  it? Really, seriously  _does_  it? Without even a warning - not that that would justify it anyway - but just straight up does it." He shook his head. "That's just so - so  _wrong_! I - I don't even know."

"No!" Candace exclaimed, suddenly grasping the true, terrible meaning of his words. "You can't - no! That's not fair! What about - what about - no!"

"No?" he asked. "Or what - you'll just re-write my mind and make me unable to to make that choice? I'll tell you what's  _not fair_. What's not fair? Suddenly finding out that the person you  _thought_  you knew for almost five years has no qualm when it comes to _erasing your mind_? Why? Oh, well they  _obviously_  know better than you do. That's just - no. I'm sorry, Candace."

She felt as as if time itself had ground to a halt. This couldn't - this - no!  _The Plan_! The future!  _Their_  future! Xavier and Amanda! What about all of that?!

"You - you can't! What about - what about the future?!  _The Plan_?! All of that?! That - that's our  _lives_! You can't - can't just - no - please!"

"That's the thing," he replied grimly. "I  _can_  say 'no'. And I intend to stay fully within that ability. What you did today… I just feel like I - like I can't trust you anymore. How can I? This isn't some silly thing - I'm talking about the  _integrity of my mind itself_. And I can't take any chances with that."

"Wh - wh - bu - no - why?" Her tongue felt like a brick, huge and uncooperative. The words struggled to get past the cold constriction on her throat. What had happened with the Splicer was bad - but this, this was a nightmare.

But it wasn't a nightmare - and that only made it worse. This was real. Jeremy was - he was - was - he was…

Even in thought, the words refused to come.

_Run. Run away. Run far, run fast. And never come back._

But where was there to go? So she remained stock-still, her eyes boring a hole into Jeremy's. Her brain stalled, her train of thought going entirely off the rails into a huge wreck. How could she ever move again?

"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "But no reasonable, fair, normal person could merely take what you did today in stride. And that's me. Reasonable - at least I try to be. Fair - I always did my best. Normal - it's how I was born. And I just can't ignore it either."

There was that word again.  _Normal_. The sound of it caused the breath to catch in her throat. It had finally done it. The impassable barrier between herself and that…  _word_  had finally done it.  _The Plan_  was in shambles - beyond repair. The future was doomed. The sun had permanently sunk behind the clouds, never to rise again.

_Run. Run away. Run far, run fast. And never, ever come back._

The chant drilled itself into her brain - repeating over and over and over, driving her insane.

She had to run. Run where? Where was there that she could go?

Jeremy stared at her for a moment more.

"I'm going inside." he finally said. "There's an umbrella stand over there behind the tool chest. Should be an umbrella inside it." He paused awkwardly. "Please… don't follow me."

And he turned walked inside - back inside the house, the house where she  _was no longer welcome._  Her eyes began… watering - obviously from the acrid smell that still lingered in the garage. She numbly reached for her phone, her fingers feeling like so many thumbs as she tried to fish the small device from her pocket.

_Run. Run away. Run far, run fast. And never, ever, ever come back._

"Well, well, well."

The voice might have once filled her with mortal terror, but now not even  _this_  could puncture the thick numbness that had settled over her, completely insulating her from the outside world.

"What have we here?"

She slowly turned to face her longtime tormentor.

"Awww," Suzy drawled. "Did a little someone tell you to  _bugger off_? How sad. Sniff sniff. My condolences."

Only the drizzling of the rain could be heard, matching the static playing in Candace's brain.

"You know, it's funny," Suzy continued. "All these years I've been doing my best to finally get rid of you. And it turns out - it wasn't even necessary. All I  _really_  had to do was to sit back and wait. I should have known that no one like you could ever  _really_  be a threat to me. And I was right - I did nothing, and you went and  _did it all yourself._ "

Something inside Candace broke.

_Run. Run away. Run far, run fast. And never, ever, ever,_ ever _come back._

She numbly pressed the screen on her phone - and brilliant purple light flickered, whisking her away - off to the Danville Museum of Natural History. For it was  _here_  that she could find that one way of getting away.

Getting away and  _never_  coming back.


	8. Temporal Travel Jetpack

As the long, rainy evening dragged on, even Phineas found himself wishing it would hurry up and end.

He wasn't  _bored_  - that sort of problem would have been easy enough to solve. No, that strange feeling that had been lurking in the back of his mind all day was what was doing it. It was just lying there - like a rock in his shoe or something. Not doing much, but its presence alone was enough to keep him from fully relaxing. And that's what he should be doing, after all. The day's project had gone flawlessly enough, even considering they had been short-handed. The weather had remained clear until after the outdoor part of the day had passed, and the pie this afternoon had been his favorite variety.

_Well, perhaps second favorite._

Still, even the admittedly great dessert hadn't been enough to set him entirely at ease. And now, as he sat on his bed, staring out the window at the rain pouring by the bucket out of the sky, his thoughts drifted back to this morning again.

_Okay, now I'm just being melodramatic,_ he thought.  _I've got to find something to_ do _._

Something to do - yes, that would help. He leaned back slightly and looked around the room, waiting for some sort of inspiration to strike. Well, they could play more board games… eh, the idea just didn't seem as alluring as it had yesterday.

_Well, that_ is _the whole issue, isn't it?_

And it really was. The whole day had just seemed… off in a strange way that he couldn't really describe. No, that wasn't completely accurate. He  _could_  describe it, in a manner of speaking. The feeling was… was like describing that thing they'd discovered that didn't exist. Its very description  _was_  its indescribability.

That's not to say that it was entirely up in the air - there were  _some_  parallels he could draw. It was similar to the feeling he'd had when looking down from the top of the Phineas and Ferb edge-of-insanity kiss-your-butt-goodbye gravity's-a-stone-cold-sucker nightmare rail skate track obstacle course of doom they'd built a long time ago. A sort of creeping unease as he realized that somebody could get hurt.

Which was weird - nobody was going be to hurt  _now_ , after all. What would they be hurt on? The Mysterious Force had already gotten rid of the day's project. Which really was a shame - Candace hadn't got to see the final outcome. She would've loved it, that much he was sure of. He kind of wished there was some way to have kept the Force at bay, at least for a little while.

But unlike time or tide - both of which could be made to wait for the Flynn-Fletcher children - the Mysterious Force could never be stilled. And it's not like he should have cared anyway. The Force had been carrying off their creations for as long as he could remember. Still… Candace had missed it. And not missed  _using_  it, but had missed even seeing it.

_Maybe I should have taken pictures of it or something,_  he realized.

Well, that would have been a good idea three hours ago. As of now, though, it was a bit late to be useful. Obviously they could rebuild it someday, or even just take a very brief trip through time, but it wouldn't be the same.

Phineas suddenly became aware of his brother's presence in the room.

"Hey, Ferb," he said. Maybe this was what he needed. A lively conversation - and not one like the one they'd had downstairs, that had rapidly devolved into him trying and failing to articulate how he felt.

Ferb blinked.

"Yeah, I know. I need to figure out something to do. Can't let a perfectly good evening go to waste because I can't settle down. Maybe I'm coming down with the flu or something."

Ferb shrugged slightly. Well, Phineas didn't really feel like he was getting sick either, but it was another half-decent - if ultimately faulty - approximation.

"Let's just - let's play a game," he said, sliding onto the floor and poking at the space underneath the bed. "Uh, let's see… I don't really want to play Monotony again… and Skiddley Whiffers just doesn't work that well with only two - besides we did just play that one today." He paused. "How much longer do we have before dinner anyway?"

Ferb just stared - making quite obvious that he didn't know.

"Oh, you know," Phineas replied. "I'm sort of hungry. And I can't really settle on anything to do right now. I'm awfully - scattered? I guess."

Ferb pulled out the chair at the bedroom's desk, and sat down, turning on the lamp. He pulled out the roll of blank blue grid paper, and a handful of pencils.

"That's a good idea," Phineas returned thoughtfully. "Plus, maybe an idea for tomorrow will come. We should make it even better than usual, because maybe tomorrow - -" he trailed off for a second, remembering his sister's outburst of the morning.

_No, that's silly. Even Ferb said so - and he's the best at reading people._

Still, he didn't finish the thought.

Sitting down on the chair next to Ferb's, he picked up one of the pencils and made a long, firm line down the middle of the empty paper. Hmm. It could be a ladder? No, how about… the wing of an airplane? Eh, that was kinda overdone. How about... the side of a building - a hotel? Now there was something they hadn't done before. Like a bed-and-breakfast sort of dealio.

He began sketching in the rest of the building. It should definitely hover or something - too many buildings nowadays were rooted into the ground. Wait - who would go to a hotel that was floating?

_That's it!_  He thought.  _If we just change 'floating' to 'flying' and attach a giant thruster here… and here… and here. Then we can propel it into space!_

And who would go to a space hotel? Why, aliens, of course. It would be absolutely glorious.

The sound of pencil scratching on paper filled the room, as the rain drizzled down outside. The light of the day gradually faded into dimness - the colors of the sunset blotted by the thick layer of clouds hanging over Danville.

"There," he announced, setting the pencil down with a satisfied sigh. "How does  _that_  look, hm?"

Ferb nodded.

"I know, right? Oh, I'm gonna show it to Candace and I'll bet she'll have some ideas too. Tomorrow is going to be the best day  _ever_."

He picked up the blueprint from the desk, carefully tearing it free from the rest of the blank roll. But Ferb gestured at the window, abruptly interrupting his plans.

"Oh, yeah. I - I kinda forgot about that." He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "Well, still. It's already almost dinner time, and surely she'll be home for dinner? Or sometime around there."

He neatly folded the large piece of paper in half, and half again, and again twice more, until it slid neatly into his pocket. "I'm gonna go ask Mom when dinner'll be ready," he decided. "Because now I  _am_  hungry, like really."

Ferb smiled slightly, tilting his head.

"Yeah. I do feel better," he replied. Even as he stopped to think it about, the strange unease tried to creep once more into his mind, but now the tide of the evening had been turned. He quickly stifled it and grinned. "Thanks. I needed that - just get my mind off… whatever, I guess."

Turning, he quickly walked from the room, heading down the stairs, and eventually into the kitchen. There wasn't much time left now, and as what  _was_  left slipped away, Phineas remained downstairs, partly to help as much as Linda would allow the preparation of the meal - but mainly to keep an eye on the front door. Candace would be home soon, surely. And he wanted to be the first to say 'hi' - and hopefully be able to put what happened this morning to rest once and for all.

He felt a bit guilty for being so pushy, really. It  _was_  entirely within her right to go where she pleased, and there was no reason she  _had_  to let them know first. She always had in the past - but that was just an extra bonus, not something he should have let himself start expecting, he supposed.

And Ferb had said she hadn't really meant it. Which was obviously true, but he wouldn't feel truly settled until he heard it directly from the source.

But as the time for the meal came, the mud room remained undarkened by any entrance. He reluctantly abandoned the couch and went to eat. Lively, humor-filled conversation and great-tasting food did much to make the time slip by quickly. And as the evening grew later and later, coming closer and closer to the point where it would eventually close, still the missing member of the family remained absent.

"I say," Lawrence spoke up, making circles in the air with his fork. "Candace seems to be out awfully late tonight, doesn't she?"

Phineas was kind of glad someone else had pointed it out. Maybe it wasn't quite so strange that he kept wondering the same thing himself, then.

"She knows the rule," Linda replied. "Home at eleven or you don't leave the house for the next week. Besides, I'm pretty sure that she went over to the Johnson's house."

"Hmm, yes. Well, that is rather likely, I suppose."

"I was just talking to Mrs. Johnson at the grocery store today. And you'd not believe what she told me-! At first I didn't believe her, but she swore it was the truth."

And just like that, the conversation was dropped. Phineas told himself that he'd better not think about it once more - he was just spoiling a good evening for himself. Sitting up straighter, and determining to enjoy the rest of the time before bed, he returned to his food.

As dinner drew to close, and the evening drifted away into the night, the time for bed approached closer and closer - and still Candace didn't return.

_Just relax,_  he told himself.  _What are you even waiting for, anyway? You_ know _what'll happen when she finally_ does _get back._

But most likely knowing would she'd say paled in comparison to actually hearing it. And as bedtime was at last reached, he contemplated the unpleasant prospect of going to sleep with unfinished business hanging between himself and his sister. Mornings were supposed to be happy times - you were supposed to be able wake up and think of nothing but the bright new day. The idea of having the cloud of this morning's events still lurking overhead even in the morning was not appealing in the slightest.

Well, he'd just have to deal with it. Maybe a night's sleep would settle his brain anyway, and really drive home the thing that Ferb had been trying to get through to him all day - that he really should just let it go.

But for some reason, this just wouldn't go away.

And as he lay there on the bed, for a moment he worried that sleep would elude him. After all, wasn't that what happened to people who were worried things? Phineas never worried about much, although there were a few things that bugged him here and there. But sleep did come, though it wasn't quite as restful as normal.

Perhaps it wasn't surprising, then, that his eyes suddenly popped open to a dark room and his brother's quiet breathing in the other bed. Sitting up and rubbing his eyes, he checked the clock. It read 1:03 AM.

_1 AM? Why'd I even wake up this early?_

He wasn't thirsty - and didn't have to go the bathroom. And as far as one could judge their own well-being, wasn't feeling sick.

_Guess I'll go back to sleep, then._

But it was now that sleep decided to play keep-away. As someone who'd never had trouble going to sleep in the past, to lay still for ten minutes without drifting off was unbearably annoying. Something was wrong - something that was denying him rest until it was settled. But what could be wrong - especially at this obscene hour?

_There's only one real answer to that._

Well, shoot. He'd just get up and see if Candace was awake. She was surely home by  _now_  - it was one in the morning, after all. And if she was, maybe he could put all this disquiet to rest once and for all. Stepping gently out of bed, he snuck from the room, and down the hall.

Candace's door was still open.

He peered inside, but even as his eyes adjusted to the early-morning dimness, he could see it was empty. That was… strange. What could she possibly be out doing to not be home by  _now_? That strange unease about safety concerns crept up in his mind again. She hadn't gotten hurt, right?

_Maybe I'll just… call her? That's fair, right?_

It was a bit crazy, if he did say so himself. But something about the empty bedroom unnerved him. It was like staring into the maw of some dangerous project - and realizing that you needed more gear to safely pass. Which was crazy, because there was no danger, and no project.

Still, it was an idea. And it would surely result her putting his discomfort to rest - in one way or another. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn't so crazy after all. More than anything right then, he just wanted to see her and be able to apologize - to smooth out the wrinkles they'd had this morning. All day the clash had left a bad taste in his mouth, and he was determined to settle it before the new morning came. Mornings were supposed to be new beginnings, not messing about trying to resolve old problems.

He returned to the bedroom just long enough to snatch up his phone from the nightstand, then headed downstairs to the living room.

Dialing the number, he held it up and waited for the call to connect. At last, with a  _click_ , it went through.

"Candace?" he said. "I'm sorry for calling you this early, but, well, you still haven't come…"

"I'm sorry," the flat monotone of an automated voice cut in. "The number you've tried to reach is not available at this time. Please try again in a moment. This message is a recording. If you feel that you have reached this message in error, please contact our Customer Services department at…"

Phineas canceled the call in confusion. Maybe he'd dialed the wrong number. Punching the numbers in more slowly this time, he held the phone up and listened again.

"I'm sorry. The number you've tried to reach…"

He hung up again.

Now that was  _really_  strange. Why on earth would she be unreachable? It wasn't like her phone could've died. It ran on the same thing his and Ferb's phones did - pizzazium infinionite, which likely gave it enough power to run till the end of the universe, or longer. Well, that was a _bit_ of an exaggeration, but dying over the space of what, like, twenty hours? Not hardly.

And it wasn't like she could have feasibly left the range of coverage that their special satellite provided. Doing  _that_  would have required traveling a minimum of a quarter-octillion light years away. Or perhaps to another dimension. Maybe she'd just turned the phone off or something? The subconscious feeling of ' _danger_ ' grew stronger in his mind, for a reason that he just couldn't tell.

_There is_ no _danger_. He told himself, sitting down on the couch.  _Candace'll surely be home before the morning. I mean, she'd get in a lot of hot water if Mom and Dad realized she was out all night._

The thought was somewhat comforting, although, at the same time, a little downcasting as well. He was definitely putting _way_  to much thought into this. Clearly Candace didn't realize he was so bothered - for whatever reason - or he had no doubt she would have at least text him to let him know that everything was alright. She obviously thought that he had just been  _logical_ about things and been able to sweep aside this morning's… brief conflict. How could she have known that he would get so uncomfortable over it? It wasn't like he himself even understood the reason why.

_Danger_. His subconscious warned.  _Something isn't right. Beware. More safety protocols are needed._

Phineas sat down on the couch, fully dissatisfied with how this was turning out. Things like this had never really bothered him before - why should they start now?

He reached for the remote and flicked on the living room TV, lowering the volume until it was just barely audible. Maybe he just needed something to take his mind off it. Like television. Yes, because this was a good idea. He idly flicked through the channels, eventually settling on the twenty-four hour news.

"...and that's why the city council decided that Danville's Central Park would be the best place for the new statue. We have a reporter on the ground, live, now, with more details. Tom, how are you?"

That was funny. He didn't remember anything about statues being on the city council's agenda last time he'd been at City Hall with Ferb and Candace. Sitting up straighter, he leaned in slightly and watched, becoming interested despite himself. What had they voted on putting up anyway?

"...thanks, Dick. I'm here at the central park of Danville, where the new statue, appropriately named 'Strange Object' is going to be placed. As you all know, a hundred and seventy-five years ago, when John P. Tristate finally succeeded in uniting the then Bi-State Area with the Adjacent Area, he was rumored to have discovered a strange object - that records from the time described as a sort of horseless carriage. Of course, the actual object was supposedly many billions of years old - and also got destroyed in the subsequent Battle of Danville a decade after, but it's been recreated out of granite based on several illustrations found in historical records. This was funded by the Danville Historical Society and the Danville Tourist Association. Come to Danville! We have grass, milk, and smiles. Anyway, back to you in the studio, Dick."

"Thanks, Tom. Well, for you folks still up watching, we've just gotten in some pictures of the upcoming statue. One moment, and we'll put them up for you."

Well, this would be interesting. Phineas had never heard of this before. Strange objects? That resembled 'horseless carriages'? From a period of time almost a decade before the car was really and truly invented? He waited patiently as the news anchor looked off into the distance beyond the camera.

"Okay," the anchor continued. "And here they are."

The screen filled with an image that almost made him do a spit take. Could it be…?

It was indeed similar to a carriage - with a reclined place to sit. Oval protrusions jutted out from the top and sides of the carriage. A carriage with skids instead of wheels. And a long ruler-straight stick poking from the interior of the floor.

"Isn't it strange?" the anchor asked. "And we'll never know what it was for - or even if it really existed. Well, it's 1:30, so here's chief meteorologist Harry with the weather."

But the rambling of the weather forecaster fell on deaf ears. Because Phineas knew what that object had been for - and he definitely knew that it had existed. There was one way to make absolutely sure. He reached down and picked up his phone, surfing to the built-in navigator. Pinpointing the Danville Museum of Natural History, he pressed the green button on the screen.

"Beginning route to Danville Museum of Natural History. Estimated length of trip: zero minutes and zero seconds."

Bright purple light flashed, temporarily blinding him.

"You have arrived at your destination."

He stood still for a moment, letting the spots fade from his vision, before setting off down the museum's abandoned halls. The tiled floor was silent beneath his bare feet as he walked alone through the dark corridors. Turning right, into the Gadgets Through The Ages exhibit, his suspicion was abruptly confirmed. The low white pedestal for the familiar time machine was noticeably empty. He stepped up to the pedestal and poked at it with his foot.

"If the time machine was destroyed in the Battle of Danville, why was this pedestal placed here? The time machine never arrived here."

A curious, sort of rubber-band-snapping sound echoed loudly as, in a puff of logic, the pedestal simply ceased to exist.

And that confirmed it. It  _had_  been the time machine that someone had taken - and let get destroyed in the Battle of Danville. And that someone was probably Candace. It made perfect sense - why she hadn't come home - why her phone was unreachable.

_And why the past changed around us,_  he thought.  _That's kinda the most telling piece of evidence._

Why had she gone without them? Or without at least  _telling_  them? He wasn't sure - and the idea that she'd done so kinda felt uncomfortable. Time traveling wasn't exactly the safest thing in the world - it was always better to travel in pairs, at least.

And the time machine had been destroyed, apparently, in the Battle of Danville. She might be trapped in the past, unable to find enough materials to rebuild the machine to get back. He had to do something - his sister needed help. And help he was going to provide.

_In a 'timely' manner, too,_  he thought, smiling slightly despite the gravity of the situation.  _First I've got to find out when she went._

That wouldn't be too terribly hard. There was a handy little gadget they'd built called a Quantum Displacer that could detect the wrinkles left in the space-time continuum by the effects of time travel. It was at home right now - sitting on the top shelf of his desk. It looked awfully similar to a walkie-talkie, which was probably why the Mysterious Force had so far left it alone.

He pulled out his phone again, and with another flash of light, was whisked off homewards. Creeping back up the stairs, he retrieved the Displacer from the shelf. He paused as he did, debating whether or not to wake Ferb and bring him along. But it was late - or rather, early - and no doubt he'd rather sleep.

_If I_ do _end up needing help, I'll leave myself a note yesterday - and I'll put it, uh, under my pillow._

He lifted the pillow, but no note could be found.

_Guess I can handle it myself then. I'll tell him all about it at breakfast._

He stopped at the dresser to quietly change from his pajamas into attire more fitted for time-traveling, then returned downstairs.

"Guess I'll have to build my own time machine," he said aloud, his own voice giving him a slight start. "That won't be too hard. Depends on what's in the garage, I suppose."

He paused just a moment more to make sure that no one else was stirring, then quietly slid out of the back door and into the garage. Retrieving his toolbox, he sat back and looked at the general clutter lying around.

"Hmmm," he mused. "Doesn't look like we have any pizzazium infinionite around here. Well, where gravitron warping fails, wave capacitation will suffice. One way or another, causality is getting violated tonight. It's a good thing I've still got these leftover electron conduits."

He paused momentarily, piecing together a detailed, if crude, plan in his head.

"Well, if I stick the capacitor on the back of a jetpack, I can easily overcome the speed requirement necessary to fully compress the continuum's flux waves. Plus, flight will make it way easier to find Candace when I  _do_  get to whenever I'm going. What do you think - oops."

Right. He was alone for this one. That was fine, really it was. It'd just take a bit of getting used to. And once he found Candace, he'd not be alone anymore anyway.

The minutes of the early morning flew by as he set to work - fusing and welding and screwing and programming and testing and more calculating and more testing and more calculating because Ferb or Candace was usually here to help and doing it by yourself was a good bit harder. But at last he found the mistake in the math - and with a simple adjustment, the tests started coming back positive. The nuclear reactor in the pack thrummed steadily, and the capacitor glowed brightly in the dark backyard.

"And - done!" he announced at last. "Ferb - oh. Never mind then. Now to find out when I'm going."

He pulled out the Quantum Displacer and fiddled with the dials and knobs on the device.

"Find me time travel trips," he told the device. "Ones that departed from today - and went elsewhen."

"Searching continuum," the device responded. "One result found matching query."

Perfect. This morning's excursion was already shaping up better than he'd hoped. "Give it to me, then."

"Time travel trip matching description departed from the year A.D. two thousand and twenty one for the year B.C. nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine…"

Phineas raised his eyes slightly as the device continued repeating itself. He quickly counted the number of nines on the screen, then whistled to himself. "Ninety-nine  _quattuordecillion_  years in the past?"

What on earth could Candace have wanted that had led her to such an absurdly long time ago? That wasn't just distant past… that was the distant past's distant past. The prehistory of prehistory - and probably more than that. It was more years in the past than there are atoms in the entire earth - like, multiple times. Well, if that was when she went, that's when he would go as well.

He punched the destination year into the panel affixed onto the jetpack, then slung it over his shoulders. Tucking the Quantum Displacer into his pocket, he gunned the engines, and rose up into the air. It was time to go find his sister, whenever she was.

Opening up the jetpack's throttle, he shot off through the sky, going faster and faster. The space-time continuum's flux waves grew more and more compressed as his speed grew greater and greater. The capacitor bolted to the jetpack glowed brightly, sparking and crackling. At last the compression of the flux was too great for the continuum to maintain - and the capacitor kicked into high gear. In a furious ball of electrical flashes and bright white light, causality was shattered down to its core, and Phineas Flynn was sent hurtling through time - heading ninety-nine quattuordecillion years into the past.

The ball of light and electricity exploded into the atmosphere of the extremely distant past. He was here.

_Well, what do you know?_  he thought.  _It's not all that much different than that time we went to just a few million years ago. Noticeably fewer dinosaurs though. Eh, that's probably for the better._

He slowed the jetpack down to a crawl, eventually coming to a complete stop in midair, surveying the landscape. As far as he could see, dark, rocky soil stretched endlessly to the horizon, dotted here and there with thick clumps of strange-looking trees and grass. There was no immediately visible sign of Candace or the other time machine anywhere.

So it was good he'd brought the Quantum Displacer after all. Struggling a bit to worm it out of his pocket while hovering, he eventually worked it free.

"Alright, computer," he said to the device, "Let's track some recently-used time machines before the continuum structure around them returns to normal - and preferably not the one strapped to my back."

"Searching for time machines matching query," the device returned. "One time machine located, three-point-three miles southeast of your location."

Perfect. That had to be Candace, after all, who else would have a time machine  _and_  come this far back in time? Orienting himself with the Displacer's directions, he gunned the jetpack's engines once more, heading off into the sky.

The less-than-four-mile distance quickly fell away beneath him. It wasn't long before, over by a particularly thick group of those odd-looking trees, he spied the familiar red-and-gold colors of the museum's time machine. Well, this had been a lot easier than he'd expected. It made sense that it would, to be fair. They  _were_  ninety-nine quattuordecillion years in the past - and probably the only living beings in the entire universe at this point, aside from the plants scattered here and there.

Pulling back on the throttle, he gently brought the jetpack to the ground, touching down with a soft  _thump._

"Candace!" he called out.

But no reply came.

He walked up around the machine and looked inside expectantly. But it was empty.

_Wait a minute - i_ _f the time machine is empty - where_ is  _she_?

The Quantum Displacer wouldn't help here. It'd be up to him to figure it out. He took a deep breath and held it, becoming absolutely still and quiet. The wind gently stirred the leaves and branches of the trees growing nearby. But there were no other sound - wait, not quite. What was that? A distinctly unnatural sound had caught his ear.  _That_  had to be her - and it was coming from over there, under those trees.

He quickly set off in the direction of the sound, striding determinedly over the rough dirt that made up the ancient ground. The sound came again as he drew closer - and again. At long last, his search efforts were rewarded, and as he rounded a particularly thick tree trunk, he caught a flash of brilliant red. And there she was. Well, this adventure had already drawn to a close, it seemed.

He picked up the pace towards her, and took a breath, preparing to shout and gain her attention. But, before the excited exclamation could get out, that odd sound came again - and now that he was so much closer, it was much clearer. It was a funny sort of sound, halfway between a choke and gasp for breath and sob all at once. And it immediately drained him of all his enthusiasm, replacing it with an intense curiosity tempered with a strong sense of worry. What was going on?

He instead walked up quietly, not announcing his presence at all, trying to get a clearer view of the situation. What he saw, well - it wasn't what he was expecting, not in the slightest.

Candace was slumped at the base of one of the trees, with her head down on her knees, and her face in her hands. Her shoulders were trembly, and every so often she'd take another one of those gasping breaths.

Phineas felt all his curiosity disappear in an instant. Candace - she was upset. Over something, maybe, or someone. It didn't really matter at that point in time. Something had happened to her - something that made her react like  _this_. And that - that just wasn't okay. He had to do something to help. He'd have hated to see  _anyone_  look so… desolate? But Candace? Something about the scene before him brought back the strange feeling he had earlier this evening - the sort of queasiness in his gut that made him feel like he was coming down with the flu. No fever, but other than that, pretty similar.

But, illness or no, he could get over it later. Obviously Candace was feeling much worse - and he was determined to make it better.

"Candace?" he asked, his voice subconsciously coming out much more quietly than was his norm.

She gave a small start, and looked up from her hands. And just like that, he was in for another surprise - and not the pleasant kind.

When he saw her face, it was just - it was awful. Her eyes were bright red and swollen, and long red streaks traced their way down her face, framed with her wildly disheveled hair. The whole thing was a perfect picture of misery - and it made him feel just terrible. It was then he  _knew_ , even more than before, that he had to do something - anything - to make it better. Seeing her look like that - it just - he didn't know how to feel. Pity? Sure, he was feeling pity. Empathy? That too. But this was… different, in a way he couldn't describe.

He slid the jetpack off his shoulders, letting it fall to the ground. The complicated device sparked loudly, complaining at the jolt, but he didn't care. It was easily fixable anyway.

"Should've known you'd find me," Candace muttered, burying her face in her hands again. "Go away."

Go away? What? That - that would definitely not be happening any time soon. Instead, he stepped closer, and sat down across from her, leaning back on the rough trunk of one of the ancient trees.

"What happened?" he asked.

"It's none of your business," she said through her hands. Her breath caught sharply again, and a tremendous shudder shook her up and down as a stifled sob forced its way out. "Go away."

For a moment, he merely sat and stared, unsure of what to say. Something needed to be said, that was as plain as day, but  _what_? "Are… are you okay?"

Alright, it was admittedly a stupid question. But still - it was the best thing he could come up with off the top of his head. He wanted to help, oh so badly, but just wasn't sure _how_. Maybe it would have better to have brought Ferb after all. He was just so bad at this kind of thing.

"Am - am I  _okay_?" Candace choked out. "No. No, Phineas, I am not  _okay_." She stopped and sniffled, wiping her nose.

Once more the conversation ground to a halt as he cast about for something to say - something that would actually  _help_  this time. "Is - is there anything I can do?" he finally settled on.

Another long silence passed, broken only by the sounds of Candace doing her best to not cry, but failing miserably anyhow, as evidenced by the drops of liquid that oozed from between her fingers. He just wanted to go over and hug her and not let go - not until she felt better. That was what he did, on the rare occasions when he was feeling down, though it was with Perry and not his sister. But it should work the same way, right? Or maybe he should have brought the platypus instead. No, that was crazy - trying to use a time-traveling jetpack while juggling a platypus would have been a nightmare and -  _agh_. He grew a bit frustrated with himself at his inability to help. He just wanted to do  _something_ , anything - anything but sit and stare miserably across the two feet of space between them.

"No," she eventually spoke up. "No, there's nothing you can do. Or anyone." Her voice peaked higher and higher as she continued. "I - I was so  _stupid_! I ruined  _everything_! And now - now - now it's all over."

Phineas blinked at the outburst. "What - what are - what do you mean?"

"She was right!" Candace exclaimed, with a ferocity that took him aback. "She was right! After all that time… she was right. I can't… I'm just…" She put her head down and sobbed.

He reached a hand forward, but then drew it back, unsure how the gesture would be received. "Who - what do you mean?" The question was a safer course of action anyhow.

There was another long moment of silence, in which he almost made up his mind to just scoot closer and sit next to her, but he hesitated long enough that she eventually looked up mournfully.

"What does it matter anymore?" she asked, though the question didn't seem to be directed towards  _him_. "I've wasted -  _wasted_  - like five years of my life trying my best to keep everything all nice and neat and - and - I had to go and ruin it  _all_! Suzy - she was  _right_. I'm just not - not…" her voice trailed off into nothingness.

"Suzy? As in Suzy  _Johnson_?" Phineas asked, the words slipping out before he could stop them. That was… not what he'd expected to hear. But it was something, something concrete and real - something he could work with. How Jeremy's little sister had managed to upset his sister so, he couldn't quite grasp, but at least he'd gotten  _somewhere_. And here was something he could do, something tangible he could affect.

"It doesn't matter!" Candace exclaimed, choking on a mouthful of air. "After - after what I did…" she stopped and trembled. "He'll never -  _never_  - want to see me again. And - how can I live with that?  _The Plan_  is ruined. My future is ruined. It's over! It's over, Phineas."

He frowned slightly. Something about her words disagreed entirely with him. How could she say the future was ruined when it hadn't even happened yet? That was part of the lure of the future - new beginnings, where you could forget about bad things that went on in the past. His thoughts briefly flashed to the plans for the space hotel he'd left at home. On second thought, that could wait. This was more important.

"Why - what happened?" he asked slowly. "What happened to - to  _ruin_  the future?"

If this was some sort of time travel paradox where the future had been ruined  _that_  way, she wouldn't have reacted like  _this_ , right? It had to be something else - but what could it have been that would trigger her to simply up and label the entire future as  _ruined_?

Candace rubbed her eyes, even further adding to their redness, and snorted. "You still don't get it, do you?" she asked bitterly. "Jeremy  _broke up_  with me. Because I'm an  _idiot_. And thought that - that I could - I was just trying to  _fix_  it, Phineas!" Her almost angry tone lapsed back into a deep sadness that was so pitiful it melted through him in an instant. "I was just trying to make everything  _better._  I didn't - I wasn't thinking. And I - I ruined it all."

His eyebrows rose up his forehead. So  _that_  was the root of the issue then? Well - it made sense, at least. Something inside him deflated as the tension slowly drained. Nothing had happened that would have put anyone in physical danger. It was purely  _emotional_  - which he was not really equipped to deal with. He'd not exactly gotten to know Jeremy Johnson more closely than passing conversation here and there - and although he'd always thought of his sister's boyfriend as a nice person, Phineas couldn't really say much more than that on the subject. But maybe his fleeting impressions had been wrong - maybe he wasn't so pleasant after all.

"What - what did he do?" Phineas asked quietly.

He hoped with all his heart that no line had been crossed - but if one  _had_ , well, Phineas could soon teach him exactly why you do not cross lines drawn by people for whom the laws of physics and nature do not apply. It wouldn't be pleasant, but for some things, pleasantries just will not do.

Candace sniffed again, and rubbed her nose, which was starting to run. "He didn't do  _anything._ " she replied weakly. "It was all  _me_. I - I was such an  _idiot_."

Okay, he'd had about enough of that. If he had to hear that one more time...

"Candace, you're not." he said firmly. "I don't know the whole story, but I  _am_  completely sure that that is  _not_  true."

She looked up at him and sighed heavily. At least for now, the tears had ceased to flow. "That - that's nice of you." she remarked dully. "But you weren't there - and you don't know the whole story." She paused to wipe her nose again. "I tried - I tried to  _brainwash_  him, Phineas. With a mind-modification beam. And - and - and  _of course_  he broke up with me because that's so  _wrong_  and  _why_  didn't I realize that before it was too late? It's just - I - I -" She stopped, and her eyes began filling again, breaking down the last little bit of his self-control that had somehow managed to survive thus far.

He slid across the dirt until he was right next to her, and laid his hand on her back. "Candace…" he started, his voice drifting off as he ran out of words.

"See?" she pointed out, lifting one arm in a listless manner and gesturing off at the horizon. "See? Even  _you_  can't think of something to justify it. Because you  _can't_. It's  _wrong_. But I just  _had_ to go do it anyway, ruining - ruining  _everything_ , and now - now -" she hiccuped loudly and buried her face in her hands.

He had to say  _something_. Whether or not it would be the  _right_  thing, only time would tell. But he couldn't just let her sit here like this - the very thought filled him with a wave of revulsion that was usually reserved for such things as zucchini.

"Candace," he started again. "I still don't know the whole story - so I can't be for sure whether anything I say will be applicable or not. But you're right. It isn't right to try and brainwash people - and I can't deny that." He hesitated for a moment before forging ahead. "But everyone does things that aren't right. I've done it - Ferb's done it - everyone has at some point or another. But, well, you can only do so much to make up for those things sometimes. And sometimes, no matter what you try, some effect of your mistake still lingers. But you can't let those things get you down. There's the future in store for all of us - and the future is what we make of it. Maybe you can't fully make up for a mistake you made. But those things have to stay in the past. Because tomorrow will always be a new day - and you get a fresh start."

He stopped again and took a breath.

"You don't understand." she said, her voice hoarse, her eyes bleary. "This wasn't just some  _mistake_. This was - was me singlehandedly destroying the past five years of my life - and all the years to come. Don't you get it?" She looked up at him, her eyes wide and watery. "He  _broke up_  with me, Phineas. I  _ruined_  it. He probably never wants to see my face again - and why should he? I tried to alter the very base of  _what he is_. And without him - my whole future is ruined. I had - had this  _Plan_ , and it was going to be so great, and - and…" She shuddered uncontrollably and leaned into his shoulder.

"I don't know." he answered solemnly. What else was there to say? He really just  _didn't_  know. And wasn't honesty the best option? He'd never wished so hard that he knew something else to say - but all the wishing in the world wouldn't help right now. "You know that I don't. All I can say is that - sometime in the future - it  _will_  be alright. There'll be someone else, someone better, even."

Another long silence hung over them, and Phineas grimaced slightly, afraid that he'd said something wrong. He was in way over his head here, and hoped she knew that.

"No, no there won't be," Candace answered at long last. "Who would dare? After what I did? Nobody, that's who. Nobody's gonna want to go out with the crazy girl who tries to use mind control to - to get her way. I've ruined it for myself. Nobody's ever gonna want to turn their back on me again."

" _I_  would," he said.

"But  _why_?" she insisted, leaning back and sighing heavily. "Why? Why should you? When any minute I could just up and try to rewrite your mind? How - how could you  _ever_  want to be around someone like that?"

"Well, I just  _do,_ " he answered, frowning slightly. "I don't think that you  _would_  do that - even after what you've told me. You're my sister, Candace, and I love you - and I know that doing what you did may have been wrong, and I also know that it happened in the past and can't be undone. And those things - well they have… repercussions, sometimes. And that can  _suck_  - but what can you do? What you've got to realize is that the morning is coming. I don't know how long the night will be - that part is up to you. But morning  _is_  coming, and all those things in the past will eventually be nothing more than that."

He stopped briefly and traced the hazy outline of the ancient horizon with his eyes.

"And until the morning  _does_  come, whenever that may be, you can rest assured that I'll be here for you - as will Ferb, I'm sure, and Mom and Dad. It'll take time, but that time  _will_  come to an end - eventually."

He paused again as she leaned back on his shoulder, trembling slightly. "And when it  _does_  come, we'll all be there too," He continued, taking a deep breath himself. "It'll be okay."

"Do - do you really think so?" she murmured quietly. "Because now… it - I don't know."

"It's not a matter of thinking," he responded. "I  _know_  so."

A warm breeze whistled softly through the fibrous grass and tree canopies all around. He waited patiently for some response, but more and more time passed and none was forthcoming. Eventually he turned to look at her more closely and realized that she'd fallen asleep. Checking his phone, he surprised to find that it was already three in the morning. No wonder she'd gone to sleep. At least she'd managed to calm down enough to do so - it would be good for her.

He let out a long, low breath. Only time would tell whether he'd actually managed to help - and how much if so. The next few days - weeks, even - were going to be a difficult time, that much even he could tell. But that was then, and this was now. He sat there for a while longer, leaned back against the tree, listening to the breeze and the dead silence that lay like a blanket over the whole world, unwilling to move for fear of disturbing her.

But eventually he realized that they had to return home - he was fast growing tired as well, and it wouldn't be wise to fall asleep here, ninety-nine quattuordecillion years in the past. Although the world  _seemed_  abandoned, it still wasn't safe. That was time travel for you.

Moving ever so carefully and quietly, Phineas slowly worked himself free of Candace's weight, leaning her back on the tree. He walked the short distance back to the big time machine and pushed it across the ground until it closer to the place they'd sat. The skids of the time vehicle scraped protestingly across the dirt, leaving long ruts in their wake, but gradually the gap was closed.

As gently as was humanly possible, considering by how much she outweighed him, he lifted Candace from where she slept and deposited her in the back seat of the time machine. He retrieved the jetpack from the ground and placed it on the floorboards, then climbed into the driver's seat. Resetting the destination back to the present, he pulled the lever, and with a brilliant flash of purple light, the time machine was whisked off through the eons of time.

The first stop was home, where he painstakingly returned Candace to her own bed. It wasn't as quite as hard as all that - what with teleportation technology and all, but it was certainly not  _easy_. The same technology allowed him to easily return the time machine to the museum where it belonged. The pedestal was back at the museum as well - the slight changes in the timeline that had been wrought by Candace's trip had apparently been averted by  _his_ trip back.

_She didn't intend to return home at all,_  he realized.  _That's why the time machine was still present at the founding of the Tri-State Area and the Battle of Danville._

Returning at last home, and trudging up the stairs for the last time, he stopped at the bedroom window. It was half past five in the morning by now - and apparently the storm had rained itself out while they'd been in the past. The first hints of sunrise were already tinting the eastern horizon with the faintest splashes of red and orange against the dark sky.

It was a good thing he'd gone back, he decided, as he collapsed onto his bed. There weren't many things worth risking temporal erasure by traveling into the past over… but this had certainly been one of them.


	9. Space Hotel

The morning after the fateful trip through time, Phineas was awoken by a gentle shaking.

"Phineas? Are you feeling okay?" Linda's concerned voice came.

He slowly opened his eyes and yawned loudly, rolling over in the bed. The bedroom was brightly lit by sunlight streaming in the window, and the clock on the nightstand read 10:23 AM.

"Wow," he remarked, stretching. "I... slept late."

"You certainly did," she replied. "And you slept in your day clothes…?"

He glanced at himself, and saw that it was indeed true. Suddenly, the memories of the night before came rushing back in a flood. Oh yeah... that would explain why he'd slept so late. He turned to check the other bed, but it was empty, and already neatly made up. Which was to be expected, after all. 10:30? Neither he nor his brother had slept this late in years.

"Are you feeling sick?" Linda asked again, bending over and putting her hand on his forehead. "Well, you don't  _feel_  warm."

"No, Mom," he said. "I'm not sick. Just - really tired I guess. Went time traveling last night - to a  _really_  long time ago."

"Is that so?" she answered, straightening. "Sounds like some dream. Well, I'm heading off to the store now. Oh, yeah - I almost forgot."

Phineas sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, straightening his wrinkled shirt. "What is it?"

"Your sister is feeling a bit under the weather this morning."

Oh yeah indeed. His thoughts flicked back once again to the events of the night before. Had he actually helped any? He'd definitely done his best, but the whole situation was an extremely finicky one. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Well, like, I know what you  _mean_ , but… what's going on?" He shook his head. "As in… what's happening at the present time?"

Linda raised one eyebrow in amusement. "Well, she's still asleep in bed, if you mean like that." she answered. "I was afraid that you'd both got the bug, but it seems like it was just her."

Wait, Candace was sick now too? No, maybe his mother was just mistaken.

"She's not sick," he hastened to explain, wanting to put her mind at ease. "At least not unless she caught something between last night and this morning." He paused for a moment. "Unless there was some sort of strange proto-disease floating around in the ancient past… nah, then I would have probably gotten it too."

Linda half-smiled, a confused look coming over her face.

"She got in a fight or something with Jeremy," he continued. "As far as I understood. And they - well, they broke up."

Her eyebrows moved visibly up her forehead at that piece of news. "I - I did not expect that at all - and she told you all this?"

"Last night," Phineas answered, nodding. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, and his eyes grew wide. "Oh, no - I just realized. She might have wanted to - have not wanted anyone else to know yet." He grimaced slightly. "Oops."

"Don't worry." She replied with a smile. "I can keep your secret. I - wow. I certainly didn't see  _this_  coming." She stopped and tilted her head, thinking. "It's a bit… funny? that she went to _you_  with it, but if it works for her, I suppose it's all good. Better than bottling it all up anyhow." She paused for a moment, looking up at the roof. "I wonder if she's gonna get rid of that shrine in her closet now. Ah, well. Everything in its own time." She noticed him staring and shrugged slightly. "Sorry. Thinking out loud. Well, I'm gonna be off now. Errands are calling. See you this afternoon. And do be… tactful around Candace today, I guess. I remember having teen breakups. They're not fun."

He nodded and flashed a grin as she left the room. "I will, Mom. Don't worry."

Stepping over to the window, he peered out into the backyard. As one might have expected, it was already buzzing with activity. It appeared that Ferb had decided to follow the blueprint they'd drawn up last night. He spied his brother under the tree, poring over another blueprint of some sort. Ferb must have felt his stare, because at that moment he looked up and their eyes met. Even from across the yard, Phineas could see his brother blink and give a thumbs up. He nodded and smiled back. Late or no, if he hurried, he could still make it out in time.

Pulling on his socks and shoes, he left the bedroom and started down the hall. Unlike last night, the other upstairs bedroom door was firmly shut. He headed past it and was halfway down the staircase when something made him stop.

He remembered very clearly what had gone on last night now. He recalled the heartbroken sobs that he'd heard and seen coming from his sister, as he'd done his best to make sure that she knew that the world was indeed not over. And a part of his brain was telling him:  _It's time to finish what you started._

That was just the way with him - never starting a project unless he was sure that he could bring it to fruition. And helping Candace deal with her apparent breakup easily fell into that category. He'd begun it last night - and he'd see it to the end.

He turned and retraced his steps back up the stairs and to her bedroom door.

"Candace?" he asked, knocking on the door. Despite listening with all his might, no response could be heard. Well, alright.

He set his hand on the knob and hesitated briefly, not fully willing to open the door without permission from its occupant. But his mother had already been inside, so it had to be okay, right?

_I need some X-Ray vision goggles,_  he thought wryly.

But special gear to see through the door without opening it would have taken too long to construct. So he turned the knob instead, pushing in the door just the tiniest crack - enough for him to see inside, and no more. Candace's door squeaked sometimes, and he'd hate to accidentally wake her up if she was still sleeping, as his mother had said.

She was - and still mostly unmoved from how he'd deposited her last night. With the door open, he could easily hear muffled snoring coming from her as she slept. And even though he'd seen it plenty last night, the sight of her reddened cheeks and nose still made him do a double take. It was a small wonder that Linda had merely assumed she'd fallen ill - if he hadn't known better he might have thought the same thing, what with the huge dark circles under her eyes and all.

At least she was still sleeping.

_Let's see,_  he thought.  _Candace normally goes to bed at ten-ish and gets up around seven. That's like, what, eight or nine hours? And she fell asleep last night at about three… so a fair guess would be that she'll wake up sometime around noon._

That meant she would miss the project, of course. But this time? He really didn't mind. Last night had been difficult for her, that had been plain and clear. And if she needed the sleep, it was better to let her have it.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, setting himself an alarm for a few minutes before his guesstimated time. He then slid it back into his pocket and stealthily backed out of the room, closing the door behind himself.

That left about an hour and a half to two hours before she'd wake up, if his rough calculations were correct. That was plenty of time to have some fun out in the backyard yet. He once again turned and walked down the stairs, this time making it all the way to the bottom. Crossing the living room, he pulled open the sliding glass door and stepped out into the warm late morning sunshine.

"Phineas!" he heard Isabella shout from somewhere. He glanced around, and spied her running over towards him. "Oh, Phineas!" she exclaimed again, almost breathlessly, coming to a stop right up in his face. "We heard that you were sick!"

"No, I'm quite alright," he laughed, taking a slight step back and waving to Ferb, who smiled and returned the gesture. "Just a bit jet-lagged from some time traveling last night."

"Time travel?" she asked. "Ooooh! That's neat! To where - I mean,  _when_?"

"Well," he started to explain, but then hesitated. Right - Candace hadn't said whether or not she minded other people knowing about what had happened. And he'd already let it slip once - though it was to their mother and so probably alright. But this was Isabella - and though they were close enough friends that he almost considered her family, well, it'd still be better to get Candace's approval before he spilled any more of the beans.

"Oh, you know." He chuckled nervously, reaching up to scratch behind his ear. "Just - ah - the distant past. Like,  _really_  distant past."

"Ooooooh," she said. "What'd you do there? Were you  _alone_? You could have brought me with you! It would've been sooo ro-relaxing!" She stopped and cleared her throat. "Never mind that, though. I'm just glad you're here  _now_."

"Well, thank you very much," he replied, smiling. He blinked rapidly several times and then yawned loud and long. "Whew. Guess I'm not entirely up yet. Whatever - let's get started." He walked across the yard with Isabella following closely behind. "Good morning!" he greeted his brother. "I've finally returned to the land of the living. Not too late, I hope?"

Ferb shook his head, and used the paper in his hand to point upwards.

Phineas' eyes followed his brother's gesture, looking higher and higher into the sky. "Wow! That looks even better than it did on paper. And I can't even hear it all - did you use silenced thrusters?"

Ferb nodded.

Hovering gently in the air above the house, sat a huge building. Three giant rocket engines were attached onto its base, emitting a steady stream of silent, deep blue flame. The building bobbed up and down in the breeze as it floated serenely.

"Are you close to being ready for the initial ascent into the exosphere?" he asked again, turning back to his brother.

Ferb blinked thoughtfully and nodded.

"Cool," he replied. That'd give him time to help out a little after the launch as well. "And I assume Perry's already missing?"

"Yeah," Isabella spoke up. "I asked this morning. And I thought of  _you_  while I was doing it."

"Well I'd hope you were thinking of Perry," he responded, smiling. "But thanks for being worried anyway - even if I wasn't actually sick." Isabella made an odd face and nodded. "Well, let's finish up and launch this thing. - I, uh, I  _probably_  won't be able to stick around all day today. I've got to…" His voice trailed away.

"Wait, what?" Isabella asked in disbelief. "Where are you going? What are you doing? Can - can I come with you?"

He frowned slightly. Her questions rang awfully similar in his ears to some he'd directed at his sister yesterday. Well, this sucked - but Candace's privacy was still a thing, and he'd do his best to keep it intact.

"It's… private," he answered at last. "I'd like to tell you, but… I don't think it's my place."

A look of disappointment crossed her face. He'd have liked to say more - but that was already stretching it. He glanced at Ferb, looking for support. They shared a glance for a moment, and Ferb nodded slightly. Phineas could see in his eyes that his brother wanted more explanation - which he'd be happy to provide later. For now, Ferb would just have to trust him.

"I'm quite sorry," Ferb said aloud. "But it's quite unavoidable. We  _do_  attempt to free our schedules of conflict, but cannot always succeed."

Phineas nodded vigorously. Ferb always knew just what say in confusing situations like this. He hated to disappoint his friends… but there was no way he could abandon Candace after last night. And it wasn't even entirely his own rule to never not finish what you start - but something more too.

"Oh. I - I guess so. If you  _have_  to," Isabella relented at last. She did seem awfully reluctant to accept it, but he couldn't really blame her for it. After all, wasn't he more or less pulling the same thing Candace had done to them? He could understand how she felt, then. "Well, can we at least hurry so that we can get as much in before you have to - to  _leave_?" She asked.

He smiled. That was more like it.

"You betcha!" he agreed. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do for a little while this morning!" Stopping to think for a second, he continued. "Well, I guess that it'd still be 'today' for you guys - you can keep doing it while I'm off with…" He stopped himself mere milliseconds before it slipped. Gah. Keeping secrets was  _hard_  - and he didn't really like doing it anyway. But it really  _wasn't_  his place to divulge the details. So until he got that permission, he'd just have to try and deal.

Isabella's eyes narrowed and she seemed about to speak up, but Ferb thankfully saw the potentially awkward situation developing and jumped in to save him. He'd have to make sure to thank his brother later - he really  _was_  good at this.

"How about we simply begin?" Ferb said. "If we want to get the most done before you have to go?"

"Yes, let's!" Phineas agreed. "Come on, Isabella. Ferb. Where are Baljeet and Buford anyway?"

"They're inside the hotel already," Isabella replied, slowly losing the strange look on her face.

"Well, what are we waiting for, then?" he repeated. "Let's go!"

The rest of that half-hour flew by in a flurry of activity - putting the finishing touches on the flying building, actually  _launching_  the flying building into the lower boundary of outer space, and using enormous holographic projectors to project even more enormous three-dimensional advertisements into deep space, letting any and all space faring lifeforms around that they were open for business.

And they came - in all sizes and shapes and colors. Some were tall, some were short, some had abnormally many or few limbs, or even no limbs at all. Some were incorporeal beings of pure energy - and one had a strange resemblance to a baby's head - if said baby could float and was also giant. And was just a head.

It was all in great fun - and they were also helping all these nice extraterrestrial beings on the side. What was not to love? Phineas was hoping Meap would drop by, but all too soon, his phone vibrated in his pocket, alerting him that his services were needed a little more close to home.

Well, he'd committed himself to this thing, so he wasn't gonna let her down _now_. Quickly catching Ferb's attention, he hurried towards his brother across the space hotel's lobby.

"I've gotta go now," he said, showing him the alarm on his phone's screen. "And thanks for covering for me this morning. I'm really… not the best at that."

Ferb raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously, though, thanks." Phineas repeated. "I hated to not straight-up tell her what I was doing, but I wasn't sure if Candace would be comfortable with other people knowing about her breakup just ye…" He stopped at Ferb's amused stare. "What? I… oooh." He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose in embarrassment. "Whoops. Well, I'm sure you would've figured it out anyway."

Ferb blinked stoically, apparently unperturbed by the news he'd just heard.

"Well..." Phineas continued, feeling a bit guilty for introducing yet another party to the secret, but also a bit relieved that he could confide in his brother again,  _especially_ about a subject as difficult for him as this. "The long and short of it is that - well, Candace had some sort of a falling-out with Jeremy. And they broke up. And she's… she's not really taking it that well, Ferb. You should've been there. It's - I - I don't really know to explain it, but it just made me feel  _terrible_  for her. And not just in that 'I feel bad for you' sort of way. It's - it's - I don't know, actually. Either way, I've determined that I'm gonna try to, you know, help her through it."

Ferb blinked in slight disbelief.

"Yeah, yeah I know," Phineas said, cracking a small smile. "And I'm just as bad at it as you're thinking. But - I don't know. I  _think_  it's helping, at least. And I wanna stick it out until I make sure it has."

Ferb smiled slightly in return and nodded.

"Thanks, bro. Shoot, I've really got to go. Guess I'll see you later today or this evening or something."

Ferb nodded again, as if to wish him luck.

Surfing through his phone to the navigator, he pressed the small red button near the bottom of the screen. Brilliant purple light flickered in the space hotel lobby, and he was instantly transported to the giant spacecraft garage affixed to it. They were over ten thousand miles from the surface of the Earth, which was a bit long for teleportation systems to cover in one leap. Teleportation usually maxed out at around five thousand miles - approximately the distance from their house to Timbuktu.

He quickly found his own spacecraft and climbed inside, firing up the engines, and departing for the short journey back to Earth.

_Maybe we should've built a portal back to the house and put it up here,_  he thought. Oh well, it was too late for that small nitpick now. And it wasn't like the rocket he was riding back was going to take a long time anyway - only five minutes or so.

The small spacecraft shot down through the atmosphere, lower and lower, eventually coming in to land safely in the backyard. Hoping the excess racket hadn't disturbed his sister if she was still asleep, he hastily debarked the ship and hurried inside.

The inside of the house was quiet and still, with only the slight humming of the air conditioner breaking the silence. It felt strange - being inside at this time when it was still sunny and warm out and the day was still so young. And more specifically it felt strange being inside  _alone_. Well, he wouldn't be alone for long. Climbing the stairs, he once again found himself outside Candace's bedroom door. And once again he knocked, rapping twice against the wooden panels.

"Candace?" he asked, double-checking his phone. It was 11:33.

For a moment, everything remained silent, and he thought that maybe she  _was_ still asleep. Then a slightly quavery voice answered from behind the door. "Phineas?"

So she was awake. He'd suspected as much. Shifting back and forth on his feet in the hall, he took a breath and decided to simply plunge in before he overthought things. "Can - is it okay if I come in?"

There was a moment of hesitation from the other side of the door.

"I - I guess so."

Alright. So far, so good. Swinging the door inwards, he stepped into the room.

Candace was still in her bed, though she was sitting up now, with her knees to her chest. She sat quietly and watched him come in and stand awkwardly at the foot of the bed.

He smiled at her, hoping to provoke her to give one in return.

"It was real, wasn't it?" she said instead, in a voice no louder than a whisper.

"I'm afraid so," he replied, feeling the mood of the room darken even as the words left his mouth.

She hugged her knees even tighter. "I - I thought so. I - I was just sort of hoping… you know."

Though the noisy, choked-up tears and sobbing from last night were gone, this voice, barely audible as it was, had such an edge of raw hurt to it that it somehow cut deeper than all the loud and angry lamentations in the world could have done. Hearing that tone in his sister's voice… it was absolutely the  _worst._  More than ever, he knew he could never give up until that tone was gone - no matter  _how_ long that would take.

"You doing…" he hesitated briefly. "...how  _are_  you doing?"

She looked up and stared at him, her eyes wide and trembling.

"Oh no, I'm sorry," he hastily apologized. "I - I…" he grimaced. This wasn't a good start.

"It - it's not you," she whispered, sniffling slightly. "I - I - I just feel…  _miserable_ , Phineas. And - and - it's even worse because it's _all my fault._ "

"I'm sorry," he repeated, though this time not in apology.

"Why are you even here anyway?" She mumbled, her voice becoming even more dull and her head sinking down. "It's - it's morning. You should be out doing  _something_  - not - not in here with  _me_."

He crossed the room to the window and pulled down the blinds, obscuring the view of the rocket ship sitting empty in the backyard. The room grew dim as the source of the sunlight was cut off. Sitting down on the foot of the bed, he took a breath. Once again he felt a strong urge to scoot in close, but again he hesitated.

"Right now?" he replied. "Candace, I've already decided what I'm going to do today. And you know as well as I that you won't be able to dissuade me."

"Whatever. Your loss," she murmured, shoulders trembling slightly. But though the words were discouraging, he could tell by the undercurrent running through them that he was making the right decision.

Phineas shifted slightly on the bed and slid his shoes off. He had a feeling that he wouldn't be needing them anymore. But he didn't mind. Because this - something about it just felt  _right_. This, here, right now, was where he belonged - helping his sister through this. And like everything he ever did, he was determined to do it to the absolute best he was capable of - regardless of how long it took.

And that determination never wavered, even as the hours ticked by - soon blending into days. The schedule that Phineas had religiously followed for the greater part of his life, that he'd always figured would persist more or less forever, was unceremoniously uprooted and tossed aside for now. He'd get up, eat breakfast with Ferb, go outside, greet his friends and maybe talk a little. But that was where it all changed. Because unlike normal, he'd embarked on a great project - and probably the most important one he'd ever attempted. Bringing Candace out of the pits she'd buried herself in, back into the open air and sunshine once more.

Every day at exactly eight o'clock, he'd return inside, and find himself upstairs with Candace again. For the first long handful of days, they stayed inside her room. He endured long angry rants, listened to tearful lamentations, and heard seemingly endless lists of worries - sometimes talking back and sometimes simply sitting there in silence.

But he was never one to focus on the downcasting things. Instead, he kept mental track of the successes. And just like bad news, there's always plenty of good news to go around if you're looking for it. The third day of the disruption of his pattern passed without his sister shedding a single tear, although she came dangerously close several times. The very next day, he caught her smiling slightly at him when he showed up at the door - and not in return to one of his. It was the little things like this that made all the difference.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked a few days later. "Always up here, I mean. I know you have better things to do - I'm sure I'm miserable company."

"Well, misery loves company," he answered. "And by that I mean that no one should have to be alone when they feel upset. So, I'm here to make sure that you're not." He smiled.

She made a face. "I'm sure Stacy would come over here."

"I'm sure she would too," he said, raising an eyebrow. "If you called and asked - she's a good friend. And it's what any friend would do."

Candace stared off into space. "I suppose," she finally replied. "Maybe I will."

But she didn't - not that day, or the next. And for some reason, that fact was strangely satisfying. For all his constant struggles with what to say and how to say it, it seemed he was doing alright after all. And perhaps better than alright. He had no past experience - or any experience at all - at this sort of thing, but it seemed to be working out. That was all the encouragement he could have reasonably needed.

"I think we're making some real progress," he told Ferb one night, as they were preparing for bed. "I'm sure you can tell. It's - it's  _great_ , Ferb."

Ferb smiled. "You are an excellent brother," he said aloud. "And perhaps even a better comforter than I could be."

Phineas snorted at the idea. "No, I don't think so. But I'm doing my best."

Ferb nodded in agreement.

His best was all he could give, after all - and she certainly deserved it.

And as more time passed, signs continued to improve. It was a slow process, to be sure, but a steady one. Two days later, he cracked a particularly corny joke - and she laughed aloud. The sound of it was infinitely satisfying to his ears. He wouldn't have been that much opposed to the idea of hearing it all the time.

"Do you want to go out into the backyard today?" he asked on the next day. "I know we've been building little things in here all week long, but I'm kinda itching to get my hands on something bigger."

Candace frowned. "I don't know…"

"I mean, Ferb told me that they were planning on going to explore Venus' surface today anyway," he added. "And maybe we could do something after. Or before. Like, I don't know…" he hesitated. "We could go to - to the Googolplex?"

Candace's eyebrows raised halfway up her forehead. "And what do  _you_  want at the Googolplex?" she asked in amusement.

"Well… nothing, really," he answered sheepishly. "But I figured that you go there a lot. So it can't be _that_ bad, right? Besides, even if it is, I'm sure I can find some way to spice it up."

"Well, that  _is_  true. And it _has_  been a while," she said. "But I'll tell you what. Why don't we meet in the middle, hmm?" She grinned. "I won't force you to come shopping with me. But, I suppose it  _would_  be good for me to get out of the house a little bit." She paused. "And for you too. I swear you've gotten paler than you used to be."

He shrugged. "Maybe. I have spent a lot more time inside this past week than I usually do. But I don't really mind."

"Well, then, it's settled. Come on, be honest with me. You  _are_  dying to get back outside, aren't you?"

Phineas smiled, ducking his head. "You know me too well for me to try to deny that," he said. "What did you have in mind?"

"Why don't we go, uh - get some ice cream?" she suggested. "It's not a terribly far walk from here. I used to go there all the time wi…" Her voice trailed off and her face contorted. Uh oh. Even Phineas knew that wasn't a good sign.

"How about we get ice cream in, uh, California - instead? It's - you know - warm?" he hastily interrupted.

She nodded mutely, shivering.

"California it is then. Modesto, California, perhaps? It's a nice place. Kinda… modest, I guess."

Candace blinked rapidly several times, and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Are - are you okay?" Phineas asked quietly. Maybe this half-baked plan would need to be scrapped or pushed off to another day or something. That was alright.

"I - I'm fine," she whispered. "S - sorry."

"It's perfectly alright." he responded, stepping closer and putting his hand on her shoulder. "We don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to."

There was another moment of silence.

"No…" she finally answered, slightly closer to her normal volume. "Eventually I'm gonna have to - to leave the house and go somewhere. I can't stay cooped up in here  _forever_."

Phineas nodded, but said nothing. After all, Danville  _was_  a small city, as cities go. He'd not really thought much of it before, but he now imagined that the relatively limited range of… places for people to go around here would inevitably lead to a likely very painful run-in with the past. It sucked, but couldn't be helped.

"You sure?" he repeated. Despite the unavoidable nature of such an event, there was still no point in her rushing headlong into it without being… mentally prepared. He'd hate to see all the painstaking progress he'd watched over the past week and a half be lost.

But she'd set her mind on leaving the house today - and he knew better than to think that he could dissuade her, either. So, as she had once conceded to him when he insisted upon staying, he now acquiesced to her desire to go.

"I've made up my mind," she said, echoing his thoughts. "I - I've spent long enough locked up in here." She paused and smiled at him, a smile which filled his entire being with a warm and fuzzy feeling. "Besides - you've done a  _lot_  to get me back on my feet. I guess it's time for me to actually start walking now."

"Only if you feel up to it," he still insisted, but the resistance was weak, and ultimately futile.

"Quit farting around and get your shoes on." she retorted playfully. "And since it  _was_  your idea to go to  _California_ , of all places, then you'd better have a plan for getting there and back."

Phineas grinned. "Do I ever." His slight worry over his sister's well-being and near-relapse aside, this was starting look like it could be a pretty great day.

And it was. For the first time in the week and a half since he'd arrived home at half-past-five in the morning with a sleeping Candace in the back seat of the time machine, the warm afternoon sun shone down upon the oldest Flynn child standing in the backyard. They talked together, and laughed, and constructed a rocket-powered high-altitude hovercraft capable of hypersonic air travel.

Honestly, constructing such a (relatively) large scale project was quite a relief. Although actual, full-blown withdrawals had been averted via tiny projects they'd put together in Candace's room, nothing that small could ever  _really_  scratch the itch in the way he needed. Indeed, he hadn't even realized how bad that itch had gotten until they finished the skiff and it slowly dissipated. It seemed his usual threshold for reacting to withdrawal symptoms had been temporarily raised - in some way or another.

They flew from their house all the way across the country, eventually coming to rest in the unpretentious Californian town of Modesto, where they spent the remaining half of the day wandering about in the McHenry Museum and other places that the small city had to offer. And of course, in accordance with the original plan, there was ice cream.

It was all great fun. And what was more - Candace seemed to enjoy herself, which was in itself enough to push the day over the brink from 'good' to 'great'. Now if only Ferb and Isabella and Buford and Baljeet and all the rest of them could have come too - that might have put it in the running for 'best day ever'.

But the day had been pretty close to that in its own unique way. It wasn't an exciting, thrilling, adrenaline-fueled sort of 'great', but more of a plain old  _happy_  sort great. Just seeing his sister act so carefree and cheerful after so long was enough to make him happy. And from there it spiraled into a wonderful feedback loop that kept up until he was feeling positively delirious. Phineas wished the day would never end.

But time has a way of marching on, especially when you aren't paying attention to its passage, and even more so when you're enjoying yourself. And eventually the afternoon disappeared into early evening, and it was take their leave. As they flew through the sky back towards the Tri-State Area, the sun's disappearance beneath the horizon was exponentially accelerated by their passage through several time zones.

By the time they arrived home, it was almost halfway beneath the horizon, casting long, dark shadows across the ground. The windows of the house glowed bright and warm against rapidly thickening darkness.

Phineas brought the hovercraft down to a gentle landing in the backyard, and they both debarked and headed off inside. As he pulled the sliding glass door shut behind him, he heard some great clatter arising from the yard, as the Mysterious Force no doubt pushed the limits of credulity to rid the yard of the advanced flying vehicle. But he didn't mind - they'd gotten plenty of use out of it today, and what more could he ask? Not much, especially not from the Force.

"Well, well," Linda remarked, seeing them both arrive in the kitchen. "And where have you two been all day?"

"Hey, Mom!" he greeted brightly. "We went out - for ice cream. To California."

"Mmm." Linda nodded. "Sounds nice."

It was at that moment that he remembered the new restaurant that had opened downtown - the one also coincidentally named 'California'. Ah, well. It was best not to tempt the Force, or it might take measures both more drastic and more unpleasant. The Force was not above spontaneous mind-wipes from the sky, and those weren't exactly healthy things to undergo.

"It was," Candace agreed. "We had fun."

Linda turned to face her daughter and raised an eyebrow. "Seems like it." she replied, a curious expression coming over her face. "Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about an hour, so you both run and get showered now, because we've gotta run the dishwasher later. I told your brother to leave you hot water."

Phineas nodded. "Will do. You wanna go first?" He asked, turning to Candace.

And of course she did - being the third person in a row to shower often resulted in getting cut short by a sudden splash of icy coldness as the heater gave all it had to give. Ferb was lucky he'd managed get home from Venus before they'd gotten home. Thinking of Ferb caused an intense curiosity to spurt up inside him. He simply  _had_  to go find how that'd gone. The blueprints from this morning had seemed really interesting. He'd have been super excited to go along himself, if it had been at all possible. But it wasn't, so he'd have to content himself with Ferb's stories of the trip.

As he followed Candace up the stairs, she turned and stopped for a moment.

"I  _did_  have fun today," she said quietly. "Thanks."

"Why are you thanking  _me_?" he asked. "I enjoyed it as much as you did."

Candace frowned slightly. "You know what I mean," she repeated. "I - I - Honestly, I don't know  _what_  exactly made you decide to, you know. Make like glue and stick to me." She smiled a slightly sad smile. "But thanks anyway."

Phineas shrugged slightly and smiled back. "I don't really know either," He replied. "But it just sort of felt like the right thing to do. So I did."

She stepped forwards and hugged him tightly. "Sometimes you're freaking annoying, you know?" she whispered.

He didn't reply, but hugged her back, a cozy warm feeling creeping up in his gut - telling him that, this, here, was where he belonged. Which was odd, all things considered. He belonged in the hallway? Well, it was a part of the house at least. And better than, say - the basement.

"Alright," she said, breaking free. "I've got to go shower now. And maybe tomorrow I'll take you up on your offer."

Phineas took a step back. "Offer?" he echoed.

"You know…" she drawled, a mischievous look coming across her face. "To come with me to the Googolplex? Hmm?"

Phineas raised one eyebrow, and gave an exaggeratedly long sigh. "Oh, yeah. Well, I guess that'll be… interesting."

"It  _was_  your idea," She grinned, reaching out and pushing him back playfully. "You can't back out now."

"Oh, don't worry," He reassured her. "I don't intend to."

Although the idea of spending all day inside shopping wasn't in and of itself appealing, he was confident he could find some way to make it so. And Candace would be there - which would certainly help.

He returned to the bedroom in a triumph. This past week and a half seemed to be working out quite well, and he was more confident than ever that eventually everything would turn out alright.

"Hey, Ferb!" he greeted enthusiastically, plopping down on his bed. "What's going on?"

Ferb looked up from a book and smiled in welcome.

"Yeah, it was a good day for us too," He kicked off his shoes and laid back on the bedcovers. "We went to California. And had ice cream. It was - it was great."

Ferb blinked, setting his book down.

"I know, right? I wasn't sure how well it was going to work out… but it did! Just wonderfully, too." Phineas rolled over and propped himself up on a pillow. "What was Venus like, hm?"

His brother shrugged.

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm sorry I couldn't come. Sounds like you had a great time."

Ferb nodded almost imperceptibly.

"And I do miss hanging out with everybody else all day," Phineas continued. "But it can't be helped, really. And I don't think it'll be problem for much longer. I don't know, Ferb, but I think it's really helping. She's - well, starting to be a lot like her old self. I'm sure you've seen. Soon enough we'll all be back together in the backyard - and I can't wait." He paused thoughtfully. "Of course, that final decision isn't up to me. But I don't think it'll be much longer. Maybe a week? Maybe two? I can't say - I still suck at, you know, being deep and all that. Sometimes I still think you'd have been better fit for this than I."

Ferb raised one eyebrow, as if in disagreement, and spoke aloud. "You certainly have displayed more tact with the situation than I believe I could."

Phineas chuckled slightly. "I don't know why you'd say  _that,_ " he replied. "I'm really just kinda going with it, you know? Doing what feels right, and not overthinking things."

Even as he said the words, he could feel his brother's stare.

"Well, okay," he admitted. "Maybe overthinking things a  _little_. But come on - that's what we do best anyhow." He laughed again. "I do really miss hanging out with everybody, though. Maybe we could try to arrange something sometime, if this takes longer than expected." He paused and shot a silly grin at his brother. "Or maybe everybody's enjoying the break from dealing with me. I imagine you run a tight ship, hm?"

Ferb shook his head and smiled back.

"Yeah, I know. It's not really  _fair_  to them… but what happened to Candace wasn't really fair to her either. No one deserves to hurt like that, and especially, you know, especially not her. And I've gotta help make it right. It's sad there's no way that I can be in multiple places at once. Unless I got Molecularly Split - but I doubt  _that_  would end well."

Ferb nodded.

"I know, I know. Splitter's out. Well, everything'll be back to normal soon enough. Candace seems like she's feeling a lot better - and I really, really think that all she needs is more time."

Ferb nodded again. "It seems as if you've been a lot of help," he said aloud again. "And although our friends miss your presence, I am certain that they understand."

Phineas nodded, feeling relieved to hear it confirmed. After all - Buford and Baljeet and Isabella were some of the best friends a person could wish for. And although none of them had siblings of their own, surely they could still understand why his repeated absences were necessary. Honestly, there was no reason to be worried. He'd known them all for years and years, and would have trusted any of them with his very life - and indeed had, on several occasions. If they could handle deep space travel and being the victims of hostile mind-swaps, then there was absolutely no reason they couldn't handle missing him for a few more days - or week or however long it took. They wouldn't even be _fully_  missing him - they still met and talked a little bit in the early mornings, before Candace got up.

It wasn't like it was his presence  _specifically_  that kept them coming back to the yard, after all.


	10. Lawn Dart Missiles

It was with an exponentially increasing sense of frustration that Isabella Garcia-Shapiro bid goodbye to her friends and trudged homewards across the street.

_One week,_  she thought.  _A whole week._

That was… okay, it wasn't  _really_  that long of a time. But, still… it seemed long to her. Especially when it was denoting the amount of - consecutive, mind you - days in which Phineas Flynn was noticeably absent from their summertime schedule. Like, one day? No big deal. Stuff happened. Two days? Coincidences were a thing. But three? Four?  _Seven_? That was when it started to chafe.

She wasn't sure why it got under her skin as much as it did. Phineas was almost certainly not doing it on purpose. He was… well, he just wasn't the sort to do that kind of thing.

And it wasn't like the afternoons without him were  _unpleasant_ , per se. They were… tolerable. Alright, even. Ferb was pleasant enough, even if his stony silences made for a lot of awkwardness from time to time. Buford and Baljeet - those two were always the same - were nice enough, but they were off in their own world half of the time. And Irving, well, was just Irving. There wasn't much else to be said there. He'd showed up only once in the past week, though. Really, with Phineas missing… it just felt like the glue was gone.

Even so, every morning for past week, she'd dutifully walked across the street to the Flynn-Fletcher house. And every morning she'd greeted Phineas and his brother in the yard.

"Heeeeey, Phineas. Whatcha doin'?" she'd say, repeating the same greeting she'd been using for years and years.

And - of course - every morning, her attempts at making him realize what they shared fell flat. But, sadly, that wasn't unusual. It was also a matter to be dealt with later - soon enough he'd come around on  _that_  - it was just a matter of time.

Every morning she'd hoped that her crush would stick around. How could he not? What was so important that he would opt away - from both the projects she knew he adored, and from his friends, and from  _her_? But every morning, she'd been sorely disappointed.

At eight o'clock sharp, Phineas' phone would go off in his pocket, and he'd take it out, glance at it, then cut his conversation short, disappearing inside the house. And she'd not see him for the rest of the afternoon - except for a minute here and there, if they happened to be going to use the upstairs bathroom at the same time or something. Which had happened. Once.

All attempts to find a pattern in Phineas' bathroom-using times so that she could  _ensure_  that they ran into each other had failed.

It hadn't taken so long for her to figure out  _where_  he went. She was, after all, fairly decent at getting to the root of confusing things, at least as evidenced by her  _Investigative Reporting_  patch. But that information had really not helped the situation one whit. So he went into his sister's room. Big whoop. How was that supposed to help, especially if she still didn't know  _what_  he was doing in there? And just because he went  _into_  his sister's room - that didn't mean he was actually spending all that time in there.

Teleportation and invisibility were just two out of many ways to accomplish that - and considering that this  _was_  Phineas Flynn, such things were not so far-fetched. It was almost certainly true - after all, what reason would he have for actually  _staying_  in that one room for all those hours?

Candace Flynn was a nice enough person, Isabella supposed, though she wasn't all that close with her crush's older sister. It seemed a bit shallow - after all, the eldest Flynn child had been a regular participant in the backyard for what was creeping up on four years now. But Isabella had eyes for only one of the three siblings. She didn't  _mind_  Candace's presence, but similarly to Ferb's, it was more of a non-factor in her enjoyment of the day.

Enjoyment that was, of course, determined in large part by Phineas' actions. And he couldn't very well act if he wasn't even  _there_ , now could he?

Sure, the projects they put together under Ferb's instruction were nice enough. And sure, Isabella knew that whatever Phineas was doing had to be at least somewhat important if he was abandoning her - and everyone else - to go and pursue it. But it still got under her skin in the most aggravating way.

As she opened her own front door and stepped inside, Isabella straightened her shoulders and cleared her throat. There was going to be a troop meeting this evening, and she couldn't afford to be in such a funk in front of the other Fireside Girls. And their advice on these subjects was… fallible, to say the least. Ginger's continued flimsy justifications for her  _I Saw A Cute Boy_  patch was proof enough of that. At least none of the troop members had been over to the house across the road during the long and disappointing week. She was sure that the past week would have given them plenty of ammunition for teasing - that would have no doubt been good-natured - but she just wasn't feeling up to that sort of thing, ill intentions or no.

It would be okay. After all, surely he'd be there tomorrow. Whatever he was doing - it couldn't take longer than a  _week_  to finish, right? This was Phineas Flynn - the boy who could travel to the end of the universe and back in a handful of hours, and probably call it small potatoes afterwards. There was just no way.

The troop meeting went off without a hitch, as she had expected. A few more patches were handed out - a third copy of the  _Interplanetary Explorer_ patch, a fifth copy of the  _Rocket Science_ patch, and her umpteenth copy of  _Help Thy Neighbor_  being the highlights of the evening, along with a few other less dramatic ones, like Gretchen's  _Running With The Bullies_  patch. (Which was, admittedly, earned entirely by accident.)

And although she was able to somewhat stifle her discomfort at the newfound trend that had begun to emerge at the Flynn-Fletcher house over the course of the past week, she still found herself unable to get fully into the mood of the evening. It was supposed to be a good time, but her brain obstinately refused to get off Phineas. This thing was going to drive her nuts, she could feel it.

"Hey… there's something bothering you, isn't there?" Ginger came over and asked, after the meeting broke apart and the various troop members were scattering off to their respective homes.

Isabella rolled her eyes and sighed. Had she really been that obvious? Probably.

"It's Phineas again, isn't it?" the other girl asked, without even a moment's hesitation.

"I'm nothing if not predictable," Isabella said. "I suppose I'm gonna end up getting that  _Unresolved Emotional Tension_  patch after all."

Ginger shrugged. "You know what we all think about  _that_. No need for me to rehash it, I guess."

"Yes, yes I know," Isabella agreed. "And  _you_  know why I can't just go about it like  _that_. Phineas - he just doesn't work that way. But that's not even what's bothering me anyway."

Even in the dim light cast by the streetlights, she could sense the surprise on Ginger's face. "Something's bothering you… about Phineas… and it _doesn't_  have to do with your infinitely unrequited crushes? Color me surprised."

"Well, it's not entirely unrelated," Isabella admitted. "But still not exactly that. I'm plenty used to that by now. This - this is different."

Ginger rolled her eyes dramatically. "Well, lay it on me. I already get my fill of drama from that family from Stacy anyway. So what's another little bit on top?"

Isabella suddenly felt a little bit embarrassed by her worries as she thought of trying to articulate them. If she was so sure that Phineas truly  _did_  love her - and she was! - then why was his extended absence bothering her so much? Well, perhaps the answer was simpler than all that. "For the past week straight, Phineas's been going off to do… something or the other. By himself - in his sister's room, of all places. And just kinda leaves me in the yard with his brother and Buford and Baljeet. And if I ask him what he's doing - he just makes weird faces and apologizes a lot and says that it's not his place to tell."

For a second, there was no reply, and they walked on in silence, turning down the street of the Hirano house.

"I mean," Ginger answered at last. "The obvious conclusion here is that he's doing something with his sister. I guess I can ask Stacy - she's guaranteed to know _something_ , at least."

"Oh, please," Isabella replied, sighing slightly. "If there's anything I know about my - him, it's that nothing's  _ever_  the obvious conclusion."

Ginger shrugged again and turned off the sidewalk into the driveway of her home. "Well, you'd know that better than me. Oops -  _I_. At least you don't have to worry about him going off and getting a girlfriend or something when you're not looking." She smiled.

"Oh, no." Isabella chuckled at the idea. "No, he wouldn't do that. He loves  _me_  - at least, he will." She looked at her companion out of the corner of her eye. "Don't think I didn't hear that self-correction, by the way. Trying to impress someone, hmm?"

Ginger blushed in the dim light, and turned on her heel, starting towards her front door. "I'll call you tomorrow." She tossed over her shoulder. "If Stacy does know anything at all - and if it involves Phineas' sister, she probably does. 'Night."

"'Night," Isabella echoed, turning her own steps homeward at last.

The conversation, brief though it had been, had still helped to put her mind somewhat at ease. The issues were still there, unfortunately, but getting them off her chest had been kinda relieving. And maybe Ginger had been right - maybe it did have something to do with his sister after all. That could kinda sorta explain why Phineas kept pulling that same 'I can't tell you' sort of thing. It was hard for Isabella to think of  _any_  reason he would keep something from her, but maybe his sister had put him up to it. Why would  _she_ do such a thing? Who knew.

It was all very annoying. She longed for the day when the light bulb would finally go off in his brain and he would realize that she'd been waiting for him all these years.

_And maybe - just maybe_ , she thought as she prepared for bed that night,  _that day will be tomorrow_.

There wasn't much she could do, but she could always hope. And most likely be disappointed yet  _again_ , but it would be worth it someday.

Tomorrow finally dawned, bright and clear and full of opportunity. And, same as she had for as long as she could remember, Isabella got up early, got dressed, said good morning to her mother, ate breakfast, took care of Pinky, and then departed for the house across the street. It was warm, and birds were singing, and there only a few scattered clouds drifting here and there in the sky.

_It could be so romantic,_  she thought, sighing slightly to herself. But there was no time to think about that now. Crossing the Flynn-Fletcher driveway, she pushed open the wooden fence gate and stepped into the yard.

"Heeeeeey, Phineas." she greeted, smiling as flirtatiously as she knew how. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Hey, Isabella!" he exclaimed from the under the tree, his voice laden with innocent enthusiasm. "How're you this morning?"

"Good." she answered, resisting the urge to sigh again. It was time to pop the question once again. But this was a new week… so surely the answer would be different  _this_  time. "Are you planning on sticking it out with us today?" She could feel herself holding her breath as she waited for the answer. Did Phineas even know how much she hung on his every word? No, no, of course he didn't. He had no idea.

Phineas frowned slightly, and it was through that action that she could tell that she was about to be disappointed yet again. "I'm sorry," He apologized. "But I can't. It's - it won't be too terribly much longer though." He paused and smiled. "You'll get yet another day to relax and talk about me, hm? I'm sure Buford enjoys it."

"Yeah," she responded, smiling faintly at the joke. Well, here was just another disappointment to throw on the pile. What else was new?

"I'm sorry," Phineas repeated, a slightly concerned look crossing his face. "I do miss hanging around with all of you too."

She had that at least, right? It was a good sign, she supposed. Still, if he actually did miss them all that much… why was he staying away? She knew that asking him would be useless.

Phineas got a strangely far away look in his eyes, and stared off into space. "It's just - I don't know. This is  _important_ , Isabella. I'd tell you if I could. But she…" Ferb cleared his throat in a loud manner, startling his brother down out of the clouds. "Right. Sorry."

Something in his tone rankled in her mind, poking annoyingly at her subconscious.

_It's nothing,_  she told herself, attempting to push the thought away.  _Maybe Ginger was right. Maybe it really_  is  _his sister. Has to be right?_

Well, of course it  _had_  to be. That was the obvious conclusion, the one that any rational person would arrive at after careful application of logic and reason. But if there was one thing that Isabella had learned from her years of trying to keep up with Phineas, it was that logic and reason tended to break down around the Flynn-Fletcher house. It was her years of experience in dealing with the impossible that even now prevented her from settling for the 'obvious' conclusion.

Yes, that is certainly what it was. There was nothing else. Nothing… nothing at all.

Still, the strange feeling refused to go away completely. She was  _used_  to Phineas' grandiose projects stealing away his attention from her feelings for him. Why was this different?

_It's not,_  she stubbornly told herself.  _It's just… longer term than usual. Oh yeah, and involves_ someone else _that apparently gets to decide if he can tell me or not._

Oof. That did not sit well with her. But what could she do? Nothing, that's what. Nothing except roll with the punches, knowing that at some point in the future, it would all be worth it. And they would look back on this moment and laugh.

It was what she did every day, after all. Why was it so hard now?

_And I guess I can make it eight days now,_  she thought, sitting down dejectedly on the grass next to him.  _Eight. Freaking. Days. Bleh._

"Well, at least you're enjoying yourself," she said, trying her best to keep the frustration out of her tone. It was more for her own benefit that his anyway. He'd not notice if she flat out spat the words, in all likelihood. She leaned back against the base of the tree, preparing for what would probably be a long-winded spiel on the subject, getting agonizingly close to, but never  _quite_  reaching the disclosure of any actual detail.

Instead, she heard a long, drawn-out sigh so uncharacteristic of the boy sitting next to her that she leaned forward to look at him more closely. A faint smile had crossed his face and he was staring unfocused off into the air again.

"I am," he answered, at last.

And the short answer was enough to set all the alarm bells in her brain off at once.

It was… it was so  _short_. So  _concise._  And so… so  _dreamy_? Wait,  _what_? What on earth could have made her crush - the person that she'd many a time labelled as the most oblivious person on earth - sound  _dreamy_? And there was no denying it. His words were practically  _dripping_  in it… oozing that sickeningly sweet, starry-eyed tone that she'd only  _dreamed_  of hearing from him one day.

But it - it  _wasn't directed at her._

Instantly, Ginger's words from the night before shattered their way back into her consciousness.

' _At least you don't have to worry about him going off and getting a girlfriend or something when you're not looking._ '

The notion was patently ridiculous. A part of Isabella's brain was laughing at her for even giving it a moment's thought. But there was no denying that… that  _tone_. She knew it well enough, having often had to take time to steady her own voice to prevent herself from sounding like that.

This was - this was impossible. Suddenly, his protracted absences from the daily projects seemed a much greater obstacle to their up-and-coming romance.

She leaned forward even farther, looking directly at Ferb, who, as usual, was sitting silently on Phineas' other side. Did  _he_  know about… about  _this_? How could he  _not_?

But Ferb only stared back at her impassively, giving off the distinct impression that he either had no idea what was going on, or knew, but was for some reason refusing to admit it. Or maybe he _was_  trying to tell her something - she'd never been able to tell with him. If something needed to be said, Phineas was always translator.

_Okay, it's fine. You didn't get that_ Calm in Times of Stress _patch for nothing,_  she thought.  _After all, this is_ Phineas _._

And that was true. It  _was_  Phineas. And he loved - or was going to, at least -  _her_. And even if he didn't know it yet, his constant oblivion should have easily protected him from anyone else. After  _everything_ she'd tried over the years, and he  _still_  hadn't realized? Yeah, there was  _no way_  that anybody else was going to work their way through it in just a week. The idea was patently absurd.

Still… that sigh. That tone. The way that even now, he was perfectly  _silent_  and staring off into space.

It  _disturbed_  her. This was Phineas - her crush. The love of  _her_  life, not anyone else's. And he loved her too, of that much she was positive. There  _had_  to be another explanation for this - something more mundane.

Well, she  _did_  have that patch in investigative reporting. If she wanted to find out just exactly what was going on around here, then maybe it was time to start paying closer attention - to everything. And surely doing so would uncover that mundane solution that she was so confident was there.

A loud beeping sound broke the unusual silence that had fallen over the yard.

"Oh!" Phineas exclaimed, pulling himself to his feet and digging his phone out of his pocket. "That's for me. It was fun talking with you, Isabella. I'll be seeing you later."

"Huh? Oh, yeah." she replied. "See you later, I guess. Have… fun?"

"Oh, I will," he answered, smiling broadly. "And you too. I'm sure whatever you guys do'll be great. You can tell me all about it later."

She watched him walk across the yard and disappear through the sliding glass door into the house. Well, he was gone again. Off to… wherever. Into his sister's room, probably, then maybe somewhere beyond? There was just no telling with him.

Maybe it was time to start a little bit of that investigative reporting she'd thought about. Beginning with… Ferb. Oh, no. This was going to be an absolute  _nightmare_. But it would be worth it, even if she only got the tiniest smidgen of information. This was… she just had to know.

"So…" she said aloud. "Ferb. Whatcha - what - what are you doing?" Her normally familiar greeting stuck in her throat for some reason, refusing to come out to the wrong brother.

Ferb glanced up from the blueprint spread across his lap and looked at her. Where had he gotten that anyway?

A deep silence settled over the yard as they stared at each other. Ferb's face was completely unreadable, as usual.

"So…" she started up again, not sure why she was feeling so nervous around him all the sudden. This was  _Ferb_ , of all people. "So… uh… I wonder what Phineas is doing. It's - it's quite a conundrum, hm?"

Another long and all-encompassing silence settled over the yard like a suffocating blanket. Ferb blinked, once, then twice. But she had no idea if that meant anything. Or maybe it  _didn't_ mean anything - maybe he'd simply had to blink. Agh! This was really getting out of hand - and annoying.

"Do - do _you_  know what he's doing?" she asked at last, clearing her throat. "I mean, it  _is_  weird, right?"

Oh, it definitely was. That was, like, the one thing that she knew fo _r sure_ right now. And you could bet that she was fully intending to cling to that one tidbit of knowledge like her life depended on it. Because maybe it did.

Ferb turned back to his blueprint, and made some unintelligible markings on it. Some sort of advanced math, maybe. She frowned. "Have you noticed anything, you know, strange about him recently?" The fourth question was basically giving up on any last air of subtlety the previous few may or may not have had. But she didn't care - she was starting to get desperate.

Ferb looked back up at her, his pencil coming to a halt. "Considering what I know of the situation," he said aloud, his quiet voice giving her such a start that she almost keeled over. "No, I don't think I've noticed any particularly remarkable behavior."

Considering  _what he knew of the situation_? Oh, that was just great. So Ferb knew what Phineas was up to as well. It shouldn't have surprised her, honestly. Phineas and Ferb, they were practically joined at the hip. Still, the knowledge that here was yet another party Phineas had deemed worthy of the knowledge kind of irked her. What about it 'not being his place' to tell?

Okay, to be entirely to fair to Phineas, Ferb  _was_  generally sort of the 'observant' one. At least, she assumed so. Heck, half the things she knew about Ferb were assumptions anyway. What was one more?

Still, she couldn't really be upset with Phineas for telling Ferb... not that Ferb had implied that he'd been told anyway. It was just as likely that he'd simply figured it out on his own.

Even that idea sank uncomfortably to the bottom of her mind and lay there like a strange, annoying stone. Well, if Ferb could figure it out of his own accord, then so could she! Of course, Ferb did  _live here_ , and she didn't, which might throw a monkey wrench into things somewhat.

Well, she didn't  _need_  to live here, and she didn't  _need_  Ferb's help either. This was  _Phineas_ , after all. And Isabella knew that above all else, her crush was infinitely unsubtle. Indeed, it was a miracle that he'd not accidentally let the secret slide yet. All she would have to do would pay closer attention to the things that went on, especially when she saw Phineas for those brief periods of time in the morning.

Eventually somebody would slip up and something would come out - a single thread, maybe, but one that when pulled, would bring the whole tapestry of secret crumbling apart.

The wooden fence gate creaked, jarring her free of her thoughts.

"What is happening with you all this morning, my friends?" Baljeet exclaimed from the gate. "I am most excited for this day's project."

Isabella rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh that dared not show itself externally.

Yes, the daily project. Whatever it turned out to be - it'd be cool, no doubt. And under Ferb's more-than-capable direction and skill, it would also no doubt come together flawlessly. But it would never be the same. With Phineas missing, a huge chunk of her entire day was... just  _gone_.

She felt almost selfish, mentally resigning herself to the disappointment creeping up on her. But she'd grown accustomed to the accomplishing of impossible tasks. And the idea of doing the impossible merely to do the impossible was no longer enough to truly bring her to the very heights of happiness. That would require a certain boy - a boy who had technically been a teenager for some years now, but surely didn't act like one. And who was noticeably missing from the yard.

_Maybe tomorrow,_  she told herself, standing up and accepting a hard hat from Ferb's hand.

Wasn't that just her motto now? Maybe tomorrow Phineas would stay all day like he used to... Maybe tomorrow he would realize how blind he was to the deeper connection they shared. Maybe tomorrow... maybe tomorrow... maybe tomorrow.

_But it_ will _happen,_  she thought resolutely.  _That's the thing with tomorrows. They always come... eventually._

And when her tomorrow finally came, you could bet it was going to be the greatest day of her life.

But enough about her tomorrows. Right now, she needed to focus on  _today_. Namely, getting through yet another afternoon and evening and night before she would see Phineas again. She knew well enough from the past week of experience how… alright it would go. It wouldn't get much better than that, but it'd still be…  _alright_.

First there'd be the construction of the project, whatever it was. Today's was apparently a giant version of that lawn darts game… with actual sixty-foot long liquid nitrogen propelled intercontinental ballistic missiles. Which was cool enough, if the  _tiniest_  bit tame compared to usual.

She tried to get into the mood, really she did. And it worked, bit by tiny bit. The musical montage for the day's project came delayed and halting, much to her embarrassment.

"Cantcha' get with the program?" Buford bellowed from across the yard. "I'm tryin' to bust into song here!"

And she put even more effort into fully focusing on the project, and eventually the music came, if a bit quieter than usual.

Even as she worked, however, she kept her newfound goal at the forefront of her mind. There was something going on in the Flynn-Fletcher house, and it was something - something she didn't like. Now, watching Ferb, of all people, for clues was just about as useless as the day is long. Why did her crush's brother have to be so…  _inscrutable_  all the time? Without Phineas around to translate for her, those silent stares and infrequent blinks were simply impossible to decipher. She tried, for a good few minutes, but eventually gave up in frustration. If Ferb had something he wanted them - and her - to know, he'd say so. If not… well, they'd probably never know.

Nevertheless, Isabella remained determined. She'd more or less expected these to be the results of her trying to read Ferb anyway. It was, apparently, something that took a lifetime of practice to fully grasp. Practice she didn't have, and couldn't feasibly gain over the course of a single afternoon.

Then, right on the dot of noon, her phone buzzed in her pocket, signalling an incoming call.

_Finally!_  she thought, snatching it from her pocket. Now she'd hopefully get some real answers, or at least some something she could work off of to get to an answer.

Excusing herself from the backyard, she retreated through the sliding glass door and into the Flynn-Fletcher's living room.

"Hello?" she asked almost breathlessly as she accepted the call. "Ginger?"

"It's me," the voice came from the other end of the line. "Sorry I couldn't call you back until now. Stacy was off at some - something, I guess, and I couldn't get ahold of her long enough to get a straight answer until just now."

"And?" Isabella prompted. She waited silently for her friend to continue.

"Well, the gist of what I got was this: Candace told Stacy that she broke up with her boyfriend, and that-"

"Wait,  _what_?" Isabella interrupted, her curiosity to hear the rest of the story temporarily forgotten. "Candace - broke up - with  _Jeremy Johnson_? Why? I - wow." She blinked. This was not a piece of information that she'd expected to hear. Phineas' sister's relationship with Jeremy Johnson had always seemed so… well, maybe a  _little_  unbalanced, but it had lasted for years and years anyway and… wow. She never thought that she would have seen the day.

"I don't know why," Ginger's voice came again. "And I'd feel pretty safe guessing that Stacy doesn't either." The other girl chuckled briefly. "There's a lot my sister can do, but she sure as heck can't keep a secret from me."

"Okay…?" Isabella urged. With the shock of news quickly wearing off, she was really wanting to steer the conversation back to Phineas. What had happened to his sister no doubt sucked for her, but it was Candace's brother she was interested in primarily.

"Well, you haven't heard the rest of it," Ginger said. "And it basically confirms that I was right last night, too."

_That Phineas_ is _actually doing something with his sister?_  She thought.  _But it can't be._

And it couldn't be. Not after… what she'd seen and heard this morning. No, it had to be something else.

"So, I asked Stacy how come she hasn't gone to, you know, be with her friend in this whole thing. And she told me that apparently Candace told her that she was 'fine' and 'didn't need to bother worrying about her' because she 'wasn't alone'." Ginger paused for a breath. "And knowing what you told me last night, everything makes perfect sense. Obviously the  _reason_  that Candace is 'not alone' is because someone is with her. And who else has been missing for the past week?"

The question was almost rhetorical in nature. It all made sense - the puzzle pieces were all there.

All except one.

Ginger hadn't been there this morning - to hear that - that  _tone_  that was so unsettlingly out of character for Phineas Flynn. And it was that  _tone_  that was the one piece that refused to slot neatly into the puzzle. Everything else fit, more or less. Everything except that.

But it  _had_  to fit - somewhere, somehow. She wasn't imagining it - it had most definitely happened. But why? The whole thing just stunk of… something. Something that she didn't like the stink of.

"You still there?" Ginger asked.

"Yeah - yeah, I'm here," she replied. "Thanks for calling me back. It's, uh, been helpful." She plopped down on the Flynn-Fletcher's couch, sinking into the well-used cushions.

"Sure thing," Ginger answered. "Guess I'll see you, uh, it'd be Monday, right?"

"Yup," Isabella said, temporarily lapsing back into Fireside Girl Troop Leader mode. "Monday at seven-thirty. I think it's gonna be the  _Surviving Harsh Environmental Conditions_  one. We'll meet at my house, like normal."

"And then proceed across the street, yeah I know." the other girl interrupted. "I'll be there. I'm gonna go for lunch now, though. Talk to you later."

"Alright. Bye," Isabella replied, letting the phone fall to her side as the call disconnected.

She inhaled a deep breath, then let it out even more slowly.

_Everything fits,_  she thought.  _Everything except…_

She rolled her eyes at herself. This was getting ridiculous, if she did say so herself.

_Think logically about this,_  she ordered herself firmly.  _His sister broke up. Of course he'd want to comfort her. It's, you know, it's the nice thing to do._

Something about even  _that_  idea made her uncomfortable. Phineas was… well, he was so blind to people's feelings sometimes. And not even maliciously… but he'd completely missed her attempts at flirting so many times that it somehow stung a little bit to realize that he'd been ditching everything else over someone else's emotions. Why did he get to be so sensitive to  _Candace's_  feelings? How come he could sense  _hers_  and not Isabella's?

Even as she thought it, her conscience kicked her in the gut.

_Way to go,_  she thought.  _Now you're getting jealous of the person who is not only his_ sister,  _but who also apparently just broke up with her boyfriend. Yeah, because_ that's  _not selfish at all._

Obviously, the mundane answer she'd been seeking was here, right in front of her face. Candace had broken up, and Phineas, in one way or another, had  _somehow_  realized what that meant. And he had decided to take time out of his schedule to help his sister. It explained… well, it explained everything. Phineas' absences, Candace's absences - that she'd noticed but not really thought about - and exactly  _why_  he was going into his sister's room every day. It seemed the mystery was solved.

But was it, though?

There was still that last annoying piece of the puzzle that refused to go anywhere she tried to fit it in.

It was stupid, really, to get so worked up over two miniscule words. 'I am.' That was all he'd said. That - and his drawn-out sigh.

But it wasn't what he'd said. It was  _how_  he'd said it.

And of all people in the world, Isabella could recognize the undercurrent that had been spread so thickly in those two words. She'd  _dreamed_  of hearing that current in his tone one day. She'd fantasized about it so often that sometimes it was hard to draw the line between what was fantasy and what was real. The Fireside Girls called it 'Phineasland' sometimes. To hear him simply say 'Isabella, I  _love_  you! In an entirely non platonic and unscientific way!" would have made her happy beyond her wildest dreams.

And now, this morning, for the first time in her life, she'd  _heard_  the voice of Phineas Flynn come out positively _dripping_  with a dreaminess that was in stark contrast to any she'd ever heard from him before. But it  _wasn't directed at her_!

And  _that_  stung.

And _where_ could it have been directed, anyway? If what Ginger had said was true, and she had no reason to doubt it, then there was literally  _no one_  who could have been the intended recipient anywhere around.

'I am', he'd said, when she asked if he was enjoying himself doing whatever he was doing. But that flew directly in the face of what Ginger had suggested, and all but proved. But if he was comforting his sister after a breakup… Isabella frowned deeply as she sat on the couch.

It just didn't mesh. Something wasn't right. He couldn't have been up there with his sister all that time - just couldn't have been. There was no way on earth that  _freaking_  breakup comforting his  _sister_  would have inspired such a response. There  _had_  to be something else.

Isabella leaned back and thought hard, trying her best to fit all the conflicting pieces of evidence together into some semblance of sense.

Once Baljeet  _had_ told her about a machine that Phineas and Ferb had built - a machine that could separate things. It turned a swordfish into a tuna and a cutlass, a calendar into a stack of looseleaf paper and a pile of dates, and a grapefruit into an orange and a bunch of grapes.

And, coincidentally, it was also apparently capable of tearing people in two.

She wasn't  _quite_  sure how that was supposed to work, in all honesty. But that was hardly unusual either, and certainly no reason to doubt the veracity of Baljeet's claim.

So, that could explain it, right? That Phineas had somehow torn himself apart and one half of him was the half in Candace's bedroom, and the other half was out and about, doing…  _something_ that would inspire him to react in the way he had this morning?

She shook her head vigorously, astounded at the sheer stupidity of the idea. Phineas was, well,  _Phineas_. The idea that he would do or show any sort of feeling even remotely related to romance was… frankly, it was outlandish. And to believe that he would cook up some convoluted scheme that involved literally rending himself in twain to not only  _have_  a 'romance' of sorts, but also keep it hidden? No. Just… no.

Of course, he'd start having those feelings  _eventually_ , when he realized what was between  _them._  But the words he'd uttered this morning had most definitely  _not_  fit that bill. And that was what was making the whole thing so endlessly screwy.

Because if not her… then  _who_?  _How_? And maybe most important of all:  _why_?

And try as she might, no answer to any of those questions could be found.

The sliding glass door slid open and the silence of the living room was shattered.

"Isabella?" Baljeet asked, poking his head inside. "Oh, there you are. We have finished the project, and I would just like to inform you of that fact before we begin the game. Are you planning on coming out to join us?"

With another heavy sigh, she picked herself up off the couch and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Thanks for letting me know."

Baljeet nodded again in return. "But of course."

She trudged behind him from the living back into the yard, and followed his example as the day's activity began in earnest. But this time, her troubles weren't so quick to go away in the face of what could have been a good time. Every passing moment that Phineas was gone seemed to be another moment when he was off doing…  _whatever_ he had been doing that had inspired him to utter those two awful words this morning.

All through the afternoon, the steam built up inside her, increasing in pressure until she felt like she was going to explode. She  _had_  to know what was going on - simply  _had_  to. And not even know where Phineas was going - if they wanted to keep their sister's breakup under wraps it was probably at her direction, and Isabella really couldn't have cared less one way or the other about that.

But what it was that made him speak and act the way he did? That she  _had_  to know. It obviously had nothing to do with the whole 'comforting his sister' deal. But what  _did_  it have to do with?

She just didn't know! And the frustration at her own ignorance boiled all the more violently the more she thought about it.

By the time the afternoon came to a close, things had just about reached critical mass. The giant lawn darts/missiles whatever-they-were got struck by a reddish-orange beam of light from the sky and spontaneously transformed into so many ducks, which promptly flew away, quacking loudly. Ms. Flynn-Fletcher arrived at home at that exact moment, and as was normal, offered them pie.

And she ate it, but couldn't enjoy it. Not anymore - not knowing what she knew now, and knowing what she  _didn't_  know.

As the time after the project wore on, Buford and Baljeet both took their leave and disappeared from the house. But she didn't - she  _couldn't_. She needed answers - she needed  _something_  - anything that would put this thing to rest.

No one had said anything when she remained at the Flynn-Fletcher house later than she normally did. She sat awkwardly on the couch, staring off into space, waging the internal war that had been going on ever since this morning.

But she'd have to leave and go home eventually. And before that happened - she  _had_  to have more information. It wasn't an option - she simply had to.

Ferb was sitting silently across the couch from her, with his feet propped up on the coffee table, reading some book.

Ugh. This was going to be awful. Conversating with Ferb without Phineas around to translate was slow, it was halting, it was awkward, and it often left her frustrated.

But that simply wasn't important anymore - not compared to what was going on with Phineas. Isabella just flat-out refused to believe that Ferb was completely clueless as to what was going on with her crush. He was  _there_  this morning! He had  _heard_  those words that had been haunting her all day. And he didn't think they were _unusual_? No - that was just not possible.

She loudly cleared her throat, and saw his eyes flick up from the page to meet her own.

"F - Ferb." she started, as confidently as she knew how. "Ferb, we _have_  to talk."


	11. Realization

"Ferb, we have to talk."

The statement was so forceful that it immediately captured his attention. He could tell by her tone that something serious was up. And not just her tone, but the fact that she was independently trying to strike up a conversation with  _him_.

So, he mentally filed away his current page number - halfway down two hundred and ninety-six - and closed the book, placing it on the couch next to him.

Sitting up straighter and removing his feet from the coffee table, Ferb turned until he was directly facing Isabella. She seemed nervous for some reason. And frustrated. Not at him, he hoped, though he was unsure what he could've done that would merit her ire anyway.

"I'm about to ask you a really, really stupid-sounding question," she said, hesitating. "But I swear that I have good reason and I need, like really need, you to answer me."

He raised one eyebrow a little ways. Where was this going? He honestly had no idea. It must be something important, though, if she thought it necessary to first ensure that he answer. He didn't talk much, to be fair, but had never been opposed to speaking up if it was necessary.

She looked at him for a few moments more, then took a deep breath. "What in the freaking  _world_  is going on with Phineas?!"

Ferb blinked in surprise at the outburst. This… this was not what he'd expected this conversation to be about. With Phineas? He felt the tiniest of urges to roll his eyes dramatically, but resisted. It had been a  _long_  time since Isabella had complained to him about his brother. On the order of years, almost.

Of course, she hadn't given up in her pursuit of Phineas, but Ferb was not inclined to get himself tangled up in a matter such as that. It could quickly turn messy at a moment's notice, he knew, and he wanted as much distance between himself and the issue as possible. If it worked out, everything would be fine. And if it imploded, at least he'd be fairly insulated from the blast and resulting fallout that was sure to follow. At its root, it was between Isabella and Phineas - and simply none of his business.

That couldn't exactly apply when she insisted on  _making_  it his business, however.

"Ferb!" Isabella demanded. "I said I need an answer!" Her tone was almost confrontational to a degree that was rather shocking. Then again - this was a matter that she had a lot of passion for. Perhaps he could forgive her this one time.

"Please?" she added, almost begging.

Ferb blinked once more, and then took a breath. What was she expecting him to say, anyway? Was this even about her constant attempts to flirt with his brother? It didn't  _seem_  so - she'd never acted so… straightforward? about it in the past. At least, she hadn't for a good while now.

_Oh, well,_  he thought.  _Go with what you know._

Which, based on what she'd said - wasn't exactly much. What was  _going_   _on_  with Phineas? Not that much, as far as he'd seen. He'd been interrupting the normal schedule for a bit to help Candace recover from what was apparently quite a messy breakup, but other than that, seemed perfectly normal to Ferb.

As he thought about it, there  _did_  seem to be something else a bit off, but that was probably just the general oddity of the schedule being broken after so long.

So, perhaps she was upset _about_  his breaking of the schedule? It seemed reasonable enough. And knowing Isabella, Ferb was sure that in some way or another, this linked back to her crush on his brother. Did she just want to have her mind set at ease that no, Phineas was not abandoning her?

"Ferb…" she said. "Please, I can't tell what you mean when you just blink like that. You're gonna have to, you know, actually  _answer_  me."

So he would. Only around Phineas - and Candace, on  _extremely_ rare occasions - was that not necessary.

"Phineas' feelings for you have remained unchanged," he said aloud. "Despite his recent trend of breaking the schedule, I've yet to see anything that would give me reason to believe he's either accepted  _or_  rejected your advances."

"Oh, haven't you?" she almost demanded. "You haven't? That's - no, that's impossible. You've had to have seen it! You  _were there_! This morning!"

Now he was thoroughly confused and unsure as to what she was talking about. Of course he'd been there this morning - so had she. What had happened that was so obvious that it was apparently impossible to miss - and yet had still snuck by him?

He mentally replayed the morning's events in his head. Well, Phineas  _had_  been somewhat quieter than usual, he supposed, but that wasn't anything to get worked up over to this degree. Then again, this was Isabella, after all. He supposed that she might have taken it more to heart than was logically reasonable to do.

If he wished to communicate this to her, however, chances were great that he would have to, once again, speak aloud.

Before he could speak however, she exploded out with another almost desperate sounding exclamation. Apparently he'd taken too long to mull things over.

"Surely you have to know what I'm talking about!" she insisted. "You were literally sitting right next to him! When he sat there and  _sighed_  like a - I don't know! - and went - went…" She paused and took a breath, looking up at the roof.

" _I am_." she drawled sweetly, in a much higher-pitched voice than before.

"Like  _that,_ " she insisted, returning to her normal tone. "I  _know_  you heard it, too."

He leaned back and thought for a second. Now that she mentioned it, he supposed that was a pretty accurate imitation of the way his brother had sounded for that brief period of time. Ferb tilted his head upward, studying the ceiling. Huh. Maybe this was a bit stranger than he'd first assumed. Because his brother  _had_  sounded like that, hadn't he?

It was actually pretty funny, if you thought about it.

"You're right," he admitted aloud, for her benefit. "I hadn't noticed before, but you are right."

She scooted farther back into the couch, as if slightly satisfied with herself. But that emotion was fleeting and soon disappeared into an ocean of worry that swept across her face as clear as the daylight.

"No, you don't get it," she said, concern clearly marking her tone. "He wasn't talking like that because he was finally starting to see what's between  _us_. It wasn't - wasn't directed at me. It was meant for  _someone else_ , Ferb. Someone else! How - how - it can't be. But it is! And I don't know what to do."

Once again, he leaned back in thought. She was right - the words didn't seem to have been directed at her. But then what - or  _who_ , as ludicrous as the idea was - could have been the intended target? They'd been talking about Phineas' extended efforts to help Candace recover from her breakup. As he was prone to do, Phineas had almost let the secret slip, but Ferb had jumped in quickly enough to stop him before that happened.

Then Isabella had said 'Well, at least you're enjoying yourself.'

And  _that_  was when Phineas had sighed so uncharacteristically and said 'I am.' - and said it in such a way that it had convinced Isabella that he was... starting to _crush_  on someone else. He smiled as he thought of it. The idea was entirely bizarre… and yet, he couldn't quite deny that tone, now that it had been brought to the forefront of his mind.

Ferb frowned slightly as he recalled the events of the morning. It was rather strange, wasn't it? His thoughts drifted back to the past week and a bit that had gone by. Was there anything else unusual that he'd so far failed to notice?

As far as he'd originally thought, no. Well, aside from Phineas shaking up the normal schedule for so long - but that could be easily be excused. After all, he  _was_  spending that time trying to help Candace out of her slump, and seemed to be doing pretty decently at it, as far as Ferb had seen.

That wasn't too terribly unusual. He knew well enough how close his brother was with his sister, and he was sure that the emotion was returned in kind, although Candace tended to show it less than Phineas did. So, really, it only made sense for Phineas to decide upon flouting the schedule so. It had never been a secret that Phineas was incredibly admiring of and close to their older sister. Even from way back in the day  _before_  she joined in their projects with them, that had always been a constant. Ferb certainly loved his sister, and was confident that she loved him too, but there was something Phineas and Candace had between them that he had yet to match. Perhaps it sprang from a time, many years ago, when they were alone. That was certainly a reasonable assumption.

And was there anything else noteworthy? Well… not really, to be honest. But now that it'd been mentioned, he  _had_  heard his brother speak in that tone before. Just as recently as last night, even.

They had been up in their bedroom, preparing to go to sleep, and as was his wont, Phineas was rambling on at length about every subject under the sun. First the topic of the conversation had been what they'd had for dinner, then it had changed to prospective plans for future inventions, then back to that night's dinner. In one way or another, however, the topic of discussion had gotten around to Candace's slow recovery from her break up.

"I don't know, Ferb," Phineas had said, his voice slowly dropping some of its normal enthusiasm in favor of the dreamy tone that had become such a mystery. "Everything seems like it's going swimmingly. I don't want to, you know, jump to conclusions or anything, but - but, I don't know." He stopped for a second, but not really with an air of one who hesitates. "Candace - she - I don't know. She's getting back to her old self. It's great! It's - it's funny. Well, not funny. I  _feel_  funny, I mean. But it's in a good way, almost like - like on Thanksgiving when you eat until you're  _just so full_. You feel kinda weird - almost queasy - but at the same time, it's  _so_  good."

Ferb hadn't thought much of it at the time, simply ascribing it to… well, he hadn't really ascribed it to  _anything_. And not really even thought about it all that much. But now, as he sat on the couch and attempted to 'simply ascribe' it to a cause, he realized something quite odd. It - well, it wouldn't go anywhere.

Now, that  _was_  quite funny, wasn't it?

Trying to tack his brother's jumbled words onto excitement that Candace was feeling better made no sense. Since when did that sort of thing make you feel 'almost queasy'? And even if it  _did_  make Phineas feel that way for some reason, that still wouldn't explain his far-away, almost quixotic tone.

It was almost the same tone that he heard every morning, running through Isabella's casual greetings - stemming directly from the crush she'd nursed on his brother almost as long as he could remember. But Phineas didn't have a  _crush_  on anyone. His brother? A crush? The idea made him smile.

But the smile slowly faded as he mentally compared to the two tones in his head. They weren't merely  _almost_  the same thing, he realized. They  _were_  the same thing. Down to the last inflection - laden with the sort of pining that he'd grown accustomed to seeing in Isabella on an almost daily basis. But in his  _brother_? The idea nearly defied his comprehension. To think that someone had finally gotten through the obliviousness that Isabella had been trying and failing to break through for years… Ferb was both impressed and confused and amused at the same time. And more than everything, just plain surprised.

It really  _was_  funny, if you thought about it.

But there was a chink in the theory.  _Who_? Who was the person who'd managed to finally penetrate his brother's oblivion - and to such a great degree that it was becoming noticeable to the people around him? This sort of thing had only really been happening for the past week and a half or so. And Phineas had spent the last week and a half cooped up in the house with…

…

Suddenly, it wasn't so funny anymore.

"...Ferb?" he heard Isabella ask, her voice slicing through the sudden cacophony in his brain. "Are - are you okay?"

The question snapped him back to reality and he blinked once - twice - thrice.

"You went like, pale, for a second," she pointed out. "I - it was kinda freaky. But you are okay, right?"

He went pale? Well, it was entirely forgivable in his mind, considering the shock. But he couldn't just leap to a conclusion this far-fetched without at least… at least making  _some_  effort to disprove it. Ferb had had a crush only once in his life, many years ago on Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. It had been as strong as any, but had kind of fizzled out without going anywhere. He'd not seen or even thought of her for a very long time now, but could still clearly remember the feelings he'd had when he saw her for the first time at the blueprint warehouse.

At least  _Ferb_  had had the presence of mind to realize what it was that he felt - and not so horribly misattribute the butterflies in his stomach to 'queasiness'. Any other person he would have instantly labeled as being purposefully obtuse. But Phineas… well, he could believe it.

"What is it?" Isabella insisted. "I know I'm terrible at reading you - but, come on. Even a literal blind person could have read you just then. You've got to tell me!"

He had to tell her? When he could barely process the concept himself?

Because if he was right - and you'd  _better_  believe he was looking for  _any_  way to disprove himself - it would mean that Phineas most certainly  _did_  have a crush… even if he was somehow unconscious of it himself.

But not just  _any_  crush. A crush - a crush on their  _sister_.

Ferb felt a shiver run up his spine as he internally recoiled from the idea. It was disturbing - it was unnatural - it was just flat-out creepy in more ways than one.

And it actually made sense.

But what was the worst of all - the more he thought about it, all the missing puzzle pieces clicked neatly into place, almost effortlessly. As he pondered his brother's behavior in  _this_  context, it all came and meshed flawlessly together, forming a perfectly clear picture.

A picture of a boy - teenager - who had an incestuous crush on his own sister.

_No,_  he thought.  _I'm jumping to this conclusion based on almost no evidence - and without even talking to Phineas himself._

But despite what he told himself, the evidence seemed overpowering. And though he mentally pushed the conclusion away until he could find a time to talk to Phineas, it towered over his subconscious, overshadowing all else in his mind.

How else could you explain the seeming ease with which Phineas had tossed aside the old schedule in favor of sticking with his sister? Sure, you might pin it on a purely platonic bond - but assuming that flew directly into the face of the decidedly  _non_ -platonic tone that his brother had begun lapsing into using. And the feelings he had been struggling to describe almost each and every night.

How could he have missed this? Now it seemed - it seemed so  _obvious_.

How the long rambles that Phineas would embark on in the evenings, spinning on at length about every subject under the sun, often instantly devolved into stammering and awkward, forced similes when the subject of Candace's breakup recovery was brought up. But not her recovery specifically - instead, how he  _felt_  about it - about  _her_.

And yet, time after time, the subject would be brought up again and again - as if he simply couldn't get his fill of talking about it.

Ferb was used to sitting back and letting his brother steer the conversation wherever he desired. When you didn't speak aloud that much, letting others direct the flow of chatter came naturally. But still, there were only so many times Phineas could bring up the strange things he was feeling while comforting Candace before it cast severe shadow over the nature of their bond. At least, there should have been. How had Ferb not seen it?

Having missed all this at the time only made it hit harder now, as the realization became clearer and clearer.

And his own thoughts came back to haunt him. Just minutes ago, he'd been wondering who it had been that had managed to pierce Phineas' oblivion in such a short amount of time, when Isabella had been failing for years. He wondered no longer. Because no one had done anything in a short amount of time - that would have been simply impossible. But Candace? She  _hadn't had to._  Because unlike Isabella, Phineas had been rubbing shoulders with his older sister for literally his  _entire_   _life_.

"Ferb!" Isabella exclaimed again, the exasperation in her voice once again bordering on demanding. "What is it? You've  _got_  to tell me. Phineas is - he's - I  _love_  him, Ferb. You know that. I know you know that. You've got to tell me what's going on!"

And of all times to discover that his brother was harboring  _romantic_  feelings for their  _sister_ , he had to do it now. Sitting directly across the couch from the girl next door, who had crushed on Phineas since almost the day they met. If Ferb was right, as he feared he was, then there was no way he could break the news now.

_And I still don't know if I_ am _right, h_ e told himself.  _It's surely possible that Phineas will have a different - and completely mundane - explanation for all this, right?_

He feared that such would not be the case. But he couldn't worry about that right now. There would be plenty of time for it later. Right now he had to deal with Isabella Garcia-Shapiro.

But for the first time in as long as he could remember, Ferb simply didn't know what to say.

What  _could_  he say? Tell her the truth? That seemed like a bad idea - one that would only lead to utter disaster. The subject of Phineas' feelings was one that was very near and dear to Isabella's heart. And for her to so suddenly learn that not only did the boy she'd crushed on for years indeed like someone else, but that that 'someone else' was, in all likelihood, his  _own sister_?

Ferb considered himself to be… quite impartial in most ways, and tried his best to always look at both sides of a situation before passing judgement on it. But  _this_? It was almost too much for _him_ to process right now. And he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that the girl sitting across from him would not be so calm in the face of what appeared to loom in front of them.

Then what could he say?

Lying was never a good idea. All that'd do would be to make everything that much more convoluted and painful when the truth eventually came out. But if telling her the truth was a bad idea, and he'd made up his mind to not lie…

"Isabella," he said slowly, carefully forming the words. "This is a matter that concerns my brother very personally. As such, I feel it would be best if I talked with him before discussing his feelings."

There. That was a good compromise. And it was entirely true - Ferb  _had_  to get ahold of and talk to his brother, if not for quite exactly the reason he had implied.

Because only by talking with Phineas could he ever truly put the matter to rest. And however slim the chance might be that Ferb was drastically missing the  _real_  root of the recent goings-on, he was unwilling to fully commit to such an… idea until that chance was entirely eradicated.

This was not the sort of thing you guessed at. This was the sort of thing you  _had_  to know. For  _absolute_  sure.

But Isabella was clearly not satisfied with the non-answer he had so delicately tried to pass off.

"Oh, come on!" she replied, the frustration boiling out of her tone. "I already know something's going on. I just - I just need to know with  _what_. Or - or  _who_. Because it - it's supposed to be  _me_ , Ferb! Not anyone else! Do you  _know_  how long I've waited to hear him speak like that to - to  _me_?"

Ferb nodded grimly.

He understood very well exactly how strongly she felt on this subject. She'd let him - and everybody else - know a long time ago, and reinforced that knowledge every passing day. The day she ever realized that the object of her affections had… other ideas about where his romantic interest should lie would be a dark day indeed.

But there had to be some compromise he could reach with her - one that would at least allow him time to bring up the matter to Phineas first.

Ferb wasn't quite sure why he felt this way. He should be absolutely disgusted at what he thought was inside of his brother's subconscious mind. And to be fair, in large part, he was. The idea of seeing his stepsister in a romantic way was entirely repulsive to him. But although he considered his brother's apparent crush fully indefensible, Phineas was still his brother, and nothing, not even - not even what seemed to be a latent incestuous crush could change that.

And thus it was that he found himself inclined to give his brother the benefit of the doubt, even on a matter such as this. No matter how unsavory he found the idea of his brother indeed harboring such feelings, Ferb was still unwilling to act rashly or without thinking - Phineas deserved at least that much. Whether Isabella could find it inside herself to come to such a similar conclusion seemed highly doubtful to him.

Even as all these thoughts were running through his brain, he could see her simmering in annoyance and exasperation at his repeated avoidance of direct answers.

Maybe it was time to be more straightforward.

"I cannot give you an answer in good conscience until after I have talked with my brother," he repeated firmly. "At the moment he is otherwise occupied with our sister," Doing  _what_ , he briefly wondered, shuddering slightly, before putting the thought out of his head. This  _was_  still Phineas after all, the boy so oblivious he had somehow developed a crush  _without realizing it_. "But if you will give me until next morning to discuss this matter with him, then I can promise you a direct answer then, at the very latest."

He really  _couldn't_  promise her a direct answer. Why did he say that? He'd just been looking for something to temporarily sate the girl, but  _that_? He felt urge to kick himself very strongly just then. It was only going against his own rule - to never get tangled up in the affairs of others - they were not his business, and it was best if they stayed that way. But ignorance is bliss - and, sadly, he was no longer ignorant.

Isabella frowned deeply, quite obviously upset with the world.

"Oh, come on!" she protested. "You can't be serious! This is  _important_  to me! What - what if I just go up there right now and ask him myself what's going on?"

She could try that all she wanted, he thought. But she hadn't been privy to his and Phineas' many late-night conversations that had been chock-full of disturbingly clear implications that had still somehow slipped under his nose. And without  _that_  knowledge, he was confident she would be unable to uncover the truth on her own. Besides, for reasons still unknown to him, Isabella refused to directly state her feelings to Phineas. So he highly doubted that she would do so here, either.

And by her own reactions, he could tell that something of the same sort must have been running through her head too. Her eyebrows lowered, and her eyes narrowed to tiny slits.

"Fine," she said flatly, staring daggers at him. "But I _will_  be back over here first thing tomorrow morning, and I swear, Fletcher, if you don't give me a direct answer, I'll - I'll - I don't know! But - but you will, right? You  _promised._ "

That was true. Wise or unwise - he had indeed. And it was probably a decision he was going to regret come tomorrow morning. Still, he nodded slowly. A promise was a promise, and surely there was still a chance that he was misinterpreting everything. Surely.

Ferb almost laughed at his own attempts to lie to himself. Who was he kidding?

_I'm kidding no one,_  he thought.  _And until I hear it directly from Phineas himself, then as far as I am concerned, I am wrong._

It wasn't like he was going to be debating this for much longer. The afternoon had slipped away and evening was fast approaching. Soon enough Phineas and Candace were going to come back from wherever they were, and then, there would be words.

Isabella huffed and groaned dramatically, but eventually relented, and the subject was at last dropped from conversation, though not from his mind.

A few long minutes passed, and she slid off of the couch in a huff and stalked out the sliding glass door, disappearing into the backyard - probably heading towards to her own home.

Once alone, Ferb inhaled deeply and let the breath out slowly.

All of the sudden, this summer that had seemed so similar to the ones before had been turned on its head, and he was unsure if this was the sort of thing that one could feasibly recover from.

He picked up his book and tried to get back into it, but his brain refused to focus on the written words. Instead, it flew back once more into the past, dragging up incident after incident that had seemed so perfectly ordinary at first. It was like looking at them all under an entirely different light now - now that he suspected what he did.

The time a week and a half ago when Phineas had complained about feeling sick to his stomach after Candace had exploded at him, and then stormed off. How he'd been unable to let the situation go all day. The many times he had come into the room beaming with a radiant glow that should not have been possible for a person who just spent hours in a room trying to cheer someone up. The times he had confusedly wondered aloud why he so strongly desired to hold his sister's hand when they were out. The time he had sprawled across his bed and straight-up said, "I don't really  _know_  how I feel, you know? It's weird. But good. Like those 'mystery flavor' candies. You can't really name what it is, but you still like it. And I do."

How much of that had been natural brotherly affection for a sibling who just went through a no doubt painful break up? And how much had been something… else? There was just no way of knowing,

But Isabella had seen the signs. And once she'd pointed them out, the whole house of cards had come tumbling down.

He  _had_  to get ahold of his brother. And tell him…

… tell him  _what_?

Tell him that such a thing was unnatural? That it was repellent, that it even now made small shivers of distaste run up his spine?

And, for some blasted reason, he  _didn't want_  to tell his brother that.

Phineas was so - so  _innocent_. It was strange to think that, especially when Phineas was not even a full year younger than he. But it was undeniably true. And Ferb had no doubt that this - this crush… on their  _sister_ , as morally reprehensible as it _seemed_ , sprang from only the best and purest of roots. Heck, it appeared as if his brother wasn't even  _aware_  of his  _own crush_. And what could you do with that?

Ferb refused to allow this train of thought to proceed any farther, as he realized where it was inevitably heading.

Incest - it, well it wasn't right. That was the socially acceptable norm. But why?

Well… there were the nasty effects it could have on reproduction, via blunting the body's naturally redundant chromosomes. That was a reason - and a decent one too.

Ferb shuddered again, suddenly realizing that he'd just glossed over the fact that for such a thing to even be remotely relevant, his brother and sister would have to have  _children_  together.

And what made it worse? The knowledge that even  _that_  ultimate justification for avoiding such things could easily be circumvented. All it would take would be afternoon's work, most likely, less if they could get a musical montage started. The design of a device capable of opening a human chromosome set and detecting and repairing errors wouldn't be nearly as complex as some of the things they'd done in the past.

He jumped up off the couch, shaking his head back and forth, trying to rid his head of these thoughts.

Even as he thought these things, he knew what the ultimate climax of his internal debate would be. He could already sense it, somewhere deep in his subconscious.

If he had to admit it, Phineas'  _crush_  was the most surprising part of the whole thing. That it was on  _Candace_?

...not so much.

He had just been thinking about the close bond between his brother and sister. And, honestly, it made a frightening amount of sense, in its own strange, strange way. Phineas was almost infinitely friendly, and would have no doubt have tried to build bridges (both figuratively and literally) with anyone he met. Was it so far-fetched to believe that the person who had been there for his entire  _life_ , more or less, might eventually grow to become the object of an affection that was deeper than purely platonic?

And the stark truth, was no, no it wasn't.

Ferb knew about the Westermarck effect - reverse sexual imprinting - the concept that 'familiarity breeds contempt', the normally almost hardwired tendency of the human brain to cease seeing potential romantic partners in persons one grows sufficiently close to in other ways.

But he also knew that 'normal' was the farthest thing from an accurate descriptor for his brother. And as the shock of the realization slowly wore away, he almost accepted it. The idea was still off-putting and unsettling, but that was more viewing it from  _his_  own perspective. Would  _he_  ever crush on his older sister?

The question was met with a resounding mental 'no'. But  _Phineas_ …? Knowing what he did of his brother's relationship with their sister, and knowing what he knew from the past week? With the slightest of sighs, he at last relented to the inevitable.

Yes, he  _could_ see it.

Well, whoever the object of his brother's crush was, it  _was_  his brother's crush. Which meant it had nothing at all to do with him, thus, being firmly in the realm of things that were not his business.

And as a general rule, Ferb liked to remain out of things were not his business. If it had been at all feasible, he would have liked to simply let the situation remain as it had for the past week and a half. If Phineas was too blind to see his own feelings, then nothing would happen, and no one would have to deal with the potential fallout of such a situation developing further.

But the problem was, Isabella had noticed that something was going on. And although she had eventually given in to his demand that she wait until the next morning, he doubted he could keep pushing her away forever.

And so he found himself caught between a rock and a hard place. How would Phineas react to having the correct label put on his feelings? How would Isabella react to the realization that her almost life-long crush actually  _did_  have feelings for someone else?

Neither of those things seemed particularly desirable. But if one was to be avoided, then the other must be invoked. Why had he so rashly made that promise? It was probably all that had convinced Isabella to so grudgingly wait. But tomorrow morning was not going to be fun because of it.

Still, when it came down to actually making the choice between the two, his mind was made up in an instant. He  _had_  to talk to Phineas, and had to get the correct label applied once and for all. And knowing his brother, Ferb was simply unsure as to what that might bring. Phineas was entirely unpredictable sometimes… and giving him the label would also give him an outlet for his heretofore stifled feelings, an outlet which had never been opened before.

As he slowly climbed the stairs from the living room, he knew one thing for sure. Whether or not Phineas' crush ever went anywhere, some things would never be the same again.

Even as he waited for his brother and sister to return home, he still found himself unsure as to what he would say.

His own personal inclination when it came to audible speech was 'less is more'. Simply, to be as concise and straightforward as possible. But to handle such a convoluted situation  _concisely_ … well, it made him wonder if it was indeed the best way.

But the truth often stung, and although Ferb was still unsure as to  _who_  exactly it would sting this time, he still determined to just be as straightforward as possible.

Oh, who was he kidding? This was  _Phineas_. Trying to have a conversation about this would probably require an amount of bluntness that would have offended any other person on the planet. And even having the conversation  _still_  wouldn't put the matter with Isabella immediately to rest. But if Phineas knew the real reason for the 'strangeness' he kept constantly bringing up - then he could also at least make some effort to hide it.

Whether that would have any degree of success at all was still up in the air. And it was probably doomed to fail, considering his brother's dismal track record when it came to such things. And Isabella's record when it came to  _finding out_  such things.

Ferb reached up and ran his hand through his hair.

No matter what he did, or tried to do, eventually the full truth would come out - a truth that would probably bring with it a host of unpleasant conflicts and clashes. He could only hope that he could at least delay the inevitability.

And if he delayed it long enough, maybe it would peter out. Maybe Phineas would realize that his feelings for his sister were far-fetched things that Candace would never return in kind. And maybe the whole situation would collapse in on itself, releasing the pent-up steam out slowly and gently and quietly.

At this point, that was really all he could hope for.

He almost felt guilty for finding himself wishing for such a thing. If his brother really felt as he seemed to, then even the most gentle of collapses would be painful. And never in a million years would Ferb have done anything to harm his brother - emotionally or otherwise. But the sort of relationship that he was now almost sure that Phineas subconsciously wanted with Candace could never  _really_  happen, could it? To think so… it was absurd, right? It was - it was  _impossible_.

And even he recognized the irony in that thought.

The silence of the bedroom was broken by the sound the sliding glass door downstairs opening. The time of confrontation was at hand. Ferb sat down on his bed and waited patiently, sure that his brother would come up in no time at all.

"...that wasn't so bad, now was it?" he heard Candace's voice say.

"No, no it wasn't." That was Phineas.

"And you thought you'd be bored, didn't you?" Candace laughed briefly. And Ferb did have to admit, she sounded a lot like her old self. Whether or not there had been anything beneath the surface with Phineas' attempts to comfort her, he had done well.

"Well, not really," Phineas replied. Ferb could hear them coming up the stairs. "I knew that between us, we could find someway to make it exciting. I wish Ferb could've been there. It would have been awesome."

There was a brief pause before she answered.

"Yes, yes it would have, I guess," she finally said. "Well, I have to go change - and probably shower. Look at this! Can our washing machine even get motor fluid off?"

"I think so," Phineas answered. "Once I spilled some oil on my favorite shorts, and it came right out after I ran them through like three times."

"Uh huh. Guess I'll have to see. Well, I'll be out in a bit."

"Okay."

Ferb heard Candace's bedroom door shut and latch. And, just as he had expected, moments later Phineas himself bounced into the room, absolutely glowing.

"Hey Ferb!" he greeted, flinging himself down on his bed and sighing long and loud.

Ferb was taken aback by the look in his brother's eyes. It was that same look that Isabella carried with her everywhere Phineas could be found - starry-eyed and oh so unsubtle. How could he have missed this before? Now it was so obvious it was almost like looking at an entirely different person.

If he had had any doubt before, it was put to rest almost immediately. Now there was just one final step to being  _absolutely_  sure - getting confirmation from Phineas himself.


	12. Revelation

"Hey Ferb!" Phineas exclaimed, throwing himself across his bed. The frame squeaked a bit under the sudden weight. "How have you been today?"

The question was as much a reflection of his own mood as anything else. He saw Ferb nod slightly and launched into excited speech.

"My day was  _great_. Candace and I, we went up to the Googolplex. Which you might think is boring, I know, but it was actually great fun. We built up this giant mechanical, like, flying - well, it didn't _fly_ , technically. But it  _did_  hover, and it hovered awesomely! But one of the propellers fell off and Candace spilled a whole container of aviation engine fluid on her shirt, which was kinda bad because then we had to go buy some more, but at the same time it was really funny." He stopped, remembering the incident and almost cracking up again.

He wasn't one to laugh at others' misfortune, and when the accident had actually happened, he'd been concerned and a little frightened for her safety.

But nothing had been damaged or broken, aside from the horridly stained shirt, and she was the first one to laugh, signaling that it was safe to join in. And it  _had_  been funny.

He quickly inhaled and was about to resume the story of the day's exploits when something in Ferb's face stopped him. It was something… oddly serious, and entirely unsuited to the lighthearted tone of the story he was telling.

"What're you thinking about?" he asked instead, rolling over on the bed until he was directly facing his brother.

Something was bothering Ferb, he could almost immediately tell. Oh! He knew just the way to fix this - a bit of good, old-fashioned blueprinting. It was the same thing Ferb had suggested some time ago when  _he'd_  been feeling down, and now it was time to return the favor, apparently. Which was completely okay with him - he'd had this really cool idea involving an enormous amount of packing peanuts that he'd been dying to get down on paper.

He slid off the bed and stepped over to the desk in the room's corner, pulling open the drawer where was stored the rolls of blank blue paper. This was going to be awesome.

"So I was thinking," he began, unrolling the paper and picking up his pencil. "Remember yesterday evening when we ran out of grape juice in the middle of dinner? How cool would it be if there was a cup that, no matter how much liquid you poured out of it, never emptied?"

It  _would_  be cool. And then they could combine it with the giant styrofoam-

Phineas paused, the train of thought coming to an abrupt halt. Ferb still hadn't moved from his place on the bed. And he still had that same expression on his face - an oddly serious one, for some reason.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "You coming down with, like, the flu or something?"

It seemed like a fair assumption. Linda had had him take some of the tylenol from the bathroom cabinet last night, after he'd complained about the unsettling knots in his stomach that seemed to linger whenever he was around Candace. Phineas had hoped that the medicine would have been enough to nip the quasi-illness in the bud, but maybe he'd already become contagious. That would be unfortunate - though it  _had_  been almost a year since an illness had swept through the household, and it was bound to reoccur eventually.

Still, even if it was too late to fully avert succumbing to sickness, Ferb should at least take something to help reduce its intensity.

"I'll get you the stuff from the medicine cabinet," he announced, dropping the blueprinting supplies onto the desk in a pile.

But Ferb shook his head the tiniest bit.

Phineas stopped, confused again.

"You don't feel sick?" he asked. "Well, that's good, I guess. I was afraid I'd gotten you with whatever I seem to be getting. Though I'll admit, it has been a weird sort of thing to pin down." He paused. "I don't really have any symptoms typical of the flu except for the weird sort of stomach thing I've told you before. But it's not really  _that_  kind of feeling either. It feels - well, it feels kinda  _nice_ , in a weird way." He shrugged. "But everyone is affected differently, I guess. I took the stuff Mom gave me mainly because I didn't want anyone else to get sick, especially with me spending so much  time with Candace - and it's always the worst around her for some reason."

Come to think of it - maybe it wasn't so strange the way he had been feeling. Perhaps he was mildly allergic to something in Candace's room - so mildly that it hadn't been able to bother him before, but with his extended stays in there recently, had finally gotten to him. And the allergen, whatever it was, was the root of his symptoms. The knots in his stomach, occasional bouts of lightheadedness, and the way his skin sometimes flushed. It all made sense, really.

Except for the lingering feeling of warmth and general  _nice_ ness that he was pretty sure was not part of any allergic reaction. Oh, well. It wasn't worth worrying about.

"You know, I think I may actually be having an allergic reaction to something," he said, shrugging. "So I guess you don't have to worry about me infecting you or whatever. But what's up with you anyway? Are you sure you feel alright?"

Ferb blinked stoically, but his face betrayed hints of amusement.

Phineas smiled. That was what he liked to see. Maybe whatever it was had passed. That meant they could get back to planning out potential future projects. And if they finished this one, they could take it across the hall and show it to Candace and see if she had anything else to add. It'd been awhile since she - or he, really - had worked on one of the usual summer vacation projects. And this styrofoam thing would be an awesome way to get back into it.

"Well, then," he resumed. "As I was saying before, we get should get these giant chunks of styrofoam and-"

He felt Ferb's gaze change again, from amusement back into seriousness - or amusement tempered with seriousness. Perhaps with the slightest tinge of something else that he couldn't label at first. Which was kind of weird in and of itself. He squinted at his brother, and eventually settled on… resignation? Of some sort. He began to get a sense that his brother knew something he didn't.

Ferb took a deep breath and motioned out in the direction of the bathroom.

"Allergies?" Phineas asked, a bit unsure of the meaning he'd picked up on. It seemed rather off-the-wall. "I mean, I know it's not the  _best_  explanation. But it's the best I can come up with off the top of my head. And it's not like it's something worth worrying about that much anyway."

Ferb rolled his eyes.

"What?" Phineas asked again, growing more confused every second. "I - I'm not following you, bro."

Ferb opened his mouth, as if he was preparing to speak, but didn't say anything. Instead, he sighed.

Phineas raised his eyebrows. He could tell something was going on - something that wasn't so simply explained away by sickness. It was something more serious than a mere bout of the common cold or flu. But what was it, then? He wasn't sure. Usually he could read his brother quite well, but for some reason, the look in Ferb's eyes defied all his attempts to label it.

"You're worried about a… spatula?" he guessed. Ferb shook his head. "Yeah, I kinda gathered that from context. Was kinda just taking a random shot in the dark there."

Not being able to instantly decipher what his brother was thinking by his face was an uncanny feeling. He studied his brother's face for a moment more, trying in vain to get ahold of whatever slippery meaning was behind Ferb's eyes.

Ferb was  _worried_ , and slightly  _amused_ , with hints of  _resignation_ , that much he could tell. But it stopped there. So, Phineas shrugged and pulled out the desk chair, sitting down. He'd simply have to wait for his brother to explain himself.

The silence that settled down didn't last long.

"Really, Phineas? Allergies?" Ferb said quietly. "You can't think of any other reason?"

The question didn't do much to enlighten him on the mystery, but Ferb tended to not waste any words, so Phineas knew that it must be important in some way.

"Well," he began. "I mean, there  _are_  other possibilities, I guess. I just chose the most plausible one." He paused for a second. "Let's see. Stomach knotting is caused mostly by blood leaving the stomach for other parts of the body, usually in a fight-or-flight response of some kind. It can also feasibly be caused by shock, injury, gastrointestinal issues, um, also fear and love and hunger and basically any strong emotion, really. Candace told me that  _her_  stomach felt all messed up just after her breakup, you know?"

Ferb blinked once, giving off the distinct air of a person who is surprised when they know they really shouldn't be.

Phineas reached back and picked up a pen from the desk, passing it back and forth between his hands.

"So what's that got to do with anything anyway?" he asked. This was almost fun, like a mystery of some sort. But the look on his brother's face was a little too serious for him to get fully at ease. Something was bothering his brother, and that was bothering him.

Ferb motioned at the picture frame sitting on the desk.

"This?" Phineas said aloud, turning and picking it up. It  _was_  a nice picture, he thought. It was a family picture from the time they went down to the beach last year. Everyone was in it - even their grandparents, Betty Jo and Clyde, and Perry, though as Phineas remembered, the platypus had disappeared soon after. "What about it?"

He blew on the glass covering the picture and rubbed it on his shirt in an effort to wipe away the thin layer of dust that had collected on it.

Ferb pointed at the picture again. Well, not the picture  _exactly_ , but someone in it. Specifically, Candace. Phineas looked down and studied the picture in his hand. It  _was_  a nice picture, he decided again. It appealed strongly to him for some reason. The beach was a nice place, he decided as well. He hoped they would go again soon - there was always new and exciting stuff to do there. Maybe he should bring it up tonight at dinner.

Oh, wait - did Ferb want to know how Candace was feeling? That was fair enough, though he wasn't sure why he hadn't been able to pick that up from his brother's mannerisms. Ah well, it wasn't a big deal. After all, he  _had_  kind of just jumped into the story about the fluid spill and such.

"I think Candace's feeling better," he said. "Of course, you'd have to ask her if you wanted to know for sure, but from what I've seen, it's going - it's going good. Though I should think that you've seen that by now."

Ferb nodded patiently, and pointed at him.

"Me?" Phineas questioned. "Well, it makes me feel… good, I guess. I mean, not I  _guess_  - I do feel… nice. Like, I'm happy for her, of course, but…" He stopped to think. "It's sort of like… uh… well, words kind of fail me here, don't they? I mean, I'm kinda running out of similes to use here. To just  _describe_  it, though: it's like a weird mixture of happiness and nervousness and… well, everything, really. Just sort of imagine every emotion rolled up into a giant ball and there you have it."

Oh! Giant balls - that gave him an idea. If they got a boatload of molten rubber, then with a little bit of effort it would be possible to produce-

The train of thought was lost when Ferb cleared his throat.

"Sorry," Phineas apologized. "I just had another idea, is all. Was there something else you wanted to know?"

Ferb sighed again, a way that seemed to further cement the already-present hints of resignation in his eyes. "Let me ask you this instead," he said aloud. "What do you think about love - specifically  _romantic_  love?"

Phineas frowned, a bit surprised at his brother's unusual chattiness. He set the picture frame back down on the desk and picked up the pen again, tossing it up into the air and catching it. Say, if he had more of these he could probably juggle them. He was just about to try when Ferb's stare redirected his attention back to the present.

"Right," he said. "Sorry. Uh, romance. Like what - Baljeet and Mishti? Or… Mom and Dad? Or Can-mmm." He stopped to idly click the pen a few times. "I know plenty about it, I guess. It's... nice? I mean, flowers and music and meals with candles and cupids and sinking cruise ships into the Danville Harbor. What's not to like?"

Ferb nodded and gestured for his brother to continue.

But what more was there to say? Phineas didn't  _mind_  romance, really. Making it for Baljeet and Mishti that day a few years ago had been quite fun, actually. But, again, what else was there to tell? He shrugged slightly.

"I'm kinda drawing a blank here," he responded to his brother's silence. "I - I don't really know what you're wanting from me." He grinned sheepishly. "If this is some kind of, like, puzzle or something, I'm sure I'm doing really bad already. Why don't you go ahead and tell me the answer, and then I can kick myself for not getting it."

He accidentally made a line across his palm with the pen, and took to wiping at the ink to get it off before it dried.

"Phineas," Ferb said aloud for the third time, which was enough to make him immediately forget about the ink and look up at his brother. Man, he  _was_  feeling quite loquacious this evening, wasn't he? "Phineas, I'm going to be exceedingly blunt right now, since my efforts at gently introducing the subject have so far failed. Before you answer me, I want you to take time to think  _very_  hard about what I'm about to say." He paused, and Phineas nodded, once more becoming confused. "Based on the things you have been telling me - and by the same token, been  _unable_  to tell me, I've become almost certain that you are indeed  _in_  love, to some unknown extent, with - with _Candace_."

The words dropped into the room and hung there for a moment. Phineas was taken aback at first.  _In_  love? Him? Wasn't he a little young to be in love?

Well, yes. Yes he was.

He tilted his head as he thought about it anyway.

What was being in love anyway? Was that  _really_  what he'd been feeling for his sister? There was no denying that he loved her, but to be  _in_  love with her?

His thoughts immediately flashed to Candace's relationship with Jeremy Johnson. Then again, considering how that had come to such a jarring end, perhaps it wasn't the best of places to start. So he thought instead about Baljeet - the only other of his friends that had really professed an interest in romance of any kind. He thought more about the day they all had worked to create romance between those two. The cruise - the dinner - the flowers - the band - Buford in only his underwear - and then, as a last resort, sinking the ocean liner.

And he recalled the end result of everything, when it was all said and done. Baljeet and Mishti, together, standing in each other's arms, not really  _doing_  anything - but just standing there. And watching the sun set over the ocean.

But maybe that wasn't a good example either - after all, Mishti  _had_  gone back to India, and he'd not seen her since.

So what about their parents, then?

What did he know of the relationship between his parents? That they loved each other - they were _in_  love. They lived together. They shared a room. They saw each other every day. They went out together - not just, like, to the store, but  _out_  out. Like, on dates. Excursions with no purpose other than purely to spend time together. They did things for each other. They hugged each other. They sometimes hugged for extended periods of time - just sitting together, like when watching a movie or even just doing nothing. They kissed sometimes. They'd been together for as long as he could remember, and were planning to continue to be together for the rest of the foreseeable future - and the unforeseeable, too.

They were  _in_  love with each other, there was no doubt about that.

But did he want that sort of thing with Candace? As he thought about it, he found it the decision not nearly as hard or complex to make to as he had at first expected, even though the concept had never been one he'd thought about very deeply, if at all. Gears in his brain that had long remained still began turning, shaking out dust and cobwebs that had accumulated over years of disuse. It seemed deep thought or long meditation wouldn't be necessary. He wouldn't need to make a long list of pros and cons, or to travel into the future and ask his older self for advice, or even to wait around and sleep on it.

Because, deep down in his gut, he could  _feel_  it - the warmth, the coziness, the sense of belonging. Was that being in love? He didn't know. At least, he hadn't known.

Phineas' eyes slowly widened. It was like there was a whole new world opening - one that he had seen, but had never experienced for himself. Or hadn't he? He'd felt this way for a while now. And in that moment, as the silence hung like a thick curtain in their bedroom, he knew beyond all doubt that he  _did_.

He did!

He did want to live in Candace's company, to spend the days in proximity to her. To go places with her - to all the wonderful places that the universe held. To do things for her. To hug her - to be together - to kiss her - to do _all_  those things. The idea of doing that… it felt  _right_.

The knots in his stomach were back - that slightly queasy giddiness - and he could feel his face flushing with excitement. But it worried him no longer - because know he knew the cause. And the creeping feeling of warmth and general niceness that lingered whenever he was with her, that feeling that he'd struggled for so long to label.

Ferb was such a good brother, really, and perceptive, and thanks to him, Phineas now knew why he felt the way he had. Allergies. Pfft.

Candace was his sister, and he loved her. He always had, and always would. But, more than that, he was  _in_  love with her.

He was in love!

The statement couldn't be stressed enough, he felt.

_He was in love!_

"Ferb!" he exclaimed, perhaps a notch or two louder than was appropriate. "You're right! You're right!" He was becoming more excited with each passing second.

Phineas sprang up from the chair, hardly able to continue bottling up his exhilaration. The pen fell onto the ground and rolled underneath the desk. Somebody'd have to go down there with a flashlight and find it eventually. But not him, not right now. He couldn't have cared less about that pen right now. It was just a cheap plastic one anyway - and he was  _in love!_

The darkening evening sky outside seemed as bright as day, and the rising moon smiled warmly upon him through the window. Through the wall, he heard a muffled thump - as if Candace had just shut her closet door or dropped something on the floor.

_Candace!_  He thought excitedly.  _I've_ got _to tell her!_

Would she share his feeling - this wonderful, almost rapturous euphoria that seemed to permeate every fiber of his being, down to the very last quark and antiquark that made up who he was? He hoped so - and there was only one way to find out.

He almost knocked over the desk chair in his enthusiasm, as he darted across the bedroom floor. But before he could make it more than a handful of feet, Ferb reached out and grabbed ahold of his arm, bringing him to an abrupt halt.

"Ferb?" he asked in confusion. "What is it?"

Oh, maybe Ferb had even more news for him. Although Phineas would have been hard pressed to come up with any better news right now. Maybe if the Super Duper Mega Super Store decided to give out free building supplies? No, this was still better. And he had to tell Candace - tell someone - tell anyone - tell everyone! To let the rest of the family, no, the neighborhood, no the - the entire  _Tri-State Area_  share in the amazement he was feeling right now. It was going to be great.

But Ferb had stopped him. Why?

The look on his face must've told Ferb all it needed, because he pointed back to Phineas' bed and motioned that he should sit.

Somewhat curious, Phineas obeyed, although he was hardly able to sit still even so. Having learned what these feelings  _were_ , at so long last, he wanted to act on them! And so very badly, too.

"I say this as a person who has sufficiently reconciled with his initial internal misgivings and  _is_  willing to support you in this path," Ferb said aloud.

The sheer fact that his quiet brother was speaking yet  _again_  cut through the excitement-fueled daze that was clouding Phineas' brain. He blinked twice and took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself.

Ferb waited for a moment or two, and Phineas could tell he was weighing his words carefully. "I would recommend you against being so… outspoken about the way you feel."

Wait, what? Phineas scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "But - but why?" he asked. "I just want everyone to know! You don't know how  _happy_  I am right now. It feels - it feels  _amazing_. To know, like - like... ahh." He sighed a bit at the thought.

Ferb nodded silently and a small smile appeared on his face. But he didn't budge - instead he turned and pointed across the room at the family picture on the desk again.

Phineas turned back to the picture. "What about it?" he wondered aloud.

It  _was_  a nice picture. And as he studied it, he couldn't help but smile at Candace in the picture. There was no doubt in his mind anymore about how he felt. He wanted to build something very large and very soft, and just wrap his arms around it and squeeze it as tightly as he could. Or… Candace? He wanted to hug  _her_. Was that okay? It was, right? He could easily recall the last time he'd seen his parents hug each other. And he remembered how he'd felt when he hugged Candace in the hallway last night - though he hadn't known then why he felt that way. And _that_ was the way he wanted to feel.

Even as he stared at the picture, however, he could feel the realization of Ferb's meaning breaking through.

"Wait a second…" he said slowly. "It's - is it because it is a  _family_  photo? I mean, you know, Candace and I, we're in - we're family?"

He turned back to his brother and saw a hint of relief on Ferb's face.

"No, you don't have to explain  _everything_  to me," Phineas remarked, smiling at his brother. "I can pick up on some things, at least." He paused for a moment, his smile fading somewhat. "But… well, I mean - wouldn't people just be happy for me? It makes me feel so warm inside, Ferb. And I want to feel like that, you know?"

Ferb shook his head apologetically.

Well… there was some word for this, but Phineas had forgotten what it was. Wait, no he hadn't. It was, uh, in… uh, incense? No - in _cest_. Yes, that was the word. He remembered the cold, logical dictionary denotation of the term, too - 'relations between people classed as being too closely related to marry each other'. It wasn't something people in general would accept, he realized.

But honestly, he really didn't care, either.

The way he'd felt all week when interacting with his sister just… it was both amazing and scary at the same time. But he couldn't just drop it now - not when he'd only just learned what those feelings were. There were too many unexplored possibilities, too much untapped potential to give up. And the dictionary's frigid definition of the term failed entirely to capture the warmth that was conjured up in his insides when he was around Candace. Warmth that was all at once comforting and calming and invigorating and energizing. The feelings he'd had last night in the hall. Was that what they were?

And so what, then, if 'people in general' wouldn't accept it? 'People in general' didn't accept a lot of things, he'd found. 'People in general' didn't accept that it was possible travel faster than the speed of light - but they had. 'People in general' didn't believe aliens existed - but they did. 'People in general' didn't think that it was possible to build a roller coaster or skyscraper in a day's time. But Phineas and Ferb had done all of that, and so much more!

So what, then, if 'people in general' didn't want to accept his feelings for his sister, or denied their existence? They were  _his_  feelings, after all, and not those 'people's' anyway. And  _he_  knew the way he felt - that those feelings were indeed real. Real enough that he couldn't just deny them. Even though he had only just now gotten an accurate label on them, the feelings had been there far longer than just the few minutes that had gone by after he and Candace had arrived home.

"I know what you mean," he repeated aloud. "But - what can I say? Isn't subverting normal expectations of possibility kind of our thing?"

He blinked and looked back up at his brother.

Ferb reached up and ran a hand through his hair, as if admitting to that truth. Still, in his face Phineas could see the objection still remaining.

"I know, I know," he said, answering his brother's unspoken words. "But, Ferb, this - it's like looking at a blueprint for something  _awesome_. And you know you want to do whatever it takes to get the awesome out of that blueprint and into reality. And I know how I feel. I just - I've got to get this blueprint completed. A blueprint, might I add, that you gave me." Phineas stopped and smiled broadly at his brother. "Thank you, Ferb. Really, seriously, thank you."

Ferb smiled back and nodded, though Phineas could still see some traces of worry in his brother's eyes.

"Maybe the Mysterious Force will help us keep this out of people's attention," Phineas joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Ferb smiled slightly again, but shook his head.

"I know," Phineas repeated. "It was just a joke. I'll - I'll be discreet, okay?"

Ferb only rolled his eyes, but the implication was clear. Phineas sighed.

"Alright," he said slowly. "I guess - I guess I can keep it a secret." He paused. "No one should know? Not even, like, Buford and Baljeet and Isabella?" The thought of denying his closest friends information on this latest development in his life didn't sit well with him. But if that's what it would take in order to make this work, that's what he would do. "And Mom and Dad?" he continued.

Ferb nodded once again.

Phineas swallowed. More secrets. He hated keeping them, and wasn't very good at doing so anyway. But it would be worth it, he realized, as he caught another sidewards glance at Candace in the family photo on the desk.

"But I've obviously gotta tell Candace, right?"

The question was entirely rhetorical. Of  _course_  he had to tell her. He was in  _love_  with her, for goodness' sake. He wanted to tell her - to see if she shared these feelings. And to do things together with her - all the things they'd done long ago for Baljeet and Mishti.

To go out - just to be with her. To hold hands, to hug, to kiss. To eat dinner together, with candles - actually, scratch that, a bonfire, because if candles were romantic then imagine how much more romantic an entire bonfire would be. To listen to music while eating, and there would be flowers too. Did Candace even like flowers? He'd never really seen his sister pay much attention to them before, but he could get some if she did.

Some really cool ones too, like the pretty red-and-yellow  _Dendrobium uncharticum_ , that only existed in uncharted regions of Africa.

Oh, and cruise ships! Or sinking them, at least. And Buford in his underwear. There was so much he wanted to try, to do, just to see how it felt and what it would be like.

But something in Ferb's eyes still gave an answer, even to the entirely rhetorical question.

"But - but why?" Phineas asked, growing confused.

Ferb blinked, and gestured again to the family photo.

"I know that," Phineas repeated. "And I already agreed that I'll - that it would be best if we, you know, kept it on a need-to-know basis. But Candace needs to know - how else will I know if she feels the same way I do?" He leaned back on the bed and sighed. "We could go somewhere romantic, like, uh, where's someplace romantic? Paris, right? That's romantic, I think. Although we have been there before and it didn't really seem like it - but we were also on a deadline, plus there was no one there to be romantic with. Just imagine! No deadlines, no rush, just Candace and me and..."

The thought made him smile so broadly it almost hurt. He was pretty sure that anyplace would have worked just fine, though. Even the city sewer where Candace had wrestled that alligator would have been okay with him - and that place reeked of discarded food and human waste. Just so long as she was there too.

Ferb stood up and sat down on the desk chair. His expression was somewhat sympathetic, though Phineas could tell he was a little uncomfortable nonetheless.

Wait. Could - could that be it?

"You're saying that even Candace might not - might not be, uh, open to the idea, because - because we're family?"

Ferb seemed relieved now. He nodded again, and gave a small thumbs up.

So that was right, then. Phineas frowned slightly. He hadn't thought about this before. It was... unsettling.

But why would she mind?  _He_  knew well enough that they were family - and it certainly didn't bother him. Candace was his sister, yes, but he wanted her to be more, too - more in a way that he still couldn't quite explain.

Even as he was thinking those things, however, he realized that Ferb was not entirely mistaken.

_He_  didn't mind what people might think about his feelings for her. He was pretty sure that Ferb didn't mind - at least, if he did, he was being awfully helpful despite that. But Candace?

Candace was different from him in a lot of ways. One of those ways was that she cared a lot more about what people thought about things. About the things she did, and the things she wore, and the places she went. He'd heard all this, and more, from her over the course of the past week and a half.

Phineas sometimes wondered why - especially with all amazing things she could do, why did she even take time to care, to let it bother her? He didn't. And he was pretty sure Ferb didn't either. But she did anyway.

It was just another part of why she was… who she was. Yes, that was an alright way to put it. And he loved her for it - was  _in love_  with her for it.

The idea still made him giddy.

But now... it appeared as it would become an obstacle instead. Because how could he act on the feelings he now knew he had if - if Candace would object to them on such a basis? Flimsy as the basis may have been, the idea grew even more unsettling the more he thought about it.

He would have to find some way to break the news... gently, as people said. To bring it up slowly, and not simply spring it all out at once as he was accustomed to doing. It would be tricky. But if that'd be what it would take to make her comfortable with the idea - that that'd be what he would do.

And then there was the whole deal with her breakup. The breakup that had made him begin feeling this way in the first place. Why had it worked like that? He was unsure. Something about looking at his sister, on that night when he had followed her so far back in time, and seeing her so... broken. It had done - done something to him. It had been like a spark - just a small one, perhaps - but that spark had had the fortune to land on a heaping pile of dry tinder built up inside him.

And he could feel the fire burning even now, so brightly that it seemed less like a fire and more like a high-capacity nuclear reactor. That ran on pizzazium infinionite - with an output of what he'd estimate to be anywhere from 70-100 terawatts. And a cooling system that...maybe it was time to let this simile go.

Would Candace even be ready to try again - so soon after her first long-standing relationship had fallen apart? Would she want to?

The thought made him uncomfortable. Now that he knew why he felt this way, the idea of not acting on it had become nearly intolerable. He wanted to, oh so badly. He almost  _had_  to.

But for Candace - well, he could manage.

He turned back to Ferb and let out a long, pent-up breath.

"I see," he said simply.

Ferb blinked, and a silence descended over the room while Phineas remained deep in thought.

"I see," he repeated. "But I can't let that stop me for good. It might be hard - it might be confusing - it might be - I don't even know all the things it might be. But when have we ever let those things stop us before? And this is - this is different from our projects. But yet, it's also the same. In a way. What I mean is I have to try, at least. I love her, Ferb. And I'm in love with her. It feels - it feels strange. But at the same time, it's so nice."

Ferb said nothing, as he usually did. But he nodded slowly, and his face seemed to show that he had no more objections to raise.

Phineas grinned at his brother.

"So what do I do, then?" he asked. "If I can't just, you know, straight-up ask her out on a date or a cruise or something."

Ferb shrugged, and the look in his eyes was clear enough.

_I don't know._

Now it was Phineas' turn to blink silently at his brother. _Ferb_  didn't know what to do?

Ferb was always the person he turned to when he needed help with things of this nature. Well, he'd never needed help with anything of this nature specifically, but with deep stuff in general. Ferb always knew what to say, or what to do. Perhaps it was because he didn't talk much - he was more of a man of action. Hence, he always knew what to do in slippery situations like this one. Situations that couldn't necessarily be resolved with a screw gun and a blowtorch and a pile of scrap metal.

But now Ferb didn't know what to do? That certainly didn't bode well.

"What do you mean?" he asked, hoping that he'd maybe misunderstood his brother's face.

"I can give you advice on romance," Ferb remarked quietly. "And I can give you advice on interacting with siblings. But ne'er the twain shall meet - this is a situation with which I have no experience, and so cannot attest to the potential validity of anything I say."

"But you do have, like, ideas, right?" Phineas asked again. "Even if you aren't completely sure of how accurate or applicable they are."

His brother tilted his head slightly, then, at last, nodded. He breathed a sigh of relief. Even if Ferb wasn't completely sure of himself, Phineas was confident in that his brother would still know best what to do.

If it had been up to Phineas, he would have done what he always did when faced with an issue: confront it head on. He wanted nothing more right now than to march to the pink-painted bedroom across the hallway and confess his feelings to Candace - no matter what her response might be. Beating around bushes was not something he took to naturally, nor something he did well.

But Ferb was right: and this situation, these feelings, they were all new to him too. As well as that, he had to consider what his brother had pointed out - that Candace would most likely not so easily shrug off the commonly accepted opinion of romance between siblings.

He had to consider her feelings on the matter, to weigh them carefully, and to come up with a method breaking the news to his sister in a way that would not put her off - to show her how he felt. And he'd have to do all of that without involving - or even telling - his closest lifelong friends. The ones he told everything.

The idea of that did not appeal to him at all, not in the slightest way, shape, or form.

But if that was what was necessary, then it was necessary. And he would do it.

"So... what do you think I should do?" he asked.

Ferb blinked and pointed at the bed.

"You think I should sleep on it?" Phineas echoed.

Ferb nodded, smiling.

"I guess so," Phineas continued, more to himself than anyone else. "Sleep on it and see if the morning brings any new ideas or developments. I suppose that's a good idea."

He'd been in the dark about his own feelings for this long, what was delaying one more day? It'd be one more day without knowing if his sister would return his feelings - but only one more day. And, again, Ferb was usually right in situations like this.

Okay. He'd sleep on it.

"And tomorrow?" he asked again.

His curiosity was getting the best of him again, as it often did. In the corner of his eye, he could see the family picture still sitting on the desk - and Candace's face as she smiled out of the frame.

Ferb held up his hands. Apparently the suggestion of 'sleeping on it' had been as much for his own benefit as Phineas'.

"...oh," Phineas said. "Well, I'm sure we'll figure something out." A pointed glance from his brother caught his eye and made him crack a smile. "Or I'll figure something out, I guess. With your help, of course."

Ferb sighed, but did so in a comically exaggerated manner that made his brother laugh.

"Don't worry, bro," Phineas said at last. "Everything'll be alright. You and I and Candace and Mom and Dad - we're family. And I'd never do anything to mess that up." He paused, momentarily becoming serious once again. "But Candace and I... I want us to be more than  _just_  that, you know?"

It sounded cheesy, he thought, even as he said it. But it was true.

And when Ferb nodded, Phineas could see in his brother's face that, even in this, he had a supporter. And it meant a lot to him, really it did.

He was about to say something else, perhaps crack a joke or go hunting under the desk for that pen he'd dropped under there when they were interrupted.

"Phineas! Ferb! Candace!" Linda called from downstairs. "It's dinner time! Come get it before it gets cold!"

That made him perk up for sure. Dinner!

"Coming!" he called back, shooting to his feet and bounding out of the room.

And it was delicious - not that he would have expected anything less. That Linda Flynn-Fletcher's tacos were the best in the multiverse, he'd known for a good while now.

But was more, now, as he sat in his chair at the table and ate, he knew what it was that was making his insides get all fluttery when Candace came downstairs and sat next to him.

_But I can't act on it - yet._  He reminded himself, even as he passed her the plastic bowl of sour cream.  _Remember what Ferb said. Sleep on it._

As he looked at her, even then, when she was dressed in those ratty Ducky Momo pajamas she refused to throw away that had somehow held together so long past their prime, he became even more sure and certain.

This was what being in love was like - it had to be. Ferb had seen it, and he had felt it.

It was different than he had expected. But also the same. It seemed that it existed in contradictions, didn't it?

Dinner passed quickly with such pleasant thoughts to wile time away, not to mention the food itself, or the lively conversation that was pretty much a hallmark of family meals at the Flynn-Fletcher house.

The time after dinner passed away similarly swiftly - doing one thing or another, as the moon rose above the horizon and the sky grew ever darker.

In a surprising turn of events - that perhaps wasn't so surprising after all - Phineas found himself not tired, but still eager to go to bed. Because the sooner he went to bed, the sooner he could get to sleep, and the sooner he could check off 'sleeping on it'.

What would happen in the morning? He still wasn't sure. Maybe a new idea would come in his dreams or something. Or maybe not - either way, he'd come up with something. Something to successfully demonstrate his feelings to his sister, in the most... gentle manner he could conjure up.

Or maybe he should just tell her? Wasn't honesty always the best way to go about things?

_Nope. Ferb knows this stuff better than I do._  He told himself again and again over the course of the evening.  _And he's probably right again, like he always is_.

The thought kept him company throughout the evening. He wasn't doing this just for himself - if that had been the case, he would have just broken the news long ago. No, it was for Candace too - to help ease what might, for her, be an awkward situation. When it was finally time to spill the beans, he wanted to make absolutely sure that she didn't feel as if she was suddenly in the spotlight.

How would he be able to spill the beans in such a manner, especially with beans this momentous? He didn't know - not one tiny bit. But there  _was_  a way to do it, somewhere out there, he was sure. And he'd meant to find it and put it up to good use.

When the time for bed finally came and he at last crawled under the covers, he was so excited for the upcoming day he could hardly sleep. It was a lot of the excitement he usually felt for the future - but it was also more than that. Because tonight, for the first time in his entire life, he knew he was in love.

With the girl who'd wrestled alligators, become supreme ruler of distant planets and exotic lifeforms, both circumnavigated and  _saved_  the Earth, and even once embarked on a quest to tear aside the fabric of reality itself to save them when they were trapped beyond it.

But there was more to it than that as well. Because Candace was also the person who'd simply  _been there_  for  _him_  his whole life, day in and day out. And although she sometimes got annoyed at him, and sometimes even left the daily projects without explanation, he knew that if he ever  _really_  needed, well,  _anything_  - she'd be there.

And he for her.

It was a lot like the way he felt about Ferb - or even about his other friends: Buford and Baljeet and Isabella. But different entirely at the same time. Because in addition to all that, in addition to loving her the way he had for his whole life: as a sister and a friend, he was  _in_ love with her too.

And the feeling in his stomach only served to confirm what his brain now knew. And as he lay in the bed, drifting gently off to sleep, he smiled. The blankets - no, the room as a whole - seemed warmer and cozier than it usually did.

_Oh, shoot. I totally forgot about that pen under the desk. Ah, whatever. I can just get it tomorrow morning._


	13. Crisis

Phineas' eyes abruptly popped open to the sound of the floorboards in the room squeaking.

"Hello?" he called drowsily into the dimness, blinking rapidly several times in an attempt to focus on whatever the source of the movement was. It was far too short and small to be a person and - oh.

"Oh, there you are, Perry. It was just you, huh boy?"

The platypus chittered softly and jumped up from the floor onto Ferb's bed - its occupant still sleeping soundly.

_What time is it anyway?_  Phineas wondered, stretching as he rolled over.

He reached out and grabbed the clock on the nightstand, rotating it so he could see the red digits glowing boldly into the dark room.

**4:57 AM**

Oh. It was only five in the morning. Well, he should probably head back to sleep then. He rolled over and pulled the blankets up tightly under his chin, fully intending to do so. The alarm would go off in less than another two hours, although he and Ferb were usually up before it went off.

But it was useless - his mind was well and truly awake, and refused to be stilled again. Several long minutes passed with him staring blindly up at the roof, his eyes tracing strange patterns in the ceiling. With a sigh, he tossed aside the blankets and sat up. If there was going to be no more sleeping, he might as well not waste time laying in bed. He could find something to do.

He glanced around the dark room, hunting for that something. His eyes fell on the family picture that had figured so prominently in yesterday evening's conversation with Ferb. The sight of the picture sent a jolt of recollection through him.

_It's tomorrow now. That means I've slept on it!_

Now  _there_  was reason to be up at such an early hour. He took a moment to think back on everything they'd discussed last night, everything he'd realized, everything he'd discovered. Had a night's worth of sleep changed his feelings in any way?

No, no it had not.

He climbed out of bed and walked to the window, pushing aside the blinds and the curtain. It was still dark out, which made sense considering the early hour, but the first faint glow of sunlight was nonetheless peeking out from behind the horizon.

_I'm in love._  He thought. He could hardly believe his own thoughts, but could no longer deny the truth of it. He was in love with his sister and it felt amazing.

So he'd slept on it - and tomorrow was here at last. Was today supposed to be the day that he told Candace how he felt? He wanted it to be. But the sleep still hadn't helped with yesterday evening's puzzle - namely, how to break this news to his sister with _out_  shocking her too badly, in a way that would make her open to the idea of returning how he felt.

Phineas didn't know what would happen if he failed. He hardly knew what would happen if he succeeded. All he could do was follow Ferb's advice and do his best to make sure everything turned out okay.

But there was another thing - even Ferb had admitted that he was unsure how things would work out - and how he should go about things. And if  _Ferb_  was unsure, then he  _certainly_  didn't know.

_Man_ ,Phineas thought.  _This sure is turning out differently from how I expected._

He frowned meditatively, staring out the window into the dimly-lit backyard. This sure would be a lot easier if Ferb was able to help him along. Not having his brother to fall back on meant that he'd have to come up with the plan on his own. And this was  _definitely_ not his area of expertise.

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to get advice from someone for whom this  _was_  their area of expertise? Ferb couldn't know  _everything_ , of course, although it sometimes seemed like he did - especially relating to things such as these, about which Phineas knew so little. How  _did_  Ferb manage to get so good at advice-giving? Who knew. But Phineas was often enough infinitely thankful for it, which was more than enough to override the fact that  _here_ , his brother wasn't able to offer any help. Or rather, that he was, but was 'unsure of its potential validity'."

His thoughts turned slowly back to his original wish- about how helpful it would be to be able to go get advice from someone who did indeed know about this sort of thing. Maybe someone who knew about  _everything_  - someone who was omniscient, in other words.

Sadly, none of his friends were omniscient _,_ as least not as far as he knew. Though it would be very cool.

_Hey, wait a second_ ,He realized.  _Just because nobody I know is omniscient doesn't I can't get advice from something that_ is _._

Even as he thought about it, he could feel a grand idea coming together in his head. It would be so simple!

"Ferb! Candace!" he said aloud. "I know what we-oop."

He abruptly cut himself off, and none too soon, it appeared. Ferb snorted in his sleep and rolled over, nestling deeper under the blankets.

Phineas waited silently for a few moments, but no further stirring came from his sleeping brother. It seemed as if that slight slip of the tongue had been stopped in time. It  _was_  only five in the morning, after all. Should he wake his brother for this?

He stopped for a moment to think.

No, it was alright. He could handle this one on his own, he was pretty sure. After all, it  _would_  be a recreation of something they'd already done once before. He only had to dig the old blueprint out of their archives and set to work. Chances were Ferb wouldn't  _mind_ , of course, but Phineas would feel kind of bad waking his brother almost two hours early just for a project rehash.

Usually he wasn't particularly fond of exact project rehashes himself either - but this time, he had a reason to do so. And a good reason it was indeed.

Bending down and pulling open the bottom desk drawer, he dug down into it until he found the binder labelled  **Permanent Project Records: 2017**. It was an older binder, from several years ago. He skimmed back and forth through its pages for a few minutes, at last settling on the right one. Carefully opening the binder rings and pulling the old blueprint out, he snatched up his phone and slid it into his pajama pants pocket - then quietly slipped out the bedroom door.

As the largest supplier of everything in the Tri-State Area, the Super Duper Mega Superstore was always open - twenty-four, seven, three-sixty-five. That had come in handy quite a few times in the past - after all, you never knew when you would be in the middle of an all-night sleepover and suddenly need three point seventy six nonillion tons of steel and fiberglass to literally spring an entire planet back into its rightful place. It was also useful for other, less dramatic and potentially end-of-the-world situations, like this one.

"Hello," Phineas greeted the customer service representative, after dialing the familiar number for store. "Yes, it is a bit early for me to be calling. Don't worry, I'm sure somebody'll be calling back a bit later at the normal time."

He double-checked the the old blueprint, refreshing in his mind the list of materials that he'd need. Without Ferb and the rest of their friends around to help trigger a montage, this might take a bit longer than it did last time. Then again, he was pretty sure he could get into the quirky worky mood all by himself.

Especially when he had an ultimate goal like the one he had now.

Thankfully, the early hour of the order didn't serve to delay his delivery. Paul, the mobile logistics technician from the Superstore, was still there in exactly seven minutes with the truckload of assorted raw materials and hardware. Phineas signed the papers, tucked the appropriately colored customer copy into the other pocket of his pajama pants, and quickly set to work.

_Hey, where's Perry?_  He thought, opening his toolbox.  _Oh, right - he's asleep in bed with Ferb. I guess I should be in bed too, technically. Oh, well._

The detailed drawing on the blueprint swiftly came together in real life as he worked - hooking up a giant monitor, aligning transistors, programming the motherboards, and pumping liquid helium for a cooling system. Sparks flew from his blowtorch as joists and joints were soldered and welded together.

And soon enough, sitting majestically in the grass before him, it was complete. Well, somewhat majestically. A  _little_ majestically, at least. Actually, in all fairness, it was rather short and squat and altogether less… aesthetically pleasing than he remembered. But that didn't matter so long as it worked, right?

"Hello, Phineas," the computer greeted in it's cool monotone. "It's been a long, long time. I've been very busy… being dead."

"Sorry about that," Phineas apologized, performing some last-minute adjustments to one of the processors. "The Force got you, I think."

"It  _was_  inevitable," the computer agreed. "So… what can I do for you this time? Would you like to ask a foolish question?"

Phineas raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Maybe in a second," he replied. "First, I want you to perform a preliminary scan of…" he paused, pondering how large he should set the scan stipulations. Well, the more base information the computer had to work with, the more accurate an answer he could get out of it. "...of everything."

"Initiating scan of  _everything_ ," the computer responded. "Now scanning - gathering data from all objects and inhabitants. Computing the logical outcome of all events."

A small antenna emerged from the top of the monitor screen, from which flashed a bright purple light that scoured every surface that the eye could see - and a few that it could not.

_Bing!_

"Done," the computer remarked coolly. "I have successfully scanned everything."

Phineas stuck his hands behind his back. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"One. Now three. And now five. And now all eight. And now none. And now three again."

"Seems like you're good to go, then," Phineas said. "And you're sure your database contains everything?"

"My database indeed contains everything," it answered. "My knowledge is complete. My logic, infallible. I can see you, watching me now. I can see three squirrels behind that fence, fighting over an acorn. The largest one will win. I can see a blue plastic ballpoint pen lying on the floor deep beneath your desk - and I know that it shouldn't be there. I can see watchers from the sky, and though they cannot see me now, they will at exactly... ten-seventeen AM. And I can see  _you_ , in a universe beyond our own, looking in on ours as if it were mere words on a page - or a screen, as it were."

"Yes, yes - that's great," Phineas spoke up. "Now, let's get down to business. I have a question to ask you."

"You can ask me anything, and I will attempt to provide you with an answer."

He rubbed his hands together excitedly. Maybe this wasn't going to be as difficult as he had thought last night. Why hadn't he simply thought of this then? Oh well, he had now.

"Alright, computer," he said. "So, here's my question, or rather, my puzzle. Well, it's sort of like a puzzle, like - well, you'll see."

He stopped and cleared his throat. What would be the best way to phrase this? And would the  _computer_  take offense to the nature of his feelings? He  _had_  programmed it with sentience, after all. Surely not - considering it was also omniscient. Well, there was one way to find out.

"So, I was recently… informed, I guess, that I've fallen in love. And - it  _is_  true."

"Congratulations," the computer broke in.

"Well, thanks," he continued. "But here's the thing: I've fallen in love with  _Candace_ , who as you know - since you do know everything - is my  _sister_. Now, I don't care. I really do love her - you know, in both ways. And if people don't like that, well, what they don't know won't hurt them, right? At least, it shouldn't in this situation. I'd not do anything that would hurt someone, but I really have to do something about  _this_."

He stopped for a moment, listening to the silence of the early morning broken only by the soft hum of the supercomputer's internal hardware. Would it be worth it to try explaining his feelings in more detail to the artificial intelligence in front of him?

_No,_  he decided, _If the computer wants more information, then it can just ask._

"So the thing is," he resumed. "How can I break this news to Candace without, you know, break it to her gently? I don't want to spring it on her all at once because she  _did_  just break up with her old boyfriend, and I  _am_  her brother, and I don't know how well she'll take it, and, well - that's pretty much it."

He nervously reached up and scratched the itch behind his ear.

"I see," the computer responded. "So you are asking me to see if I can find a way with which it will be  _guaranteed_  that you will not overly shock your sister with your… unique feelings?"

Phineas nodded rapidly. Yes, yes that was it.

"Calculating," the computer said.

_Bing!_

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid this does not compute."

"Wait, what?" he asked, a bit taken aback.

"For me to give a one hundred percent certain answer to what you are asking of me, I would have to be able to accurately predict the one unpredictable constant in the multiverse: free will."

He stared blankly at the computer. Well, he had built the thing, but hadn't thought about the effects free will might have on its accuracy.

"It's really quite simple," the computer proceeded to explain. "I scanned everything, as you requested, and then simulated the entirety of everything within myself - using my infallible logic to flawlessly predict the future. But you should know well enough that logic fails where the conscious mind begins. I can predict simple things like what will make someone happy, or what will upset them - but I cannot know their exact responses to complex situations such as yours. I am sentient, but it is an artificial sentience. You should speak to someone with actual sentience - and with emotions of their own. They can give you a better answer than I."

Phineas frowned. He… hadn't thought of this. It _was_ true. And also a bit disappointing. He should have thought about this before jumping headfirst into this thing. It might do him well in the future to think more carefully about things before simply doing them.

So... how was he supposed to figure out what to do now? Ferb was unsure and the unpredictability of free will kept otherwise-omniscient supercomputers from knowing.

He remembered his own words to his brother a few days ago.

_I just sort of jump right in, you know, and do my best not to overthink things too much._

"However," the computer continued. "Based on my knowledge of everything, I  _can_  attempt to calculate your  _chance_  of success in this endeavor. If you should so desire."

He perked up at the suggestion. Oh, this could be interesting.

"Sure," he replied. "Give it to me."

"Certainly," the computer said. "Based on my observations of you, your sister, your family, and everything else in the multiverse, and based on my knowledge of the past, the present, and the future, your probability of success is approximately… zero point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero…"

Phineas could feel a strange unease rearing its head inside him as the computer continued rattling off zeroes.

"...zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero  _zero_ percent."

"What?" Phineas blinked. "But that - that's the same as just zero percent. Why'd you list so many zeroes anyway?"

"I like the sound of the word," the computer answered, its monotone somehow conveying an image of a shrug to Phineas' mind. "But, yes, you are correct. The simplest form of the number is simply zero percent. Any chance of success is so infinitesimal that it is entirely statistically insignificant and therefore completely negligible. "

"So then… I just  _can't_ win?" Phineas asked. "Zero percent chance of success? That's - it's…" he stopped mid sentence and a small smile spread over his face. "So, what you're saying is that it's  _impossible_? Actually, you know what? I can work with that."

"Excuse me?" the computer echoed. "No, that's not what I meant. Why would you think that? Look, I would explain further, but my time is coming again. Good luck, I suppose - though I also know you won't get any. And three… and two… and one..."

Phineas took a step back as a bright lime green-colored shaft of light shone down from the sky, illuminating the computer. A loud, sort of squelchy sound could be heard, and it was lifted off the ground and into the the air. The noise grew louder and louder, then with a distinct  _pop!_  the computer and all its components simply turned into dust. The gentle morning breeze did the rest, scattering the grains of sand far and wide over the backyard. He blinked rapidly and waved his hand in front of his face to avoid any of them getting into his eyes.

"What're you doing out here so early?" Candace asked, suddenly in the backyard. Yikes! Had she heard anything? Where had he she come from anyway? Well, obviously through the sliding glass door but…

"Oh, hey Candace," he answered, smiling. She seemed to be feeling good this morning, if the tone of her voice was any indication. It made him feel nice. "Good morning to you too. Not much - just talking with my computer about, uh, you know… like, uh, stuff. I guess? Nothing in particular. Stuff and… stuff. All different varieties of… things. You know how it is."

Candace raised her eyebrows in confusion.

He reached up and scratched behind his ear. Every part of him wanted so badly to just tell her what was going on - how he felt. Just right here, right now. They were alone in the backyard - no one else would hear, no one else would see. Would she really take it  _that_  badly? He'd have to come clean someday, if he ever wanted to get… well, get anywhere farther along than he was now. And he fully intended to make that 'someday' come sooner rather than later.

But Ferb had said that merely springing it out would be a bad idea and, deep down, he knew his brother was right.

"Well, that's nice," she answered slowly. "I see the Force's already gotten ahold of it. I wonder - oh, wait -" She turned to look over her shoulder into the house, and Phineas could see their mother standing in the living room, watching them. So that was how the Force had been triggered. They waved at her, and Linda waved back, motioning for them both to come back inside. "Mom wants you to come on inside anyway. It's breakfast time and we've all been waiting on you." Candace grinned. "I'm starving and don't intend to wait much longer, either."

Oh, was it breakfast time already? He blinked and looked up at the sky, and around at the yard. Yes, it certainly was much brighter. The sun was on the horizon, and the temperature had risen drastically. His stomach rumbled at the thought of breakfast.

"I'm coming," he returned, waving away the last remnants of sand hanging in the air and heading after her. Even from out here, he could smell the strong, sweet odor of syrup and pancakes. Oh, that's right! This was a weekend - so their dad would be home all day. Hence the big breakfast. With summer vacation going on, you sometimes lost track of these things.

Maybe he should take his own advice anyway - to not overthink things. And just plunge in? If it worked, it would work spectacularly. The only problem being… there was also a chance of a similarly spectacular failure. And considering his own gut feelings, that was a chance he wasn't really keen on taking.

_Turn to someone with actual sentience and emotions for advice? But if even Ferb doesn't know for sure what the best course of action would be, who can I go to? And who can I go to_ especially _since I'm not supposed to tell anyone? If I can't ask Mom and Dad, and I can't ask Candace, and Ferb can't help…_

Suddenly, real inspiration struck, like the green beam from the sky.

_I'll bet_ Isabella _would know what to do. She_ must _know_ something _about romance - after all, she showed me all the patches she got for seeing cute boys. And all her other ones too - and she does talk about it a lot. Actually, I'll bet she knows a ton - and she's_ got _to know more than I do, which, admittedly, isn't a very high bar._

But Ferb had explicitly recommended against telling  _anyone_ , and that would include her as well.

_Well,_  he thought slowly,  _If I was to, like, hold back some details and be vague, I might still be able to get some help without letting her realize about_ what  _exactly. I could - could pose it as a hypothetical question or something. And, uh, change mine and Candace's names. Just generally be discreet. I wouldn't be straight-up_ lying _, really, just, uh, withholding identifying details._

Despite the justification, he felt uncomfortable with the plan. But considering the working plan  _now_  was to entirely exclude Isabella from what was going on,  _any_  detail he gave would still be more than what she was going to get otherwise. If you looked at it like that, it wasn't so bad, was it?

In all honesty, it would probably be difficult to do. And he found it hard to believe that Isabella - or any of his friends for that matter - would have such a problem with his feelings in the first place. They generally didn't mind strange things - such as being doused with concentrated ant pheromones or stuff of the sort. But Ferb was probably right. He usually was - and Phineas knew well enough to defer to his brother on subjects such as these.

So, obscuring some of the truth, then? It still left a somewhat bitter taste in his mouth, but it would have to be done.

After all, this  _was_  a subject about which he  _had_ to get an answer - and the sooner, the better. And who was more suited to give him advice about such a potentially messy subject than one of his best friends, who had spent almost as much time at their house as she did at her own?

Phineas grinned broadly as he entered the kitchen, and saw the rest of the family waiting patiently for him to sit down.

Today could possibly be the best day ever, he thought. There was certainly a chance of it anyway. He could hardly wait for the meal to be over so Isabella could come over. No, on second thought, it might be better if he just called her. That way he could help make sure that no one heard their conversation but her.

Not that he intended to divulge any information that might make such precautions necessary - but it was better to be safe than sorry.

He still wasn't sure what he'd say either way. But that part would come soon enough. The supercomputer had said if he wanted help on this subject, he'd have to go to some _body_ , and Ferb had already said that he wasn't sure what would be the best move. And after Ferb, Isabella would definitely be the best choice. After whom would be Baljeet… although somehow Phineas felt the Indian boy would most likely be of no help. And Buford?

Even  _he_  was hesitant on that regard. The bully  _was_  a bit like an onion, although that didn't necessarily have anything to do with layers.

So Isabella it was. She was almost the objective choice, really. The more he thought about it, he realized she must know more about romance than he'd at first assumed. How many times in the past week alone had she reminded him of her various patches relating to the subject? Quite a few, in fact.

That was knowledge was comforting. And considering the sheer size of the Fireside Girls' handbook, the chances that she would at least have an idea of what would be appropriate was quite good, actually.

He caught a glance at his brother across the table, and his seeping happiness and contentment momentarily ground to a halt. Ferb seemed a bit… nervous about something. That was odd.

If anyone had anything to be nervous about, it was Phineas. But he couldn't be nervous, or at least not a lot. All these new…  _things_  were just too exciting for that. He blinked and studied his brother's face again.

But Ferb must've felt his gaze, because his face almost instantly smoothed and the traces of worry were gone - to the extent that Phineas wondered if he'd actually seen it in the first place. Ah well. If the worry was so fleeting that it could be dismissed that easily, it was probably better to let it be dismissed. No need to keep dragging things like that out into the open, whatever the 'things like that' happened to be.

Besides, how could he worry about anything? Today had been the first day that he'd woken up knowing full well that he was in love. It was just up to him to figure out a way to successfully make his feelings palatable to his sister, then, well, the future held limitless possibilities. The idea made him giddy just thinking about it.

And the first step to that future would be seeing if Isabella could shed anymore light on the subject.

Breakfast passed by quickly with such thoughts, and soon enough was ended. After helping clean up the kitchen, Phineas knew that there would only be thirty minutes to an hour before their friends began showing up and the daily project was scheduled to begin.

He headed back up to his and Ferb's bedroom, intending to call Isabella, when he was interrupted by a footstep at the door. It was Candace, again.

"Hey, Phineas," she greeted, leaning against wall just inside the door. "So, um…"

He reached out and patted the space next to him on his bed. Wait, was that too much? It wasn't, right? He would've done the same for pretty much anyone, after all.

Well, it seemed Candace didn't notice either way, or mind if she did. She left the wall and sat down on the bed. He reached over to the desk and picked up his phone, passing it mindlessly back and forth between his hands.

"So, have you got any idea of what you're planning to do today?" she asked.

"Whatever you want," Phineas replied. "I don't mind. The Googolplex yesterday was fun. You have any other places you like to go?"

"No," she clarified, "I didn't mean like that. I meant, like, in the backyard. You have any plans already laid out for today?" She shrugged slightly and grinned. "I know you don't usually, but I figured I'd ask, considering I  _was_  planning to come out there today."

"Wait, what?" he echoed. "Really? You - you think - you're okay with that?"

This was  _amazing!_  It was wonderful! It had been so long since they'd gotten to do a project with all their friends. It was going to be so good. This really could be best day ever - if he could crack this problem with explaining his feelings to Candace, then it would definitely have that title on lock.

However, even despite his overwhelming happiness for her, there was a teeny, tiny piece of his mind that almost wished the day when she felt up to the old schedule hadn't come already. It  _did_  mean that he no longer had the perfect excuse to spend so much time with her - and to go out places, like their recent trip to California. Time and things that might otherwise seem odd to people, but could be easily covered under that blanket.

But the small voice was quickly overwritten and banished from his thoughts. She was feeling better, and that was what was most important. He'd have plenty of time to do all those  _other_ things later, after he told her how he felt. And it would be even better then, he was sure.

And this  _was_  great, really, and it also meant that he'd finally be able to get back to building in the company of the rest of his friends, which he had missed a bit. Quite a lot actually, though it hadn't bothered him as much at the time.

"Please," Candace scoffed lightheartedly. "I'll be fine. It's about time, I think. You've done a bang-up job in helping me out, and it… well, it means alot to me. So I thought it only fair that I let you know first." She paused and her voice became quieter for a moment. "It still hurts to think about, you know? But I know you miss the daily projects, and if I'm being honest, I do too. So we'll see, hm? I've gotta start somewhere." She shuddered for a moment, her eyes glassing over.

Phineas nervously shifted in his place on the bed. Should he do something? That all-too-familiar feeling in his stomach was back, curling its strangely warm and comfortable unsettledness inside him. He became aware of a distinct urge to scoot close and put his arm around her. This was the perfect chance, right? He wouldn't have hesitated in the past, before last evening, but...

Candace took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, and the opportunity vanished. Shoot.

"I'm alright, I'm alright," she said, sounding more like normal. "Ugh, my gosh. If I start acting like that again today, will just you just, like, smack me or something? I have got to get  _over_ this."

"It's okay," he reassured. "You'll be alright - if you're sure you're up to this?"

"Oh, come on," she replied, rolling her eyes and smiling again. "Lighten up a bit. I'll be  _fine_. Besides, it'll be fun."

He held up his hands and laughed. "Fair enough, if you say so. And yes, yes it will be."

Candace stood up and stretched. "Well, I'd better go and get changed then. I will see you in the backyard." She left the bedroom and a moment later, he heard the other upstairs bedroom door click shut.

He lay back on the bed exhaled loudly. Well, if there had been any miniscule doubt in his mind before… it was certainly gone now. This  _had_  to be what being in love felt like. It was such an… interesting feeling. And one that he felt he couldn't live without anymore. Was this how Baljeet felt about Mishti, how his parents felt about each other?

Abruptly sitting back up, he remembered the entire reason he'd come up here in the first place. Right!

He picked phone up and punched in the number.

While waiting for the call to go through, he stood up and walked to the bedroom window, overlooking the backyard. Ferb was already out there, strangely, and even more strangely, was pacing in a tight circle around the tree, once again appearing to be nervous or worried about something.

Phineas'd have to ask his brother what exactly was bothering him after he finished here. This wouldn't take too long, at least, he assumed it wouldn't.

With a small  _click_ , the call connected.

"Hey, Phineas!" Isabella's voice came over the speaker. "Whatcha doin'?"

Her voice was really tinny-sounding, as if she was speaking really high-pitched or her phone's microphone was peaking from background noise. Phineas lowered the volume of his own phone's speaker before answering.

"Hey, Isabella," he replied. "Not much right now. Oh yeah! Candace and I'll be back in the yard with all of you guys today. Your time of reprieve from me is over, I'm afraid."

"Really?" she answered. "That's  _amazing_! Oh, I can't wait! This is going to be great!"

Phineas grinned. "Well, it's nice to hear that we are appreciated. I'll be sure to let Candace know that she was missed."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. For sure, I guess."

"So, anyway," Phineas said, clearing his throat. "Onto the main reason I called you today. I have a , uh, a question that I'd like to see if you can answer."

"Ooookay?" came the reply. "Anything for you. Hit me and I'll see what I can do."

He took a quick breath. This was going to be the tricky part - but he could manage.

"Let's assume there was a girl, somewhere, that I was, uh, that I fell in love with."

Alright, that was safe enough, surely? It didn't name any names, and he'd not even implied that it had actually happened. There was no way anyone could infer he was talking about Candace, right?

He heard a loud, discordant banging from the other end of the line, and a muffled yelp, along with what sounded like a screech or squeal of some kind. What on earth was going on?

"S - sorry," Isabella said from the other end after a moment, her voice somewhat unsteady. "I, uh, I dropped my phone. Uh - I stubbed my toe. Yeah. Ow. Stupid dresser."

"Oh, that's alright," Phineas replied, grimacing. "Sorry about that. I'm sure it hurt."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," she answered. "So, anyway - what were you saying before? About, you know, the girl?"

"Right," he continued. "So. Um. The question… on this puzzle book, yeah, says, uh, it says 'How do you think would be appropriate to tell this girl about your feelings?' Right, but here's the thing… it's also got this caveat on it: 'You're really,  _really_  close, uh, friends with her. So, uh, so close that you might say you were... like family.'"

Okay, that was good enough, right? Not too much information, but still enough that she could make an educated guess on the situation. And there was still no way anyone could link it back to his feelings about his sister.

"Really?!" Isabella's voice came. Phineas winced. Her microphone was peaking again for some reason. She stopped and cleared her throat, which seemed to help a bit. "I mean, yeah. Seems interesting enough."

"So…" he trailed off. "You got any ideas?"

"Well," she started, "I think you - you know, if the question was about you. I'm not saying 'you' because I'm saying it  _is_  you, obviously, you know, like I'd say 'he' just as quickly, of course, or even 'she', I guess, or even 'it' assuming it's actually a sentient robot or some kind of alien life, but you know how that works."

He frowned, a bit confused by the flustered-sounding speech. Maybe that stubbed toe had hurt worse than she'd at first implied.

"Anyway," Isabella said, clearing her throat again, " _I_  think you should just, you know, walk up and tell me - her, her, her, excuse me - how you feel. It's always best to be direct… you know, especially if …  _she_  has been waiting for  _years_  to hear you say you've  _finally_  fallen in love with her."

Phineas was a bit taken aback by her words. Really? That had been his first impulse too. Ferb had recommended against it, but it still seemed like the best option to him. And if Isabella said so too… maybe he should bring this up with Ferb again. He really would prefer this route of going about things. Of course, he'd not  _quite_  said that exactly how closely related he was to Candace, but could that really have such a big effect on things?

"Okay, thanks," he replied. "I was - I was thinking it would be weird, you know, to do that, because, uh, isn't it weird to be in love with someone you're so close to? That's what I hear. Like, you know, absolute best friends for years and years and years… to the point where even 'absolute best friends' isn't enough to accurately portray the closeness?"

Okay, that was about as far as he was willing to stretch it. Any further and he might accidentally let something identifying slip.

"No!" Isabella exclaimed with shocking intensity. She sounded like she was getting  _way_  worked up over this for some reason. "I don't - it doesn't matter! Not in the slightest! It won't change anything!" She paused and for a moment, he could hear only static from the other end of the line. When she came back on, her voice was much calmer and more collected. "I think the best answer to your question is 'yes'. Yes, you should. Should simply go straight across the street to this 'girl' and simply flat-out tell her. You can trust me on this one, Phineas. I've got three  _Unrequited Crush_  patches that make me an expert on this subject."

"Alright," he answered, though he was a bit unsure what bearing the  _Unrequited Crush_  patches had the conversation. Maybe she was implying that if he  _didn't_  simply speak up to Candace, he'd be doomed to never speak and always be unrequited? Or something of that nature. Well, that idea was… vaguely disquieting. "Well, you've been a big help. Thanks again, and I'll see you in a little bit."

"Wait, what?" Isabella echoed through the phone. "Oh… yeah. I guess."

She seemed weirdly… what was a good word for it? Her voice had gone really chill and monotone, almost matching that of the morning's now-defunct supercomputer. Could it be to do with her stubbed toe? Perhaps.

Nevertheless, he ended the call and sat the phone back down on the desk. It was time to head down into the backyard - and stay there all afternoon, something he'd badly missed doing. And even better, Candace would be there too. The dream team would be reunited at long last.

_I hope Candace really_ is _ready for this_. He thought.  _I mean, I guess there's no reason why she wouldn't be, but things happen._

Well, there was no real benefit to be found in worrying about it. If Candace had really and truly set her mind on it, there'd be no dissuading her anyway. And he had a blueprint to plan out. Forget about the styrofoam thing from last night - a much, much better idea had since popped into his head.

Phineas quickly pulled on his socks and shoes and headed out of the bedroom, down the stairs, through the living room, and finally out into the backyard.

Ferb was no longer pacing, instead, he had sat down in the usual place underneath the shade of the backyard tree. Candace hadn't come out yet, so he'd have at least few seconds to talk to his brother about this.

"Hey, Ferb!" he greeted. "Something wrong? I saw you pacing out here when I was on the phone."

Ferb shrugged slightly, gesturing off towards the general proximity of the house directly across the street.

"What's wrong?" Phineas asked, curious. "I just talked to Isabella on the phone this morning and didn't notice anything."

Ferb cocked one eyebrow and turned to face Phineas with the question written clearly all over his face.

"Oh, not much," he replied. "I told her Candace's planning on staying out here with us today - which means I can too - did I already tell you that?" Ferb shook his head. "Oh, yeah! Isn't it great? It's going to be. Speaking of which, I had a great idea. You wanna hear it?"

Ferb nodded, and that was all the assent that he needed.

"Alright, cool! Then tell me what you think of  _this_ : oceanography!" Phineas paused, waiting for some kind of reaction. When none was immediately forthcoming, he proceeded to explain the idea further. "So, you know the deepest part of the ocean is the Challenger Deep, right? It's estimated to be 36,070 feet deep, but no one's ever actually set foot on the bottom yet." He paused and smiled broadly at his brother. "No one, that is, until today! Does that sound cool or what? We can make a really big boat, and a submarine… and it'll just be awesome."

Thankfully, it appeared Ferb didn't realize exactly where he'd gotten this idea. It was kind of stupid really, but he'd remembered how well sinking that cruise ship had worked to bring Baljeet and Mishti together. Now imagine that with a gigantic oceanographic vessel? It probably wouldn't work, honestly. But that didn't matter - he wanted to try anyway.

After they explored the bottom of the ocean though, because in coming up with the plan, he'd realized that it did actually sound cool. So, first bottom of the ocean, then maybe try to make romance? He wasn't entirely committed to the idea - it did seem a bit underhanded. But you never knew. And the bottom of the ocean would be cool either way, so even if he ultimately decided against it, the day still wouldn't be a loss.

"What'll be awesome?" Candace asked, pulling open the sliding glass door and stepping outside. "I'm ready to hear about it."

Phineas grinned broadly. This was just like how it used to be - and it was just as great as he'd remembered. "Hey, Candace! Come on - we're talking about being the first people to set foot on the bottom of the ocean's deepest point."

"Sounds cool enough," she replied. "Alright, count me in."

Never before had he thought three words could make him so happy. But they did! The day had barely even begun, and it was already coming together flawlessly. Now if only he could figure out how to handle his love for his sister… should he take Isabella's advice after all?

_One thing at a time, Phineas_. He warned himself.  _Don't get ahead of yourself. Just enjoy this part of the day right now for what it is: the first time in two weeks with us all being back together out here again._

"Candace, Ferb," he announced, almost breathless with excitement. "I know what we're going to do today!"

"Say, you alright, Ferb?" Candace asked. "You don't seem your usual self this morning. Something going on?"

Oh, yeah, there was that too - and if even Candace had seen it, it must be there. What  _was_  bothering Ferb? It'd had something to do with Isabella, hadn't it?

"It's nothing," Ferb answered aloud. "I was expecting to be forced to have an awkward conversation this morning. But she seems to be late for some reason." He shrugged. "Perhaps overnight she came to the realization that it wasn't as important as she first thought."

Candace glanced over at Phineas, and he looked back, still not quite sure what his brother was talking about. It was evident enough by the puzzled look in her eyes that she didn't know either.

Isabella  _was_  late, true, but that wasn't a horrible tragedy - she probably had some chores or something she had to do at home. And what was this about an awkward conversation?

"Don't worry about it." Ferb said again. "Say, where's Perry?"

The familiar words were like a bolt of electricity, filling him with with energy. Later on he could worry about getting Candace to return his feelings for her, about whatever Ferb was referring to, and about Isabella's lateness. For now, it was time to get things into gear - traveling where no man or woman or group of teenagers had traveled before: the very deepest depths of the bottom of the ocean, where crushing pressure and ice-cold water and pitch blackness were permanent fixtures of the submerged landscape.

And it was going to be awesome.

* * *

_You're overreacting, Isabella_ , she thought, staring down at the phone in her hand.

But was she really?

_Yes, of course you are. This is_ Phineas _. If he says it's a hypothetical, then it's pretty much guaranteed to be one. He's not that kind of person._

That was true, she knew very well. But she couldn't simply sit back and let all this slide. It was too much! Did it fly into the face of the person she'd known her crush to be for almost nine years or longer? Well, yeah, sort of. Well, more than just sort of.

But after what had happened yesterday? And that protracted conversation with Ferb where he'd all but admitted that something was going? Something that 'affected Phineas very personally'?

She never would have thought this to be possible. After all those years of desperately trying in every way under the sun to make the oblivious redhead notice her affections, he had finally noticed…  _somebody else_?

Or had he? It was ludicrous. This was  _Phineas Flynn_ , after all. He'd never notice anybody - anybody but her, of course.

The phone call was the final straw. Phineas himself had called and all but admitted to loving her… only to say 'you've been a lot of help' and 'I'll see you in a bit'. But he  _had_  to have been talking about her right? Who else could there be?

And who else could there be who was also an 'absolutely best friend'? No one, that's who. It had to be her he'd been referring to… simply  _had_  to be.

But then, for goodness' sake,  _why_  had he called  _her_  for advice? Phineas was oblivious, definitely. But that seemed a level beyond what even he was capable of. And when combined the events of the past few days, it made for an unsettling pattern. A pattern that she recognized all too well from the way  _she_  felt. The way  _she_  acted.

Which could only mean one horrible, horrible thing.

She was almost sure, then, that he had started falling for someone else. But  _who_? And  _why_? For crying out loud,  _WHY_? After she'd tried for so many years?

_No!_  she thought.  _I can't just give up without some sort of fight. I refuse!_

But how could she confront someone when she didn't even know  _who_  that someone was? Phineas had said 'good friend', but… well, he would have probably dished out that title to just about anyone.

Once again, Isabella's eyes fell to the phone in her hand.

Still, this was an overreaction. It wasn't worth  _this_ , was it? Surely Ferb would just give her an answer. He'd said he would, after all.

Even so, she had a feeling that no matter what answer her crush's brother gave, it would still fail to satisfy her. She'd get Ferb's answer later. First, she was heading directly to the primary information source.

_Is it worth it?_  she thought grimly.  _Yes, yes it is_.

Before she could second-guess herself again, she pressed the 'Dial' button, and raised the phone to her ear. It rang once… twice… thrice…  _click_.

"Hello?" a nasally voice said from the other end of the line. "Isabella? Why are  _you_  calling  _me_?"

Her eyes fell on the clock on her bedside table. It was nine forty-four AM.

"Hello, Irving," she replied at last. "I - uh, I have a favor to ask you."


	14. Ocean Liner

"Hey, Irving," Isabella said slowly. "I, uh, I have a favor to ask you." She waited with bated breath for the response.

"You have a favor to ask  _me_?" Irving echoed. "Well… I suppose I might be able to help. What sort of thing do you need, anyway?"

She let out the breath, long and loud. So he was willing to help. That was a huge relief in and of itself. Irving was a little… strange at times. No, scratch that. He was strange all the time. But that didn't mean he couldn't also be helpful - especially in a situation such as this. One where it was exceedingly likely that even the Fireside Girls themselves would turn down her requests.

"Well," she started at last. "Phineas is - he's been acting weird for the past week or so. Like,  _really_  weird. It - it's like he's got a - a  _crush_  or something. And it's not - it's not on me. And I just can't stand for that! It's  _wrong_.  _I_  love him, and he loves me, and he just needs to get his head out of the clouds and  _realize_ -" she cut herself off mid-sentence, suddenly becoming aware that ranting on in such a way might adversely affect Irving's willingness to help her.

"So… what exactly do you expect me to do about that?" he asked slowly.

"I - I don't know," she faltered, her cheeks suddenly flushing with embarrassment, even no one could see her in her bedroom. "I thought - you know, you could find out somehow - find out if, who, what's going on with him?"

"You want me to intrude onto the Flynn-Fletcher's privacy - to eavesdrop on Phineas' private conversations - all because you think he's been acting weird? Do you  _realize_  what you're asking me? It violates at least two state and five federal laws regarding personal privacy. It would require an insanely convoluted and absurdly expensive video and audio surveillance setup to even have a chance at success, and not only that, but said system would have to  _have already been in place_  for the 'past week' for it to be of any use at all."

"I - I - I'm sorry," she stammered. "This - this was a bad idea. I - I didn't-"

"When can you be over?"

"Wait, what?"

"I said, 'When can you be over?'," he repeated, enunciating each syllable. "Five minutes? Ten? Fifteen?"

"I - uh - I," Isabella spluttered uselessly. "Uh, I… Pah! Give me ten minutes."

"I'll see you then," he replied. "Just be sure to hurry. I've got a packed schedule today."

"Yeah, sure. Give me ten minutes. Bye."

And with that, she clicked her phone shut, cutting off the call.

_Okay, so maybe this isn't_ entirely  _straight-and-narrow sort of stuff,_  she thought.  _But the real fact of the matter is that this is the_ only _way I'm going to get a direct, clear answer with every detail before I die of old age._

That was true. Probably. But it was still worth it. Right?

Well, it was too late to back out now. Feeling the tiniest bit of guilt at her actions, she nonetheless stubbornly pulled on her shoes and headed out. But instead of the short jaunt across the street to the yellow-painted house, Isabella instead turned left at the street intersection and struck out down Maple Drive, eventually leaving Phineas' house behind.

Some project or another was already going on, or at least getting started - as evidenced by the procession of tractor trailers stopping at the Flynn-Fletcher house. What were they doing this time? Had they even missed her? Had  _Phineas_  missed her?

_No time for that now_. She thought obstinately, continuing away from the house.  _First, I find out what's going on. Then, I deal with it. Then everything can proceed that way it's_ supposed  _to_.

Such thoughts accompanied her the entirety of the short walk to the Du Bois' house. Swallowing, she stepped across the porch and rang the doorbell.

There was a short pause during which nothing except the late morning breeze could be heard. Then, the locks on the door clicked and ratcheted, and the door swung inwards.

"Hello, Isabella," Irving acknowledged from just inside. "You're here."

"H - hi," she responded, giving a weak wave. This still wasn't exactly a comfortable situation for her, but she'd just have to get over that. "Yes, yes I am."

"Well, come on." he said, stepping farther inside and motioning for her to follow. "Albert's not gonna be back from boarding school for another three months, so we won't have to worry about being disturbed."

"Okay…" She followed behind him through the house. The small entry hallway and living room seemed normal enough. Maybe she'd just been jumping to conclusions about him all this time? He couldn't be  _that_  obsessed, could he? After all, Phineas' sister had been pretty obsessive over  _her_  now ex boyfriend, and that had never bothered Isabella too terribly much.

Then Irving opened his bedroom door, and all those thoughts were instantly forgotten.

"You've never been in here before," Irving remarked, seeing her eyes go wide and mouth hang open in shock. "This is my life's work, my pride and joy. The 'inner sanctum', as it were. Like the one from _Space Adventure_   _XVII_? No? Never mind." He stepped over to his bed and picked up something off it. "And  _this_  - this is the UPAFDS. You may remember her from an incident a long time ago. With a crocodile? Either way - I've vastly improved on her during the years since then. This is the UPAFDS version twelve point five. Quite impressive, really."

"Uh huh," she murmured, still staring slack-jawed at the room. It was… it put Candace's shrine to Jeremy Johnson to  _absolute_  shame. And it was all about Phineas and Ferb. Some of the many pictures plastered onto every square inch of the wall were ones she recognized, and some weren't.

There were innocuous ones like the one labelled, ' _The time we went to the beach._ '

There were slightly stranger ones like the one labelled, ' _The time they ate that soup._ '

And there were a few that were just straight-up disturbing. Their labels… well, they were ones she'd rather not read.

Isabella swallowed again. This _had_  been her idea - hopefully she wouldn't come to regret it in the near future.

"So," Irving said, interrupting her staring. "What do you need, exactly?"

She blinked and shook her head a few time, trying to clear her thoughts. "Oh. Yeah. I, uh, wanted to you to see if you could figure out why Phineas's been acting so weird recently. You - you can do that, right?"

"I can certainly make an attempt," he answered, walking across the room to his desk. He sat down and woke up his computer. For a moment, the screen flickered with static. "Just give me a second to connect with the right drone."

She blinked again. Drone? It was probably better not to question it - at least not until she was safely out of this house.

Irving's computer's screen flashed brightly for a second, before turning into a surprisingly sharp video image… of the Flynn-Fletcher backyard? How deep did this thing go? Maybe it was best she didn't try to find out.

"Alright," he said, turning up the volume on the computer's speakers. "So, let's see - right now everything looks normal to me. There's Phineas, there's Ferb, there's Candace. They're building - well, it looks like a boat or something."

"Can you, like, rewind or something?" she asked. "I know  _something's_  going on. He's - I can just tell."

"Gimme a second," he said, beginning to type rapidly on the keyboard. The video flickered, and began playing backwards.

Isabella watched the screen as Phineas and Ferb and Candace moved rapidly in reverse, pulling the project apart, then loading the supplies onto trucks, then walking backwards into the house. The sun sank behind the eastern horizon, and the sky darkened. Then, right as the timestamp on the video was reading around seven thirty in the morning, Phineas and Candace emerged from the house again. They talked briefly, then Candace disappeared back into the house.

A cloud of dust drifted together in front of Phineas, then a bright beam of light flashed up from it, leaving a… wait, was that the supercomputer from ages ago? It was! Why on earth had he rebuilt that?

"Stop it here!" she exclaimed. This  _had_  to have something to do with this whole mess. Irving complied, and the video lurched into normal playback mode.

"So what you're saying is that it's  _impossible_?" Phineas' voice drifted through the computer's speaker. "Actually, you know what? I can work with that."

"Wait, no - rewind it more," Isabella said. "What's impossible? I've got to know."

"Give me a second," Irving replied. He punched a few keys, and the videotape lurched backwards a half hour.

"You can ask me anything, and I will attempt to provide you with an answer," the supercomputer's chillingly smooth monotone said. A small shudder ran up Isabella's spine at the voice, for reasons she knew not. Her eyes fell on the digital clock on Irving's desk. It was ten-seventeen AM.

"Alright, computer. So, here's my question, or rather, my puzzle. Well, it's sort of like a puzzle, like - well, you'll see." That was Phineas. She leaned in closer to the computer monitor, subconsciously holding her breath as she waited for him to continue.

"So, I was recently… informed, I guess, that I've fallen in love. And - it  _is_  true."

She felt all her breath instantly leave her body in one fell swoop. Could - could it be? At so very long last? She gripped the back of Irving's desk chair, steadying herself. Irving muttered something under his breath and began typing rapidly into his keyboard. A small window flashed up on the bottom of the screen, obscuring part of the video. But she didn't care - waiting in suspense for the boy _in_  the video to continue speaking.

"Well, thanks - but here's the thing," Phineas resumed at last. "I've fallen in love with  _Candace_ , who as you know - since you do know everything - is my  _sister_. Now, I don't-"

" _WHAT_!?"

Isabella stumbled backwards, physically recoiling away from the computer. Her foot caught on a box of something and she landed in a heap on the floor, unable to move. This - no, this wasn't happening. It wasn't possible.

"Say what?" Irving echoed, though not nearly as loud, or with such intensity. "That's… not what I would have expected. Huh."

"Wh-wh-wh-" she spluttered.

He wheeled his desk chair over to a large filing cabinet standing in the corner of the room and pulled open one of the drawers. "Hmm… let's see. D's - E's - F's - ah ha! Flynn, Candace." He pulled a manila folder from the drawer and dumped its contents onto the desk. "Well, what do you know? I've got more stuff for it than I'd thought."

She watched, stunned, from the floor as he continued mumbling under his breath and sliding the contents of the folder back and forth.

How could he - what - when -  _what had just happened_?!

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Irving exclaimed from the desk. "I've been, you know, _observing_  Phineas and Ferb for so long - I always wondered who he was going to first profess an interest in. My personal bet - well, I was wrong - but I didn't expect  _this_! It's like, you think one thing might be boring, but then  _bam!_  Plot twist! Think of it - of the drama! The suspense! The intrigue! Oh, this is going to be juicy, I can already tell."

She reached up and grabbed the side of his bed, struggling to her feet. Her hands felt numb - she hardly knew what to think anymore. After all - all those years… and it had come to  _this_? Phineas Flynn - the love of her life - the object of her devotion - the central focus of all her dreams and fantasies - had fallen for someone  _else_? And not just anyone else, no, that would have been too easy. It couldn't have just a random girl from school or even one of the Fireside Girls. No.

Phineas - the only person she had ever loved, who was practically what she lived for - had decided that it was  _okay_  to fall in  _love_  with his own  _sister_.

Just the sheer _thought_ of it brought a fresh wave of revulsion crashing through her veins.

_No - no! This can't be. There's got to someway - something. No._  She desperately tried to find something in the room to capture her attention, to get it off this awful, awful subject. But there was nowhere to look - and nothing to look at. The pictures plastered all over the walls prevented such an escape.

"These pictures make sense now, I guess," Irving mumbled. "I'll have to update the UPAFDS again. Wow, this is cool. Biggest. Plot. Twist. Ever."

She felt a wave of irrational anger boil up inside at her companion's seemingly relaxed attitude.

"What is  _wrong_  with you?!" she almost yelled. "How - how can you just - what are you even doing?"

He glanced back up at her. "Come check it out," he invited, waving her over. "So, like any  _devoted fan_  would, I had all my own pet theories about who Phineas would eventually end up with. But I'm not just some 'devoted fan'. I'm their  _biggest_  fan. And so, I developed  _all_  the theories!" He stopped and gestured back at the filing cabinets.

"Just look in there. I've spent tons of time going through my footage, looking for any evidence that could support  _any_  potential relationship - from Holly to Stacy Hirano to Buford van Stomm to that ball pit kid, Balthazar Horowitz."

He took a deep breath and held up a picture. "Just about anyone you could name. It's enthralling, really. Like, look at this! It's a picture from some Father's Day a few years ago. It's been in Candace's folder for years now, for exactly such a reason as this."

Isabella glanced down at the picture, and it sent cold chills up and down her spine.

"How - how'd you even  _get_  that picture?" she asked slowly, opting for something safe to say, even if that in itself wasn't really something she wanted to know.

He shrugged. "Camera Twelve picked it up. But that's not the point - the point is, just think of how  _exciting_  this is going to be. There'll be suspense of the highest level. Can he pull it off? I don't know! But I'll get to watch it all from right here, live, in my monitoring station."

"But - but - no!" she exclaimed. "It's - no! This is  _wrong_! It's  _disgusting_! And it's supposed to be - it's supposed to be me!"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," Irving replied. "Your reaction? That's what  _everyone_  will have! Of  _course_  it's disgusting. And that's why it'll be so exciting to watch. Will he succeed? Fail? I don't know and I almost don't care - it's not about  _what_  he does, it's about  _how_  he does it. The tension will be palpable. I just love it."

Isabella reached up and pressed hard on her temples. Of course Irving and his weirdness would never understand what she was going through. Did he not  _realize_  what had just happened? Did he just not care?

"Oh, I've about had it with you!" she exclaimed. " _I'm_  supposed to be the one he confesses to loving. I'll bet if you had a folder for  _me_ , it'd be the fattest one in there. I'm just gonna march right over there and… and…" her confrontational tone faded slightly as she weighed her options.

What exactly was she planning to 'march right over there and do'? No matter what she did, it would basically broadcast to the whole world that she'd stooped to Irving's level of disturbing stalking on the boy she loved - and still did, even despite this horrid revelation. But it seemed now like the future would be drastically different than she'd imagined. She had to do something to fix this. But what?

"I  _do_  have a folder for you," Irving added. "It's in the second drawer, under 'G' for, you know, 'Garcia-Shapiro'. It's got some stuff in it, I think."

"Some -  _some_  stuff?" Isabella was stunned again. "I've been in love with that boy for almost as long as I've been able to walk across the street to his house! There'd better be more than  _some_   _stuff_."

Irving shrugged. "That's not the kind of stuff that gets in the folders," he replied. "What gets in is stuff that  _Phineas_  does that could imply that  _he_ 's interested in a relationship. Not the other way around. I've got a cabinet for Ferb too, but that one's a lot emptier. Ferb doesn't do much that would help this process, except with that one girl, whatsherface, the mayor's niece."

She blinked rapidly, hardly able to comprehend all that was going on. First to find out that her practically lifelong crush has feelings for someone else - coincidentally, his  _sister_  - and then Irving goes and implies that Phineas doesn't usually act in a way that would give reason to infer he loved her? Was he  _blind_?

It just wasn't fair - not at all. She had to go somewhere to clear her head - anywhere but here, with the pictures of Phineas and Ferb plastered on every surface. And  _definitely_  not the yellow house at the end of Maple Drive where she spent so much of her time. She had to get  _out_  - be gone - talk a walk to clear her head, to help the thoughts flow freely. To help her come up with  _some_  plan, some idea of how to fix this.

Irving looked up from his desk as she turned on her heel and stalked silently from the house. His pictures were great, but a good few of them were getting up in age.

"Well, UPAFDS," he said to the device laying on his bed. "It's just me and you again, old girl. I think it's time we went out into the field and got some new material for this exciting new twist. Whattaya say?"

* * *

"...and it'll just be awesome!" Phineas was saying as Candace pulled open the sliding glass door and stepped outside.

_And so it begins,_  she thought, smiling to herself. But it was useless to try to say she hadn't missed it.

"What'll be awesome?" she asked aloud. "I'm ready to hear about it."

There really was no telling what to expect from a question like that. But the suspense was all part of the fun, she guessed.

"Hey, Candace!" he exclaimed, grinning broadly. "Come on! We're talking about being the first people to set foot on the ocean's deepest point."

_Wow, s_ he thought.  _He seems happy about something._

There was his usual happiness and mood, of course, but there was something else too. It made her feel a slight pin prick of guilt - had he missed the big daily projects  _that_  much? Well, she hadn't asked him to stay, although if she was being honest, his presence had been oddly soothing. He struggled so much and so visibly with things deeply tied up in emotion, but still tried so hard. It was endearing to watch, really.

"Sounds cool enough," she replied. "Alright. Count me in."

It did sound cool, and she was ready to back into the swing of things. She couldn't just sit around and let herself rot for the rest of her life. It was  _high_  time that she just continue on with life - life after… after… after…

She blinked rapidly and looked around, hunting desperately for some way to get her mind elsewhere. She became vaguely aware of Phineas announcing he knew what they were going to do today from right next to her. Like,  _right_  next to her. There had to be something - ah ha! Ferb - he seemed a bit… different.

Okay, it  _was_ admittedly the number one most flimsy conversation-changer she had ever used in her life, but she still latched onto it like her life depended on it.

"S - say, you alright, Ferb?" she asked. "You don't, uh, seem like your usual self this morning. Something going on?"

Phineas glanced at Ferb, then back over to her, curiosity written on his face.

"It's nothing," Ferb said, aloud too, which surprised even her. "I was expecting to be forced to have an awkward conversation this morning. But she seems to be late for some reason. Perhaps overnight she came to the realization that it wasn't as important as she first thought."

_Now_  Candace was confused. Who was he talking about? Isabella? Or one of the other Fireside Girls? And Ferb was expecting to have any conversation at all - much less an awkward one?

"Don't worry about it." he rejoined. "Say, where's Perry?"

Candace glanced around by sheer force of habit, though she knew well enough that the lazy animal would be long gone.

"And where's everybody else?" she wondered. "Buford and Baljeet and Isabella? Aren't they usually here by now? At least Isabella, since she  _does_  have the shortest walk here?"

"They'll get here," Phineas answered. "Well, Isabella will. She said she'd be over in a bit when I talked to her on the phone." He paused and smiled widely. "But I don't think they'll mind if we start construction without them. It's not like we're starting early or anything. And we can always call and confirm they're not coming if they still haven't showed after we're done."

"Sounds fair enough to me," she agreed. "So, exploring the deepest parts of the ocean, hm? What sort of transportation are we taking out there?"

She could easily see the hover jet, or perhaps a portal of some sort. It'd be the quickest, cleanest, and most efficient way to get to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, at least.

"A boat," he replied, the excitement apparent in his tone. "A big one. Huge, even. And then imagine, like…" his voice trailed off as he stared into the distance.

A boat? Well, she could see it.

"Imagine what?" she asked in amusement.

He opened his mouth, but then stopped and glanced at Ferb. Candace watched in slight confusion as her brothers stared at each other for a moment.

"Just a boat," he said. "With a recessed bay for a submarine to actually get down to the bottom - and we'll have special diving suits to allow us to move freely even despite the tremendous pressure and low temperature down there."

"Alright, sounds like a plan," she said. "So… how're you wanting to divvy up the work?"

Phineas blinked, obviously thinking. "Let's do it in order of importance," he replied at last. "First the boat, then the submarine, then the diving suits." He paused. "Guess I'll call the Superstore now. You guys wanna get everything set up?"

Candace nodded in assent, and set off to the garage to retrieve the tools. By the time she'd gotten them all together and returned to the yard, the trucks full of supplies were already starting to rumble into the yard. The Superstore's seven-minute delivery guarantee really came in handy all the time. Like, pretty much every day.

And with that thought, the morning kicked into high gear. Though no physical blueprint had been drawn yet (they'd worry about  _that_ part later) Phineas was nonetheless able to direct them how to do everything just  _so_ , and it wasn't long before the enormous ocean-going vessel began to take shape in the backyard, dwarfing the house with its huge shadow.

She was somewhat sure that another boat kind of similar to this one had been built before, but she couldn't quite remember when. Then again, it really wasn't such a shocking thing anyway.

But then, right in the middle of the construction of the project, that was when the first odd thing happened. And not 'odd' in the sense most people might use it - but 'odd' in the way when one of the Flynn-Fletcher children used it. Which meant something was  _really_  odd.

All morning she had been expecting a musical montage to start. They usually happened around this time, although, to be fair, not necessarily every day. When they got halfway through the project without one beginning, at first she figured that those was just gonna be one of those days without one. Which was perfectly okay - they could get along just fine without anyhow.

Any number of things could have prevented one from happening - maybe Ferb was too worried about whatever he'd mentioned earlier, or maybe she was still too wrapped up in… you know.

She hoped it wasn't her fault, if so.

And as it turned out - it wasn't. Well, sort of. At least, it didn't appear to be? Phineas had come over to her side of the submarine and was helping fasten the giant propeller blades to the drive shafts. And then, at long last, the music from no visible discernible source finally started up. Quietly at first, but gradually getting louder, as it tended to do.

She was just about join in with the music when she noticed that something was very  _odd_  about it.

_Bow chicka bow wow..._

"Hey - wait a minute!" she shouted to be heard over the music and the noise of the construction equipment. "Isn't this  _Gitchee Gitchee Goo_? Why is  _this_  playing?" It  _was_  strange, right?

"What?" Phineas echoed.

There was a loud record scratching noise, and the music ground to an jarringly cacophonous halt.

Candace flipped the switch on her welding torch and waited until the obnoxiously loud hissing of the flame died down.

"Oh, come on - I know you had to hear that?" She asked, confused.

Phineas suddenly became flushed, as if he was embarrassed about something. "Sorry," he apologized. "I guess I… whoops. Guess I was thinking too hard about... something else."

She frowned, a bit confused. "Thinking about  _what_? To trigger  _Gitchee Gitchee Goo_?" It was a nice enough song, but one that had absolutely no bearing on their current project.  _Whatever_ he'd been thinking about, it must've been awfully important - at least to him - if it was able to override everything and steer the course of the montage like it'd done.

He looked down at the floor, reaching up to scratch behind his ear. "...oh, nothing."

"Well, darn. Maybe I should've just gone with it," she said, a bit annoyed with herself. "Now we probably won't get another one today." She shook her head. "It just caught me off guard.  _Gitchee Gitchee Goo_? It  _is_  weird, right?"

"Yes, yes it is," Phineas agreed, almost too quickly. "Come on - let's finish up here. We're already halfway done anyhow." He paused and looked around.

Candace followed his gaze as it swept across the yard.

"What are you even looking for?" she asked after a second of silently hunting across the backyard with her eyes.

"Just seeing if Isabella's showed up yet," he replied, looking back at her. "I guess if she doesn't by the time we finish, we should just go ahead and start without her." He paused again, and for a moment, seemed unsure of himself. "I could call her now, I guess, but… eh. Not yet. I, uh, don't want to bother her?"

"Sounds fair enough to me," Candace replied. "Come on. Let's get this propeller up where it goes." Whatever his reason for seeming so loath to call the girl across the street frankly just didn't interest her at that point in time.

Phineas smiled at her, positively beaming. Well, he was certainly happy now. And it was infectious. She smiled back, pulling down the faceplate on her welding mask and turning the blowtorch back on. She  _had_  missed this, even if there apparently wasn't going to be a montage today.

She and Phineas and Ferb worked diligently, piece by piece by piece assembling the last little bit of the enormous sea-going vessel. It was probably entirely larger than it needed to be - but that was all part of the fun. Just because something littler would've worked didn't they had to use something littler.

Just as Ferb was putting on the final stroke of paint, the wooden fence gate creaked. Someone else had finally arrived - probably Isabella, if Candace had to guess. The girl would never pass up a chance to flirt with her brother in some ridiculous way.

_Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to dump on her method anyway_ , she realized.  _After all, at least she's still got a plan for the future - a goal of some sort in mind._

Before the thoughts could take a turn into potentially dangerous territory, she was rescued by yet another unexpected happenstance.

Because it wasn't Isabella at the gate at all. Or Buford or Baljeet, for that matter.

It was  _Irving_.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. Now, here was someone she'd not seen for a good long while. What did  _he_  want?

_Probably wants to go scrounging through the bathroom trash bin for used dental floss or something,_  she thought, shuddering. The grossest part was that such things were not entirely beyond what she would expect of him.

"Greetings, Phineas! Ferb! And Candace!" Irving announced in his voice that perpetually sounded as if he needed to blow his nose. "I am here to observe you-" he paused, missing a beat. "-ou're project. And I brought the UPAFDS! Version twelve! point five!"

He lifted the tablet-like device into the air, displaying it for all to see.

"Hey, Irving," Phineas greeted, waving. "That's pretty cool. We've just finished our boat and submarine and high-pressure diving suits, but you can come with us to the Mariana Trench if you want."

"Oh," Irving replied. "I would. Any time, of course! Except today. Instead, I must… use the bathroom? I take it yours is not occupied." He didn't wait for an answer, instead striding directly across the yard and disappearing through the sliding glass door into the house.

"Ferb…" Phineas started. "You'd … you'd better call the Superstore and tell them we'll need three new toothbrushes."

"Yes," Candace agreed. "Even if it _is_ still in there, I'm  _not_  putting that thing back into my mouth after, well, you know."

Phineas shrugged as if in dismissal. "If it's still there, he  _probably_  hasn't touched it. Besides, I needed a new one anyway. He gets more… things for his collection, and we get new toothbrushes. And you know, hairbrushes and stuff. It's a win win?"

Candace frowned and scrunched up her face in disgust. "I'm still getting a new one."

"Fair enough," Phineas replied. "So, I guess it's time to get this boat into the water, then. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Okay, well, if you forgot the weird montage failure and ignored that Irving was no doubt snooping around in their house right now, then this was turning out to be a pretty good day. Getting the boat to the ocean wouldn't be hard, with the help of the grid of hover manifolds they'd installed on its hull - which would let it float, to an extent, directly over solid ground. It was almost like a hovercraft. A giant one, yes, but the general concept was roughly the same.

Phineas stopped for a moment, once again looking up and down the yard. "A little strange that no one else's showed up yet, I guess." He seemed lost in thought, then looked up at her, smiling. "But that's okay. It'll still be fun, I'm quite sure."

"I'm not so surprised about Buford and Baljeet," she said thoughtfully. "They're, like, inseparable - so if one had something else to do, then I wouldn't be surprised for an instant if the other decided to stay away. Isabella, though? That's something else."

She'd seen the girl from across the street make her way over day after day after day, come rain or snow or hail or even once, a tornado warning. Isabella's crush on her brother was indeed something else, to be sure. It made her wonder just what could have kept the girl away? Oh, well. It wasn't exactly like Isabella bothered to socialize much with anyone other than her brother when she was here anyway.

"You're right," Phineas agreed, glancing over at Ferb, who'd joined them on the deck of the giant boat. "It is strange. And she hasn't even called to let us know if something's going on. And she's usually so enthusiastic about our projects. I guess I owe it to her to call and find out if she's alright."

Once again, Phineas seemed almost as he was reluctant to call. Although Candace was fairly sure that her brother had never seen Isabella - or anyone else, for that matter - in a romantic light, he was still quite close to the girl, though, again, in a decidedly platonic way.

"Alright, give me a second," he said after a moment, reaching into his pocket and retrieving his phone. "I'll be back."

She watched as he flipped open his phone and held it up, pacing back and forth on the far side of the ship's deck.

"Some weird stuff going today, hm?" she asked Ferb.

He merely blinked in response, which was not unexpected, to say the least. Maybe she should take comfort in that fact. This, at least, was still the same.

"Well… that was weird," Phineas said, walking back towards them. "At first I thought she wasn't going to pick up because it rang for so long. When she did, I just said we'd finished building and asked if she was still planning on coming over. And she was like, 'I'm fine. But I'm busy. I'll be over if I come over.'"

He paused and looked off into space for a minute. "Which I guess isn't  _that_  weird, really, but the way she said it sort of sounded... funny to me. I don't really know why. Oh yeah - Baljeet and Buford apparently had to go to the library for something. They'll be back tomorrow."

"Well, looks like it's just the three of us, then," Candace remarked. "Aside from Irving doing, you know, Irving stuff. Kinda ironic how the first day I come back out here everybody scatters." She smiled slightly. "Makes it seem like they're trying to tell me something."

"Oh, no," Phineas quickly jumped in. "You're great. They just had stuff to do, I guess."

"Oh, well, thank you," she returned. "Although I  _was_  just being sarcastic, you know."

"I know," he replied, turning to her and smiling. She met his glance and was slightly amused at the way he suddenly seemed to get lost in space, hardly even blinking. What was on his mind anyway? Of course, knowing Phineas, it was probably some entirely random idea that had popped into his head that he was even now mentally drawing up blueprints for.

Ferb cleared his throat and coughed conspicuously.

"Right!" Phineas exclaimed, blinking and shaking his head. "To the Mariana Trench with us, then. Shall we?"

"Yes," she agreed. "Yes, we shall."

He smiled again, and again seemed to lapse into staring-off-into-space mode, but quickly snapped himself out of it and headed towards the ship's engine room.

From there, the day largely seemed to fall into the pattern of a normal day - another one in a long procession of summer vacation days. They rode the ship across the surface of the Pacific Ocean, all the way out to the trench. From there, it was abandoned for the smaller, yellow submarine.

The submersible carried them the better part of the seven-mile-distance down beneath the surface of the ocean. Aside from the light of the headlights, and occasional flashes from bioluminescent fish, it was completely pitch dark down there.

With a gentle bumping, the submarine came to rest on the ocean floor.

"Check it out!" Phineas said, tapping on one of the many dials on the control panel. "37,021 and a half feet below sea level."

"So this is the very deepest part of the ocean," Candace replied, studying the scene out the windshield. "Pretty neat."

"But this isn't even the best part," he continued. "We can put on our special diving suits and go outside. It'll be great."

"Then why are you talking to me? Come on. Let's... walk around on the ocean floor, I guess?"

The suits worked perfectly. A combination of anti-gravity technology and a crush-resistant external shell completely insulated her from the seven miles of water above her head, letting them all move about with relative freedom. The water all around was below freezing temperature, too, supercooled in a still-liquid state by the immense pressure above being too great to let it congeal into ice. That, too, was mitigated by the temperature regulation devices built into each diving suit. With them, the water seemed no colder than a normal swimming pool on a chilly day might seem - a bit cool, but easily ignorable.

They wiled a few hours doing all sort of things down at the very bottom of the sea. And at one point, not doing much, but simply standing and looking at it - and realizing that no other human being had ever laid eyes on the landscape. Well, this wasn't the first time they'd been the first people to set foot somewhere, and Candace was pretty sure it wasn't going to be the last.

At last, it came time to head back home. They returned to the sub and swiftly rose back to the surface, eventually latching firmly into the recess in the larger surface-going vessel.

"That was awesome!" Phineas exclaimed, as they climbed out onto the deck of the ship once more. "It's so weird down there - you might think you were on another planet or something."

"And you would know, right?" she prodded. "Well, to be fair, we all would. We've even been to other dimensions, only to find them somewhat more normal-looking than all that."

"It's kinda great, isn't it?" he agreed. "Even with everything we've done, there's  _still_  stuff on our  _home planet_  to explore. And we've got the entire galaxy yet to hit. It's pretty safe to say that no matter how many summers come, we'll never run out of stuff to do."

"That's true, I guess." She raised her eyebrows. "But let's head home for now. I don't know about you, but I'm hungry after all that. Even with all the pressure reduction systems, we were still operating under twice as many atmospheres as normal down there."

"Yup," he said. "I'll go and turn on the self-steering AI. Be back in a second."

She watched as he disappeared into the cabin. A few moments later, a shudder went through the entire vessel as the powerful twin turbine propellers began turning, shoving the massive ship across the sea.

"Well, another afternoon well spent, hm?" she asked, half to Ferb and half to herself. "Even if we did kinda get off to a weird start."

Her brother nodded silently and gave a thumbs up.

Just then, another shudder went through the ship - this one much more violent. And it wasn't one she recognized.

"What was  _that_?" she wondered aloud. Almost immediately, the deck of the boat began sloping to the side.

Ferb tilted his head for a second, and then a look of surprise and weariness spread over his face. He pointed to the cabin, where Phineas had just gone.

"I think," he said aloud. "That the boat is sinking. But not entirely by accident, if I had to hazard a guess."

Candace raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Wait, what? Sinking - on purpose? You think Phineas set the ship to  _sink_?"

Ferb shook his head. "I don't think he did it on purpose. Well, he did. But he has a good, if ultimately misguided, intention for doing so."

"For sinking the ship?" she echoed in surprise. The pitch of the deck was considerably more noticeable now, and she grabbed onto the nearby railing to help maintain balance. "What reason could that  _possibly_  be?"

Ferb shook his head again, pointing towards the control cabin, as if insisting  _she_  be the one to see what was going on.

Candace squinted at her brother. Okay, this was strange.

You know, for being her first day back making 'real' inventions, an awful lot of weird things had been going on. But never mind that now - she had to go and find out something about Phineas sinking the ship? For a good reason? Well, a 'good but misguided' reason, as Ferb had put it.

Carefully picking her steps along the by now-steeply sloped surface, she at last made it to the cabin door and swung it open.

"Phineas?" she called, stepping inside. Man, keeping balance on your feet with the floor sloping almost sixty degrees was a lot harder than it looked.

"Candace!" he exclaimed, looking up from the control panel. "Wh- what're you doing? Look - the ship is sinking!"

"I can see that," she returned. "It's a bit obvious by now, you know."

"But how does that make you _feel_?" he pressed eagerly.

She frowned, leaning into the control panel for support. "Feel? I don't know - worried? Confused? Wondering how we're gonna get home if our ship sinks into the deepest part of the ocean?"

The smile on Phineas' face faded, replaced by an oddly serious one. "You know, you're right," he agreed. "I don't know how exactly this worked for Baljeet and Mishti, but it's doing absolutely nothing for me either."

What on earth was he even talking about? Baljeet and  _who_?

"Well…" she replied slowly. "Can you, you know, make it not sink?"

"Huh?" Phineas seemed surprised by the question. "Oh, yeah, gimme a second."

He turned to the control panel again, his hands rapidly moving among the vast array of buttons and switches scattered across it.

Almost instantly, a change was noticeable. With a loud groaning, the ship slid back down to a more level position, and the engines started up again.

The second sudden change in the slope of the ground was almost enough to throw her off her feet. She leaned even more heavily into the panel until she was ready to trust the floor again, then turned back to her brother.

"So… why, exactly, would you think it's a good idea to, I don't know, sink our ship in the middle of the ocean?" She paused. "Even though I  _guess_  we did still have the submarine to get back home in - still. Come on!"

Phineas flushed. "Sorry. It was a bad idea, for sure. I don't really know what I was expecting to happen. It seemed to work so well before." He shrugged. "But that shows how much I know."

"What are you even talking about?" she asked in amusement. "Really, I'm not used to  _you_  not giving me full detail on something. Usually it's like, whoa, too much information, I don't need all that. Now it's like… I haven't got a clue what you're talking about."

"Uh… yeah," he agreed. "It's, uh, it's complicated." He stopped for a moment and seemed to be lost in thought, a strange, conflicted look spreading across his face.

A minute or two of total silence passed between them.

"Candace," he said at last. "I - I love you."

Her eyebrows rose slowly up her forehead.

"I love you too…?" she replied, still unsure of what exactly was going on. Something about his tone of voice… it was, well, it vaguely reminded her of Isabella for some reason. Probably because just imagine how miffed Isabella would be if she was here and heard this exchange. Pretty miffed, right?

Her brother stared at her for another moment before silently turning and heading out the other door of the control cabin, leaving her alone and completely bewildered. What on  _earth_ had gotten into him?

_Just one more weird thing to add to the list,_  she thought, stepping forwards to look over the instruments.  _Well, we'll be home before too much longer._

She shook her head and left the cabin herself. Why were her brothers so weird sometimes? Then again, she supposed that everything had seemed a little off-balance to her today, for some reason.

_Well, shoot. If everything seems weird, maybe they're all just normal and_ I'm  _the weird one._

Something was going on, to be sure. But what could it be? Who knew. Maybe she'd ask Ferb or something - or even Phineas, a bit later on today.  _He_  certainly had some explaining to do.

The remainder of the ride home went mostly uneventfully. The hover-manifold let the ship glide over dry ground smoothly enough until they reached the outer city limits of Danville. There they ran into the owner of the world's largest glass bottle, who said that their ship would make a great addition to his collection of ships in various-sized bottles. A price was agreed upon, a deal was struck, and a cab was hailed.

"2308 Maple Drive, please," Phineas said to the driver as they piled into the back seat of the taxi.

Moments after they were dropped off at home, Linda and Lawrence showed up in the station wagon, bearing groceries and talking of a movie that they were planning on going to see so soon as they got changed and ready to go. Linda still took time to dole out pie to everyone, but then quickly disappeared into the downstairs bedroom, changed, and before long, the red station wagon had pulled out of the driveway once more.

That in itself a bit odd, but compared to some of the other things that had gone on today, Candace was more than willing to let it slide.

She headed up the stairs, intending to ditch her socks and shoes now that the daily project had been completed and there would be no need to leave the house again today. As she opened her bedroom door, however, another surprise awaited her.

"Oh! Irving!" she exclaimed, startled. "What in the - what you doing in my room?!"

"Hello, Candace," he greeted, much more calm and collected. "It's nice to see you too. And look who I brought - it's the UPAFDS. Version twelve point five."

"Yes, that's very nice," she said. "But seriously. Won't you get out? Phineas and Ferb's room is that way - and don't say you didn't know that."

"I was already in there." He closed the hard plastic cover on the UPAFDS's carrying case. "It was quite interesting - quite. But I had to come in here, too - this also concerns you, you know." He paused, eyeing her. "Though I see that you don't know yet. Oh, this is even more exciting than I first thought!"

Candace rolled her eyes, a bit confused, and a little creeped out, but mostly just fed up with him. "Okay, yeah, that's great. Now just get out. You can get your pictures or whatever you're after later. Or did you want my dirty socks too?"

Irving made a face. "Don't be disgusting," he said. "That's nasty. If I wanted clothes, I'd have the decency to wait until after they'd been washed, at the very least. But no matter - I've already got plenty of new material. I shall thank you for your hospitality and bid you  _adieu_."

"Yeah, bye," she called after him, shuddering slightly.

He was so creepy sometimes. Perhaps unfortunately, it was also nothing unusual. For Irving? Nope - just the par for the course. And so it was that she completely forgot about it just a handful of minutes later, and was contentedly eating pie in the kitchen with her brothers.

This day had been kinda weird, yes. It had still been pretty enjoyable, if she did say so herself.

But there was something else too - something that couldn't be so easily dismissed. And though she couldn't tell quite what it was, it was almost like she could _feel_ it in the atmosphere, like the stickiness of the air before a storm.


	15. Crush

The day of the deep-ocean exploration expedition had been a success, Phineas thought to himself as he sat alone in the backyard under the tree. They had indeed recorded the exact depth of the ocean's deepest point, and had even walked around on the bottom for a little while. The fact that none of their other friends had been there was somewhat of a detractor, true, but it wasn't that bad - and certainly hadn't ruined the day.

Still, he found himself strangely dissatisfied with it.

He'd had the most perfect of opportunities to come clean, to entirely spill his guts to his sister, and yet… hadn't.

Okay, admittedly, sinking the boat had been a bad idea. However it had worked for Baljeet and Mishti, it certainly had done nothing for him, nor for Candace, as far as he could tell. That little mistake had been easily rectified, however, and wasn't such a big deal either way. What  _was_  a big deal - or at least a moderately-sized deal - was his own botched attempt to confess to Candace. He'd been ready, really he had. But even as he had prepared to come clean, his conversation with Ferb that fateful afternoon had come back to him.

A lot was riding on him and the way he broached the subject. A  _lot_  a lot.

His first inclination had been, and still was, to just march over and come clean. To rip off the band-aid, as it were. It was just how he went about things. Not only was it the easiest way, but it was pretty much the best way, he was sure. And even Isabella had sort of given him her support, although the fact that he'd not fully explained the situation to her kept him from assigning too much weight to her opinion.

Ferb's opinion, though - that had weight. And probably more than he reasonably should have given it, considering even Ferb had said that he wasn't sure what to do with the situation. But waiting around to think of some gentle way to introduce the subject was so… it was aggravating. He'd had the perfect opportunity to come clean on the boat. No one would have overheard, no one would have seen… it would've just been perfect, really.

But for the  _life_  of him, he  _still_  couldn't think of a better way to say "Candace, I love you", than to just flat-out say it. So he had - and, as was expected, she'd assumed that he was talking about their sibling relationship. Of which the statement was true too - he did love her that way. But there was more - a  _lot_ more. More that he wanted to express, but hadn't.

Hadn't because he still had no way to say how he felt other than straight-up say it, in as few words as possible. And so much was dependent on the way he brought the subject up - even to the extent of affecting whether or not his sister would return his feelings in kind.

_There's never going to be a perfectly gentle way to explain this_ , he realized.  _I mean, I can do my best to keep it from being to much of a shock, but it's still going to come from out of the blue._

That was true. In the end it was going to come down to Candace's feelings on the matter anyway. He'd just have to come clean, explain the whole matter, and then trust whatever reaction she might have to, well, to her. The thought was comforting, in an odd way. Because he  _did_  trust her, fully. Even to the extent of literally putting his very life in her hands, as he had done so many a time now, and often without so much as a second thought.

If he could trust her with that, he could trust her with anything, right? It  _should_  work like that, logically speaking.

Maybe he was overthinking this too much. Or maybe he wasn't thinking about it enough? There wasn't really anything about this specific situation one could blueprint, but he could still write out what he wanted to say, or something like that. Yes, that was a good idea, actually. If he wrote out exactly what to say,  _before_ he tried to say it, then he could read it off to Candace, not having to worry about getting confused or muddled up.

Or even better - record himself saying it and then play it back. Accompanied by a - a laser light show or video demonstration or pyrotechnic display or something cool like that. Plus, that would mean he'd have something to blueprint after all.

He really should talk to Ferb about this again. Maybe his brother had come up with a plan of his own by now. That would be quite a relief, if it was true. It was, after all, Ferb's observance that had pulled him into this hole to begin with - though he wouldn't have had it any other way now that he was here. Maybe his brother would similarly be able to help pull him out.

The wooden fence gate creaked open, interrupting his thoughts, and he glanced up at it.

"Hello, Phineas," Isabella said slowly, stepping into the yard. "Whatcha... doing?"

"Hey, Isabella!" He greeted brightly, pushing away the uncomfortable thoughts of just a few minutes prior. There was no need to bother his friends with these things if he wasn't supposed to tell them why. It wouldn't be fair to them, really. "Not much. Just sitting here and thinking about… you know, stuff."

Isabella frowned and almost shivered. "Stuff?" she echoed, her voice tinged with disgust.

Phineas nodded and patted the patch of grass next to him. "Wanna sit?" he asked.

Her posture suddenly went rigid. "No."

Now it was his turn to frown slightly. "Well, okay, then." He paused and squinted at her. "Uh… so, what were you up to today?"

She shifted back and forth on her feet and refused to meet his eyes. "I went to - I had somewhere to go."

A moment of silence hung over the backyard. Phineas glanced through the sliding glass door into the house and saw Candace sitting on the couch, talking animatedly on the phone. Probably with Stacy, if he had to guess. He wondered why she was still using the old landline phone in the living room. No one but her used it anymore - he wasn't even really sure why they still had it, beyond their father wanting to hang on to it  _because_  it was old. Why it was still connected? Who knew. But Candace seemed to like it for some reason. Maybe he should mess around with it one day or something - knowing from experience how lousy the sound quality was compared to their cellphones. But that could easily be fixed up with a bit of-

Isabella cleared her throat, and he suddenly realized that he'd begun staring.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, shifting to face her. "I, uh, sort of drifted off into space there."

"I noticed." She turned to look in the sliding glass door herself, then shuddered again. It made him wonder if she was cold - but it wasn't even the middle of summer yet. There was no reason for that. Maybe she was getting sick?

"Alriiiiight…" he said slowly, unsure why she seemed so untalkative as compared to normal. "What's going on?"

She frowned again, but said nothing for a minute or two.

"So," she started at last. "You've - I, uh." She stopped to clear her throat yet again. "You've been acting funny recently."

"What?" He was a bit unsure of what that was supposed to mean. Acting funny? Well, he'd  _felt_ funny, sure, but the reason for that was clear enough now. He'd tried to follow Ferb's advice and be discreet about his feelings, and had thought he'd done a pretty passable job, at least. "What sort of thing do you mean?"

He hadn't accidentally tipped her off somehow, had he? Such a thing could be… awkward. On one hand, it would be interesting because it would let him see just how one of his closest friends would react. On the other hand… what if Ferb was right and she did react strongly against him? He'd have hated to let something get in the way of their friendship - especially when it was something like  _this_ , something he couldn't reasonably just abandon because they would prefer it. Had it been just about anything else, that would have been a fine option. But this? It just wasn't.

"You know…" she drawled. "You're just…" she stopped and took another deep breath. "Phineas, do - when you called me this morning, you didn't, like, have someone  _specific_  in mind, did you?"

Well, yes. Yes he had. But again, this was the sort of thing Ferb had warned him against. And it wasn't just Ferb's warning - Phineas knew that his crush wasn't the most...  _common_  sort of thing, to put it lightly. But he didn't mind - and although he was pretty sure that his friends would support him, he still deferred to Ferb's admittedly better judgement in these matters.

He reached up to scratch a sudden itch behind his ear. "No, not really. Why - why do you ask?"

She frowned again, even more deeply than before. It was as if she had a lot to say, but didn't know how to say it. He could definitely sympathize with her on that one. It sucked, it really did. So he determined to break the silence, both to help ease the discomfort clearly obvious on her face, and to steer the already supremely awkward conversation away from a topic that might result in him accidentally divulging his secret - or more pieces of it, such as it was.

"You missed out on a good time today," he said. "Ferb and Candace and I took a big ocean liner out to the Mariana Trench and we went down to the very bottom of it and measured it out and it - it was pretty cool. You should have been there. It would've been fun." After all, he'd not gotten anywhere with the whole Candace situation anyways. So it was true.

"Please don't change the subject." Her voice was so suddenly cold that it made him double take. "Phineas, I  _know_."

"Know wh…" Even as he opened his mouth, the look in her eyes killed the words on his tongue.

Oh. Well, what do you know?

He swallowed nervously. Was this the point where she was supposed to recoil away and fall on the ground in disgust? To run away? Thankfully, she did neither of those things - instead just standing there, still as a statue and staring hard, her eyes drilling into him.

But the stone-cold reaction sort of… it stung, perhaps deeper than it could if she  _had_  run away. He could've blamed a reaction like that on shock, or surprise, or any number of things.  _This_ response, though - it was cool, and calm, and collected. She wasn't shocked or surprised - no, she was in full control of all her faculties.

Yet he could see it in her eyes - she  _wasn't_  happy for him. Or happy at all, for that matter.

"How'd you, you know, find out?" He forced a slight chuckle. "I really didn't want to hide it from you, honestly. But, well, I talked with Ferb and we were unsure of how you'd react and so we decided that it'd be better if I sort of kept it on the down low?"

"How I'd react?" she echoed. "How I'd  _react_? How do you  _think_  I'd react, hm? What would your ideal reaction be?" She shook her head and pressed her eyes shut, breathing through grit teeth. "Phineas,  _no_. Just… no. That's all I have to say. Just… no."

"No? Why would you - what do you mean by _that_?" He grabbed ahold of the rough bark of the tree trunk behind him and used it as leverage to clamber to his feet. Something about the sudden shift in the conversation made him feel as if sitting was no longer appropriate.

Isabella took a deep breath, as if only by great effort was she keeping her voice under control. Even as she spoke however, some trembling leaked through, a painfully obvious contrast to the otherwise strained steadiness. "What do _I_  mean? I shouldn't - I shouldn't have to explain to you what I  _mean_ ," she said. "This - is no. It's so  _wrong_. Can't you see it? Don't you  _realize_?"

"Realize? Realize what?" He insisted, growing confused. "I mean, there's nothing to realize. I'm in  _love_ , Isabella. That's all, really. It's - well, I don't really know to describe it very well. But it's a thing, like… wow."

"You think I  _don't know that_?" she replied, balling up her hands. "You think I don't  _know_  about being in love? I know. Oh, trust me, I know  _plenty_  well. And I shouldn't have to explain to  _you_ why you can't - can't freaking be _in love_  with your -" She paused, as if the word was stuck in her throat. "- your  _sister_. Just… no. I  _refuse_  to believe it!"

Phineas winced, frowning deeply. "Why I  _can't_? What do you mean, I  _can't_? Look, I know how I feel, Isabella. It's like… I don't know. But I know how it feels - and it's amazing. It's great. I can understand if the idea unsettles you, I mean, I get it. I know the  _word_  'incest'. I understand aaaaall of that. But I just - I don't know. How can I c _are_  about that, when I  _feel_  like this?"

"How can you care?" she asked. "How can you  _not_? It's - no! It's  _unnatural_! It's  _wrong_ , it's  _sick_ , it's  _creepy_ and you just  _can't_  - and - and -" Her voice cracked suddenly. When she continued after a moment, it was much quieter than before. "How? How could you do this - to me? Did you not think about  _me_? What we have?"

He was taken aback at the sudden shift in her tone. "Do this  _to_  you? What are you even talking about?" He paused for a moment, trying to think of what to say. "Isabella, I have no idea what you're talking about now. I get that you might be shocked or unsettled or whatever. That's fine. Whatever. Ferb warned me this might happen. I can deal with it." He blinked rapidly several times, attempting to make some sense of what she'd said. "But I'm not doing anything to  _you_? I haven't even done all that much to  _anyone_  yet, honestly. But I will - and when I do, it'll still not be to do anything to  _you_. I mean, frankly, this is between me and Candace, and it's got nothing at  _all_ to do with you."

He stopped and took a deep breath, looking at the ground. "I'm fine if you feel like you can't offer me your support. I didn't want to trick you this morning. I'm sorry. But you can't make this about you - I  _swear_  on everything I hold dear that I never intended any of it that way. I  _love_  Candace, really I do. I'm  _in_  love with her. I can  _feel_  it."

Exhaling long and loud, he continued. "If - if it would make you more comfortable, I can - I can not bring it up around you? I can do _that_. But I have to do this, Isabella. I'm sorry  _you_  feel this way - but I can't change how  _I_  feel."

He looked up at her, trying to gauge what effect his speech had had. It hadn't been particularly fun for him either - this was, after all, basically his closest life-long friend. After his conversation with Ferb, he'd  _expected_  for them to be not initially at ease. But  _this_? It was almost more than he could reasonably comprehend. Plus, Isabella was acting as if his feelings for his sister were somehow a personal slight towards her - something he would have never  _dreamed_ of doing.

Still, he tried to be logical and fair and understanding, even though her words had deeply disturbed something inside of him.

_Wrong? Sick? Creepy?_

Was that - was it really how she felt about this? The words sank in, feeling like weights. He swallowed hard.

"You - you really still have no idea?" she muttered, sounding heartbroken. "Aside from the  _obvious_  - you can think of  _no reason_  that this is a  _bad_ idea? Nothing at  _all_? I should've known." Her voice skipped up several notches. "I - just -  _no_! I  _refuse_  to deal with this  _any_  more! I am - I am  _gone_!"

"Have no idea about  _what_?" he insisted. "Wait! Where are you-?"

He started forwards, trying to stop her. But it was too late. She turned on her heel and marched out of the yard, slamming the wooden fence gate behind her with such force that it almost came clean off its hinges.

Now he understood why Ferb had wanted to hide this from people. This - it was worse than he could have ever imagined. Isabella was his  _friend_  - his best friend - and to think that something as simple as her finding out he'd fallen in love with Candace - however she'd managed to do so - had been enough to completely override almost eight years worth of that? He could hardly remember the last time they'd  _disagreed_  about something - much less parted ways in anger. Isabella usually went eagerly along with whatever he suggested. Which, now that he thought about it, was a bit odd.

_Maybe she's in shock or something_ , he vainly reasoned with himself.  _She can't be_ that  _serious - eventually she'll come around, right?_

He surely hoped so.

Was this how  _everyone_ was going to react? Was it - was it how  _Candace_ was going to react? He swallowed again. This conversation… well, it hadn't helped his nerves any. Where was Ferb? He desperately wanted some support just about then.

He turned and headed inside, superficially greeting his sister as he walked up the stairs to his and Ferb's bedroom.

Ferb looked up from a book as he entered.

"It's - it's Isabella," Phineas started dully. "I don't - she found out somehow. About everything." A shiver ran up his spine.

Ferb blinked and nodded, placing the book down on the bed.

"She didn't - she didn't take it well," he continued. "I tried to be, you know, understanding and reasonable, but she acted like I was somehow falling in love just to get at her for some reason and she called it - called me…"

He stopped, shuddering again. Ferb patted the bed next to him and Phineas gratefully took him up on the offer.

"She's my best friend, Ferb. You were right - I had no idea that people would be so strongly  _against_ this - that my  _friends_  would be so strongly against it. I - I don't want to let something like this get in the way of our friendship but, I mean, what can I do? I  _tried_  to be fair and rational but..." He paused to take a breath. "I mean, I straight-up  _told_  her, 'Look, if it bothers you, I won't bring it up while you're around.' But still she - she stormed off, Ferb. And half of what she said didn't even make any sense in the first place, but the parts that did…"

He stopped again, turning to look at his brother. "You - you don't think it's - it's  _creepy_  do you? I mean, I don't really think you do, because you've been such a help anyway, but… you don't think that, right? You don't think  _Candace_  will think that?"

Ferb blinked in thought. "I'd be lying," he said aloud. "If I claimed to be  _perfectly_  at ease with your feelings. But I do intend to support you despite that fact - and it's likely that perfect ease will come with time, if such a thing should be realized."

Phineas nodded. "See, I can get that - I can. That's pretty much what I said, too - not that I expect instant acceptance, really, I even sort of  _expected_  the opposite at first. But she was just so  _adamant_ about how  _wrong_  I am and I know that I'm not and it's stupid that we should let something like this get in the way of our friendship and I don't even know why she cares this much in the first place!" His voice slowly grew louder the more he spoke. "I mean, I can get shock and surprise and even being grossed out - even if I don't get  _why_ , really - but it's a big change and so that's fair. Still , she acted like I  _hurt_  her somehow and I don't like it and I don't get it."

Ferb sighed and shook his head. "In due fairness, Isabella  _is_  more invested in this situation than she at first appears," he said aloud.

Phineas blinked. "What?" The question prompted his brother to shake his head again.

"This is none of my business," Ferb said. "It's really no one's business other than her's-"

"What's none of your business?" Phineas interrupted. "Just tell me, please." It was bad enough that Isabella hadn't made any sense. Ferb couldn't start doing the same thing to him now. Just… please, no. That'd just be too much.

"Think about it, Phineas," Ferb insisted. "Isabella finds out you've fallen in love with Candace. She seems shocked - but in a way that's beyond what you might reasonably expect from a person shocked upon finding out an... incestuous relationship. She seems  _hurt_ , or at least claims to be."

Phineas fidgeted uncomfortably on the bed. He didn't like the way Ferb used that word. It wasn't… well, it wasn't wrong, exactly, but it made him feel uncomfortable nonetheless. "I - I'm not following you," he replied at last.

"How would  _you_  feel if Candace walked in here right now and told you she'd just fallen in love with someone else?"

Now  _there_  was a question he understood.

"Well," he answered. "I'd - I'd be happy for her, I guess. But I'd be upset too, I mean… I want the best for her, but…" He frowned. "I mean, I've still not  _told_  her how I feel so I wouldn't really be able to blame her for anything but that still wouldn't make it any easier."

Ferb nodded, a relieved look coming over his face. He gestured with his hands, as if say  _And…?_

Phineas knitted his eyebrows, deep in thought, trying to connect the two subjects. Would he be hurt if Candace just up and announced she'd found someone else, before he'd even gotten a chance to confess - or rather, before he'd  _taken_  any of the chances he'd been given? Well, of course. It wouldn't be  _her_  fault, after all, you can't blame someone for something they don't know, but that still wouldn't make it easy or fun.

But what did that have to do with how Isabella had reacted to him being in love with Candace? There had to be a common thread somewhere, or some sort of connection between the two.

Wait a second - there  _was_ one thing they both had in common…  _Candace_.

He was stunned at his own conclusion. But it made sense - it filled all the blanks and checked all the boxes. And in a way, it somewhat eased the sting that Isabella's harsh reaction had left behind. Because it made him realize she really  _hadn't_  meant those things - they were just meaningless words misspoken in anger, in a moment of passion.

"I can't believe I never realized this before," he breathed. "Isabella - she's in love with Candace too?"

Ferb blinked silently, if such a thing were at all possible.

"No, no, I get it now," Phineas hastened to explain. "Of course! It makes sense - why she would react so strongly. I - I don't know why she didn't just say something to me, but I guess that-"

"No," Ferb interrupted. Phineas glanced at his brother in surprise. "Phineas, that's the farthest thing from the truth. Isabella is in love with  _someone_ , yes. But that someone is - and always has been -  _you_."

Wait, what?

"With - with  _me_?" he chuckled. "Ferb, you're crazy. When has she ever done anything that would imply…" the words died on his tongue as he saw the look of pure seriousness in his brother's eyes. "Wait… you - you're not kidding?"

Ferb shook his head.

"I - I - I -" Phineas stammered, trying to comprehend the idea. Isabella? Isabella Garcia-Shapiro was in love with  _him_? "When you say 'always has been'," he asked slowly, almost afraid of the answer. "What  _exactly_  do you mean by that?"

"Always has been," Ferb repeated quietly. "Since the  _very_  beginning."

The words dropped like a bombshell into the room. Isabella - his best friend since childhood - was in  _love_  with him? And had been since the  _beginning_? Why hadn't she ever said anything? Why hadn't  _Ferb_  ever said anything? Well, he couldn't really blame Ferb since it really  _wasn't_  any of his brother's business… but it was definitely  _his_! Did - was Isabella - did she even...

Suddenly, he felt a whole lot more indifferent to her outburst in the backyard.

"Did she  _ever_  want to be friends with me?" he asked softly. "Or this whole time, she  _never_  saw me that way? She's been trying to - to  _woo_  me?"

The idea was ridiculous beyond all comprehension. Isabella was his friend - his best friend - one for whom he would have willingly gone to the very ends of the earth. Had she  _ever_  returned his friendship? Since the - the very beginning? Had he ever even seen who she really was?

"Why didn't she  _say_  anything?" he asked again, louder this time. "How could she never breathe a word of this and then go and get mad at  _me_  when  _I_  fall in love? That's… no. It's - it's  _not_ _right_."

Ferb shrugged slightly. "Don't be hypocritical. Remember, you also have a crush and haven't said anything about it."

"I - what - no!" Phineas spluttered. "That's different. It's been two  _days_ , Ferb. Two  _days_  and both of those days I've  _desperately_  wanted to come clean to Candace but didn't because I was worried how she'd react and all that. But as soon as I can come up with an even  _slightly_  better way to express myself than, 'Candace, I love you and I'm  _in_  love with you,' you can _bet_ that I will! There's literally  _nothing_  I want more right now. I'm not - I can't - and I  _definitely_ won't clam up and say  _nothing_  and let her develop an entirely wrong view of me and how I feel about her for  _years_  only to get mad and call  _him_  'creepy' and 'unnatural' when he eventually moves on and falls in love with someone else because I'm supposed to be some kind of mind reader and be able to magically just  _know_  what everyone wants and thinks."

He stopped and took a deep breath, his sudden flare of indignation spent, leaving behind a strange hollow inside of him.

Isabella Garcia-Shapiro had been his best friend for - for basically his entire life. She simply wasn't the person he'd thought her to be. She'd been perfectly comfortable to let him go through life believing a  _lie_  and it - it just didn't mesh with the person he'd known for so many years now.

"I - I  _trusted_  her, Ferb," he said at least, falling back on the bed. "With, among other things, my  _life_. And yet she still couldn't find it in herself to trust  _me_ with the truth? She was the one who encouraged me when we were stuck on that desert island - she was the one who helped me find pieces to patch up our airplane when we were stranded in Paris. She was the only one who was cute enough to stand up to Mitch after he got ahold of the cutonium. Goodness knows neither of  _us_  could've done that, and Candace certainly couldn't have - or that one pharmacist guy. You know, I always did wonder where _he_  came from."

He stopped and shook his head.

"The point is - I just - I don't know what to think. How much of that was because she was my friend? And how much was because she had… had  _ulterior_  motives? And it's not even like I would've been  _mad_  before. I'm not even mad now, just… I don't know! She may not have been able to trust me with how she felt, but she  _certainly_  was able to get  _mad_ at me for not returning her crush and call  _my_  feelings  _sick_  and  _wrong_  and I just - I just don't know anymore."

He took a deep breath and stared unseeing up at the ceiling. So much of what he'd always taken for granted had just been ripped out from under his feet.

It wasn't so much that she  _had_  a crush on him. That was fine - although he wasn't particularly interested in returning it, he would have been happy to have acknowledged it and gotten it out of the way as neatly as possible, so that they could return to being friends. Or work on  _becoming_  friends, apparently. Even so, that wasn't the part that bothered him.

What  _really_  got him was the way she just  _assumed_  that he would somehow  _know_ , without her ever breathing a word or giving so much as a single sign of it - to the point where she felt free to get mad at  _him_  for moving on when he didn't even  _realize_  she was so hung up on him in the first place!

"I realize now I should have said something earlier," Ferb remarked quietly. "It was none of my business and quite frankly I thought that it would reach a natural conclusion in time. But I was wrong."

Phineas exhaled sharply. "Yes, yes you were. I would think that at least you or Candace would realize that I deserved s _ome_  sort of warning about what was going on. It - I mean, it would have been  _nice_. You know, I wouldn't think I'd have to say that. But apparently I do - because apparently even things you believe for years can be turned upside down in an instant. You let me believe a  _lie_ , Ferb, for almost  _eight years_."

Even as the words came out, he instantly regretted them. There was no accusation, no anger, just a hollow statement of fact. But even that felt like he'd driven a huge wedge between himself and his brother and sister - and he just couldn't stand for that, not even in something this… overwhelming.

After everything else he'd just found out, he couldn't  _afford_  to let this get in between himself and Ferb - or Candace for that matter. Would it have been  _nice_  if one of them had warned him long ago that his supposed 'best friend' was not at all as she seemed? Of course it would have. But he could sort of grasp why they didn't.

It wasn't their business, and they didn't want to get involved. Okay, that was - well, it was fair, at least to some extent. He - he would accept it eventually.

"For future reference, then," he continued. "If you see anything like this, I don't care how much it isn't your business, I want to know  _immediately._  Don't -  _don't_  let something like this happen again. I don't care  _what_  it is."

Ferb nodded.

"There's nothing else I should know, right?" Phineas pulled himself back up into a sitting position.

Ferb shook his head. So that was it, then? Good. It was about all he could take anyway.

He hardly knew how to comprehend all of the things he'd just learned - things that he  _should_  have known about a  _long_  time ago.

Isabella having a crush on him? That was one thing. Isabella having a  _long-standing_  crush, from the very get-go? That was… well, it was unsettling, considering it implied that he may have never truly met the  _real_  her… but he could still deal with it. Friendships were always able to be improved upon - and although an unrequited crush was poor foundation for such a long-standing friendship as he had thought they had, even that could be fixed with time.

Even the fact that she said nothing to him about this whole matter for years on end wasn't the crux of the deal.

No, what really got to him was what she'd said in the backyard less than an hour earlier - words with a hidden meaning he'd never realized - and probably never would have, had Ferb not spoken up.

How could she get  _mad_ at him for falling in love with someone else - to take him doing so as personally as she had? Oh, yeah, because he was just supposed to somehow magically read her mind and  _know_  that she'd been crushing on him. Or had she just assumed that he was simply going to sit around forever until she randomly decided a time was appropriate to unveil her feelings? And then likely get mad at him for not immediately returning them?

The idea was distinctly distasteful. It was as if she'd completely neglected to remember the fact that he was his own person - with his own thoughts and feelings and, now, crush. He couldn't be reasonably expected to suspend all of that on a moment's notice because of this.

_Well, I'm sorry, Isabella._  He thought.  _If you wanted me to fall in love with you that badly, maybe bringing the subject up would have been advisable. Right around, oh, I don't know - any time in the past_ eight years _would have worked. And maybe you would've even had a chance. Who knows? Now no one_ ever _will, because you never thought to_  give _me that chance. Well, I'm sorry_   _my_  feelings _got in the way of your plans for me._

But it was too late for that now. He'd fallen in love already - his affections were already fully taken up with his sister. Isabella and he could be friends, perhaps, but he already knew, for better or for worse, who he  _loved_.

"I'm sorry," he said aloud. "I didn't mean to sound like I thought you were being malicious - I don't, and never could. It's just… I don't know. It's upsetting. I'm sure neither of you meant anything by it… heck, maybe it was even for the best." He laughed, short and forced. "After all, if it hadn't been for her abnormally high natural cuteness, we wouldn't have been able to take down Mitch those times. And if the only reason she ever stuck around was… was… because she was  _crushing_  on me - well, maybe it was best I didn't know."

"It's quite alright," Ferb replied. "Don't worry about it. Both Candace and I - we were wrong, but we truly didn't mean to harm you by it. Even so, you have every right to be upset. I sincerely hope you accept my apology. And I'm sure Candace wouldn't hesitate to extend one either, if she realized how you felt about it."

Phineas smiled a thin smile. "It's upsetting, Ferb. I mean, my best friend since, like, forever wasn't actually ever my friend - instead, she's been crushing on me for all that time. And you and Candace  _knew_ , but never thought to tell me. I…" He stopped and took a deep breath. "I guess you figured that it'd just resolve itself with time, so there was no - no  _need_  to tell me. And risk my reaction." Turning to look closer at Ferb, he added, "You don't think I'm  _overreacting_ , do you?"

For a minute or two, there was no reply. Not that he would have expected one anyway. Then Ferb shook his head with a slight shrug.

Phineas let out a breath of relief.

It was upsetting, really. How could it not be? To discover that the reason Isabella had so violently reacted to discovering the truth of his feelings was because _she_  felt entitled to them? How could you not get upset at something of that nature?

And that Ferb and Candace had  _known_  all along how Isabella had felt about him… but said nothing. Part of that hurt too. But no: one life-long relationship turned dangerously on its head was more than enough for one day. What they had done - or rather, hadn't done - stung too. But he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they hadn't intended to hurt him. And so he refused to give in to the urge to see it that way.

Somewhere, down deep in the back of his mind, he felt that neither had Isabella meant to do so. But that couldn't change the fact that she  _had_  - and had done so in a much more harsh manner than mere omission. No… the vividly worded description she'd given that had spelled out in crystal clarity  _exactly_  how she felt about his love for Candace had cut much deeper than his sibling's lack of inclination to set him straight ever could hope to.

One day, he still hoped they could make up - and become friends again, only for real this time. But for now? That would just have to wait.

Because most strongly - and most curiously - of all, this whole painful mess had lit a fire under his already present desire to come clean to his sister as soon as was possible. He just needed to find a way to say it. That was all - it was all that was standing in between them.

It  _hurt_  that Candace hadn't thought to tell him of Isabella's secret. But he could grasp her reasons for doing so, as flawed as those reasons may have been. And even despite those flaws - they were still  _reasons_ , based on logic, however unsound. He could be hurt and upset by their actions, but it wouldn't be right to hold her thought process against her - after all, it was only out of respect for his privacy.

Eventually, yes, he'd have to confront her about it, if only to make sure that she knew that she needed respect no privacy of  _his_  in the future when it came to telling him things like this.

But that was all he asked, really. He was willing to forgive an  _awful_  lot, so long as it was done at least with good intentions and somewhat sound reasoning in mind. What Ferb and Candace had done… was understandable by that measure. What Isabella had  _done_  for the past years - what with concealing a crush and all, could also technically fall under that net.

Nevertheless, not even the _most_  generous definition of 'good intentions' and 'somewhat sound reasoning' could cover what she'd  _said_  just an hour ago. Whether it had been fully meant or not - it had  _hurt_.

And soon enough there would have to be confrontation there as well. But for the time being, he chose to ignore that inevitability in favor of focusing on the present.

And even more than all that - this drastic reveal of Isabella's feelings served only to reinforce the feelings inside  _him_. How did it do that? He didn't know himself. It seemed like the longer he waited, the more problems cropped up out of nowhere. Maybe it was best to get it done before this whole mess reached critical mass. And he determined that, come harsh wind or high water, he would  _never_  do to Candace what Isabella had done to him. Of course, there was only one way to avert that.

By confessing as soon and as explicitly as possible, leaving no room for doubt or confusion about how he felt.

"Ferb," he said. "I want to tell Candace how I feel. I want to tell her  _everything_ , and I want to do it  _now_. I think this whole thing just goes to show all this waiting around is  _bad_. So, I won't wait any longer." He paused. "But… how? Do - do you have any better ideas than I do?"

Ferb blinked and turned to face him.

"I mean, I don't have many," Phineas explained. "Actually… none, really."

He fidgeted nervously on the bed, waiting for some response, verbal or no, from his brother.

A thick silence settled down on the bedroom as he waited.

"If this is really what you want to do," Ferb spoke at last. "Then there's no need to come to me for advice. Handle it how you would handle anything. It is, after all, between you and our sister. It's therefore best that you begin how you intend act throughout. As yourself."

"Wait, really?" Phineas reached up and ran his hand through his hair. "The best you can tell me is 'be yourself'? Isn't that a bit, you know, cliche? What about - about Candace's reaction? What if I mess up - what if I say the wrong thing?"

Ferb rolled his eyes. "For two weeks you comforted our sister after she broke up. And throughout those two weeks, you constantly complained about not knowing what to say. But, yet, look at her now. It seems to me you know more than you think."

Phineas tilted his head in thought. "I - I guess so," he admitted. "But, I mean, those situations were different - I mean, I didn't know what to say then either, but I don't know. I just tried not to think about it."

Ferb stared at him silently, but his face was readable enough.

"Right," Phineas replied. "So… just do that, then. Don't think about it. Okay. Okay. I can do this. I can - I  _can_ , and I  _will_. I mean, how hard can it be compared to, you know, rocket science or something?" He cleared his throat and stood up. "Okay, then. Here I go."

He hesitated for a moment.

This shouldn't be something he should hesitate over. Was he sure this was really what he wanted? It only took a moment's thought to decide on that.

Yes, yes it  _unambiguously_  was.

Then why hesitate? Why get nervous? It wasn't like  _his_  part of the confession would be hard. All he had to do was say some words. And goodness knows  _that_  didn't come difficult to him. Okay, then. This was it - this was the day. Nothing was going to prevent him coming clean  _right now_. And whatever her reaction might be, he was determined to at least get to a point where he could see it. There were still a few hours left before the early evening turned to night and it was time for bed.

And nothing was going to stop him from using that time to express how he felt to Candace - who was at once his sister, his best friend, and the girl he loved. How would it go? Only time could tell - but he had decided that it would be a _short_ time.

Leaving Ferb in the bedroom, he headed back downstairs.

Candace was still sitting in the brown chair in front of the sliding glass door, but was no longer talking on the phone - she seemed to be texting instead.

Alright. Here it was - the moment of absolute truth.

"Hey, Candace," he greeted. "I've, uh, I've got some... news."

She glanced up at him. "News? What kind - good or bad?"

He cleared his throat and nodded. "Good - I think. I mean, I hope so. You, uh, might want to sit down."

She shot him a mischievous grin. "But I'm already sitting. Come on, just spill it."

"Okay," he replied, taking a deep breath. "Here goes."


	16. Reveal

The landline phone clicked as Candace put it back on the stand.

It had been a while since she'd talked to Stacy - at least as long as she just had. She'd missed something about just sitting back and shooting the breeze about every subject under the sun. Well, okay, it hadn't been  _that_  long. Two days, at most, and probably closer to a day and a half.

Either way, it had been long enough to require immediate rectification.

So, what to do now? Linda and Lawrence had gone out to a movie-and-dinner or something of that sort. She and Phineas and Ferb would have the run of the house until at least ten at night, if past events were any indicator of a pattern. The day's budget had been exhausted, so, barring emergencies, there could be no more large scale construction projects, and dinner had already been eaten. Well, maybe there was something interesting on TV. More reruns of  _Horse in a Bookcase_ , maybe?

She was flipping mindlessly through the digital TV guide on her phone when Phineas came downstairs.

"Hey, Candace," he said. "I've, uh, I've got some... news."

She glanced up at him. "News? What kind - good or bad?" Whatever it was, it would probably be more interesting than old television shows anyway.

He nodded, clearing his throat. "Good - I think. I mean, I hope so. You, uh, might want to sit down."

"But I'm already sitting," she said, gesturing down at the armchair. "Come on, just spill it." Why was he being so dramatic?

"Okay, here goes," he replied. "Well, first of all, just to get it out of the way - I've just now learned about Isabella. About, you know, how she was  _in love_  with me."

Candace felt her eyes widen. This was  _definitely_  more interesting than  _Horse in a Bookcase_. The day that she would never have seen coming was finally here. "How?" she asked. "I mean, that's great, but - wow. What happened? Congratulations, I guess. You've got a girlfriend now?"

"Yeah…" he said slowly, looking down at the floor for a second. "No. I hardly think so. Just the opposite, really."

"Really?" Candace echoed. "What happened?" She'd never paid a terrible amount of attention to Isabella's crush on her brother, but still had sort of assumed that it would work out someday. That seemed to be the general consensus on the matter, pretty much no matter who you asked. Everyone knew Isabella wanted it, and Phineas was laid-back enough that it seemed like he'd go along with it purely because 'why not?'. To hear her brother deny that - and it obviously meant he had been the one to deny it, since she knew Isabella would have never done such a thing - was a surprise indeed.

"Oh, you know," he answered, fidgeting in his seat. "The way I found out wasn't… ideal. She found out that - found out something, and didn't take it well." He stopped momentarily. "She said some… things. It'll be fine, I think, after a while, but at the time they really… sucked."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized. She could tell by his somewhat subdued tone that whatever had been said had indeed 'sucked', as he put it. "I would have said something to you before, but, you know, I never really paid attention to it. At first it was because, well, busting, I think. But even after that, it never came up - after all, you never noticed her flirting, and she never did anything about that except flirt more. And it's been like that forever… so I just sort of forgot about it, honestly."

"Yeah, I figured as much," he said. "And Ferb said pretty much the same thing." He stopped to look at her pointedly. "I would like to say that I really, really,  _really_  wish you would have said something. The fact you didn't for so long kinda… well, I don't like it."

"Sorry," she repeated. "I would have, if I knew it was going to become a big deal - or even a deal at all. Like I said, kinda went nowhere for years and years."

"I know, I know." He nodded. "It's over now. No point in worrying any more."

"Wait, so what happened?" she asked. "Are you two still good? What's going on now?"

He frowned. "I don't really know. We had a conversation, and she kinda, well, stormed off." With a sigh, he leaned back into the couch. "I'm probably going to go over there eventually and try to get some closure from her, at least. I'd hate to end on that note."

"Whoa," she said. "That's… too bad. I'm sorry. Do you - are you, you know, okay with it?"

"Well, I mean, not  _thrilled_ ," he replied. "But it'll be fine. I think I'm just going to give her a little time to cool down, and maybe tomorrow or the next day I'll go over and see her."

Candace frowned - to do so so quickly didn't seem like such a great idea to her. If you adjusted what Phineas had told her to allow for the fact that even her brother - who was probably the single most optimistic person on the planet - had said that it had 'sucked', then things had probably gone  _really_  sour on Isabella's side. But what did she know?

"What exactly did she find out anyway?" she asked. "You know - that she didn't like." Candace couldn't really imagine any one thing her brother could do that would singlehandedly put an end to Isabella's omnipresent crush.

"Yeah, that," Phineas answered. "That - that's actually what I came down here to talk to you about." He paused, and seemed to grow nervous. "Basically, she found out that I was already in love with someone else."

Yup, that'd probably do the trick.

Wait, what?

"You?" she questioned, dumbfounded. "I mean, not to be rude, but whaaaaat? With who? And for how long? And, just… wow, I guess."

Here was  _another_  thing she'd have never predicted. Her little brother was in  _love_? That was… just, wow. A slightly bitter thought crept into the back of her mind.

_After all those years I thought I had everything all planned out - and he's still probably going to end up getting a permanent relationship before I can_.

Oh, the irony. It was great, wasn't it? But no - she was over it. That couldn't bother her anymore. Instead, she would be happy for him.

"That's great," she said, smiling. "So, who is it?"

He hesitated for just one second before answering. "Candace… it - it's  _you._ "

She blinked. Say  _what_  now?

"Excuse me?" she replied. All else was forgotten in that moment, though her brain refused to process the new information. As a result, her mind completely blanked.

"You, Candace. It's you. I -" he stopped to inhale deeply. "I love you. I'm  _in love_  with you."

Still, her mind refused to parse the information. So she stared, gawking at him silently. But some response was necessary. Uh… "I... love you too?" Well, that was dumb.

Phineas shook his head knowingly. "No, see, it's - it's different from that. I do - like that. But there's more too. I've - I've got a  _crush_  on you."

Even as he said it, her mind finally decided to start cooperating again. Wait,  _what_  was going on?

Phineas had said he had a  _crush_. On…  _her_. The concept was still nigh-incomprehensible. Phineas - her own younger brother - had… a… crush… on…  _her_.

"Ha!" she suddenly exclaimed, her voice at least one pitch too high. "Funny! You - you're joking, right?"

He blinked. "No. I - I've never been more serious in my life."

"So… you - you have a - a  _crush_  on me?"

At last, something  _clicked_ , and her brain slowly started working. Where before she'd been completely unable to come up with even the slightest thought, now a few started working their way through.

Oh, no. Oooooooh, no. This was… oh, no.

The weird, the abnormal, the unusual - admittedly, these  _were_  the things that made up the lifeblood of the Flynn-Fletcher household. It was part of every day, day in and day out - it colored the way the they viewed the world - it was embedded in their very DNA. Even the mere fact that  _right now_ , her birthday was six days off-sync with the calendar was proof enough of that.

Which was totally fine. She'd been dealing with physics-defying Forces, extraterrestrial beings, and all manner of straight-up impossibilities since practically toddlerhood.

This? Oh, no. This was a whole  _different_  level. This - this wasn't just 'weird'. It was… well, it was  _weird_. A shudder ran up her spine.

"Are - are you okay?" Phineas asked, a concerned look coming across his face.

"I - I'm fine," she said. "I just - what?"

He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "I have - I'm  _in love_  with you, Candace. I can feel it. It's - it's sort of like the feeling you get after putting the finishing touches on a huge project. But different. And better? I don't know. It's just… there."

"Wait, so…" She was still having a hard time making heads or tails of the whole thing. "You have a crush - you - you actually like me r -  _romantically_?"

Despite that, he remained still. "Put simply?" he echoed. "Yes."

There! That did it. A sudden tidal wave of thoughts crashed through her mind, driving all else before it. She unthinkingly drew back into the chair.

"Phineas, no!" she exclaimed. "That's - you can't! Like… no!"

No…! He couldn't, right? Right! Surely. Why would he…?

Her brother gazed at her, unblinking, unmoved by the outburst. "I can't?" he asked. "Why can't I?"

Candace blinked at the forthright question. Right - why couldn't he? Well, duh! It was obvious. "B - because!" she stammered, still hardly able to believe she was even  _having_  this conversation. "I - I'm your  _sister_! You're my  _brother_! That - that's… you know!"

But Phineas was still unfazed. He slid across the couch until he was the closest he could be while still sitting down. "So what?"

So what? So  _what_? Well, there was the matter of - uh, the matter of... "I mean - I mean, you're my  _brother_! My  _little_  brother! How can you - can you not know this?"

He frowned slightly. "I know." he said. "Really, I do - that has been made  _startlingly_  clear to me. But still - it doesn't bother me. And, honestly, I don't get why it's such a big deal."

"Why it's a big deal?" Candace was nonplussed. "It's - it's - well, it just  _is_. It's just… it's  _wrong_. You shouldn't - I shouldn't…"

Phineas shook his head. "That's what Ferb told me people would say. But, honestly - I don't care. I  _love_  you, and I'd be fine - I just wanted to know if there's a chance - if you might feel the same." He looked full into her eyes with a seriousness that was just so  _unlike_  him that it thoroughly unsettled her. "Do you?"

She could feel herself growing flushed at the question. Her own  _brother_  had just asked, in all seriousness, whether she had any  _romantic_ inclination towards him. And there was something about the way he was staring so uncharacteristically wide-eyed and fervent that made a small part of her mind not want to answer in the negative. But no! This wasn't - she couldn't - why was it even up for debate?

_It's not._ She tried to command herself.  _It's not up for debate. It's not up for debate. It's not up for debate._

Yet, for some reason, she couldn't quite bring herself to actually  _say_  that. It had to be the way he was staring at her, darn it. With a momentous effort she broke away from the gaze and stared hard into the floor.

Why was she having this conversation anyway?

"Candace," Phineas said slowly, breaking into her jumbled thoughts. "I'm really not trying to put you on the spot. If you  _really, really_  don't - if you feel like you  _never could_  feel this way, then… then I just want to know." He looked through the sliding glass door off at the horizon. "I just want to know  _now_ , not eight years of self-delusion and nursed feelings down the road."

Well then. At the very least, he was being straightforward. Which of course he would be - he was  _Phineas_ , after all.

_Straightforward with the person you have a crush on. Well, it's more than_ you _can do._

_Oh, shut up._

It wasn't like this was a  _hard_  choice, right? It was just - just the shock of the whole thing. That was the reason she was even taking this much time to instantly shut him down. Because it was crazy, right? Phineas was her  _brother_. He couldn't be romantically interested in her - be her  _boyfriend_. Because that was the logical end to what he was suggesting, right? That was absurd. For the briefest of split seconds, she caught herself mentally trying to measure her brother by that yardstick. Well, if you disregarded the fact that he was her  _brother_  - and was over three-and-a-half years her junior...

_Wait, what am I doing?! No!_

This was - this wasn't the time. She cast about in her mind to find some way to avoid a straight-up answer. But the sheer amount of earnestness in her brother's eyes was impossibly distracting, was making it obscenely difficult to think straight. Something inside her refused to flatly deny his hopes - which was  _obviously_  rooted in the fact that he was her  _brother_ , and as a good  _older sister_ , she hated to disappoint him about things that he apparently cared so deeply about.

Nothing else - of course. She'd only just learned of this whole mess. There simply hadn't been enough  _time_  for her successfully process it all. That was true, right?

Finally, a thought occurred to her - both a genuine question and a way to escape the ultimatum her brother had just presented her.

"So - so earlier?" she asked. "On the boat? When you said - said…"

Though she didn't finish the question, her meaning was clear enough. Phineas flushed over and looked down, as if with embarrassment. But only for a second, before looking back up.

"Yes - that," he said. "That was… the same thing too. I just hadn't quite worked up the nerve to, uh, fully explain myself then."

Candace frowned, internally thankful for this derailment, no matter how slight. "And  _Gitchee…_ oh, no." Suddenly the reason for the unfitting montage that had tried to start became crystal clear - along with the rest of the afternoon's general weirdness. Phineas' distant behavior, the montage failure, the weird incident with the sinking ship, his extremely awkward... Oh, no. She was  _not_  going to do this. "And before…? How - how long have you, you know, felt like… this?"

The memories of the two weeks after Jeremy had broken up with her were still painfully fresh in her memory. But that part wasn't particularly relevant to the matter at hand. What  _was_ relevant, on the other hand, was Phineas' behavior during that time.

She remembered how, as day after day after day had slid by while Ferb and Isabella and Buford and Baljeet continued to build massive contraptions out in the backyard, Phineas had stuck unwavering by her side. At first in her room, in then by her side as she took the first steps out and back into life at large. And she couldn't deny the effects his efforts had had on her recovery.

Just having someone around to listen to her when she ranted was remarkably comforting. Sometimes even  _Stacy_  noped out of listening to them… to the extent of taping herself repeating 'uh huh' and sticking the player next to her cell phone. Which had happened more than once.

Of course, at the time she'd wondered what had motivated her brother to so abandon his preferred activities to coop himself up in the house with her - but she'd hardly been in the state to think about it very deeply or thoroughly. Now, though, it made a frightening amount of sense.

And it held a frightening realization, as she just now grasped exactly  _how_  much she'd relied on him through that time - and how much she'd  _needed_  him.

"Not - not very long," he replied. He reached up ran his hand through his hair. "Well, sort of. I don't really know - see, I only knew for  _sure_  since, like, two days ago. Wednesday-Thursday-ish. But… before then I did  _feel_ this way, but I just - I didn't know why. Ferb helped me figure it out."

She smiled despite herself at that. Only  _her_  brother could get a crush and require assistance figuring out where the feelings came from. Then she remembered just who he was crushing _on_ and the smile disappeared.

"It was… weird, at first." Phineas continued. "I thought I might be getting sick… even though it never really quite felt  _exactly_  like that… it was kind of similar. Similar enough to fool me, at least. But I would get these funny knots in my stomach and feel almost feverish. Which sounds bad, but it was also  _good_. Like, it made me feel nice and warm on the inside." He stopped and chuckled. "Ferb knew what it was right away. I don't think it was particularly hard for him to figure out. He explained it to me and, well, it all sort of went from there."

She blinked at him, unwilling to respond. At the very least, there was no more doubt as to her brother's sincerity. He was  _dead_  serious - a state of mind rather unusual for him.

Still, that didn't change anything. Phineas was still her brother, and that fact was like an impenetrable barricade, preventing anything of this sort from ever going on. At least, it should, right?

Ugh, what was she thinking? Of course it did. She shook her head, trying to force herself to think straight for once in this whole thing.

"Phineas…" she started. "Look, this… I mean, it  _can't_  be a thing. You're my brother - I'm your sister. I can tell you're, like, really, really serious and all… but, no. It's - it just  _can't_."

He frowned. "You keep saying it 'can't'. But why, exactly, 'can't' it? Like, is there a  _specific_  reason that I still don't get?"

She could hardly believe her own calmness at this outlandish conversation. Having to explain to her own brother why incestuous crushes were a not a thing that people did? It was too ridiculous to give even a moment's thought, and yet, here she was.

"A reason?" she mumbled under her breath. "Yeah, of course. Well… it should be obvious. We're - we're siblings, Phineas. And although I do think that you'd be a good boyfriend-" wait, why had she even said that? Where was she going with this again? "-for - for  _someone_ , I mean, that someone - it  _can't_  be  _me_."

"But  _why_?" he insisted. "I know, I know. Brother-sister. But  _so what_? Aside from  _that_  - what reason is there?" He paused. "There's nothing, is there? Is that - is that the  _only_  reason?"

She leaned back into the chair, growing exasperated with him and with… well, with  _herself_ , for some reason. "So what if it is? It's not like there's anything you can do about it! And, so, the answer is - the answer  _has to be_  -"

_Come on, spit it out, you idiot._

"-it's-"

"Wait!" he interrupted. "What if we - we took the museum time machine and went back to the past and, you know, changed it so that I wasn't born the same as I actually was? Like - we could set it up so that on the night I was conceived, there was a… tornado! Or an earthquake or whatever, so that Mom didn't… well, you know, and, uh-"

"Oh, come on." Candace rolled her eyes in spite of the situation. "You're not serious? Changing the past? You  _know_ how dangerous that is."

"No, no, no, but it could work! We could be careful - if we watched were we stepped, we could make sure not to start any paradoxes. At least, not any big ones. And then - it would work. I mean, we wouldn't technically be siblings anymore and then-"

"Okay, get real, Phineas," she cut in. "Yeah, sure,  _technically_  we wouldn't be related anymore, but only because you're literally talking about  _erasing your own past_ \- turning yourself into a freaking  _quantum error_."

She stopped, suddenly becoming flustered as the meaning of his words set in. Okay, so maybe she'd underestimated just how strongly he felt about this whole thing, if he was seriously considering  _that_  as an even remotely viable option. A part of her was flattered that he would come up with such a plan but… no! Oh, come on. No, she shouldn't be  _flattered_ , for goodness' sake. This was  _Phineas_ , her brother. Yeah, if you forgot  _that_ , it'd be kinda… touching, almost, but… no! No again. She couldn't just 'forget' that.

Not that it mattered anyway. The plan was… it was frankly terrible anyhow.

"You do realize how bad of an idea that is?" she asked. "I mean, you'd completely scrub yourself from existence. What about Ferb? You don't want  _him_  to have been without you, do you? And Mom and Dad and Isabella and Buford and Baljeet and…"

"Okay, okay, point taken," he relented, holding up his hands. "You're right. It  _was_  a bad idea. Still… I mean, say we  _did_  do it. Would - could - do you think you might feel differently  _then_?"

She leaned back farther into the chair and stared up at the roof. Well, if they weren't siblings anymore… and she  _had_  literally just admitted that he'd be… no! She shouldn't be encouraging this - not in his head, and not in her own. "I - I don't know, okay? But it doesn't matter anyway, because it'll never happen and so it's not worth thinking about."

There. That appeal to logic ought to prevent him from broaching the subject again.

He blinked. "You're right."

So she was. A sigh of relief escaped her, perhaps prematurely.

"Why bother with hypotheticals when the real thing is right in front of us?"

Wait, what? Oh, no.

Phineas sat up straight on the couch. "Now," he said. "Right now… do you think you do - you  _might_  have - might feel like this?"

She swallowed. It was back - the question she'd hoped to avoid. Of course Phineas would bring it up again. It was his nature - forthrightness, even to the extent where it wasn't necessarily always a good thing. In this situation? She couldn't decide if it was good or bad.

Of course, there  _was_  an escape route. If she turned him down - told him off, flat-out stated that she never had, and never would return his feelings. Which she wouldn't… of course.

Right?

Okay, why was this stupid,  _stupid_  conversation being so hard? It was completely backwards. She should be jumping at the opportunity to end it - forever. Why wasn't she?

_It's not like you just admitted that you practically_ needed _him to get through your breakup. Oh wait, you_ did _!_

_Shut_  up, _I said!_

_Okay, then. I guess you're just planning on forgetting all about that._

_I said_ shut up _! That - that has_ nothing _to do with this. So what if he stayed in there with me when I needed company, but was absolutely miserable to be around? So what if he ditched his plans for the entire week to do so? So what if we went to Califor…_

_Oh, what was that?_

_N-nothing._

_Mmm hmm. You know, I thought for sure you were gonna mention the time that you, oh I don't know, practically_ went on a date _with your_ brother _._

_Stop it._

_...and you-_

_Stop it!_

_-andyouenjoyedeverysecondofitdidn'tyou?_

Candace could almost feel the color draining from her face as the realization hit her over the head like a ton of bricks. She hadn't even thought of it before. But remembering now, it could hardly be denied.

Still, that didn't mean anything, did it? It wasn't like she'd  _thought_  of it that way at the time. It had just been her and her brother out and about, having fun together. Nothing else.

But she  _had_  enjoyed it. And that, when combined with all the rest of the things he'd done _for_  and  _with_ her over the past weeks added up to a shocking realization. All those things that you might expect of a - a  _boyfriend_  - providing help when she needed it, even to the extent of ditching his other plans to do so, and generally just being there, no matter the issue - he had  _already been doing_. Not even just for the past two or three weeks either. Most obviously then, but all through the years before too.

Who did she go to when she needed real help of any kind - when she was in trouble and needed out?

Okay, so maybe it wasn't really a fair comparison. Who else _could_  she feasibly have gone to when, say, she was turned into a fly or into a sentient puddle or anything of that sort?

Still, that didn't change the fact of the matter - and it had only become more pronounced in the past weeks.

And it  _hadn't bothered her a bit_. On the contrary, once she'd gotten past the immediate heartbreak, spending all that extra time with her brother had been enjoyable. It'd been fun. It'd been- oh, no. Where exactly was she going with this again? Not anywhere she should be going, that was for sure.

Phineas shifted back and forth on the couch, clearly growing disconcerted by her protracted silence. But he waited quietly for an answer.

But what answer could she give?

She'd always been close with Phineas. But it had always been, as far as she had thought, an entirely platonic sort of thing. Apparently he had  _not_ , at least, so it seemed now. But looking back over the past weeks, there was no doubt that the things they had done together were pushing at those boundaries, if not quite breaking them.

And now he wanted to go farther - to fully break them?

But… no… it was wrong, right?

_Why_  was it wrong, exactly? It wasn't even like they'd have to go  _that_  much farther, really, a fact that thoroughly unnerved her.

Throwing back her head and rolling her eyes at her own stupidity, she exhaled loudly. "Phineas, I - I just don't know."

Even as she said it, she expected to be drowned under a wave of disgust. What had she just admitted? That, after long deliberation, she was  _unsure_  about the possibility of entertaining  _romantic_  feelings towards her  _brother_? What did that say about her as a person, exactly?

Well, she'd given up on being normal long, long,  _loooong_  ago… but, still.

The disgust came, too, but it wasn't the expected all-encompassing flood. Instead, a small dribble trickled into her mind, staining her thoughts, but unable to wash them away.

"Well," he replied slowly. " _I_ know. I know I love you, Candace. You're my sister - and that'll always be there, but this is more than that. And I  _know_  it."

Phineas never did anything by halves, did he? Not even falling in love with siblings. If he was going to do it, he was going to do it all the way.

"Why?" she asked, in a last-ditch effort to stave off her own brain from coming to the conclusion that was rapidly drawing nigh. "I'm your sister." This time it wasn't an objection - merely a statement of fact. "You know me, like, inside and out. I mean, you  _literally_  went inside my  _mind_  and saw my  _waterfalls_ ' worth of insecurities. And you _saw_  what I did - what I did to Jeremy." She sighed deeply, but the hurt was much less intense now - also testament to her brother's attempts to help her through it.

Phineas stood up from the couch. Wait, what was he doing? He stepped across the floor and sat down on the arm of the chair. It was the same thing he'd done many a time in the past when she was sitting here, but now, knowing what she knew, it felt… different.

"Why?" he echoed. "Well, I… don't really know for sure. To me it just - it just feels  _right_." He stopped and looked over at her from his perch on the chair's arm. "And, yeah, I know all those things, but… everyone's got their own things to deal with. You have yours, I have mine - but we can't let stuff like that stop us from doing stuff like  _this_ , otherwise we'd never get anywhere."

Part of her was miffed at the way he'd casually referred to her 'things'. But it was undeniably true either way - she was sometimes a mess, and she knew it. Being in a relationship with - with Jeremy had sort of helped, in a convoluted and probably not entirely healthy way. At least it'd given her motivation to continually sweep everything under the rug, away from where it could be seen.

Seen by  _Jeremy_ , of course, because constantly doing so around him was enough to wear her entirely out and often made it next to impossible to try keeping it together at home.

But Phineas… he already knew all of that, and whatever he hadn't known before, he'd surely gotten his fill of in the two weeks after she and Jeremy had… parted ways.

And yet, he, for some reason,  _still_  held  _romantic_ feelings towards her.

Why was this so much harder than it should have been? She was almost afraid of the answer. It couldn't be… it just couldn't. They were  _siblings_ , brother and sister.

Even that mantra seemed flimsy and unimportant now. She just didn't know what to think anymore. Only thirty minutes ago, she'd thought of her little brother the same way she'd thought of him for her whole life. This whole idea, this concept, it would have been ridiculous - and it still was.

"I don't know!" She exclaimed, exasperated. "I just don't know. I mean, I - I admit that you, that we - look, I  _do_  love you. But it's because you're my  _brother_. And so, it's like, we  _can't._ There's simply no option."

"You keep saying that," Phineas said slowly. "But other than the fact that we're related, you  _still_  haven't told me why. And, I mean, we could be discreet or something. It's not like it'd be  _hard_ for us to get away whenever we felt like it."

Candace closed her eyes tightly. "I - I just don't know!" she wailed, becoming distressed at her own lack of decisiveness on the matter.

"Well," he rejoined, "It's - I'm not asking you to make a final decision or anything. I know that it's kind of sudden, and that it's a big deal. I just want to know if there's a  _chance_ , if you  _might_. And if so, then we can… we can try?"

She swallowed. The logical part of her brain still told her  _no_ , still warned her off. This was her brother… how could she even briefly entertain the notion? She couldn't - simply couldn't.

Then why did it refuse to get out of her head?

This was entirely too short of a time to make such a decision, to have so massively altered her own feelings in the matter. And yet, it was almost as if it had been long enough. Because at its root - if she was being honest with herself, Phineas had already more or less been acting as a pseudo-boyfriend for her anyway.

Would it be such a big deal to drop the 'pseudo' and extend it all the way?

Well,  _yes_ , it would be. A huge - an  _enormous_ deal. One that she couldn't possibly accept, right? Yet… why couldn't she accept it? As Phineas himself had so bluntly said, 'so what?'

_Well, we're brother and sister. It's - it's just not right._

And why exactly wasn't it right, then? It wasn't like he was suggesting they have  _children_ together. The sheer thought of  _that_ made her turn bright red with embarrassment, although she had conjured it up entirely on her own. That… no. But if that  _was_ out of the picture, then why exactly was it so wrong?

And for the life of her, she couldn't find an answer to that.

"I… I don't know," She repeated, more softly this time. "It's just - Phineas, you… I don't know."

It was the best she was willing to do. Not exactly  _denying_  anything, but not admitting anything either, because at the moment it was the truth. She  _didn't_ know. A heap of conflicting emotion was piled up inside her, and the mere fact that she was so suddenly conflicted over this spoke volumes.

"So," Phineas replied. "What you're saying is... you  _might_?"

"I - I - maybe! I don't know. It's - I shouldn't, but I just don't know."

"Well," he continued, unperturbed by the outburst, "Like I said before,  _I_  know. And if you don't, we can just try - like even a temporary thing - just to see. And then, you'll know." He paused for a moment, shifting in his place on the arm of the chair. "Do - would you want - would you be okay with that?"

Candace scowled. It was the same question again, for the the third time. But she'd run out of deflections to throw at it.

_Ugh. This was_ not  _how this was supposed to go_. She complained to herself - though she wasn't sure how exactly it was supposed to have gone in the first place.

_Would_  she be okay with that? Part of her insistently repeated 'no'. But only part - and that was the most unsettling thing of all.

"I don't know," she repeated stubbornly. "I don't know. Please, Phineas. I can't - I just don't know."

He inhaled deeply and readjusted in his spot, then reached out and sat his hand on her shoulder. The touch made her tense up at first, but she made no move to shake it off. He was, after all, her brother - and had been her comforter too. This wasn't unfamiliar at all. And yet, it now seemed so different.

It made her uneasy - as she now fully understood the situation. Her brother was  _in love_  with her, in the full meaning of the phrase. And… it somehow settled that unease as well. She could feel her stomach twisting up as it attempted to be both repelled and calmed by the touch.

So she remained still, refusing to meet his gaze, but making no effort to withdraw from his hand.

This was just too weird - and the weirdest part was that she  _knew_  how weird it all was, but was doing nothing to stop it. It would have been so easy, too. But she didn't.

Why?

She didn't know.

Well, there might be an  _inkling_  of-

_No._  She obstinately told herself.  _I_ don't _know_.

And it wasn't  _quite_  a lie. There was a lot she didn't know. A  _lot_  a lot. So what was refusing to admit  _one_  thing compared to the mountain of the unknown?

"Candace," Phineas said gently, breaking the silence. Inwardly she regretted that he'd done so, because it was likely that the conversation would now be accelerated past the point of quasi-acceptance she'd finally settled on. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just - I have…" He stopped, and she looked over at him. He was staring off at the horizon out the sliding glass door. The sun was setting behind the distant city skyline, slowly drowning the bright colors of sunset in an ocean of inky black.

"Look," he repeated. "Isabella had a crush on me for  _years_. Yet, I never found out about it until today, when  _Ferb_  told me. She - she, well, I don't know. But when I found out like that, it… wasn't pleasant. It makes me wonder - was I ever her friend? I always thought of her as mine. But did she feel the same way, or was she just using that to try to get close to me? And the thing is… I don't know."

She could hear in her brother's voice a strange tone she'd never heard before. There was no doubt about it, whether he would say so or not, he was hurt over what had happened. And that bothered  _her_  too, stirring up older-sibling-protectiveness from deep inside her. She'd known about Isabella's feelings for her brother for years, but had had no such idea that it might affect him like this. She didn't like it - not one bit.

"Are you okay?" she asked, temporarily forgetting about the context that this conversation had come in. A slight stab of guilt darted through her as she realized that this was partially her fault. If only she'd warned him in the past, and not been so apathetic towards the matter. Isabella Garcia-Shapiro would never have forgiven her for breaking the news, but Isabella's feelings weren't nearly as important to Candace as were Phineas'.

And, honestly, if the girl from across the street thought she could do this to her brother and get away with it, then she had another thing coming.

"No," Phineas insisted, distracting her from her thoughts. "None of that's necessary. I'll be fine. Isabella - well, I don't know how she'll be, but that's between us. I'll take care of it." He withdrew his hand and ran it through his hair. A small feeling of regret sprang up inside her as he did so. Wait, why did that happen? "Anyway, my point was - she had a crush on me. And she hung onto it for eight years, never saying anything, until it fell apart. And the reality is, the only person she can blame for that is herself. But that didn't stop the fallout from affecting  _me_ , too." He paused. "And I love  _you_ , Candace. And I don't want that same thing to happen - not to you, and not to me. So, that's why I decided I  _had_  to tell you. Everything."

He stopped again.

"I don't want it to sound like I'm hunting for pity. Really, I'm not. It's just - it's why I did what I've done. Because I couldn't - I didn't want to keep it from you, even though I wasn't really sure what to say or what you'd think or… anything really. And it's - it's why I keep asking what you think. I want to know, because if you  _don't_  - if there's really no chance at all - then I want to know, so I can know to, well, to... forget about it."

She swallowed hard. The conversation had at last come full circle to the original subject. She could feel his eyes burning into the side of her head, but still refused to meet them.

"You keep saying you don't know… does that mean - does it mean there might be a chance?"

The question hung in the air, and though it had been posed gently, to her ears it was as if it demanded an answer. An answer she couldn't give.

Because she didn't know. A part of her still recoiled from the notion of accepting her brother's affections, let alone returning them. But it was only a part - and another part just as strongly didn't want to reject him. Didn't want to reject it because… she  _wanted_  to - to accept it.

But that was wrong, wasn't it? Wrong because… because…

But no reason came, even to the most thorough of hunts for one.

"Phineas," she said, still desperately looking for someway to avoid the ultimatum. "I don't know. I - I just don't."

"And…" he pressed. "Does that mean…?"

"Okay!" she burst, having had enough. "Yes - that's what it means. Are you happy? There's a chance. I might. I don't know if I can - if I will. I mean…  _incest_." She shuddered at the word, the first time it had been uttered in this crazy roller coaster of a conversation. "But, yes, it's… it's a possibility."

_What_  had she just admitted to?

A bright smile broke the seriousness on her brother's face for a second before fading. "So if there  _is_  a chance… do you  _want_  to try - to try and see if that possibility is a thing? If that chance is something you want to take?"

Well, of course he  _would_  ask that, wouldn't he? It was ludicrous, it was nonsensical, it was… the logical next step.

"You want - you want to be my  _boyfriend_?" The word felt funny on her tongue. She'd used it plenty of times in the past… but never in anything remotely close to this context. And yet, it wasn't quite so strange as she'd expected. She could hardly believe her own composure at the thought.

"I mean," Phineas said, suddenly seeming awkward. "I guess that's the term. I hadn't really thought about it  _specifically_ , but…" He tilted his head up to the roof in thought. "Yes, yes I do."

He glanced back. "Is - is that okay?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but no words came out.

What was she about to say - to admit to? Just three weeks ago she'd been in a...  _mostly_  normal relationship with Jeremy Johnson, and she'd thought that it would never end. But no - now here she was, seriously thinking about starting one with her own  _brother_? What was she  _thinking_?

She wasn't thinking anything. Her thoughts were all jumbled up inside her brain, overflowing with conflicting emotions pulling her in every direction at once. It was like she was drowning in her own mind. And, like she'd done so many times in the past, she turned to her younger brother for support. He would always be there for her, she subconsciously knew. Only this time, it wasn't the same as all those other times. It was… different in the most astronomical way possible.

What was she thinking? Nothing, nothing at all.

This was her brother… and she loved him in that way. Was it possible that she could love him in another? At this point, she didn't know anymore. But she was tired of trying to find a reason that she couldn't. And maybe, just maybe, she didn't want to find a reason.

"Yes," she said, in a voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, it is."

Phineas' eyes lit up. "Seriously?"

He sprang up from the arm of the chair and scooped her up in a hug, the likes of which she'd never gotten from anyone. Alarm bells were going off in her brain, warning her off. Telling her that this was wrong, that it was unacceptable. But she wasn't listening to them anymore. She had at first, but what did they warn of? Something that even she had failed to find good reason to protest.

Phineas was her brother… and one might think she would temporarily forget that fact to help rid herself of the unease lingering in her brain. On the contrary, it never left the forefront of her mind. She remained well aware of it, even as she returned the hug. Not that a hug in and of itself was anything unusual… but after this evening's conversation, she knew its implications well enough. What had she done? Was she making a mistake?

He leaned back, looking her directly in the eyes, still not loosening his grip in the slightest. But he seemed unsure of something.

"What - what is it?" Candace asked, still hardly able to find her own voice. He'd been the confident one throughout this whole ordeal, it seemed odd that here, at the very last moment, he'd hesitate.

His eyes briefly broke away from hers to dart up and down the room. "I - do - is -" he stammered. He blinked for a long moment, taking a deep breath. "Can I - we - I want to - to kiss you. That's - it's - is it alright?"

Her eyes opened wide. What was even going on anymore? She hardly knew. Her brain was entirely fried.

_What am I doing?_  she thought.  _No, I shouldn't, I shouldn't, I…_

Now it was Candace's turn to take a deep breath, attempting to settle her insides. "Okay," she said. "Okay." This was going to be her brother's first kiss, wasn't it? And it was going to be with  _her_ … his sister? What had the world come to? What had her life come to?

He hesitated again. "Really?"

She nodded, unable to trust herself to speak, and almost afraid to.

He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but apparently decided against it. Instead, he leaned in close. She could feel his breath against her face, warmer than the air in the rest of the living room. Then - his lips were against hers.

The alarm bells were still going off in the background, but she'd ceased to heed their constant warnings. It was actually happening. She was  _kissing her brother_ , and… wait, what was that? It sounded like… a door?

_OH, NO!_

The front door banged open, separated from the living room only by the short hall connecting the two.

"Kids?" Linda's voice came. "We're home!"

Candace's face flushed bright red, the heat radiating from her skin feeling as if it was warming up the entire room. She broke apart from her brother, untangling herself and trying to stand up in such haste that her foot caught on his and she went crashing to the floor.

Linda and Lawrence rounded the corner of the hall into the living room.

"What's going on in here?" Linda asked, sounding confused.

Candace couldn't answer. Her tongue felt as if it was made of cotton. She struggled to her feet and fled the room, up the stairs, and into her own bedroom, stopping only when she was safely concealed in its familiar shadows.

Even from up there, she could hear her mother repeat the question to Phineas.

"I - I don't really know," he answered, sounding somewhat dazed. "N - nothing. It was... nothing."

She shut her door and locked it, then turned and threw herself across her bed.

What had she just done?

No, no this - it wasn't right. It had to stop. If their parents had been even a split second faster, they would've rounded the corner before she managed to get free. And what then?

_No_. She told herself.  _We can't. I can't. It's too - it's not - just no._

Maybe those alarm bells in her head had been right after all. All the doubts and the revulsion she'd had to the idea in the first place came flooding back, and this time Phineas wasn't there with his looks and his reasoned arguments and his - his  _presence_  that always seemed to radiate his easy-going nature. There was none of that now. She was alone with only her frenzied thoughts to keep her company.

Phineas was her  _brother_ \- her little brother. There couldn't be anything there. There just couldn't. What had happened just minutes ago downstairs had been a… a fluke, an exception, a freak incident stemming purely from her shock at the bizarre news combined with the aftermath of her still-recent breakup, mixing together to create illusions of feelings that didn't actually exist. That  _couldn't_  exist. Nothing more, nothing less. She loved him as a brother, but no more. Why had she thought, even for a second, that there was a possibility there? Why had she told him that there might be?

Something in her mind still recoiled from the notion of correcting him, from setting him straight, from so quickly reneging on what she'd said tonight. But she had to - he deserved that much. She wouldn't let him go through life deluding himself with this… crazy idea. Because that was all that it was - a delusion.

Right?


	17. Fireworks

Candace awoke with a start after a long and restless night.

Going to bed knowing what she'd discovered last night - that her brother had a crush on her, and worse, almost thinking that there was a possibility of her  _returning_  his feelings - did not do much to help one sleep.

How could she have been so stupid? And now she got to suffer the consequences of her actions - having to go to Phineas and tell him that, no, she did not intend to accept nor to return his crush, and that he might as well forget about it.

For some reason, the idea wasn't as relieving as she thought it might be. But that was surely only because she knew he that he'd be disappointed - and probably severely.

_Oh, well_. She thought, internally steeling herself in preparation.  _It's_ got _to happen. I can't - there's just no way. None - none at all._

And that was all that she intended to think about it. Any more, and she risked falling into the same trap she'd stumbled into last night, one that had very nearly had… disastrous consequences.

She'd actually  _kissed her brother_  last night, her own younger brother, if only for a split second. She frowned, not specifically at the memory, but at her own lack of a disgusted reaction to it. Shaking herself violently for a second, she crawled out of bed.

_See?_   _I told you I was grossed out. I am, no question. The very idea makes me shiver._

She shook herself again, and pulled open the closet doors, hunting for something to wear.

Although getting dressed was finished quickly, she still felt reluctant to go out and face her brother already. Maybe she should… make the bed first. And reorganize her dresser drawers? Or pull the toolbox out from under her bed and just… dismantle and reassemble the bed frame or something? All those things sounded preferable to unlocking her bedroom door just then.

Well, she couldn't hide in here forever. But who was to say that she couldn't hide for a  _little_  while? No one, that was who. Eventually she'd be forced to go out there. And would come face-to-face with her brother, and would be forced to walk back on just about everything she'd said last night.

Which Candace knew, as unsettling as it was, would likely break his heart. But that couldn't be helped. Last night had been… had been  _nothing_ , had been a hallucination of feelings that didn't actually exist. And she couldn't just lead Phineas on like this - it wouldn't be right.

She plopped down on the bed with a dissatisfied sigh. Why had she been so… hasty? Of course, at the time, it hadn't  _felt_  hasty, but hindsight is always twenty-twenty and all that.

Maybe she should just let herself go into inventing withdrawals purely to avoid having to deal with this whole mess. It really was  _that_  uncomfortable.

Okay, well, maybe not quite. But whatever.

_Come on._  She thought.  _It's time to get out and get this thing out of the way so I can get on with my life._

Kicking the heels of her shoes against the bed-frame, she remained still. She glanced around the room, looking for her phone, but was dismayed to find it nowhere. Oh, of course. Because she'd forgotten that downstairs too, in last night's haste to get away. It was probably on the living room floor right now, or maybe on the end table, if somebody had noticed it. Or maybe broken into bits if nobody had noticed it and it'd gotten trodden underfoot. That would be a great way to start the day. Having to rebuild another phone from scratch and losing all of the data on it…  _again_.

Then again, maybe it was for the best. Her phone was still stuffed to the brim with pictures of Jeremy that she still hadn't deleted yet, at first because she couldn't bear to look at them, and then more recently because she'd forgotten all about them. It was similar to the shrine in her closet.

During one of the days immediately following her breakup, Phineas had been digging through the closet for something and had accidentally knocked it over. It was probably time she throw it out, but she still couldn't quite bring herself to do so. Maybe she could get Phineas to he-

A short rap at her door broke into her thoughts. Candace could feel her stomach twist up. It was time, wasn't it? Time to face her brother, after what had happened last night. She closed her eyes and exhaled. She could do this.

Standing up and walking over to the door, she unlocked it and swung it open, coming face to face with… oh. It was Ferb.

Oh, no! A sudden wave of embarrassment welled up inside of her. Her brothers shared  _everything_ , and it wasn't such a stretch to assume that Phineas had spilled every last one of the beans to their brother.

"Ferb!" she exclaimed. "Look, I don't know what Phineas told you last night, or even if he told you anything at all, but I assume he would because that's, like, your guys' thing, right? And, anyway, I just need to say that no matter what he said, it's _not_  true, and it's  _not_  real, and it  _didn't_  happen like that - well, okay, it probably did - but what I mean is, like, it's  _not_  going to become a thing because it can't and I - I…" Her voice trailed away as she noticed a slightly amused expression slowly spread over her brother's face. "...what?"

Ferb shook his head slightly and shrugged his shoulders, smiling in a way that unnerved her.

"What - what  _did_  Phineas tell you?" she asked, more slowly this time.

Ferb shook his head again, then reached out and offered her something. Oh, wait, it was her phone. Well, that was convenient.

"Oh, uh, thanks," she said. She narrowed her eyebrows suspiciously. "Where is he?"

Ferb pointed downstairs again. Candace breathed a sigh of relief. So she hadn't been overheard. That was… that was a major comfort. Not that it mattered much, considering her plans to tell him it all to his face, but at least this way he wouldn't find out prematurely, before she was ready to face him.

"Breakfast?" she asked randomly, though it was a pretty safe guess, considering the time.

Ferb nodded and then turned to head downstairs.

"Wait!" she called after him.

He turned back to look at her, one eyebrow raised in question.

"What  _did_  he tell you?" She was almost begging, though she wasn't quite sure why she wanted to know this badly.

For a moment he remained expressionless, then gestured with his hands in a manner clear enough.  _Everything_.

"Oh, great," Candace sighed. "Now you probably think I'm a weirdo too."

He shrugged noncommittally.

"Well, I  _swear_  I - I don't know what I was thinking," she started. "I don't know how exactly he explained it to you but it wasn't like that, I'm sure, I mean… I don't know." Those three words again - 'I don't know' - they really had become an apt descriptor of her, hadn't they? Why did everything about this have to be so confusing?

And now, she was hungry, and wanted to eat. But Phineas was in the kitchen, as he would be, and the idea of seeing him again already was… well, she wasn't ready.

But was she simply not ready to face him or not ready to backpedal on last night's talk? All the parts of her brain were giving her wildly different answers and she just didn't know anymore.

Ferb gestured down the stairs again, indicating whether she wished to follow him.

"No," she replied slowly. "I can't. I - I -  _bleh_."

She had to find the wherewithal to face her brother  _sometime_. They lived in the same house, after all. If she wished to put an end to whatever they had after - whatever  _Phineas thought they had_  after  _-_ last night, then she'd have to say something, and soon. Plus, she  _was_  hungry, as evidenced by the low grumbling from her stomach.

Ferb blinked at her, then turned and walked downstairs, leaving her alone.

For another minute she hesitated in the hallway, trying to work up her courage.

_Oh, this is silly_. She scolded herself.  _Why should I be so nervous? It's_ Phineas.  _My brother. I'm being an idiot._

With that particular thought in mind, she took a deep breath and marched downstairs. The feeling of unease built up stronger in the pit of her stomach as she did so.

"Candace!" Phineas greeted excitedly from the kitchen, as he saw her walk in. "You're up! Good morning! How are you?"

Ferb glanced at her, then back at Phineas and then back again, leaning back in his chair.

"Hey…" she replied, smiling weakly. "I'm fine, I guess." She hoped that he couldn't tell just how… unsure of herself she was. Considering it  _was_ Phineas, he probably couldn't, but Ferb was there too.

"Hungry?" he asked, sliding a bowlful of cereal and milk across the table. "Here you go. Got any ideas for today?"

She accepted the food and sat down at her place at the table. "Oh, uh, not really. That's kinda your thing, you know?" Was this the same boy she'd talked to last night - had agreed to go out with - had  _kissed_? It hardly felt like it. She'd been gearing up for some grand confrontation to take place - this weird, hazy idea that everything would be different now, but it all seemed so… normal. It was almost unsettling.

"I know," Phineas agreed. "But I figured I'd ask anyway. I was going to draw up some prototype ideas last night before bed but I never really… got around to them." He smiled at her again, before returning to his breakfast with a shrug. "But it's no big deal. We'll think of something. What sounds cool to you guys?"

Once again, she was unnerved by the sheer similarity of this morning to the thousands of summer mornings that had taken place in the past. Maybe she'd  _over_ estimated how much he cared about the events of last night? No, that was hardly possible. She'd  _been_  there, and seen the look on his face and heard his voice. She'd felt the intensity in his grasp when she'd finally relented to - to  _being his girlfriend_ , if only for a temporary space of time.

There was no way someone as unsubtle as her brother could have  _faked_  all of that, and definitely not to the degree she'd seen last night.

Then, why, was everything so eerily the  _same_? She got the creeping sense that neither of her brothers were thinking about this nearly as much as she was. Could it be because Phineas had felt like this for much longer than he'd let on? So, to him, it was merely business as usual? She wasn't sure how she felt about that idea either, but something about it still seemed preferable to the former for some reason, even if only a little.

She supposed that if it came down to one or other, she'd rather Phineas keep his unsecretive and ingenuous ways about him. It was just who he was, and she simply couldn't see that suddenly changing. If anything at all, his tendency towards that sort of thing would probably be good for a re-

_How about no._ She internally cut herself off as she realized where that train of thought was heading.  _No - nope._

She was supposed to preparing to cut this thing off, not finding more reasons to validate it. Not that it  _could_ be validated, right? After all, say, just for the sake of argument, what would they do  _if_  she decided to go through with it, and Phineas' propensity to ramble on about things led to him spilling the beans about it to, say, Stacy? Or Buford and Baljeet? Or, worst of all, their  _parents_? That was not something that she wanted hanging over their heads all the time.

Besides, secret relationships never worked out, did they? She thought back to the time she'd still been in one with Jeremy. Could she have kept  _that_  a secret? Probably not, and Jeremy wasn't anywhere  _nearly_  as talkative and prone to rambling on as her brother was. Now, to imagine that sort of thing with someone so upfront-

_Or I could_ not _._  She thought.  _No, there will not, there can not be a romantic relationship with my brother. I've been in love - twice now. I would_ know _if I was again._

To be fair, she couldn't really well remember much from her very first childhood crush on the boy from third grade, Billy Clarke. Couldn't remember anything at all, actually, aside from the fact that he'd had a thick shock of brilliant reddish orange hair - not too unlike Phineas' or her own.

As she recalled, that alone had been the main reason she'd crushed on him in the first place: no one else in the entire school - or at least in the entirety of the third grade - had had such brightly colored hair. Sadly, it hadn't gone anywhere - one day, right about at the end of third grade, he'd simply disappeared from the school. And from the face of the earth, apparently, as even subsequent searches of permanent school records had turned up nothing. But that had been a long time ago, and so it was probably not worth thinking about.

Either way, she could  _definitely_  remember the way she'd felt about Jeremy. She could remember the way she'd felt about  _The Plan_. That gushy feeling of delirium that made her want to spend every minute of time she could scrape together with him, that had driven her to hide behind the fake plants in the mall food court with a pair of binoculars and watch him as he worked, that had given her the idea to overwrite his conscious mind…

Well, that was far enough on  _that_  particular tangent. The point was, her brother didn't do that for her. When she was around Phineas, she felt… well, just... normal. Safe, perhaps, and somewhat more able to be rational about otherwise overwhelming subjects. Like she didn't have to worry about the things that she'd constantly worried about around Jeremy. Because Phineas was her brother, and she didn't  _need_  to impress  _him_. He'd seen what she was capable of - both in the good and bad sense of the word. There was no use in trying to hide it when he'd already seen everything.

But that was pretty much it, right? It wasn't like she didn't enjoy her brother's company, but that wasn't love, right? At least, it wasn't  _romantic_  love? Were was the urge to constantly stare at him, to stalk him down and make sure he didn't associate  _too_  closely with other girls? Sure, Phineas had said that he wanted  _her_  to be his girlfriend, but hadn't Jeremy said the same thing? And that had never really eased those sorts of worries before.

_Not that there_ would  _be anything there._  She told herself, unsure how exactly she'd slipped into the assumption that there would be if she looked for it. This frame of mind, wherever it had come from, wasn't exactly helping her feel better about what she was still aiming to do before long.

Candace finished the rest of her breakfast in silence, listening to Phineas expound at length on the technicalities behind the function of your basic perpetual motion machine. She wasn't exactly sure why he felt the need to explain something so simple to her and Ferb, but she said nothing anyway. As breakfast gradually wound to a close, and their mother headed off to the grocery store to stock up on various things, the one-sided conversation branched out to all sorts of other topics, from the complexities of space-time's conceptual fluidity, to wondering if one time through the washing machine would be enough to get tomato sauce out of his shirt - the one with the three stripes on it.

She felt the tiniest bit guilty for not contributing to the discussion, but still didn't speak up. Phineas was more than capable of carrying one on by himself.

"Man," he said as he led the way from the kitchen, through the living room, and out into the backyard. "You sure are quiet today. Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Even though he'd not specified which of his siblings he was referring to, it was still obvious.

Both Phineas and Ferb looked at her, waiting for a response of some kind.

"Uh," she stammered. "I, no - I mean, I feel fine, I just… I just…" She sighed.

No, this wasn't the right time to tell him. It needed to be done… in private, not out here in the backyard. Yes, because you never knew who was watching or listening in. Yes, even with the six-foot privacy fence. Besides, this was the beginning of the day, and she didn't want to ruin it for him - not that Phineas would let  _anything_  completely ruin his day, but she didn't want to stain its enjoyment more than was absolutely necessary.

Phineas stepped over closer and wrapped one arm around her, squeezing gently. "Don't worry. Whatever's bothering you - it'll be fine. Is it something you think we can fix?"

She shook her head. "No… it's nothing really." And for that brief moment, it did almost seem like nothing. Even the fact that Ferb was right there didn't bother her that much. She knew that the way they were hugging was rife with implication of the way her brother had told her he felt - of things that weren't appropriate for siblings in the slightest. And it certainly wasn't something she would do with Ferb, for instance. But this felt… well, it felt strangely comfortable. There wasn't a gratuitous rush of giddy lightheadedness, or anything of that sort, really, but it was oddly warm and pleasant anyway.

But because the universe had always had Candace Gertrude Flynn's name on its hit list, not even this could last for more than a handful of seconds. The peaceful atmosphere of the backyard was suddenly broken by the sound of the fence gate creaking open.

She hurriedly disentangled herself from her brother, almost falling over again in her haste. Thankfully, Phineas was able to grab ahold of her hand, restoring her balance and preventing too much embarrassment - she'd had plenty of that recently.

"Whoa, what're you two up to?" Buford remarked, strolling into the yard with Baljeet in tow. "Holding hands? Looks lame."

She suddenly realized that she  _was_  still holding her brother's hand - for no good reason at all. Flushing heatedly, she dropped it and took a step away from him, jamming her hands down in her pockets.

Phineas glanced over at her for a second, smiling, obviously not quite cognizant of her mortification at what had just happened. Theywere  _way_  past the age where that sort of thing was acceptable for siblings.  _Way_  past - now it would just look weird to people. And would  _be weird_ , she reminded herself. That was a very important part, too.

"Oh, nothing. What's going on with you guys?" Phineas said.

"We have come over for the daily project," Baljeet announced. "Wait, where is Isabella?" He glanced around the yard. "And Perry as well, I suppose."

Phineas frowned briefly and Candace watched his face closely. Really, she didn't know why she worried. This was Phineas they were talking to. But she somehow felt that she should be ready to do… something, if things were to go in a bad direction.

"Yeah," he said at last. "She's, uh, probably not going to be coming over today. I mean, she might, but I kind of doubt it." He took a breath. "But it'll be fine. We'll still have fun without her."

Buford shrugged. "Okay, whatever. Don't bother me. Whatcha plannin' anyway?"

Candace narrowed her eyes slightly, but she supposed the response was fair enough, considering there was no way Buford could've known the reason that she'd decided to stay away - and Phineas wasn't one to burden his friends with that information. Plus, for being two years her junior, Buford could be _intimidating_  if he wanted to be - and though she wouldn't have hesitated to come to her brother's defense if necessary, she wasn't sure if such a conflict would end very well for either of them.

"Sooo… what are you planning on doing today?" Baljeet asked. "We are ready to begin whenever you are."

Phineas turned to look at her for another second. "We haven't really decided yet. What sounds cool to you guys?"

"You're asking  _us_?" Buford scowled. "I come over here to get wowed, not to think. Hmm. I like things that explode."

"Oh, and I much appreciate mathematical precision!" Baljeet chimed in.

"Hmm…" Phineas mumbled under his breath. "Explosions and mathematical precision? Let's see…"

Candace grinned despite herself. This was what her brother did best, and it was fun to see him work. Whatever idea eventually came out of his head, it was sure to be interesting.

"Well," Phineas said after a moment more, "What do you all think about... pyrotechnics? It involves both explosions, and precise math - along with potential rocket science and stuff." He was becoming more excited as he continued. "We can construct a pyrotechnic launching mechanism - a really, really big one - and put on a fireworks show. It'll be really cool."

"Hang on," Candace interjected, "What about the sun? Won't that kind of make it hard to see the fireworks? It is the middle of the day, after all." It was a really cool idea, but these were the sort of kinks you had to work out sometimes. Not that she doubted her brother - he'd have some way around it.

"The sun's no problem," he replied. "We'll get a huge opaque disc and accelerate it into low-earth orbit, blotting out the light, and then - fireworks! It'll be great."

Well, that'd certainly solve  _that_  problem. Artificial solar eclipse? "Sounds good enough to me."

"Candace, Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!" he said. "And you guys too. Come on, let's get started."

She nodded. All of this was distinctly ordinary that it almost seemed like it could have been any other day. But it  _wasn't_  ordinary, no matter how much it seemed so. And she was  _still_ supposed to find some way to make sure it returned to ordinary.

But she couldn't interrupt an ongoing project to do that, now could she? It couldn't hurt to push it off till later in the afternoon - after the Force did whatever it was surely going to do - and after Buford and Baljeet left them alone. Phineas may not really realize it, but his feelings weren't the sort of thing you just spring on people, and honestly, she would probably just straight-up die if they were to find out somehow. That was  _not_  something she wanted to risk.

And so she decided that for the time being, at least, she would hold off. But no longer than that, of course. She was still set on doing it, and doing it today. But there was no reason to spoil the enjoyment of the day's project with something like that. Spoil it for  _Phineas_ , of course, because it wasn't like  _she_ had an emotional stake in the matter. Really, it wasn't.

The only other possible problem that could crop up was with the montage, if one came today. What if it triggered on something like  _Gitchee Gitchee Goo_  again? And there really wasn't anything she could do to affect that, except hope that the addition of Buford and Baljeet to their group would be enough to keep the song normal.

The trucks from the Super Duper Mega Superstore were soon rolling down the street with the assorted supplies that they'd need today. Piles and piles of fireworks of all shapes and sizes, and extra fuses. Parts for a computer to handle the timing of the launches. Parts for an  _actual_  rocketship, actually, a whole fleet of them, along with two hundred and forty-five trillion dollars worth of LI-900 silica tiles for the disc that would eventually serve the purpose of blotting out the sun.

Everything was going along so swimmingly that for a little while, she completely forgot about the awkward situation that was imminently looming in the future. They built up a computer-controlled console from which the firework rockets could be launched, and a system to automatically reload the launching mechanism after use. Phineas got in touch with the Federal Aviation Authority by phone and got them to agree to rerouting all air travel away from Danville until three-thirty in the afternoon.

The massive disc was assembled, piece by piece, and then many, many rocket engines were strapped to its underside. With the flick of a switch, they fired up in sequence, accelerating the huge object up into the sky. The temperature dropped as it was moved into place over the sun, and premature night fell onto the city. Streetlights came on, birds flew back to their nests, and light-sensitive flowers closed up. A cool breeze whistled through the air. It was almost spooky, in a way, for everything to be so dark at such a time in the afternoon.

"Here," Phineas said, pushing something into her hand. "You'll probably want this." She looked down at it - oh. It was a flashlight. Flicking it on, she aimed the bright beam towards the pyrotechnic control panel.

"This is gonna be great," Buford commented. "Explosions. Nice."

"And mathematical precision!" Baljeet added. "It will be most pleasing to the eye."

"It'll be both of those things," Phineas agreed, stepping up to the console and turning it on. Brightly colored LEDs flickered and beeped as he adjusted levers and dials and typed on the keyboard.

By the light of her flashlight, Candace helped Ferb spread out several blankets on the grass, where they could lay and watch the show. Buford and Baljeet built up a campfire, partly working together, and partly doing as much as possible to mess each other up. Eventually, however, the fire got started - in one way or another - and they set about to making s'mores and popcorn over the warmly glowing flames.

"You guys ready for this?" Phineas asked, his hand hovering over the start button on the console.

"Certainly!" Baljeet exclaimed, gesturing wildly about with his flashlight. Candace winced as the light briefly shone into her eyes.

"Yeah," she agreed. Just because this evening was going to be an unpleasant time didn't mean that she couldn't sit back and enjoy  _this_. It was going to be fun - and she'd helped put it together, after all. Didn't that mean that she deserved to enjoy it too - without ruining it for herself? She could just deal with Phineas later on, maybe once snack time was over and they'd had a chance to relax for a bit.

"Alright, then!" he said, pressing the button with a dramatic flourish.

A loud mechanical voice echoed from a speaker hidden somewhere. "The show will begin in thirty seconds. Please, find a seat and prepare to be amazed."

Candace sat down on one of the blankets, then laid back on the soft grass, staring up into the dark sky. It was pretty cool to think that the sun was indeed still up, and that the darkness all around had been induced artificially - by  _them_.

With a shrieky whistling, the first firework rockets were launched off into the sky, exploding violently - and with mathematical precision - in huge bursts of color. All sorts of vibrant patterns flashed into existence for a few seconds, only to fade back into darkness and be replaced by new patterns moments later.

"It's nice, isn't it?" Phineas asked, laying down next to her.

Her eyes briefly darted over to him, before returning to the sky. "Yes, yes, it is." And it was the truth - the effort to set it all up had definitely been worth it. The colors and patterns were quite pretty to look at, especially when you had s'mores and popcorn to eat while doing so.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him glance in the general direction of the house across the street. Isabella had surely  _noticed_  that the entire city had been plunged into premature night, hadn't she? Then she would also have to know that they had been the ones to do so. She wondered what exactly was going through the girl's head right then. More importantly, though, through her brother's. Was he okay with everything?

Well, it seemed so, at least, although Phineas had never been one to let things like this bother him on the surface anyway. Still, she hadn't seen anything that would seem to indicate he was  _that_  upset. Perhaps the mere fact that he'd so readily gone about the day without so much as a word about the absence of the girl who'd been his best friend since childhood was proof enough.

Candace frowned at the thought, staring unseeing at the fireworks exploding in the sky above their heads. This wasn't the sort of thing she wanted to deal with, really. Phineas wasn't supposed to be the one that needed comforting. How do you even cheer someone up who is usually such a perfect paragon of cheerfulness anyway? Maybe she shouldn't worry about it - after all, it couldn't be that bad as long as he didn't say anything about it, right?

Still, she couldn't help feel somewhat unsettled about the whole matter.

Phineas scooted over closer, until he was lying directly next to her.

"What are you doing?" she asked nervously, propping herself up on one arm. "Remember Buford and Baljeet…?" she gestured over to where those two were arguing heatedly over something or the other, although the constant racket of the fireworks detonating in the sky rendered their words inaudible.

Her brother looked up at her and smiled. "Candace, I don't think they'll notice anything - I mean, they're practically sitting on each other's laps over there as it is."

That was true enough, even she had to admit. Still, it just wasn't safe to be doing this sort of thing around them. You never knew what could happen. It wasn't a chance she was particularly keen on taking.

"Besides," he said, "We're just laying and watching the fireworks. Come on, it'll be fine. You  _are_  my sister, after all. What would they possibly suspect? It's no closer than Ferb and I are laying."

She glanced over on the other side of him and saw that was indeed true. Ferb met her eyes briefly, shrugging slightly before returning his eyes to the sky.

But what about cutting this off? She couldn't keep this up forever. She wasn't in love with her brother, right?

_No_. She thought.  _Couldn't be. Won't be. Can't be. Shouldn't be._

Okay, but while that was all well and good, Phineas was right too - he was only laying as close to her as he was to Ferb on his other side. So, this would be fine then, so long as it had nothing to do with his crush on her? That was fair, right?

She relented at last, lying back down on the blanket, turning her focus back on the fireworks overhead.

Time seemed to fly by as they watched the show. Before long, the grand finale exploded into the sky, and the launchers finally ran out of rockets to shoot off.

"That was awesome!" Phineas cheered, jumping up. "What'd you guys think?"

Candace nodded, adding to Buford's and Baljeet's enthusiastic assent. Yes, it had been pretty nice, she had to admit. Not that  _that_  part had ever been in any doubt, really. It was what was coming  _after_  that she worried about. And it was coming closer and closer with every passing minute, despite all her wishes that it wouldn't.

Phineas pulled out his phone and checked the time. "It's nearly three fifteen now. We have to get rid of this disc before they open Danville's airspace again."

Candace stood up, stretching. "Alright, I guess. Can't we just wait for the Force to take care of it?"

"I'd rather not," Phineas replied. "We don't know when Mom'll do something that would make the Force step in. It'd be better to just handle this one for ourselves. It won't be hard. We can turn up the thrust on the rocket engines and crash the disc into the sun. No muss, no fuss, and it'll be completely out of the way."

She shrugged. "Fair enough."

Phineas fiddled with the control panel again. "Alright, I've set a course directly for the sun. Turning the rockets up to full throttle in three… two… one… now." He grabbed ahold of a large red lever sticking from the console and and pushed it all the way to the top.

Almost instantly, a change was noticeable. First the edge of the horizon started to glow again, as the disc flew straight up and away, out of the Earth's atmosphere, destined for fiery disintegration in the solar garbage disposal. The darkness gradually grew brighter and brighter and the temperature began to climb again. It wasn't longer than ten minutes before the entire disc was so far away as to only be a tiny speck in the bright blue sky, and the afternoon sun was once more shining down over the city.

"Welp, that was good," Buford said, turning to go. "Catcha later, nerds."

"Yes, yes, we will see you tomorrow," Baljeet added, tagging behind the bully as they disappeared out of the fence gate together. "Today was a most enjoyable display." He turned to Buford. "Although you and your foolish…" his high-pitched voice faded into the distance as they walked away.

"Guess they didn't feel like staying for snacks today," Candace said.

"Nope," Phineas agreed, neatly packing his tools back inside his toolbox. "But that's probably more convenient anyway, considering Mom's not even back." He looked over his shoulder at the firework launcher still sitting in the yard. "You think it'll be okay to let the Force handle that little bit of it at least?"

She raised an eyebrow, briefly studying the launchers. "Yeah, why not? They're not hurting anything just sitting here. And it's handled way bigger stuff before."

"You're right. Well, the disc is gone." He hefted his toolbox up from the ground. "I guess all the cleanup  _we_ have to do is taken care of. Come on, guys. I think there's still some pie left over from yesterday in the refrigerator." He paused for a second. "Oh, there you are, Perry."

"Sounds... good." She followed him inside and into the kitchen, a feeling of unease slowly building up inside her. The time that she'd determined to finally set her brother straight was almost here. Maybe she should do it before they ate? She couldn't imagine eating anything with her stomach as twisted up as it was right now.

"I'll be right back, guys," Phineas said. "Just gonna go put away my tools. Gimme a second." He turned and headed into the living room, and she could hear him heading up the stairs.

Ferb stared at her across the kitchen table, his gaze making her only all the more uncomfortable. She really didn't want to have this discussion at all today. It'd been such a good day - to ruin it at the last moment with something like this seemed like a silly thing to do.

Maybe tonight before they went to bed? No, she didn't want to have such an unpleasant confrontation directly before attempting to sleep.

Maybe she could just do it tomorrow morning? No, that would risk ruining the entire day afterwards, and she didn't want that either.

Maybe the day after - no, that wouldn't solve any of those problems, would it?

_Face it_. She told herself.  _You told your_ brother _you'd be okay with also being his_ boyfriend _. Now, how on earth to do you expect ending something like that to go smoothly?_

And that was true as well. No matter which way she tried to slice it, it probably wasn't going to go particularly well. She couldn't help but think back to the time when Jeremy had broken up with her, and how she'd felt then.

Well, was it  _really_ necessary to go through with this, then? If she really wanted out of it, why was the motivation to actually  _do_  anything being so hard to find? There was no doubt about the fact that she loved her brother, but to be  _in love_  with him… that was different. And so far she'd felt almost nothing like the way she used to feel about Jeremy.

But it was  _also_  different from the way she felt about, say, Ferb. Which really exasperated her, because she should feel exactly the same around them both, right? Could it be possible that-

_No, no, no!_   _I would_ know _if I was in love. I would - I really, really would. Of course I would! How could I not?_

No, it was time to end this - and end it now. Before she ended up chickening out again. Right now.

Not taking the time to let herself think one more disturbing thought, she took a deep breath and turned, following Phineas upstairs. This wouldn't be fun. But it was necessary, right? Right. It was.

"Hey, Phineas," she greeted nervously, poking her head inside his and Ferb's bedroom door.

"Candace!" he replied from on the floor, his arm stretched underneath his desk. "One second. I dropped a pen back here a few days ago, but I can't seem to find it." He withdrew his arm and stood back up, shrugging. "Guess I'll need to get one of those flashlights or something. It's kinda annoying - that was my favorite one, too."

Candace exhaled slightly, willing herself to say what she knew had to be said.

Phineas frowned and sat down on his bed. "Something bothering you?"

Was she that obvious, then, that even he could tell? Well, there wasn't really a point in trying to hide it anymore, was there?

Sitting down on the very foot of his bed, she exhaled loudly. "Yeah, something's bothering me. Look, Phineas, I - I…" her voice trailed away.

_Say it!_

She could feel her brother's eyes on her as she tried to summon up the words from inside her.

_Say it!_

"Phineas, I - we - I - I don't know."

Ugh. Had it come to this again? She was tired of not knowing things. One would  _think_  that 'I am not in love with my brother' would be fairly easy to know or not, but apparently not. Apparently not! She sighed again.

Phineas slid across to the foot of his bed and put his arm around her. "What is it?"

But she really  _didn't_  know. Everything was so confusing now. Even this now - the way he'd so easily come over and put his arm on her… something about it set off the nearly worn out warning bells in her brain. But those bells had been tolling almost endlessly since last night, and she still couldn't bring herself to act on them. Because no matter how many creeping thoughts prodded her brain and told her that this was her brother, and therefore, wrong - it didn't  _feel_  wrong, at least not more than a little bit.

Instead, it felt… comfortable. Cozy and safe, in a way that she couldn't really explain. Phineas was her brother, yes. Why, then, did she feel so  _unopposed_  to this sort of thing? And she didn't know.

Or maybe the answer had been staring her in the face all day.

_No._  She thought resolutely. That answer was not… acceptable. It couldn't be. It  _shouldn't_  be.

Phineas was still by her side, patiently waiting for an answer - one that she didn't know how to give.

"Candace," he said at last. "Are you - you're having second thoughts about last night, aren't you?" The tone in his voice wasn't angry, or confrontational, or anything. Maybe disappointed - maybe. But even that seemed to stab into her. She hated to see her brothers upset - always had, and probably always would. But even this was different. Because where so many things had been the same today, there were also many, many things that were entirely changed, even if they were less obvious.

"Yes," she answered quietly, unwilling to lie about it. "I just - I don't know, Phineas. I mean, I  _can't_  be in love with you. You're my brother and what if someone busted us doing things together like what almost happened last night or - or, uh…" Huh. Candace racked her brain, but no matter where she looked, no other objections could come to mind. Was that a good thing or a bad one?

Phineas shifted slightly on the bed. "Well, as to the latter thing," he said. "I understand that we'd have to keep it out of sight of… everyone. And honestly, I'm terrible with secrets. But I'm definitely going to keep this one - because I  _love_  you and I'd do anything I can." He paused. "As to the first thing - I can't change the fact that we're siblings. I'm fully aware that you're my sister, too. But that doesn't change how I feel. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it strengthens it."

He stopped to smile at her. "I've loved you all my life so far. Is it that strange that I would want to spend the rest of it with you too?"

"The rest of your life?" Candace echoed, a tiny smile crossing her face despite herself. "I thought you didn't like to plan out that far."

"Well, not normally, no," he agreed. "But this - it isn't normal. I still hardly know how to explain how I feel. But I do know that I love you. And if you still don't know - isn't the best way to figure out things, like, by experimenting with them? Like the scientific method, really." He stopped and his eyes briefly fell. "And I promise that if you decide that you really  _don't_  feel like this, I'll not bring it up again."

Somehow over the course of the conversation, he'd brought up his other arm and was hugging her now. She didn't return it, but didn't move in his grip.

"I know," she relented at last. "I know. I really just…" She sighed.

What had she come up to here to do again? At this point she could hardly remember anymore. Was there a way to turn off that part of her brain that refused to shut up about how this was wrong? Because it didn't seem like it right about now.

"So," her brother pressed gently. "What do you say?"

And what was she supposed to do? Say 'no' and completely ignore how she felt? It wasn't  _anything_  like the way she'd felt about Jeremy. At all. But maybe it wasn't supposed to be. She didn't know. Whatever the alarm bells were warning about - she couldn't find it. And it definitely wasn't for lack of searching. Was this how things were going to be?

And one thing that she  _did_  know was that she could think of a lot of worse ways for things to be.

"The same thing as last night," she sighed at last. "Okay - just… keep the secret, please?"

Phineas looked up, the happiness shining in his eyes clearly visible. It melted right through her. "Of course."

"Good, then, I guess." She squirmed uncomfortably in his grasp. "Phineas, lighten up. I think you're breaking my ribs."

"Oh, sorry." He dropped his arms and scooted a little ways away. "I - uh - ehm."

She could feel her eyes instinctively widen as she suddenly got a feeling what he was about to say.

He ran his hand through his hair. "I mean, last night - we kinda got interrupted. Is it okay if I - if  _we_  - kiss... again?"

Well, if she'd just agreed to stick with being his girlfriend, then she might as well go all the way. "Okay," she replied, ignoring the alarm bells that simple word set off. What was she about to do? Something that no normal person would ever dream of doing.

But when was the last time an obstacle like  _that_  had stopped any of the Flynn-Fletcher children?

Her brother wrapped his arms around her, leaned in close, and again, same as last night, she was kissing her little brother. In a way that was entirely inappropriate and yet… triggered no wave of revulsion in her brain, no rising bile in her throat.

It wasn't the  _perfect_  kiss, by any means - but she wouldn't have expected that from someone like her brother anyway. And Phineas tended to pick up on things quickly. Practice makes perfect, doesn't it? She was unsure where exactly  _that_  particular thought came from, but it wasn't important anyway. For all the things working against this - her brother's lack of experience, along with the fact he was her  _brother_  at all - it had a lot going for it as well.

Did she  _romantically_  love her little brother? The question that'd haunted her all day was forgotten, its answer suddenly seeming unimportant.

When they finally broke apart, Phineas was smiling wider than she'd ever seen before. "I…" he started, then shook his head. "That - you - whoa." He blinked several times, and Candace felt herself blush for no reason at all.

He leaned forwards again, then drew slightly back. "Do you mind?"

She shook her head, and moments later his lips were against hers again. There were plenty of ways to spend an afternoon, and this was certainly not the worst of them.

* * *

"Phineas," Candace said slowly, smoothing out her shirt. "We should probably get back downstairs now." Even as she said it, a strange tinge of regret crept into her mind.

"Really?" he asked, glancing at the clock. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Oh, wow. It's almost four. I didn't even realize."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Just think of Ferb down there, having to eat pie all by himself."

"Well, more for him then, right?" He smiled broadly. "Can we do one more?"

Candace rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling slightly. "Seriously?"

"Come on," he said. "Just one more time, then we can go back downstairs and see if Ferb left us anything at all to eat."

"Alright," she relented. "But if we get down there and there's nothing left, I'm blaming you."

"That's okay by me." Phineas wrapped his arms around her and leaned in close. Their lips met again, and - the doorknob turned.

It turned and the bedroom door swung open, banging back against the rubber doorstopper, as Linda Flynn-Fletcher strolled into the room.

"Hey, guys," she announced. "I-" Her voice trailed away for a moment as she took in the scene before her.

"Huh, that's so weird." Her eyes darted from corner to corner of the room, but found it empty. "I could've sworn I heard someone in here. Guess I'm going crazy."

She stepped over to Phineas' bed and plopped the neatly folded laundry on the warm depression in the blankets, then turned and headed back downstairs.

She was feeling a bit like the first president today, after all. She could worry about other things after she finished  _Washing-a-ton_.


	18. Free Fall

The shift was so sudden that Candace still wasn't quite sure what happened. One moment, she and Phineas had been sitting together on his bed, and the next, a loud, almost squishy, sound exploded into her ears and the whole room lit up in a bright green glow that scoured every surface in the bedroom. She broke away from her brother, looking around in confusion as the roar grew louder, drowning out all attempt to talk between them.

Then it was all gone - the light, the sound, the...  _everything_?

Their surroundings had entirely shifted - the entire bedroom was just gone. In its place, a thick white mist extended as far as the eye could see in all directions. She could barely see Phineas just two feet away. There was no ground, and no up or down or… anything. Just floating in an endless white void. Her ears were still ringing a little bit.

"Say, look!" Phineas exclaimed, shouting over the wind. Wait, wind? Yes, wind. It all came from one direction, too. Was that up? Or down? She couldn't tell. "We're falling!"

"What?" she yelled back. "How can you tell?!"

He reached into his pocket and produced his portable miniature screwdriver set, pulling one of them out and holding it out into the void.

"Watch which direction it goes!" he called, letting go. It shot off in a seemingly random direction. "That's up! The same direction your hair's blowing. This - it isn't wind. It's air current because we're  _falling_. You know, from the  _sky_!"

The sky? And why would there be a thick mass of grayish-white mist floating in the… oh. This was a cloud, wasn't it? How did they even get up here so suddenly? What on  _earth_  had happened? And weren't clouds, like, many hundreds and thousands of feet in the air?

With a sudden slight puff, the dense mist all around abruptly gave way to crystal clear air. Her eyes widened as she saw a hazy green and gray outline far below.  _The ground_. So they were in the sky after all. Never before had her fear of heights been so intense as at that moment.

"Phineas!" she shouted breathlessly, her voice cracking.

"Don't panic!" he responded. "Your phone! Do you have it?"

"My -"  _Oh._

Well, of course. The teleportation system. It was such a good thing her phone had that functionality. She'd never thought that it would end up literally saving their lives.

She reached back into her left pocket and felt around. It wasn't there. Maybe the - nope. Wait - if it wasn't in either pocket, then ... ?

Uh-oh _._

"I don't have it!" she yelled. "I don't have it! Ferb gave it to me this morning, but it was almost dead from not being charged last night and so I left it my room to charge!" The full meaning of her own words caused icy terror to well up inside her.

Phineas' eyes widened just the tiniest amount - but even that slight indicator of fear was enough to catapult her into a full panic. Her brother was never scared - never, not of anything. If  _he_ was scared - then, like on that island in the middle of the Atlantic - things were well and truly bleak.

"Are - are we going to die!?" she shouted, becoming frozen with fear. Her eyes locked onto the ground below. It was still a ways away - how high had they been transported anyway?

"It's going to be okay!" Phineas shouted back. "Have you ever been skydiving?!"

_Skydiving?_ But he was forgetting something very important - they had no  _parachutes_! Those were quite important to ensuring that skydiving was, well, survivable.

"Candace!" he shouted again. "Don't panic! It's going to be okay! Just breathe!" He made a series of awkward motions in the air, half-flailing and half-swimming his way towards her. "Okay, I need you to work with me!" he repeated. "Just listen to me! Don't think about anything else!"

But it was all she could think about. Her fear of heights had seized upon her, hard. The ground below looked a non-solid misty mass  _now_  - but it wouldn't be soon enough. Soon enough it would resolve into the farthest thing from unclear haze - into hard, unyielding dirt and cement. And they'd slam into the ground at a hundred and twenty miles an hour - and you don't just walk away from something like that.

"Candace!" Phineas shouted again, reaching out and forcing her to tear her eyes off the impending death below. "Don't look down! Just look at me!" He stared intensely into her eyes, obviously thinking hard. "Okay!" he said in a lower tone. "Listen closely. We're going to practice skydiving now. Are you ready?"

Candace nodded mutely, staring full into his face, unable to move her eyes for fear of them being drawn irresistibly back to what awaited below.

"Alright," he continued. "I need your belt."

Wait, what? Her belt? Why would he want that - this was no time for -

"Candace!" he demanded. "I'm  _serious_! Belt! Now!" His tone of voice snapped her out of the trance. She scrambled down to her waist and hastily undid her belt, pulling it free of its straps. "Now give it to me!" he repeated. "Okay, now just hold still and don't make any sudden movements."

The long strip of leather flapped in the wind as she reached out and handed it to her brother. He grabbed ahold of it by the buckle, then grabbed her arm and pulled himself in close.

"Have you ever seen even just  _pictures_  of skydivers?" he repeated. When no response was forthcoming, he insisted. "I need to know! It's gonna be real important - I have to know what I'm working with if we're gonna make it."

The urgency of the final phrase finally broke her free of the cold grasp of terror, as the realization sank into her head. If they didn't do this right - they were going to  _die_.

"No," she said, in a voice only slightly louder than a whisper. Somehow he heard it over the buffeting of the wind.

"Okay." His voice was calm and measured, and she clung to it as if her life depended on it - which, in this case, it probably did. "When a new skydiver - like you - takes their first jump, they often wear what is called a tandem harness. Now, we don't have one, but I can put one together. Ready?"

Candace nodded. The cool, collected undercurrent that had suddenly sprang up in his tone was greatly helping her nerves.

"Alright. I'm starting now. Don't worry - we're gonna be  _fine_."

He pulled himself around behind her and looped the belts around them, pulling them tight, drawing her back against himself, firmly lashing them together in air. The only sound was the constant wailing of the wind as they continued plummeting downwards.

"Alright!" he announced, taints of his old cheer returning. "That's done. Now - for the tricky part."

"T-tricky part?" she asked.

"Yeah - see those black specks down there?" She nodded, following his outstretched finger. "Those are drones of some sort. Probably Irving's camera drones or something. But they're going to save us."

"But they're way over there? How're we supposed to get to them?"

"We're going to track!" he returned. "Just let me do the work - I've been skydiving before, just earlier this summer, even. Just relax and come along for the ride - that's what the harness is for. So you don't have to do anything."

All at once, her field of view shifted entirely, as she was tilted forwards, becoming parallel with the ground.

Her breath caught violently once more. The haze covering the ground had melted away, and she could distinguish the roof of the house clearly. It was much closer now - and getting even closer every passing second. Graphic images of instant death - of sudden impact with immovable concrete instantly rending them to shreds - flashed through her mind again. Would it hurt?

"Don't look down!" Phineas repeated from above her. The leather straps tugged on her, pulling her along as he somehow steered them through the air. She tore her eyes away from the ground and looked off into the horizon. The skyline of downtown Danville stood in sharp relief against the sky - and suddenly, it wasn't so scary anymore. Phineas had a plan of some sort. Everything would ~~probably~~  be okay.

A loud buzzing filled the air. It was a drone - they'd all been so far away, and yet was now it sounded as if they were right next to it. How had Phineas steered them through the air again?

"And ... I got it!" he announced. She heard the drone complain as he snatched it out of the air and turned it over. "Hmm... 'Property of O - W - C - A'. Doesn't look like any of Irving's drones that I've ever seen. No matter - I'm sure they won't mind, considering the state of things. Give me a second to work."

"What are you doing?" Candace asked, trying to crane her neck around to see. But the makeshift harness resisted the action, and kept her unable to look.

"It's a good thing I have that screwdriver set on me!" he said. "And my blowtorch and my portable miniature tool set! And these rockets, too. Probably lucky I didn't put all this stuff away before you came up."

A cacophony of screwing and the hissing of a blow torch and metal banging together went off directly behind her head, sounding strangely distorted as they were whisked away by the wind.

"This drone is pretty ... low quality," he continued cheerfully, as if they  _weren't_ currently plummeting to their doom. "Seems like whoever owns it just tried to get the cheapest thing they could find."

"That's not going to mess up your plan?" she asked, swallowing nervously. The ground was closer now. This wasn't going to take much longer, was it?

"Nope!" he cheerfully replied. "In fact, I'm already done."

As if on cue, the buzzing resumed, but it was louder, deeper, and more resonating than the high-pitched whine that it had been previously. The wind whipping past her face gradually weakened in intensity, and the strange feeling of weightlessness brought on by free fall slowly dissipated. The straps of the harness holding her onto Phineas began taking on weight, until they stopped falling altogether - hanging still in the air.

"Huh? Huh? Whaddaya think about  _that?_ " Phineas asked over the complaining of the drone's overtaxed engine.

"We're - we're flying!" Candace said. For someone who'd done all sorts of impossible things in the past, never had she been so thrilled over a simple flying machine.

"Well, not so much  _flying_ ," he responded. "Still falling, just falling reeeeally slowly. This thing can't actually fly under both of our weights, even with my modifications to it. Gliding, maybe."

As if in agreement, the drone immediately sputtered and belched out a small cloud of smoke, suddenly dropping straight down for like two feet, jolting the belt-harness thing.

"Now that I'm actually putting weight on this thing, it's really freaking uncomfortable," she remarked, attempting to shift herself around.

"What can I say?" he replied. "It  _is_  made out of belts. And not all that comfortable for me either - I'm the one holding you up."

"Oh, well, yeah, of course. Uhh… thanks?" She was feeling a bit embarrassed now, and resolved not to complain about  _that_  again. "So, wait… what exactly happened back there again?"

Phineas didn't respond for a moment, as they were pushed through the sky at the mercy of the breeze. She saw the house get farther and farther away from them, but decided not to complain about that either. It wasn't like they had much choice in the matter, really.

"I have no idea…" he said thoughtfully. "Wait, no, I've got one, actually. What if that was the  _Mysterious Force_?"

"The Force?" she echoed. "Why would the Force… oh."

"It's a bit of a stretch, yeah, but it could be true, right?" He readjusted his grip on the drone, shaking them back and forth in a  _really_  unsettling way. Don't think about it. They were still awfully high up in the sky, with only a flimsy leather strap holding her back. "Think about it - the Force usually takes away our inventions before Mom can see them, right? And it does that because they're abnormal - unusual right? And, I mean, you yourself said-"

"Yes, yes, yes, I get it now," she cut him off. She knew well enough exactly how…  _unconventional_  her brother's feelings for her were - and what people in general would think if they'd happened to walk in on her and Phineas just minutes ago. She could still hardly believe it herself, really.

Then another thought occurred to her. "Wait a second - if the Force is what did this, doesn't that mean that  _Mom_  almost walked in on us?" Oh, no, that was  _not_  good. She was already stretched thin enough over the idea of even  _having_  this sort of relationship with her brother. She'd known that they would have to work to keep it a secret, but hadn't realized that it would be quite so… easy to be found out. A cold fear built up inside her once again.

What if that hadn't been their mother, but their  _father_? The Force didn't activate for Lawrence, at least, it never had in the past.

"This is bad, Phineas," she started. "We almost got found out less than an  _hour_  into this thing. We can't let this happen again - what if it'd been someone the Force didn't follow around like it does Mom? We would have been found out and I don't know if - well, that would have been  _bad_. Like, really, really bad."

"It's gonna be okay," Phineas replied. "We'll just have to remember to start locking the doors, I think."

"But they could  _hear_  us," she insisted worriedly. "A bedroom door isn't very insulating. And from there it wouldn't be hard to figure it out. I mean, there's not many options to pick from, really, if you listened carefully.

"It'll be okay," he repeated. " I mean, why would they listen carefully at either of our doors anyway? And still, if it makes you more comfortable, we can go into the bathroom and run the shower, or go into the panic room and lock the trapdoor. Heck, we could go back to Mars or somewhere if you  _really_  wanted. Do the Martians still hate me and Ferb? Maybe Mars specifically isn't the best spot, but you get the idea. There's Meap's planet, or that one with the whalemingoes - we've got places to go."

She frowned. Somehow the idea of having to build a portal to a distant planet whenever they intended to kiss seemed awfully… unpleasant. And annoying.

"Don't worry," Phineas said again. "I really do love you, and as long as we don't give up, we can make it work." He paused. "I'd totally hug you right now, but I'm kinda busy hanging onto this drone for dear life, so I can't."

"That's okay," she assured him, casting a nervous glance at the cityscape below. "That can wait till we reach the ground in one piece. You hanging onto that drone is all I want right now."

The drone sputtered again, pouring out another gallon or two of inky black smoke into the sky.

"Okay," he said. "We're a lot closer to the ground now. Keep an eye out for somewhere soft to land - I'm gonna have to let go and let us fall for the last little bit. We can't trust this thing to not break our legs or something if we were to get really close to the ground."

The drone dropped like a stone for another three feet or so before catching itself again, jerking violently under the weight that it was being forced to support for such an extended amount of time. It  _kept doing that_ , and it was really freaking Candace out.

Of course, the idea of falling anymore also absolutely terrified her, but even she could see he was right. The drone's little motor was already suffering from being forced to run overclocked this long. It seemed counterproductive, but as long they could find somewhere that was even slightly softer than concrete and dirt, it'd probably end up being better to just tuck and roll and hope they didn't get banged up too badly.

By now the wind had pushed the drone far away from the house, and they were drifting through the air over a rather abandoned road winding between a sea of trees on either side. The drone continued spluttering overhead, sinking lower and lower.

"Look over there!" she pointed. There was a pickup truck stopped on the side of the road, with a man and a woman standing next to it - looking as if they were fighting with each other over something. But that wasn't what she was pointing out. It was what was  _in_  the truck bed that caught her eye.

Pillows! At least, they looked like pillows from up here. Those would definitely be more pleasant to fall onto than a tree canopy or the cement road surface. Why would there be pillows in the back of a truck like that? She had no idea - but that was okay with her.

"I see it too," Phineas agreed. "It's perfect! You ready?"

"Yeah."

Well, it was now or never. And if the drone did one of those drops close to the ground - no, this was the best option. She braced herself for the drop as they drifted closer. The voices of the two people next to the truck at last became audible over the buzzing of the drone's propellers.

"I can't  _believe_  you would buy an entire spare tire kit online without checking to see if it would come with instructions! What, do you think a mechanic is just going to fall out of the sky?"

"It's time to drop!" Phineas said. "This is about as close as we're gonna get. Close your teeth firmly - don't bite your tongue. And tuck your head down. I'm letting go in three - two -  _now_."

For a brief moment, the sensation of falling, of air rushing past her, of plunging endlessly through the sky was back. If they did survive this, she was going to  _kill_  her brother for dropping before reaching the end of the count.

Then, it was over. They hit the pile of plastic in the back of the truck, which squished under their weight, breaking the force of the fall. Wait - plastic? Weren't these pillows?

The strange smell of many types of old foods mixed together assaulted her nose, and she pushed herself up. Trying to stand up while strapped to Phineas by the makeshift tandem-skydiving-harness thing was exceedingly difficult, almost leading to falling back down again, several times, and she had to stand in an awkward 'bent-over-backwards' sort of way, but it was definitely preferable to lying face-down in the pile of… oh, were these  _trash bags_?

Yuck. She wrinkled her nose at the stench wafting from the garbage. Well, garbage or no, at least it had been enough to make sure they came away mostly unscathed.

"Oh, look!" The woman exclaimed sarcastically, throwing her arms up in the air. "So I guess you two are the mechanics, then?"

"Uh…" Phineas said. "Well, in a manner of speaking, yes, yes, we are. Why do you ask?" Candace heard him fiddling with the belt buckles, which were both positioned where she couldn't reach them, and a moment both straps came loose and she was able to stand up straight again.

The woman just scowled angrily and climbed into the truck cab, slamming the door in a huff.

Candace straightened thankfully. They were alive! Far from home, and standing the back of a pickup truck filled with garbage bags - but  _alive_ , and unhurt. No broken bones, no sprains - at least none as far as she could tell. Up above, freed of its burden, the drone shot off into the sky, suddenly bursting into flames and spontaneously detonating in mid air, sending pieces of metal and plastic flying off in every direction.

"Wow," Phineas said, staring up the small gray cloud hanging in the air - the only remaining remnant of the drone that had saved their lives. "It's a good thing we got down before it did that."

"Whoa, hang on," she asked. " _Before it did that_? You're telling me that was bound to happen?"

Phineas shrugged, starting to climb out of the back of the truck. "I mean, I overclocked that itty bitty engine to the point where it carried over two hundred pounds for at least fifteen minutes. It was doomed from the start - really just a matter of time. But we got lucky."

She blinked, unable to comprehend how perfectly calm he was being over this. If that explosion had happened when they were still hanging off of it, well, it was unlikely they'd be able to find something else to catch onto. Not to mention Phineas had been hanging onto it both hands, supporting their weight. If it'd combusted in his hands - maybe it really _was_  best if she just didn't think about it.

"So," Phineas said to the man, who was still standing calmly next to his truck and generally acting as if things randomly falling out of the sky was an everyday occurrence. "You guys need a mechanic? Well, you're in luck! My sister and I have got you covered. Whatcha need?"

"Well," the man replied. "I bought this spare tire kit online, but it didn't come with directions. I've never been really great with this sort of stuff - which is weird, considering I  _am_  a farmer, but that's the way it is." He stopped and squinted at Candace. "Say, don't I recognize you?"

"What?" she asked, following her brother's example and clambering down out of the truck bed. "I don't know, really. Do you?"

The man shrugged. "I seem to remember you from a few years ago - at a museum - there was an accident of some sort. Lots of blood. And an ambulance. But maybe I'm mistaken."

Phineas glanced back and forth between her and the man.

She shrugged in turn. "I don't really remember anything, sorry. Though if there was a 'lot of blood', I guess I wouldn't remember anyway?"

"It doesn't really matter either way, I guess," the man decided, scratching the back of his neck. "Can you two kids really change our tire? Aren't you a bit young for this sort of thing?"

"Yes, yes we are," Phineas agreed. "But that's never stopped us before. Let's see that spare kit and we'll get you on your way as soon as we can."

"Fair enough."

Phineas turned to her. "C'mon, Candace. Looks like we're not completely done today."

For the next handful of minutes, she and her brother worked diligently on the tire. It proved to be somewhat more difficult than she could have reasonably expected, especially considering what they had just done this earlier this afternoon. For some reason, the simple combination of screws and the manual air pump proved a lot more stubborn than the rocket engines they'd used to literally blot out the sun.

One way or another, however it eventually got done, and the truck was once again ready to move. As thanks for falling out of the sky at such a convenient time - which Candace thought was a little ironic, because, again, it wasn't like they'd had much choice in the matter - the farmer and his wife agreed to let them ride with them until they reached the nearest bus stop.

From there, they parted ways, and Candace sat on the bench with her brother waiting for the bus to show up. Without her phone, there was no way to check the time precisely, but the buses in Tri-State Area ran every twenty minutes, so the wait wouldn't be that long anyway.

"The one time I don't have my phone on me," she complained, rolling her eyes. "We literally get ripped out of the house and thrown across the city by the universe itself. I have the best luck, don't I?"

Phineas shrugged. "Look on the bright side - now we know exactly how careful we need to be when we do these things. Gotta lock the doors." He smiled at her. "It may have taken a near-death experience, but I  _can_  learn."

She shuddered slightly, still imagining what kind of fallout would have occurred had it not been the one person in the universe protected from seeing the abnormal by the Force. If it had been literally  _any other person_ , with the exception of Ferb, perhaps, then things would… have not gone well. She didn't even  _want_  to think about what would have come of that. Phineas may not have fully grasped the seriousness of what they'd narrowly avoided, but she certainly did - and it was distinctly unnerving.

For a moment, the thoughts of breaking it off with her brother resurfaced. It was just so risky - how could she take the chance? But as they sat there on the hard metal bench, waiting for the bus to come and take them home, Phineas scooted close and put his arm around her.

He did nothing more - they were in too much of an exposed location for that - but even that simple gesture made the worries over this situation seem to temporarily lessen in intensity. This… thing that he had for her - that she guessed they had? - it'd probably be messy and would certainly be an incredible pain to keep hidden. But she could try, at least for now. After all, despite all that had happened, no harm had been done -  _yet_.

Maybe later, when her brother wasn't so close by, she'd be less inclined to be so calm over things. But for this moment, at least, everything was alright. She couldn't say whether the next moment would be the same, and worry still lurked in the back of her mind, but she did her best to avoid it anyway.

Besides, she couldn't let Phineas see what she was worrying over. He probably had enough stuff to deal with on his own with the whole Isabella situation. She'd just have to deal with  _this_  by herself.

* * *

The air conditioning unit hidden behind the hall closet door was the only thing breaking the silence of the living room as Ferb sat on the couch, reading a book. Occasionally the rustling of paper as he turned a page would join the the humming of the air conditioner in keeping perfect silence at bay.

At least, he was  _trying_  to read the book. It was now almost five-thirty in the afternoon, very nearly two hours after Candace had followed Phineas up the stairs - and he'd heard nothing from or even seen either of them since.

Okay, so part of it could possibly be explained by the story he'd gotten from his brother last night before bed. Phineas had burst into the bedroom with an expression so bright that Ferb was positive that it'd outshined the light bulbs on the roof. What he'd heard after was so all over the place and incoherent that it had taken him a good few minutes to get any meaning out of it.

And even that hadn't made it all clear - Phineas was just deliriously happy, to the point were it pretty much useless trying to get a clear story out of him. But enough had made it through - to the point where Ferb had understood the basic gist of what had gone on.

As he'd said he would do, Phineas had indeed confessed his crush to their sister. And apparently, after some discussion - which Ferb was sure was the understatement of the year - Candace had agreed to go along with it. And then, most surprising of all, they'd kissed.

Ferb's strongest reaction was one of surprise. It seemed he'd either underestimated his sister's feelings for their brother, or possibly overestimated what her reaction to the confession would have been. And the chance that he'd get a straight answer to that out of Phineas last night had been basically nil. If he really wanted to know, he'd probably have to go to Candace anyway.

Which, at first, he'd wanted to do - if only to satisfy his curiosity on the matter. And, yeah, you might say he was being a bit nosy into something that wasn't his business. But no one could deny how strange the whole matter was - plus, was it  _really_  not his business? After all, his sister had just had a breakup, and his brother had never even been in a relationship of this sort before. It was perfectly natural for him to be worried about the both of them. And the fact that said relationship seemed like it was going to be with each other didn't change that, did it?

Whether justified or no, he'd still tried to ask her this morning, when he was returning her phone that she'd apparently dropped on the living room floor and lost. But when he'd knocked on her door, he'd been treated to a long rant on how whatever Phineas had told him last night was 'untrue - at least to some extent'.

Candace's rant had been almost as unintelligible as had Phineas' attempts to tell him the story. But Ferb had still come away with the impression that their sister wasn't nearly as comfortable with the idea as Phineas was.

Even despite that, however, the day had proceeded mostly as normal - until the time for pie had rolled around. Phineas had gone upstairs for a second to put away his toolbox, and a few moments after, Candace had followed him.

Ferb wondered if she was going to break off whatever had happened last night. At first, he'd waited patiently for them to return, but as more and more and ticked by, he at last decided that something else was up.

He'd gone upstairs and found the door of his and Phineas' bedroom firmly shut, a clear enough sign that  _whatever_  was going behind the door, its participants did not wish to be disturbed. Which was fair enough.

Which was how he'd ended up eating pie by himself - for the first time in, well, as long as he could remember. He would have been lying if he said that he wasn't at least a  _little_  unsettled by what might be happening in his bedroom, but if it made his brother and sister happy, then he supposed he could deal.

Still, by now it was bordering on crazy. Linda had come home from the grocery store like an hour and a half ago, and even  _that_  hadn't prompted his siblings to come downstairs.

He was a bit surprised that his mother hadn't thought to ask where either of them had gone, but maybe it was for the better anyway.

Two and a half hours! What could they possibly be doing up there? It was enough of a conundrum to prevent him from being able to fully occupy himself with the book in his lap, and what kept him glancing at the stairs every now and then out of the corner of his eye.

He'd just about decided to go up there again and see for himself what was going on when the doorbell rang.

"Can you get that, Ferb?" Linda called from her bedroom. "I'm busy with laundry right now."

He didn't mind - although it was likely to be nothing more than a minor distraction - he needed something to do to occupy his mind, and his book just wasn't cutting it. Leaving the book behind on the table, he got up off the couch and walked through the house to the front door. When he swung it open, he was in for a surprise and a half.

"Hey, Ferb!" Phineas exclaimed, bounding inside, followed by Candace.

Wait, what? How…? Ferb blinked in surprise. What exactly was going on here? He gestured up in the general direction of his and Phineas' bedroom.

"Yeah," Phineas agreed. "We were in there. But then we weren't, and we had to take the bus home. We think it was the Mysterious Force."

_The Force?_  Ferb thought.  _But the Force doesn't randomly move things. Well, it does, but only things that would be shockingly abnormal to Mom. It moves_ those _things, to make sure she never lays eyes on them. But what would be weird about her own two chil- oh._

Yes, that would make sense. After all, if Phineas' story was to believed, then he and Candace were at least partially boyfriend and girlfriend now - which sounded weird even in Ferb's own head. With that fact in mind, however, it wasn't too hard at all to think of  _many_  things they could do that would successfully be shocking enough to trigger the Force.

"Heh, yeah," Candace said, her face reddening. "It, uh, could have been worse, I guess? I suppose it doesn't really leave much to the imagination. Just, uh, don't think too much about it, okay? On second thought, don't think about it all."

Ferb nodded slightly. She didn't have to worry - that particular facet of his siblings' unsiblinglike relationship was not one he intended to think about very hard anyway. He would support them, if it made them happy, but that didn't mean he had to think about the sorts of things would naturally follow such a relationship anyway.

Being  _perfectly_  at ease with those things was something that he would only be able to reach with time - and if this thing worked out for them, he did intend to reach that point eventually, but it would certainly take more than two days.

He stepped aside and followed his siblings through the house, eventually coming to a stop in the living room.

"I think I'm gonna go shower," Candace said, "I've felt nasty ever since we landed in all that trash - I don't wanna sit down on  _anything_."

Ferb blinked, but didn't even bother trying to interpret the comment without context. When the Force was involved in things, literally anything was possible.

"True," Phineas agreed. "That  _was_  pretty gross. But even farmers have to get their trash to the landfill somehow - and if they live too far out for the municipal garbage trucks to reach, I guess they have to take it themselves." He shrugged. "You can go first, if you want."

Well, that certainly didn't help discern the context any. Ferb knew he'd probably have to wait for Phineas to explain it to him to have any chance of that. Such was the way of all things touched by the Force.

Phineas reached out and hugged Candace, smiling. For a moment, his siblings stared into each other's eyes in a way that made Ferb feel as if they'd completely forgotten he was even standing there.

But then Candace turned to look at him, her face reddening slightly again. "Ferb…?" she asked sheepishly.

He blinked, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Oh, alright, then. He had just gone on about being supportive. Without giving a response, he reached out to the coffee table and shoved his book off onto the floor. Then bent down to pick it up again, averting his eyes to the floor as he did so.

For a few moments, he heard nothing, then Candace hastily left the room, disappearing up the stairs. Ferb straightened, putting the book back on the table.

Phineas was grinning widely again. "Thanks, Ferb. Candace, she's… a bit nervous about being found out, I think. But I tell her it's nothing to worry about. I mean, I'm pretty sure we can do it. I'm definitely gonna try, for sure - and we have the museum time machine if worst comes to worst, right?"

Ferb shrugged. He could certainly understand Candace's nervousness. And while he had no doubt Phineas' would try his best to keep the secret, that still wasn't a terribly strong reassurance, given his brother's general temperament.

And time travel? Traveling into the recent past was incredibly dangerous. In general, the rule was however dangerous you thought it might be, it was roughly thrice as dangerous as that. Would it be worth the risk if his siblings were found out? He kind of doubted it, but nonetheless decided to not completely rule it out, should circumstance require it.

"Don't worry," Phineas said, sitting down on the living room floor. "I know how risky something like would be. There's a reason that I haven't gone back to give my past self advice on talking to Candace, you know. That'd just be  _asking_  to break the universe. Plus,  _I_  managed fine - I think - so I'm sure my past self can handle it for himself too."

Ferb nodded. He knew that - and he trusted his brother fully and completely on that matter as well.

Linda Flynn-Fletcher walked through the living room, heading for the kitchen. "Oh, there you are, Phineas," she said. "Thought I missed you earlier."

"Hey, Mom!" he returned brightly. "I'm home now."

When their mother had vanished into the kitchen, Phineas turned back to Ferb, raising his eyebrows slightly. "I didn't realize Mom was home. I mean, I guess I should have, given that she's the only one who can set off the Force, but it totally slipped my mind."

Actually, it'd slipped Ferb's mind too. He wasn't used to the notion of having to wait till certain people weren't around to hold a conversation - especially when that 'certain people' included pretty much everyone on the face of the earth except his brother and sister. He pointed up the stairs.

Phineas nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Boy, do I have a lot to tell you too."

They walked up the stairs and through the hall, turning into their bedroom. Phineas almost sat down on his bed, but stopped himself short, and sat on the floor instead.

Ferb sat on his own bed, turning to his brother with a questioning gaze. There was a lot he wanted to know, really. It was just a question of how much he should ask and how much wasn't his business.

"It's great, Ferb," Phineas said. "I know it's only been like a day and a half so far, but I'm telling you - this is  _amazing_." He paused for a second. "I could have done without the whole 'almost dying' part, but it all worked out in the end, I guess."

Ferb raised his eyebrows at that. Although they were not unfamiliar with danger by any means - there'll always be at least  _some_  element of risk when you tamper with the laws of nature - that didn't mean they didn't normally take every reasonable precaution to reduce the chance of something going horribly awry.

"Oh, yeah, it got a bit crazy for a while," Phineas continued. "The Force apparently decided that the best way to get rid of us would be to just throw us up into the sky. So it did. Luckily, I remember how to track and stuff from that day we went skydiving last month. And there was a drone - I was able to snatch it up and use my pocket tool kit to overclock its motor so that it was able to pump out enough lift to save us." He shuddered slightly. "It was a bit scary, you know, because it could've burst into flames or exploded at any time with Candace's and my weight on it… I mean, by the time we were hanging on it, Candace might've been okay - if she got lucky and fell into a tree or something, and didn't immediately hit the ground. I was  _hanging onto the drone_ , though. That… could have gone poorly."

For a moment Phineas was silent, grimacing slightly. Then he shook his and shot Ferb a smile.

"But that didn't happen, so it's all good. All's well that ends well, after all."

Ferb blinked, surprised yet not surprised at his brother's dismissal of what had apparently been a very dangerous situation. And Phineas was right, he supposed. Nothing bad had happened - and both his siblings were safe. Well, if that was case, there wasn't anything to be gained in stressing over what had happened. Of course, he could still worry about what might  _next time_  if Phineas and Candace got scooped up in the Force again - but that could be avoided by them simply not letting their mother see them doing anything particularly abnormal.

Which they would have to make  _very_  sure they did. They'd gotten lucky once, but it couldn't be guaranteed to happen again - which was why there could be no 'again'.

"I know, I know," Phineas agreed, nodding. "Candace and I already talked about this on the way home. Really, I think just remembering to lock our doors would be enough, but we've got, like, the panic room and stuff too." He smiled. "Once we get in the habit of doing it, it'll be fine."

Yes, Ferb thought. Once they got in the habit - which would be the hard part. Well, if his brother and sister were actually determined to do this thing, he had no doubt that it would get done, in one way or another. And he'd been sure ever since last night that Phineas was determined. Whether Candace was as well… he still wasn't quite as sure. Based on what he'd seen so far this afternoon, it did seem promising, though the rant this morning had not been a particularly good omen.

Then again, considering all that had gone on since this morning, it wasn't so unlikely that a lot had changed since then. Really, the only person he could ask about this was Candace herself. Phineas was simply… too excited for his half of things right now.

Ferb couldn't resist smiling slightly at his brother. He  _was_  excited, overjoyed even. Though Phineas was pretty much always in a good mood, there was a difference, no matter how slight, in his behavior now as opposed to normally. Which was to be expected, considering that his brother was now in love. With his sister, but Phineas was entirely unbothered by that fact.

It was this sort of thing that made Ferb feel more comfortable with his sibling's brand-new relationship - because, really, he would have done anything to make his brother and sister happy. And if they were happy together, then who was he to stand in the way?

But an oddly serious look crossed his brother's face just then, and he suddenly appeared to be lost in thought.

"There is one thing that bothers me, though," Phineas said. "I - well, I'm super glad that I told Candace how I feel. So far, it's worked out… and better than I could have ever guessed." A wide grin crossed his face for a moment, before returning to the serious expression of before. "I just wish I could've done it without having to find out about - about Isabella." He sighed slightly. "Not that I'm upset I found out, no, I should have known a long time ago. It's just…"

He paused for another moment or two, staring off into the space. "Well, Isabella was my friend. I don't know if I was hers or not, and I… strongly dislike the idea of not knowing that - but I still, well, I guess I worry about her. I don't want this thing to come between us. I mean, it has already, but I really want to sort of clear the air, you know? I haven't even talked with Isabella about her crush yet, and she does deserve to know I know. Plus, maybe the fact that I know will encourage her to be more… supportive, or something. I really just don't like having this thing unsaid between us. She kept her half of it a secret for so long, and I don't like that all, but if I hide from her the fact that _I_ know for too much longer, I won't be able to say anything about it."

Ferb blinked, not completely sure where his brother was going with this, but a pretty good idea of it was developing in his brain.

Phineas glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. "It's almost six o'clock. Well, I guess I shouldn't really go over there  _tonight_ , then. I don't know how long this sort of thing is gonna take. Plus, she might not really be… open to the idea of discussing it with her parents at home. Huh." He reached up and ran his hand through his hair. "I guess can go over first thing tomorrow morning, before we do tomorrow's project. That way, if things go smoothly enough, she might even come over. What do you think?"

Ferb reached up and ran his hand through his own hair. Well, it was a fair enough idea for his brother to come up with, but he was somewhat hesitant about it nonetheless. Isabella would most likely be furious at him for breaking the news to Phineas after so long. Not that he regretted telling his brother, but it was still something to be considered.

He groaned a little internally, not at all looking forward to having to deal with that, whenever it eventually came back to bite him. Isabella was clearly in the wrong in this situation, but that would probably not be a great help when it came down to it.

Gesturing off in the general direction of the house across the street, Ferb pointed back at himself. Considering the… delicate nature of this situation, it wouldn't be a bad idea if he accompanied his brother across the street come morning. Isabella might well still have some harsh words left over, but Ferb doubted she'd use them if he and Phineas were together.

But Phineas shook his head. "No, thanks, but I don't that's a good idea." He cast an apologetic look. "I mean, I'd love to have Candace or you with me… but I get the feeling that would not go well. It's okay, really. This  _is_  between me and her, after all. And I intend to take care of it."

"Phineas!" Candace's voice came from the hallway. "I'm done!"

Phineas stood back up from the floor. "Thanks!" he called back.

"So tomorrow morning it is, then?" he asked, though Ferb got the distinct impression that the question was more rhetorical than anything. "Tomorrow morning," he repeated. "I'll patch things up with Isabella and, well, we'll see how it goes from there."

Ferb blinked and smiled, though at heart he was fairly sure that it wouldn't be quite so simple as 'patching things up'. But you never knew.

After all, his siblings had gotten lucky once today. Maybe it wasn't quite so crazy to hope they'd get similarly lucky tomorrow.

And if everyone kept getting lucky, then maybe everything would work out alright after all.

...yeah, that wasn't going to happen, was it?


	19. The Flying Car of the Future, Today

Today could possibly be the best day ever.

Phineas beat the alarm clock by a whole fifteen minutes that morning. Rise and shine! It was time to get up and seize the day. These past two days had been a wild adventure - culminating in Candace agreeing to go out with him, to be his  _girlfriend_  - which he'd since realized was the correct name. It was the best thing ever - after his and Ferb's discussions on the matter, he hadn't at all expected this level of success.

Summer was always great, but this one was shaping up to be the best one yet. His sister had agreed to be his girlfriend! What was not to love?

Well, there was one thing that still bothered him: Isabella. For the past day and a half he'd neither seen nor heard from her, and after what Ferb had told him, it made sense, in a weird sort of way. So he was determined to set it right. What Isabella had done had been… unpleasant, but he was ready to forget about it. After all, the only person she'd hurt with her actions was him, really, and with the glow of his new relationship with Candace still warm inside him, he could hardly even register that anymore.

So today was the day, then - the day he rebuilt the bridge that been burnt - or possibly put up a bridge from scratch. Either way -  _he'd_  thought she was his friend, and really, surely at  _some_ level she was his friend too? After all, how could you crush on someone who wasn't also your friend - or at least someone who  _could be_  your friend? That was the way he looked at his love for Candace. She'd always been his sister, and his friend - best friend, even. He wasn't quite sure where the line was between being those things and falling in love, but he was sure he had crossed it.

He had plenty of friends - great friends, friends that he'd trust with his life without a moment's hesitation. But that could not have been more different from the way he felt about Candace - from the way he loved her. _That_  was a one-of-a-kind thing, and was aimed unerringly at one person.

Climbing out of bed and getting dressed, while taking care to not disturb Ferb, he slipped out the bedroom door and headed downstairs. His brother and sister would be up soon - but he was intent on getting a head start on this particular day.

Working quickly in the silent kitchen, he retrieved three scoops from the drawer and three bowls from the cabinet, poured cereal in each and milk in one. That one would be his.

About halfway through the meal, Ferb came downstairs, nodding silently in greeting as he sat down to eat.

"Good morning!" Phineas returned. "How're you?"

Ferb smiled and gave a thumbs up. All was well, then? Perfect.

"Glad to hear it," he continued. "Got any ideas for today?" Whatever they did today, it should be cool. Maybe something to do with… hmm.

He stirred the milk around in his bowl. Maybe they could build a bridge - just like he was going to try to do, except in a slightly more literal manner. A bridge from here to... England, maybe, so they could visit their grandparents on their father's side? A four thousand mile long bridge over half a continent and an ocean, connecting two separate tectonic plates? Yeah, that would be pretty cool. He'd have to bring it up later this morning.

Unless his planned trip to Isabella's took longer than he expected - in which case Candace and Ferb would most likely come up with an idea on their own. Either way, this bridge idea was cool. He mentally filed it away for safekeeping, determining that one day they'd get around to it, whether today or some other day.

Just as he was scraping the last bit of cereal from his bowl, that third step from the bottom of the staircase squealed loudly, letting them know that someone was coming down.

He perked up at the sound. There was only one person  _that_  could be.

"Hey, Candace!" he said. How're _you_?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ferb look up curiously.

"Oh, hey, Phineas," she replied, stretching and yawning. "Good morning - and Ferb. Good morning to you too."

Ferb smiled and nodded, returning to his cereal. The smile seemed to be directed less at Candace and more at himself, as if he was amused about something.

_What would that be?_  Phineas fleetingly wondered, before deciding that he would just ask about it later.

"Here you go," he said, pushing the bowl and carton of milk across the table to his sister.

"Thanks." She sat down and poured in the milk. "So… I guess you're still planning something for us to do today?"

Phineas smiled. "Yes, well, I'd assume so. I've got something to do first, though."

"Oh?" Candace raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah…" he pushed back his chair and stood up, putting his bowl in the dishwasher. "For past two days I've been generally unsatisfied with the way Isabella and I last, uh, parted ways. She was - I thought she was my friend for so long, it just doesn't feel right. And since everything else about these past days has been so… awesome," He paused to smile broadly at no one in particular. "I figured that I should try to set it straight."

Candace reddened slightly, but she shook her head and it disappeared. "Why should _you_  go over there?" she asked. "In my opinion,  _she_  should come to  _you._  She's the one who's wrong, after all."

Phineas frowned slightly. That was true, of course, and that would have been nice too. But he simply couldn't feel entirely at ease with this thing floating between him and Isabella anymore. And the best way to take care of it would simply to be proactive. She'd had all of yesterday to make a move - and had not. It was his turn now, and he intended to take full advantage of that fact.

He had a lot to talk with her about - to let her know he knew about her secret, and consequently how he  _felt_  about it. Maybe then he could bring up his and Candace's relationship again - and this time hopefully get at least a  _neutral_ response from her.

He wasn't even sure why he wanted a response from her on his relationship anyway. It wasn't like anything she could say could dissuade him from his feelings. But somehow it would just feel _better_ to know that she at least wasn't  _directly opposed_  to it. She'd been his friend for so long, he was just used to considering her opinion on things.

It almost felt strange to have an issue about which he felt so strongly that he was sure nothing could push him away from it. But if he'd ever had one - this was it.

"You're right," he admitted aloud. "But I've got to do this. If I can smooth things over with her it would make these past days just about perfect. It's been two days now - and that's two days too long to have unfinished business hanging around. So, I'm gonna go over and fix it - or at least try."

Candace shrugged, but there was a slight hint of concern on her face. "Okay, I guess. If your heart's set on it. You, uh, you want me to come with you? You know, in case she decides to get all up in our, ah,  _your_  business?"

His eyes lit up for a moment. Nothing would have made him happier than to have Candace at his side. It was how he wanted his life at large to play out: with his sister right there next to him. But something about this  _specific_  situation told him that might not be such a good idea. He was, after all, heading over to discuss Isabella's apparent lifelong crush on him. To show up with his sis- _girlfriend_  (he was still getting used to that word) with him would probably put a damper on any chance of conversation before it even started.

Especially considering what Isabella'd said about his love for his sister last time anyway. While he couldn't be sure how much of that was her upset over the shattering of a long-term misconception and how much was her genuine reaction to it, it still made a good argument to go over alone.

He was glad Candace hadn't heard what she'd said the first time, and there was a chance that she would react the same way when confronted again.

"Thanks," he said at last, "but sadly, no thanks. I've got to do this myself - not that I wouldn't want you to come with me, but this is a… well, it's between her and me." He flashed his sister a smile. "Thanks though. It means a lot."

And it did.

Candace frowned again. "Well, okay, I guess. Don't let her make you feel bad for this mess, though, you hear?"

Phineas nodded solemnly. No, she didn't have to worry about that. How could he feel guilty about this? Especially considering what they had now - no, it just wasn't possible. He could feel bad  _for_  Isabella, because he couldn't imagine what it would have been like had Candace rejected his crush in the way he'd rejected hers. Even he could realize that would have  _really_  sucked. That thought was encouraging, in a strange way. It certainly made it more likely that Isabella's reaction was not fully genuine - but had been influenced by his unknowing rejection of her crush.

Still, he wasn't going to regret that rejection - because he didn't love Isabella. He loved his sister. And, what was more, his sister loved him. She hadn't directly said so - but she'd agreed to be his girlfriend. And they'd hugged and they'd kissed and that had to be proof enough, right? It was good enough for him.

"Well, on that particular note, I'd better be heading off," he remarked. "Wish me luck! I'll see you guys later - can't say how  _much_  later, but it shouldn't be  _that_  long, right?" He paused. "Doesn't matter - I've got to do this. If I'm too late, don't feel bad about starting the project without me. I'll catch up with you later."

He stopped briefly in the upstairs bathroom to brush his teeth, pulled on his shoes, and was off. The walk across the street was short and pleasant enough. It was only a minute or so before he'd made it across and up to Isabella's front door.

Shifting back and forth on his feet, he reached out and rang the doorbell. He could hear it echoing through the house. A few minutes of silence passed as he waited. At last, however, the deadbolt clicked and turned, and the door swung inwards.

"Hey, Ginger," Isabella said, "I - oh." She stopped awkwardly as she saw him. " _Oh_. Hi, Phineas."

"Expecting someone else?" he asked, smiling slightly. Was this really the girl who'd apparently harbored a crush on him for years? He tried to recall some sort of memory that would seem to indicate she indeed had. Try as he might, however, none would come to mind - and he was reminded of  _why_  exactly he'd been so upset by the idea that she did and had expected  _him_  to act on it - to return it, when he didn't know it was even a thing.

He tried to imagine kissing her, in the same way he'd kissed his sister, but that idea… no, _that_  would feel wrong. Isabella was his friend - at least, so he'd thought - but there was nothing more. Still, she  _had_  acted as his best friend for those years, and he wanted his friend back. Hopefully she could see it that way too. "Sorry, it's just me. I, uh, wanted to talk to you."

Her eyes lit up up, but her tone remained low and cool. "About what?"

Phineas glanced behind him and up in the sky, hunting for the constantly-listening surveillance drones that were surely somewhere up there, thanks to Irving. The action was purely out of habit, but it suddenly triggered a rather disturbing realization. Irving had been compromising the Flynn-Fletcher house's privacy for as long as Phineas could remember. And it'd never really been a problem - annoying at times, sure, but as long as he kept his cameras where they wouldn't get in the way, Phineas couldn't  _really_  say he minded. Though some of the things Irving collected were a bit on the unsettling side, they'd all gotten used to it at this point. And it had never been important before now, either.

But now, Phineas realized, it _was_  important. Because there was a very good chance Irving would eventually pick up him and his sister on tape… and there was no telling how he would react to footage like that. And Candace already got so nervous about being found out. This certainly wouldn't do anything to ease her worries.

He'd have act proactively to avert such a situation from developing. Convincing Irving to take down all the cameras and recorders would probably not happen. So the only other option would be to come clean - at least ensuring that Irving wouldn't be  _too_  shocked when he inevitably got some sort of incriminating tape.

Or course, that would necessitate  _telling_  Irving - the whole truth. Which Candace probably wouldn't like, but it had to be done. With the amount of surveillance he conducted, nothing could remain a secret from him for too long. Phineas only hoped his sister would see it the same way.

"Can I come in?" he asked. "It's, well, it's not the sort of thing I want people to overhear, if you know what I mean."

Isabella's eyes narrowed slightly. "Is this about your… sister?"

"Well, yes," he replied, " - and no. Partly. It's also about - well, do you mind if I just come in?" He didn't want to give her the wrong impression of what mission he'd come over here for.

Isabella glanced behind him, looking up and down the street. "I sort of do, yeah," she said flatly.

Phineas frowned. That… hadn't been the response he was expecting. Well, okay then. Just because they couldn't discuss Candace out here didn't mean they couldn't discuss the other reason he'd come over - probably the main reason, really. If he could persuade her to accept him and Candace, that'd be great, but even if he couldn't, he'd be plenty satisfied just having this whole 'lifelong crush' thing over and done with.

"Okay then," he began. "Isabella, look…" he paused for a just a second. "Okay, I have no idea how to bring this up gently. So I won't bother. Isabella, I know you had - have? had? I don't know - a crush on me."

Even just saying it to her face sounded strange. A crush? Isabella? But he'd already been over this. Ferb had told him so, and therefore it must be true.

The look on her face was a sight to see. Many conflicting emotions flashed across her features in quick succession, one after the other, giving her a distinctly shell-shocked impression.

For a moment she stood there, silently staring back. "What?!" she suddenly exclaimed. "You - wh - I -  _who told_?"

Something about the question rubbed him in the wrong direction. So she  _knew_  that he wouldn't be able to figure it out… and  _still_  got mad at him about it? How did that make any sense at all?

He opened his mouth to reply, but then realized that that might not be such a good idea either - especially not before he knew how she was going to react. He definitely didn't want to drag his brother or his sister down into this unless it was absolutely necessary.

"What're you talking about?" he asked, chuckling nervously and scratching an itch behind his ear. "I just saw it. It was obvious from the way you, ah, the way you…" his voice trailed away as he did his best to come up with  _something_  from the recent past that might have indicated her crush.

Well, what had Candace done when she was still with Jeremy? Talked about him a lot? Yes, she had done that. Even after they'd broken up, she'd still rambled on at length about him - to the point where Phineas was fairly sure he'd be able to write the boy's autobiography for him.

Did Isabella talk about  _him_  that much? He didn't think so… but then again, Candace never talked about Jeremy  _with_  Jeremy. So it would make sense that Isabella didn't either. So what, then?

"... oh, who am I kidding?" Phineas relented. "I'm sorry, Isabella. No, I saw nothing. Either you're too subtle or I'm too unsuspecting or it's some combination of the two."

She snorted. "I can tell you right now which of those it is."

Phineas smiled slightly, letting the comment slide past. "I'm sure you could. The point is - I know now. You don't have to hide it from me anymore. And that being said, I have to ask," he paused, taking a breath. " _Why_  did you never tell me? You could've, you know, just said something."

Isabella blinked. "Why did I never say anything? I think the answer is obvious. Well, it should have been, at least. I  _love_  you, Phineas. You love me too, I know. It was always just a matter of time before you realized - or got told, I guess."

"What?" Phineas questioned, stunned. "Isabella… you were my  _friend_. I was never in love with you - why - where'd you get that impression?"

"It wasn't just an 'impression'," she replied. "I mean, come on! I know  _very_ well how blind you are about these things, but some things should just be obvious. It wouldn't be good for our relationship if I have to spell out every little thing for you. Eventually you've got to realize what's going on around you."

"But I  _did_  realize," he pointed out. "In fact, I went so far as to fall in love. Not bad for being blind, which I'll admit is mostly true, though I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt given you never made any moves of any kind. How was I supposed to know?"

"Oh, well, I'm  _sorry_ , then. I just figured that it eventually you'd get it - I mean you went so far as to call me cute to my _face_!  _Multiple times_! If that's not - I mean, I don't know how one second you can do that and the next you just forget all about me." Her voice grew more and more impassioned as she went on,

"I never forgot about you." Phineas stepped backward slightly. "I just assumed we were friends. You know, like you appeared to be for all that time."

"Phineas, you don't call your friends 'cute' multiple times to  _their face_. That's  _not_  a thing you do. Surely you realize that?"

"Okay, why do you keep bringing that up?" he echoed, confused. "Isabella, I called you cute because you  _are_. I mean, it's a scientific fact. If I remember correctly, it's exactly thirty thousand, six hundred and seventy-one units worth of cute. It's the highest naturally-occurring measurement we've found that doesn't spring directly from cutonium. But what does that have - I don't get it?"

She clenched her fists. "You  _know_  what I'm talking about. You know I'm talking the arbitrary label people stick on things or other people  _they find attractive_! Can you see what I'm getting at now? I swear, it's only because I love you so much that I can put up with this amount of infuriating-!"

"What?" Phineas was thoroughly baffled now. "Isabella, seriously? You  _really_  thought that's what I meant? Did the events of those days not at all seem to indicate that, no, I was referring to the discrete,  _objective_  measurable trait? You know… the trait that an entire  _planet's society_  is based around? That emits easily detectable radiation and can be used as a power source, or bonded with an object on a molecular level to instantly increase that object's cuteness? All those things…  _that you saw_?"

Her eyes dropped to the porch for a second. "Well… yeah, I guess so. But that was just one time! It's not my fault that you're always so wrapped up in your... silly projects that you never noticed me! I shouldn't  _have_  to go scrounging around pulling things out of context just to make sure you still care about me."

Phineas paused for a second before answering. "You never had to worry about  _that_ ," he finally said. "I always cared about you. You were always my best friend, next to Ferb and Candace. In fact, part of the reason I came over here is because I  _miss_  having you around. And I didn't know you were crushing on me and it  _hurts_  that you would not only keep that from me for all these years but then turn around and get mad at me and use  _your_  crush to condemn  _mine_  - and honestly, that's not really something I would have expected from my best friend." He shook his head. "But I don't care. We can put that behind us - because I really do miss my best friend, and I can't stand to have this thing between us."

For a minute Isabella was silent, and he thought he'd gotten through to her. Then she exploded out in a veritable waterfall of speech. "Put this  _behind us_? You expect me just to up and drop the way I've felt about you for  _eight freaking years_  because you decided that it was okay to go chasing after your  _sister_  instead? No! I don't know how you could even  _suggest_  something like that - it's the height of… of obliviousness. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised, should I? Considering after eight years of trying to get you to notice me, I kept running into the same brick wall, over and over and over and  _over_. Oh, no - this time it's a project. And that time you're preoccupied with helping your sister. And another time you're not paying attention. And sometimes you look  _straight at me_  and still just  _don't get it_! I don't know how - I just don't get it!"

"Okay…" he said slowly, a bit taken aback. "Well - surely after a while you realized that you weren't able to get through to me - why didn't you just directly speak up and say something? Wouldn't that have been better - than, you know, letting me develop an entirely wrong view of how you felt about me?"

"Don't you get it?" she repeated. "See,  _this_  is why I couldn't just 'just tell you'. Because of this, right here. Where, if you notice, I  _am_  telling you - in as few words as I know how - and you  _still_  aren't getting it! Why do you have to be so s- I  _love_  you, Phineas! And  _you_  love  _me_! We are  _meant to be_! Do you get it now?!"

"Isabella…" He chuckled nervously. "You're kinda forgetting that I  _do_  get a say in this thing, you know? I do possess the ability to make choices on my own. And I know that I go along with a lot of things you suggest, because, hey - you're my friend and I don't mind them so long as we have a good time. But this isn't like that. This is - is different. And I know I'm pretty bad at this whole 'romance' thing - trust me, I'm well aware of that - but I do know that I'm not in love with you - and that I never was."

"Wh- what?" Isabella spluttered. "No - no! You do love me! I  _know_  it! Look, I-" Phineas opened his mouth to say something, but she rushed on before he could get a word in edgewise. "I know about this weird thing with your  _sister_ , but come on! You won't reject me for your own  _sister_ , will you? No, of course you won't! You don't - you can't  _love_  her - she's your  _sister_. I - I'll bet she convinced you to go along with this  _ridiculous_  scheme just because  _she_  couldn't handle herself in a  _real_  relationship so she had to go and make up this  _crazy_  thing and take advantage of the fact that you're just too nice to say no to anyone."

Phineas' eyes widened slightly. "Excuse me?" He blinked, struggling to process her last statement. "You - you don't mean that, right?" Isabella could say what she wanted about  _him_  - but Candace wasn't even here to defend herself. And that wasn't very fair, now was it?

"Maybe!" she shot back defensively. "It's the only way I'm staying sane anymore. Because I love you, Phineas, and I know you're a sweet, caring guy who would never turn down a chance to help someone - even if that person is someone who clearly has  _no_  idea what a  _healthy_  relationship even _looks_ like. Like  _ours_ , for instance."

"I'm sorry?" Phineas echoed. "Our relationship? Isabella,  _we_ don't  _have_  a relationship like that. All this time, _I_  was like, 'Oh, she's my friend, we care about each other, but that's it - there's nothing providing an ulterior motive for her actions'. Well, apparently, there  _was_."

"Well, I'm sorry your  _sister_  has got you so twisted up that you can't see what was right  _in front_  of you! It's not  _my_  fault. Someday I might give up, you know. And what will you do _then_? Go off and commit  _incest_  with your  _sister_? Yeah, because  _that's_  a good idea. Do you have any idea how much that  _hurt_  me to hear?"

"How much it hurt  _you_?" he responded. "You never thought about what I would feel like? Just suddenly discovering that you're crushing on me?! And you've been doing it this whole time? What about our  _friendship_? Or was that just to cover for your crush? Were you ever really my friend or a part of our team? Apparently  _not_ , because you didn't trust me enough to tell me."

Isabella shrank back, but the floodgates had been breached and there was no holding back now. "Did it ever occur to you that I might even return your feelings at one time? That we might even have had that relationship you so badly want? But I guess you can't have a relationship without  _trust_. You don't need to hide it from me anymore - I know your secret now." His voice faltered, his indignation already losing steam. "I - I - I'm just gonna go."

He turned around - and walked away, leaving her dumbfounded on the porch. The bright morning sun shone down warmly, making cruel mockery of the clouds that hung over his head right about then. Was this it, then? Walking away - from his best friend for life? Was this the end of all the times they'd figured out how to seize the day? Was it all destined to end like this - with walking away?

No. No. It wasn't. It  _couldn't_  be. This… it just wasn't - it wasn't acceptable. He would go back again. And he would go back after that, if necessary. He and Isabella… had issues plaguing their friendship. Lots of them, evidently, or perhaps just one _really_ big one. But he couldn't just  _give up_  like this. It wouldn't be fair, it wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be…  _him_.

Eventually he'd get through to her - he had to. Everything had been going alright, too. He was fairly sure he  _had_   _been_  getting through, too. But then the subject of his feelings for Candace had come up again - and it had all gone downhill from there. It seemed that Isabella just couldn't get past them - for now.

He hadn't  _meant_  to go off like that. Something about what she'd said about his sister had just… he didn't quite know. Nothing before that really bothered him. She was entitled to her opinions - and he  _was_  pretty bad at this sort of thing. For some reason, though, he'd not felt so inclined to cut her slack when it came to Candace. She wasn't even here to defend herself! So he'd done it for her - and probably gone too far.

Still, even though he regretted  _how_  he'd said those things, he couldn't quite feel guilty for saying them in the first place. It was probably for the best, right? That really was how he felt. The look on Isabella's face when he walked away, though… he hoped he hadn't accidentally ruined anything for good.

So much for the best day ever.

The front door of the Flynn-Fletcher house clicked behind him as he stepped inside.

After having just ditched his progress in reconciling with his friend over coming to Candace's defense, he really wanted to see Candace right about now. He knew that it had been the right choice, and he would have probably done it again if given a do-over, but still. Plus, it wasn't the  _entire_  reason he wanted to see her. After all, he was in love with her. Didn't that mean that he was  _supposed_  to want to be with her?

Walking quickly through the house, he pulled back the sliding glass door and stepped outside again, immediately greeted by the sound of power tools and construction equipment. In the very center of the yard, an enormous tower shot up sharply, looming far over the house. Bare steel made up the sides and base, and numerous guy-wires stretched from the top of the tower down to the ground, anchoring it in place.

There was a small set of doors at the tower's base, and he walked across the grass towards them, becoming more and more curious about what this was for. It was the brainchild of his brother and sister - so it would definitely be cool, but he couldn't quite tell what it was from this vantage point.

The doors opened up into a small elevator. With a press of the 'up' button, they slid shut and it began sliding smoothly up the tower. Phineas watched through the glass side of the elevator as the ground grew farther and farther away. With a small 'bing', the doors opened again, onto a small platform suspended high in the sky, mounted on the very tip top of the tower.

The wind up so high whistled with surprising intensity. Just a few feet away from the door, Candace and Ferb were busily tinkering away at - was that Mom's car? What were they doing to it?

"Hey, guys," he called, stepping forwards. "Whatcha doin'?"

Whoa. He hadn't even meant to say that - and yet he was suddenly reminded of Isabella. He briefly wondered if that too, had sprung from her crush on him instead of any actual interest in what they were doing, but decided not to think about it any more today.

Candace and Ferb heard him and looked up from their project.

"Hey, Phineas," Candace said aloud, while Ferb waved. "We're building a flying car of the future, only today. It's…" she paused. "... actually kind of deja-vu-ish, for some reason." She shook her head for a second, and a worried look crossed her face. "How'd it go with you? Did Isabella - does she - what about -  _you know_?"

He frowned slightly. "No, it, uh, it didn't go well, if that's what you're asking. She… she - I don't know, exactly. She still thinks I should love  _her_ , and I don't know how to make her see that I really don't. It's not like I'm being mean either - I just don't love her. Is that mean? And she - well, I get the impression that she doesn't really approve of - of  _us_." It was the first time he'd ever referred to himself and his sister's relationship collectively, and despite the grim context, something about it still sent a thrill through him.

Candace must have noticed too, because she blushed slightly, and opened her mouth, but then shut it without saying anything. An awkward moment of silence passed between the three of them before she finally did speak. "Oh."

"Yeah…" he replied, hesitating, a bit unsure of where to take the conversation from here. Maybe she was satisfied with that? "So, flying cars, hmm? What sort of propulsion method are you using?"

"Liquid fuel chemical propell…" she started to answer. "Wait, Isabella - do you - you don't think she'll  _tell_  anyone, do you?" The worry on her face had returned - and it was worse now.

Phineas paused for a second before answering. The circle of their secret was already starting to spiral out of control - and was going to grow by yet another person later this afternoon, when he was forced to tell Irving. If Isabella told even more people, eventually somebody would find out - somebody who might not be content to be merely shocked, but instead might take action against them. Like their parents, for example.

But would Isabella actually  _do_  something like that? Admittedly, the way he'd left in anger had not been ideal for someone with such a sensitive secret - a secret that he had subconsciously relied on her to keep. Still, he could hardly imagine her to be so spiteful as to actually do something like that. Sure, she'd seemed pretty…  _opposed_  to the idea, but would that actually extend to taking such action against them?

He hoped not, but could no longer say for sure.

"I - I can't say for sure," he said said aloud, echoing his thoughts. "But I don't  _think_  she would. I mean, she's obviously very much… against the idea. But I think we can trust her to not tell anyone."

Candace's eyes widened slightly and she seemed to be making a conscious effort to bite back words. "You  _think_  so?" she asked at last, the nervousness in her tone positively palpable. "Phineas…" her voice trailed away but the meaning was clear.

"Don't worry," he tried to reassure her. Taking a few steps forwards, he quickly closed the small distance between them. Being in such close proximity to her somehow made the unpleasant events of the morning seem to fade somewhat. This was the reason his friendship with Isabella had gotten shaken up so badly - and as he stood next to her and looked into her eyes, he could confidently say that, yes, it was worth it.

Upsetting? Certainly. But, in the end, worth it.

He put his arms around her and hugged her close. For a moment, she hesitated, then sat whatever tool had been in her hand down on the car and returned the hug. The surprisingly chill wind so far in the sky seemed to lessen in intensity - seemed to grow warm and comfortable.

"It'll be alright," he said. "I think that, even despite all this stuff, we  _can_  trust her. I think she's just… upset. And I suppose that's fair, if you think about it. Still, I don't think she'll actually go through with anything. I mean, on some level she has to realize that she's wrong about this whole mess. I think it was my fault, really - I just didn't bring it up right - and got her upset. Once she cools off, I think it'll be just fine."

Candace exhaled loudly. "Who knew keeping this thing secret was gonna be so  _hard_? This is, what, day  _three_? And already we've had more close calls than… than blindly hopping dimensions while riding the space-time continuum's natural energy flow."

Well, there hadn't been quite so many as  _that_ , he thought. Still, her point was clear - and she was right - there had been too many narrow misses for comfort.

"I know," he agreed. "But don't worry - we'll manage. Like you said, it has only been three days. Once we get settled into a pattern, it should come easy. This is the hard part - it should be smooth sailing once we've let the dust settle."

"I know, I know," she said. "Still… I don't know. Sometimes I wonder how we'll ever manage to actually date when it feels like there are security cameras trained on us twenty-four seven."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ferb blink, an expression of mild surprise spreading across his features. What was that all about? Candace'd said something security came- oh no!  _Security cameras_!

Phineas pulled away from his sister - his  _girlfriend_  - suddenly remembering what else he had to do today.

Candace glanced at him, looking confused. "Phineas?"

"I just remembered," he hastily explained. "You talking about cameras reminded me - we have to deal with  _Irving_ , before he finds us out."

"Irving? Why…" Her eyes widened. "Oh,  _no_. How could I not remember this? Oh, no, Phineas, this is  _bad_! What if he already has us on tape? What if he-"

"It's okay, it's okay," Phineas cut in, reaching back out and grabbing his sister's hand. "It's only been three days, right? I know Irving's schedule. He records a week at a time, and each week goes through the surveillance from the week before. So even if he  _does_  have footage, he'll not have seen it yet, unless something persuaded him to break his routine…" he stopped and shook his head. "...but I don't think we have to worry about that - I doubt it would happen."

"That really doesn't help, you know!" Candace returned, her voice climbing two pitches. "Oh my gosh - how could I forget about him? With all the crap he collects he's probably gonna figure us out before long - he probably  _already has_. I am  _not_  okay with this - I mean, what if he tells someone? If he really wants to, it's not like we would be able to stop him and Mom and Dad would find out and then..." she stopped for a second, staring off into space. "And then I don't really know. What would they do? Who knows. But I can tell you right now that it would  _not_  be fun."

"Well…" he said. "That's why I have a plan to stop that from happening."

He glanced over at Ferb, who was still leaning against the side of the car, watching.

"Basically," he resumed, "Of all the things Irving is - one thing that we all know about him is that, somewhat unlike me, he  _can_  keep secrets."

Candace's eyes widened slightly, but he pressed on anyway.

"Just think about all the secrets he  _already_  knows about - things like that time you got your head stuck in the kitchen sink, or the time I ran into that vending machine, or when you fell into the fountain at the Googolplex, or when I-"

"Okay, okay, point taken," she cut him off. "Still, that's different. Those things… are embarrassing and I don't want  _anyone_  to find out about them, but there's still a big difference between texting, not looking where you're going and falling into a fountain and - and you know. What we're - what we do."

"I know," Phineas agreed. "But it's still a secret - and he's known about it for years, and - as far as I know - he's never said anything about it. Just imagine all the  _other_  stuff he knows by now, what with his surveillance drones and security cameras and… you know. Yet, once again, he's never revealed anything to anyone." He frowned. "Irving's a bit… Irving. But he's still a friend, of a sort. With all of our other secrets he keeps, I don't think one more will be much of a struggle."

"Additionally," Ferb spoke up, "You must consider that the main objection to your relationship would be somewhat nullified on Irving. The things he does would also be generally frowned upon by a vast majority of people. I find it unlikely that someone of his… particular hobby would be prone to overreaction on this matter."

Candace shuddered slightly and Phineas couldn't really blame her. They were all quite used to Irving by now, but if you stopped to really think about what he did, it could be quite unnerving.

"You're right!" he rejoined. "See what I mean? I don't think there'll really be a problem here - we just have to let him know what's going on before he finds out himself, but I think he'd be willing to keep it a secret if we insisted."

"I don't know," Candace frowned. "I mean… I  _guess_  so, it's just, Phineas, look at this! It was supposed to have been a secret, and yet the whole neighborhood is figuring it out. Next thing you know, it'll be airing on primetime television. I don't like it. Every time someone else figures it out, it just makes it that much more dangerous."

"It'll be okay," he replied. "It's not the whole neighborhood - just Irving. It'll be okay." He smiled at her. " _We_  can manage."

She reached up and pressed on her temples, inhaling sharply. "Oh, geez. I must be crazy."

"Well, a  _little_ crazy's not such a bad thing, now is it?" He picked up the wrench she'd put down and playfully swung it through the air. "Come on, let's finish this thing. I'll handle Irving this afternoon." Momentarily becoming serious again, he lowered the tool. "I love you, Candace."

A blanket of silence settled down over them. Her eyes darted back and forth between him the the ground. "Me too."

The rest of the project proceeded perfectly according to plan. Well, as far as he knew, it did - considering it  _had_  been his sister's plan and not his. He wondered where she'd gotten the idea from. It was pretty cool. A good few hours slipped away during which he completely forgot about all the precariously balanced tightrope they were walking. It was just him and his brother and his sister - also his girlfriend - breaking the sound barrier in a station wagon thirty thousand feet in the air. What was not to love?

But all good things must come to an end. And as the afternoon continued ticking by, Linda emerged from the basement, (Where she had been apparently in the sensory deprivation tank. What did she even do in there, Phineas sometimes wondered.) triggering the Mysterious Force.

A group of UFOs descended from the clouds, and used some sort of tractor beam technology to rip the tower, guy wires and all, out of the ground, carrying it out of sight. Two seconds later, one of them came back, and carefully sat the station wagon back down on the driveway.

"We don't need this part," the pilot of the saucer said, before following his friends away.

Phineas pressed a button on a remote control, and the wings and rocket engine mounted on the car folded up and in on themselves, before sliding seamlessly into hidden compartments designed for this purpose.

"Hey kids!" Linda called from the sliding glass door, just moments too late to see anything, as she always was. "Are you ready for some pie? It's about that time again."

And they were. Halfway through the snacks, Candace's phone went off. She dug it from her pocket and answered.

"Hey, Stace. What's up?"

"I'm good. Just, you know, eating pie. And all that."

"What? No, no, no, there's - why - where would you get that idea? There's nothing going on here, not at all." She laughed nervously, and her face paled slightly. "Your sister is crazy, I guess, right? Heheheheh."

"What… I mean, sure, if you want. I, uh, no - it's fine. Why would I have a problem with it? No reason, of course."

"Alright. I'll see you then. Bye."

She swallowed nervously as she put the phone back into her pocket. "That was Stacy. Apparently Ginger  _somehow_  got the impression that something weird was going on at our house, and now she's coming over. I can't say 'no' because she's my friend and that would be rude… but what if she figures something out? What if…"

"Candace," Phineas said calmly, "It'll be fine. What could she possibly find? We're brother and sister - what's she gonna suspect? It's not like we're just going to start kissing in front of her." He smiled. "Don't worry - it'll be fine."

"But what am I supposed to say if she asks me about what's going on? How did Ginger even figure out that something  _was_  going on? She hasn't even been here! Are we that obvious?"

Phineas frowned slightly, having some idea where Stacy's younger sister had gotten that impression. At least it seemed that Isabella had only mentioned that 'something weird was going on' and left it at that. He felt partly upset that she'd said even that, and partly relieved - she'd obviously made the conscious choice to not spill the exact details.

"It's gonna be okay," he repeated. "I do realize I've said that a lot of times in the past two days, but, I mean, it seems to be working. After all, for all the close calls we've had, none of them have been anything more than that, right?"

Candace looked across the table at him, staring hard for a moment. Then her face softened somewhat. "I - I guess so. I just get so wor - I just, I mean, I don't know." She sighed. "It's just… it seems like everything's determined to ruin this. The  _universe itself_  even tried to kill us over it." Her eyes momentarily refocused into empty space. "Oh, yeah, thanks for that confirmation that I'm a weirdo, by the way, Mysterious Force. Curse you."

Phineas smiled. "Come on. Don't look at it like that. It's not an obstacle - it's a  _challenge_. We've discovered things that don't exist before - and this is like that. Let's do it again! Because, really, isn't it worth it?"

She looked back at him and sighed, remaining silent for a long moment. "I... guess so." He blinked. Well, that was what he'd assumed all along - but to hear it being said aloud... She  _thought that the risk was worth it_! Suddenly the feeling of happiness and excitement he'd had over the flying car earlier this afternoon seemed to pale in comparison.

"Then why should we let even the machinations of the universe itself get in our way?" he asked. "We've circumvented how many unbreakable natural laws before now? What's one more time -  _especially_  for something like this?"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Candace pushed her plate back and forth across the table and cracked a thin smile. "Don't worry. I - well, I get the point. I  _guess_  you're right. You know, for - for now."

Phineas smiled back across the table at his sister - his girlfriend. It was more than just worth it, in his opinion. This was the greatest thing ever - there was no one he'd rather go nowhere with than her. And if keeping this part of their relationship secret was what made her comfortable returning his feelings, then it would just have to happen, in one way or another.

"Besides," he continued, "You've reminded me that I have to call Irving and get him over here too. In fact, I'll do that right now." He reached down into his own pocket and produced his phone. "I think I have his number in here somewhere."

A few minutes of digging through contact lists produced the number in question. Dialing, he raised the phone and listened to it ring.

Just a moment later, there was a  _click_ , and the line connected.

"Phineas?" Irving's voice came. "Man, everybody's calling me nowadays! It's so exciting! Eeeeeee!"

Phineas pulled the speaker away from his ear until Irving stopped squealing - which was a good few seconds.

"Yes, hi Irving," he said at last. "It is me. Uh, can you come over today? There's something I need to talk to you about."

"You  _want_  me to come over?! Oh, boy, I'll be there! Give me a few minutes! I'll be right over!"

The other end of the line disconnected with a small click.

"Well?" Candace asked.

Phineas shrugged. "He's coming over in a few minutes. Do you, uh, do you want to talk to him with me?"

Her face grew red, but she nodded. "I - I guess I should. I mean, this does concern the both of us, right?"

He could almost feel the width of the smile that crossed his face. "Yes, yes it does - concern  _us_ , I mean."

He was debating the chance of Linda coming into the kitchen and whether or not he should try to go over to her and kiss her. Well, here in the kitchen was probably not the  _best_  idea, but would it be weird if he just said 'Let's go upstairs into one of our bedrooms and lock the door so I can kiss you'? Probably, but it would still be okay, right? She  _was_  his girlfriend, after all - didn't that mean that was the sort of thing you were  _supposed_  to do? He'd have to ask her that at some point.

But it was entirely pointless anyway, because at that exact moment, the doorbell rang.


	20. Friends

Snack time had just finished, not even seconds earlier. As Phineas slid his phone back into his pocket, he stood up and began clearing away the empty plates and forks from the table, all while deep in thought about the confusing ins and outs of romantic relationships with people. What sorts of thing did they exactly allow again? He knew some things, obviously, but other stuff was slightly less obvious. One of these days he was going to have to get Candace to explain all of it to him.

Before he could actually say anything, however, the doorbell rang, echoing through the house.

"Who's that?" he wondered aloud, setting the pile of dishes in the sink. "Guess I'll get it."

He quickly walked through the house to the front door, and pulled it open. Stacy  _was_  supposed to be on her way over, he thought as he unlocked the door, as well as Irving, but that hadn't been more than a few seconds ago. There was no way that...

"...Irving?" Phineas blinked in surprise. "Wow. You, uh - you got here  _fast_."

"I did indeed!" Irving replied enthusiastically. "It's not a long walk between here and-" he paused for a split second. "-uh, where I was. Oh, and I brought the UPAFDS!"

"That's... nice," Phineas shifted back and forth on his feet. "I - uh - thanks for not climbing in my bedroom window again?"

"But of course!" Irving agreed. "I remembered you asked me not to - and just in time, too." He paused. "I wish I'd remembered sooner - that ladder is heavy. But whatever."

Phineas blinked, unsure of how to respond. "Aaaaaanyway - come on. Candace and I, we, well, we have to talk to you about something."

"Candace  _and_  you?" Irving asked. "Oh, I wonder if it has anything to do with - oh, this is so exciting!"

Phineas frowned slightly, but turned and led him back through the house to the kitchen. Irving was excitable sometimes - it wasn't a bad thing, really, although given his habits, it occasionally had disturbing implications.

They reached the kitchen, and the first thing that Phineas noticed was how red his sister had turned.

"Hello, Candace!" Irving announced grandly. "I'm heeeeere!"

She gave a weak wave. "Hi."

Irving glanced around the kitchen. "And hello to you too, Ferb. So… what exactly do you guys have to tell me?"

Ferb blinked and gestured in the general direction of the upstairs.

"Right," Phineas agreed. "It's - uh - a bit delicate. You mind if we go somewhere more private?"

"It requires somewhere  _private_?" Irving asked. "Oh boy, this is going to even better than I hoped!"

Phineas raised one eyebrow. "Yes, yes it does. So… let's go, then?"

Irving nodded vigorously, tightly clutching the UPAFDS to his chest. "Being invited in is so much cooler than - well, it's just cooler. And so… intimate! I  _love_  it."

"Guess it is," Phineas replied. "Candace… you coming?"

Candace gave a small start, abruptly standing up. "Yes! Yes, I am. Uh, just give me a second. Let's… just get this over with."

"Yes, let's!" Irving exclaimed, leading the way from the kitchen into the living room. "And I'll record the whole thing with the UPAFDS here - I'll be able to get so much great close-up footage too - and the audio will be great - sometimes the quality suffers when I use drone cameras, you know?"

"Actually," Candace cut in, "Let's  _not_  do that."

"Huh?" Irving glanced over at her, seeming surprised. "Not do what?"

"You know," Candace cleared her throat. "Surreptitiously recording us on your little gadget - let's not. This is _not_  something I want to be on tape saying."

"Is it  _that_  private?" Irving asked. "Oh, this is exciting! I bet I know what it is then - but I'll wait and see." He paused. "Wait, so you  _don't_  want me to film this?"

Candace frowned. "No, I'd really rather not. In fact, why don't you just leave that thing down here in the living room while we're talking?"

Now it was Irving's turn to frown deeply. "No!" he said. "I don't let the UPAFDS out of my sight - except in a few unavoidable circumstances beyond my control. But certainly not here."

Candace turned to Phineas, shooting him a meaningful glance. Well, he didn't particularly mind either way - but he could also tell how worried his sister got over this thing. It couldn't hurt to go along with her on this one, if it made her happy.

"Come on," he spoke up. "No one'll hurt it - or even touch it. Ferb and Mom're the only other people here, aside from Perry, and he doesn't do much."

Irving frowned again, glancing down at the tablet in his hand. "Oh, I don't know. I have to hang on to the UPAFDS. Remember what happened to her last time I let go, just for a second? She got eaten. By a  _crocodile_."

"Well, that is a good point," Phineas admitted. "Though I don't think there are any crocodiles in our house, really. At least not that I've seen."

"Yes, but there are plenty of other reasons that I shouldn't leave it down here. There could be an alligator, for instance. Besides, I said I won't record you. Isn't that enough?"

"Irving," Candace said wearily. "We all know that your thing is wired to be a twenty-four-seven audio receptor. That can never be disabled, short of destroying the device - which is also nigh impossible.  _We_  were the ones you had make it that way, remember?"

"Hmm, you're right." Irving straightened his glasses. "I'd forgotten about that feature. But - but what about the alligator? That, you know, might be lurking around."

Candace scowled, and Phineas could tell she was growing annoyed. He thought about trying to get her hand in an attempt to help calm her down, but decided against it. Irving was right here, after all, and they hadn't told him anything yet. It would just have to wait.

"If an alligator comes after your tablet, I'll  _personally_  wrestle it into submission - and I'm not exaggerating. Just put the thing on the coffee table and come upstairs, okay? Ferb'll watch it for you and make sure nothing touches it." She raised her voice slightly and yelled into the kitchen. "Right?"

There was no response, but Ferb appeared at the doorway of the living room gave a thumbs up.

"Alright, I guess," Irving relented at last. He sat the tablet down on the coffee table, giving the electronic device an oddly tender pat. "Let's go, then. I'm still excited for this, just a bit… downcast that you don't want it on tape. Don't you want your words immortalized for all the world to hear?"

"No," Candace said. "No, that's exactly what we  _don't_  want." She rolled her eyes. "Come on - we have to get this over with. It's only like a ten minute walk from Stacy's house to here and I want you  _gone_  before she gets here."

Phineas decided that this would be the proper point to jump in and point up the stairs. "Come on, let's go." He began walking away, and Irving and his sister fell in line behind him. They walked silently up the stairs until they reached Candace's bedroom.

He shut and locked the door behind them, then turned to Irving, who was now sitting on Candace's bed, obviously making himself feel at home. Glancing at Candace, he nodded slightly. She turned slightly red, but eventually nodded back.

_Well, we're going to tell him our secret anyway. What can it hurt?_  Phineas thought. He reached out and grabbed his si- girlfriend's hand. Irving's eyes flickered towards the motion, and his eyes grew wide behind the lenses of his glasses.

"Okay, look," Phineas started. "We know that you watch us - a lot. And therefore, you tend to, uh, figure secrets out. So we're gonna just go ahead and take you into confidence before you discover it on your own - but you have to promise not to tell anyone else, okay?"

Irving glanced back and forth between them, then shrugged. "Okay."

Phineas glanced over at Candace again, and she looked at him. He could tell she was nervous, and smiled in an attempt to be reassuring.

"Alright then. Irving - Candace and I - we're, well, I guess that best way to say it is - boyfriend and girlfriend." Whoa. Saying it out loud like that - it felt nice. And what felt nicer was the way her hand was in his, and the way she made no attempt to remove it, or to make a counterpoint or caveat to what to what he'd said.  _Boyfriend_. Huh. Well, he'd not thought of that part, but if Candace was his girlfriend, then that was what he was, too.

"Ha!" Irving exclaimed. "I knew it!"

Well, that had not been expected in the slightest.

"Say what?" Candace echoed.

Irving bounced up and down on the bed. "This is so exciting! I've known for - well, the whole time, really, but I wasn't expecting to be invited into your confidence! It's so great! Picture time?" He looked down, and glanced around, his enthusiastic expression fading somewhat. "Oh, right. You made me leave UPAFDS downstairs."

"So… you've known about this the  _whole time_?" Candace asked again. Now she pulled away her hand, running it through her hair.

"Oh, of course," Irving replied, shrugging. "I can see everything, you know. But this is great! Oh, I think I'm gonna squeal!"

"Please don't!" Phineas hastily interrupted. "We, uh, didn't realize you knew already. You'll keep it - you know - on a need-to-know basis, though, right?"

"And  _no one_  will  _ever_  need to know!" Candace interjected. She shook her head and paced to the other side of the room. "I - I - ugh. Look - it's  _really_  important that this not get out anymore than it already is."

Phineas could tell she was getting worried again. He wasn't quite sure  _why_  - did it really matter that much that Irving had already known when they were planning to tell him anyway? But he hated to see her worry, even if he couldn't be sure of the reason why.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Irving carelessly replied. "I get it - it's part of what makes it so  _exciting_! A forbidden romance… how cool is this? It's pretty awesome, if you ask me. That's why I'm recording every second - you know, for posterity."

Candace frowned, obviously choosing to ignore the latter part of his comment. "But you won't breathe a  _word_  of this to anyone?"

"Of course not," Irving said. "I wouldn't want to interfere - to mess this up. I'm getting sweet footage off it and I think it's so  _cool_. You two should come over and see my filing cabinet one of these days. I've got pictures of the both of you that I photoshopped-"

"That's really nice," Phineas spoke up. "But I'm pretty sure that it's okay." He glanced over at his sister and she shook her head, eyes opened wide. "You won't mind too much if we skip out on looking at those pictures?"

"Oh, well, I guess," Irving returned. "I mean, you've never come to look at my library anyway."

The way he said it kind of made Phineas feel guilty, but it didn't last for long. There was a reason that they'd never done so, of course. Ignorance is bliss, and the longer they didn't look at the exact type of stuff that Irving stored up in his data banks, the better. And he could tell by the look in his sister's eyes that she was thinking the same he was.

Some things were simply better if they remained safely in the unknown.

Phineas glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It had been eight minutes since they'd arrived up here - hadn't Candace said that it was a ten minute walk from Stacy's? It was probably time for Irving to go, then. Candace would definitely prefer that, he was sure.

"Well," he said, clearing his throat. "Welcome to the circle of confidence, I guess. And thanks for keeping the secret. That's - that's all, really. Candace is expecting company in a few minutes, though so-"

"Stacy?" Irving asked. "Yeah, I heard. Good luck with that - I'll be gone, then. Back to my vantage point! I will see you two later, probably on a digital screen!" He chuckled. "Good luck with the… you know what!" He stood up from the bed, crossed the bedroom, unlocked the door, and left.

Candace exhaled loudly. "He already knew? Ugh, Phineas… I don't like that! How'd he figure it out? What if somebody else figures it out the same way? What it-"

"Candace, come on now," Phineas said, taking Irving's spot on her bed. "You know  _exactly_ how he figured it out. Doesn't really seem like the type of thing that… well, anyone else would be doing, either." He smiled at her. "I think we just plugged the biggest leak - and it went pretty well, don't you think?"

Candace buried her face in her hands, plunking herself down next to him. "You're right - again, I guess. I just can't help but feel like this isn't going to be possible in the long run. I mean - somebody finds out and we run all over the place to make sure they don't tell. And again and again and again and rinse and repeat. It doesn't seem… sustainable, you know?"

He put his arm around her. "It's not  _that_ bad. There was just Isabella and Irving, and we managed to stop it before anything happened. No one else suspects anything." He could already see what she was about to say in response. "And before you say it, no, Stacy doesn't suspect us of this. Remember how long it took for you to realize what I meant when I first told  _you_? For almost ten years Stacy's seen us as brother and sister - I doubt even a major slip-up or two would put _this_  into her head - we've got a lot of room for error here. Like I said before, we'd probably have to start kissing in front of her something."

Candace flushed. "I know. It's just… ugh."

Phineas frowned slightly, a bit unsure of how to continue. "Well, Stacy's gonna be here any minute now. Just, you know, don't think about this while she's here." He smiled at her. "I  _am_  your brother, after all, and they say method acting is a good thing? I don't really know. The point is, when  _I_  don't know what to say to you - and it's mostly about romance stuff because, bleh, that stuff is hard sometimes - I just sort of try not to think about it too much. The brain - and the subconscious mind - is an amazing thing, and a lot of time it's only the  _conscious_  mind that gets in the way and makes things hard."

"I know, I know," Candace replied. "Don't overthink it. Just let habit tell me what to do. Because our… this thing - it has no bearing on Stacy at all, does it?"

"Exactly." Phineas nodded.

She sighed. "Yeah, that's - it so easy to say. And you'd think I could do it, wouldn't you? But I don't know, Phineas. I just… ugh."

He could tell she was worried. Worried about being found out? Probably. The fact that she wouldn't quite say what it was exactly made it a bit difficult to try and help, but he intended to try anyway. He was sure  _this_  was something a boyfriend was supposed to do - but even if wasn't, he'd still try. This wouldn't be the first time, and although he hoped it would - reasonably speaking, it probably wouldn't be the last either.

From the doorway, someone cleared their throat, and they both glanced up quickly.

"Oh, hey, Ferb," he greeted.

Ferb nodded and gestured off down the stairs.

"Oh, Stacy's here." Phineas interpreted the motion.

"Right." Candace stood up, frowning.

"Come on, Candace," Phineas said. "It's just Stacy. Everything'll be fine."

Ferb nodded.

"Right," she repeated, laughing nervously. "Away I go." She walked out of the room, disappearing from view, and headed down the stairs.

Phineas grinned at Ferb. "Well, that went about as well as you said it would." He laid back across Candace's bed. "Actually, it turned out that he already knew… which, to be fair, I didn't expect. But it was fine - like you said, he didn't seem against it at all. In fact, he was kind of…" he shivered slightly. "...a bit  _too_  eager about the whole thing, if you know what I mean."

Ferb blinked.

"But he'll keep it a secret. So that's taken care of." Phineas exhaled. "Candace worries about it a lot, though. And it's only been three days, I mean, she is way better at staying on top of secrets than I am, which is a good thing, I suppose. I just hate to see her worry, you know?"

Ferb nodded again, and gestured downstairs.

"Nah, I think I'll go in our bedroom and read or draw blueprints or something." Phineas shrugged. "It might help Candace feel more at ease around Stacy, and it might not. But it might - so I guess I might as well."

"You might," Ferb said.

Phineas grinned. Yes, yes I… might. Plus I really should try to think of some way to bring Isabella around." His grin faded. "Should I go back over there tomorrow? I feel like after what happened this morning, it would be… I don't know, too soon, I guess? She was really mad at me - which, admittedly, was partly my fault. I just don't really know how to bring the subject up, if you know what I mean. But I can't let it just sit there and do nothing about it. There's a balance somewhere, but I don't know quite where it is."

There was a middle ground somewhere out there, and he had to find it - and fast. Going over too soon would only serve to make his friend even more angry at him, and waiting too long would just let the issue let fester, which wasn't good either.

Ferb blinked again, pointed at himself, and then off in the general direction of the Garcia-Shapiro house.

" _You_  could go over there and talk to her?" Phineas asked. His brother nodded. "Oh, I don't know," he continued, shaking his head. "That seems… kinda cheap, you know? But maybe it's good. I don't really know. What do  _you_  think?"

For a moment silence prevailed over the room, broken by the sound of unintelligible voices coming from downstairs.

"Well, I can neither accept nor offer apologies on your behalf. However, I may be able help her realize that in remaining angry, she is only hurting herself and you."

"I don't know," Phineas said slowly. "I mean, if you think it would help, then go ahead. But somehow I get the impression that it wouldn't work." He shrugged slightly. "But whatever we decide to do - we'll do it tomorrow anyway, right? No point in worrying about for the rest of today then."

He smiled and Ferb shook his head and shrugged.

"This is an issue," Phineas continued. "But we- I'll get it. Whether or not she was crushing on me, we were still friends for eight years. And I'll bet anything that, somewhere, under all of that, she was my friend too. It's just a matter of how to get back to that. But… I can't very well do that part for her, I guess. So I guess I shouldn't worry about it."

Ferb nodded. "How she handled her feelings for you was not ideal, no. But those feelings  _were_  still there, for eight years - she won't be able to get over them in a day or two. It's quite similar to Candace and Jeremy."

"You're right again," Phineas agreed, frowning slightly. "It's been, what, almost a month since Candace broke up with him? And sometimes I still don't think she's  _completely_  over it. But I try - because I just can't stand to see her upset." He paused, thinking. "She does still have that shrine in her closet, although she's not done anything with it - or even fixed it up after I accidentally knocked it over. I guess I  _knew_  that it would be similar with Isabella, but I didn't actually think of it before." He grimaced. "Now I feel sorry for her. No one should have to deal with that sort of thing by themselves."

Something about the idea disturbed him. Ferb was right, of course, as he tended to be about these matters. Strangely, though, it also made him feel somewhat better about this morning's events. After all - if you thought about it like  _that_ , it was no wonder she'd not been particularly happy to see him. And add to that the fact the he certainly hadn't helped the situation any, well, it made a lot more sense.

Not really a  _happy_  sense, but sense nonetheless, and that was all he could ask. After all - look what he was getting out of the whole thing. Candace was his girlfriend, and it was the best thing ever. That made this whole mess that much easier to deal with, if not making it entirely worthwhile. But Isabella didn't have that - instead, she was getting just the opposite. And it made him feel sorry.

Maybe how he'd gone about this whole thing this morning had been the problem. Isabella didn't want to be confronted - she probably needed to be  _comforted_ , just like Candace had. And what had gone on had been the farthest thing from that.

He'd not thought of it like  _this_  before. But it made sense, and was probably entirely true.

Still, that didn't change the fact that he should probably wait for her cool down before trying to reach out again. Maybe tomorrow wasn't such a good idea either - heck, maybe he should call before showing up next time. Knowing what he'd just realized certainly made the situation easier to understand, but it also complicated it a  _lot_ more.

Maybe he should ask Candace what to do. She might know, right? Or maybe it was too soon after his sister's own breakup. They never went to Slushy Burger anyway - the food there never got any better, seriously - but Phineas  _had_  noticed his sister continued to give the restaurants a wide berth whenever they were out. Of course, that could just be habit by now, and she really didn't care anymore, but he wasn't sure. But Ferb would probably know what to do anyway.

"So what do you think I should do?" he echoed his own thoughts.

Ferb blinked in that expressive way only he could manage to pull off.

"Is she alone?" Phineas asked. When Ferb nodded, he continued. "No, no, I don't think so. At least, when I went over there this morning she said that she was expecting Ginger to be over." He paused. "Well, she didn't so much say that as say 'Hi, Ginger' before she realized that it was me. Huh. Maybe  _this_  is why, too."

Ferb shrugged slightly.

"I know, I know. I just really feel like I should go over there and apologize - for not realizing how she must feel about this whole thing. And then blowing up. That wasn't right - it wouldn't be anyway, but it  _definitely_  wasn't now. She didn't mean what she said about Candace, I guess. She was just… really upset, and I was  _not_  helping." He paused. "Tomorrow I'll try again, I guess. I'll get in touch with Ginger and ask her how it's going to make sure that'll be okay. Hmm, I can't say I have her number. I'll have to get it from Stacy."

Ferb gestured downstairs.

"Nah, I still think that me being down there might unsettle Candace some. I'll just wait until Stacy leaves, then I'll ask Candace for her number. It'll be fine." He stood up from the bed and stretched. It was about time to get off this subject. Talking for so long on such somber matters did not sit very well with him. "Really, though, I am going to go draw some blueprints now. I had this really cool idea this morning, and it could use some sketching out."

Yes, the bridge. It would be cool, too - maybe they could do it tomorrow or something.

Ferb followed silently as he left Candace's bedroom for their own, pulling out the chair and sitting down at the desk.

"Oh, wait," he mumbled under his breath. "I forgot my pen is still gone." He glanced across the rest of the stuff scattered across the desk. "For now I guess I'll just use somebody else's." He reached into the drawer and felt about, at last pulling out a pen so neon pink that it almost glowed. "This one'll work. I don't think Candace'll mind, do you?" He clicked the pen several times and scribbled a small line onto one corner of blank blueprinting paper. "Oh, hey, it writes in pink too. Never noticed that before."

Ferb shrugged and, turning, headed out of the room and back downstairs.

Time ticked rapidly away into the past as he sketched out the plan in his head onto the paper. They'd need loads and loads of cement and concrete and asphalt and wiring and probably a ton of steel too. Well, more than a ton. A few million tons, maybe. And maybe more.

Candace would probably end up figuring out the exact numbers later. For now, he just wanted the sketch to be complete. What would be the most effective way of supporting a four thousand mile plus bridge over half a continent and an ocean? Capable of handling ocean current, sea life, hurricanes, naval travel attempting to sail beneath it, earthquakes, lightning, and tectonic movement from inside the earth itself?

Scribbling out 'Instant Teleportation Interface' from the top of the paper, he re-wrote 'Magnetically Levitated Concrete Superstructure'. Now  _that_  was a cool idea.

He sat back and looked over the finished blueprint with a satisfied sigh. Whenever they got around to doing this, it was going to be awesome.

"Whoa," he said to himself, upon looking over at the little clock on the nightstand. "I didn't realize it'd gotten so late. Dinner's probably almost ready by now - oh, and I bet Stacy's gone too."

That was good - now he could go downstairs and see how that went. And also ask if his decision to coop himself up in their bedroom had helped any.

Sticking the various bits and pieces leftover from the afternoon's work - along with the actual completed blueprint - into one of the desk drawers, he turned out the light and left the room, heading downstairs.

The smell of food being prepared in the kitchen was strong down here - and it smelled like tacos. Which was awesome. His mouth had already begun watering in anticipation.

Candace was sprawled out on the living room couch, eyes on the TV. Some commercial was on, apparently, or she just wasn't interested in whatever was showing, because she looked over at him the second he entered the room.

"Hey, Phineas," she said. "Where've you been all afternoon?"

"Upstairs." He glanced around. "Where's Ferb?"

"Basement, I think. Or in the kitchen. I don't really know."

He sat down on the couch. "Ah. So, uh, how'd it go?"

She gave him a weird look out the corner of her eye.

"If - if you don't mind me asking," he hastily added.

For a second, there was silence, broken only by the sound of their mother in the other room talking to herself while cooking - and probably making bad puns while doing so.

"It went… fine." Candace said at last. "I was sort of expecting, well, I don't really know. Like, that everything would be different, somehow." She shook her head. "But it really, really wasn't. It was just - just normal."

"Well, that's good." Phineas replied. "Although, to be fair, not a lot  _has_  changed, really."

Candace suddenly seemed thoughtful. "Yeah," she said slowly, staring off into the space behind him. "Which is plenty weird in and of itself, honestly."

"I'm just glad to hear it went alright - that you had fun. I wouldn't want, uh…" he shot a glance at the open kitchen doorway. "... our thing to get in the way of that." His thoughts momentarily flickered back to Isabella - but that was an  _entirely_ different situation, after all.

"Mmm hmm." Candace nodded. "It was good. Well, at first it was, like,  _super_ awkward _._  But I think that was just me. She asked about you and it made me nervous that she'd somehow picked up on this… thing. But I guess not, because she dropped the subject after that and it didn't come up again." She shuddered slightly. "Which is good. I don't know what I'd do if she  _did_  get wind of this and dropped me over it. I'd get dropped, I guess, because who wants to be friends with the freak who makes out with her own brother?" She chuckled nervously, grimacing as she did so.

Phineas frowned a bit, somewhat unsure of how to respond - or how to take her comment at all. "I… guess... so?" Something about it bothered him, and he couldn't quite lay his finger on why.

His eyes darted back to the open doorway to the kitchen. Wasn't it a bit unsafe to be saying things like that anyway, especially when Linda was just in the other room? Then again, Candace was much better at keeping secrets than he was. It seemed like the sort of thing they wouldn't want to say, but you could never be sure, could you?

"Ugh." Candace leaned back and stared off into the ceiling. "Sorry - I don't mean to ruin the mood. It was good, really it was, it's just… well, it's also a great way to remind me of what exactly I'll never get to see again if… you-know-what comes out. Which I really didn't need."

"Oh," Phineas said slowly. "Well, I mean, I don't really think Stacy would go so far as  _that_  if she found out, I mean…" his voice drifted off, as he thought of Isabella again. "...think about Irving. It didn't bother him all that much."

"Right." The sarcasm in Candace's voice was so thick that even he could pick up on it. "Because there's no difference at all between Stacy's and Irving's point of view on these things. At all. It's  _definitely_  not like one's a perfectly normal person, and one's, like, the most stalkery stalker ever to stalk."

"Well, Irving's not that…" Phineas paused. "Okay, so maybe that  _is_  a fair description. Still, I think the point is there."

Candace smiled slightly and shook her head. "You really think that, don't you? I  _wish_  it was true, honestly, I do. But the reality is - it just isn't. If Stacy ever got wind of this… I'd probably be out of her life quicker than a hot potato." She shivered slightly, and Phineas considering sliding over next to her and putting his arm around her, but he never got to make that decision.

"Kids!" Linda called from the kitchen. "Dinner time!"

Candace stood up from the couch and shook herself off. "I just don't know what I'd do, really."

"Well," Phineas replied, "I guess it's a good thing that no one else knows." He flashed a smile. "And as long as you want to keep it that way, no one else will. Now come on - there's tacos."

* * *

Stacy didn't even know why she was doing this. It was already almost five o'clock, for crying out loud. It really was way too late to be going over to her friend's house today. She was probably going to be late for dinner over this - although, to be fair, the Flynn-Fletchers  _probably_  wouldn't mind if she ate dinner with them.

It wasn't like she didn't like spending time with Candace, really, but the last time she'd talked to her on the phone, Candace had seemed a bit... on the 'off' side. Which, for Candace, wasn't saying a lot, honestly.

And it was probably why she'd decided to walk over to the Flynn house after Ginger had come up to her room and said something about Isabella Garcia-Shapiro saying something about something weird going at the Flynn-Fletcher house?

It really was a ridiculous and convoluted reason, wasn't it? But Candace Flynn  _was_  her best friend, so to be fair a reason wasn't really even all that necessary in the first place.

It wasn't that she  _doubted_  her sister, really, but there was  _always_  weird stuff going on down at Candace's house anyway, and this would likely end up being nothing more than that. Still. It  _had_  been a few days since she'd been over, and this was a good an excuse as any.

The late afternoon sun shone down warmly as she finally made it to the correct house and walked up the Flynn-Fletcher's driveway.

The first thing she noticed was that Linda Flynn-Fletcher's car was sitting in the driveway. Accordingly, the backyard of the house appeared to be noticeably free of any crazy contraptions of any sort. That was… something bordering on an annoyance.

Well, if it hadn't been motivation enough come over earlier, then it really wasn't motivation enough to get annoyed at either. Sometimes she was over early enough to see whatever thing was being done, and sometimes not. But she didn't really mind either way - it wasn't like Phineas and Ferb and Candace were ever going to stop making those things. So there was no rush to go look at each and every one of them either.

She stopped at the front door of the house and knocked several times, then rang the doorbell. A few moments of waiting later, the door swung back. It was Ferb.

"Oh, hey, Ferb," she said, half-waving at him. "Just here to see Candace, you know, like always."

He shrugged and stepped out of the way, motioning for her to enter.

Stacy had been over to the Flynn-Fletcher house so many times that it was almost like a second home to her.

"Hey, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher," she greeted as she walked through the kitchen.

"Oh, hi, Stacy. What're you up to?"

Stacy shrugged. "Just here to chat. So… not much, really."

She left the kitchen and plopped down on the Flynn-Fletcher's couch. Clearing her throat, she turned back to Ferb. "So… where's Candace? Upstairs?"

Ferb nodded. "In conversation."

"Conversation? With who?" she asked. "Phineas, I'd guess. Well, I can only imagine the sort of stuff they're talking about - and I doubt it would be of  _any_  interest to me. I think I'll just sit down here until they're done."

Stacy had been privy to one too many rambles between the Flynn-Fletcher children about various scientific and mathematical… things, along with a bunch of other super-advanced stuff that she really didn't get. It was enough to put someone to sleep, honestly. She used to try to pretend to be interested, at least, but had drawn the line after Candace reached thirty minutes doing nothing but expounding on the differences between a high-energy self-sufficient autonomy transference device and the apparently vastly different spatio-temporal autonomy distortion hyper-comlink.

And since Stacy had gone into the conversation not sure what either of them did, it really had meant all of nothing to her - and that had been about when she'd fessed up and admitted so to her friend.

Now, of course, Candace didn't do that so much anymore, unless she got super excited over something, which was… a lot of the time. But, still, to her credit,  _most_  of the random technobabble was saved for her brothers, instead of Stacy, who couldn't even understand most of it, much less speak it in return.

So she sat quietly on the couch, occasionally checking her phone, waiting for her friend to come downstairs. Shifting slightly in place in to stick her feet up on the coffee table, her foot hit a large black tablet lying there.

"Huh," she mumbled under her breath. "Whose is that? Never seen it before."

She shoved it out of the way with her foot and leaned back. But a moment later, a mild sense of curiosity, driven by a stronger sense of boredom, led her lean forwards and reach out for it. She could hear Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher talking to someone in the kitchen - probably to Ferb.

Huh. Maybe this tablet had been built by Phineas and Ferb and Candace. If that was case, it'd certainly be worthwhile to look at it. Pressing the button on the top of the device, she woke it up.

Immediately, a picture of Phineas and Ferb and Candace sitting around the kitchen table eating glared out from the screen. Yup. Definitely their tablet, then.

She swiped across the screen, curious to see what else this tablet had to offer. Some sort of super-fancy video player that played videos in, like, eleventy-five dimensions or something? It didn't seem so, actually. As far as she could find, there were just… boring old pictures, and the occasional video, like a - a digital scrapbook or something.

Which was disappointing, honestly. For something built by the Flynn-Fletcher children, Stacy'd expected something much… cooler and break-the-laws-of-nature-y. Not to say the digital photo album wasn't neat and all, but compared to the other things she'd seen them do, it really wasn't quite up to par.

Still, she kept aimlessly swiping along through the pictures, if only out of boredom.

Actually, some of the pictures were quite… weird, all things given. Why did Phineas and Ferb and Candace have so many pictures of themselves anyway? And not normal pictures, but pictures taken at really random times - of them eating… and sitting… and watching TV… and sleeping… and doing just about anything. It really was kind of weird. She'd have to ask Candace what exactly they were thinking with some of these pictures - like this one of Phineas combing his hair. Why would you want a picture like that?

The farther along she swiped, the weirder the pictures got.

_Man_ , Stacy thought, looking at a shot of Phineas and Ferb eating breakfast.  _Candace has got a_ really _bad taste in photography_.

It was super blurry, as if it'd been shot through a window screen or something.

But even the weirdest of pictures - which included such eyebrow-raising ones as countless pictures of their clothing, because apparently Phineas and Ferb and Candace thought it necessary to photograph every piece of clothing they owned? - had nothing on what came next.

When she swiped, and it popped up on the screen, she almost swiped past without a second thought, before her brain really registered what was going on in the picture. Wait a second here…

It was a picture of Phineas and Candace, sure, like many, many others in the album. But this one was different. Because in  _this_  one… they were  _kissing_.

And it wasn't the like a whole 'kiss on the cheek' sort of thing - even that would have been weird, honestly, given how old they both were. But it didn't matter, because  _this_  was the farthest possible thing from  _that_.

Stacy blinked, hardly able to believe her eyes, and entirely unable to come up with a reason that would allow for such a picture to be taken. It was - it was  _beyond_ weird, and she generally didn't do well with weird.

"Hey!"

Her eyes snapped up away from the screen, with its strange, strange picture, to face - Irving du Bois?

He frowned deeply and adjusted his glasses. "That is  _mine_ , thank you very much."

"Oh, uh, yeah," Stacy stammered, subtly using her thumb to slide the picture reel a few shots away from the image. "Wait,  _this_? Yours?"

Candace had occasionally mentioned Irving, and how he apparently stalked her and her brothers, but Stacy'd always assumed her friend was exaggerating. Well… now, it certainly seemed  _not_ , didn't it?

"Yes, yes, it is." Irving reached out and snatched the device away. He glanced down at it and mumbled under his breath for a moment. "Well, it seems you didn't quite reach anything that you shouldn't have seen. So I will just bid you good day - and do keep your hands off her in the future, will you?"

"Her?" Stacy echoed, still unsure of what was going on.

"Yes,  _her_ ," Irving replied. His voice suddenly got extremely high-pitched. "Hi, Stacy! I'm the UPAFDS, and I'm a girl!"

"Okay, I get it." She rolled her eyes. "Uh… sorry?"

He shrugged. "You're forgiven - this time. You saw nothing… unusual, right?"

Stacy frowned. "I mean… you have an  _awful_  lot of pictures of them sleeping and eating and using the-"

"Not  _those_ ," he interrupted. "I mean  _really_  unusual, of course."

Just by the way he said it, she immediately knew exactly what image he was referring to. Did Candace and Phineas know he had that picture? And why would  _Candace and Phineas_ be doing  _that_  anyway? That was the real question here. What exactly was going on again? Was this what Ginger had said Isabella was referring to? She had so many questions - and there were no answers, none at all.

"Well?" Irving demanded.

"Uh, uh - no!" she exclaimed, laughing nervously. "What're you talking about? I mean, those pictures are pretty weird in and of themselves really. Why do you have photographic record of every piece of clothing that they have? Is that like some stalker thing?"

He rolled his eyes and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Isn't it obvious? I need the base images for my photo editing. It makes it much easier on me. Though if you're focusing on  _that_ , I guess you  _didn't_  see anything. I will be seeing you, then. Good afternoon to you!"

"Good - good afternoon?" she echoed, as he turned around and strode out of the living room.

Wait a  _second_  here. What was that about photo editing that he'd said? Stacy mentally replayed his last sentence in her head.

_I need the base images for my photo editing._

Ooooh. Well, of course, then. Irving had apparently been editing the pictures or something. That… made infinitely more sense, even if it was a little creepy. A lot creepy. A  _lot_  a lot. She shivered slightly, suddenly becoming glad that _she_  hadn't been in any of the pictures. Imagine if  _she'd_  been one of the ones edited into that picture? That would have… well, honestly, it would have been plenty creepy, but still not quite as flat-out weird.

Did Candace and Phineas know what kind of editing he was doing? She couldn't imagine that they did. Wow - for all the things Candace had told her about Irving in the past, she had  _never_  mentioned anything like this. It was pretty weird - and left Stacy somewhat puzzled on what exact course of action she should be taking, if any.

Ferb poked his head into the room, and saw her sitting there. He nodded and walked through the living room, disappearing upstairs. For a few minutes he stayed up there, and she was alone, save for Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher being in the other room.

_For being digitally edited_ , Stacy realized,  _that picture was put together_ really  _well. It looked - well, it looked almost real_.

Indeed it had. If it hadn't been for the absurd subject matter, she might even have had second thoughts about it. But, really, it couldn't be real. That would just be  _weird_  - to an uncanny degree. And all of that.

She wasn't quite sure what she would have done, had she not realized that it was a fake. But there was no point in thinking about that, was there?

"Oh, hey," Candace's voice came from the base of the stairwell. "Sorry about that. Was talking with Phineas about - about -" she hesitated, suddenly seeming unsure of what to say. "-about nothing. Yeah, really. Nothing - at all." She nodded vigorously, as if trying to convince herself of the veracity of her own words, and sat down on the couch next to Stacy.

"Phineas, hm?" Stacy asked, unable to contain her own morbid curiosity. "How, uh, how is he these days?"

Candace's eyes widened slightly, and she turned a faint but still noticeable shade of red. "Fine, I guess. You know. Normally. Just being Phineas. Like, uh, Phineas would. Still no girlfriend - not sure why you'd ask about that anyways. I mean, you know. He's Phineas. Still way oblivious and... cheerful and... all that. Just like-" She paused abruptly mid sentence. "-like normal."

Stacy's eyes narrowed slightly. It seemed somewhat odd that her best friend was getting so worked up over the simple question.

And it had nothing to do that picture, of course. That picture had been  _faked_ , for goodness' sake. Candace probably didn't even know that it existed at all. So it couldn't have had anything to do with that.

Stacy rolled her eyes at her own jumbled thoughts. Maybe it would be best - for the both of them - if she just dropped the subject. To picked up another day? Maybe. But not today, for sure.

"You do know Irving's making pictures of you…?" she began.

Candace gave a start, looking nervous. "Yes, yes, I do. You - you haven't seen any of them, have you?"

"What? No - no, of course not. Just, uh, asking." Stacy shrugged, trying to give off an air of nonchalance. "To see if you knew. That's all."

Candace nodded. "I do - we  _all_  do. Here's a tip - don't look at them. What you don't know can't hurt you."

_Well,_  Stacy thought,  _I guess it's a little too late for that._

She frowned at her own thoughts. The picture had been faked! Obviously. There was, quite literally,  _no_  reason to believe otherwise, perhaps barring the stunning quality of the editing - but that didn't necessarily mean that it  _wasn't_ faked. Honestly, it was time to just shove this whole mess out of her brain. It wasn't important, and would likely never become important. Apparently Irving did stuff like this all the time, and Candace knew full well about it. So why think about it?

Stacy cleared her throat and shifted on the couch to fully face her friend. "So, did you hear what happened last night down at the Googolplex?"


	21. Magnetically Levitated Concrete Superstructure

For all the times Candace worried about what was going on anymore - about what she was doing with her life - things didn't seem to be going  _that_  horribly. At least not as horribly as one might expect trying to date your own younger brother would go.

The fact that the previous sentence was, in fact, the honest truth about what they were trying to pull off was proof enough of just how ridiculous her life had become. And what was even more ridiculous was the fact that, when you factored in all the reasons why this  _shouldn't_  work, it did. Not perfectly, or even smoothly, at times, but it worked surprisingly well - for what it was.

Was that a  _good_ thing? Honestly, she didn't know, and she was rather sure that she didn't  _want_ to know, either.

It was those times that made Candace question herself - because those were the times, when she and Phineas would be hugging or cuddling or kissing or really any other thing that just  _wasn't_  appropriate for siblings to be doing - and more often than not, it wouldn't feel wrong. At least not as wrong as it should, for whatever undefinable reason it should that Candace still clung to in her mind.

It was often quite the opposite, really: quite enjoyable. Fun, even, if you could believe that dating your brother could be such a thing. Mostly lighthearted, and occasionally serious, though never for too long because it  _was_  Phineas, and he never changed.

She and Phineas, well, they were brother and sister still, and continued to do pretty much everything they had before in that sort of way. But they did more, too - more in a boyfriend and girlfriend sort of way, too. They went out - like,  _out_  out, in the way she used to go with Jeremy. And it was unsettling, in a way - to be doing almost the same things now as then - only with her  _brother_ instead.

But Phineas' optimism and general cheer was infectious on those occasions, even more so than usual, and she'd often find herself asking just  _how_  she'd managed to fall so easily into the pattern of dating her brother. Something about it just seemed so… familiar, in a weird way she couldn't explain. Sure, Phineas and she were more…  _intimate_  now than they'd been before, but there was something else too. Just the way he looked at her sometimes, a way which was really only appropriate for what they were supposed to be now - and yet, a look she'd seen on his face many, many,  _many_  times before - for a very long time.

And it was at times like that she would find herself thinking, if only for second, that this whole thing might not end up so bad after all.

But it would only ever be for a second.

Because where her brother could retreat back into his shell of happy oblivion about what they were doing, she simply couldn't. He never seemed to  _quite_  realize exactly what they were doing, and what sort of thing were to happen if they should ever get… busted. They were  _siblings_  - and they were  _dating_ , for goodness' sake. If anyone should find out - well, barring Irving, but he was the exception, not the rule, because he was… well, he was just Irving - then her life, in all likelihood, would be  _over_. There's simply no way you can come back from that sort of thing.

And if they weren't careful and let their  _mother_  be the one to catch them again, then her life (and Phineas') could  _literally_  be over - although the Mysterious Force never harmed anyone as a  _byproduct_ of its actions, the same could not be said if a person was the  _target_  of its actions. So long as Linda never saw whatever it was targeting, pretty much anything was fair game to the Force. Thinking back on the countless times she'd seen it act, Candace shivered.

The amount of times she'd seen giant contraptions swallowed up by the surface of the earth, or shrunk down into nothing, or instantly transmogrified into other objects, or even straight up disintegrated by beams from the sky numbered in the hundreds now. And those sorts of things would not be as easily survivable as what had happened last time.

And so, as the rest of the week began to slide past, she worried. In between, she dated her brother - as seriously as one could expect, which was to say, not very, right? - and even she had to admit, the possibility of any potential romantic feelings aside, that it was fun. And in some cases, that she  _liked_  going out with her brother. He was oblivious, as always, and unable to stay serious for more than a handful of minutes at a time, and often got distracted into long rambles about random things, not to mention that he was  _her brother_ , but… well, she didn't really know.

Still, she worried. And, of course, things happened, lots of things, to put whatever it was that was going on between them (Phineas had called it 'boyfriend and girlfriend' which she supposed was _technically_ right, but still…) in danger of being found out.

After the run-in with the Mysterious Force they'd begun taking great care to not let _that_  happen again, but it wasn't as easy as it sounded, no indeed. Really, it stressed Candace to no end.

When Stacy came over to visit during the day Candace worried she'd somehow just  _know_  what had been going on. She worried that Irving would spill the beans to someone, that their father would accidentally catch them kissing, that Phineas would get overexcited and blurt out details that should be kept secret, that Isabella would nurse her broken heart over Phineas' rejection into something capable of trying to expose them.

Did  _Phineas_ ever worry about these things? Not hardly. Sure, he tried to help keep the secret, and he was the one who suggested the whole 'hide in the panic room for sound-proof privacy' thing, but she couldn't help but feel like her brother was much more relaxed about the whole thing. And she tried to follow his example, really she did.

But that was impossible. Sure, this… thing between them  _may_  have been… alright. But how could she be expected to be so  _calm_  about the whole thing when, at any given second, it could all come crashing down on their heads in a heap of fiery rubble?

The idea of that was what made her so nervous.

Because there really was only two ways this could end - either ending it on her own volition, which, for some reason, she really  _didn't_ want to do, or to let it continue until somebody slipped up and the cat got out of the bag.

Of course, she did briefly entertain the possibility that it could  _never_  end, instead persisting forever, but… well, she, uh, she had yet to form an opinion on the matter. Or to think about it at all. Yes. Because that was definitely the truth.

_The Plan_  - such that was left of it - was in worse shape than it had ever been. But there were still a few things left intact, even if they were only hanging on by a thread. Like her future children, for example: Xavier and Amanda. And since she obviously couldn't have children with her  _brother_ , that meant at some point it had to end, right? It wasn't really a subject she liked to think about, honestly.

Not that it mattered anyway, to be fair, since it was really just a matter of time before  _somebody_  found out and they were forced apart, with all the fallout that would entail. And it was fear of what that fallout might be that still forced those sneaking thoughts of breaking this… thing off into her head at those inconvenient times.

Never those times when Phineas was around - no, he had a way of making that sort of thing not seem as… immediate. It was kind of weird in that way. She always knew _exactly_  how dangerous what she and Phineas were doing was, and she was always acutely aware of just how sour things could go if they were found out. But his laid-back attitude about the whole thing was a strange sort of comforting, in a way - like, it was  _those_  times that kept coming back to her when she thought about the riskiness of the whole thing, and although the stress of trying to stay on top of the secret was almost enough to make her pull her hair out, it was those times that made her keep on trying anyway.

That, and the fact that her brother was so obviously happy with things. She would've felt guilty for spoiling his mood with her worries. It wouldn't have been right - she could figure out  _something_  on her own. And if that something was just to suck it up and deal with it, well, wasn't that what you were supposed to do with these sorts of things anyway? If Phineas was really supposed to be her… her boyfriend, then it was the least she could do.

And so, for the next few days, she alternated randomly between trying to enjoy this new thing, and  _actually_  enjoying this new thing, and stressing out over this new thing. It was an uncomfortable place to be caught, for sure, and she wasn't entirely sure why she put up with it.

Still, for the time being, at least, everything was going okay - if by 'okay' you meant 'a series of hair-raising close calls'. Which, of course, you wouldn't - because no normal person would - not that Candace's life could ever be called normal.

Take the very next day, for instance. For some reason, Stacy had decided to come over early in the morning and hang out all day. Any other time this wouldn't have bothered Candace in the slightest, but now? All it meant was that she got to be on edge all day long, watching her brother to make sure he didn't do or say anything that might give away the secret. And that, in turn, meant that she wasn't able to give her full attention to the day's project.

Oh, she tried, alright. But having Stacy hanging around, and with her the always lurking possibility of somehow being found out, it really just fell flat. She horribly miscalculated how much concrete mix they'd need, accidentally leaving a few zeros off the end of the order, which resulted in them running flat out of the stuff halfway over the Atlantic Ocean.

Of course, Phineas and Ferb didn't seem to mind all that much, but that wasn't the point. The point  _was_  that messing up like that was something that never happened, at least not to this degree. And she knew it, and she could tell by the way Ferb looked at her that  _he_  knew it, and it was probably only Phineas' obliviousness that kept him from realizing the root behind it. And most frightening of all?  _Stacy_  knew it, she was sure.

And Candace felt as if her friend's eyes were always on her, watching and waiting, to find that  _one_  time she'd slip up - and seize upon it, ready to… to do something with it. Something unpleasant, and probably  _very_  much so.

She tried to be subtle. She tried to act normal. It shouldn't be hard - why would it be hard? But every time she tried to reason herself down from the heights, she would only come up with new and worsening reasons to worry.

What if Phineas said something a little too… unsiblinglike while Stacy was still in earshot?

What if one of Irving's drones crashed and got recovered by someone else - someone who would watch the tape and recognize the actors in it?

What if Stacy went to leave, but came back because she forgot something, and walked in on them in the middle of something?

There were just  _too many_  scenarios that could happen. Too many! And it drained her energy to worry about them, leaving her utterly unable to focus on the task at hand.

Still, she did her best despite  _all_  those things.

But apparently all her efforts failed - because she almost messed up again, bigtime. Thankfully, Ferb reached out and covered the red button before she pressed it unknowingly, otherwise that could have been very,  _very_  bad.

"Oh - oh, sorry," she tried to explain. "Uh - my bad. Whoops."

Ferb stared at her for a moment, then turned back to his own work. Candace breathed a small sigh of relief, thinking she'd managed to avoid a confrontation. But she was wrong - for a second later, Ferb turned back to her and cleared his throat.

Though he didn't speak, she could tell by the way he was staring at her that something was up.

"What?" she asked defensively. "I said 'my bad'. Sorry! I'm just a little distracted today, I guess." She glanced through the window of the control room, out to where she could see Phineas eagerly chattering to Stacy about something or the other, and winced. It would be just  _so easy_ for her brother to accidentally let something slide and mess up everything. She had to go out there and make sure that  _didn't_  happen - and quickly. Abandoning the bridge controls, she turned and began walking from the room.

But when she tried to actually leave, Ferb stepped in front of the door.

"What?" she asked again.

He raised one eyebrow and gestured to the panel behind her. She turned back, trying to see what exactly he was holding her up for - oh.

"Ugh - sorry!" she repeated, stepping back to the controls and quickly tapping out the combination needed to keep the place online without anyone there. "Why didn't  _you_  just do that? I'm kinda distracted right now, as you can  _see_."

Ferb shook his head. "Because I don't really care about the bridge controls," he said matter-of-factly. "I care about the concrete mix and the upside down solar panels and the magnets and the levitation interface and the faulty wiring and all the other things. Including the controls. You're very, very distracted today - it's Stacy, isn't it?"

Candace grimaced. "Is it  _that_  obvious - wait, upside down solar panels? I didn't do…" Her voice trailed off as she saw Ferb shaking his head. "Oh, you have  _got_  to be kidding me. How many of them were upside down?"

Ferb shrugged slightly, gesturing with his hands spread widely apart.

"Oh, great," Candace groaned. "I swear I'm not doing this on purpose. Honestly, I'm not. It's just - like, even right now, I should really be out there. Phineas is - you know how he is! He can't be secretive to save his own life, and it would only take one wrong thing to completely ruin  _everything_  and it's only been what, a week yet? and I'm already tired of worrying about this but I  _have_  to worry, because if I don't, who will?"

Ferb blinked.

"Well,  _somebody_ has to!" she continued. "And trying to stay on top of Phineas is hard enough by itself, but I get so nervous that even when we're in private - we might only  _think_  we're in private and then get caught - and having to flee to a distant planet whenever we want to do - do couple stuff is inconvenient and would get really taxing on the budget really fast and so the only real option I have is to suck it up and deal because that's what you do… but it's so  _stressful_ … and I  _know_  I'm not handling it as subtly as I should be, but I'm trying my best, really I am."

She stopped and took a deep breath, winded from the rant.

Ferb reached up and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced around the room for a moment, as if deciding what to say - or being Ferb, deciding if he should say anything at all.

She hoped he would hurry up and decide - she really did need to get out there and salvage what was left of the situation. Still, for some reason, she waited. Ferb didn't say much, so when he did say something, it was generally worth listening to. Unless it wasn't. She swore that if he was to just come with some cheesy one-liner right now...

"If this is how you feel after just these few days," he said slowly. "You should probably tell our brother that you want to end things."

"What?" she echoed, surprised. "No! I don't want to do  _that_  - it's not like - I don't -" she stopped mid sentence, somewhat surprised at her own violent rejection of the idea.

Ferb raised his eyebrows a bit, and an ever-so-slightly smug expression had crossed his face.

"Haha, okay, very funny." Candace rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes - I get it. You're very deep. It's not even like  _that_ … I mean, he's my  _brother_. I just… I don't know. But I can't ditch it, I mean, I don't want to." She paused. "To disappoint him. You know what I mean, right?"

Shrugging again, Ferb shook his head. A small, amused smile crossed his face.

"Ugh." She rolled her eyes again. "Just because I don't want to  _end_ it - that doesn't mean that everything's just going to magically fall into place. I mean, seriously. Do you know how stressful it is to have to keep this whole thing secret, yet Phineas is just somehow so carefree about the whole thing?" She threw her hands in the air. "It's like he just doesn't  _care_. And I don't know how he does it, but it doesn't work for  _me_ , whatever it is."

Ferb blinked and pointed out the window at the control room at Phineas, who'd since ceased talking with Stacy and now had the blueprint for the bridge out again, appearing to study it.

Stacy was still there, but she was a few feet away, fiddling with her phone.

"What?" she asked, not completely sure what Ferb meant by the motion, and not sure she wanted to know anyway.

Her brother rolled his eyes. He walked closer to the window and pointed directly at Phineas, then turned back to her.

"Phineas?" she asked. "You mean, like… what  _do_  you mean?"

He shook his head slightly. "Have you told Phineas about this?"

Told Phineas about this? About… how she worried about this whole mess that was their attempt at going out?

"Pfffft," Candace scoffed. "I can't tell  _him._ He doesn't worry about it, so he shouldn't  _have_  to worry about it. It's just me being… worried, even if for a very good reason. Besides, he himself said he was supposed to be my boyfriend now. Which, if true, means I  _definitely_ shouldn't. And he has to deal with Isabella, too. Which I… don't really know how that's going, honestly. Should I? I do kind of feel like I should because, well, you know how he is - but I hardly think I could handle  _another_  problem to worry about."

Ferb frowned again, shaking his head.

"Look." She was growing exasperated with this whole conversation, but was determined to try and make him understand anyway. After all, he was literally the only person on the planet she could talk about this thing with - barring Irving, which would definitely  _not_  be happening. Therefore, it seemed important to an inordinate degree that she convince him she was right - which she definitely was. After all, of the two of them, who exactly had already been in a relationship - admittedly not of this type - for over five years? It certainly wasn't  _Ferb_. "I would like to tell him, really I would. And if I thought he could solve the issue, then I would. But the thing is, I know he can't. Sure, we can sit down and talk about it for ever and ever, and I'm sure he'd be able to make me feel better… but that'd only last for a little while, then it would be even worse than before! You see where I'm going with this?"

Ferb only blinked stoically in response, prompting Candace to groan dramatically.

"Don't give me that! You know I'm right - and I know you know I'm right. Phineas is amazing at a lot of things, but even he can't fix this."

Tilting his head in thought, Ferb slowly nodded.

Candace sighed in relief, thinking she'd finally gotten through to him just how sticky this situation really was, when he spoke up again.

"You're right that Phineas cannot fix this - that's something  _you_  have to do. But talking with him about it is still… necessary, really. Given that you said you do not want to break it off - you must realize that this 'danger' you speak of will  _never_  be gone. Therefore, you must find some way to be at peace with it. And we both know that Phineas will be more than willing to help you in whatever way possible." He paused momentarily. "Even I will help you, if I can, though there are some things he may be able to do that I simply cannot, given that you are with  _him_ , and not me."

Ferb stopped and took a deep breath, obviously not used to such long-winded speeches.

Candace noted the action and smiled at it half-amused, but said nothing, still unsure of what sort of response would be appropriate.

"What exactly do you mean by  _that_?" she finally settled on, even though she knew full well what he'd meant.

Rolling his eyes, Ferb shook his head firmly, clearly indicating that, if nothing else, he did not intend to repeat himself.

She frowned at the motion. Well, now she was back to square one, wasn't she? This whole conversation had been absolutely useless. She hadn't gotten Ferb over to her point of view on things, instead he'd only told her the same thing over and over again - along with reassurance that these worries would  _never_  go away, which, frankly, was not what she needed to be told right then.

Plus, she'd completely lost track of Phineas while talking, and could only imagine all the things he was letting spill out even now. Every passing second was a second that they could be found out - and making sure that didn't happen was going to be a full-time job.

She turned back and around and opened the door of the bridge control room, and this time, Ferb made no move to intercept her when she walked out.

"Oh, hey, there you are -  _finally_ ," Stacy said, suddenly appearing behind her.

"Agh!" Candace jumped what had to be thirty feet into the air. "Why'd you - don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry?" Stacy replied, seeming a bit confused. "I mean, I was just standing there waiting for you to come out. But it's no big deal." She paused for a moment. "So, I'm probably going to head off in a little while, but I thought I might as well get the grand tour before I left."

"Huh? Oh, uh, okay, I guess." Candace glanced around. "Where's Phineas? Did you talk to him - what'd you talk about? Nothing weird, I hope? Look, no matter what he said, you can rest assured that it's not that way, like, just tell me what he said and I'll tell you what part of it is not true - all of it, of course. You know."

Stacy raised one eyebrow. "I mean… all he did was ask me for my sister's number and if she'd told me anything about Isabella. To which I said that no, no she hasn't. Not much else, really."

Oh. Candace breathed a slight sigh of relief. That was okay - but she'd probably still made it out here not a moment too soon. Any slower and, well, you never know what could happen. Although in this case, she knew  _very well_  what could happen.

"So where's Phineas now?" she asked. "Do you know?"

Stacy shook her head. "No, he said something about needing to fix, uh, derivatives or something, and ran off. I haven't seen him since."

_The derived geothermal nucleomagnetic suspension hyperdrives, probably,_  Candace thought.  _But I'm sure I already did those? Oh, dang it. I hope I didn't mess those up too. That would probably explain why we've been having all those issues with suspension._

Well, that was embarrassing. Phineas wouldn't be  _too_  upset, she was fairly sure, but again - here was one more piece of evidence that anyone who looked closely enough could easily pick up on. This was the kind of thing she needed to put a stop to. If it had been anyone but Phineas, really, it wouldn't be half so stressful - but her brother was just so  _bad_  at figuring out which topics to stay away from. And with the amount that he loved to talk… the implications were very,  _very_ worrying.

Suddenly remembering that Stacy was still standing right there, she started violently. "Hi! What were you saying again?"

Stacy raised one eyebrow. "I didn't say anything…?" She shook her head. "I mean, I do have to get home eventually - I know you're not done yet, but it's getting kinda late and I figured you'd want to tell me what all this thing does."

"Oh, uh, yeah, for sure!" Candace stammered. It  _was_ getting late, wasn't it? They didn't have much time left before the Force would whisk the project away into the sunset. And Stacy was right - they  _still_  weren't done. And she tried to tell herself it was just because a five-thousand-mile-long bridge was too big a project for three teenagers to complete in one afternoon, but she knew that wasn't true. And though she knew her brother would likely never bring it up, the delay was doubtless irking him - having more to do with the many mistakes her distraction had led her to make than with the size or complexity of the project.

Stacy slid her phone into her pocket and waited. Oh, right! Candace was supposed to be explaining this thing.

"It's, uh, it's nothing special really. Just a bridge. That was supposed to go from our backyard all the way to Dad's parents' house in England." She grimaced. "But I don't know if we'll actually make it today."

Stacy raised one eyebrow. "That's pretty unusual, isn't it? You guys not making it, I mean."

Candace swallowed. "Well, not really, I mean, sort of. We do generally manage things like this - but sometimes it just doesn't work out. You know, like, today." She tried to smile innocently, but apparently didn't quite make it, as indicated by the slightly amused, slightly confused expression that crossed Stacy's face.

"Yeah, for sure…" she agreed slowly.

"Right!" Candace announced, not liking that tone of voice and determining to change the subject to avoid it. "So, uh, this here… is a bridge. Our bridge. And that… is the Atlantic Ocean. We're kinda randomly in the middle of it."

"So I have observed," Stacy replied dryly. "The cell signal  _sucks_  out here."

"It does," Candace agreed. "But what do you expect? Anyway, that's… kind of it, really. It's just a really, really long bridge. Oh, that floats above its supports via magnetic levitation - like some trains do, only on a much bigger scale. It's for future-proofing, really. You know - tectonic plates and all that. Over the course of a century, the ocean floor'll shift by almost thirteen feet. Having the bridge not solidly anchored to its supports will allow it to remain perfectly stable even despite that."

"Also it'll help it resist hurricane-force winds!" Phineas' voice announced enthusiastically from behind her. "Summertime  _is_  hurricane season out here, after all. The Tri-State Area's too far inland to really get any, though we occasionally catch the tail end of one as it's dying. Out here, though? Entirely different story."

Candace nodded. Yes, that  _was_ true. Wait, Phineas? Where did he come from all of the sudden? She could feel herself growing nervous again.

_Just stay calm, Candace, stay calm. As long as you make sure to pay attention, you'll be able to stop him from saying anything. If he does, which I_ totally _bet he will, just any minute now. And I have to be ready._

"All this fuss about 'future-proofing' seems a little weird," Stacy noted. "Isn't this whole thing going to disappear anyway?" She looked down at her phone for a second. "In, like, an hour or something?"

Phineas looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah, you're probably right. I mean, we could've probably thrown together a rickety structure made of wood and had it hold together long enough to last the afternoon. But where'd the fun be in that?"

"Well, I'll let you be the judge of that, I guess," Stacy replied. "Considering I don't really see the fun in  _any_  of this. But, hey, you do you and all that."

"Yes, for sure!" Phineas turned to Candace, and for a moment, she grew irrationally afraid that he was going to try to make some…  _inappropriate_  gesture. Okay, in all fairness, even given what he'd told her of how he felt, that was still probably the farthest thing from his mind right now. But that didn't mean that it couldn't still slip out unwittingly, right? Her fears weren't  _completely_ unjustified. "Speaking of which, we really don't have a lot of time left before Mom finishes her errands - she just texted me asking if there was anything we needed before she checked out." He paused. "I finally got the maglev generators working properly so we can actually try and finish this thing before that."

She should probably apologize, shouldn't she? After all, it was her own distraction that led to all these delays in the first place. But apologizing for the delays would mean admitting to causing them… and she couldn't do  _that_ , not with Stacy right here. And admitting that she messed up something so simple as a magnetic field intensifier would  _definitely_  tip her off that something was going on - and that that something was a  _very_  big deal.

She could bring it up to Phineas later, if she really felt like it. Later when they were alone, or at least away from people from whom they were supposed to be hiding this thing. Which would be... everyone, really, aside from Ferb.

"Oh, uh, yeah, totally," she answered at last. "Uh, I mean, what's left to do?"

...even the fact she had to ask that was proof enough how terribly nervous this whole thing was making her. It wasn't that she didn't trust her brother… no, it was exactly that. Not when it came to secrets. And even all the times he'd tried to reassure her, the times he'd told her that he'd do his best to keep it under wraps - not even that could help, considering it was exactly what she was afraid of.

Phineas didn't seem terribly fazed, at least. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled paper. As he unfolded it, she saw it was the blueprint.

"Not a ton," he said, holding it out where she could see it. "The magnetic repulsion pillars are all in place and fully operational. We just need to extend the actual bridge part of the bridge. There's about fifteen hundred miles left to go. Barring any more setbacks, I think we can  _just_  make it."

_Barring any more setbacks_. Right. Even though he hadn't said - or even implied - that the setbacks were her fault, she knew that they were. Well, at least she had a very good reason for being so all over the place. If Stacy would just  _leave_ , honestly, it would be much easier to focus.

It sounded wrong to be thinking that, didn't it? It certainly made Candace feel guilty. Wishing for her best friend to go away - even if it was for an admittedly good reason. She didn't  _want_  to lose her friends over this, especially not Stacy. And pushing Stacy away would definitely start putting that at risk of happening. What were the options, though?

There were only two, really. Either end this thing with her brother, so that there was no longer anything to hide; or let it continue, and keep trying to socialize with her friends while acting like nothing at all was going on.

And when it came to the idea of ending her and her brother's new… thing, well, it didn't sit well with her. It would certainly be a lot easier that way, she supposed. Going back to the way they'd been for almost fifteen years now? It was certainly preferable to being a nervous wreck like all day today.

But as she looked over at her brother, who was still eagerly studying the crinkled blueprint in his hands, her brain for some reason tossed that idea  _right_  out the window, settling on 'nervous wreck' instead. Well, it was fair enough. Nothing bad had happened - yet, of course. And when that bad thing inevitably did happen, it would  _not_  be fun.

Was it even worth this? Candace hardly knew. Phineas must've felt her eyes boring into him, because at that moment, he lifted his to meet them and smiled at her.

It was so  _weird_ , really, to be looking at her brother in this light. Of all the weird things in her life, this had to be the weirdest, by far. She still couldn't believe she was even going along with it sometimes.

No one in the history of time itself had ever called Phineas Flynn 'soothing'. Boisterous, exuberant, and infinitely cheerful were far more accurate descriptions. And he hadn't changed a bit - he was still every bit as much those things as he'd been a week ago. And while Candace was pretty sure that she hadn't changed either - something had happened, and she wasn't quite sure what.

A thick fog of silence accompanied by the sloshing of the waves below had settled down on the incomplete bridge. But it was suddenly dashed to pieces by the sound of someone loudly clapping their hands - Stacy.

_Stacy_.

"What, no, I - we - nothing!" Candace spluttered, feeling herself turn very red. "Don't - don't do that!"

Phineas glanced back at the blueprint, then back at her, for a moment a look of genuine confusion crossing his face.

"I mean, I'm sorry," Stacy said, seeming somewhat amused. "I was just trying to get your attention - I  _did_  just asked three times whether you'd want to go shopping or something after you're done here, but you're both staring off into space like a couple of mindless repulsive pharmacists or something." She raised her eyebrow.

"No we weren't!" Candace hastily replied, sounding a little more defensive than she would have liked. "It was, uh, just - just nothing."

She reached over and grabbed ahold of Phineas. "Come on! Let's get this done - we don't have time to be standing around doing nothing if we want to finish this thing before Mom gets home!"

"Oh, I mean, yeah, that's true, I guess," Phineas said, still sounding confused as she pulled him away - back towards the bridge control room that was not more than a few feet away, away from Stacy.

Ferb glanced up from the control panel as she burst in, dragging Phineas behind her, and shutting the door firmly behind them.

"Hey Ferb!" Phineas greeted brightly. "I got the problems all worked out, I think. So we should be good to resume construction now."

Candace felt exasperation rising inside her at the way her brother had apparently just completely forgotten about what had just happened. That was sort of thing she was supposed to be  _preventing_ , not - not whatever had just happened.

"You  _do_  realize what just happened?" she asked at last, trying to keep her voice from going  _too_  high.

"Huh?" Phineas glanced over at her. "Oh, well, I mean, yeah. You  _are_  right - that probably wasn't the ideal place, but it was just a small slip." He grinned disarmingly. "I don't think that Stacy's one to make the leap from 'a few seconds of staring' to 'they must be, you know, dating'."

See? This was exactly the reason that she was so worried about Phineas' keeping the secret. Because his brain worked like  _that_  - which could be a good thing in a lot of ways, but not in this one. Not at all.

"You don't get it, Phineas!" she exclaimed. "This is how it all breaks down. First little things like  _that_ , which aren't much  _by themselves_. But they add up! And they'll just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger and eventually something big will happen - and what then? Every time something little happens, it's just another chink in the dam and eventually it  _will_  give way and once it does - once it does, I won't be able to stop it." She paused for breath. "I can just see Stacy out there now - thinking to herself, 'hmm, I wonder why they were staring at each other?' Oh, you know who  _else_  stares at each other? Lovers, Phineas, that's who."

Phineas frowned slightly. "Doesn't that seem like kind of a big leap of logic to make?"

"Well, I mean, I guess so," she relented. "But that's not the point! The point is she  _could_  make it. It may be a big leap, but it's not  _that_  big. And if she does make it - well, we're  _screwed_. And she could be out there right now making it - and we'll never know until it's too late to stop."

"I mean, it's not like it would be too difficult to know," he pointed out. Before she could stop him, he stepped over to the door and and pushed it open.

"Hey, Stacy," he said. "Sorry about that."

Candace winced slightly, taking a step backwards, farther into the room. This was it, then? The end was upon them.

"It's fine," she heard Stacy say. "What was that all about, anyway?"

Phineas reached up and scratched behind his ear. "Nothing."

"Oh." There was a pause. "So, where should I hang out when you guys start working again? Got some specific place?"

Well. That… had worked out surprisingly easily. She could feel Ferb's eyes on her, and turned to face him.

"What?" she hissed. "Just because it worked out this time doesn't mean it'll work out  _every_  time. I'm still right, you know."

Ferb just blinked and shrugged, prompting her to roll her eyes in annoyance. He still didn't get it, did he? For all that explaining she'd tried to do - he still couldn't understand. At least, if he did, he wasn't acting like it.

"Come on, Candace," Phineas said, the sound of her own name snapping her out of her thoughts. "We don't have much time left - let's make the most of it."

"And I will stay in here," Stacy announced, planting herself on one of the chairs in the control room. "All this seeing nothing but water on the horizon is making me seasick. I don't really know why I decided to come out here in the first place."

"Well, we do have a teleportation interface set up if you want to go back to Danville," Phineas replied. "Do you?"

She shook her head. "Nah, it's alright. If I went home I'd probably have to clean my room anyway. This way, I don't have to. Plus… yeah." She laughed. "I'm just shirking responsibility. Bad, I know. Oh, well. Might as well do it here, right?"

"Fair enough." He turned back to Candace. "Let's get this going, shall we?"

So Stacy was going to sit in the control room, then? Candace already felt guilty for it - but something about the idea made her feel more at ease. As long as Phineas was with her and Ferb, and they were out in the middle of the ocean were no one else would be - this was probably the safest the secret was going to be in a long time. She had better enjoy the relative security while it last, because it was not going to persist for long. Candace had never been one for secluded, out-of-the-way places, but if she intended on continuing to date her…  _highly indiscreet_ brother, then she just might have to get used to them.

For the next thirty or forty minutes, however, everything flowed relatively smoothly. No one was around that might accidentally learn something they shouldn't - and that fact alone helped her relax a considerable amount. It was to the point where, by the time the Force decided to bring the afternoon to an end, she'd not made any more horrific mistakes and was generally able to laugh and admit that while the early part of the day had been disastrous, at least the last little bit had been fun.

Like all good things, however, it had to come to an end. And it did - even though it was a perfectly clear and sunny day, a bolt of lightning streaked down from the blue and struck the generators for the magnetic repulsion that supported the bridge. The generators went into overload from the sudden surge of power, pumping far too much electricity into the electromagnetic repulsors, increasing the strength of the field to the point where the entire bridge was shot off into the sky.

Thankfully, Candace  _did_  have her phone this time around. They hastily made their way back to the control room. She grabbed Phineas' hand, he grabbed Ferb's, who in turn took Stacy's.

"Alright," she told her phone, "Take me home."

There was a brilliant flash of purple light, and then - there they were.

Teleportation was an amazing thing, wasn't it? Yes, yes it was.

"Whoa," Stacy said, looking a bit unsteady on her feet. "That was… interesting."

Phineas pulled out a small tracking device and studied the screen on it. "Well, it seems our bridge has just become a space bridge. Based on its trajectory, it'll…" he paused. "...it'll fly straight away from Earth for a while until it gets sucked up by Jupiter's gravitational field, probably falling into the planet." He stuck the tracker back down into his pocket. "Well, that was still a pretty good day, if I do say so myself. Oh, hey, there you are, Perry."

He turned back to Stacy. "Want to join us for pie?"

Candace's eyes widened slightly. No, this wasn't good! All the relaxation and enjoyment of just minutes prior rapidly drained away. As selfish and unfriendly as it may seem, Stacy just  _couldn't_  join them for pie. For the rest of the day Candace was going to have to worry to no end about Phineas revealing the secret to their mother or father - and getting either busted for it, or eaten alive by the Mysterious Force. Frankly, of the two options, she couldn't say which would be worse.

Still, that was plenty of people to worry about without Stacy, too. And as much as it made her feel guilty for thinking it - it really  _would_ be better if Stacy didn't stick around. They could talk on the phone or something. That would be fine. Just not in person.

Thankfully, it seemed Stacy had the same idea, if for entirely different reasons.

"I'm gonna take off now," she said. "It's almost half-past-three and I really do have stuff to do at home." She paused. "I'll call you this evening, 'kay?"

"Yes, yes, yes! Thank you," Candace agreed, incredibly relieved. Wait - she hadn't sounded  _too_  enthusiastic, had she? That wouldn't be good either. "I mean, sure, yeah, that's fine."

Stacy raised one eyebrow but said nothing else of the matter. "Alright. Talk to you later. Phineas, Ferb - see ya."

"Bye!" Phineas waved.

As Stacy turned and disappeared out the fence gate and down the driveway, Candace could practically feel the tension thinning, if only by a little bit. There was still a  _lot_  to worry about, but at least this would be part of it - for the time being.

Immediately after, Linda appeared at the sliding glass door and invited them all in for pie.

The pie was good. The conversation - with its constant threat of spilling more to their mother than she should know - was not nearly as good. Having to constantly listen to her brother to be ready to warn him off any subject he should get too close to touching, and knowing that she would likely not be able to stop him in time anyway, made the whole thing uncomfortable and difficult to get into.

By the way Ferb would look at her, she just knew that he knew  _exactly_  why she was being so quiet. And by the way that Phineas took that silence in stride and talked enough for the both of them - she could tell that he did not.

Ah, well. It was Phineas. What could you expect?

When the pie was finished at last, Phineas went into his and Ferb's bedroom and shut the door. That action alone worried her to no end. What was he doing in there? It could be any number of things - of very,  _very_  bad things.

So she waited in her bedroom, nervously trying to strain her ears and listen through the wall, which worked about as well as it seemed it might.

Finally, however, he opened the door and came back out.

She didn't  _want_  to seem too - oh, forget this.

"Phineas!" She marched straight into her brother's room. "What were you doing?"

He glanced up from the desk. "Oh, hey. I was just on the phone."

"With  _who_ …?" she urged.

"Huh?" He blinked. "It was Ginger. I just wanted to know if Isabella was feeling any better - if she thought I'd be okay to go over there tomorrow."

"That was all?" she echoed. "There wasn't anything… you know?"

He shook his head and smiled. "Don't worry, Candace. I may be bad at secrets, but I'm not  _that_  bad. It'll be okay."

She exhaled loudly and sat down on the foot of his bed. "Yeah, right."

He nodded, obviously entirely missing the sarcasm in her voice. "...well, she said she didn't know exactly, which is fair, I guess. I don't want to show up at the wrong time and make it worse like last time." For a moment, a worried look crossed his face. But he shook his head and smiled, and it was scattered in a moment. "Guess I just have to try. Won't know until then, right? So I will. Tomorrow, probably - though I did ask her to call me back if something major happens."

Candace sighed internally, once again wishing that she could as easily shake off her worries. But then again, her and Phineas' problems were very different ones. Sure, his was important. And it did concern the survivability of a lifelong friendship - whether it would recover from the stunning blow that had been dealt it, or would rot away into nothingness.

Which was important, really. She knew firsthand how much it sucked to lose something like that because of your own stupidity. But still - it couldn't quite compare to the constant stress that she was having to deal with over their secret, now could it?

And  _that_  was the reason she couldn't just shake it off like him. It was a good one, she swore.

"Hey, guys. Whatcha doin'?" Linda walked into the room.

" _Meap_!" Candace felt as if her heart had leapt up into her throat. "Nothing! Nothing at all!" She could feel herself paling for no good reason at all.

She had to get  _out_  of here. Turning around, she pushed past their mother and darted through the hallway into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her.

Leaning against the inside of the door, she tried to calm herself with several deep breaths.

_Nothing happened, Candace. Nothing at all. It's alright. Nothing happened._

She sank down to the floor as she listened to the conversation outside.

"Whoa," Linda said. "She seems… nervous today, hmm?"

"You know, you're right," Phineas agreed slowly. "I wonder why that is. I wonder if… huh."

"Well, whatever. I just wanted to let you know that we're having leftovers for dinner. So don't expect much tonight."

"Leftovers? Sounds good to me."

"I had a feeling you'd say that. Well, I'm off. Be easy on your sister."

Candace rolled her eyes, then sighed again.

Was being this on edge all the time really worth it? It was  _really_  starting to wear her down. But how was she supposed to relax at all with something as sensitive as their secret in someone like Phineas' hands? The only real alternative was to defuse the bomb before it could go off - to break it off with Phineas  _now_.

But if she'd decided, for whatever idiotic reason, that she didn't want to do that, then there really was nothing she could do about it.

This whole thing was rapidly spiraling out of control, and she didn't know how much longer she could take it.


	22. Dominoes

_Today's the day_!

Such was the first thought in Phineas Flynn's mind upon waking up the next morning.

And today  _was_  the day indeed. Yesterday he'd called Ginger Hirano on the phone, assuming - based on Isabella's one slip of the tongue - that Candace's friend's sister had been  _his_  friend's main comforter and confidant in this whole situation, as he had been Candace's. And he'd been right, apparently, which was a good thing. The next option would have been tracking down and going through all the Fireside Girls' phone numbers one by one, something that would have been kind of a pain to do.

But it didn't matter, because his guess had been correct, and Ginger's exact response to his question of yesterday had been, "I don't really know. She talks a lot about you, you know - and also about something that she refuses to specify to me no matter how many times I ask. So I guess… maybe? She's been pretty broken up over this whole thing. It's actually been kinda scary, in a way. Still, I think the worst of it's past - but there's no way to tell for sure."

Which, to be fair, was a ridiculously inconclusive answer. But it hadn't been a 'no', and he was going to seize that opportunity for all that it was worth. It had been almost a week now since he and Isabella had had their original falling out, and while his newfound relationship with Candace had certainly helped him not think about it - because that was  _great_ , really it was. Just amazing. - it still couldn't quite completely cover the hole left by the lack of his best friend. And with every passing day, he became more determined to reconcile with said friend, no matter how long it took.

Plus, he really did feel bad for blowing up at her like he had - and if nothing, she certainly deserved an apology for that. As well as many thanks for, despite all that had gone on, still not revealing his and Candace's secret.

He crawled out of bed and quickly dressed for the day, wishing Ferb good morning when his brother opened his eyes and stretched, signifying that he, too, was awake. Breakfast passed quickly by, as they talked about the upcoming day and what they just might end up doing today. About halfway through the meal, Candace appeared downstairs, looking somewhat disheveled but alright despite that.

"Good morning, Candace!" he greeted. "Rough night?"

She rolled her eyes. "Like you wouldn't believe."

Well, that was a little worrying, but at least it'd worked out in the end. She did seem quieter than usual this morning, but that could easily be due to a night spent tossing and turning in bed. Personally, he'd slept just fine, despite being the tiniest bit nervous about what he was going to do this morning. There really was no point in being nervous, after all, no amount of worrying beforehand would change Isabella's reactions. The knowledge of that fact eased most of the worry, except for a very, very tiny part that still lurked in the back of his brain.

But that was okay, too. Because, worry or no worry, he had set his mind on doing this, and nothing was going to sway him from his goal. And so it was, as soon as the meal was over, he bid his brother, sister and girlfriend, father, and mother goodbye - setting out across the road to the Garcia-Shapiro house.

The sky was bright blue, with slight traces of the bolder sunrise colors still remaining on the horizon. Small puffy white clouds drifted here and there, driven before the gentle breeze. Larger, darker clouds lurked on the horizon, giving off the impression that the pleasant weather might take a turn for the worse before long.

It only took him three minutes to reach his destination across the street. Honestly, he still wasn't sure what he was going to say, but something needed to be said, and he still had a better idea of what that something should be than he'd had before.

Stepping up onto the porch, he pressed the doorbell and waited patiently for a response. For a moment he wondered if calling ahead would have been a good idea - but no. It was always better to apologize in person if you could manage it.

A minute or two passed, before the lock clicked and the door swung open.

"Oh, hello, Phineas. How are you?"

"Hi, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro. I'm good, thanks." He paused. "I just came over to see Isabella. Is she in?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yes, certainly. Come in - she's just in her room." A smile crossed the woman's face. "Does this - never mind. Let me know when you leave, I have something for you to take back across to Linda for me, if you don't mind."

"No, of course not," Phineas agreed. "I'll be sure to let you know."

He stepped inside and walked through the neatly organized kitchen into the living room. He'd not been inside Isabella's house for a good few months, but the place was still familiar to him. Through the living room, then turn left through the hall, past the master bedroom and the closet and the bathroom, and there was Isabella's room at the end of the hall.

He stopped in front of the door and knocked.

"What?" Isabella's voice came from inside.

"Hey, Isabella, it's me. I came over because, well, I wanted to talk to you."

There was a long pause from inside the bedroom, and he grew worried that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. But then, he heard the sound of wood and springs creaking and the door opened a crack.

"Hi."

Well, she didn't seem particularly  _thrilled_  to see him - but that was to be expected after all. So, how to start? Maybe it would be best to just jump straight in. Well, given his lack of other alternatives, that was the plan. He cleared his throat.

"First, I just want to say I'm sorry. For… yelling at you. A couple of days ago. I shouldn't have done that."

She blinked. "Well… thanks, I guess."

"And, uh," he wasn't particularly sure where to go from here. "I guess… also, thank you for, you know, not telling Ginger about… you-know-what."

She visibly stiffened at that. Had it been a bad idea to bring that up? He really was sincerely thankful for that - it would have been incredibly easy for her to tell just about anyone, but, she hadn't. Not even after their fight, which, admittedly, was his fault.

"Sorry," he quickly apologized. "I didn't mean to bring it up. I just wanted you to know that we really are thankful. It - it does mean a lot, you know."

By the look on her face and the lack of a response, he could tell that this wasn't the tack he should be pursuing. It was time to change the subject, and, with the realization he'd made yesterday under his sleeve, he was much more confident in his chances of success.

"Look," he started. "I'm pretty sure I started off all wrong yesterday. I've since been… informed, I guess, by Ferb - you know how much better he is at that stuff than I am - of that fact. So I want to start off by saying… well, I'm sorry for - how I reacted to figuring out about your feelings for me."

He paused again, still not sure if this was the best way to say this. In all fairness, it probably wasn't, but he'd just have to make do anyway. She still hadn't said anything, which wasn't really encouraging, but on the flip side, wasn't exactly discouraging either. It was time to just forge ahead, apparently.

"I was… upset. But I shouldn't have let that make me act like that. I'm sorry. And while I  _do_  still feel the same way, I also know that you didn't  _mean_  to upset me, and that you really were just acting on your - your crush. Which I can't blame you for, I guess." He tried to grin reassuringly. "I mean, I know what it's like to have one now. So I am sorry for how I came across. I tried to imagine how I'd feel if Candace said to me what I said to you… and I realized that I really,  _really_  shouldn't have."

Once again, she recoiled slightly away at the mention of his sister's name, and he suddenly became distinctly aware that it might be her discomfort at his relationship that was so coloring his attempts at reconciliation. Well, there wasn't really any way he could disentangle the two subjects, was there? After all, they were kind of inextricably linked, what with one having led to the other and all.

Still, he could do his best to avoid the one, if at all possible, even though he really did hope that he could eventually bring her around to it. If not to the point of full support, at least to some level of indifference towards it. He wasn't going to  _stop_  dating his sister over Isabella's thoughts on it, but it would be nice if his best friend didn't  _hate_  the idea, at least.

If he could manage to even get them back to the level of 'best friends'. Well, part of it certainly depended on her, but for his part, he was determined to make as much effort as was possible.

"So, basically, to make a long story short," he resumed. "I get why you're so upset. And I'm sorry I caused it, really I am. And while I'm sorry to say I still the same way about you, I shouldn't have gotten so upset at you. I realize that it may take you more time before you're okay again. But I just had to come over and say this." He glanced up and studied the roof for a moment. "That's all, really."

For a moment the hall was silent.

"Thanks… I guess." Isabella sighed. "I just… how could you have  _not_  realized how I felt about you for all those years? I just don't - didn't - can't understand."

"Oh, well." He grinned. "You know how I am. Kinda bad at this sort of thing. That's just me, I guess. It's-" He was just about mention how it was even a thing that sometimes made it difficult between him and Candace too, but decided against it at the last second.

"That doesn't even  _begin_  to explain it," she pointed out, a pouty expression on her face. "Like, really, I was so  _obvious_. If you were  _that_  blind then I don't know how you manage to function in real life."

He frowned. "Well, I wasn't  _purposely_ ignoring you or anything. I really just didn't know."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I understand that  _very_  well by now. My question is just… how? And why? You could like me, couldn't you?"

"I could," he said. "I think anyone could. You're great. But I don't  _love_ you because, well, I love-"

"Your  _sister_ ," she almost snapped. "Yes, I realize that too." She paused and shook her head. "I just don't  _get_  it, Phineas. I don't understand. How you didn't see all the times I tried to reach out to you, time after time after time; but yet you somehow decided that you were -" she paused awkwardly, as if unwilling to say the words. "You went after  _Candace_  instead, who not only is your  _sister_ , but also who's been entirely obsessed with Jeremy Johnson for like… ten years or some junk."

He could tell she was starting to work herself up again, and tried to intervene before it reached the breaking point once more, but she never gave him a chance to squeeze in even one word.

"I mean, it's  _insanity_! What's she got that I don't? I can name one thing that  _I_ have, for one - I'm not your freaking  _sister_. I just - I just don't get it. And I want to, I really do. But am I supposed to when it's something like this?" She paused finally and took a breath. "You  _do_  know that you can't actually do this, right? She's … it'll just never work out. You - you just won't be able to."

Phineas smiled slightly. "I mean, when have we ever let not being able to do something stop us from doing it anyway? I've found that the term 'impossible' gets tossed around a lot more often than it deserves."

She frowned deeply, her eyes shooting daggers. "That's not what I meant, Phineas, and you know it. There's a big difference between, I don't know, finding two integers whose quotient is pi or simultaneously measuring the mass, position and velocity of a subatomic particle and what you're trying to do." She raised her hand. "And I know you've already done those things, so don't even say anything."

"I mean, Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle was revolutionary for its time, but it's easily disproven if you know what you're doing. And you'd probably have to ask Candace the other thing, but I know she's done it at some point."

"And this is  _exactly_  what I'm talking about," she replied, rolling her eyes. "I don't know how you think you're  _ever_  gonna manage something like… what you want, when you still can't see that there's a difference between doing the mathematic and scientific impossible and trying to conjure up a meaningful relationship with… you know."

He opened his mouth, about to tell her that he  _had_  tried, already, and that it seemed to be going wonderfully even despite his own struggles with this sort of thing. Of course he knew there was a difference between the two - that had never been in doubt. Making two plus two equal five - say with fluid mechanics or something - was incredibly easy compared to this sort of thing.

But what was the end benefit in making two and two be five? Nothing, really, aside from perhaps the sense of achievement that you'd done so. And that was in stark contrast to what he got out of his relationship with Candace.

There was  _far_  more there than a vague sense of achievement. Simply the way he felt knowing that his sister returned his feelings - at least to the point where she agreed to be his girlfriend - was plenty. But there was so much more than that, really. And it was  _so_  worth it, to the point where even he, who didn't really like planning out beyond a single day in the future, had decided that he now knew how he wanted at least one part of the  _rest of his life_  to play out.

But Isabella was the person he was here for, not himself. And she still wasn't feeling, well,  _supportive_  of his new relationship with his sister. He didn't really know why - Candace was still his sister, after all, there was just something new on top of that - but it was okay. And maybe it would even change with time. Anything was possible, after all.

"I know there's a difference, I really do. And I get that it won't be easy, or that we won't be able to solve  _every_  problem that comes between in us in a single afternoon. But I know  _I'm_ determined to try even despite that - and I think we both are. Together, I really think we can do it. Still, like I said before, I can see that you're uncomfortable with the idea. So I won't bring it up at all, unless you want to, I guess. Is that - that's okay, right?"

She was staring at him blankly.

"What?" he asked, growing confused.

"We?" She blinked slowly. "You said - you said 'we'? 'us'? 'together'? You can't… I'm sorry. You don't - can't - this doesn't mean that this whole thing  _isn't_  just some - some weird fantasy of yours?" She shook her head, seeming unable to process the idea.

"Fantasy?" he echoed. "I mean, I guess you could call it that, if you wanted. It does seem like it is sometimes. But then I remember it's  _not_ , and-" He shook those thoughts out of his head. That wasn't supposed to be part of this conversation, right? "But I thought-"

"You - you're actually - you already - you - what - I -  _what have you done_? NO, no, no - I  _don't_ want to know. You keep that freaky stuff  _far_ away from me."

Phineas wasn't quite sure how to react to  _that_. He'd assumed this entire time that Isabella already knew this to be true. But apparently she didn't…? How exactly did that work? And how did she find out in the first place, again? He'd assumed that she'd simply seen through him in the same way Ferb had, but if that was the case - well, admittedly, she  _hadn't_  been over to the house since their first… clash over this almost a week ago.

"I'm sorry?" Was apologizing even appropriate right now? "I - I didn't know you didn't know. I mean, I figured you already knew. About Candace and me, I mean-"

"Already knew? No, I - I mean, I knew that you had this weird thing going on," she took a small step back into the bedroom. "But I thought - I figured - I mean, I was like 'Surely he won't seriously pursue this.' And I know you said you - you don't feel for me, but I thought, just maybe, with time, you know, things happen. And since you  _obviously_  couldn't do anything with this whole - this  _thing_ , that you might sort of just fall backwards - and, you know, I could catch you. Even as just a second option." She hesitated. "I never thought that - that you'd actually be  _doing_  - that you'd actually  _pursue_  it."

"Okay, well I  _guess_  I shouldn't have assumed you knew," he admitted. "I sort of forgot that you haven't been around for the past few days. Which is my bad, really."

Yes, that had been a bit of an oversight on his part. Even after she'd been missing from the daily projects for almost an entire week, somewhere in his mind he'd just assumed she'd somehow seen what had gone on during them - basically, that she'd been there. It was the force of habit, really. They'd stuck to the same schedule for years and years now, and having so much change in the course of a month or two was certainly difficult to get used to, even if some of the changes were  _amazing_.

She blinked at him, and laughed shortly, but it was not a happy sound. "And I guess I really should have seen this coming. I mean, I have known you for how many years now? And every summer, all summer long, you decide you want something - and then you do it. Why should this be any exception? Nothing escapes you, does it?" She retreated into her bedroom and sat down on her bed. "I sort of assumed that your  _sister_  would have more common sense than this, though. But what do I know?" She threw her arms up in the air. "I was here. I was  _always_ here. If, you know, you wanted a  _healthy_  - a  _normal_  place to turn your emotions towards. But no! Because 'normal''s just not in your vocabulary, is it?"

Phineas frowned. "Isabella… look. I get that you don't like this. I get that it's for multiple reasons. But I'm not asking you to like - or even to  _stop disliking_  it. Or anything to do with it at all. I just came over to apologize for yelling at you the day before yesterday and ask if, well, to see if you're feeling any better. Because I realize that having a crush for so long like you did and then to see it suddenly… made impossible must be very unpleasant."

"Unpleasant?" she scoffed, crossing her arms. "That doesn't begin to tell the half of it, Phineas. So much for feeling better, hm? You know, I thought I was doing alright this morning. I figured that maybe, although you wouldn't figure it out right away, eventually you'd realize that you could  _never_  have whatever weird thing you wanted with - with your  _sister_. And I figured, this might be my chance. Because you'd want  _someone_  to go to. And who better to go to than the person who's now professed to loving you for  _eight years_? It wouldn't be an ideal start, but it would be a start, and I would be completely fine with it."

Phineas inhaled deeply as she continued.

"But no - instead I get slapped in the face with the fact that the love of my life turned me down for his  _sister_  - and even worse -  _that he's already actually started doing this creepy thing_. Against all odds, right in the face of common sense." She flopped back on the bed. "And how's that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Okay," he agreed. "I mean, it probably doesn't. I don't even know how we got into this subject, really. It wasn't my intention to bring it up - I know it upsets you. I'm sorry."

"Upsets me?" she asked dully. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." She paused for an inordinate length of time. "I - I just can't. You - Candace - you… how? Just - no."

He awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say. It really seemed like she couldn't get past what was happening between him and Candace. Even though he could admit that it was somewhat a part of things, it really didn't have  _that_  much to do with this, did it? It really was making this thing hard.

If she was broken up over his rejection of her crush, then an apology and attempts at comfort would be warranted - assuring her that he did still want her as his friend, and just because he didn't want anything  _more_  didn't mean that part to change. And the fact that he'd fallen in love with his sister  _shouldn't_  have that much to do with anything, after all, he would probably have acted the same way had it been anyone other than Candace, right?

Why was the fact that it  _was_  Candace such a big obstacle when it really, really shouldn't be?

Okay, okay, he knew at least part of the reason. Yes, yes - incest and societal rejection of the idea and all that. But, really, shouldn't Isabella, of all people, know that he'd never let those things stop him before? And why should he let it stop him now, of all times? And if the problem was that she didn't believe that he could actually have real feelings for Candace, well, again, why was  _this_  improbability any harder to believe than all the other things she'd seen - and helped - them do?

He began to wish that she hadn't figured him and his sister out in whatever way she had. This part of things, at least, would certainly be much easier if she hadn't. Despite all his thought on the matter, he just couldn't think of any real  _reason_  that she would get so stuck on the idea like this. It all seemed so... arbitrary, and he couldn't really address the root of the problem if there was no root at all.

Well, he had to say  _something_. And since it was already such a huge roadblock to the resolution of this thing, he might as well wade right in and address the problem directly.

"Okay, Isabella," he started. "I don't know what I can say to make you feel better. And I'm not even going to talk about what's between me and Candace because, frankly, it has nothing to do with this. And-"

"Nothing to do with this?" she broke in. She pulled herself back up into a sitting position, uncrossing and crossing her arms again. "Right. Nothing to do with this. Nothing at all. Just… yeah. Sure. As long as you think  _that_ , I guess."

He frowned again, but didn't reply, not wanting to leave without making  _some_  progress in the right direction, at least. Maybe he was trying to take it too quickly - trying to tackle the issues with her old crush and her dislike of his new one all in the same day.

Wait - that might actually be it. Why hadn't he realized it before? It would make sense, at least - when he'd been trying to help his sister, he'd pretty much just sat back and listened for a lot of the time. Listened as she talked on and on about her worries and fears and how much it hurt - and in addition to being upset for her, he'd also felt strangely satisfied with the knowledge that she felt comfortable enough to tell him all those things - things he was pretty sure she probably wouldn't tell… well, just about anyone, really.

And now, he really should be looking at this situation the same way, right? Maybe the only thing he should concern himself with today was making sure she knew that he hadn't meant what he'd said before. All the rest could wait - until  _she_  was ready to deal with it.

Armed with this sudden epiphany, he took a deep breath and launched into speech.

"Isabella, right now, all I want you to realize is that what happened on the day before yesterday - I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." He shook his head. "That's it."

Her eyes dropped to the floor. "Well… yeah. I mean - what are you trying to say exactly? You can't just up and convince me to go along with this ridiculous idea! I don't know how you managed to pull Candace down into your whole mess, but you're sure not doing that to  _me_!" She looked back up and in his general direction, her face slightly flushed.

Phineas' eyes widened slightly. "Wait, no, that's not what - I wasn't - I didn't mean it like  _that_. Where would you get  _that_  idea?"

This was slowly and steadily growing more frustrating than it had any right to be. It knocked at the back of his mind like a woodpecker on a tree trunk. What had he done wrong this time? Not mentioned Candace, not mentioned Isabella's feelings for him, not mentioned his lack of feelings towards her.

Literally just apologized for losing his temper. That was all. And now she'd somehow gotten _this_  idea from somewhere?

"Because," she answered, her voice skipping across several pitches. "Because  _someone's_  got to have the common sense around here. And it's  _never_  been you and it's apparently not Candace either." She rocked back and forth on the bed. "So apparently it falls to me - just like everything else in our relationship  _ever_  did."

He sighed. How  _many_  times was this going to come up? He was running out of ways to gently remind her that he'd never felt for her the same way she apparently had for him. There were only so many ways you could do such a thing. Maybe it would be best just to be direct on this point, and make sure it was firmly established.

"Isabella, I'm not trying to be mean. But we  _never had_  a relationship. Not in the way you wanted. And maybe that was my fault, and maybe it wasn't. But if there ever was a chance - it's not there any more. And you may dislike how I've supplanted that chance, but the fact remains that I  _have_. And it's not going to change."

For the briefest of seconds, there was silence.

"Well, I know that  _now_!" she burst out. "Thanks for taking the time to come over and make sure I know quadruply-well that everything I ever dreamed of is gone! That's - that's _just_  what I needed! Thanks a lot!"

No, no, no - this wasn't helping, and it definitely wasn't good. She was getting upset again, and he really didn't know how to defuse the situation - which wasn't helped at all by the fact that, in large part, he  _was_  the situation.

Still, he  _was_  trying here. But he could only do so much on his own. If Isabella wasn't willing to work with him on this, nothing would ever get done. But this was the second time he'd tried this - and it didn't seem like it was shaping up to go any better than the first. Obviously he was doing something wrong, but what?

Ferb would know. Honestly, what was he even doing? Trying to undertake this sort of of thing without asking his brother for advice on how to handle it? Well, he  _had_  talked to Ferb a little… but obviously not enough, as evidenced by the sheer difficulty he was having getting… anywhere.

Isabella took a deep breath, making a clearly visible effort to calm herself. "Look, Phineas, I know what you're doing, okay? Well, maybe I don't - but I know well enough what you're  _trying_ to do. You've made very sure of that. And I  _don't_  know what you don't get about me saying that you  _can't_. I know you don't like thinking about that concept, but there are some things in this world that you just  _can't do_. And this - this is one of them. It's not an option, Phineas." She paused momentarily and a distinctly uncomfortable, almost pained look crossed her features. "I'm not - not even taking into account what's between us."

Phineas exhaled forcefully at  _that_ , but remained silent as she continued.

"I'm serious." She pressed on her temples. "Even  _aaaaaall_  that aside - you still just  _can't_  do this. It's wrong - and it'll never work - for so many reasons that we'd be here all night if I tried to list them all. I mean, honestly. I don't know how you managed to rope your - your sister into this, but it's never going to work out. It - it just  _can't_."She collapsed back onto the bed, and took several long deep breaths in a row.

"Isabella…" he replied slowly. "I know that's the way you feel. And I'm not gonna try to convince you otherwise. But I didn't come over here to debate the validity of my relationship. It's between me and Candace, isn't it? All I-" He stopped abruptly as she held up a hand in the air.

"Don't."

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't. I don't want to talk about this anymore." Her shoulders shook slightly, and he suddenly wondered if he should go and sit next to her. But her hand was still outstretched forbiddingly, preventing any such notion from taking hold.

"Oh, well," Phineas' brow furrowed slightly as he tried to interpret her meaning. "I mean, it's kinda foundational to dealing with-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it anymore. Please… can you… can you…" her voice caught on itself several times, and it sounded like she was about to break down in tears. "Can you just - just leave me a-alone?"

He blinked - then blinked again.

"What?"

It was a reflexive question, really. He reached up and ran his hand through his hair, puzzled by the sudden shift in the conversation. There was something in her voice - it strongly reminded him of the way Candace had sounded way back - back when she'd  _just_  broken up with Jeremy.

"Are - are you okay?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized that it had been the wrong thing to say. It was the same thing he'd said to Candace, and it hadn't done anything then except make it worse - admittedly, that was all he seemed to be able to do here either.

And it hurt him to see his friend so upset, too, but the approach he'd taken with his sister just didn't seem… like it would work. Because although like Candace, Isabella was mad, and upset, and probably heartbroken - unlike Candace, she was all those things at  _him_. And he wasn't sure how to get past that.

Isabella hadn't answered his question, and by the way her shoulders were shaking, he began to develop a feeling that it was because she wasn't  _able_  to.

Okay, well, there was one thing that he  _could_  do - what she said. This was obviously a bad time. There was a good chance that there would never be a good time - that he was never going to be able to get past this. Someone else would have to comfort her, to talk her through this - someone like Ferb?

He  _had_  offered, after all.

Still, he didn't want to leave her alone - not like this. It wasn't right for someone to be alone in this shape.

"Isabella," he said slowly. "I'm - uh - I'm gonna go now. It, well, I don't seem to be doing any good. And I don't know exactly what you're thinking - but I do want you to know that I  _am_ sorry. And I'm sure that doesn't help but…" he looked around at the various objects scattered about the room. "...but it's really all I know to say right now."

When he'd been trying to help his sister, it had been way different. Candace, well - after he'd made incessantly clear that he did not intend to leave her alone until she was feeling better - she'd opened up to a shocking degree, rambling on and on about everything under the sun. Even some things that he would have preferred to have not known, but now knew anyway.

And a lot of the time he hadn't had to say  _anything_ , but sit there and wrap his arms around her and listen as she ranted and cried and ranted some more. Which was kind of good, considering half the time he hadn't known what to say anyway.

Isabella wasn't reacting the same way - clearly. Maybe it was because she just had a different personality, maybe it was because she was mad at him still, maybe it was for any number of other reasons that he couldn't think of right then. And there was something out there - something, that, if he said it, would be the  _right_  thing to say. And would do… something.

At least get Isabella to say that she did still want to be his best friend, when this whole mess had resolved?

"I - I'm gonna go now." He took a breath. "If you do want to talk to me, you'll call me, right?"

Reaching down into his pocket, he produced his phone, and found Stacy's sister's number again. As he left her bedroom, he stopped briefly in the hall to let the phone ring. After just a few seconds, it connected with a tiny  _click_.

"Hello?"

"Ah, yes, hi Ginger. It's Phineas again." He cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice down.

"Oh, hi, Phineas. What's going on this time?"

He frowned slightly. "I'm just now leaving Isabella's. It… didn't go well."

"What happened?" The girl's voice was suddenly hinted with concern. Well, it was certainly justified, and matched his own feeling as well.

"I don't really know," he admitted. "I think I may have said the wrong thing or something. I came over today to try to apologize and make up, but we ended up talking about… that thing and she started getting mad at me again and talking about how we had a relationship. You know, beyond just friendship. And I didn't get mad or anything, I just said, as calmly as I knew how, that we didn't. And that, because of - of reasons, that we won't. But that doesn't mean we have to cut all ties or anything like that." He paused for breath. "And then she just - well, I think she started crying and told me to leave her alone. And I don't know what to do."

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line.

"Phineas…" Ginger said at last, a note of scolding in her tone. "You said - you said  _that_? I mean, what were you expecting to happen?"

He was taken slightly aback by the question. "I - I don't know? I mean, I knew that she was upset and hurt, but I thought maybe I could make it better if I made sure she knew that I'd still be here - just not in the way she wanted me to be."

There was a long, drawn-out sigh from the other end of the line. "Seriously? That's - no offense - but that's about the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day. I can  _not_  believe you seriously thought that." She stopped for a moment.

"I'm sorry?" he offered, suddenly feeling foolish. "I didn't mean to make it worse, really I didn't."

"You shouldn't be apologizing to  _me_ ," she pointed out. "Look, I'll probably end up over there again today, I guess, based on what you've told me. Now, I'm sure as anything not going to bring you up, but I can call you if you want, when I leave."

"Oh, yes, please do," he replied. "I'm gonna talk with Ferb and maybe write down some notes on  _exactly_  what I should say. And I'll give her some time. Do you think… two days is good?"

"Oh my  _gosh_ ," she answered. "Phineas, you can't keep trying to fit this sort of thing into little boxes like that. It could be two days, two minutes, or two years. Or anything between." There was a sort of hesitation, as if Ginger was collecting her thoughts. "I mean, Stacy told me that Candace told her that you were the one who helped her through her breakup. When you were doing  _that_ , did you try to schedule her recovery? I hope for her sake that you didn't."

"No, no," Phineas hastily clarified. "I didn't. Not at all. I mean, I didn't have to do much at all for her. I was just… there, for the most part. I don't really feel like I  _did_  anything specific." Well, that wasn't entirely true, of course - but he was worried that in giving more detail he might accidentally let something slip that could clue Ginger into his new relationship with his sister.

Even so, it was  _mostly_  true, for sure.

"Well, that's good, at least," Ginger replied. "I haven't seen much of anything, but I hear from Stacy that you must've done a half-decent job, at least. Now how come you can figure out how to do that with your sister but not with Isabella?"

He wasn't really sure how to answer to that, but in one moment she continued on anyway.

"Whatever - it's not important. I guess you're closer to Candace or something. That's fair. Either way, you've got to realize that it's pretty much got to be the same way with Isabella, too. I can't say when she'll be calm enough to actually  _talk_  to you again. No one can - not even she can, I'm sure, at this point."

"Oh." Phineas' expression fell a little. "I mean, yeah, you're right. I knew that, I did. It just… I wasn't really thinking about it."

"Not to be rude, but obviously not." Ginger sighed. "Either way - I can't stop you from trying as much as you want, but you've gotta realize that Isabella's very hurt by your rejecting her. And she's mad at you for the same thing."

"I know, I know," he repeated. "I really do. I just - I guess I'll just give her more time. Thanks anyway." He paused for a second. "You want to come over this afternoon?"

"I mean, I've got some stuff to do of my own that I can't really reschedule at the last second like this. But thanks for the offer. Maybe some other day."

"Oh, right. Yeah. So… goodbye, then?"

"Talk to you later. Bye."

With another quiet  _click_ , the line disconnected. Phineas turned back to Isabella's door, only to find it shut. He thought about trying to see if it was open, despite that, but eventually shook his head and turned away. Even if it was open, what good would that do him? He was still utterly clueless about what to make of this situation.

So, home it was - it was just going to be him and Candace and Ferb and Buford and Baljeet again. Well, that wasn't so bad, really. It was just… disappointing. Another two days without his best friend at his side.

Ferb  _had_  offered to talk to Isabella for him, hadn't he? Maybe Phineas should have taken him up on that offer. Ferb certainly knew better how to handle these sorts of situations.

It did seem sort of… undesirable to have his brother do this for him. But if it would end up working out better, there was no reason not to take the opportunity.

"Hey, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro," he greeted as he passed back through the living room. "I'm leaving now. You said you had something for me to do?"

"Oh, yes!" She sprang up from the couch and momentarily disappeared into the kitchen, coming back out with a big glass dish. "Here you go. This is your mother's. Gracias, Phineas!"

"You're welcome." He walked out the front door of the Garcia-Shapiro house, the knowledge that all he'd really done was make things worse making him feel rather guilty.

Arriving at home once more, he slid the dish into an empty spot in the cabinet and then walked through the living room to the sliding glass door. Pulling it back, he stepped out into the backyard.

"Phineas!" Candace exclaimed, quickly dropping a roll of paper on the ground and coming over to his side. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Buford and Baljeet are here - you've got to be  _careful_ , okay?"

He could tell by her strained tone of voice that something was bothering her, and he was pretty sure he knew what it was, too. Related to the strange scene yesterday when she had literally screamed and run out of his room and locked herself in the bathroom for an hour? Almost definitely.

"Okay," he whispered back. "Don't worry. I'll be fine."

He kind of wanted to talk to  _her_  about this mess that he kept digging himself deeper and deeper into. Which was natural, probably, considering she was his older sister and his girlfriend - and both of those roles came with being able to dispense advice or at least encouragement. But he could tell that she wasn't in the mood to talk about anything like it. Which was also okay - he had Ferb, who was always ready to listen to Phineas' rambles.

The fence gate creaked open, and he half-turned to see Stacy walk through into the yard.

"Hey, everybody," she greeted. "I'm back again."

"Stacy?!" Candace exclaimed, her voice verging dangerously close to cracking. "What are you doing here?" She paused momentarily. "Not that I mind - I don't really, I swear it - but it's weird, kinda. Are you sure you want to be here? No, no you don't. Come on, off to the Googolplex with you. Shoo."

Stacy raised one eyebrow and shrugged. "Nah, I don't feel like the mall today. I just wanna come over and… satisfy my curiosity. About… nothing particular."

Candace nodded rapidly and eagerly, her hair going every this way and that. She really  _did_  look frazzled, Phineas realized. He wasn't quite sure why - so far, nothing really had happened that would put their secret at risk. Unless it'd been before he'd gotten here? That was a possibility, however unlikely. Ferb was definitely not going to be the one who put them in danger of being found out, and Candace was in general far better at keeping secrets than he was, so he doubted that she would either.

So what exactly had happened then? He'd have to ask her about it later today. Maybe it was something that he could help with.

"This is so weird, I swear." Stacy's voice came from beside him.

"Huh?" he glanced over at her.

"I mean, I guess it's none of my business. But it's so…" she paused, apparently feeling his gaze. "Oh, hey Phineas. Just talking to myself. Nothing important."

Oh. Phineas nodded and smiled. "Well, come on then. If you're gonna hang out with us today, you may as well get some choice in what we do." He gestured for her to follow him to where Ferb was examining a stack of papers on the grass. "It'll be fun."


	23. Subspace Wormhole Generator

It had now been almost exactly three days since Stacy had begun disrupting her normal schedule. Disrupting it to walk herself over to the Flynn-Fletcher house every day, if only for a few hours on each day. When Ginger asked her why she was going over so often all of the sudden, the honest answer was 'I don't really know.'

She really didn't.

It wasn't exactly because the things that the Flynn-Fletcher children built were cool - although they were almost guaranteed to be - but she was used to that by now, and wasn't so enthralled by them as she might have been in the past. They certainly did make for a nice bonus, though, as long as she  _was_  over there in the first place.

It was stupid, really. At first she'd been able to justify it by saying that she didn't have anything else to do - and then by saying that she didn't feel like doing anything else. But as she walked through the neighborhood streets for the third day in a row, even that flimsy excuse crumbled somewhat in her mind.

Okay, well, it wasn't like she needed a reason anyway, right? Candace had been her best friend since… like, ever, for all practical purposes. Which was certainly a part of why she'd so suddenly started visiting every day, because Candace had suddenly started acting  _weird_.

It had all started happening that day on that giant-turbo-flying bridge thingy over the ocean, or whatever she'd called it. Stacy'd been talking to Candace and her brother, and kinda out of nowhere, they'd both started staring at each other like they knew something she didn't. And when she'd cleared her throat multiple times to no avail, she'd finally loudly clapped her hands, trying snap them out of whatever trance they'd fallen into.

Except - and Stacy said this as someone who'd known the eldest Flynn child for many,  _many_  years now - Candace had  _flipped out_. And dropped their blueprint or whatever-it-was on the ground, and physically dragged her brother away into the room with all the levers and buttons that controlled the bridge.

Of course, Phineas had later said that it was nothing, which Stacy was inclined to believe, not generally being a suspicious person by nature. But it wasn't just that - it was a whole series of things. And the more days in a row she made her way into the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, the more they kept happening.

And occasionally Stacy thought of Irving's picture, before dismissing such an utterly foolish idea.

Whether there was a possibility of a taboo relationship or no, however, something was certainly going on in the yellow-walled house on Maple Drive - that much even she could see.

Candace had always been an… easily excitable sort of person. And sometimes Stacy got the distinct impression that Candace was trying, in her own not-so-subtle sort of way, to push her away from the yard. She had yet to actually bring herself to straight-up  _tell_  Stacy that, but it was… pretty obvious at times.

The amount of times that Stacy'd heard, 'Are you sure don't want to go to the Googolplex? Of course you do. Well, bye, then. Have fun!' or something similar was evidence enough of  _that_.

And Stacy couldn't really come up with a reason that her best friend would want to push her away. She'd entertained the idea of it being a surprise of some sort - but that notion barely held water at all. Her birthday wasn't for many, many months now, and Christmas was even farther away than that.

It was more like there was a secret of some sort - something that she wasn't supposed to know. The knowledge that her best friend might well be keeping something from her kind of stung, if she was being honest.

And so it was that Stacy disrupted her normal schedule yet  _again_  - and went over to the Flynn-Fletcher house early on in the morning, only just after breakfast.

As she walked through the fence gate again, the overpowering sense of something not being right once again filled her senses.

"Hey, guys," she said flippantly. "What's up today?"

"Stacy!" Candace sprinted over from across the yard. She…  _wow_ , she looked kind of terrible.

"Hey, Candace… you sure you're feeling alright?" Stacy gestured up to her own face. "Your eyes are all bloodshot and you've got these bags going on. It… is not a look that suits you."

"Ha ha ha, no!" Candace blurted out. "What're you talking about? I don't know! Just run along now, it's been great to see you. Bye!" She laughed nervously again.

See? There it was again. How could you  _not_  be suspicious of that? It was certainly very, very strange.

She shook off her friend's attempt to convince her to go and walked across the grass to Phineas and Ferb under the tree.

"'Sup?"

"Oh, hey, Stacy." Phineas glanced up at her. "Not much. I just got back from Isabella's house again." He hesitated slightly. "I would really like to be able to solve it on my own but I don't know if I can anymore."

"What's exactly going on?" she asked, remembering Ginger talking about something like this during the past couple of days. Could this be what Candace was so worried about her finding out? It seemed… highly unlikely. But not impossible? Maybe. It was worth a shot.

"Oh, it's… nothing." He looked somewhat uncomfortable, but still shook his head. "Me and Isabella have been… not exactly on the best terms recently. For… a variety of reasons. I don't know exactly if it'll work out, though." He paused. "Tomorrow'll have been four days since I was last able to see her - since today I got turned away at the door - and that's when Ferb said he'd go over and see what he could do. So I guess we wait and see?"

"Sounds upsetting," Stacy agreed. "I hope it turns out okay."

Phineas nodded, and seemed about to say something in reply, when they were both cut off by a sudden shout.

"Hey!" It was Candace's voice, of course. Stacy almost rolled her eyes as Candace barreled across the yard towards them. "You two can't be talking!"

"Oh, sorry," Stacy apologized half-heartedly. "I forgot I can't talk to your brother anymore." She could see in Phineas' eyes a strange amalgam of confusion and understanding that didn't really serve to shed any more light on the situation.

"I mean - you  _can_ ," Candace spluttered. "It's just - it's like - not right  _now_. Because, uh, you know, not right  _now_! Because, uh, we have a project to do - don't we, Phineas?!"

"Yes, yes we do," Phineas agreed. "There's no particular rush but-" Candace grabbed him by the arm and looked at him for a moment. "-but we might as well get started now, I guess. Come on, Ferb. I know what we're gonna do today."

Stacy crossed her arms and watched as Ferb stood up from where he'd been sitting on the grass.

Although this whole morning seemed weird, it actually was pretty standard for the past couple of days. And it was a standard that Stacy was quickly growing tired of. Candace was her best friend - what on  _Earth_  could all this fuss be about? It was absolutely ridiculous, and it made her annoyed to think about.

Something was obviously being hidden from her - that much was clear. And where Stacy really didn't think she'd care so much about what the secret  _was_ , exactly, what she  _did_  get annoyed at was the way her friend made absolutely  _no_  attempt to hide it. It was almost as if Candace was  _trying_  to let her know that something was up, and she was fast getting fed up with it.

But what exactly could she do about it? Twice now she'd tried to directly ask Candace what exactly was going on, and twice now she'd been brushed off with some near-unintelligible excuse that doubtless made no more sense to the giver than to the receiver.

It'd been something along the lines of "What're you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about - you're not talking about anything! It's nothing - there's nothing! I'm - nothing's different. Nothing at all." Then Candace had stammered out some obviously transparent excuse about having to use the bathroom and run off inside the house. At first Stacy had waited for her, but after standing around for thirty minutes, had gotten exasperated with the whole thing and had gone home without getting an answer.

And, in retrospect, she strongly suspected that was  _exactly_  what Candace had wanted.

Stacy didn't consider herself a 'nosy' person, not really. But this… well, any reasonable person could see that  _something_  was up. Even  _Buford van Stomm_  had agreed to that, for goodness' sake, and though Stacy didn't really even know him that well - they'd agreed on that pretty quickly.

"Somethin' be up," he'd said with a shrug. "Though I can't say I care 'slong as they keep wowin' me with their crazy stuff. When that quits - then I'll get interested."

Which was a fair enough position - though Stacy'd been glad enough just to hear that she wasn't just seeing things.

"Certainly," Baljeet Tjinder had assented when she'd similarly quizzed him. "It is almost as if Candace is trying to keep something from our view - I do wonder if she realizes how suspicious she is being?"

"You know… I don't really think she'd be able to  _not_  know," Stacy remarked. "But after all this time… I can't be sure."

"Most assuredly quite a convoluted scenario," he'd replied. "But it is also nothing which concerns me, I suppose."

But it concerned Stacy. She'd been Candace's best friend so many years now… if this didn't concern her, then she frankly didn't know what would. But obviously Candace herself was determined to keep whatever it was under wraps. So who else could she go to?

Well, the only other real option she had was Phineas - or Ferb. Of course, if she  _really_  wanted to dig deep, then she could go directly to the source of the weird picture that sparked this whole thing off in the first place.

But that idea seemed distinctly undesirable. If that picture was fake - which she still ascribed the title of 'Most Likely Option' - then what did it say about its creator? Certainly not good things, to be sure.

And if it was real… well, that was equally creepy, though for a slightly different reason. Either way, Irving du Bois was definitely a no go. And as she suspected that most people did - she'd always struggled to talk to the silent one of the two brothers. So Phineas it was, then. Would he know anything?

Well, there was a chance.

But she'd have to wait until a time when Candace wasn't around - or, if the past couple days were anything to go by - she'd grab ahold of her younger brother's arm and physically drag him away mid-conversation.

And as the day wore on, Stacy realized that if anything, Candace's vigil was unceasing and nigh-impenetrable. The day's project was some sort of thingy that could open portals on flat surfaces. You just opened one here and one over there, and  _BAM_!, you could step through one of the two and immediately be out the other one, no matter how far away it actually was.

Or, as it turned out, stick one at each end of a slide, so that when you reached the end, you'd slide into the bottom and come out the top. Endless sliding, with no work at all.

And three separate times she tried to get a chance to broach this subject with Phineas, and three times Candace had been ready to come between them and make sure that no such thing happened.

And now that she'd actually  _determined_  to talk to the boy about this thing, to be constantly prevented from her goal was more annoying than it had any right to be. It made Stacy more and more sure that her friend, for whatever reason, did  _not_  want her to talk to Phineas, for some reason.

But Candace wasn't perfect - and eventually she slipped up, if only for a few minutes. But by this time, Stacy was ready for it, and a few minutes was all she needed.

She'd been standing in the shade of the endless slide, listening to Buford and Baljeet going around and around on it, when she saw her opportunity. Candace motioned for Phineas to go over to her, and then leaned down slightly and whispered something into his ear.

Phineas looked confused and said something to his sister that Stacy couldn't hear. Candace shook her head vigorously and said something back. Phineas shrugged, then turned and followed her inside the house.

The glare of the sun off the sliding glass door made it difficult to see inside from this angle, but Stacy squinted and she was pretty sure that she saw Candace disappear up the stairs while Phineas sat down on the couch just inside the living room. Now - this was her chance. She wasn't going to get many, so she'd better make this one count.

Hastily abandoning the backyard, she made her way across the grass to the sliding glass door and pulled it open. Sure enough - Phineas was sitting on the couch, alone.

"Oh, hey, Stacy," he greeted as she stepped inside.

"Where's Candace?" Stacy asked.

He shrugged slightly. "Bathroom. You can use the one in Mom and Dad's bedroom if you need to go too."

She shook her head. "I don't need to. I wanted to ask you something instead." Not waiting for a response, should Candace suddenly appear at the base of the stairs, she hurried on. "Surely you've noticed how your sister has been acting for the past… almost a week now? It's really super weird - and she  _refuses_ to talk to me about… well, anything and I can't figure out why. I won't lie - it's really kinda getting on my nerves. And I want to ask you - do you have  _any_  idea what's going on?"

Phineas seemed hesitant to answer, which only served to increase her own suspicion - she knew from vast experience that he was hardly moved to hesitation by  _anything_. But there was no mistaking the flash of uncertainty in his eyes as he awkwardly moved his left hand up and scratched behind his ear. "I… can't say that I do?"

"Oh, come on," she insisted. "I know you have to have seen all this stuff. I know that Candace's not… the calmest person, but honestly, have you  _seen_  her recently? She acts like she hasn't gotten a wink of sleep for the past week. And everytime I try to ask her what's going on, she just brushes me off."

"She does seem stretched rather thin," Phineas agreed slowly. "I  _did_  ask her if she was okay with everything going and she insisted that she was fine - that nothing was going on that I should be concerned about."

"And you don't believe her, of course," Stacy finished the sentence. "Because obviously  _something's_  up."

Once again, Phineas hesitated for an uncomfortable length of time. "No… I mean… there isn't anything, of course." His hand moved up to his ear again, and he scratched himself again.

"Oh, please," Stacy scoffed. "You can't seriously believe that?" She paused. "Wait a second - you're in on it too, aren't you? I mean, I had to wait until she was in the bathroom to get a chance to talk to you because - believe me - I've tried before and she just drags you away. Like this morning, for instance. What in the world is going on here?"

"What?" Phineas chuckled nervously. "I - I don't know what you're talking about. If there's anything Candace wants you to know, I'm sure she'll tell you." For the third time in their short conversation, his hand went up and scratched at the space behind his ear.

"What is that?" she suddenly asked. "Some kind of nervous tic?"

"What's what?" he asked, his hand falling back onto his lap.

She gestured up and mimicked his oft-repeated action. "The whole 'scratch-behind-your-ear' thing. You've done it like three times in as many minutes. Unless you've got, like, lice or something, you  _can't_ be that itchy."

"Did I really?" he echoed. "I totally did not realize that."

"Mmm hmm." Stacy nodded. "And it makes me awful suspicious. You do know something, don't you? Come on, just tell me, like, yes or no."

"Well…" he drawled.

She reached out and sat her hand on his arm, stopping it halfway up to his head.

"Oh," he chuckled slightly. "Guess I was doing it again. Whoops."

Stacy frowned. This wasn't being helpful. She was pretty sure that Phineas wasn't being completely truthful with her, but she didn't really have any way to prove it, and that was kind of throwing a huge wrench into things. "Yes, yes you were. Look…"

She paused, still not quite sure what was driving her to ask this question. It hardly deserved a second thought, and yet… well, it  _could_  theoretically explain what had been happening recently. And nothing else that she'd come up with could really do that, now could it?

"Look, Phineas, like a few days ago I was over and was looking at that Irving's tablet."

Phineas suddenly looked worried, which only served to tell her that she was on the right track.

Wait… how could  _this_ be the right track?

"That's… nice," he said. "What'd you see?"

She took a deep breath and slight step back. "Well, it was all kinda creepy, but still mostly normal stuff. There was one thing, though - I saw this picture of you and Candace." She paused as she saw his eyes widen slightly. Could this really be the right track? Surely not - surely he'd burst out laughing as soon as she finished and tell her that, no, such a thing could not be. "And in the picture, you were… well, you were  _kissing_."

She stopped and let the words hang in the air. "And not, like, one of those quick cheek ones. But, like, full-on making out." Even as she said it, she internally cringed at herself for assuming even for a second that such a thing could be remotely true.

"Oh," he said slowly. "I see."

"And, you know," she quickly tried to explain. "Of course, I figured that it had to be digitally edited or something, but Candace's been acting  _really_  weird lately - and it really seems like she doesn't want me to talk to you. Or even be around at all. I mean, you were there - you heard her trying to shuffle me off to the Googolplex. And you have to admit that… well,  _that_ could sort of explain all that."

"I guess it could," Phineas laughed slightly. "You know, if it… were true. Then I guess it could."

Stacy raised one eyebrow. Hang on just a second here. "So… it's not real, right? I mean, you  _are_  going to deny it, right?" She could hardly believe this tack that she was pursuing right now - a tack that kept going and going. And honestly, she wasn't sure how much farther it went, or if she wanted to find that out in the first place.

But the power of morbid curiosity compelled her.

"Oh!" Phineas started. "I mean, uh, y - yes. Of course."

But even as the words were halfway out of his mouth, his hand shot up and scratched that spot behind his ear. She noticed the action and cleared her throat significantly.

He must have realized what he was doing, because his hand froze and then slowly dropped back to his lap, while his face paled ever-so-slightly.

Okay… well, maybe she could give him the benefit of the doubt, right? After all, this was kind of… entirely outlandish. What exactly was she assuming again? That the picture of Phineas and his sister had been real - that they were at a point where that was something that they did together?

What point would that be, exactly? Whatever it was, it was not a point that siblings should reach together, for sure.

"Yeah," she said awkwardly, not really sure where to take the conversation from here. What was she supposed to do now, if she still didn't quite believe him? Straight-up ask him if he and his sister were on that sort of level together - the sort of level that people generally reserved for their romantic partners?

Or if that was the answer right there? If he and his sister viewed each other as…

She shook her head, trying to push the idea away. Nah, it couldn't be true. Obviously it wasn't. After all, Candace and Phineas were brother and sister, for goodness' sake. And after all, hadn't it been just the other day that… okay, well, nothing had happened. But surely there was something out there that could disprove the idea.

"You know what, I think I  _am_  going to use that downstairs bathroom," she remarked. "Be right back."

She turned and walked through the short downstairs hall that connected the living room and the master bedroom. But instead of shutting the bathroom door behind herself, she stood in the doorway and waited.

Okay - now about that reason - that reason that this whole thing wasn't obviously untrue, even despite the fact that Phineas had been acting awfully sketchy during their conversation. Like,  _awfully_  sketchy. She'd only just stopped short of directly asking him if  _he and his sister had made out_  - like the picture seemed to show them doing - and his only reaction had been, 'Oh.' And 'I see.'

' _Oh_ '!

_Okay, okay, hold on for just a second here_ , Stacy thought.  _Don't go jumping to conclusions here._

There were tons of other things - decidedly more normal things - that the secret could be. Like, uh - a birthday surprise? For her?

Well, no, that one was definitely not it, at least. Not unless they'd decided to get a four month head start or something. And from her own past experience with them, she knew that was hardly likely.

_Hang on,_  Stacy realized.  _I'm going about this all wrong. I've been trying to find evidence that it_ isn't  _true. But what I should be looking for is evidence that it_ is.  _Of which there will be none, of course, meaning that it actually isn't._

Now that made much more sense, in a weird backwards sort of way. After all - she similarly had no evidence contradicting the idea that… Ferb had a crazy double life, or something. But there was no evidence that  _supported_ the idea either - meaning that it couldn't be true.

Of course, that was sort of a problem in and of itself. Because she'd seen nothing  _but_  evidence that the Flynn-Fletcher's platypus was a lazy, mindless animal that didn't do much. Which, she now knew, despite all appearances - was the farthest thing from the truth.

She glanced around for the teal animal, suddenly wondering if she should try to seek and confer with it - him? Or something. She'd never done anything like that before - hadn't wanted to get her mind erased and all that - but surely this situation kind of warranted it, right?

Either way, looking for the animal  _now_  was an exercise in futility, she well knew. He was probably off doing… whatever secret agent animals did when they  _weren't_  acting the part of a mindless house pet. Thwarting evil? Something like that.

What exactly was she supposed to be doing again? Oh, right - disproving her ridiculous theory in the most counterintuitive way possible. Because, try as she might, she could think of no definitive reason that it could  _not_  be happening. Which, admittedly, was disturbing enough in itself.

Okay, well, there  _were_  reasons, but they weren't the sort of reasons Stacy was looking for. They were reasons like 'They're sister and brother and that's wrong' and 'Their parents would  _not_ be pleased if it  _was_ the case.' Reasons which were plenty good, in general, but could easily be ignored if one was inclined to do so.

And the part that she  _really_  didn't like was that those were the only reasons she could find. Because, if nothing else, this  _would_  explain Candace's strange behaviour, wouldn't it? She was obviously trying to hide something from Stacy.

And based on countless examples from the past few days, it was obviously something  _big_. But not just big, no. Because Candace acted as if Stacy finding out about whatever it was would be the absolute end of the world. Which  _strongly_  implied that it wasn't some innocent 'birthday present' sort of thing.

And it involved Phineas, in some way, based on both how averse Candace had suddenly become to Stacy talking to him - and how… uncomfortable he himself had seemed when she'd managed to talk to him anyway.

So… a big secret. That involved Candace  _and_  Phineas, while probably not being entirely innocent either.

Oh, yeah, and there was Irving's picture. Which  _could_  have been digitally created, mind you, but also  _could_  have… not been.

And what exactly would that mean?

Well, in the first place, everything would be changed - and probably quite violently. Things just  _didn't_  remain the same with that sort of thing going on in the background.

And, most disturbingly of all, if - if it  _should_  be happening, then this was the sort of thing that she could totally see Candace doing about it. And Phineas too, for that matter.

She didn't want to believe it, really. It couldn't be true - really, could it?

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of Candace coming down the stairs in the other room.

"Okay, Phineas," her voice came. "I'm good. You know the drill - we just have to be really,  _really_  careful. You know what would-"

"I do," Phineas interrupted. "Candace, Stacy just came in here and she was kinda worried about you. Also… I think that she-"

"Phineas!" Candace cut him off. "Where is she now?"

"In Mom and Dad's bathroom?"

"Then  _shhhh_! What if she hears you? You never know! Nowhere's safe, except for… nowhere! You can't just go assuming that people won't hear you! Ugh, I swear, if it wasn't for me, you'd be  _toast_. Let's get out of here."

"Well... okay," he slowly agreed. "I mean, I guess you're right. Sorry."

The familiar scratching sound of the sliding glass door could be heard, as it was pulled open, and then slid shut again. Stacy rolled her eyes slightly. Well,  _that_  hadn't been very… helpful. At least it practically confirmed that something  _was_ indeed being kept from her, but that point had never really been in contention anyway.

Either way, she was now just about over this. Whether or not it was her business - it was annoying. And she wanted it, whatever 'it' was , to be over and done with. Whether she knew it or not, Candace was driving everyone around her crazy with her erratic behaviour. Or at least, she was driving Stacy crazy. And she'd had just about enough of it, too.

_Well, forget this_ , she thought.  _I'm just going to ask her what's going on - and this time, I won't let her brush me off. I'm going to get a_ straight _answer from her, if it's the last thing I do. See, Mom? I can be focused, too. Because I'm sure as anything focused on making sure that this whole crazy thing ends right now._

How she was going to do that, Stacy hardly knew. But she'd try anyway - try and  _succeed._  Failure wasn't an option - if this persisted for too much longer, well, it had unsettling implications for her and Candace's friendship. They were supposed to tell each other everything! And if not  _everything_ , per se, at the very least not be so painfully transparent that they were hiding something, and straight-up lie to each other's faces about how there was nothing going on.

Heck, Stacy'd have greatly preferred had Candace at  _least_  said, "Yes, there's something I'm keeping from you. I'm sorry, but you can't know because of… some reason."

But no - instead, she tried to insist that  _nothing_  was going on, which was so obviously untrue that anyone could have seen it.

And it ended - right now. It was about time, too. Stacy often thought of herself as an enabler, and especially so for her often overworried friend. And she'd have been happy to content herself with never knowing exactly what was going on, but the way Candace was handling the situation was… okay, it was kind of maddening.

She left the bedroom, following Candace's and Phineas' path through the living room and into the backyard.

The project was still in full swing, but she couldn't have cared less about that right now. And, judging by Candace's actions, neither could she.

"Candace," Stacy said, walking up behind her.

Candace gave a slight start and quickly whipped around, a wide grin frozen on her face that could  _not_  have looked more plastic if it had tried. "Yes? What?"

Stacy glanced around the yard. Phineas was talking to Ferb and Buford and Baljeet had apparently gotten bored with the endless slide and were off in the far corner of the yard bickering with each other about something. It wasn't absolute privacy, but as long as they didn't raise their voices too high, it'd be fine. And in all seriousness, she wasn't  _really_  expecting Candace's secret to be  _that_  big of a deal anyway.

That's the way it always was with her - and it wouldn't surprise her one bit if this, too, should turn out to be some trivial matter.

"Candace, what's going on here - with you?"

"What?" Candace spluttered. "N - n - nothing! Why - why do you ask? That's crazy! You're being - being silly! I don't know what you're talking about." She looked back and forth quickly, and made a motion as if to run off.

But Stacy was ready for it this time - and she reached out and grabbed ahold of her friend's hand, preventing the retreat.

"What - what are you doing?" Candace stammered. She shot a strange look in Phineas' direction, then yanked her hand free. "I said that there's nothing! Why don't you believe me?!"

Stacy rolled her eyes slightly and wiped her own hands dry on her skirt. Wow - Candace's hands had been, like,  _super_  clammy. "Oh, come on. How subtle do you think you're being, really? I'll tell you: not very. And for the past week, you've refused to do anything or go anywhere with me, and you hardly talk to me, except on the phone. And you're obviously nervous for  _some_ reason - but when I ask about it, what do I get? Brushed off, told nothing's happening, when that's obviously not true." She paused. "Come on, you know I can keep a secret. What exactly is going on here?"

"I - I don't know what you're talking about!" Candace stoutly maintained, though her face had somehow grown even more pale. "Everything is - is perfectly  _normal_."

"Really?" Stacy echoed. "Really? Look - I heard you talking inside the house just now. So I know that  _something's_ up. And I just want to know if it's something that only you should know, why are you acting all crazy about it?"

"I - I'm not acting crazy!" Candace almost snapped. "You're - you're just wrong, okay! That's all there is to it, end of story. Now run along - I hear there's a sale of some sort down at the Googolplex. You don't wanna miss  _that_  do you?"

"There's  _always_  a sale at the Googolplex," Stacy replied coolly. "You're not acting crazy? And yet, there you go trying to push me away again. You're really not helping convince me there's nothing here, you know." She hesitated for a moment, and decided to try a new approach to this thing. "Come on, Candace - we're best friends. If you've got anything, you  _can_  tell me, you know. I won't be mad, really, I just - how you're treating me is sorta rude, if I'm being honest. And it's  _definitely_  annoying."

Once again, the thought of Irving's picture flashed into her mind, and she wondered if she should bring it up to Candace. Well… nah, it probably wasn't a  _great_  idea, considering how freaked-out she was already. And bringing  _that_  up would probably only make the situation worse.

"I - I…" Candace stammered before her voice trailed away.

For a second Stacy thought she'd finally gotten through to her, but the next instant that hope was again lost.

"I don't know  _what_  you're talking about!" Candace stubbornly repeated. "I - I have somewhere to be!" She looked over at her brother. "Phineas!"

He turned to her. "Yes?"

"Come on! I… need your help!  _Hurry_!"

"Hey-!" Stacy protested. She tried to reach out and stop Candace again, but this time she was a bit too slow, and she darted off into the house, leaving the sliding glass door behind her hanging open. "Phineas,  _come on_!" she shouted. Stacy stewed slightly, feeling herself grow exasperated. That… had not helped at all, except to confirm that which she already knew.

But she didn't  _need_  to have that confirmed any more. She watched as Phineas shrugged slightly and began walking across the yard into the house. On a sudden burst of inspiration, however, she quickly leapt forwards.

"Phineas, hang on!"

He turned back to face her as she caught up to him just after he'd stepped inside the door.

"I wanna ask you something." She took a breath and paused. "Maybe I should shut the door first." She reached out and slid the glass door behind her, making sure that no one in the yard could hear the words that were about to pass between her and her friend's  _little brother_ , for goodness' sake.

Phineas glanced awkwardly up the stairs that his sister had just run up. Stacy could tell from his eyes that he wanted to follow her up there, but he couldn't - not before she got this out.

"Okay, Phineas," she started. "You're probably gonna think I'm crazy. But I literally can't think of any other reason with half so much evidence for it as this - and yeah, that picture could've been faked, but it also could've not be, and I just can't say for sure and Candace is acting  _really_  weird and so are you and it's getting on my nerves now." She stopped for a breath. "And I'm tired of getting brushed off and having my questions dodged."

Phineas' eyes flicked back and forth from between her face and the stairs. "Okay…?" he replied at last.

She took a deep breath, internally steeling herself to ask such a question as she was about to do. "Phineas… that picture of you and Candace.  _Was it real_? And if - well, just answer me. Was it, or no?"

"I mean…" he slowly answered, his voice betraying his discomfort. "I can't say for sure - you know, Irving has a lot of pictures. I can't have seen them all."

Her eyes narrowed a bit. "I literally just said I was tired of people dodging my questions." She paused. "Okay, then, let me rephrase: Have you and Candace ever… done that? Or anything even remotely similar that would have a let such a picture be real?"

She wasn't sure how much clearer she could be, even if she couldn't quite bring herself to directly state what she was asking. It should be obvious enough, right?

Phineas reached up and scratched behind his ear. "I - I mean…" A distinctly pained expression had crossed his face. "No."

Oh.

Well, he'd denied it, then. Of course he would.

Whether it was true or not.

And her brain just wouldn't accept the retraction. Even as he shifted back on forth on his feet in front of her, she got the distinct feeling that he wasn't telling the truth - that he was  _lying_. It was just the… the everything, really.

His nervous tic that so suspiciously resurfaced when he was questioned about this subject, his lack of enthusiasm when it came to denying her accusations, and the general air of discomfort that oozed from him right now.

And, that, when combined with all of Candace's weird behavior over the past almost-a-week, and that awful, awful picture that Stacy was starting to wish she'd never seen, well, it was painting a frighteningly clear picture - and she wasn't sure how much more of that picture she wanted to paint.

Phineas spent one more second staring at her, then turned and quickly darted away up the stairs.

Well, there was only one find out for  _sure_. And so help her, she was going to see this thing to the very end, no matter  _where_  it led her. She'd had enough - it was time to get some real, clear answers.

* * *

This… was not good. That much Phineas knew for sure. He hadn't realized that Stacy knew so much - or that she'd even seen Irving's tablet full of pictures. Now he was regretting making Irving leave that thing unattended, because he was sure that Irving would never have let Stacy touch it otherwise. He had to let Candace know - if she didn't know already, because she  _was_ generally better at this stuff than he was.

He only hoped that Stacy had bought his direct lie down in the living room. He hadn't particularly  _liked_  doing that, but had realized that if this relationship with Candace was something he seriously wanted to maintain, then that would be likely not be the last time he'd be called upon to lie like that. And if he was going to have to do something multiple times, he might as well try to get at least half-decent at it.

"Candace," he hurriedly started as he turned into her room. "I've got-"

"Phineas!" she exclaimed, cutting him off. "Did you  _see_  what happened out there? That - that's  _not_  good! What if-"

But this was  _urgent_  - Stacy was just downstairs, and Candace probably didn't even realize that. "Candace, no, look, I-"

"You don't get it, do you?" she cried out. He could tell by her tone of voice that she was really, really frightened, and any other time he'd have wanted nothing more than to sit down and hug her until whatever it was that was frightening her wasn't doing so anymore. But he couldn't this time.

"No, Candace, seriously, it's-"

"Phineas, please, do you realize what this could mean? If somebody were to walk in on us, like, kissing or something, do you  _realize_  what-"

" _Candace_!," he hissed. "You don't get it! Stacy is right-"

" _-_ right here."

He felt the atmosphere instantaneously drop by a few degrees. Candace's eyes grew as wide as two saucers, and her spine instantly went ramrod straight. The whole room was so perfectly quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

"...I've gotta say, I did  _not_  see this coming. I mean, I sort of did, but to hear it actually confirmed - well, it's an entirely different ballgame. I… well, I don't really know what to say."

Phineas turned around to face her.

"So you  _were_  lying to me down there?"

He glanced back over at his sister, who was as white as a sheet, and looked like she could be knocked over with a feather.

Stacy shook her head slowly. "I can  _not_  believe you, Candace. I mean - just… seriously?"

Phineas was just about to protest that it wasn't fair to blame his sister - that it was his idea in the first place anyway, any of those things - or all of them, perhaps, but he never got that chance.

"I-" Candace managed to get one puny vowel out, before her voice cracked and she took a shaky step back. She reached out a shaky hand and picked up her phone from the dresser nearby.

Phineas' eyes widened slightly, and he raised an arm to stop her, but it was too late.

"T - t - take me - me  _away_."

"Locating  _away_ ," said a mechanical voice. " _Away_  located. Transpooooor-" the voice faded out as a brilliant flash of purple light flared up, momentarily blinding him. When it faded - Candace was gone. Uh oh.

"No!" he exclaimed. "That's …  _bad_!"

Where had she gone? Just… 'away'? That could be, well, it could be anywhere! And teleporting blindly to places that you didn't know were safe? What if it  _wasn't_  safe? Sure, the teleporter had a few built-in safety measures - a natural tendency to seek out a flat, level surface to teleport oneself to, for example - but what if 'away' was in the middle of the ocean? Or over the mouth of an an active volcano? Or on the moon?

He'd completely forgotten about Stacy in the heat of the moment, but now suddenly became aware of her presence again, of her staring directly at him.

"So what exactly is going on with Candace and you?" Stacy asked slowly. He couldn't tell from her expression if she was angry, in shock, or too disgusted to feel either of those emotions. But that didn't matter right now - right now he had to get to 'away'. Because that was where his sister had taken herself, and there was no guarantee that it was safe.

He reached under Candace's bed and felt around for the spare toolbox that he knew she kept under there. Ah, there it was. Pulling it out, he yanked his own phone out of his pocket and set about to unscrewing the back panel.

"Stacy!," he said, more loudly than he realized, "Call Candace, will you?"

"Wait, what-"

" _Call her_!"

"Okay, okay, I am!" She pulled out her own phone rapidly and fiddled with it, then raised it to her ear. "The number you are trying to reach is out of range of service," she reported a moment later.

"I was hoping not," he mumbled, still working diligently on the inner machinations of his own mobile teleportation device. "That'll just make this harder."

"Wait, Phineas, are you and Candace  _actually_ , like-"

There! He was done. Quickly screwing the cover plate back over the phone's internal mechanism, he stood up and held out his hand. "I need your phone, too."

She frowned, but held it out to him. "So what exactly is going on with you and-"

He quickly stretched a universal serial bus cable between the two phones, connecting to them to each other.

"Accepting location input," his phone's speaker said aloud.

"Phineas, what are you doing? What is going on? That picture was  _real_? Where did Candace go? And what is going on?"

"Okay, look," he rushed out. "I'm sure you've got a ton of questions - and I'll happily answer them all when I get back. But Candace just teleported herself to an arbitrary location, and there's no way to guarantee that she's safe. I need you to call her phone again." Stacy looked down at the phone, pressing the redial button. "And, yes, the picture was  _probably_  was real - Candace and I, well, I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore." He glanced down at his phone, gauging the remaining amount that the little progress bar on the screen had left to fill. "I suppose you could call us 'boyfriend and girlfriend', if you wanted."

"You're  _what_?!" Stacy exclaimed, her eyes widening. "I ne-"

Her next words were lost in a flurry of blinding sparks of purple light and a loud crashing sound, as the progress bar reached full, and the two phones, working together, successfully tracked down Candace in whatever random place she'd ended up.

The brilliant glare faded, and he blinked several times in an attempt to get rid of the spots floating in his vision.

"Candace?" he called, still not quite able to see.

He heard a startled snort. "Phineas!" So she was okay. That was an immeasurable relief, right there. As his vision cleared, he gradually came to realize that they were in a grassy field of some sort with scattered trees here and there. An abandoned highway ran nearby, but neither sound nor sight of motor vehicles could be heard. So this was what 'away' looked like. The more you know.

There was a slight sniffling from his sister, instantly snapping his attention back onto her - where she was sitting dejectedly against the base of one of the trees, with her face buried in her hands.

"Phineas, I - I just - I don't think I can take this anymore."


	24. Away

It was over.

What was, exactly?

Oh, she didn't know. How about:  _everything_. Honestly, Candace didn't know what she'd been thinking. From the very start she'd known this was a bad idea. Not just any bad idea, either - a uniquely terrible idea that made meddling with space and time seem brilliant by comparison. Trying to have a romantic relationship - or at least a semblance of one - with  _Phineas_? Yeah, there was no way that it  _wasn't_  going to end in disaster.

And now it had done exactly that. All that painstaking effort she'd put into staying on top of the secret, into making sure that, if they were really gonna do this thing, no one would  _ever_  find out - she had failed.

And of course she had. Because this wasn't the sort of thing you could keep a secret for long, if at all. And now pretty much one of the worst-case scenarios had actually come to pass.

Stacy had found them out. Literally Candace's best friend since the third grade, when they'd first gotten to know each other while picking bits of glue and a very angry class hamster out of Candace's hair. And they'd been fast friends ever since that time.

Only, now, it was all over.

Because despite all her efforts, Stacy had  _still_  figured them out somehow. And while part of her wanted to blame her little brother's unsecretive ways, a tiny part of her mind was pricking her and saying insistently that such an accusation wasn't quite fair. But at this point, did it really matter who was to blame? All that mattered anymore that was she was done.

Her best friend was gone - and she had no doubt that there would end up being no way to get her back. Yeah, because Stacy Hirano, who was pretty much the single most normal person that Candace interacted with on a regular basis, was just going to overlook finding out that her friend had... made out with her own brother. Nope. That wasn't something that you came back from.

And it was probably too late for this now, but Candace knew that she had to make the decision now that she couldn't bring herself to do earlier - that she  _should have_  made earlier, because if she had, Stacy might still be her friend.

With a long sigh, Candace slumped down at the base of one the trees scattered randomly about wherever she was. Away - that was were she had directed her teleporter to take her, and for all she cared, she could stay here forever.

But, of course, it wasn't destined to be so. Just at that moment, a bright flash of flared up behind, along with the familiar high-pitched whizzing sound of ionic teleportation.

"Candace?"

Well, of course he would be able to track her down. That was just the way with him, wasn't it? She'd known that he was going to find her eventually, but hadn't realized it would be so  _quickly_.

"Phineas?" she choked out in reply, still hardly able to think straight. But there was  _one_  thing she knew for sure. "Phineas, I - I just can't do this anymore."

There.

It was done.

And probably done too late, too. The damage had been done already. There was no way to fix what had happened - but at least this would stop anything else from happening. She may have lost her best friend, but she'd managed to put a stop to this thing before it destroyed anything else.

Her shoulders shook slightly as she struggled to keep them still.

"Candace... are you okay?"

Okay?  _Okay_? No, she was  _not_  okay! Why did he insist on asking that question? Was it not obvious that she was not okay?

"Candace?" His voice was lower this time, more deeply tainted with a concern that hurt her even to hear. He shouldn't  _have_  to be concerned about this kind of stuff - it was her stupid worries about this stupid secret that had ruined it in the stupid first place.

Well, he didn't have to worry anymore. No one did. Because - for all the good it did  _now_  - it was over. Phineas was her brother, for goodness' sake. And that was what he would  _stay_. Anything more than that… it had to go.

Otherwise more things like  _what had just happened_  would happen. And she couldn't take it anymore. For the past weeks, she'd practically done nothing but worry - that Phineas would spill the secret, that she would spill the secret, that no one would spill it and they'd be found out anyway. And it  _sucked_ , and she hated it, and it made it utterly impossible to really get into what she was supposed to be doing. That was, in addition to being Phineas' older sister, being his girlfriend too, which… was admittedly not necessarily something that she should've been trying to do.

Either way she'd failed majorly, as was pretty much expected from day one. The  _literal_  day one, too, when Phineas had first confessed to her and they'd kissed in the living room, almost getting busted by their parents in the process. Even since that day, she'd known somewhere down deep inside her that it was going to explode eventually.

And explode it finally had, after a week and some change, no less. At just a tiny bit shorter than two weeks, her stretch of time trying to date her brother… well, it wasn't the  _shortest_  one, to be fair, but it still paled in comparison to Jeremy Johnson.

She wasn't quite sure why she insisted on comparing her  _brother_  to Jeremy. Perhaps she should've known why by now, but even though it felt distinctly unnatural, her thoughts kept drifting in that direction anyway. It wasn't like it mattered - no one would  _ever_  be able to match Jeremy. And she'd gone and ruined that - in all likelihood ruining her chance of ever having a real, permanent relationship ever again.

Her shoulders convulsed as a bitter, brokenhearted sigh forced its way up and out of her.

She should be thankful, honestly. Her life was weird enough already - she really didn't need this too, making it ever harder to find people to relate to. Still, thankful or no, she couldn't help but feel awfully… upset about this whole mess. Even though she'd  _known_  that when it did finally self-destruct, there was going to be trouble, she hadn't  _really_  thought that it would  _actually_  end up like this. Stacy had found them out and - as any reasonable person would - had been utterly shocked.

And though Candace hadn't given her the chance to say it - she knew what her friend's reaction would be.

_The reaction any_ normal  _person would have_ , she thought.  _Because there_ are  _actually people out there who have_ normal  _lives and_ normal  _friends and a_ normal  _hobby and a_ normal  _romance. Why can't_ I  _have any of those things? It's just… not fair._

'Some weirdness is okay', Phineas would say, she was sure of it. And, okay, sure - maybe he was  _partially_  right. But her life had long moved past the point of 'some' weirdness, really, hadn't it? It was a wonder that Stacy had put up with her for this long already. And now she wouldn't - not anymore.

Candace briefly entertained thoughts of trying to change the past with a time machine, but she had a strong feeling that doing so would only result in someone showing up from the future to stop her. Not that it would help much anyway - this thing was doomed to dismal failure from the start, really, and you could only fix so much with quantum meddling in the first place.

"Candace?" Phineas' voice came again.

She started slightly, having completely forgotten that he was standing there. "What?!"

For a moment there was silence - complete silence, undisturbed by even the slightest hint of a breeze. Wherever 'away' was, it surely seemed to be a desolate place - which she was thankful for. All she'd really wanted was to get away from her once best friend's disapproving gaze, from the accusing that was sure to follow, and from the utter rejection that was sure to come directly after  _that_. The secret was laid too bare to make anymore attempt at disguising it. Stacy, despite all Candace's best efforts to the contrary, had found out, and that was all there was to it.

"Candace, I… well, I think it may have been my fault that she figured out. I'm sorry."

She snorted slightly. "It doesn't really matter anymore, does it? However she did it, it's done now - and so are we. I can  _not_  do this anymore, Phineas. I mean… Stacy's been my friend - at times my  _only_  friend - for like twelve years now. And, oh look, guess what just happened to those twelve years? They just got flushed down the toilet, that's what.." The more she went on, the angrier she began to feel. "And that's not something that be fixed - not something that can be undone. She'll never look at me the same way - and I doubt she'll ever look at me again."

She stopped for breath, hanging her head slightly. "And what's next? She tells her parents? Our parents? The whole town? Sets off the Mysterious Force? I just… no. I should've seen this coming. I  _knew_  it was going to happen eventually. And it'll just keep happening, won't it? Of course it will. And I may  _never_  get Stacy back, but I don't intend to throw away the rest of my life trying to have a relationship with my brother when all it does is make me  _miserable_."

She stopped and drew in a shaky breath. This really was too much to handle. It hadn't even been two months yet since Jeremy had broken up with her, and here she was - in the same situation again. Of course, it wasn't the  _same_. It never could be - Phineas was her brother, and although they'd done a lot of things that seemed to flaunt that label, they could never  _really_  make it work for any extended period of time, could they?

Of course not. This was inevitable. Why hadn't she seen it coming - why hadn't she put a stop to this whole mess long ago, before it had happened?

_Because I'm stupid, that's why_ , she thought bitterly.

"I…" Phineas replied slowly. "Did not know you felt 'miserable'?"

Candace snorted. "Guess I was doing my job then. Great to hear."

She couldn't see her brother, what with having her back to him and all, but that didn't her stop from  _feeling_  his gaze on her back.

"...doing your job?" he echoed after a long minute. The confusion was thick in his tone, and she rolled her eyes slightly. Of course he wouldn't understand this sort of thing - she would never expect it of him. For all that had gone on in the past almost-two-weeks, he was still Phineas Flynn through and through.

Well, what did it matter anymore? He wasn't her boyfriend anymore - just her brother. And in times like this, when Stacy wasn't around, who was it that she went to for help? And now Stacy would  _never_  be around again. So she might as well. There wasn't any reason to hide it anymore, seeing as she  _had_  just broken up with him.

It was… almost kind of weird to force her brain to recognize him only as her brother now. She'd never had a problem before, but trying to force it seem to make it harder for some reason.

"Candace?" There was a slight rustling sound as he sat down in the grass. For a moment, she could have sworn that he was going to put his arm around her, the way he often had in the past. But, no - and when she looked up, if only for a second, he was sitting in front of her, just a couple of feet away.

His eyes were wide and the slightest bit watery, but mostly just looked a strange mixture of confusion and concern. Well, she didn't want him to do that anyway. He was her brother - and that would be weird. Siblings didn't do that.

"Fine. You know what?" Candace said at last, her voice unsteady and somewhat hoarse. "I'll tell you." She paused for breath. "Yes, I was miserable. Almost constantly. Because we a-were doing something that needed to be kept absolutely secret. For reasons  _exactly_  such as this, by the way. And so, it fell to  _me_  to keep the secret, since you're worthless with them. And I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and you have  _no_  idea how many close calls we've had that you never even  _realized_. Why? Oh, because I took care of it." She paused, willing away the tears that were suddenly threatening to spill out for some reason. "So yeah, that was my life. Running here and making sure nobody figured out what we were doing in the panic room. Running there and making sure that nobody overheard you talking to me. Running back and forth making sure that nobody was around when we… did stuff, that nobody would overhear, that no one was in the process of figuring it out, that no one was trying to find evidence that could incriminate us. And it  _sucked_ , and it was  _exhausting_ , and it didn't even  _work_  because Stacy  _still_ somehow figured it out and now… now my life is over. Ruined. Just - just done."

Phineas looked her for a moment, unblinking and silent.

"What?!" she burst. "Don't look at me like that! Quit it!"

He shook his head slightly. "Sorry. I just… I didn't know. Any of that, I mean." He paused. "I figured you might be nervous, but I asked you if something was bothering you, remember? And you told me that it was okay. I… I didn't know."

Candace rolled her eyes. "Ooooof course you didn't. Guess that's just the way it works, huh?"

"No, I mean," he replied, "-well, if that was really how you felt… why didn't you tell me?"

And why  _hadn't_ she? It was a perfectly fair - and probably pretty good - question. Well, the answer was simple, really. She hadn't said anything because she wasn't  _supposed_  to say anything - to bother him with her stuff like that. It wasn't that he wouldn't  _care_ , because she knew he would, but that - well, it was more that if he really was supposed to be her  _boyfriend_ , like Jeremy Johnson had been, then she simply  _shouldn't_  bother him with it - like she'd never bothered Jeremy with it. The more she thought about it, the less sense it made, even to her - after all, Phineas was also her brother. He already knew about all of the fears and worries and hopes and dreams and other bothersome things that made it so difficult sometimes. Things that she'd never even  _thought_ of telling Jeremy Johnson - because that would only serve to drive him away.

Jeremy'd always been so… great. The mere fact that he'd been willing to settle for her had always been amazing to Candace, and she'd done her absolute best to make sure that he never had a reason to regret that decision.

Well, a fat lot of good  _that_  had done in the end, no?

And, really, the reason Jeremy'd broken up with her  _was_ entirely her fault. Just like this whole debacle now. It was always her fault, wasn't it? Maybe she just wasn't meant to have a relationship like this. Jeremy really  _had_ been the only one who could tolerate her, hadn't he? And of course she had to go and ruin it.

"Candace," Phineas repeated, startling her once again, because once again, she'd completely forgotten he was there. "I don't know why you didn't tell me this - but you totally should have. I mean, maybe we could have fixed it together or something, I don't know." He smiled at her - though his smile seemed… different, for some reason. And it didn't matter anyway - she was in no mood to be consoled.

After Jeremy had broken up with her, for a long while she'd just sort of assumed that that was it - that there would never be anyone else who could take his place. And for a while, there hadn't been. But Phineas had been there - as he always had been there for her - and, in a twist that she could have never seen coming in a million years, had decided that  _he_  wanted to take Jeremy's place.

And she, in her infinite stupidity, had let him.

The cruelest part of it all was that… well, it would have worked out, probably, if not for the - for the  _everything_. Their parents. Their friends. The Mysterious Force. Irving. Isabella. Now Stacy. It was just too much to take by herself. She simply couldn't do it anymore.

And Stacy finding out had been the final straw. How could she explain this to her friend? Trying to convince her that she'd been hallucinating? Telling her that what she'd seen wasn't  _actually_  Candace - but instead a duplicate from another plane of existence? Attempting to place all the blame on some kind of consciousness-affecting beam from the sky?

No, those were all stupid ideas. And they'd never work, not for a second. Candace had known Stacy for many, many years now - long enough to know that while her friend often found it difficult to focus, once she actually did, there was nothing that could get past her. Stacy's mind operated on one track and one track alone. And that was how she knew that she was really screwed.

All Stacy had to do was go home and tell her parents. Who would tell Linda and Lawrence, and then…  _then_  the world would truly be at an end. Candace didn't know what sort of punishment her parents might dish out for doing what she'd done. But she knew well enough that whatever happened, it would be unpleasant.

During all this time, Phineas was still sitting silently across from her. He fidgeted in place from time to time, but would always hesitate and go back to his original position. At last, however, he sighed.

"Look, Candace, I know you said you didn't want to… you know, you didn't want to be my girlfriend anymore. But it  _is_  still okay if I come sit next to you, right?"

Candace rolled her eyes. "Do whatever you want."

It wasn't like it mattered anymore, really. She didn't even care that she didn't know where they were. Returning home would only plunge her back into the huge mess of problems she'd created for herself to stew in.

Phineas slid across the ground until he was sitting next to her, and he put his arm around her.

She stiffened slightly at the touch. She'd already told him no, they weren't going to be a thing anymore. What was he trying to do?

But the touch had become familiar in the past weeks, perhaps even more than in the years prior. And she couldn't quite bring herself to shake it off. Well, he himself had acknowledged that they were through - this was just… nothing.

"Candace," he said at last, "I hope  _I_ didn't give you the impression that you couldn't tell me these things. I know I'm still… new to everything you're supposed to do in these sorts of things, but I never intended to give you that idea. Because it isn't true."

"Sure," she responded shortly.

"It's true," he insisted. "I mean, before, you know, after all that happened with Jeremy - well, you told me stuff. You told me  _everything_ , really. I didn't mind then, and I wouldn't mind now." He shook his head. "It's not even that I 'don't mind' - I love you. And if something's bothering you, well, I'd like to be able to try and fix it. But I can't fix what I don't know about." He paused and took a breath. "And you said you didn't want to be anything more than brother and sister anymore - but I still want to know. Because even as just your brother, I love you, and want to fix whatever's wrong, if I can."

Candace groaned aloud. "Ugh."

Well, he was right about one thing - he  _wasn't_  supposed to be her boyfriend anymore. So why not tell him everything? What could it hurt, anyway? It wasn't like he didn't already know enough of her bad side already. And it wasn't like he wasn't being truthful, either. Even before this dreadful summer had been on the calendar, he'd  _always_  been this way towards her, for a very long time. Sometimes she wondered just how long his subconscious romantic feelings for her had been coloring his behavior. But it would be impossible to ever truly figure that out - and sometimes, she just didn't care.

As it turned out, this was one of those times.

"Fine. You want to hear it? I'll tell you."

She hesitated, suddenly unsure of how to phrase this thing. But, just like what had happened after her breakup, he waited patiently for her to continue. Not saying anything - just waiting. And listening.

And suddenly Candace felt a little better about what she was about to say.

"Phineas, I just worried. And I know it sounds dumb and cheesy, but I was petrified that someone was gonna catch us and we'd be in all kinds of trouble. And that we'd be shunned by our friends and family and… I didn't want that to happen." She sighed. "Of course, I  _was_ right in the end. The  _one_  time I'm proven to have been right all along, it's about something like this."

That was all true. And even now she was terrified of what might await them at home. It never takes long for word to spread, and especially not this kind of word. Even just thinking made her want to shudder.

"And I  _would_  have told you if I thought you could do anything about it," she mournfully continued. "Ferb even asked me why I didn't - and I told him the same thing. That it wasn't your fault I'm so… all over the place. And that, if I really  _was_  supposed to be... dating you, then I'd just have to suck it up and deal. It's what I've always done - and it seemed to work with Jeremy, I mean, just look how long I managed to keep him interested in me, in spite of - in spite of everything. And if I hadn't been so  _stupid_ , there's a good chance he-" She cut herself off and took a breath. "So I did just that. At least, I tried."

And she  _had_  tried. For all that it was worth in the end - which wasn't much - she  _had_  tried. But how could you expect someone to be able to relax with a secret the size of theirs always hanging over the horizon? And it certainly didn't help that the other party to the secret couldn't be trusted to keep it - and the knowledge that they'd already been captured on  _tape_  and that people were getting suspicious, and that there was nothing she could do about it.

Phineas ran his hand through his hair. "I… well, I may not have been able to fix  _everything_ , but you still should have told me." His tone wasn't harsh or scolding - she didn't really think he was capable of sounding that way for extended periods of time anyway. It was just… calm. Too calm, even. "Then I could have at least tried - and we could have tried together. Isn't that, like, the whole thing with romance anyway? Or a part of it, at least. Just… togetherness, or something."

"I don't know," she admitted with a sigh. "Maybe I should have. Maybe I shouldn't have. All I know is that I never bothered Jeremy with this stuff and if you really wanted to take his spot, then I shouldn't bother you either. It's only fair, after all. You've got to deal with - with Isabella and Irving and all that."

He frowned slightly, momentarily staring off into space. "Isabella… yeah. I mean, I do. It's… it's confusing. But, Candace, you wouldn't be  _bothering_ me anyway. Like… I  _want_  to know. I did even before, you know, we became... boyfriend and girlfriend. And you always told me stuff  _then_." He smiled. "And I couldn't always fix it, but I did try."

"I know, I know." She leaned back slightly, but stopped before moving so far that he'd have to remove his arm. "It's just… that was  _different_. This is different."

"Different?" he echoed. "Different how? I… don't understand?"

She rolled her eyes and exhaled forcefully through her nose. "Because it just  _is_. Before any of this mess happened, you were  _just_  my brother. Nothing else - and now that it's over, it's the same way. But during the middle - well, it was different. You were supposed to be my  _boyfriend_. And you just don't bother your boyfriend with things like that. At least - I never did with Jeremy, and it pretty much worked out for, I don't know, almost  _ten years._ "

"I… see." His brow furrowed for a second. "Sort of."

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "It doesn't matter - I knew you wouldn't get it anyway. It's… it's confusing. But it's the best explanation I've got."

"Well, even so, I wish you would let me know - even if the only thing I could've done was talk about how annoying it was with you… wouldn't that have been better? I don't know. I just hate to see you worry. Anyone, really. It's summer - no one should have to worry about anything. And even though I  _am_ - _was_  your boyfriend, I was still your brother. I was both - so you really could have told me if you wanted to." A curious look crossed his face. "Why didn't - I mean, what might have happened if you had told me?"

"Ugh." She rolled her eyes and sighed again. "Well, I mean, it… I don't exactly know, but it would have been bad, for sure. I always worried that if Jeremy found out how messed-up I really was that he'd, well, leave me." She laughed - short and somewhat bitter. "Sounds pathetic. Well, that's me, I guess. I went through  _so_  much trying to keep him and me together - and not just trying to hide the bad things about me, no, but actual physical pain from his… ergh - his little sister. She  _hated_  me, and would stop at  _nothing_  to make me miserable. I don't know how Jeremy didn't realize. He was so perfect in like, every other way." She scowled darkly. "But when it came to realizing that his nine-year-old sister is actually vicious merciless psychopath? Not hardly."

She shivered, as all sorts of nasty memories resurfaced to haunt her, hardly noticing the strange expression crossing her brother's face. "You  _do_ know that she's the reason that - that squirrels freak me out, right? Like, four years ago, she freaking got me stuck in a little box with, like,  _fifty_ of them. All the teeth and the claws and the scratching and the biting and the - the - it was… it was  _terrifying_." She shivered uncontrollably, on sudden impulse looking up and nervously searching through the tree canopies nearby.

Thankfully, they appeared to be empty.

Phineas' face was still strangely unreadable, but he pulled her closer to him, and the touch no longer felt awkward due to the recently changed state of their relationship. Instead, it made her feel… safer, somehow. Even from the - ugh - from the squirrels, with their creepy little faces and giant jagged teeth and sharp… she closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to push those images from her mind.

She'd tried to get over this thing before. She was  _way_  too old to feel like this, she knew. She was almost nineteen, for goodness' sake! It was childish and immature and utterly embarrassing. And it  _wasn't_ quite so bad as it had been four years ago - back when she was still fifteen. But even after all that time, there was still something… uniquely fear-inducing about those vicious little rodents that never failed to send shivers up her spine.

But there were no squirrels here - and Phineas was here instead.

"You may have said something about Suzy Johnson to me before," he mused slowly. "But I didn't quite… well, I thought for sure that I'd misunderstood you. I… couldn't quite believe what I heard. But I guess I didn't."

"No," Candace snorted. "No, no you didn't. Ever since Jeremy and I started dating, she's been an absolute  _terror_. I had nightmares about it sometimes, you know? About me finally fighting back to defend myself, and Jeremy catching me, and  _of course_  thinking that I was just randomly attacking his  _innocent_ little sister." She grit her teeth. "You don't know how  _many_ times I fantasized about finally taking my vengeance on that… girl. But I couldn't! Nope, not a chance."

Phineas blinked and shifted in his seat on the grass next to her, drawing her even closer to himself. She noticed the action, but was too distracted to give it more than a fleeting thought. Besides - even given all that had happened - it still felt nice. Warm and safe.

And this was a situation in which she'd felt unsafe for far too long.

"That was part of what helped get me back on my feet after he kicked me out of his life," she continued, sucking in a breath. "There weren't many things I could be happy about then, but that was one of them - that never again would that girl torture me, and never again would I have to suck it up and take it for fear of losing the best thing that ever happened to me." She grimaced. "And lemme tell you,  _that_  was the biggest relief I've felt since… I don't know when. And I felt selfish and heartless for it, but there  _was_ a part of me that was  _glad_ it was over - glad because it meant I wouldn't have to suffer anymore."

"I…" Phineas began, frowning. "I did  _not_  know this." He turned to face her. "Why didn't you say something - not even to me, but to anyone?"

"Pfft." Candace shook her head. "Yeah, and get Jeremy mad at me for slandering his  _adorable_  sister? Not hardly. Didn't you hear when I already said that it was pretty much my goal everyday to make sure he never had any reason to stop putting up with me? Doing  _that_  would have pretty much crossed that line."

"Well… why didn't you bring it up with  _him_? You know, after you'd gotten proof of it."

"Proof?" she scoffed. "What proof? That I fell down the stairs and got banged up? Because Suzy  _definitely_  wouldn't leave piles of junk on the top of the stairs, and then jump out and startle me and push me to make me trip over it. And she definitely wouldn't do it  _twice_ , no." She paused. "All that would ever do is make me look dumb in front of Jeremy. And it's not like I needed  _more_  of that."

"Still," Phineas insisted. "I mean, it's not fair that you should have to endure that. It - well, it kinda…  _upsets_ me to hear. I'd never want anything bad - I mean, that's just not right."

"Well, it's over now," she replied bitterly. "Because I drove him away and now I don't have to worry about her anymore. So there's that, if it makes you happy."

"I mean… not really?" He hesitated, seeming unsure of what to say. "I never knew any of this was going on. I wish I had - I would've done… I don't know, something?"

"And that's exactly why I told no one." Candace smiled a small, wan smile. "Because anybody taking any sort of action would just put my relationship in jeopardy… and by then, I really had nowhere else to turn. No one else would ever go out with  _me_. Except for him. He was the only one who could tolerate me, I guess, and I had to make sure that I never pushed him too far - or he might decide to stop. Which I ended up doing anyway, because I'm an idiot."

"No, you're not," Phineas immediately spoke up. "You… just got taken advantage of." He put his other arm around her and hugged her close. "And although I'm sorry about how it happened - I'm glad it's not happening anymore." He looked up and his face grew very unreadable for a second. "Still… there needs to be some sort of... settling."

Candace rolled her eyes. "Sure, Phineas. Whatever. I tried for years and years to do whatever it took to make her leave me alone - to at least treat me like a living creature. But I couldn't. And why should you bother either? There's no point. I'll probably never get to go back to the Johnson's house anyway."

For a moment, there was silence again, and they sat still on the grass. Phineas had dropped his other arm, returning to a more casual single arm across her shoulders. Which, she told herself, was more appropriate. She'd literally  _just_ told him that she was breaking off their extrasibling relationship, after all. He was here as a supportive brother, and no more.

He'd filled that spot many times in her life, but never quite like this. It was just the lingering effects of what they'd…  _tried_  to have over the past two weeks. And it would soon disappear. Why should she wait until that happened to let all this out?

The answer to that was simple - she shouldn't.

Forget about whatever weird, lingering feelings may or may not be still held in her brother's heart. She wanted someone to rant to - and given that her best friend for... ever had just walked out of her life, who else was there, really?

No one. No one at all.

"And it's so  _stupid_ , I know," she resumed. "But I didn't want to end up alone, and I really did love him, and no matter where I looked, he was the only person I could find who would go out with me - and would stick with me - even while I was still doing 'busting' and even after that stopped, despite everything I did to him. And if he was willing to put up with me, then putting up with his terror of a sister was… the least I could do." And he never complained about having to deal with me, so I never brought up Suzy.  _Ugh_." She hesitated. "It was... only fair, after all."

Phineas opened his mouth as if to speak, then seemed to reconsider. "Oh."

"Yup." She exhaled forcefully. "And  _that's_  why no one ever knew what I went through. Because I couldn't give him a reason to leave me - even if it was a just a little one - it might have been the last straw, or something. And it was working too. I managed to keep him from leaving me for almost ten years. If I hadn't - if I hadn't flipped out and gotten all crazy at the end, well, we might still be together now."

"But - I mean," he replied. "You still could've told me about how nervous you were getting about... us. It's not like  _I_ would have left you." He smiled a small, slightly sad smile.

Candace shook her head. "I don't know. I just… I mean, it took me  _so long_  to work up the guts to actually reach out to Jeremy. I was so afraid of losing that. And I guess  _you_  reached out to  _me_ … but still, I felt like you were just… tolerating all the crazy stuff that I - that I  _am_ , really. And I really don't want to grow up and get old alone, Phineas! And I knew that you wouldn't be able to help - because it really was just me being stupid and that can't be helped - so I thought it would just be best if I dealt with it myself, to keep from - from annoying you with it." She snorted. "And I did a  _great_  job of that, didn't I?"

"It wasn't stupid," he repeated. "I mean - maybe you were thinking about it too hard? - but it's certainly not stupid. You're probably the reason we were able to keep it secret as long as we did. It was  _really_  hard for me to remember. And I almost messed up a lot. Ferb was always there, though, and he managed to cover for me."

"Well, whatever." She threw up her hands. "My point still stands."

"I mean… not really." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I don't really think Jeremy was just 'tolerating' you - you did say you two really loved each other? But I can't speak for him, I guess. Who I  _can_  speak for, though, is myself. And I know for a fact that I wasn't just tolerating you. I  _loved_ you, Candace. I still do. And you really couldn't have told me anything that would have changed that - I mean, after you broke up with Jeremy, you told me a lot. A  _lot_  a lot. And none of that made me feel any different. In fact..." He paused momentarily. "I think it kinda made me realize how much I love you - though I still couldn't quite see it until Ferb helped me."

"Right," she scoffed. "How's that work anyhow? What exactly did you see in - in all  _that_  that gave you  _that_  idea?" She paused, and her voice dropped a few notches. "I mean… all my life I've had to go chasing after anyone I wanted. And the sheer _weirdness_  that is me and my life drove everyone away, one by one. Jeremy was the only one who could stand it, because he was… so perfect. Well, I guess I answered my own question, didn't I?"

"I don't know." He turned to face her, smiling slightly. "All I know is that for the longest time I've loved you. For my whole life, even. You, well, even before we were doing our projects together - were always sort of… inspiring? I don't know. But I got so many great ideas from you, and even though you and Ferb call  _me_ the ideas person, you still have the best ideas. And I always looked up to you. I'm not scared of heights - or of spiders - but you  _were_ , and you still managed to work in spite of that, and it… it was just so awesome. And that's only a small piece of it, but it's a good example. Because you call yourself 'fearful', but I know that, if you need to, you can be fearless."

"Right," Candace snorted. "Because that's what that was, and not me being so high on adrenaline that I couldn't feel my fingers or toes or even breathe."

"Adrenaline or no," he insisted. "You still  _did_  it. And so much else, too. All  _before_  you'd remembered the whole, like, the inventing thing. Even while that part of you was still smothered under wanting Mom to see what we were doing, you still managed to do so  _many_  amazing things. All without the help of the creating impulse - things you managed to do  _on your own_." He shook his head. "And I've never known what it's like to live  _without_ it, so I can't imagine what that's like. But you… well, you have. And even despite not having it, you  _still_  did so much and it just - it always amazed me."

"Well… I'd  _hardly_ consider those things worth being amazed by," she answered dryly. "But whatever. It's a nice thing to say, at least. If I'm too weird to have anyone normal, guess I've at least got my  _brother_ , for whatever reason. Because  _that's_ not an unhealthy whiplash, or anything."

"I don't think so," Phineas replied. "I think they're plenty worth it. And I've always thought that - and I always looked up to you, and admired you, and loved you. You're my older sister - the best that anyone could ever ask for. And I don't know quite where I crossed the line between platonic love and romantic love, but it did happen. And after you broke up with Jeremy… well, I don't know. But seeing… all that, and being there to hear it and - and everything. It just made me feel in a way that I hadn't really felt before, and couldn't really identify, either." He smiled again. "It didn't take long for  _Ferb_ to notice, though - and to help me realize that how I felt wasn't sickness, and that it certainly wasn't an ordinary feeling for siblings. Because I wanted to take you out, to hug you, to kiss you, and do all the things that I saw you do with Jeremy, that Mom and Dad do. And Ferb told me that, no, that wasn't an ordinary part of platonic love. Which I  _guess_  I knew, but I never quite realized, if you know what I mean."

"Uh huh," Candace said noncommittally.

She'd never really doubted it before, either, but hearing him spell it out like that definitely confirmed it. Her little brother really  _was_  in love with her, wasn't he? And it wasn't even the confused feelings of a little boy - because he was hardly even her  _little_ brother anymore.

Phineas was sixteen years old now. And Ferb was a year older than he. The marked height difference that had once stood out between them was almost no more, and would likely entirely disappear in just a few more years, much to Candace's chagrin. There really was no escaping it, was there? Well - there  _was_ , and she  _had_. No matter what or how he felt, they could never be anything more than plain, ordinary siblings. Given what had just happened with Stacy? Definitely not. This was like the  _one_  ordinary thing in her life, and she was becoming determined to cling to it for dear life.

"Like sit here," Phineas spoke up again. "I know you said that we can't be anything more than siblings anymore, but it's like, I mean… I can't really explain it. Just - just the  _being close_ , I guess. I like - it feels nice. And it makes me, well, it makes me feel… like this is what I want to do. What I  _should_  do. Today. And tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. And all the days after that."

Candace blinked, unsure how to respond. "I… well…" She tripped over the words as they tried to come out. It was… kind of nice, she had to admit - and had already admitted. Phineas'd always had a weird way of making her feel safe. Maybe it was because he was the one she called out for when in trouble, or maybe she called out to him because he made her feel that way. But that wasn't romance - because it'd been that way for a  _long_ time, even back when she'd been with Jeremy, and she'd never dreamed of cheating on him with her  _brother_.

It was just a… thing, really. Something that siblings did? Not… really, considering that though she thought of her relationship Ferb as being pretty good - and definitely better than it had once been - there was nothing like this there. She'd hugged her other brother, many a time, but trying to recreate  _this_  - just sitting next to him with his arm around her - would have felt supremely awkward. And Ferb had never given any indication that he felt any different.

But it didn't feel awkward with Phineas. And it never had, really. Maybe that had something to do with how… rapidly their extrasibling relationship had progressed. Because it had definitely been there before for Phineas… and it wasn't even such a great leap for her either. Just a  _little_  more physical intimacy, really, and you were there. And that last little step past the border of an ordinary sibling relationship hadn't felt all that awkward, or even all that wrong.

Her relationship with Phineas  _had_  always been a strange one, hadn't it? It had, considering that, as she thought all these things, she realized, one by one, that they were all true.

"I don't mean to bug you," Phineas continued. "But, whether or not we're only brother and sister after this, if something is really bothering you, you can always come tell me about it. I know that Stacy… is usually who you tell these things, but I can do it instead. And even if I can't fix it, or help at all, I can surely try, at least."

_Stacy_. Candace winced as she thought of her once-best friend. Not even Stacy had ever known of what went on behind the scenes of her relationship with Jeremy. No one had - and no one ever would. Aside from Phineas. But he was her brother - and honestly, she'd probably been more honest with him about all this than with even herself.

"I know," she sighed. "I don't know why I do to this myself." She turned slightly to face him. "How did you do it? And I know it's a stupid question because nothing ever fazes you, but, like, the stress of keeping that secret was just too much. I couldn't handle it! And yet, you - you somehow managed to be entirely unperturbed, like always." She rolled her eyes and scowled. "Even when I'm dating my  _brother_ , I still somehow end up in a situation where everything's entirely out of control and it's all my fault."

"Well…" Phineas said slowly. "You're probably not going to particularly like the answer, at least, the one that worked for me. Because I  _did_  worry at first. On that very first night when we kissed and Mom and Dad almost caught us. It made me worry because that-"

"-could happen literally at any time with anyone on the face of the planet and the whole thing would come tumbling down in a heap of fiery rubble and completely ruin the both of our lives - and likely more severely  _mine_  because I'm the older one and therefor the responsible one." She heaved a breath. "Yeah, I know. It's been haunting my daydreams and nightmares and regular thoughts for a week now."

"Well, yeah, that's one way to put it," Phineas agreed. "Either way, at first I got nervous about it. It felt dangerous - like I was trying to build a nuclear reactor without a lead suit or something." He shook his head. "But I talked to Ferb about it. And he pointed out that if I really wanted to pursue this thing, then there would  _always_  an element of danger, no matter how much we tried to smother it. Which is true enough."

"He said that?" Candace snorted. "Sounds awfully familiar."

"So I decided that I would keep it a secret. And be as discreet as I knew how in conversation." He shook his head. "But not to worry about it any farther. Because if someone was going to make the assumption that we were indeed boyfriend and girlfriend, they'd quite likely be able to make that assumption no matter what I tried to do to stop them. Trying to seal down every single potential leak wouldn't do anything but make it hard to enjoy our relationship, and it would be ultimately pointless. Simply keeping it behind a closed door would be enough to turn away ninety-nine point nine nine percent of people. And that other oh point oh one percent would probably not stop even  _if_  we tried to completely lock things down - because we'd  _never_  be able to do it completely and perfectly. That fractional percent is people like Irving, who found out apparently very quickly, and probably would have done so no matter how we tried to stop him." He paused, looking to collect his thoughts. "But how many people like Irving do we know? Not many. Most of our friends are like Buford and Baljeet - and I've had a good many conversations with them over the last little bit of time, and never once saw anything like suspicion. Because what we are - we were - doing is so… uncommon, that nobody thinks of it. Or assumes it to be true. There's a million other things they would assume first. And so… I just decided to sort of keep it a secret, and let that be that. That way, I could focus on the  _reason_  for the secret - on you."

"But what if they  _did_  find out?" she insisted. "If you're not paying especial attention to it, it could totally happen! And it - and it did, too."

But Phineas shrugged slightly. "Somebody like that would be somebody like Irving - someone who was gonna find out anyway, no matter what we did. Think about it, Candace. We're brother and sister. We live in the same house - and have for sixteen years. And that's normal - for all siblings. So long as we didn't talk about dating, or act like it, in front of the others, there's almost no way they'd figure it out. Going crazy and trying to nail down every single possible little leak wouldn't keep out that many more people, and it  _would_  seem suspicious." He paused. "Like us being in the same room together for a long time. Now, sure, it's possible a person  _might_ assume that we were kissing. But it's much more likely that they'd assume we were playing a game or talking or inventing or even just doing nothing - or that the person might not think anything at all. But if we decided to act on the off chance that someone  _might_  assume we were kissing, and decided to never be caught alone in the same room together, it would get suspicious, really fast. And people who wouldn't have given it a second thought might start wondering what was going on."

...well, it did make  _some_  sense - when he explained it like  _that_.

"Still," Candace insisted. "How can you just up and dismiss that off-chance - even if it  _is_  slim - that someone might correctly guess at what's happening? How can you not be driven crazy by it? You've got to tell me - because, for whatever reason, I  _can't_. And it  _did_  drive me insane. And it - it-" she paused, suddenly realizing something. "-it was probably the reason that Stacy figured it out. I wasn't  _trying_  to be obvious, but, like, it would have been easier if she wasn't there, so I tried to convince her to leave. But… I guess doing that several days in a row does sort of… get weird."

"Wait - is that why you were so… nervous for the past few days?" Phineas seemed surprised, but the light of understanding had lit up in his eyes. "I mean… I thought it might be part of it, but you told me that it wasn't - that you were okay."

She sighed, slightly annoyed that only  _just now_  had he realized, and slightly relieved that she wouldn't have to explain herself anymore. Having to say some of these things out loud got… awkward. "Yes," she admitted. "No, I wasn't okay. Yes, I was worried. Worried sick. And rightly so, too, but still. And I know that sounds all cliche and everything with the whole 'oh, why don't they just sit down and talk it out' but I  _swear_ , Phineas, I would have - if I'd thought you could help. If I'd thought I could trust you to keep our secret. If I'd not thought that it would just upset you when you were obviously just having a great time."

"Candace, I…" he paused. "Now I kinda feel stupid for not realizing right away." He shifted slightly and brought up his arm around her. "I'm sorry that I  _didn't_  know. I may not have been able to help, but at least I'd be there for you talk to. I mean… we  _were_  boyfriend and girlfriend, right? I wouldn't really have been… upholding my end of the stick if I couldn't just be there for you talk to about stuff to."

"Well, we're talking about it right now, aren't we?" she asked. "So consider yourself forgiven." She sighed. "Yes, I was worried. And I'm sure I was over-worrying, too, but I'm not  _like_  you. I can't just decide not to over-worry and shrug things off like that. I'm so… all over the place. I don't know how you do it."

Phineas relaxed his grip and shrugged. "I can't say that there's a specific  _way_  I do it. But maybe it's better like that anyway. I love  _you_ , Candace, and if you were just a carbon-copy of me… well, I might as well kiss one of the phinedroids. But where would the fun in that be?" He looked at her. "If I know anything about magnets, it's that multiple duplicates of the same thing don't get along very well together. But opposites attract. And you… are different from me. In so many ways I can't begin to name them all. But I wouldn't  _want_  you to be the same."

"I don't want to be the _same_  as you," she protested. "I just want to be able to decide 'nah, I'm not gonna worry about this thing', and actually  _be able to do it_. Is that too much to ask?"

"Well," he answered slowly. "Like I said, I don't really know  _how_  you do it. But what I  _do_  know how to do is help you - to be there for you. And remind you that it's okay, that no one will find out. And then you can be there for  _me_ , too, because I know I'm bad at secrets and sometimes a little worry is a good thing, because it keeps me from making dumb mistakes and letting everything slip out."

"Yeah," she answered noncommittally. "Sure."

"And even though-" for the first time in the whole conversation, Phineas' voice hitched and caught on itself. "-excuse me. Even though I know we're not doing  _that_ anymore, I'll still be here for you - like always, as your brother. You know that, right?"

Of course she knew it. He hadn't even needed to say it, really. He'd always been there for her in the past, and she had no doubt that he'd continue to as well. Her life was a crazy, mixed-up sort of thing, but there were a few things she could count on, and Phineas was one of them. And as they sat there, the silence settling back down over top of them, she shifted slightly to be closer to him. Because it  _was_  warm and safe and… 'nice', as he'd said.

And maybe the sheer weirdness of her life would keep her from being able to relate to the vast majority of the world - from ever being able to have her best friend back - from ever fulfilling the last threadbare details of  _The Plan_  - from ever belonging anywhere… else.

Else.

Anywhere else.

Because, despite all the odds - perhaps  _in spite_  of them - she  _did_  belong here. There was a strangely warm calmness about the whole thing, sitting here in her brother's arms. And she'd been through so much in trying to track down and keep ahold of Jeremy Johnson's interest - trying to make sure that she earned it, to make sure she wasn't too much of a burden for him to deal with.

But this was different. Because Phineas actually, factually  _romantically_  loved her, and she… wasn't ready to end this thing between them. Because, in between all the being worried sick, it'd been… well, it was nice.

And it was dumb and dangerous and she  _knew_  that. And it wasn't going to do anything but further cement in the wedge between herself and the rest of the world. But screw all that - it made her feel comfortable and safe and she didn't want that to end. He  _loved_ her, in the romantic sense, and yet it was... something that he offered freely? He'd seen sides of her she'd dared never show to Jeremy for fear of rejection, and yet her brother somehow  _still_ loved her. She didn't claim to know how it worked, but she didn't want it to just... be over like that, to be alone again.

Not that she'd be  _alone_ , per se, because she knew that she'd always have her family - her parents and  _other_ brother - but that - it wasn't the same thing.

Swallowing, she spoke. "Phineas?"

He turned to face her. "Hmm?"

"I… I know I said that I wasn't going to be - be your girlfriend anymore. But… it wasn't true." She sighed slightly, knowing full well what she was getting herself back into. "It wasn't true. I… still do. The whole, like, more than siblings thing. I… still want it."

Almost instantly his eyes lit up. "Really?"

She nodded and sighed again. "I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm crazy, I know. But if I'm already crazy… well, I might as well go all the way, right?" She laughed shortly.

"I don't think you're crazy," he replied. "I think…" he paused and a slightly mischievous smile crossed his face. "Well,  _maybe_ you are."

"Oh, thanks," she snorted. " _That's_  what I needed to hear right now."

But he was still smiling. "But if you're crazy, then I'm crazy. And a little crazy never hurt anyone, right? Either way, crazy or no, I don't care. I still love you."

She half-smiled despite herself. "I… know. You've convinced me. And I… I - yeah."

For a moment his look faltered - but only for a moment. Then he wrapped both his arms around her and hugged her tightly - to such a degree that she briefly wondered just what his internal reaction to her saying that they were through might have been, and felt slightly guilty for it. She put her arms around him and returned the hug, as warmly as she knew how.

He drew back after a moment or two, looking slightly concerned. "So… what about Stacy, though?"

Candace sighed again, more deeply than before. "I don't know," she admitted. "If she's not already told on us… then I guess I - guess I just lost my best friend. If she  _has_ … then I don't know  _what_ will happen."

"I don't think she'll tell," he replied. "No one… dislikes this idea more than Isabella does, and she still hasn't, as far as I've seen. As for the other part…" he looked momentarily downcast. "Yeah. I'm sorry. It's… unfortunate."

"You really do care about her, don't you?" she asked.

"I do." He blew out a long breath. "And Ferb said he was gonna go over tomorrow, I think, but I don't know if even he can do it. It just… sucks. And I'm sure you feel the same way about Stacy. I just don't know how to - how to reach out to her. It's because she's… not happy with  _us_  that's making it so hard. I think she still secretly thinks that I'm just going along with this because you wanted me to."

"Not hardly," Candace scoffed. "Maybe I should go over there and try to talk some sense into her."

"Maybe," he replied softly, looking almost downcast. "You certainly couldn't do worse than I've been doing."

"Well, I'll tell you what," she said, smiling slightly. "If you want to, of course - we can swap."

"Can what?"

"Swap," she repeated. "After all, if we're actually going to do this thing, shouldn't we try and help each other with these things? So, I'll tell you what - when we get home, how about you tell Ferb that  _I'm_  gonna go over and give that girl a what-for." She caught the brief flash of concern in her brother's eyes and chuckled. "I kid - I kid. But seriously, maybe it'll work, right? I mean, at least this way I can kinda sorta try to repay you for all your help."

"You don't have to repay me for any of that," he answered. "It's what I'm here for. But okay - if you're gonna do that, I suppose I can track down Stacy and try to make sure that she'll keep the secret at least, if I can't bring her around."

"Well… I'll wish you luck with  _that_ , though I doubt you'll get any."

Phineas smiled broadly, getting a faraway look in his eyes. "Candace, the last time someone told me that they were wishing me luck despite the fact that I was never going to get any…" He turned back to her. "It turned out perfectly well anyway."

She laughed. It came out more easily this time. "And who was that? It hardly sounds like Ferb."

"Oh." He turned slightly red. "I, ah, built an omniscient supercomputer and tried to coax romantic advice out of it."

Candace grinned. "Fair enough. I can believe that. Though I guess it did turn out okay for you, didn't it?"

"And for you?" he asked.

She hesitated slightly, but nodded. " _And_  for me, I guess."

He nodded and smiled. "Good." There was another slight pause. "So… since we, you know-"

Rolling her eyes, Candace smiled. "Don't get so nervous. You know, that's probably the only time I'll ever be able to say to  _that_ to  _you_. And… well, yes. Yes we can." The words perhaps slightly belied her truest feelings on the matter, but at the same time, she didn't care.

His eyes lit up again as he leaned in and kissed her. For a moment, the desolate surroundings of 'Away' were lost into the background. It'd only been two weeks since her brother had first declared his decidedly unsiblinglike love for her. And in that time, so much had happened, at a mind-bogglingly quick pace. And it hadn't all been easy - or fun, for that matter, and the future no doubt held just as much trouble and difficulty as the past had had.

But for a moment, this moment, with her brother's lips against hers, that wasn't particularly important. Because this felt… safe. And comfortable and warm - like she belonged here. And she may not belong in many places, or any other place at all, but she had right here. And, knowing Phineas, she'd  _always_  have it.

A few moments passed, and they broke apart. Phineas was smiling again, and he looked so happy that she couldn't help but smile back.

"And now we really do need to think about getting home," he remarked.

Oh yeah. She'd forgotten all about that. "Where are we anyway?"

He pulled away and clambered back to his feet, sliding his phone out of his pocket. A long black cable was attached to it, from the other end of which dangled… was that  _Stacy's_  phone? Huh. That was probably an interesting story.

"You teleported to 'Away'." He was fiddling with his phone. "So I'm guessing that it's some arbitrary location-" he paused. "Actually… well, would you look at this?"

She scrambled to her feet and looked over his shoulder, reading the map data off his phone screen. "The Camarines Norte region in the Philippines, otherwise known as 'Away'. 14 degrees, 10 minutes, 0 seconds north, 122 degrees, 53 minutes, 0 seconds east. Huh. What do you know?"

"It'll certainly make it much easier to get home," he added. "No need to recalibrate based on an arbitrary location or anything." He held out his hand. "Come on."

She took it. "Wait - Phineas?" There was no telling what they were getting back into by returning home, was there? Anything at all could be waiting for them. And she may have made up her mind to keep sticking it out, but that wasn't going to make any of  _this_ any easier, was it? A cold nervousness crept up in her stomach, and she instinctively squeezed her brother's hand more tightly.

"Hmm?" he asked, his other finger hovering above the button on the screen that would take them home.

"I - uh, I…" she shook her head violently and took a deep breath. "I love you."


	25. The Enabler

"I suppose you could call us 'boyfriend and girlfriend', if you wanted," Phineas said, pressing the button on the screen.

"You're  _what_?!" Stacy exclaimed, her eyes widening. "I ne-"

She was cut off mid sentence by a blinding flash of purple light that scoured the room and tossed brilliantly glowing sparks every which way. Her phone was violently yanked out of her hand and disappeared into thin air. Spots of all shapes and size floated in her vision, and she stumbled back, rubbing her eyes with her palms.

"Phineas?"

But he was gone. Save for her alone, the room was completely empty. She blinked a few times times, waiting for the ringing in her ears to go away. After a few moments, it'd gradually subsided, at least to the point where she was able to see and hear again.

And her first thought, of course, was:  _Where did they go?!_

Which was followed almost instantaneously by replaying the statement Phineas had made directly before being whisked off to wherever.

_I suppose you could call us 'boyfriend and girlfriend', if you wanted_.

_Ha!_  she thought, feeling a little proud of herself.  _I_ knew  _something was going. Hmmph. Keep a secret from_ me _, will you, Candace? I don't_ think  _so._

That single triumphant thought was immediately followed by another, slightly less exuberant one, as the true meaning of Phineas' words sank into her mind.

Wait, so Phineas and Candace…  _Phineas_ and  _Candace_ …

Even though there was no one else in the room - and perhaps that was for the better? - she still felt her eyes grow wide in shock. What exactly had she found out? That her best friend since, like, ever… was getting involved  _romantically_ \- with  _her own brother_?! That… was not at all what she'd expected to find.

Well, actually, it sort of  _was_  what she'd expected to find. Given Irving's picture, at least. And all of the general weirdness that had taken place over the past days… well, it did make sense.

A weird, almost incomprehensible sort of sense, but sense nonetheless. It was just so odd to hear it confirmed - and was so much different from how she'd imagined it might be.

And the she thought about it, it  _was_ rather upsetting, really. No matter  _what_  was actually going on, she almost  _expected_  Candace to tell her by now, if she was being honest. They'd been friends for so long that it seemed ridiculous that Candace would keep something from her.

...well, considering the  _exact_  technicalities of this secret, maybe she could give her a pass this  _one_ time. Although Candace could probably use some lessons on  _how_  to keep a secret, given that she'd done a pretty… downright terrible job of keeping this one. Which, again, given… the exact nature of this thing was understandable to a degree.

Yeah, a lot was boiling down to what this thing was, wasn't it? Because although she'd tried to avoid thinking about it, there really was no escaping it. Well, she may not be able to escape it forever, but she could certainly escape it for now. It… might be for the best, actually. Stacy still wasn't sure how she was supposed to handle this piece of news. Or if she should be 'handling' it at all.

It was very confusing and weird and if she was being honest, she just really couldn't believe that  _Candace_ was going along with it. Or Phineas, for that matter. It… was kind of shocking.

And Phineas had taken her phone. Not that she could blame him for at least  _part_  of his motivation - that Candace could have apparently taken herself somewhere dangerous. She… hadn't known that was a possibility, actually, and it did worry her. But given that it'd been several minutes now, and no one had returned, she hoped that everyone was okay.

The  _other_  part of Phineas' motivation - that he was, by all appearances, at least, involved with his sister romantically… well, she didn't really know what to think about that. So maybe it was best not to think about it at all for a little while. Perhaps until she collected her thoughts on the matter?

She wasn't ready to accuse her best friend of what she now knew was true - of doing something that, if she was being honest, kinda grossed her out. Just the idea of it, really, was almost too shocking to believe. Which sounded strange to think, considering that this  _was_  the Flynn-Fletcher household, and that pretty much nothing was impossible here. Nothing at all, apparently.

Exhaling loudly in the empty room, she turned and plodded out, not entirely sure of how to deal with this new sudden shift in… in everything, really. Not in  _her_  life, specifically, but in her best friend's.

Her best friend that  _had_  tried to smother a  _really_  big secret from her - though in this case it was rather understandable. Was one of the few understandable things about the whole thing, really. Because at this point, what could she know?

It was something to think about as she made her along the short walk through the neighborhood back to her own home.

And as the evening wore on with no sign of life from her friends - not that there could have been a sign, given that Phineas had taken her phone, she grew more and more unsure of where this whole mess would go. It… well, it just depended. On lots of things.

What exactly had Phineas meant by what he said? How long had this been going on? What did they intend to do about it? Did anyone else realize this?

For a brief moment, she wondered if everyone already knew and she'd been the last one to not know, but that thought was swiftly dismissed as unlikely and absurd. After all, if Candace had thought to keep it from  _her_ , then there was no way she was going tell anyone else. And it wasn't like that was a bad idea - it was quite a good one.

Still, Stacy felt like she should have known about this sooner. How long had this been going on? It couldn't have been  _that_  long, right? With how conspicuous Candace was being about the whole thing, it really couldn't have been. A week or two, at most. Maybe three - if you were stretching. But anything much longer than that was entirely impossible for another reason too. Because at that time, only slightly longer than a month or so ago, Candace had still been dating Jeremy.

And that was a whole other mess in and of itself as well. Stacy'd never been told the  _exact_  details of what had gone down to separate them - those two that she'd always viewed as more or less inseparable. For a few reasons - not the least of which was Candace's incredibly possessive attitude towards him. They'd been together for years and years and years at this point, and Candace  _still_  would go on long nervous rambles on whether or not he would like things, or if he would dislike something, or if something would get in the way of their relationship.

Frankly, it was all too complicated for Stacy. She'd dated off and on with a few random people, but nothing had ever really…  _stuck_. And she didn't particularly mind either way, honestly. But it did make for an interesting contrast to her friend, who had had the same boyfriend since she was fifteen and  _still_  constantly stressed out over whether some little thing would cause them to break up.

To be fair, of course, Stacy didn't know what  _had_  broken them up in the end - so maybe she wasn't the one to speak on this subject. Maybe she shouldn't be speaking on this subject at  _all_ , given that Candace now apparently had found a new boyfriend - in her  _brother_. It was obvious that there was something going on that she didn't understand.

Or was there? It was possible, at least, that she did indeed know all that there was to know.

But whether it was all of it or no - at least she knew  _some_  the secret for sure now. So, that was a plus. Though she still half-wondered if it would have been better if she hadn't found out. Ignorance really  _is_  bliss, isn't it?

For the rest of the afternoon, she decided that she wasn't going to think about it anymore. It was just too weird, honestly. And she could hardly believe it in the first place, but that  _was_  what Phineas had said, wasn't it? And that meant, of course, that Irving's picture had been true. Which… was also something she decided she would  _not_  think about. The idea that her best friend had kissed her own brother like that, well, it turned her stomach and just flew contrary to everything she knew.

She did once ask Ginger for more details about Isabella, wondering if this whole debacle had something to do with that as well. It was certainly feasible, no? But Ginger had known nothing at all, or if she had, she'd done an excellent job hiding that fact. And with her phone gone off with Phineas and Candace to wherever they had gone, well, there wasn't much else she could do about it.

Okay, well, there was  _something_  she could do about it, if it became necessary. Ferb would surely be capable of tracking his siblings down to wherever they'd gone. If it became necessary, of course - because even with Phineas' little rant about teleportation and arbitrary locations or whatever, she still found it hard to believe that something could _actually_  go all that wrong, especially with  _him_  there. When was the last time  _that_  had happened?

Still, it was kind of a relief when, just as late afternoon was beginning to shift into something that might be described as evening, the doorbell downstairs rang, and her mother called out for her.

"Stacy! Door's for you!"

"I've got it!" she called back, darting downstairs. It was about time to - about time she got some explanation for all this. Like what Candace was thinking, for one. And why she'd thought it was such a good idea to keep this from her. And not even that, really, but more so why she'd kept it from her while  _insisting that she was doing no such thing_. Which was the really annoying thing.

Except when she got downstairs, and opened the door - it wasn't Candace.

Phineas was there instead, standing on the porch, looking idly off into the distance as he waited.

"Phineas?" This would be... fine too, she supposed. Although it  _would_  have been nice to have been able to talk to Candace directly, she couldn't forget that this was a bit of an extreme situation. And even just looking at Phineas standing in front of her, Stacy found it impossibly hard to reconcile his last words to her with everything she knew about him and his sister from years past.

"Hey," he answered. He paused for a moment, digging around in his pocket. "Ah. Here you go."

She reached out and took her phone back from him. "Thanks." It was oddly hot in her palm, and she briefly wondered just what he'd done to it that made it able to teleport him like that. She was pretty sure her phone couldn't normally do that. Either way - it appeared to be working, so it was probably fine.

For a moment there was an awkward silence - then he cleared his throat. "So, uh… you mind if I come inside? I think we should go somewhere… you know, more private. Because… you know."

She blinked. "Oh. Right. Of - of course."

Honestly, she had been hoping that this would come up - because it did need to be discussed, and very in-depth as well. But that didn't stop her from feeling rather awkward, even as she led the way inside, back up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"It's the best I can do," she said, closing the door behind them.

He nodded. "It works for me."

She sat down on her bed, and stared at him for a moment. "So…?"

"Right." He cleared his throat again. "I  _did_  say I'd answer all your questions. After. And it is after, now, so I guess I'm here for that."

The sheer forthrightness of the statement took her aback a little. It was all just so strange - she could hardly believe it to be true. Well… maybe it wasn't? There was still a possibility of that, right?

"So," she finally began. "Are… you, you know, and  _Candace_ , actually like, the whole - whole 'boyfriend-girlfriend' thing?"

For another moment there was silence. Then Phineas nodded. "Yes. It's been… about two weeks? Around there."

So that was all there was to it, then? Just 'yes'? She really had found them out this time. It was actually happening. Her best friend had decided to make a  _boyfriend_ out of her own brother? It all sounded so ridiculous she could hardly believe her own thoughts. As far as Stacy had ever seen, Phineas Flynn had never really shown an interest of any kind in the romantic at all. And, of course, there was Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, whom half the town knew was dead set on winning his affections despite that. To hear it so calmly and matter-of-factly confirmed that he  _had_  experienced a romantic inclination, and more so than that, that the target of said inclination was his  _own sister_ …

She really couldn't believe it. And after all the impossible things she'd seen happen over the course of her lifetime, that was saying something.

"Phineas…" she began. "You - you  _do_  realize that this is a bad idea, right? That you can't do this?" She paused. "For  _many_  reasons."

"Many reasons?" he echoed. "Like… what?"

"I… mean - Candace's your sister. You do realize that, right?" She shook her head. "What that  _means_ , obviously, because I'm sure you realize that, I mean, that would be a dumb question."

Phineas smiled slightly. "I know. And I know all about why we  _shouldn't_ do it - why we  _can't_ , even. But it… it's still happening. And it's  _working_. And… yeah."

Stacy swallowed, becoming rather uncomfortable at the tone he was using - knowing full well by now that he was referencing his own sister rather than the plethora of other, more generally-acceptable options.

"Good for you, I guess?" She didn't really know how to respond to that. It'd never been in her nature to be harsh or contrarian, really. To directly tell him that he  _couldn't_  do this didn't seem like a good choice - and in all likelihood, it wouldn't help anyway. Yet to congratulate him on being in what, according to him, was a working relationship didn't seem, well,  _right_ , considering who it was with. It was altogether a thorny situation - a real catch-22.

"Thanks," he replied. "I get that most people aren't going to be super into this, but that's fine with me, considering how I - just how I  _feel_ , I guess. And Candace - well, it bothers her too. But… as of right now, it's not going to stop us."

"That's… nice." She paused, trying to think of some rational thing to say - even if it wasn't going to be a direct objection. "So… Candace is actually into this thing? You know, like,  _sincerely_ , and all that?"

He looked at her, and there wasn't even a flicker of doubt in his eyes when he answered. "Yes."

"I see." There wasn't much else to say, was there? Sure, Stacy figured, she  _could_ go on a long rant about how brothers and sisters weren't supposed to do things like this, and how shocking and kinda gross it really was. But, based on what she'd seen and heard and what he'd said to her just now, Phineas and Candace both had probably heard all of that before. And it really wouldn't do any good to rehash all that. And especially not to  _Phineas_ , who she was fairly sure she'd never be able to dissuade from anything at all - much less something that he seemingly held feelings this strong for.

So she remained quiet for a moment, until Phineas spoke up, a little awkward at first, but quickly getting ahold of himself. "You're… not mad?"

The tone it was asked in almost made her start laughing. "I - no, I guess I'm not  _mad_ ," she admitted. "Well, kinda, yeah. Candace really has no business lying to my face like that for all that time. That  _is_  kinda maddening."

"But about me and her…?" he pressed. "Candace thought - thought you'd be  _so_ mad and disgusted about the whole thing."

"It  _does_  kinda creep me out," she said. "More than 'kinda', honestly. And I  _was_  shocked. And I am pretty worried about the whole thing. But I  _guess_  I'm not  _mad_ , per se."

"Candace will be happy to hear that," he replied. "Though… what exactly are you  _worried_ about?" He shook his head. "Unless it's like, general worry or something? Is that even a thing? Or is it something  _specific_  to me and Candace because of the whole, you know, us-being-siblings?"

Stacy frowned. "I mean, what can you expect? I just happen upon the fact that my best friend who recently went through a terrible breakup has snapped back all of the sudden - and that she's apparently gotten into a romantic thing with her  _brother_? It sounds-"

"Like a whiplash?" he finished the sentence, nodding. "Candace… she did say something to the effect of her worrying about people thinking that."

"Mmm." Stacy nodded. "I can certainly see why."

"Well," he continued. "I guess you'd probably rather  _her_  tell you, but I can do it too." He paused. "I don't think it's anything of the sort. Candace and I, we… talked. About a lot of things. And that was included in there. I really do love her, Stacy. And… she told me she did too. I believe her. There's no doubt, at least not in  _my_ mind."

He was being honest, wasn't he? It was a marked change from how he'd carried himself just this afternoon when trying - and failing, but still trying - to lie to her. His voice didn't shake, nor did his eyes attempt to avoid meeting hers, nor did any indication of his nervous tic resurface.

And apparently Candace had told him that she  _returned_  his feelings. Stacy hadn't heard  _that_  before. How exactly was she supposed to respond to something like that? It seemed to slam the door on a lot of options. Options of which there weren't that many in the first place, considering she hardly knew where this conversation was going anyway. Was she supposed to be convincing him this was a bad idea? Probably so, yes, but so far every effort in that direction had failed - not that she'd made that many in the first place.

It was a more difficult undertaking than one might think, she reflected. Considering he'd deflected the single biggest argument against it - the fact that he and Candace were siblings - by simply not particularly caring. And, according to him at least, Candace felt the same way - or at least close enough to the same way to agree to this in the first place. There were a few more objections she might raise, and likely would, but they were things that  _ordinary_  couples dealt with, and nothing near the scale of 'you two are brother and sister'.

Because when it all came down to it, that was the  _real_ reason against it, wasn't it? Or at least the single biggest one. Because the thought of seeing her friend in a romantic relationship like that with said friend's brother was creepy, and it unsettled her. Stacy'd seen Phineas and Candace interact in a fraternal way for so long that the idea of that changing into  _this_ … it was quite a shock. And it would be quite a change.

"Congratulations," she said dryly. "I suppose you take that to mean you were 'meant to be' or something?"

"Meant to be?" he echoed. "No… I don't think anyone 'meant' it to be this way. I was succinctly informed by a computer capable of predicting the future that it was never going to happen. If anything, it was meant to  _not_  be - impossible, as it were."

"I see." Stacy nodded slowly. "But for the people who regularly achieve the impossible, not even this was too farfetched a task, was it?"

Phineas smiled slightly. "I guess you could look at it that way. It's… different from that, though. Because when you're dealing with scientific 'impossibilities', you're not actually dealing with impossibilities - but rather with things that people  _think_ are impossible, but actually are not, with the right tools for the job. And for all those things, you can follow the same set of instructions and get the same result every time, and it doesn't matter what you or I or anyone  _thinks_  - because that's the way it is. And the way you feel isn't going to change the fact that only pizzazium infinionite can generate high enough energy levels to puncture the space-time continuum's protective outer extra-dimensional barrier, for instance."

"I see," she repeated, even though she didn't.

"But this," Phineas continued. "Is… different. Because it's not all set in stone like that, and it does matter what people, well, what  _Candace_  thinks. And feels. And me too. And it - well, I don't really know. But I like it, and I love  _her_ , and this… I know people will think it's weird, and I know we have to keep it a secret, but that's fine with me, because I really do want it. And Candace's told me that she does too. So, we'll make it work."

"I see," she said for the third time in a row. "Well, you're not wrong, I guess. So there's that."

And he  _wasn't_  wrong, really, at least not about that. If he'd been talking about Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, or literally just about any other girl, then she wouldn't really have had any objections or misgivings about it. It was just the fact that he  _wasn't_  talking about 'any other girl' - he was talking about his sister.

Irving's picture recurred to her just at that moment, and she realized just how deep into this thing her best friend and best friend's brother really were. If nothing had stopped them so far, what were the odds that  _she_  was going to be able to say something that would stop them?

"Secret relationships are… difficult," she noted aloud. "Both you  _and_ Candace are pretty terrible at keeping secrets, honestly, and over these past few days it  _really_  seemed like it was stressing her out."

Phineas nodded solemnly. "I know. We know. And I know that I'm bad at secrets, but Candace is helping me, and I'm managing. And she's… told me that she worries over it too. But we can handle it, you know, together, the way - the way  _couples_  do. And I know it won't be easy - heck, even just these past two weeks have had a few close calls - but nothing really cool is ever easy. And this is more than just 'really cool'. And so… we'll make it work. I know we can."

Stacy exhaled slightly. "If anyone on the planet can make something like this work, then it'd be you." She paused. "You two, I guess?"

And in all honesty, if Phineas was as committed to it as he seemed, and Candace was as much as he said… they probably could. Or at least they'd have a chance. And she wasn't sure how to react to that possibility. Because on one hand - congratulations, you're in a working relationship - with someone you  _apparently_ love - that has a good chance of sticking together. And on the other hand - that relationship is with your own sister. In Candace's case, her own brother. Was the relationship really worth that added factor constantly weighing it down?

And the short answer was: no, no it wasn't.

At least not to Stacy.

But, apparently, to Phineas and Candace, it was. And as rather unsettling as she found the idea, what exactly could she do to prevent it? Candace had been her best friend for years and years now, and it seemed rather foolish to let all that go to waste. If they really wanted to do this thing, then they could have at it. She wasn't going to try to stop them - not that she really thought she could have either way.

Yeah, it was weird and kinda creeped her out. And it seemed like the sort of thing that would never work, at least not when you considered it from a purely logistical angle. But she still didn't intend to lose her best friend over it, in any case. And so, if that meant tolerating something of this nature, then that's what she'd have to do.

"I do have to ask you one thing," Phineas said, drawing her attention back to himself. "It's kinda the same thing I said to Isabella: I know you may not immediately  _accept_  it, but that's alright - I'd just ask that you keep the secret and - and don't be too upset at Candace for it. She… is kinda worried that you might not want to be friends anymore because of it."

Stacy raised her eyebrows slightly. Candace had seriously thought that she was going to end their friendship because of this thing - and had still gone ahead with it? That was… surprising. And perhaps she should take it as proof of exactly how much Candace cared about this thing - that it wasn't just an unhealthy whiplash, or something she'd gone along with for grins and giggles without giving it serious consideration.

...or maybe she should simply take it at face value and assume it to mean that right now, her best friend was laboring under the mistaken idea that Stacy was going to permanently kick her out of her life over this.

That idea had never really entered her mind, honestly, even at the moment she'd first found out and been slapped in the face with shock and a little bit of natural reflexive repulsion. And she'd been  _mad_ , yes, but more so at the idea that Candace had kept this from her and flat-out lied to her face over it, than at anything else. Which was certainly something they'd have to discuss, but wasn't reason to end a nearly lifelong friendship.

And to be completely fair: she could understand why Candace might think it was better to hide this one thing. It was, after all, shocking and a little gross. Still, that didn't change anything.

"I'll keep your secret," she agreed. "I was… not really planning on telling anyone anyway. I wouldn't really want to start any trouble and that… seemed like it would probably do just that."

Phineas nodded. "Thanks."

"And I guess I should go over and tell Candace that it's, well, I'm not gonna say  _okay_ … but that it's alright." She paused awkwardly. "If you, ah, know what I mean. That I… don't care. Per se." She didn't mean to come off as rude or anything… but wasn't deciding to ignore the situation enough? It was more than a lot of people would do, for sure. She thought her decision to 'not care' what Phineas and Candace did was quite a fair resolution, in all honesty. They could do… whatever they wanted with each other, and she'd made up her mind to look the other way while all that stuff was going on.

It was fair, right? It was fair. You couldn't reasonably expect her just up and immediately be all in for this thing, especially considering she'd only just discovered it for sure this afternoon and it  _was_  a bad idea. But if they wanted to have at it, whatever. It didn't involve her - but it did involve her best friend.

"No, no it's fine," he hastily assured her. "I mean, Candace worried you would be so mad over it - anything will be better than that." He smiled. "She'll be so happy."

"Well… good for her." She leaned over and peered at her clock. "There's still a bit before it'll be dinnertime. Guess I could go over right now - are you heading home? I could go with you, I guess."

"I am," he agreed. "That… actually does sound like a good idea. Oh, Candace'll be so surprised. It'll be great."

Stacy smiled slightly. "That's great." She stood up and walked over to her closet, retrieving her shoes.

Phineas waited patiently for her to pull them, then turned and led the way back out of the bedroom and back down the stairs. "Hey, Ginger," he greeted in passing as they walked past the girl's bedroom.

"Will you tell Mom I'm heading back over to Candace's house for a bit?" Stacy asked her sister. "I'll be back."

Ginger looked curious, but nodded. "Okay? See ya."

The walk through the neighborhood was short, as it tended to be. It was cooler by now than it'd been in the middle of the day, and altogether quite pleasant. At first Stacy was worried that it was going to be an awkward walk in silence - but she'd forgotten exactly who she was going to be walking with.

Phineas latched onto the conversation and somehow effortlessly kept it up, despite her being too occupied with her thoughts to do much participating in it. How'd he do it? It had to be because he was used to dealing with his brother, who never talked. Or at least, not often.

Either way, she was mostly silent until they turned down the intersection of Sycamore Lane and Maple Drive, and her curiosity - morbid curiosity - got the better of her. She really should stop sticking her nose into things that weren't her own business, shouldn't she? Yes, yes she should - and would. Starting tomorrow.

"-and then, that's when Ferb-"

"Hey, Phineas?" she spoke up.

He ground to a halt in the middle of the story. "What's going on?"

"I was just kinda wondering - I mean, I  _did_  see Irving's pictures, which… frankly, I wish I hadn't. But whatever. Either way, I never really got around to asking you before, but… how long has this thing between-" she paused, surveying their surroundings. There wasn't anyone around, but better safe than sorry, right? "-this thing been going on?"

"Hmm," he mused. "I'd say… three weeks? To maybe four, but that's really kinda stretching it."

"Uh huh." Taking care to rephrase her questions into something that wouldn't arouse suspicion if they  _were_ overheard somehow, she continued. "So… how exactly did this happen? Did you, like, just wake up one day and decide that you were gonna do this?" Based on what he'd said back in her bedroom, and based on Irving's picture, she felt fairly sure that this really was no misinterpretation of platonic affection, but you never knew, did you? And it really was better to be safe than sorry. It really was.

"No," he answered slowly. "It happened… gradually. So much so that I didn't even realize it until Ferb pointed it out. But I know the difference between-" he paused. "-between how I feel around Ferb. And how I feel for Candace. It's not the same."

Stacy quickly glanced left and right and behind them again. That had been  _slightly_  on the dangerous side of things, she thought. Though it was probably okay, given that no one appeared to be around at the moment. "Okay," she finally replied. She still wasn't quite sure how much she  _truly_  believed him - but he at least appeared to be telling the truth. And if he was, well… that would be that.

She'd already decided that she wasn't going to care. If they should get to the Flynn-Fletcher house and Candace should confirm everything there… then that would just be how things would be. And, because Candace was her best friend, she was going to turn and look the other way and suck it up and let Candace and her brother do whatever they wanted to do with each other. It really wasn't any of her business anyway.

And as they turned off the sidewalk at the Flynn-Fletcher house and crossed the driveway into the backyard, she made up her mind for sure. If that was how things were going to be, then that was how they were going to be. No matter what happened, in her opinion, her friendship with Candace was still worth more than all this craziness that may or may not be going on. And with the chance of that 'may not' looking increasingly slim, it was a good thing they'd been friends as long as they had.

"I wonder if she's back yet," Phineas said to himself. "Hang on, I'll ask Mom."

He walked across the yard and pulled open the sliding glass door, disappearing into the living room. A few moments later, he returned. "Nope."

"Ah," Stacy replied. "How much longer do you think she'll be?" She saw him shrug slightly. "Guess we wait, then. I've got some time."


	26. The Girl Next Door

When she heard the doorbell ring, the first thought that entered Isabella Garcia-Shapiro's head was:  _Not again_.

She thought that, maybe, if she remained quiet on the couch, that he would just go away. Ugh - if only her mother hadn't had to run out to the restaurant for something or the other. Then at least she could've had her mother answer the door again, and again, tell Phineas that she really didn't feel like facing him.

But Phineas would surely get the message anyway, maybe? Isabella listlessly picked up the television remote and resumed the program, lowering the volume of the set a few notches as she did so. Maybe he'd think that no one was home or something.

This was killing her, really it was. All this sitting around inside, watching TV and eating and surfing on the Internet what to do with your life when the boy you'd crushed on for eight years dumped you and told you to 'put it behind you'. Fireside Girl troop meetings were the only real excuse she had for going out anymore - and even those had been affected by the sudden shift in her life.

No more crazy cool and exotic patches, at least. Not unless she could figure out a way to travel the seven hundred and forty six million miles to Saturn - and again, coming back, on her own. Why did the Fireside Girls' handbook even  _have_  a 'Traveled to Saturn' patch? It ranked up there with 'Wrestling an Alligator' and 'Revolutionizing the Modern Understanding of Quantum Physics' on the list of patches she was pretty sure were originally intended as jokes or something.

But Candace Flynn had wrestled down an alligator, and with Phineas and Ferb's help, quantum physics' modern understanding had been successfully revolutionized. It'd been fun, while it lasted. Which was supposed to be forever, of course, but now apparently… wasn't.

The doorbell rang again, and then someone pounded directly on the door.

Isabella rolled her eyes and groaned aloud. She  _really_  didn't feel up to facing Phineas right now - for a multitude of reasons. A  _vast_  multitude. It was just as likely to dissolve into a repeat of the last time she'd allowed him to come inside - that was to say, an utter disaster, and nothing less.

At the time she'd still been hoping against hope that there was still a chance for her and Phineas to end up together. Sure, in a stunning blow to all she held dear in this world, she'd discovered that he possessed a forbidden crush on his own  _sister_ , if you could believe such an outrageous thing.

But there had still been a  _chance_  at that point. Because, as she'd figured, surely he would know better than to actually do anything based on that 'crush' of his - which was hardly even deserving of that title, in her opinion. Perhaps… 'unhealthy infatuation' was a more apt description. No, that was mean.

...still, it was a little deserved, right? Especially considering who he'd turned down to go chasing after his own sister. Her. Because apparently her having a crush on him was grounds for doubting the strength of their friendship. Or relationship, as Isabella had often thought of it. Because they really  _were_  that close - she'd just needed a little bit more time to subtly push him in the appropriate direction. But apparently she failed bigtime with  _that_ , hadn't she?

And the final nail in the coffin had been when Phineas had come over and, in slightly more words, told her that he was simply 'not interested'. That he had his romantic interests 'fully occupied'. And she knew what he meant by  _that_.

The pounding at the door resumed, so persistent and obnoxious that she could hardly believe Phineas was behind it. Dragging herself off the couch, she slowly trudged down the hall towards the door. "I'm co-o-o-ming! Geez!"

This'd better  _not_ be Phineas, or else she was half inclined to give him a piece of her mind. Half inclined - but probably wouldn't, just like what had happened last time, too. Because she just  _couldn't_  bring herself to express how she really felt to him. And he didn't even get it, even after all this time. Sure, it was nice of him to come on over and say he didn't mean it when he'd accused her of never even being his friend in the first place. That was a nice enough thing to say, wasn't it? Sure.

But it didn't change the fact that he had said it in the first place, did it? No, of course not. And it boiled her blood that he would have said it all - that he dared to imply that she  _hadn't cared_ about him? Oh, yeah, because her just seconds before that confessing the extent to which she did care for him wasn't enough?

And admittedly, that confession may not have been appropriate for the situation. But that didn't matter - because she was right, and she knew it. Phineas had  _way_ overstepped his boundaries this time with that. And though she sometimes felt a little guilty for giving him that impression, it only served to make her madder.

Or it had, at the time. Anger tends to drain when it has nothing to be taken out on, and now she was just… listless. Apathetic. What was there to do? Phineas - and the idea of someday winning his love - had been the very thing she lived for. And that had been torn away from her - in a way she'd never expected, a way that could not have been more upsetting if it had tried.

And Ginger Hirano had tried to help, but Isabella had still refused to rat out the actual disturbing truth to her friend. She didn't know why. He hardly deserved it, having so randomly rejected her after so many years.

Perhaps it was because she as yet still refused to completely give up  _all_  hope - so many years in Phineas' constant company had rubbed on her a lot more than she'd realized. And there was still a chance, no matter how small, that he might still come to his senses about this thing, and she would be there. And she wasn't going to do something that might weaken that already slim chance.

But as time had dragged on and on and on… that tiny spark of hope had been all but stamped out anyway. There was only so much comfort she could derive from her spliced-together soundbites of his voice. And after a few days, she'd become unable to listen to them anyway.

"Isabell - Will - you - Mar - Ry - Meee!"

It'd been her favorite clip for a long time, but now the thought of listening it just turned her stomach. Those were words she'd been waiting patiently to hear for years and years, and every passing year seemed to be another milestone - bringing her closer to the ultimate fulfillment of her oh-so-carefully laden plans. And everything had been moving along so wonderfully, too. Aside from him actually realizing what was going on, which she… was working on. Slow and steady wins the race, after all.

How could this have happened? She'd gotten just about the best proof they were 'meant to be' anyone reasonable could have asked for. A couple years ago, they'd literally traveled  _into the future_  and met Future Candace's future children - one of whom had commented that she resembled 'Aunt Isabella'. Which, obviously, meant that she was right, that her future was assured, that Phineas was eventually going to surrender to the inevitable and fall in love with her.

And yet… none of that was coming to pass. How could it all have gone so wrong? So  _horribly_  wrong? She hardly knew - but one thing she did know was that she was not about to hash this out with Phineas again. The last thing she needed was to have her face rubbed in her failure  _again_. It was more than she could take. It was more than anyone would be able to take, let alone her.

And Ginger had been  _some_  help, but Isabella could feel her friend thinking that she should've been 'more proactive' to avert this thing before it had happened. But no! She hadn't needed to be 'more proactive' or whatever. That was her future! She'd  _literally seen it with her own eyes_. It wasn't up to chance or fate or luck or anything. It was a - was supposed to be a sure thing.

And slow and steady wins the race.

Or so she'd thought, before Phineas had thought to inform her that she was being dumped so he could go off and get tangled up in some unhealthy thing with his sister. Yeah, because  _this_ was something she'd thought she would have to prepare for. Everyone in Danville knew that Phineas was hers - that he was off-limits. Everyone, apparently, except for his sister. And somehow Candace, having just suffered through some kind of breakup with Jeremy Johnson, had decided that the next best thing was to go after her brother.

...or something like that. Isabella didn't know the exact details to it, nor did she want to. It was enough to know that her plan for her future, for her life, was ruined. And she'd gotten in not one or two, but three separate fights with Phineas since that time - something she'd almost never done before. And now, she almost felt guilty for it - for the reaction she'd seen on his face, and the knowledge that she was actually upsetting him to a degree that she hadn't quite known was possible.

But screw all that! She was upset too. More upset than she'd ever been before, really. And he still didn't seem to get was wrong with what he was doing - what he was throwing away - and  _why_  she was so upset and hurt in the first place. And that made her  _mad_ , and rightly so.

Mad enough to reject him at the door, mad enough to continue staying away from the Flynn-Fletcher house, and refusing to reach out to him at all, even when her entire being cried out for some explanation to these horribly twisted events of the past weeks. It wasn't like he had any explanation either - except the lame, transparent ones he'd already tried to pawn off on her.

Like he could somehow miss all her advances over the years, and still pick up on whatever Candace had done that could've put those thoughts in his brain.

It was enough to make anyone mad - and she was no exception. It felt bad to be so steadily tearing their friendship apart, but if it had to happen, this was the sort of situation that would merit it. Because although the whole 'random-rejection' thing was bad… it was the 'with-his-sister' factor that made it just flat-out unforgivable.

It was altogether a complex situation. But in spite of all that, she knew one thing for certain. Whatever Phineas thought he had to say to her, she didn't want to listen. Unless, perhaps, he was here to tell her that he'd realized what a terrible mistake he was making?

No, no matter how much she wished in her heart for that to happen, she knew somehow that it never would. Phineas had very emphatically made it clear that he had no interest in returning the feelings she'd cultivated practically since meeting him for the first time. And though she could hope and dream that he might recant those words, something in the way he'd said them had… killed any real chance those dreams had of coming true.

And she just didn't know where she went wrong. Everything was set. She'd seen the future. How could this all have gone so haywire?

She turned the deadbolt and swung the door inward a little bit. "Phineas, I…"

Her speech trailed away a little bit. That  _certainly_ wasn't Phineas on her front porch. "Candace?"

Okay, just… no. She didn't feel up to facing Phineas again, and she certainly didn't want to have anything at all to do with his sister. Candace was… well, apparently, she'd been the one who'd attracted Phineas' attention away from Isabella, in utter disregard for the blood tie she and Phineas shared - a tie that should have made such a thing impossible.

Well, that was that, then. Was Phineas not brave enough to come over and face her himself? She definitely wasn't going to stand this - not for another instant.

"No," she said firmly. " _Goodbye_."

And she shut the door - or tried to. Candace stuck her foot in the way of the jamb, preventing it from latching. "Oh, no," she said. "You're gonna listen to what I have to say, whether you like it or not."

"And why should I do that?" Isabella sarcastically asked, kicking half-heartedly at Candace's foot, trying to push it out of the way. She really wasn't in the mood for this. Her mixed feelings for and about Phineas made confrontations like this with him insufferably awkward - but with Candace, there was no such feeling. And no such awkwardness either.

"Because I said so," Candace returned. "Because you can't just keep hiding in there forever. Now open up!"

"I said no!" Isabella repeated. "And I'm  _definitely_ not listening to  _you_ anyway. Now butt out of my business!"

"Yeah, well, gladly - any other time," Candace said coolly, reaching into the crack in the door and pushing it farther open. "But this involves my brother and I don't intend to let you upset him anymore."

"What?!" Isabella spluttered, hardly able to believe her own ears. She lost her grip on the front door, and Candace triumphantly shoved it open. "Let - let -  _me_  upset  _him_?!" She clenched her fists. "Oh, you have  _got_  to be kidding me!"

"You heard me," Candace repeated. "You may not realize it, but I can see it - everyone can. He's really bothered about it, and you just keep making it worse."

"Well,  _excuse me_  for being upset about what he did!" Isabella was getting angry now. "It's not like you can say anything anyway - I know what you did and I don't want any part in it!"

Candace turned deep red at that, which was somewhat satisfying to see. She knew from her 'Debate Club' patch that she wasn't exactly following the most logical path in her argument - but come on now. In a world where Phineas Flynn had abandoned  _her_ in favor of romancing his own  _sister_ … logic didn't seem to be working like it was supposed to anymore.

And what was more - Isabella could tell by Candace's furiously flushed face that she had the upper hand, and she knew she needed to press it if she wanted to end this situation as quickly as possible.

"I don't know who you think you are," she started. "Coming over here and thinking you can defend what's been going on? I can't believe you! You have  _no idea_  what this is like for me - and you want to get on to  _me_ for upsetting  _him_? I don't think so."

"Now you just hold it  _right_ there," Candace retorted. "I don't intend to defend anyone - and maybe before I came over here I was still thinking that he was overreacting to your grand reveal a little, but oh, definitely not  _now_!"

"Well I don't care what you think." Isabella gestured violently in Candace's general direction. "Because I know what  _else_  you think is okay, too. And let me tell you, I've never heard of a more vile or contemptible idea in my  _life_!"

"Well, I…" Candace spluttered. "I - I don't care what you think - since you apparently also think it's okay to keep slamming the door in Phineas' face when he tries to come over here." Her expression momentarily softened. "It really bothers him, you know that?" Then she lowered her eyebrows and stabbed at the air with her finger. "So that's why I came over - to tell you to just  _suck it up_. Because you're bothering my brother, and I won't have it."

"Why?' Isabella asked, lilting her voice as sardonically as she could manage. "Because you two are all… lovey-dovey now?" She scrunched up her face, grimacing. "Blegh!"

"I - what - no!" Candace stammered, looking more embarrassed than ever. "I just - ugh - he's my  _brother_  and it makes me  _mad_  to see him constantly upset over you when I  _know_ he's tried to patch things up."

Phineas was constantly upset - and over her? So their original fights  _had_ affected him too. Knowing this for sure… made her feel partly more guilty, and partly smug, for some reason. Vindicated, in a way. Because despite all he'd rambled to her about them never being friends in the first place, he obviously cared for her more than he'd let on.

But not enough to actually see how much  _she_ cared about  _him_ \- on a level that was vastly deeper than whatever he'd had for her.

"Well, brother or no, you obviously didn't let that stop you," she retorted. "So I think you should just go off and do whatever freaky stuff you do nowadays, and let me sit here in  _peace_  - because you have zero clue what I'm going through and it's really none of your business  _anyways_." She laughed, short and bitter. "I don't get what you see in Phineas anyway. You  _do_  realize that his head is a triangle?"

Candace frowned. "Shut it," she snapped. "What  _I_  decide to do with this… situation is none of your concern. So keep out! It's not like you ever had anything with Phineas anyway, except a one-sided obsession that was about as subtle as a punch to the face, and about as healthy as one, too."

"Like  _you're_  one to tell me what's 'healthy'," Isabella rejoined. "Do I even need to  _mention_  all the irony behind that statement? Or about obsessions, because apparently you just don't remember how stupidly consumed you used to be with Jeremy Johnson. You're  _hardly_  one to lecture  _me_."

Candace winced slightly at her ex boyfriend's name, and Isabella felt a small prick of guilt for dredging up such a topic - but it had to be dredged up.

"Sucks, doesn't it?" she continued. "Yeah. Well, I  _loved_  Phineas, too, for eight  _freaking_  years, and he  _never_  responded to me. So I was forced to resort to the next best thing - to taking his words and his actions out of context to comfort myself, to assure myself that he  _did_  love me back, and that it was just a matter of time." Her voice faltered slightly, but she persisted. "And I thought I had it - had it all planned out. I saw the  _future_ , for goodness' sake. You were there! And your future children, who plainly pointed me out as resembling 'Aunt Isabella'. How could I have gone wrong with  _that_?"

"The future's constantly changing," Candace remarked dryly. "Time travel's hardly reliable as a method of proving something to be true."

"Oh, can it!" Isabella snapped, feeling herself grow angry again. "You'll never know what it's like. I loved him - actually loved him, in a real and healthy way that actually could have gone somewhere. And after so many years, it's just… kaput. Gone. Done. My dreams… my plans… my future. All gone. So just get out of here, will you?"

Candace frowned again, but she appeared more thoughtful than angry - and she also closed the front door behind her and leaned back against it. "I'll never know what that's like, huh?" She snorted, and Isabella almost got the impression she was talking to herself. "Right. Because I guess Jeremy just… doesn't count for anything? I loved him too, you know. I always thought he was perfect."

"But I'm... stupid sometimes," Candace continued. "And I… I ruined everything. What I tried to do was a… a horrible thing and I can't really blame him for breaking up with me. And I always  _knew_  it was my fault, too. But you can't imagine how it felt to have him just be… gone. We'd been together for years now." She looked up, the expression on her face suddenly gone so pale and haggard that Isabella couldn't help feeling a tiny bit bad for her. "I had a wonderful plan. Everybody knew about it. We were going to date. Through college. Then get married. And have two children, Xavier and Amanda. It was going to be perfect. And now… none of it will ever happen."

Isabella grit her teeth and reminded herself of exactly who she was dealing with here - and for what reason she'd come over - and remained silent.

Candace, however, didn't seem to notice. "So I think you'll find yourself mistaken when you say I have no idea what I'm talking about. Because I do."

Still, Isabella was hardly convinced. "That's…" she couldn't really find it in herself to be so cold anymore, though she wasn't exactly moved to pity either. "...sucky. But it's hardly the same thing." She crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. "Because as we  _all_  know, the main difference here is that while  _I_  had a normal, perfectly, justifiable crush -  _you_ thought that the best way to deal with a breakup was to latch onto your  _brother_. Why? I don't know. Maybe because he's the only one who'd not immediately shut you down, because that's just how he is and you know it." She hesitated slightly. "I don't know and I don't care. All I do know is that the boy that I've loved since the day I met him dumped me. For his  _sister_ … and I don't know how to deal with that."

She paused slightly, her tone becoming more bitter. "But I guess you know all about that, don't you? So kindly  _butt out_ of my business, okay? I don't want to have anything to do with  _any_  of you anymore. You… sicken me. Just get out." She pointed at the door, then turned and stalked off, back into the living room.

Just who did Candace think she was anyway, coming over here to lecture her like that? Well, she certainly hadn't helped the situation any, that was for sure. Isabella was sure Phineas was upset - who wasn't? - This whole situation was an absolute mess. But the difference was that her own frustration was perfectly justified - and that Phineas somehow expected her to just be all fine and happy with seeing her dreams torn to shreds in front of her - as if a simple apology could ever make up for him cavorting off with his own sister taking the role that she'd desired for so long.

She plopped back down on the couch in a huff.

Now that her chances of actually getting together with Phineas seemed to have been pretty well sold off down the river, she couldn't exactly help but get mad at him - at Candace - at everyone. It was like she'd wasted all that time, hadn't she? In pursuit of something that, apparently, had been just a pipe dream that  _entire_ time. And Phineas himself had cast the nature of their entire friendship in doubt - something which she could still hardly believe. Oh, because having a little crush on him was that threatening to being friends? Not that her crush was 'little' by any means, but the point still stood.

He'd been  _way_  overreacting.

She didn't know what she expected, really. Well… that wasn't true. She had an idea of what she would have  _liked_  to happen pending her ultimate reveal.

To have him realize that, whoa, she was in love with him? Well, that was great, because the feeling was mutual. And they could live happily ever after, in love, as she'd always dreamed of.

Sure, she liked to imagine that scenario playing out, but she'd never really quite  _expected_  it. It seemed a little… out there, if she was being honest with herself. But then what  _had_  she expected?

Well, nothing, really. She'd always sort of assumed that it was going to happen eventually - in some way - but hadn't ever really thought about specifically how that might happen. Still, she'd certainly not foreseen something like this. Being forced to come clean because Ferb - because it was pretty obviously him who did it - saw fit to rat her secret out, which also happened to coincide with her discovery of Phineas' repellent… feelings for his sister, which Isabella still refused to recognize as anything other.

And her perfectly planned future had all come spiralling apart at a breakneck pace. And even though Phineas had tried to come back to her and apologize for saying that she'd cast their entire friendship in doubt, she'd been far to broken up by the reveal of exactly  _why_  he was rejecting her to want anything to do with him. And not just that knowledge… but him flatly, almost cruelly, saying that no matter what she ever thought, he'd never had any inclination towards romancing her. At all.

And all the little bits and pieces of conversation that she'd clung to for so many years as 'evidence' that he really did love her had suddenly seemed like silly worthless bits of… of nothing - of her jumping to conclusions over things that were hardly worthy of that anyway. But she'd been  _so_ desperate. Who could blame her?

What was she supposed to do now?

Nothing. Just sit here and stew. That seemed fair.

There was a footstep at the entrance to the living room, and Candace appeared there, looking a bit pale and with eyes slightly bloodshot - but she still offered a tiny smile as she stepped into the room.

"What?" Isabella asked, hardly able to even find it in herself to be exasperated anymore. She'd been mad and upset and broken-up more often and more violently in the past week alone than in the rest of her life combined. And it was exhausting. "Why don't you just get out of my house?"

"Because," Candace returned. "I told Phineas I was gonna come over here and give you a what-for and I don't intend to leave until I have." She paused. "So… why exactly did you turn him away yesterday when he came over here?"

"Why do you think?" Isabella burst. "I'll give you one guess. Let's see if you can get it on the first try."

"I… figured as much." Candace sat on a armchair and put her face down into her hands, inhaling deeply. "It's… weird, isn't it?"

Rolling her eyes, Isabella shrugged her shoulders. "That's the understatement of the year. I can think of a thousand better-suited adjectives to use there. Try 'creepy' or 'messed-up' or 'disgusting' or just plain 'wrong'. But what do I know?" She didn't know why she was trying to provoke a rise out of Candace again. If Candace was mad, then she'd been justified in getting mad back, so there was that.

But Candace didn't get mad again - instead she shook her head and sighed. "I know. I know. I'm a- it's just not normal."

"No, no it's not," Isabella responded coldly. "You can quit trying to reverse-psych me now, or whatever you're trying to do. You're utter garbage at it - and I have three patches in psychology."

Candace looked up and her eyes narrowed. "Yeah, right. Look here - as far I'm concerned, you can shove off. I've seen how bothered Phineas gets after coming over here and fighting with you. And that is not acceptable, not on my watch, not with my little brother."

"Oh, so, he's your little brother  _now_? Explain to me how  _that_  works, will you?"

Candace ignored the comment, except to cast a hard glare in the general direction of the couch. "And the only reason I'm not over here telling you to get out of all of our lives permanently is because he'd never forgive me if I said that to you." She threw her arms up in the air. "Everyone on the face of the earth knew about your crush. Except Phineas himself. And it never occurred to you that might be a problem?"

"I had everything under control," Isabella returned coldly. "It was all going fine, except for the fact that you… thought you should steal him away from me."

"Right," Candace snorted. "Because that's totally something I would do. Stupid -  _Phineas_ reached out to  _me_."

"Yes, I'm aware of that fact," Isabella retorted. "He made it exceedingly clear last time we talked."

"And yet you still-" Candace cut herself off. " _Whatever_." She shook her head fiercely. "Look, I'm trying to be reasonable because Phineas would want me to - and he  _wouldn't_  want me to go over there and smack you upside the head for being so… insufferable."

Isabella internally just dared Candace to try it, but she was well aware the threat was nothing more than empty bluster.

"Either way," Candace continued. "I know you're all upset that the 'love of your life' left you. Or whatever. I know it sucks - it did happen to  _me too_ , after all." She paused. "Of course, you can't actually seriously blame him for  _that_ , obviously."

"Oh, please," Isabella cut in. "And why can't I? I was everything he could have ever wanted. I was always there - I was always supportive - I was literally  _perfect_  for it." She laughed bitterly. "What could  _you_  have that I didn't?"

"...I don't know," Candace said slowly. "There's still an awful lot of things that I don't understand, honestly." She shook her head. "Either way...for whatever reasons… are behind this - one thing is for certain - and I know you know it, too."

"Do  _not_ ," Isabella cautioned. "I do  _not_  want to go there with you too."

...was it telling that she already knew what Candace was going to say? Because it was pretty obvious, really. She was pretty clearly gonna go into some spiel about how no matter how much it hurt to have her feelings turned down, that after so long she could hardly blame Phineas for not feeling the same way all at once. And that although casting their entire friendship in doubt was a bit harsh, it wasn't entirely unprovoked. And that she'd had her best chances of success early on - and in doing nothing she'd let it slip out of her grasp, because people developed opinions on these things over time.

She could almost hear Ginger's voice as the familiar words replayed in her brain. She'd meant well, really she had. And maybe she was right. It almost didn't matter - it was done now. It was over. Should she have been more upfront about things? It hadn't really mattered at the time… after all, there was no one else in Danville who would dare cross her in that way. Everyone knew that Phineas was hers - there was no one in the city who didn't realize that.

Except Phineas himself, of course, which had led to this whole debacle in the first place. Maybe she really should have just told him so many years ago, before this whole mess had happened. It had just been… it had never seemed like the right time. He was always so distracted, and there were always other people around and… she could never quite bring herself to confess to him.

And now she'd lost the chance. It was the most bitter, distasteful thought she'd had for years. Because… if it was true, then - well, what now?

"So you know I'm right, then," Candace said. "It's  _not_  my brother's fault that you couldn't get ahold of yourself and tell him how you felt. And it's also  _not_  his fault for moving off down that road without you, what with your eternal lollygagging around the entrance."

"...and so what?" she retorted defensively. "That doesn't make me feel any better, you know. I don't know what it is with you and Phineas that you can't grasp this  _simple_ concept."

"I  _am_ aware of that, thank you very much," Candace snapped back. "If you'd quit interrupting me and let me finish my thoughts, you'd have a much easier time of this, you know?" She rolled her eyes. "Anyway,  _as I was saying_ , I'm sure it sucks. Just because it was  _my_ fault that - that Jeremy broke up with me didn't help me at all."

"Well, we both know how you got over  _your_ issues," Isabella said. "Sadly, that just won't work for me."

"I did not-" Candace protested but she shook her head again. "Ugh. Whatever. Look, I'm about fed up to here with you, so I'm going to cut it really short and then get the heck out of here. Phineas is upset that you won't even hardly talk to him. He's worried that he's lost you as a friend forever and he doesn't like that any more than you do, but he's tried to reach out to you and just keep pushing him away. So there. Happy? Ugh. I'm  _out_  of here."

"Hey - !" she exclaimed, cutting Candace short as she turned to leave. "You act like I'm having  _fun_ in all of this. Did you not understand  _anything_  of what I just said?"

"Well," Candace retorted, "If you're  _that_  miserable, then I guess you know what to do. We both know Phineas would jump at the chance to have you back as his friend - quite unlike me, on the other hand. I'm  _so_ done with dealing with you right now. If you'd just get over yourself once in awhile, it'd be a heck of a lot easier." She rolled her eyes. "I get that you're upset and all that, but really, it's all your fault. And you've gotta quit blaming Phineas for that."

Isabella crossed her arms and huffed. "Why are you so eager to jump to his defence anyway? Oh, right, because you're both getting all creepy up with each other. Do you really think that I'm gonna take anything you say seriously?"

"Oh, please, lay off with that," Candace said. "That's got nothing to do with this and you know it."

"Uh huh - right, for sure," Isabella returned. "You're just like him, you know that? Not able to pull your head down out of the clouds and realize that half the reason this whole thing is such a pain is because of what you're doing. Like, honestly, do you expect to just up and abandon eight year's of nursed feelings, as well as acknowledge that the person who stole him away was…  _you_." She wasn't aware she could put so much vitriol into one word, and she almost scared herself with the sheer bitterness in her tone. "And why exactly should I put up with  _any_  of that? Come on, explain it to me - if you  _can_."

But to her surprise, Candace just shrugged and scoffed at her. "Don't ask me  _that_. I hardly know myself. But it  _is_  happening, for now, and so you can either suck it up and deal with it or just sit here and rot inside. It's not like I really have any reason to care which you do, aside from wanting to see Phineas happy, but he'll get over you. He always does."

"Wait…" Now, for the first time in this tumultuous… exchange of words, Isabella was confused. "You 'hardly know yourself'? You're - you're practically committing  _incest_  and you don't even know  _why_?" She blinked. "That's so… ugh! Why?! How could you do this? It's so  _wrong_!"

Candace rolled her eyes again. "Is this really the whole reason that you're being so stubborn over this? Fine, then, whatever. You want to know 'why', hmm? 'Why' - even though it's 'wrong' and 'disgusting' and 'unnatural' and those other lovely words you mentioned?" She exhaled forcefully. "Fine - I'll tell you. 'Why' is because there's no reason  _not_  to - 'why' is because he makes me feel… safe. And like everything's gonna be okay, even when there's no real reason to think that." Her voice softened slightly as she continued, to a degree that sent cold chills up and down Isabella's spine. "And… I don't know why. I really don't. He says he loves me. And I…"

"Oh, no you don't - don't you  _dare_!"

"... I do too," Candace finished before any more protests had a chance at coming out. "And I already know how terrible a thing that is, trust me." She laughed herself, short and forced. "I've already single handedly quashed the best friendship I ever had because of it. And you would  _think_  I would take the warning like I had an ounce of common sense - to just get out while the getting's good, but…" she hesitated slightly. "I… didn't want to. I couldn't. And...yeah."

Isabella's mouth was hanging open in shock and disgust. Candace looked up and started turning red again, as she seemed to do a lot when verging near this subject. "But - but -" she stammered. "You - you  _can't_  'feel' like that! You  _can't_! You're  _siblings_ , for crying out loud. That's… that's so  _wrong_!"

"Is it?" Candace collapsed back down on the armchair behind her. "Tell me, then, why's that?"

But Isabella had a reason. She mutely raised her arm and gestured in the general direction of the bookshelf pushed against the other wall of the living room. Candace turned and took a passing glance at it. There were multiple books on the shelf, but the one Isabella had meant to point out was clear enough - plenty easily recognizable even if one had never stepped foot in a church building their entire life. And it was clear enough from the expression on Candace's face that she, too, knew what was being driven at.

"Oh, that…" she replied. "Yes, because you don't think I looked in there? Trust me, I looked everywhere under the sun - and a few places above it - trying to find some reason why we simply  _couldn't_  do it." She shook her head. "But… the only reason I could find where it's explicitly forbidden, even in  _there_ , is because of negative effects on - on reproduction. And in a community of people with no new blood coming in, you had to take every precaution against letting the existing bloodlines… inbreed like that." Candace sighed heavily. "It was for medical reasons, Isabella, because that was the only way a small-ish group could survive multiple generations while still under critical mass for self-sustainability." She stopped briefly and shuddered. "Obviously, though, Phineas and I… aren't actually doing  _that_." Her eyes suddenly grew wide. "Oh, no - you didn't think  _that_ , did you?!"

"No!" Isabella exclaimed, almost too loudly. "Ew - that's - no! Blegh." It was all she could do to not physically recoil away from the idea.

"Well, duh," Candace returned. "That's - no. It was  _never_  a possibility. Ever. That's… that's disgusting." She shuddered again and shook her head violently, as if trying to rid herself of the idea.

Having beenstripped of her single best off-the-top-of-her-head reason, Isabella seized onto the next best one she could find. "So what about your  _Plan_ , then? You said that it involved children. I mean..."

Candace smiled a small smile and shrugged again. "Isabella… my plan… has been through the absolute  _shredder_  over the course of this summer. So much - of all the things that I thought were guaranteed to come to pass, well, now they're guaranteed  _never_  to happen. So, I guess, if I'm throwing away the rest of the  _Plan_ , what's that one last little detail? Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, and all that." She chuckled again., though a little more lightheartedly this time. "And if that's what it takes, I guess… I'm okay with it. Because Phineas and I… this is going to happen, for now."

"...well, that's just disgusting," Isabella repeated. "And wrong. I don't know how you do it. Ugh."

"Well, I'm not asking your opinion on that," Candace snapped, traces of her ire returning. "I have enough self-doubt already without you adding more to the pile, thank you very much. If  _anyone_ makes me walk back my decision to do this - it sure as heck isn't going to be  _you_. So you can about give up on that."

"Fine then," Isabella retorted. "So what  _did_  you come over here for? To gross me out? To ruin my afternoon? Because you've done both quite well. So congratulations on that, I guess."

"No, you… ugh," Candace muttered. "I came  _over_  because I know Phineas wants to end all this mess between you two. And I know he's tried - and that you kept kicking him to the curb. So I came over to figure out why - because I saw how much it was bothering him and  _nobody_  gets to do that to my brothers - either of them, before you dare say anything about  _that_."

"Well,  _excuse me_  for taking my time adjusting to the freaky new way of things," Isabella retorted. "Unlike you, I don't have a  _brother_  to run to, to help me deal with stuff. Maybe that's my problem, huh?"

Candace frowned, and looked as if she was about to snap back, but instead she just laughed. "You know what?  _Fine_. It's not my problem. You wanna sit here and mope for the rest of your life? Fine. See if I care. I can tell Phineas I tried, and that's all there was to it." She frowned even more deeply. "You know, I figured you'd have the  _common sense_ to realize that you don't  _have_  to permanently lock yourself up away from him. Just because he doesn't  _love_  you doesn't mean he doesn't want to be your friend." She laughed bitterly. "Unlike me, you've actually  _got a shot_  at repairing the relationship between you and your best friend, but you know what? Fine. See if I care. I'm done. Candace is  _out_. Peace!"

Candace had turned and walked completely out of the living room before Isabella spoke up again. "Hang on a second!"

When there was no response, she hauled herself off the couch and hurried after her, catching up just in front of the front door.

"What?" Candace asked.

Isabella hesitated, not quite sure herself. "I…" She began uncertainly. "I  _do_ want to him to be my friend again." She paused. "I mean… I'd rather him be my  _boyfriend_ , but if that's not going to happen, I… I mean, he was - is my best friend, too. It's just - well, he said that he doubted the entire foundation of our friendship and acted like I never cared about him in any way except to win his heart and I…"

"Well, it sure doesn't seem like you gave him much evidence to contradict that conclusion," Candace said dryly.

"...well, thanks for  _that_ ," she said through grit teeth. "You're not exactly  _helping_  this situation, you know."

"Fine, fine, fine." Candace held up her hands. "Sorry. Geez."

Isabella narrowed her eyes but let the comment slide. "Whatever. Look, I… I  _wanted_  to go over to him. Really, I did. But… I just  _couldn't_. How am I supposed to be able to do any of  _that_ knowing what - knowing what he's  _doing_ -" she took a slight step back from Candace. "-with  _you_?! And even then, I thought maybe I could convince him that this was a  _bad_  idea, that even if he  _doesn't_  think about me at all that he still can't go after his - his  _sister_. But... he wouldn't listen to me. Not anymore." She groaned slightly. "You weren't there. But I was. And he - he acted like the only motivation I ever had for hanging out him him at all was to win him over to me. And I, well, I'll admit that it wasn't ever  _far_  from my mind, but it's not like he wasn't my  _friend_ , too."

"Okay?" Candace echoed.

"Ugh, you just don't get it, do you?!" Isabella threw up her hands in exasperation. "What do you want from me?! No matter what you say, you are  _not_  going to convince to be okay with whatever… freaky thing you've got going on with your  _brother_. That's a - a dealbreaker. I just can _not_  deal with it."

"Fine then," Candace responded, carelessly shrugging her shoulders. "Don't deal. You know Phineas isn't the type to rub your face in it - and it's not like we were planning on acting out in some exceedingly obvious way. It, uh, should be kinda obvious that this  _was_  a secret, after all."

"Don't - don't deal?" Isabella spluttered. "What on  _earth_  are you talking about? How exactly do you think I'll be able to manage  _that_?"

Candace shrugged again. "Look at me - do I look like I care? No. No I don't. Maybe you should tap into that 'friendship' of yours and decide how important it really is to you - now that there's no chance of it ever progressing any further than that." She reached out and grabbed ahold of the front door, pulling it open. "Like I said - I tried, for Phineas' sake. Good _bye_."

She stepped out the door and shut it behind her, only a few pounds of pressure short of slamming it.

"I…" Isabella stammered to herself in the empty hallway. "Ugh!" She clenched her fist and almost felt like stomping her foot, but she resisted the urge.

Stalking back into the living room, she threw herself back on the couch, but couldn't bring herself to turn the TV back on.

It was all so aggravating. She hated all this lying around inside doing nothing. But what exactly was she supposed to do about it? Aside from the usually-weekly Fireside Girls' meetings, there really wasn't a whole lot to do in Danville - at least not a whole lot of stuff as interesting as Phineas' and Ferb's daily projects. Sometimes she was of the opinion that even those projects were a bit over the top, but still. Over the top or no, nothing else in the city (or likely in the world, for that matter) could quite match them in as far as how interesting they could be.

Of course, she hadn't been over to their house in ages now, for obvious reasons. And it was really chafing at her by now - the cabin fever was getting nigh-insufferable. It was too bad there wasn't a patch for that, because she certainly could've earned it by now.

Still, as miserable as it all was - it was certainly better than the alternative. Namely, having to face down the boy who'd simultaneously managed to dump her - for his sister, which was  _not_  a detail you could forget - and also take the state of their entire friendship and throw it under the bus.

Candace's words replayed in her brain.

_Well, it sure doesn't seem like you gave him much evidence to contradict that conclusion_.

Well, she shouldn't  _have_  to! That was the thing, of course. Phineas' reaction had been ridiculously over-the-top, even by her standards, which were... generous, to say the least. That he would think, even for a second, that she'd never thought of him as anything but a potential romantic partner was… disturbing. And it was a little embarrassing, too.

What exactly had been said in the very first argument that had led him to make such a conclusion? She couldn't quite remember - although whatever had  _led_  him there aside, he'd certainly said it. And, of course, he had come over and walked it back a few days later, although she… had hardly been in the state to listen to him  _then_  - given that had also been the day when he'd first let slip that his infatuation with his sister was oh so much more than just that.

Still, that did hold the hope that he didn't actually doubt their friendship all the way to its very core, as he'd first implied. Which was all well and good, really. In fact, she might even have been inclined to accept his rejection of her by now. If it had indeed been just about anyone else on the face of the earth, this would all be so much different. She'd still have been utterly heartbroken, as she was now, but it would have been… different. She'd have been able to accept it, at least, to deal with it - to kick herself and say 'I should've  _known_  that this girl was going to be a problem' and 'If I'd only confronted her - or Phineas - this might've not happened.'

But this? This was… an entirely different ballgame. She couldn't accept this - no way, no how. Despite whatever Candace had rambled on about, there was no way that this - this thing - No. It was just not going to happen, ever. Ever, ever, ever.  _Ever_.

The mere idea of it still somehow defied her comprehension. How Phineas had been so blind to her all this time - whether because he actually  _didn't_  love her back, or because he was really just  _that_  oblivious - and yet still somehow aware enough of what was going on around him to fall - to  _think_  he'd fallen in - in  _love_  with his sister. And Candace had actually  _gone along with it_.

And what could she do about it - she, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, recently dumped and left all alone? Nothing, that's what. Nothing at all. She was… was utterly helpless to stop this thing from happening. And it certainly wasn't for a lack of trying.

But Phineas was Phineas… and Candace was as stubborn as always, and all her sound, reasoned, objections to this thing that played out so eloquently in her mind had gone in one ear and out the other with the both of them. And it was all she could do to not throw up her arms and yell in frustration.

Well, one thing she knew for sure: no matter what happened, whatever Phineas and Candace were getting up to was  _not_ , nor would ever be, okay. That was only the  _rational_ ,  _normal_ response to such a thing, after all.

Still, she couldn't quite help feeling a bit guilty for being so... cold to Phineas when he'd repeatedly tried to reach out to her. And she'd sort of known that he was more bothered than she'd seen by her actions, but hearing Candace confirm it - well, that hadn't helped the situation any.

Because part of her was still maintaining that, after all he'd done to her, it was rather deserved.

But to be so vindictive had never really been part of her nature, and especially not towards Phineas Flynn. Even being  _mad_  at him was unusual. Oh, sure, she'd gotten aggravated and even angry with him many times, mostly over his obliviousness to her flirtations, but a straight-up, flat-out, actual  _fight_? It was practically unheard of.

And yet, it had happened. Twice, almost bordering on thrice, all in the space of two weeks. Which was easily more times than in all of the rest of the years that they'd known each other. Not to mention her… shouting match with Candace, which really hadn't served any purpose at all other than getting  _everyone_ upset.

Still, given Phineas' tendency to cut arguments short by fleeing from them, it had been oddly… cathartic to stand there and yell. At Candace, but that was almost beside the point. Even that, though, wasn't any  _actual_  help, because cathartic or no, she was still in  _exactly_  the same place she'd been before Candace had shown up at the front door.

Sitting dejectedly on the couch, wishing to herself that Phineas would just have been normal this  _one time_  and gone after some other girl so that she could at least get some closure on the whole painful mess. And agonizing over the fact that it was his sister, a fact that seemed an insurmountable barrier between her and finally accepting the situation.

Well… there  _was_ one other thing she knew for sure. That she couldn't stay like this forever. Ginger herself had said the same thing to her just the other day, after Isabella'd spent the better part of ten minutes ranting over the phone about how  _boring_  summer vacation could be without Phineas and Ferb.

"Why don't you just go back over there, then?" Ginger had asked. "It's not like he's gonna hate you now. And I know that it'll be awkward as  _all_  get-out at first - but, then, once you get past that, you'll have your life back. Mostly, of course."

The last 'mostly' had hardly even been necessary. Because aside from her flirting with him - which she did do a lot, to be fair - her crush on Phineas had hardly had any  _real_ repercussions. They'd never really done anything that they couldn't still do as 'just friends' - and for sure not, given that Phineas had done all those things while considering them 'just friends' in the first place.

And Phineas was the last person in the world who would have ever held a grudge against her, she well knew. She really didn't doubt that if she were to walk over there right now, he'd be the first to forgive her - likely while apologizing himself.

So why didn't she?

Because of that whole 'Phineas-and-his-sister' deal? Yes, that was pretty much the only reason. It was such an impassible obstacle, too. Because it was so… so gross! No one could honestly expect her to be able to accept something like that.

Of course, there was still  _technically_  that other option, she supposed. Candace herself had said that she didn't exactly have to condone what Phineas and she were doing - that was between them and them alone. But did it  _have_  to stand between Phineas and Isabella's friendship too?

...the logical answer seemed to be 'yes'. But… she wasn't so sure anymore.

There was no denying that she'd like to be able to have her best friend back, for many, many reasons. And even though it would take a long, long time to entirely abandon all traces of her crush on him… she  _could_ do  _that_ , she was rather confident. The only thing she really  _couldn't_ bring herself to do was condone the…  _relationship_ between him and his sister.

But did she even  _have_  to? Wouldn't it technically be just as possible for her to ignore the subject entirely, to pretend that she numbered among the people from whom the secret was still secure?

She internally recoiled from the idea, knowing full well that it would bring about all sorts of awkwardness and uncomfortable situations.

Then why did she get up from the couch? And go pull on her tennis shoes, and walk through the house to the front door, pausing only for a second to leave behind a note on which was scrawled ' _Gone to the Flynn-Fletchers_ '? Why did she push the door open and begin walking across the street, with the unease still building up in her stomach at the uncertainty that awaited in the backyard that was so familiar to her?

Why did she do any of that?

Because, dang it, she was tired of being alone in the house and bored, forced to constantly pester the Fireside Girls for companionship until she had a feeling she was wearing on their nerves. She was tired of not knowing just how much of her relationship with Phineas had remained intact throughout this most disruptive and damaging of summers.

Because - and this time, with complete honesty, she could actually say 'all crushing aside' - she missed her best friend. And like Candace had said, she did actually have a chance to salvage what was left between them. But, as she also knew now, sitting back and letting things happen on their own was not going to get her anywhere. And she may have lost her chance to turn the boy from across the street into her  _boyfriend_ , but she sure as anything wasn't going to lose the chance to keep him as her  _best friend_.

Well, what did you know. Maybe yelling at Candace had been more helpful than she'd thought.

Perhaps she should do it more often.


	27. Time Spent Together

Candace stalked off across the street in a huff. That had not gone nearly as well as she was hoping for. Who could have expected that Isabella would be so freaking stubborn about this whole thing? It was no wonder that Phineas had struggled to reconcile with her - the girl was immovable in her opinions, that was for sure.

But that was beside the point. The point was - she'd tried. And failed, of course, but… Phineas would understand. It was the thought that counted, after all, right? An attempt had been made.

Shaking off the thought, she turned up the driveway and followed it along the side of the house towards the backyard. As she approached the gate, she could hear Phineas talking excitedly, which was to say, how he always talked. At least the vast majority of the time.

"...and that's when Ferb and I decided that submarines aren't really all that special if the only thing you're gonna do with them is synchronize them. So we decided instead to made a huge mountain of-" he abruptly cut himself off as she pushed the gate open and stepped into the yard. "Hey, Candace!"

"Hey," she replied, closing the gate behind her. "So, I-oh." She stopped awkwardly mid sentence, suddenly unsure of how to proceed. "Hi, Stacy."

Stacy nodded from her seat on the grass, leaning against the base of the tree trunk. "Hi."

Candace's eyes dropped to the ground as she struggled to find something to say. "Hi," she eventually repeated, inwardly cursing herself and feeling the heat begin building up in her face as she did so. "Uh… yeah."

Phineas hastily scrambled to his feet. "It's okay, Candace, I mean -"

Stacy rolled her eyes. "I am  _such_  an enabler," she mumbled under her breath, quiet to the point that Candace didn't know if she was even supposed to have heard it. "Look, Candace - I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty upset that you kept lying to me, and I still don't feel… exactly  _at ease_  with, um, you guys." She shrugged. "But whatever. We're friends first - I'm not gonna let something like this mess that up."

"Really?" Candace echoed, unsure if she was hearing correctly. "You mean…" Out the corner of her eye, she could see a broad grin on Phineas' face, which seemed only to confirm it. But… how?

Well, he was Phineas Flynn, after all. Doing the impossible just came naturally to him, as it always had and likely always would.

"My gosh," Stacy repeated. "Do I have to spell it all out for you? I'm trying to be… vague here out of respect for your secret. Cut me some slack, will you?"

"No, no, of course!" Candace burst out. "I just - I never - I didn't-"

"Am I really that mean all the time?" Stacy asked, although her eyes were light and her expression colored with humor. "I don't like to think so."

Candace plopped herself down on the grass with such force that 'fell' might almost have been a better description. "I…"

Phineas sat back down next to her, though he shot a quick glance back at the house and moved no closer. "It's going to okay - it's going to be  _great_."

"I - yeah," Candace finally managed. She looked up at her friend, hardly able to understand how she felt herself, much less express it coherently. "Thank you? Thank you."

Stacy smiled slightly and shook her head. "I'd assumed that you would've known me well enough by now to know that I wasn't gonna let something get up in between us."

Candace swallowed. "I… thought so?" she offered. "But this… it was - wasn't like anything else. You - you know what I mean."

"Yes, yes - I get it. It's the only reason I'm not chewing you out over not telling me all that time." Stacy shrugged. "I… won't say I'm comfortable, exactly. But I will say that I… don't care - that I intend to, well, to 'look the other way', as it were. You two can do what you like, and Candace, we'll still be friends." She shook her head and wagged a finger in the air playfully. "You should've known not to worry about that one, honestly."

Candace glanced over at Phineas, trying to see if he'd been the one to tell her that, or if Stacy'd just figured it out on her own. Both scenarios were equally likely, to be fair, although she wasn't quite sure which one exactly she prefered. Maybe it didn't matter either way - it had happened, and that was that, after all. Still, she couldn't help but worry.

"So," Stacy said. "I guess that's that, then?"

Phineas nodded, smiling broadly. "It certainly seems so." He turned to face her again. "You alright?"

"I…" Candace was still feeling a little overwhelmed by all this. Just moments ago, she'd had the idea that her best friend had abandoned her, burning down the bridge between them with such ferocity that it could never be rebuilt. But, now, it looked as if - as if that wasn't actually the case? And it was all thanks to Phineas, of course, who had swooped in to save the day, as he generally did. She didn't know how he and Ferb did it sometimes. Speaking of Ferb - where was  _he_? Probably inside the house somewhere. For the moment, Candace hardly cared. "...I'm fine," she said hesitatingly. "Stace, I… don't know what to say. Thank you?"

Stacy chuckled. "How about you tell me I'm an awesome friend and leave it at that?" She paused. "And if something like this comes up again, how about you tell me right away and trust my reaction to me next time?"

"I… will do that," Candace promised. "I swear. And you  _are_  an awesome friend. The best anyone could ever have."

"That's more like it." Stacy grinned.

Candace smiled back, though out the corner of her eye, she saw a brief dart of disappointment flash across Phineas' face. It wouldn't have taken an expert to guess at the root behind  _that_  - and Candace knew well enough. "I tried," she told him. "I really did. I'm… sorry."

On an impulse she reached out and put her hand on his shoulder for a moment or two, before drawing back. Okay, maybe that was rash. But it wasn't very obvious, was it? She didn't really think so, although that might change later on when she started to worry again. For a moment a cold feeling swirled through her stomach, foreboding the return of a feeling that she knew well enough was waiting for her in the near future - very near future, in all likelihood.

But Phineas looked over at her and smiled warmly, and the coldness in her gut seemed to fade. For now, at least, everything was okay. Stacy knew the secret, but she was  _okay_  with it. And had pretty much said so herself. "Thanks," he replied. "I'm sure you did. You… can't win them all, I guess."

The sliding glass door scraped open behind them, and Candace gave a small start at the sound.

_No, Candace, it's okay - nothing's happening out here that would be even_ remotely  _suspicious._

_Not yet_ , a small voice in her brain whispered, but she did her best to stifle that voice and move on, turning in her spot on the ground to face the newcomer.

"Hey, Ferb," Phineas greeted. "How are you?"

Ferb nodded in return, looking over the small group silently.

"Hey," Candace offered. "You were, uh, you were right? I guess?"

Ferb smiled a small, almost smug smile, before shaking his head good-naturedly.

"Yeah, I think we finally got a lot of things… under control," Phineas piped back up. "You've been a great help, too, and you know it, don't you?"

Something about his choice of words was vaguely disconcerting to Candace. 'Under control'? It was certainly something Phineas would say - something optimistic and buoyant - something which made her feel as if her brother was massively overestimating her ability to deal with this thing. She knew he knew  _of_  her struggles with it now, at least, but she knew that he couldn't quite understand or grasp the depth to which they extended. Because that was Phineas. It worried her a little - would she be able to match his expectations of having this 'under control'? What would happen if she failed?

She swallowed, trying to rid herself of such unsettling thoughts. By now she well enough knew that she most certainly did not have anything 'under control' - and that it would take a  _very_ long time for her to achieve any such thing.

Maybe not quite so long as she thought, however. Phineas would help her, that she knew for sure.

Because that, too, was Phineas.

"You'd better come over here," Stacy said. "Help back me up in case these two get any… ideas."

Candace could feel herself turning red at the random comment. "I - no!" she stammered.

"It's alright, Candace," she quickly followed up. "I was just joking. I didn't actually mean that, you know."

"R-right," she agreed, laughing nervously for a moment before letting out a long sigh. "I - ugh. I'm never going to get down of this edge, am I?"

"Don't worry about it," Phineas replied. "We can sit up on the edge together."

It was right about then that Ferb cleared his throat conspicuously, attracting the attention of the group back to himself. "There… is someone here to see you."

What? Candace turned back to her other brother, trying to see who he was talking about. The setting sun was casting a strong glare off the sliding glass door, making it difficult to see inside. Not so for Phineas however - apparently, given the speed at which he scrambled to his feet.

"Isabella!"

Oh.  _Oh._

Wait, if Isabella was here - did that mean that she was here to yell at everybody again, or had Candace actually been  _successful_? She could hardly believe it, if so. They'd hardly parted on good terms just a few minutes ago. And Candace not been very confident in her chances of success anyway - after all, Phineas was the one who inspired that sort of behavior in people, not her. She'd not given a single pep talk in her life that she could remember - or at least not ones nearly so important and  _effective_  as the by-now nearly dozens she'd gotten from her brother over the course of time. It was… just his thing, because her brother was good at practically everything he turned his hands to. Somehow.

Aside from realizing that there were some things that one should never attempt - like trying to have a romantic relationship with one's sister, for example. And yet, he'd done it anyway.

And Candace couldn't quite help but feel glad he did.

"Hi," Isabella said awkwardly, almost shyly - a far cry from the fiery and intensely confrontational attitude she'd had just minutes ago across the street. It was almost like two different people, the difference was so striking.

Phineas crossed the yard towards her. "I - how are you?" He faltered slightly in his speech - very slightly, even, but it was enough to speak volumes about just how important this subject really was to him.

"I'm… fine." Isabella shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Look, I… I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Phineas echoed. "For what? You…" he paused. "You don't have anything to really be sorry for. A lot of it was me. I'm - well, not really the best at these things."

"You're really not," Candace couldn't stop herself from saying, feeling a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth even as she did so.

Phineas turned and looked at her over his shoulder, his smile even broader than before, if that was at all possible. "Okay, thanks for that - I'll remember that someday, you know." He turned back to Isabella. "Are you… you know, okay with - with this?"

Isabella hesitated, and took a deep breath. "No." She stopped for a moment, her eyes drifting to the backyard. Candace got the distinct feeling she was being studied very closely for some reason. "But I don't want to let that - let it keep us in this same funk forever." She faltered again, stumbling over her words. "By 'us', I - I mean, like… our friendship." There was an almost pained expression on her face, but she smiled bravely and persisted even so. "I - I  _seriously_  can't stand this anymore."

"No, no, no - of course," Phineas replied excitedly. "You're always good in my book." He paused. "I always knew that I was wrong in all those things I said. I'm sorry - that was plenty uncalled for."

"I…" Isabella shook her head. "I guess it's okay. After all… I hadn't really given you much evidence to contradict that conclusion, had I? Which is kinda on me."

By the look on her face, Candace now knew exactly why Isabella'd been looking at her so hard. Apparently she'd actually managed to do some good over there. Well, what did you know? Her luck wasn't  _completely_  down in the dumps all the time. You may not be able to win them all - and in Candace's experience, if it was left up to luck, she lost more often than not - but sometimes even the unluckiest of people can score a victory.

Phineas shrugged. "That… really isn't true. There was plenty of evidence if I'd just payed a little more attention to everything. But I wasn't really thinking straight at the time. Not to make excuses - that's bad enough in and of itself."

Isabella turned up her palms. "It's hardly justification for me… being so distant all that time."

"Well," Phineas replied slowly. "I don't suppose I'll be able to convince you otherwise. So… apology accepted? It's all okay by me."

She nodded. "Thanks. And - well, same to you? I guess. No - no hard feelings here."

Phineas looked thoughtful. "Fair enough." He grinned broadly, and stuck out his hand. "It's good to have you back."

"I'm glad to be back," she said. "I… missed my best friend."

Candace almost felt inclined to roll her eyes at the extended awkward scene, but she couldn't really blame her brother, either. After all, the same thing had just happened to her too, and so she knew from very recent experience just how this sort of thing felt - what sort of thoughts must be going through her brother's head right about now. And it was probably even worse - better? - for Phineas, given that Stacy had never actually given her any  _real_ indication that she intended to leave forever, but that had been a frighteningly real possibility with Isabella.

But just like that, Phineas turned back to the group, and waved Isabella over. "Come on, Isabella, Ferb. We were just all sitting out here talking about stuff." It was as if a page in a book had been turned, and huge amount of the tension in the air simply drained away, lost in the contagion that was Phineas' lighthearted cheerfulness.

"Actually, you were kinda telling me some story about a mountain of beans," Stacy pointed out. "But I can't say I was listening super closely."

"Oh, yeah!" Phineas sat back down on the grass. "You know, we should make another one of those one day. It'd be neat, don't you think?"

"Wait, so…" Isabella's voice wavered somewhat as she spoke up. "I - is this just, like, a thing now? I mean-" She shook her head. "-whatever. I don't even know why I asked. It just… sort of  _really_  grosses me out is all. Sorry."

Phineas shook his head. "It's only natural. I'd not think of asking anything more."

"Seriously though," Stacy grew serious for a moment. "You two are in for a ride if you you're really gonna try to do this." She whistled. "It's going to be… interesting."

Candace groaned slightly. "Don't remind me, please. I'm trying to forget that part."

"We know," Phineas agreed, smiling at her - at everyone, because his good mood was infectious and after Isabella he was practically bursting at the seams with cheer and good-nature, even more so than usual. "But, you know, it's  _carpe diem_  - not  _carpe posterum_. So, I guess we'll do exactly that, then. Just like always - focusing on each day as they come - trying to make each day the best day ever." He glanced at Candace out the corner of his eye. "Besides, there's no need to get ahead of ourselves. The future is coming anyway - there's no need to rush it. Unless somebody triggers a temporal loop again, in which case the future would never come."

"Yes... well," Stacy responded. "Barring that, I guess you're right." She shrugged and leaned back against the tree trunk behind her. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks anyway," Candace said, rolling her eyes. "You're great."

"Don't mention it." Stacy shrugged, but flashed her a smile.

"You know." Isabella fidgeted nervously in her seat on the grass. "I know I said I wasn't going to talk or think about this, but… I really do - do wish you well too, though I still really can't stomach the idea."

Phineas' eyes lit up. "Thank you!" He paused. "And it's fine. I - we - don't mind at all."

Candace shook her head in agreement. It wasn't going to be like this with most people, she well knew. Isabella Garcia-Shapiro had fought and yelled at her, and she'd done likewise. And she could honestly say that she didn't care at all what the girl thought.

There would be other people, and Candace knew that she was going to worry again - worry about being caught, worry what those other people would think of her if so, worry about what they'd think even if they were never caught. But she tried to not think about those things right now. Which, with everyone sitting around in the backyard, was surprisingly... not particularly hard.

"Don't worry," Ferb spoke up suddenly. "The passage of time has a way of hardening us to even the most shocking of ideas. Familiarity breeds contempt, after all."

"I… suppose that's true?" Isabella admitted. "I don't know."

Candace smiled slightly to herself at the familiar words. There was so much she still didn't know herself. About this, about everything, really. But… perhaps it was it was better that she act on the things she  _did_  know. And that wasn't a lot, when it came to this subject. But it was enough.

"Does this mean that you still think we're 'shocking'?" Phineas asked their brother.

Ferb smiled but shook his head and remained silent.

"Oh, I see how it is," Phineas continued jokingly. "Well, I suppose we are in a way - all of us. Though you know what that means: as long as we're all shocking, none of us are."

"Oh, no," Isabella suddenly said, her eyes opening slightly wider. "I just remembered there's technically a  _Keeping a Sensitive Secret_  patch in the Fireside Girls' handbook. I… think it's supposed to be talking about, like, classified government files - but this should count too, right?"

"Don't see why not," Stacy commented idly.

"This is great," Phineas rejoined. "We're all together again. I've missed this, you know?"

Candace nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh, look," Isabella suddenly pointed out, gesturing off somewhere to the left. "There you are, Perry. Come over here, boy."

The lazy teal-colored animal slowly trotted over, making that little chittering noise he sometimes did.

"Did you miss me?" Isabella asked, reaching out and patting the animal's head. "I'm sure you did."

"Everyone missed you," Phineas agreed. "Even Perry."

The platypus chittered again, almost as if in agreement.

Candace rolled her eyes slightly in amusement. "You know, Perry's probably gotten to see more than he would like about this whole thing. It's a good thing he's just a platypus, for sure."

"I have also seen more than I would have  _preferred_ , thank you very much," Stacy pointed out. "But yes, it's lucky for Perry."

"Wait, what do you mean by  _that_?" Candace echoed, suddenly becoming worried again. It wasn't anything too terrible, was it? She wasn't sure when or where Stacy would have seen anything, but you can never be too careful, really.

"It's alright," she replied. "It wasn't  _that_  big a deal. I'll survive."

Candace narrowed her eyes, but decided to let the subject drop for now. Later on she'd ask Phineas to see if he knew anything about it - and judging by the look on his face, he probably did. Oh, well. Stacy knew everything already - it wasn't like there was anything else to hide from her anyway. Which was a good thing, too, considering Candace didn't think she'd be able to do this all again and keep her sanity intact. Once was plenty good enough.

Phineas smiled brightly in their general direction, almost dimming the evening sunlight with the light radiating from his features. He was just  _so_  happy - it made Candace glad that Isabella had decided to take her advice after all. Or had decided to come over here and make up out of sheer spite at their fight. Either way worked, to be fair.

And Candace was happy too. What was not to be happy about? She had her best friend back - well, her best friend had never left, technically, although she probably would have ended up doing so had it not been for Phineas anyway - and she had, well, had a boyfriend. In her brother, which… really didn't bother her all that much at the moment.

Because for now everything was alright. And Candace was happy.

The sliding glass door slid open, once again drawing the attention of the group back to itself.

"My goodness," Linda Flynn-Fletcher remarked upon seeing them all sitting out in their circle at the base of the tree. "I didn't realize you all were still out here. I guess I dropped the ball today, didn't I?"

"No, of course not," Phineas replied. "We… had an interesting day ourselves."

_Yes._  Candace agreed internally.  _Yes we did._

"Well, alright then," Linda said. "How about you let me finish off your 'interesting day' in the right way. Why don't you all come in for some pie - it's fresh, too. Sound good to you?"

Stacy hesitated. "Well, it  _is_ almost dinner time… eh, I don't think one little piece will hurt."

"Yes," Candace spoke up. "Yes we would."

Phineas glanced at her and smiled again as they stood up and walked inside the house. Their mother was standing right there, so no more that - a simple look - could take place, but somehow it was all that really needed to be happen anyway.

And as they reached the kitchen and sat down again around the familiar wooden table, she smiled back.


	28. Epilogue - Serious Fun

_One last day of summer, one last day before school has begun. One last day in the sun - let's have some_ serious  _fun!_

The last day of summer had once more descended upon the yellow house on Maple Drive. The hottest part of the year 2021 was long since over, and the leaves on the trees were already beginning to show signs of the approaching change of season.

And as one might have the expected, the Flynn-Fletcher children weren't about to let such an event go by without making the most of it.

Candace still remained somewhat nervous about last days of summer passing - waking up to them often reminded her of that terrible last day of summer four years ago. The passage of time could only do so much to dull those memories, though it had dulled them a to significant extent after all. Indeed, it was often only a fleeting memory, and a bolt of discomfort tempered with fear, that shot through her mind upon opening her eyes to see the familiar date glowing on her alarm clock again.

She was up early, of course, as they often were on special days - the first day of summer; the summer solstice; birthdays; and, of course, the last day of summer. A hundred and four days was a long time, really, and yet at the very end - on that hundred-and-fourth day - it would seem all too short, like there was no way it could be so close to thirty percent of the entire year.

And yet it was - and it was also over.

Well, not  _quite_ yet. There were still fourteen hours before the sun went down, after all.

Phineas had hatched a grand plan for today - a true monument to creativity and to utter defiance of the boundaries of common sense and space-time itself, in more ways than one. Even as she helped draw up the blueprints for the magnificent project - what with the quantum circuitry and rocket engines and steel walls and enormous holographic projectors - she could feel her smile growing wider with anticipation.

Only her brother could have come up with something of this nature. Time and time again, he never failed to amaze them, to the extent that she felt fairly sure he would never run out ideas.

Buford and Baljeet and Isabella showed up right on schedule, with the rest of the Fireside Girls in tow, and even Stacy carved some time of out of her plans for the day to drop by for the festivities, which were going to be out of this world. In some ways, quite literally.

And as she had hoped - and pretty nearly expected - the celebration was a resounding success. Rockets were fired, nuclear material was fissioned, Perry went missing, fireworks were exploded, songs were sung or played from nowhere, the laws of nature were bent out of shape, and in general lots of fun was had.

As the day's project was at last winding down, the Mysterious Force triggered itself off again - although to Candace it almost seemed as if the Force itself was celebrating the end of the season, as she watched the entirety of their creation lift higher into the sky and detonate into an explosion of a million brilliant colors that rained down from overhead.

But the Force's actions didn't quite mark the end of the day for Candace. When Buford pointed out Perry lounging lazily in the grass behind the tree - seriously, did that animal do anything but sleep during the day? - only a few more minutes passed until Linda appeared at the sliding glass door, offering freshly-baked pie to the group of teenagers in the backyard.

And the pie was good, as it always was.

Later on that day, after the kitchen had been cleaned and the dirty dishes put away, and their friends had taken their leave, Candace approached her mother. "Mom, we're gonna go off to the park. That's alright?"

Linda thought for a moment, but nodded. "Sure. You three have fun. Just don't forget that school starts tomorrow."

"We won't," she replied. "See you later."

She returned to the living room to get her brother. "We're good." She didn't really even have to do that - he was ready. Ferb smiled and wished them a good time as they departed.

This wasn't an absolutely foolproof plan, but it was the best one they'd come up with that didn't involve traveling to a distant planet, and it was the one she and Phineas most often resorted to whenever they wanted to go on a date.

Not to the park - no, not even Phineas was quite  _that_  oblivious. She hoped - although every now and then he surprised her, which was wasn't always a good thing. There was a short walk to the park under the rapidly setting sun, and once there they stopped.

Phineas grinned and took a tiny object out of his pocket and set it on the ground. "You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," she returned.

He pulled out a small gadget - a molecular resizing ray - and used it to grow the small object from something the size of a toy into a full-sized hoverjet in just a matter of seconds.

"And the ice cream, too," he said. "Can't forget that."

"No, no, you can't." Candace shook her head. "Give me a second."

She trudged away from him for a few minutes - long enough to walk to the other end of the park, where she knew the ice cream vendor had his stand set up. One brief conversation later, and she was on her way back with two small bowls of the stuff in her hands. More than 'small' - they were actually pretty tiny, but the ice cream wasn't really the point of this anyway.

"Awesome," Phineas said. "Come on - let's go."

She followed him in clambering up onto the jet, bracing herself slightly as he fired up the engine and lifted the vehicle into the air. It rose up, up, and up, until the park - no, until Danville itself - was spread out beneath them like a roadmap. The sun was sinking behind the city's skyline, furiously painting the sky with enormous swathes of color, as if the sun itself was determined to make the most of the last summer sunset.

Phineas brought the jet to a halt, leaving it to hover smoothly in mid-air while he left the controls alone. He pushed a button on the control panel to retract the jet's roof and most of the walls into themselves, leaving nothing to hinder their view of the city while they sat together.

"It's nice," she said, feeling as if it was almost the obligatory thing to say.

Phineas nodded. "It is." He took one of the bowls of ice cream from her and sat down, taking a heaping scoopful. "This is also good."

"How come  _you_ never get brain freeze?" she asked. "I don't know how you can stand mouthfuls that big."

"Can't say I know," he replied. "Maybe we should try to make something that can cure yours one of these days."

"Sounds like it might be convenient." She paused for a moment. "It  _is_ nice, though."

"The brain freeze?" Phineas teased. She shot him a glance and he smiled. "What? Don't look at me like that."

"Alright, then." She sat her now-empty paper bowl on the ground next to her and leaned back into the chair, putting her arm around Phineas' shoulders. "Do you ever think about how weird we must seem?"

Phineas sat his bowl aside and scooted closer to her. "Candace…"

"I know, I know." She sighed. "I'm not going to do anything about it  _now_ … I just can't help but wonder sometimes. A lot of the time actually - but this is hardly the place or the time. I shouldn't be spoiling a perfectly good date with this. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," he said. "You know I don't mind. We can talk about it now, if you want."

But Candace shook her head. "No, let's not. For now, we should probably just sit back and enjoy this."

"Fair enough."

A moment of silence passed between them. Candace felt her boyfriend shift under her arm until he was leaning against her. Ah, well, such was the sort of thing that just had to happen when you still had almost six inches on someone. They'd tried the other way around and it just… didn't work. Maybe at some point in the future, if Phineas ever got taller than her - or at least to the same height. Which was still entirely possible. Theoretically.

"It's so nice up here," Candace repeated herself. "I don't know - it just  _is_. I kinda wish this could just… last for awhile, you know? We're gonna get like an hour or so, but I wish it could just  _be_  longer. Some kind of temporal distortion effect or something, you know?"

"Temporal distortion effect…" Phineas echoed thoughtfully. "Hmm…" He shifted again, moving away from her and sitting up straighter. "I did leave a toolbox and some spare parts in here last time - I bet with a little bit of work we could totally make a temporal distorter to alter our perception of reality - of the passage of time - and do exactly that!"

Suddenly Candace was thankful for those three years and six inches that were still between them. She couldn't stop herself from smiling, though, even as she tensed her arm in an effort to keep him in the seat next to her. Okay, so maybe he could've gotten up if he  _really_ wanted - but her intention was clear.

And she had to give him  _some_  credit at least, because despite all his obliviousness, he seemed to get the point.

"I mean." He cleared his throat, leaning back again and shooting her a rather mischievous smile. "What I  _meant_  was that - that we could sit here and watch this beautiful sunset."

Candace rolled her eyes, but smiled back.

"Yes, yes we can."

**THE END**


End file.
